Tag Archives: spiders

Spiders as the thoughts of God

Yes, we’re back to the subject of spiders — for a moment.

It was actually a sort of “non-stop spider summer” around here this year, but I decided not to write about it constantly, since readers prefer posts about cats over posts about spiders.  However, my life seems to abound with both.

In the 8 years I’ve lived here, I have never seen as many spiders as I saw this summer.  And since I have a no-kill policy, any spiders that happened to find themselves lounging around in the Great Indoors, eventually had to be escorted back outside by moi. Not a thing I relish doing, since  — if you recall the Brad episode — the spiders this year were super-duper LARGE.

In August, I finally realized that all the flower boxes outside my front windows were completely, thoroughly, and 100 % infested with a busy colony of huge, happy spiders.  This is why they all kept coming inside — they did not differentiate between “flower box in the window” and that great big WELCOME mat in front of the screen door, directly next to them.  “Su casa, mi casa” they would often chuckle, as they persistently made their way indoors to jolt me out of my calm contentment. I have to say, though, that once I realized where they were all coming from, it was really fascinating to watch them in the flower boxes. I just wish they weren’t so creepy looking.

A couple weeks ago, I got up the nerve to get all the window boxes emptied over in the flower beds, so that the spiders could re-locate away from the house, but some of the really big ones still come over and hang out on the front step, or literally on the screen door. It is almost like they are coming to visit me, personally.  They do not run away from me now, even when I am really close to them.

THEY [clinging to the screen door]: “Hey, cutie! Yeah — you! Sorry, I don’t remember your name, but could you come over here and help us with this door? We’re trying to get in.”

If you subscribe to the same theological/philosophical beliefs that I do, that we exist as Thoughts of God, then you will grasp what I’ m trying to say in the title of today’s post.  I believe that our true existence is in the one Mind of God. That we all spring into being from the thoughts God has.  So I have often wondered, this summer, what a spider feels like in God’s mind, and what is God thinking about when a spider springs from His (Its) thoughts? So far, there are 35,000 known species of spiders in the world. Why the heck is that? Such an abundance of creation going on all the time! It is such a liberating thought, you know.

One afternoon in early September, one of the really large spiders (about 2 1/2 inches in length) was sitting on the front step, just staring out at the world. It wasn’t asleep, it was definitely awake, but it was just sitting there, taking it all in, and really at peace.  It never once flinched when I walked past it, and I had to, several times. It just sat there, contemplative, for hours. I know, because I kept checking on it. It left sometime during the night. But it spent a really lovely afternoon just peacefully taking in all of creation from its own inviolate POV. I found that really joyful, you know? It wasn’t afraid of me; it knew I wasn’t planning to hurt it. Proof that when listening to our own true natures we need never be bogged down in anxiety. We can bask in the sunshine, the blue sky, the gentle breeze — and have a fulfilled life.  There is no fear. And having goals and such is just gravy.

I also think about how liberating it must feel to just trail off on a wisp of a web when you want to float off somewhere.  Or how it feels to be able to just spin a cocoon-like little home when you want to settle in and be cozy and safe from the elements.  Spiders really do fascinate me and I wonder why on earth they were created (times 35,000 and counting). I don’t need to know the answer. The question alone speaks volumes about all the things we cannot possibly know.  And it only points to the big question mark of who we are and why.  I’m not sure there’s a knowable answer for that question, either, but whatever that answer might be feels more sacred to me all the time.

Okay, I suppose I will close this and get some work done around here. I’ll leave you with a photo of some other creatures I love, who wandered into my home of their own persistent accord two years ago: Those endearing little redheads, Tom and Huckleberry! Both untamed females! (They’re the best kind of females, don’t you think??)

Okay, see ya, gang! Thanks for visiting!!

Tom and Huckleberry, in the sun room a few minutes ago!
Tom and Huckleberry, in the sun room a few minutes ago!



Saint-Exupery was Righter than I Knew!

Yesterday afternoon, I took a break in my homework and went down to the kitchen. I filled the watering can and opened the kitchen door, went out on the stoop to water the herbs and the geraniums, came directly back inside, and in that short time, somehow Brad managed to be out in plain sight, dashing across the kitchen floor with my cat, Bunny, in shocked pursuit.

At first, I screamed. I screamed because an enormous spider was suddenly dashing across my kitchen floor!

Next, I screamed. I screamed because I immediately recognized it as Brad and I didn’t want Bunny to kill him!

Like some lunatic, I screamed, “Bunny, no! It’s Brad! It’s Brad!”

Oddly enough, both Bunny and Brad froze in their tracks. Bunny froze because she was stunned that I was so suddenly screaming. Brad froze because I think he was stunned that anyone in the kitchen knew him by his Christian name…

I grabbed the kitchen broom, thinking I would sweep Brad out the kitchen door to the outside world. But instead he climbed right on to the whisks and I was able to simply carry him and calmly deposit him outside into the garden right outside the kitchen door.

It only took a handful of nano-seconds for the whole thing to transpire, but after it was over, and Brad was safely back in the wilds, I thought to myself, OMG, how weird! I actually recognized a spider. Saint-Exupery was right! When you name something, you tame it, and it becomes familiar to you; you recognize it as distinct from all the others in the world that are just like it.

So Brad came into my life not just to terrify me and teach me about taming my fears, but also to teach me about — well, I don’t know; I’m not sure what. But it has something to do with naming, claiming, taming and how it leads to caring and recognition.

Well, all right! How’s that for a great way to start a Monday morning? It should be an okay week here. I actually got an email from the ScriptPipeline Contest people. I had entered my TV Pilot, Cleveland’s Burning, in their TV Pilot contest earlier this year. I was not among the finalists, but it turns out I was a writer that “showed promise”, so they want to have a free phone consultation with me this week about Cleveland’s Burning; about how it’s going, how it’s progressing, what my plans are. I’m guessing that they also want me to invest in their company again in some way, but that could just be jadedness talking. We’ll see. I told the producers  working with me on the pilot right now that this phone consultation was going to happen, and they were pleased, but also, you know — “well, we’ll be very interested to hear what they have to tell you.” (Meaning (I think): don’t take this to other producers.)

I have to say, life is really looking good on all fronts. I hope it’s looking pretty good wherever you are, too, gang! Have a terrific Monday. Thanks for visiting! See ya.

Bunny relaxing & spreading her little toes after the shocking Brad encounter.
Bunny relaxing & spreading her little toes after the shocking Brad encounter.

Thank God Almighty, Free At Last!

In answer to my deepest prayers & fondest hopes, Brad has hit the road. Gone, baby! I don’t care where he went to, and I don’t plan on looking for him — in case he only went as far as, like, my underwear drawer or something equally unwanted and horrifying.

He left a hand-written note. However, he wrote it with all 8 of his hands at once, so it’s hard to decipher, but it looks like it says:  I am outta here, crazy lady. Got places to go and people to terrify. It was great while it lasted. See ya in the funny papers. -Brad

In all seriousness, I am really glad the spider’s gone, and also really glad that I didn’t have to kill it because I never would have done it. And it’s funny that once I named him and became less afraid of him, creepy as he still was, I slept peacefully through the night, then awoke yesterday morning and he was just gone. And it’s been 24 hours now, so I think he really is gone. Yippee ki yi yay! It just proves that once we face our fears, we find out they are nothing!

Today, in addition to my scintillating homework in the Church Administration course (I have to write a response on how Objectives make for Good Church Administration — I know; don’t hate me because my life is so heady and exciting!), I also work at the church. I am currently re-organizing the Senior Minister’s personal library. I love doing this because the building itself is a European-style Neo-Gothic cathedral, built in 1931, and his office is to die for.  I simply love being in it. So much dark wood, and enormous old windows, and high ceilings. And the whole office has floor-to-ceiling bookshelves on each wall, filled with everything from 200-year-old Holy Bibles, to every theology book imaginable, to Social Justice & Political books, to things like The Catcher in the Rye and Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

I just love being surrounded by all these books. I have to re-organize them in some sort of order that makes it easier for him to find what he needs, when he needs it. And alphabetize them.  It’s actually kind of a tough job because there are just so many books.  And while I’m there, the Minister pulls out books and makes little piles and says, “I don’t think I need these anymore,” then a moment later, he changes his mind — he still wants them! — but the books stay in the new little piles, confusing me.

The worst part is — and I use that term loosely — he keeps giving me all these really cool old theology books, or books that will help me with my own ministry. I LOVE books! I, too, have way too many books! And I will be moving in 6-8 months. We all know how much fun it is to pack up box after box after box of heavy BOOKS, move them, then unpack them!

The Minister says to me, “Here — would you like this?” And my eyes get wide, and I say, “Yeah! Wow, that is so cool. Thank you!!” Then I lug the books out to my car, try to wedge them into a bookshelf here at home, wonder when on earth I will ever find time to read them, and try not to think of the joys of packing…

The other news is that there is no news yet on how my re-writes of Act One are going, and there won’t be any feedback until both producers get to meet over coffee next week. So I am kind of stumped. I need to utilize this “free” (ha ha ha) time and keep working on the re-writes because any day now, I will have to switch gears and tackle the re-writes of the play and take off for NYC and do more heady things , like work magic and fall in love again! So what do I do? Just proceed to re-writing Acts 2 through 4, in hopes that my re-writes for Act One did not go too far afield?

I guess I’ll know when I know, right, gang? It probably makes more sense to just keep writing…

Okay, well, have a terrific Friday, wherever you are and whatever you’re doing! Thanks for visiting, folks. See ya!



I’ve named the spider Brad. Since he clearly has no intentions of relocating anytime soon, I thought that giving him a name that was harmless-sounding , Ivy League-ish (dare I say “WASP”-y, since he is clearly an arachnid??) — it  would make the enormous spider near my bed a lot less frightening.

So far, it’s working. I plug in my iPhone to re-charge it, catch a glimpse of Brad hanging out in the corner with his super-creepy long, brown legs and I say, “Hey, Brad. How’s it going?” And he does seem less frightening. In fact, he seems to belong to me now that I’ve named him.

I will even go so far as to quote Antoine de Saint-Exupery in The Little Prince:

“I am looking for friends. What does that mean — tame?”

“It is an act too often neglected,” said [Brad]. “It means to establish ties.”

“To establish ties?”

“Just that,” said [Brad]. “To me, you are still nothing more than a [crazy lady] who is just like a hundred thousand other [crazy ladies]. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you I am nothing more than a [spider] like a hundred thousand other [spiders]. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world….”

And so goes the story of me and Brad.

Brad, just moments ago...
Brad, just moments ago…

On other fronts.

I sent the re-writes of Act One of the TV pilot to one of the producers to see if I am anywhere near on the right track. We shall see. If we are, then I will write like a demon to get Acts Two through Four re-written by next Friday and then move on to the play I need to edit. The fabulous play that will cause me to travel to New York City and back many times this fall! And — yes! — see that guy I used to love! (Well, I probably still love him because every time I speak to him on the phone, my heart zings off somewhere far beyond the moon, but we shall see…)

However, if Act One still needs work, everything mentioned above will remain the same, except that I will write like a super-demon instead.

In case you’re curious (and keeping track) the new course I’m taking in school, Church Administration, is just about as indescribably unexciting as I had anticipated it would be. Arrrrgggh. However, only 2 more classes after this, and I am home free, as they say. A divinity graduate, Magna Cum Laude. Yippee ki yi yay.

The other course I’m taking, Pastoral Care and Hospital Visitation Training, is already intense, and it only started this past Monday night.  The course includes such effervescent topics as: People in Crisis & Illness; Care for those with Mental Illness; Grief & End of Life; Ministry to the Elderly; Care for those with Disabilities, and the ever-popular Ministry in the Midst of Addictions. (And by that, I think they mean that Addicts will be in our Midst, not that we, as ministers, will be in the midst of our own addictions. But you know, you never really know, until you really know.)

So that’s life around here. I must get back to the dry-as-dust world of Church Administration. (The textbook makes me feel like I speak English as a second language. Honestly, the sentence structures are so convoluted, I have to keep re-reading the same sentences over & over & over until they finally start to make sense. By then, I’m dead asleep and have to snap out of it and start over.)

All right. I will leave you with a shot of Weenie in the planter shaped like a small wheelbarrow. Weenie is the twin brother of Skipperdee, who got adopted. They are both named after characters in the Eloise books. (You can see the original Skipperdee and Weenie pictured with Eloise at that link.)

Okay. Bye! See ya! Thanks for visiting, gang!

Weenie in teh wheelbarrow planter
Weenie in the wheelbarrow planter


A wolf spider, so suddenly!

I have been in this house 8 years now and I’ve noticed that as soon as fall weather arrives, a wolf spider or two will come indoors, run around and scare me, then disappear.  Actually, I’m of the opinion that they are always here, but that they live inside the walls or under the floor boards, or anywhere where there is wood. And then the colder weather sends them into “warmth” which happens to permeate the areas where I can then see them.

I like spiders, in general, but wolf spiders, especially big ones, have such an amazing presence about them that I cannot help but gasp in horror whenever I see one inside the house. But usually they are en route to anywhere where they don’t have to look at me.

Last week, we had several days running of beautiful, cool, even chilly fall-like weather. I kept thinking to myself, “Wow, it feels like fall!” And clearly the wolf spider living somewhere in the vicinity of my bedroom thought the same thing: “Wow, it feels like fall! Time to go see what that crazy lady inside is doing!”

But this one is not en route to anywhere. It is cozily living in the corner of my bedroom, down close to the floor, close to my bed, which is usually my safe heaven from everything in the entire world.  I really do like spiders, so I don’t want to kill it, but I really wish it would just go away. It adds an undercurrent of drama to every single thing that I do in my bedroom right now.  I always have to go look at it and make sure it isn’t getting anywhere near me first.

Wolf spiders can see really well, and they move really fast, so whenever it sees me looking at it, it bolts away and hides. Then comes back, like the proverbial bad penny.  I’m sure he’s just as dismayed by my presence as I am by his, because clearly he’s got a cozy little thing going for himself.

He [on his tiny iPhone talking to friends]: “Yeah, I love the new place, but there’s this gi-normous thing living here. I don’t know what to call it, but it’s missing 6 of its eyes and 4 of its legs are just plain gone. So creepy. And it pops up at the weirdest moments. Then – whoop — it bolts away. Almost like its more scared of me than I am of it! LOL. I’m just praying that it doesn’t start breeding, if you know what I mean…”

Meanwhile, my deadline is ticking away. I have to finish this re-write by the end of next week. We’re wondering how on earth that is going to happen.  And I don’t mean because I have to keep stopping and checking where the spider is.  I mean that I have so much other stuff I gotta do.  But that said, I suppose I should get off of the blog and go get back to the script! It doesn’t re-write itself, as we know so well by now.

Okay! Happy Monday!! Hope you’ve got a great week ahead of you, gang.  Thanks for visiting. See ya!

Hang in there, baby! It's almost Friday!
Hang in there, baby! It’s almost Friday!