Spiders as the thoughts of God

Yes, we’re back to the subject of spiders — for a moment.

It was actually a sort of “non-stop spider summer” around here this year, but I decided not to write about it constantly, since readers prefer posts about cats over posts about spiders.  However, my life seems to abound with both.

In the 8 years I’ve lived here, I have never seen as many spiders as I saw this summer.  And since I have a no-kill policy, any spiders that happened to find themselves lounging around in the Great Indoors, eventually had to be escorted back outside by moi. Not a thing I relish doing, since  — if you recall the Brad episode — the spiders this year were super-duper LARGE.

In August, I finally realized that all the flower boxes outside my front windows were completely, thoroughly, and 100 % infested with a busy colony of huge, happy spiders.  This is why they all kept coming inside — they did not differentiate between “flower box in the window” and that great big WELCOME mat in front of the screen door, directly next to them.  “Su casa, mi casa” they would often chuckle, as they persistently made their way indoors to jolt me out of my calm contentment. I have to say, though, that once I realized where they were all coming from, it was really fascinating to watch them in the flower boxes. I just wish they weren’t so creepy looking.

A couple weeks ago, I got up the nerve to get all the window boxes emptied over in the flower beds, so that the spiders could re-locate away from the house, but some of the really big ones still come over and hang out on the front step, or literally on the screen door. It is almost like they are coming to visit me, personally.  They do not run away from me now, even when I am really close to them.

THEY [clinging to the screen door]: “Hey, cutie! Yeah — you! Sorry, I don’t remember your name, but could you come over here and help us with this door? We’re trying to get in.”

If you subscribe to the same theological/philosophical beliefs that I do, that we exist as Thoughts of God, then you will grasp what I’ m trying to say in the title of today’s post.  I believe that our true existence is in the one Mind of God. That we all spring into being from the thoughts God has.  So I have often wondered, this summer, what a spider feels like in God’s mind, and what is God thinking about when a spider springs from His (Its) thoughts? So far, there are 35,000 known species of spiders in the world. Why the heck is that? Such an abundance of creation going on all the time! It is such a liberating thought, you know.

One afternoon in early September, one of the really large spiders (about 2 1/2 inches in length) was sitting on the front step, just staring out at the world. It wasn’t asleep, it was definitely awake, but it was just sitting there, taking it all in, and really at peace.  It never once flinched when I walked past it, and I had to, several times. It just sat there, contemplative, for hours. I know, because I kept checking on it. It left sometime during the night. But it spent a really lovely afternoon just peacefully taking in all of creation from its own inviolate POV. I found that really joyful, you know? It wasn’t afraid of me; it knew I wasn’t planning to hurt it. Proof that when listening to our own true natures we need never be bogged down in anxiety. We can bask in the sunshine, the blue sky, the gentle breeze — and have a fulfilled life.  There is no fear. And having goals and such is just gravy.

I also think about how liberating it must feel to just trail off on a wisp of a web when you want to float off somewhere.  Or how it feels to be able to just spin a cocoon-like little home when you want to settle in and be cozy and safe from the elements.  Spiders really do fascinate me and I wonder why on earth they were created (times 35,000 and counting). I don’t need to know the answer. The question alone speaks volumes about all the things we cannot possibly know.  And it only points to the big question mark of who we are and why.  I’m not sure there’s a knowable answer for that question, either, but whatever that answer might be feels more sacred to me all the time.

Okay, I suppose I will close this and get some work done around here. I’ll leave you with a photo of some other creatures I love, who wandered into my home of their own persistent accord two years ago: Those endearing little redheads, Tom and Huckleberry! Both untamed females! (They’re the best kind of females, don’t you think??)

Okay, see ya, gang! Thanks for visiting!!

Tom and Huckleberry, in the sun room a few minutes ago!
Tom and Huckleberry, in the sun room a few minutes ago!

 

 

Seemingly back on track!

I had been really excited about yesterday. I had veritably quarantined the entire day for me — me, me, ME!  I knew I would have one quick call with one of the producers in LA, and that was going to be the only “work” related thing I would allow to happen all day.

Except for the Hospital Visitation Training,  which happened on Monday night, I am on break from school this whole week.  Yesterday was going to be a day where all I would do was work on my own projects; write whatever I felt like writing; just sit at my desk and be creative and happy! I would fiddle with my notes from that rewrite seminar I took on Saturday and I would use what I’d learned to create veritable miracles with my scripts! I would break new ground that would lead to unqualified success all across the board!

It panned out a little differently.  First off, even though I had slept great because the night had been really cool — down in the low 40s — it turned out that I was totally, thoroughly, 100% exhausted. I was too exhausted to even do my morning meditation; I couldn’t think straight. It seems weird to have been too tired to meditate, but it happened.

Then Kevin called and I was going to regale him with all the miracles we now held in our hands, thanks to that rewrite seminar, and how it was going to elevate our script to new heights… Instead, he unexpectedly said, “I’m sorry to bother you so early in the morning, Marilyn, but our car blew up.”

“What?!”

“It was parked in the street, over a manhole cover, and something down in the sewer exploded and it sent the manhole cover right up into our car. We had a full tank of gas. The car completely exploded. Went up in flames. It is totally destroyed. And now there is no electricity in the apartment. The whole building is out. And for some reason, it’s really cool outside but unbearably hot in the apartment. I’m losing my mind. I hate Brooklyn.”

Wow, well after that, I figured that discussing our miracles could wait until some other time.

I tried to journal (yes, that noun that has become an exceedingly active verb in our culture), but just as I was getting started, one of the men that I do part-time clerical work for called and asked if I could do one quick payroll thing for him on my computer, so I said yes, and twenty minutes later, I was too exhausted to “journal.” So I wrapped myself in a cozy sweater, went down to the family room and watched a “Miss Marple” movie that I had DVR’d (another exceedingly active verb from our culture) from PBS.  I enjoyed the movie so much! It required that I do nothing but sit and stare! I am really good at that, especially when I am exhausted.

Since it was such a gorgeous day outside, after the movie, I forced myself to go take a walk down to the creek and back. About 3 miles, tops. I thought it would invigorate me.  And it really was such a beautiful fall day.  So I walked. I walked and I walked.  I saw the ducks, the swan, and the beautiful creek with the sunlight playing on the gently rushing water as it flowed over the rocks. I decided to take the Big Walnut Trail back to my house, instead of walking along the busy street. (If you check that map I linked to, my neighborhood is — yes! — Gramercy Park! And, no, it is not that Gramercy Park!)

It was really a beautiful walk. I even took this photo for you of the empty community swimming pool, always such a bittersweet sight in autumn:

Gahanna community pool, CLOSED now 'til summer.
Gahanna community pool, CLOSED now ’til summer.

But as I got closer to my neighborhood, what did I discover? Construction going on!! They were tearing up everything and it was full of noisy trucks and tons of construction workers!! This is one of the reasons why I hate living here now and am moving away: there is construction everywhere; trees being torn down all over the place. They are even going to tear down my 60-year-old maple tree once they bulldoze my house. I am really heartsick about all of it. But what was worse, is that I had to turn around and walk back to where I had come from, then head home from there — adding about 2 more miles to my “nice walk.”

By the time I finally got back home, I was indescribably exhausted. I spent the rest of the day laying in bed with Fluffy, watching a veritable marathon of Andy Hardy movies on TCM. It is both an innocuous and nauseating way to spend about six hours! But I was too tired to do a single other thing but stare.

So much for yesterday. But I slept great last night and feel totally back on track today, so I will attempt to spend the afternoon working on those miracles. We shall see!! Meanwhile, I leave you with the clip below.  (Multiply this 3-minute clip by 6 hours and see if you don’t come to a solution that looks like “nausea!”)

Alrighty! Have a terrific, peppy, miraculous Wednesday, wherever you are. Thanks for visiting, gang! See ya!

Ok, Need to Turn Things Around

This not sleeping right nonsense has got to stop. Last night, I slept 8 hours but they were “fitful.” (As evidenced by the selfie above that I just now took, right this minute, which highlights the lovely lines all around my eyes. They are usually not there.)

Actually, that’s an interesting word — fitful. It’s an adjective that means “occurring irregularly.”

I woke full of resistance this morning, feeling argumentative. After breakfast, I did a guided meditation on letting go of resistance and I thought that had worked. My ACIM review lesson this morning was on not holding onto grievances; so I thought I had a grip on that. But then, everything I pulled out of my closet and tried on to maybe wear to church made me feel like crap, so I got mildly pissed-off and, after changing clothes no less than 5 times, what I eventually did was stayed home from church altogether, at the last minute. Which made me feel like even worse crap. (This is all good English, mind you, so feel free to borrow liberally from me!) I hate when my insecure ego gets in the way of my doing things that I normally really love to do.

So then I decided to go for a walk. It had made me feel so great yesterday. But I got to the end of my driveway and noticed dark, thunderstorm-like clouds on the horizon, so I turned around and went right back inside, where I noticed that I have a ton of housecleaning to do, but I do not feel like doing a single bit of it (which is not the best idea when you have ten cats).

In short — the day seems to be sucking! And I am not one who suffers sucky days gladly, gracefully. Graciously? Hm. Which word? Well, whichever way, I don’t like wasting time on suckiness so I need to turn it all around.

Here’s the good stuff: a.) I turned in all my homework for the Church Administration class so that is DONE. I am officially on a 10-day break from school, starting today;  b.) that course I took yesterday on screenplay rewrites was actually really good. I recommend it, even though I have to be honest and say that I don’t always recommend those free screenwriting courses from Screenwriting U, but this one was, in fact, really helpful. And it will come in handy, since I am currently up to my eyeballs in no less than three separate projects that are in rewrites: a one-woman play; a feature-length screenplay; an hour-long TV pilot; and c.) I have to teach a 2-hour writing class tomorrow, but other than that, I don’t really have to be anywhere for “work” work until Wednesday morning at 10 AM.

All those things together should add up to a terrific Sunday, right? I would think so. You know, it has gotten really breezy outside and those dark clouds actually blew away without ever raining on us, so I think I will re-visit that idea of taking a walk. It’s windy but the sun is really shining now. Then maybe I’ll go to a movie. I still want to see The Hundred-Foot Journey and I can see it today for 5 bucks! So perhaps I will! Anything to not let the suckiness rule.

Okay, I hope Sunday is panning out really great for you, gang, wherever you are! I leave you with the song below, as an added omen for non-suckiness! Thanks for visiting. See ya!

Such a Wonderful Morning

Before my Skype session with Kevin, I decided to go out and take a walk. It was a really beautiful morning and I had actually slept a full 8 hours during the night.

It was one of those mornings where I awoke feeling full of energy and happy and singing to the cats.  I don’t know if they prefer when I wake-up that way, but I sure do. It beats being awake at 2 AM and not being able to get back to sleep — a thing I did twice last week.

I took my walk down to the creek and brought some bread along with me in order to feed the ducks. It was only about 7:30, so I was the only person there. I took some photos for you with my iPhone:

Long shot of the waterfall on the creek
Long shot of the waterfall on the creek. The creek is filled with ducks.
Those white dots beyond the waterfall are white ducks
Those white dots beyond the waterfall are white ducks
Mallards in among the rocks
Mallards in among the rocks

All in all, if you would like to actually see the many ducks I was feeding, you should probably just go to the creek yourselves because my ability to take good photos is not that great!

But what a peaceful morning. I walked about 3 miles, then came back home in time to call Kevin in New York and to wake him and tell him it was time to Skype!

Now I am finishing up my final paper for the Church Administration class in school. I am not sorry to see this class end, gang. It has not been my favorite, by any stretch. And after this, I only have two more courses and I graduate. That equals 10 weeks left of school, with two week-long breaks thrown in. I will graduate right before Christmas, most likely Magna Cum Laude.

I had the best phone conference last evening with the actress in NYC — the one I am doing 2, and possibly 3, theater productions with in the coming year(s). Wow, what a great conversation. I cannot wait for this show to be edited and ready for production, because I want all of you to go to New York City and see it!! It is going to be such a great show!

Okay. Back to the final paper for class, then the 2-hour telecourse on screenplay rewrites , then hopefully the rest of the weekend off. We shall see how that pans out.

Hope you are having a terrific Saturday, gang, wherever you are and whatever you’re doing. Get out there and feed some ducks, all right? Thanks for visiting! See ya.

Apparently cats also feed ducks!!
Apparently cats also feed ducks!!

Scotland and such

My prediction about Scotland certainly hit it right on the nose, didn’t it?? Assuming that by “right on the nose” we mean that I couldn’t have been more wrong!! But I’m happy with the vote. I am one of those people who really likes to see things stay the same indefinitely…

In that vein, I just came from the eye doctor where I ordered a new pair of glasses for the first time in 8 years. And I got one of those brand new Marilyn Monroe designer frames!! I can’t wait until they are ready.  Nothing like finally buying a new pair of glasses but selecting a frame based on a 60-year-old design! This is the style I chose:

Marilyn Monroe Frames
Marilyn Monroe Frames

Here’s hoping they make me look super smart! Just like Marilyn Monroe.

Marilyn Monroe looking super smart in "How to Marry a Millionaire."
Marilyn Monroe looking super smart in “How to Marry a Millionaire.”

Well… yesterday.  I said we would meet back here today and compare notes, so here we are. How did it go for you, gang? It was still a little bit strange for me, I have to say. But today I am kind of feeling the energy getting back to normal. Last night, I was up again around 2:30 and could not get back to sleep.  So it’s kind of odd that I feel my energy actually getting back to normal today. I even finished a ton of homework this afternoon.  But I do hope I sleep better tonight. I hate it when I can’t sleep but I also hate to reach for those OTC sleeping aides… Oh ha ha ha, just kidding. I love to reach for those OTC sleeping aides!!

Okay. It is officially Friday evening. I have a couple of conference calls later but, for the most part, I am done, done, done and turning off the computer. I hope you have something fun planned for the weekend, folks! I am going to be Skyping with Kevin in the morning, and then doing this in the afternoon. One of these days, all I’m going to do is relax. Not sure where or when, but one of these days…

See ya, gang. Thanks for visiting!

Relaxing
Relaxing

The world is askew!

I don’t know if you noticed it, too, but in my corner of the universe, the energy was seriously strange yesterday.  Everything and everyone seemed off balance, including moi. It was not a day I feel like repeating so I hope today will be back to normal. I guess we’ll find out.

We’ll also find out if Scotland votes for Independence today, which will be very interesting.  I get the feeling they will vote in favor of it. Not because I can predict things like that, but only because the world is in such chaos right now, why not throw an Independent Scotland into that crazy mix? In the sense that nothing seems to make sense anymore and only the unexpected can be counted on, then an Independent Scotland will fit right in.  Again, we’ll soon find out.

Pam Grout‘s new book, E-Cubed, is out now. I started reading it yesterday and that, at least, gave me some really great energy.  I am one of those people whose life was profoundly changed by A Course In Miracles and I really love her simple, fun, joyous approach to who we really are. So far, I like this new book even better than E-Squared, which was a NY Times bestseller, if you aren’t familiar with it.

E-Cubed
E-Cubed

On the TV pilot re-writing front… I have decided it is time to pull back a bit and try to remember where I was originally going with this thing! I think I want to go back to square one and really focus on the audience I created this story for; maybe  that will help me find that voice again. Because right now, it is based on story notes I got from the producers and that can be a very un-targeted way of writing. (Yes, I created a new word there: un-targeted. Feel free to use it whenever your own writing is simply let loose into the stratosphere with no recognizable purpose.) The results are vague and just sitting there, although on the conference call the other day, one of the producers said that it was “going in the right direction.” However, rocket ships launched into space are “going in the right direction” but if that rocket is un-targeted (!!), not specifically aimed at anything, it has no purpose. So back to square one I go!

Meanwhile, the pages from the play from NYC did indeed arrive and I am so incredibly excited to be working on this project, even in such a small capacity as the editor of dialogue. It is an original musical, a one-woman show — a one-African-American-woman show — and, to me, it feels like a cross between Rent and Hedwig & the Anrgy Inch.

These are the same people that I will be working with on the Pearl Bailey play (as the writer), and perhaps even another musical down the line (as the writer again), and I couldn’t be more excited, gang. Really.  Theater has always been my first love, and musical theater, specifically. In fact when I was a little girl, I wanted to grow up to be Julie Andrews. I spent many carefree hours blithely dancing around the playroom in the basement, singing  along to the original cast recording of “I Could Have Danced All Night”  from My Fair Lady. At some point — when I was around 12, I think — I realized that if Julie Andrews already existed there was no point in pursuing “being her” when I grew up, so I wound up being me, instead. But I do still have a fondness in my heart for Broadway musicals, that’s for sure. And I am so excited by this unexpected turn in my life right now.

Okay, I am almost done with the Church Administration class — this is the final week. So I’d better get crackin’ on the homework. But I leave you with the video below! (Just picture her as a 5-year-old me, downstairs in our playroom, in Cleveland circa 1965…) Have a great Thursday, gang, wherever you are, and if it winds up being just as insane as yesterday, then let’s vow to get through it together!! We’ll meet back here tomorrow, in whatever shape we’re in! See ya then! Thanks for visiting!

A Nice Respite

The photo today is of my beloved Buster, who passed away one year ago today. He was eleven. I still miss him like crazy…

Okay. So. This is how the “very busy” weekend panned out:

My Skype session with Kevin was phenomenally great.  We had even more breakthroughs in the script than we’d had the weekend before. It felt like finally cracking the code. Eureka! Suddenly we had all the pieces to the main character and everything made sense.

It only took us two hours instead of our usual three or four, which meant that, by some miracle, I was finished with all my homework by 5 PM on Saturday.  Which meant that I didn’t have to do any homework at all on Sunday, which was a stunning a day — just the most beautiful fall-like weather. I went to church early and took a class on Deuteronomy, then went to the church service itself, then was home by 12:30 and had NOTHING I NEEDED TO DO!! This is something that never happens to me.

Act One of the play that was set to come on Saturday from NYC had not arrived yet, although the actress texted me several times, saying it was going to be ready by Sunday night… So I had all of Sunday — a beautiful Sunday, no less just totally to myself. I even drove over to L’Occitane En Provence and bought my favorite bar of soap.  That was exciting to me (!!) because I am usually so freakin’ busy that I don’t even have time to do something as simple as go out and buy my favorite bar of soap. I usually have to just dash in to the grocery store and find a somewhat-reasonable-facsimile kind of soap that really is just never even close.

Gosh it was really just a beautiful day.  I felt so blessed. I rounded out the day by watching Part One of Ken Burns’ documentary on The Roosevelts on PBS. Which I really enjoyed. The end of a perfect day.

Okay! Monday is underway and promises to be nothing at all like yesterday. However, I am attaching the video below in order to share my beautiful Sunday blessings with you, one day late!

Have a great Monday, gang, wherever you are! Thanks for visiting. See ya.