Tag Archives: writing

No reason why this shouldn’t be me today!

But, man, life just keeps getting so fucking weird that I never really know if I’m having a good day until it’s, like, basically over.

However.

So far, today is seeming pretty good. It’s sunny. I have the day to myself. The only thing on the “List of Things to Do” besides yoga and washing my hair, is, of course (always) this:

Oops! Excuse me. Of course, I meant this:

Oh! Shoot!! Sorry. No, I meant THIS:

Yes. This.

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Yesterday was, overall, sort of lovely.

My favorite 95-year-old Japanese man is now very aware that Annie has died. And he’s sad but handling it very well. We had a good day together, and early tomorrow morning, I’m heading over there to help him get into his suit and tie in order to go to the funeral.

He said about 7 times yesterday that he doesn’t want to go to the funeral. But we’ll see what happens in the morning, when his stepson comes by to get him.

Meanwhile, his daughter has requested that I be the new primary contact person for her dad, now that she’s back in Seattle.

The Agency asked me how I felt about that and, obviously, I said “okay”, since it all landed in my lap anyway, when Annie suddenly went into the coma and then died. (And then I suddenly had to find out who/where his Primary Care Doctor was and go to the office and explain what had happened and who I was; then find out where he got his prescriptions filled and go pick them up; and find out who and where his favorite barber is; and then find someone to cut his lawn this summer because the boy who did it last summer moved away; and then go to the grocery store, and then, you know, go to the grocery store, and then, yesterday, yes, go back to the grocery store….)

All the stuff Annie always did. For 8 years…

Anyway.

Of course I will do it.

But I also have a new novel coming out and I’m trying to find people who will give the book an advance review online, and trying to get my profile updated on the various social media sites. And get that weekly mini-podcast underway and launched with my best friend Valerie in Brooklyn, who desperately needs a new iPhone and who always seems to be at the dentist’s. And Sandra & I have a play that has a Staged Reading Off-Broadway in NYC in November. And we might or might not be writing a new TV pilot this summer — we don’t know yet.

While I’m also taking care of 17 love-filled, happy cats…

So I feel a little overwhelmed…

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However!

Tomorrow, after I get my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man into his suit and tie, I’ll be heading over to the old train station to get my review copy back from Wendy and then– !!

Having lunch there with my friend Steve!! The guy I’ve been friends with since we were 11 years old, and who has texted me sort of repeatedly for the last 5 months, wanting to know when we can go out to lunch again…

So tomorrow is finally the day and that will be nice.

Having lunch with the only person left on Earth who’s known me since I was 11.

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And then this morning, for God only knows what reason, I found myself suddenly thinking:

ME (suddenly thinking): I should go to Columbus more often. Go to the theater and see more plays….

WTF???

You know, where did that come from??? Did it have something to do with that dream I had the other night, that I had moved back into my old house and was really happy???

I have no fucking idea.

Me, when I have no fucking idea.

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Okay.

Meanwhile!!

I am watching this movie on Netflix and LOVING it!! (It’s in Swedish and French, with nothing but tons of subtitles so my eyes get a little tired, but I love it!)

“Je m’appelle Agneta”:

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And here’s this!

Keith! At Redlands, in 1966:

And Keith! Not at Redlands, and not in 1966!

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And here’s this!!

“The Weeping Song” from 1990, because I love this video and because I’ve been listening to The Good Son album a lot lately (such a great album):

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And I think I’ll close this with that. (And NO! I’m not going to say: “I can ‘t believe this video is 36 fucking years old already… where is the fucking time going??”)

I’m just going to leave it. With no comment about TIME.

And get on with my day.

Maybe hop in the car and drive all the way to fucking Columbus and see a play…

Meanwhile!

Enjoy your Thursday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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I leave you with this!

My making-the-bed music from this morning!

From Keith’s 2015 album, Crosseyed Heart, his version of the classic, “Goodnight Irene.” Enjoy, gang.

Almost sort of back to normal

Okay, well, today I’m heading out to see my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man and it will be the first time I’m seeing him since he found out from his daughter that Annie died.

I’m sort of expecting him to be mostly okay with it, since he has a firm belief that: a.) everyone’s spirits live on; and b.) he believes we all go to a better place when we die.

His daughter has already left for the airport to fly back home this morning. So, we will soon see how today goes.

And Friday, my shift with him has been totally turned around. I need to get to his house by 7:30AM, and help him get into his suit and tie . His stepson from Florida will be picking him up at 8:30AM to take him to the funeral.

So, yes, I’ll be driving for an hour, total, to help him for one hour. And then after that, the new normal without Annie in our lives will officially begin.

But, I will have the rest of Friday off. So that’s, you know, I guess nice.

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On Saturday, I’m heading back to this lovely place:

The Historic Arcade

To drop off a review copy of The Curse of Our Profound Disorder for Kevin at his beautiful gallery there:

Even though we’re both kinda thinking the novel will be too extreme for his tastes, too, he wants to at least try to read it, which I appreciate!! So we shall see. But it gives me a great reason to go back to that really beautiful Historic Arcade in downtown Newark.

It is, of course, sort of mystifying to me that I’ve apparently written a novel that a lot of people can’t handle — even my best friend Valerie in Brooklyn gave up on it because she was afraid it was going to give her bad dreams. And Wendy only finished the book because she was trying to be a good friend to me.

But I think back to 1999, when my first book, Neptune & Surf, was just coming out and Barnes & Noble (at first) refused to carry it because of the novella in it, called “Gianni’s Girl”.

But then they changed their minds when The Guardian newspaper in London chose the book as one of their Top 10 Summer Reads that year.

When I had first completed writing “Gianni’s Girl,” I was so thrilled with what I had achieved, I immediately stuck the story in a manila envelope and mailed it downtown to my good friend, (the late) Holly Lane.

She read it and then called me and said, “What the fuck did I just read??? First, they’re bringing in a Great Dane, next it’s an incredible love story?? You have totally fucked with my head!” And then later, out on the street together one night, she said, “You know you’re a sociopath, right?” (Actually, I didn’t know.)

But N&S eventually came out in 6 editions — including trade paper, mass market, Book-of-the-Month hardcover, eBook, and 2 French editions. (And is now in the Internet Archive for eternity.)

And then I think about that French podcast I stumbled upon in the Archive the other day, wherein the podcaster said :

“… I would say the author possesses a gift for sweeping you away, for immersing you in the world she portrays. Yes, for she tells tales of worlds—of entire eras.”

And she was including “Gianni’s Girl,” which takes place among violent Chicago bootleggers in the 1920s.

So, you know, I guess you just gotta go with what comes out of your head and hits the page, and hope that, down the line, you’ll find that there was a reason for it, overall.

Oh, I do have to add that the guy in NYC who’s reading a review copy, is almost done reading the book and, so far, he’s still really liking the book.

So, don’t forget that you can pre-order it, in eBook or print, HERE if you’re interested in seeing if you can handle it or not…

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Okay, here’s this!!

Two guitar heroes — Steve Vai and Joe Satriani — are once again on tour together!!

From Minneapolis the other night:

Joe Satriani and Steve Vai
Steve Vai

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Here’s Keith and Patti (early 80s?) having what might be a pizza together?? Hard to tell, it’s tiny!

And I loved this!!

Perhaps they had Keith under constant surveillance, you know, after he’d famously woken up one night in his hotel bed in Florida, put a riff down quickly on a tape recorder, then passed right out again — and later, what he’d composed in his sleep, basically, became the Stones first huge monster mega hit, “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction”!!

Will Keith do it again??

Here’s this, while we’re at it!!

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And here’s this!!

Warren Ellis, ready for his close-up at the Met Gala!! (I think a day late, but I’m not positive!!)

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And a couple of beautiful shots of Nick Cave onstage. I don’t know when, where, or photos-by-whom, but I love them!!

I think this one is in Croatia, actually, but I’m not positive. And I think the photographer’s name is down in the corner.

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And that is it for now!!

I guess I’m gonna get ready to head to town and find out just what this day is gonna bring.

Have a wonder-filled Wednesday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys, See ya!

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Let’s close with these!

You can pre-order Foreign Tongues, the upcoming new album by the Rolling Stones, HERE!! Enjoy, gang!

“In the Stars”:

“Rough and Twisted”:

Sorry I’m Late!

It’s Primary Election Day here in Ohio, so I had to go out and do that thing.

But I am back!

I don’t know if it’s just me, gang, but things feel so weird today.

For one thing, I had so many vivid dreams last night. Like someone was trying really, really hard to tell me something.

In one dream, I was in the house I owned about 10 years ago. I was unpacking and moving back in. And I was really happy about it, but it was as if I was returning there from having been in a sort of coma.

All the cats were there and happy I was back. And then at one point, an official sort of woman — don’t know how to describe her — brought in my Aunt Sylvia, my Great Aunt Gertrude, and my grandfather!!

All of these relatives have been dead for a really long time. But they were all really happy to be back and I was so happy to see them. (They were from my adoptive maternal side of the family.)

In another dream, I literally could not keep my eyelids open and I was going around doing important stuff (including driving on the freeway) with my eyes shut — trying really hard to lift my eyelids so that I could see.

But there was a lot more to the dreams than that, and all of it was totally lucid dreaming. Not something I’ve done in a really long time. So that, in itself, felt really strange.

But I did get the impression, when all the dreams were over, that I’ve been “asleep in the dream of life” for a few years or something and I’m trying to wake up again.

However — wasn’t it sort of like this image I posted yesterday??? About letting anxiety take a back seat for awhile?? Too weird!!

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Okay. Anyway.

I voted. I have the day off. I’m not super happy about losing all that money for today — Tuesdays are good money days for me. But I’ve decided that I will try to just stay relaxed (that’s my new “idea” — to relax). And have a good day.

We’re gonna see how that goes.

I just feel so fucking strange.

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Okay. Did you visit the Rolling Stones web site yet??

It’s too fun. It opens with a “studio surveillance system” — you click on the various cameras and get grainy black & white footage of the Stones in the studio, making the new album. Some of the cameras “don’t work.”

Anyway. It’s fun. And then you can also enter the main web site.

Tonight, Mick Jagger is going to be on late night TV, I guess introducing the new single from the upcoming album. Methinks I will not be awake, but I feel pretty certain I will get bombarded with it all over Instagram tomorrow morning…

Meanwhile, here’s this!

From 60 years ago… the original Rolling Stones:

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NewFest Pride announced their film line-up that will launch Pride Month in NYC.

There will be big outdoor screenings, but if you no longer live anywhere near NYC — you can get a virtual pass, and watch the films online.

There are many different options for purchasing passes to the screenings and parties and Q&A’s in NYC HERE.

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And by accident, last night I re-listened to chapters 12 -17 of The Dharma Bums on YouTube! I was listening to something else and trying to skip the ad, when it suddenly took me to a totally different video that I had listened to several months ago.

But I was quietly very happy with this twist of fate! I love that book. (Chapters 12 -17):

And I think maybe it was Jack, once again helping me make peace with the ever-upcoming release of The Curse of Our Profound Disorder and how it will likely be a book that won’t sit well with people….

Jack’s spirit is really good at helping me come to terms with that.

Jack Kerouac in Greenwich Village, NYC — looks like late 1940s or early 1950s.

I did get a really wonderful text from Wendy yesterday, saying she had finished reading the novel. It was difficult for her to get through (see yesterday’s post), but she liked how everything was resolved in the end.

And she also said: “If you don’t have a book launch, how will people know the book is out?”

Which, obviously, is a very good point…

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Okay. Well, on a somewhat different note!

Here’s this! So similar to yesterday!

Keith, drinking Jack Daniels onstage!

And so here’s the follow up to what I alluded to yesterday about my dad’s parenting skills in 1972:

I was 12, and closed up in my bedroom, as usual. I was always closed up in there, listening to music or playing my guitar and writing songs.

My dad came in and told me that my grandmother (his mother) had just called to tell him that Karen and I had been drinking whiskey and smoking cigarettes.

ME: “How’d she know about that?”

HE (laughing but trying hard not to show it): “You mean it’s true?”

ME: “Yeah. But how’d she know?”

HE: “She saw you. You weren’t doing a very good job of trying to hide it. Do you even like whiskey?!”

ME: “No, but Karen does.”

And then my dad went on to tell me that I was too young to drink whiskey and smoke cigarettes, and that if I was going to keep on doing it, I better try harder to not get caught.

HE: “If you do get caught again, then I’m gonna look like I can’t control my own daughter. And then I’m gonna get angry.”

It is sufficient to say that, forever after, I tried really hard not to get caught drinking whiskey and smoking cigarettes… the rest of the stuff I got up to, not so much.

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All righty!

And here’s this!

Nick Cave in Berlin, 1986! Similar, but different! (I think I posted this one not too long ago, but it came up again today!)

And this!!

Nick and Blixa in the 80s!! Yay! (Apparently having no trouble at all keeping their eyes open…)

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And with that, I should close this, because the morning is almost gone around here.

Have a terrific Tuesday, wherever you are in the world, gang.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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Let’s close with this.

Morning-listening music!!

From Full Moon Fever, Tom Petty’s totally addictive “The Apartment Song”!! 1989. Enjoy, gang.

Welcome to a Sunny Monday in the Hinterlands!

Just a gorgeous day, here, gang.

So sunny. A totally blue sky. And going up into the 70s Fahrenheit.

I am definitely going to take a walk — go to the post office and mail my birth mom’s Mother’s Day card. Then walk over to the Dollar Store and — yes! Buy more coffee!

WTF?? Didn’t I just do that? Perhaps I should look into buying a larger can…

The laundry is almost done (it’s my day off) and I’ll probably do some of this today:

And I have absolutely 100% decided that the short story needs to be a novella, so the deadline for that is no longer an issue. I’m not sure what I’ll work on today, but it won’t be that.

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I touched base with my dear friend Wendy yesterday, to see if she was making progress reading the review copy of The Curse of Our Profound Disorder, which I gave to her almost 2 weeks ago.

We knew it was going to be a tough read for her — she’s a sort of straight-laced Jehovah’s Witness. She’s had a very different kind of life than I’ve had. (Although, oddly enough — we’d known each other for about 6 years out here in the Hinterlands, before we discovered that we’d both gone to the same high school — over in Columbus!! But separated by about 8 years. How weird is that?)

Anyway.

She is indeed having trouble with the book. It’s very intense. But she is determined to read it through to the end.

Which I really appreciate. But it brought back those feelings that doing a book launch around here might not be the best idea.

But I guess I’ll wait and see how it goes. The book doesn’t come out until September.

(Oh! And if you enjoy the heck out of intense fiction, you can pre-order it HERE!)

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Well, for the first time in a couple of weeks, I sort of “woke up” at around 3AM, thinking about my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man, but this time, I felt a wave of relief instead of that nagging anxiety!

His daughter arrived last evening, so she’s there with him now. Plus, knowing that he isn’t going to be put into a nursing home anytime soon…

It was just a great feeling of relief. So here’s hoping the free-floating anxiety factor can take a backseat in my life for a while.

Me, in the front seat… for a while

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I did indeed start re-watching “20,000 Days On Earth” last evening and I am so glad I did! There is just so much about that film that I had forgotten. I probably haven’t watched it in about 6 or 7 years. (I’m not going to get into that “where did the fucking time go???” business again… we’ll just re-watch it and enjoy it!!)

So I am trying to sort of just relax around here.

I’m waiting to hear from Sandra regarding any work that still needs doing on “”The Guide to Being Fabulous” — the play is already done, we just need to sort of get it staged on paper by November.

And the TV project proposal is on hold until at least the end of June.

So, really, I need to just make myself relax and in a sort of non-anxiety way, decide what I want to focus on in the meantime. (For instance — maybe pull the weeds from the rose garden since it’s so pretty outside today?? Then consider finally actually beginning the writing of my memoir of the 1970s!!)

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Okay.

Here’s this!

What could be better than a couple of photos from Phyllis Stein??

Richard Hell at CBGBs in 1978!

Photo by Eileen Polk

And Johnny Thunders enroute to LA from NYC in 1973!!!!

Photo by Bob Gruen

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And here’s this!!

Keith with a bottle of Jack Daniels!!

And for the record, I would like to add that — NO! — Keith did not introduce me to Jack Daniels. That honor belonged to a Jewish girl named Karen that I was friends with when we were 12.

Her parents loved Jack Daniels and she lived a couple of houses away from a house where I used to babysit all the time.

One night, Karen stole a fifth of JD from her parents and then hid it in the bushes of that house where I was babysitting, even though I told her not to! But she did it anyway.

And the following day, she retrieved the bottle from the bushes, concealed it in the basket on her bike, and then brought it over to my house, to keep it stashed in my bedroom!

Okay. Whatever. She liked drinking Jack Daniels. I had never had it before. I tried it and really liked the aroma and the flavor of it, but it burned like hell going down.

So the fifth just sat there in my closet, so that she could drink it whenever she came over. (And Karen also introduced me to smoking cigarettes…)

But anyway.

That was the beginning of me and whiskey…. I’ll regale you with the rest of the story of Karen & the 5th of JD another day. It will tell you all you need to know about my dad’s parenting skills in 1972 and why I always preferred his skills over my mother’s…

A version of me in 1972. Or at least, my mind in 1972…

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I digress!!

Here’s Keith and Anita and Marlon, in France in 1971!

Photo by Michael Cooper

And a serene sort of photo of Keith onstage somewhere with a Flying V!

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And your guess is as good as mine with this one, gang!

What is Nick Cave holding here?? A gun? A microphone? Something else?? I just don’t know!!

And I love this photo!

His hair. The cigarette. The arch above him. Just the whole feel of it!

Nick Cave, with big hair, a cigarette, and an arch above him:

And I also love this. Something about the jacket…

Nick Cave, onstage in a striped jacket!

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And that is it.

Well, the Agency just texted that my shift for tomorrow is cancelled; the clients will be at doctors’ appointments all day. So now I have two days to figure out what I want to do.

I will begin the thinking process by finishing the laundry and then heading out for that walk.

Enjoy your Monday wherever you are in the world, gang.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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Let’s close with this — if you have an hour and a half.

This stuff is very illuminating, gang.

From Ross K. Nichols Sunday School yesterday:

“Many of humanity’s most ancient stories share a tale as old as time itself: the account of one righteous man, specially chosen to save the human race from a catastrophic flood that nearly ended all life on earth. We know him as Noah in the Hebrew Bible, the Christian New Testament, and the Koran, but other ancient peoples also preserved versions of this man’s story….”

Knowing Noah: The Man Behind the Myths (1 hr 31 mins):

My new “go to” when the brain is trying to surface!!

For some reason, I just love that ad (above). The energy of it. And it reminds me of all the times I’ve made great progress — here at this very desk, in this very Old House — writing.

A not-so-long-ago time of my life that I want to return to now at all times

I never actually smoked Pall Malls, although my parents did in our first house in Cleveland. Then they switched to Larks:

And of course Eddie Van Halen (or at least his guitar) famously smoked Pall Malls:

And my birth mom still smokes Pall Malls, which is why there was a pack of them that I found in a kitchen drawer in this old house, several years ago, when I was craving an unlit cigarette that I could snap the filter off of and then sit with at my desk, and write….

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Wait!

First of all, I have to say THIS:

I did get a text from my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man’s daughter yesterday and she is not — AT THIS TIME — planning to put him in a nursing home!!! Those plans are on hold, sort of indefinitely.

Yay!!

Which means that many more tiny vodka cocktails are in our (his) future!!

Yesterday, his wooden leg was being wonky again so we didn’t go out for sashimi & sake (he’s getting a brand new leg on Tuesday). And late in my shift, he was sort of staring at the little end table next to his recliner, where upon there were 2 unopened bottles of protein drinks, some Greek yogurt, an organic ham sandwich, and a little bowl of organic non-GMO potato chips…and the little framed photo of his dad in Tokyo in 1957.

ME: “Are you looking for something?”

HE: “A gallon of vodka.”

So I promptly went to the fridge and got him about an ounce of the Smirnoff pre-mixed cocktail thingie that he loves. And he was delighted.

He also had great mental clarity yesterday, although, sadly, it was about his private nurse:

HE: “What’s going on with Annie? Is she still in the hospital?”

His daughter will be telling him the sad news later today, so I just said that I didn’t know. But I was so relieved that he remembered her name and that she’s been gone for a couple of weeks now.

So, overall, it was a great day but emotionally, I was still worn out.

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Okay.

Here’s this!

I was lying in bed this morning with my coffee. A few of the cats were on the bed with me, happily dozing. The sun was up and it was a beautiful Sunday morning.

Then I heard something clutter to the floor, so I sat up in bed and disturbed all the furry slumberers. But discovered that Calico had selected some reading materials for us from the bookshelf!!

Princess perusing our reading materials for today, selected by Calico.

The Stoned Apocalypse, an erotic classic about the 1960s by Marco Vassi, 1993 edition from Masquerade Books.

The Sick Bag Song by Nick Cave, hard cover, 2014 (and I was, you know, absolutely stunned that this book has been out for 12 years already. Christ. Where does the fucking time go??? But what a great book.)

And the navy blue book is a journal that I bought at the Kirtland Temple in 2018, when I was friends with 2 wonderful young Mormon missionaries. Two blonde girls, from out-of-State.

Original Mormon church from the 1830s, near Cleveland

The Kirtland Temple was incredible, btw. I am so glad I went there. But I forgot that I even had this journal. I opened it and on the inside cover, I’d written that Gus Van Sant, Sr. had died on Jan. 13, 2022. And I had also scribbled the Portuguese chorus from Nick Cave’s stunning song “Foi Na Cruz”.

In the actual journal, on the opening page, I’d written “January 2, 2020” but the entry itself is torn out.

And then the next page is from January 6, 2022, and it is one line from the poem “You, Dr. Martin” by Anne Sexton:

From breakfast to madness

And the rest of the journal that I’d forgotten I even had is totally blank!

And then as I was putting the books back on the bookshelf, right next to where the forgotten journal had been sitting was a composition theme notebook, so I pulled that out and discovered it was filled with all sorts of notes from plays and screenplays I was working on in 2014!!

Oh my god! So many incredible backstory notes for “Cleveland’s Burning” — a TV pilot that was in development forever with Bohemia Group Originals out in LA, until it came to a screeching halt with the scamdemic.

And then — I am not exagerrating (although I am misspelling “exaggerating”) — there were amazing scribbled notes for my in-progress play about the historical Jesus — “The Gospel According to Caiaphas”!! A play that is heavily influenced by Tom Stoppard’s 1967 masterpiece, “Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead.”

Crap, you know??? When am I going to get all this stuff done??

I’m guessing there are no amount of Pall Malls in the world that can give me actual TIME, but once I get the time, here’s hoping they will still be manufacturing Pall Malls.

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Well, okay.

Other interesting news– apparently my press release for the upcoming release of my forever-in-progress-but-finally-published novel The Curse of Our Profound Disorder, was also picked up by the Columbus Dispatch!!

Yes!! The main newspaper of the city of my rather un-illustrious birth to a 13-year-old Pall Mall-smoking girl!!

Wow. I was kinda stunned to see that. But I figured, you know, my feelings about Columbus and all the terrible things that happened to me there aside, I should probably send that newspaper a review copy…

What it looks like when I get an idea

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Okay.

I do have to get some stuff done around here before I head out to see the retired Minister and his wife and lovely cat.

So, here’s this!!

Bob Dylan!! Photographed by Bent Raj at Kronborg Castle in Elsinore, May 1st, 1966. Smoking! In black & white!

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And here’s this!!

2 of my intensely influential literary influences, together in Greenwich Village, NYC, in 1969!!

Patti Smith and Jim Carroll, on Minetta Street!!

(A street that became my stomping ground in 1982. There was a very small folk club there that’s gone now, but I used to hang out there all the time. In fact, the very first time I played “She Ain’t No Virgin At All” — alone with my guitar, I had just written the song the night before — was in that little club on Minetta Street. AND! In 1984, when I brought the demo of the song to the songwriting class I was taking with Jim Carroll at the West Side Y, and he played the tape in class, he said: “I have no advice for this. This song is perfect.” Below is that demo.)

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And here’s Keith smiling onstage, in a blue shirt!

And Keith onstage in 1975 (that Holy Year of Our Lord), in a mostly red shirt!

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And as luck would have it–

I was looking through all the movies I have in my Amazon Prime account last evening, and when I came upon “20,000 Days On Earth” — the Nick Cave film from, yes, 2014!! — which I’ve watched about 3 times, but it’s been a while since I last watched it, and I was thinking that I’d really like to watch that again…

Anyway, this still from one of my favorite scenes from that film was in my hashtag feed on Instagram this morning!

Methinks I’ll probably start watching it again tonight!

And here’s this!!

Nick Cave in the wind in Hamburg, 2024!!

Soon enough, it will be 2036, and I’ll see this photo again and I’ll think: Fuck, that was 12 years ago!! Where is the fucking time going??!!

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And with that, I think I will close and get stuff done before I have to head to town.

Enjoy your Sunday, gang, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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Let’s close with this!

I kid you not, gang, when this song came on the Oldies FM Radio Station on the retro boombox as I was making my bed this morning and was singing loudly along to the chorus, the cats came prancing in with their tails up high and they just seemed so frisky and happy. I think they really liked the feel of the chorus to this wonderful song!!

From 1984, by Jon Parr, “St. Elmo’s Fire (Man in Motion)”. Theme song from the movie, “St. Elmo’s Fire.” Enjoy, gang!! We sure did!!


“St. Elmo’s Fire (Man In Motion)”

Growin’ up
You don’t see the writing on the wall
Passin’ by
Movin’ straight ahead, you knew it all

But maybe sometime if you feel the pain
You’ll find you’re all alone
Everything has changed

Play the game
You know you can’t quit until it’s won
Soldier on
Only you can do what must be done

You know in some way
You’re a lot like me
You’re just a prisoner
And you’re tryin’ to break free

I can see a new horizon
Underneath the blazin’ sky
I’ll be where the eagle’s flyin’
Higher and higher

Gonna be your man in motion
All I need’s this pair of wheels
Take me where the future’s lyin’
St. Elmo’s Fire, ooh

Burnin’ up
Don’t know just how far that I can go (Just how far I go)
Soon be home
Only just a few miles down the road

I can make it
I know I can
You broke the boy in me
But you won’t break the man

I can see a new horizon
Underneath the blazin’ sky
I’ll be where the eagle’s flyin’
Higher and higher

Gonna be your man in motion
All I need’s this pair of wheels
Take me where my future’s lyin’
St. Elmo’s Fire

I can climb the highest mountain
Cross the wildest sea
I can feel St. Elmo’s Fire
Burnin’ in me, burnin’ in me

Just once in his life
A man has his time
And my time is now
I’m comin’ alive

I can hear the music playin’
I can see the banners fly
Feel like your man again
And hope ridin’ high

Gonna be your man in motion
All I need’s this pair of wheels
Take me where my future’s lyin’
St. Elmo’s Fire

I can see a new horizon
Underneath the blazin’ sky
I’ll be where the eagle’s flyin’
Higher and higher

Gonna be your man in motion
All I need’s this pair of wheels
Take me where the future’s lyin’
St. Elmo’s Fire

I can climb the highest mountain
Cross the wildest sea
I can feel St. Elmo’s Fire burnin’ in me

Burnin’
Burnin’ in me
I can feel it burnin’
Ooh, burnin’ inside of me

c – 1984 Jon Stephen Parr

Hoping this is on the horizon today!

The weather is very sunny today but still really cold.

Nevertheless, my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man and I decided yesterday to go out for sashimi & sake today. Now that his private nurse is gone, he hasn’t been out for lunch since he and I went to the golf course last Friday.

When I’m around him, it’s easy to get my energy into a good place and keep things upbeat and happy, so I’m looking forward to going out with him today if he feels up to it. But I have to say, gang, that on a deep level, it feels to me like everything has changed.

The feeling of loss is like a blanket over everything in that house now. He knows something is missing but he doesn’t know what. He also knows that something big in his life has changed forever. He doesn’t remember his private nurse’s name, or who she was, or anything like that — he only knows that there was a girl who used to come see him but that she had to go to the hospital.

His daughter is going to tell him everything when she sees him in person, tomorrow.

Since his daughter has been texting me the last couple of days about her upcoming trip, I finally decided to just text her this morning and ask her if she’s planning to put her dad into a nursing home soon. I want to start getting the hanging flower baskets for his back deck, but it’s a lot of money to spend if he won’t be there much longer.

We’ll see what she replies. But I’m thinking that I already know what she’s going to say.

*************

On a happier front…

It looks like Rasha’s mom and her little baby will be staying here, to take care of Rasha and all the other cats, while I’m in NYC.

This is such a relief to me. I’ve been worried that all these cats now — including Rasha, who is still unwell — will be too much for my birth mom to really handle, even though she’s happy to do it. (My birth mom is 79 now.)

I feel so much better about this arrangement, though. Because the girl knows full well that Rasha is sick, since Rasha is her cat. It’s not going to be any sort of unhappy surprise for her.

And I also talked to a friend of mine yesterday about her and her husband staying here the last weekend of September, when I go to North Carolina for James Tabor’s conference thingie. They had offered to cat-sit before, so she’s thinking they probably will.

And by September, Rasha’s mom should be in her own place and able to take Rasha back. So that is potentially another huge relief.

Now all I want is for my birth mom to just come out here and visit for a few days, just to hang out again. To smoke and drink beer (her, not me).

What I would really like her to do at this point is answer her phone... she’s not a really big phone-answering kinda gal.

**************

Anyway.

So there’s good stuff going on and sad stuff going on. But meanwhile, here’s this!

If you’re too young to know that Patti Hansen used to be not only a top super model in the late 70s, early 80s, she also had a reputation for being a real party girl!! (To me, she always just seemed like a down-to-earth girl from Staten Island.) It did not surprise me a bit that Keith fell in love with her.

Anyway! Here they are in 1981, and Patti does not seem to be in any way intoxicated!!

And here’s this!

Keith smoking in 1972, maybe overdoing the guitar thing a little bit…

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And here’s this!

Nick Cave!

I’m thinking “just out of the shower” but not 100% sure:

I’m also thinking the reason my really cool Tom Petty zippo lighter has not arrived yet is because they sent it to Nick Cave!! (Not 100% sure on that, either, just thinkin’…)

**********

And that’s it.

I guess I better get moving here and plan on having a great day, come what may!

Enjoy your Saturday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

*********

Let’s close with this!

Something else that reminds me of the old New York…with the old skyline and everything.

“The Critic” is also free now on Tubi!! I loved this show. I’d forgotten all about it! (From 1994-95.) Enjoy, gang.

A happy May Day to one and all!

If you are a long-time reader of this lofty blog, you no doubt recall that, in honor of Elvis’s marriage to Priscilla, Wayne and I also got married on May 1st!! (Elvis’s wedding day, about 25 years earlier.) (And we walked down the aisle to “Hawaiian Wedding Song” from Elvis’s movie, “Blue Hawaii”.)

So here’s this!

33 years ago today! When I was still very much a brunette and Wayne still had all his hair! (The bride & groom decoration on top of the cake was from my maternal adoptive grandparents’ 50th Wedding Anniversary cake in 1977. I still have it.) (The decoration, not the cake.)

************

Wow, gang, so yesterday was another incredible day for me.

I discovered that on the Internet Archives, they have now added both the Masquerade Books 1st trade edition and the Blue Moon mass market 1st edition of Neptune & Surf!!

This just thrills me, gang, because now not only can you read Neptune & Surf online for FREE (these are not eBooks, these are the pages of the actual books), my beloved first book will also live on sort of indefinitely for all time.

You can find them HERE.

And FYI, Internet Archives currently has 6 of my books in the archives that you can read for free. Plus a few erotica anthologies that have some of my stories in them.

But this next part almost blew me away even more yesterday — and it can be found at the same link.

It’s a podcast from France, in French –it was uploaded to the Archive July 1, 2017 — where the podcaster discusses the 2nd French edition of Neptune & Surf.

The 2nd edition was titled, Sex In America [<– AmazonUS link] and was published by La Musardine, Paris, in 2011.

Her beautiful forward to the podcast reads:

Sex in America, mon coup de coeur du moment ! Non vraiment, mon seul regret c’est que l’autrice n’ait pas écrit beaucoup car perso, je lis sans hésiter n’importe quel autre de ses ouvrages. Alors pourquoi ce coup de coeur ? L’écriture me plaît, comment la décrire … Je dirais que l’autrice a l’art de vous emmener, de vous immerger dans le monde qu’elle raconte. Oui, car elle raconte des mondes, des époques.

Translation: "Sex in America, my current favorite! No, really—my only regret is that the author hasn’t written very much, because personally, I would read any of her other works without hesitation. So, why did this one capture my heart? I love the writing style—how to describe it? I would say the author possesses a gift for sweeping you away, for immersing you in the world she portrays. Yes, for she tells tales of worlds—of entire eras."

Honestly, it just blew me away. And the podcast has already been streamed in the Archives 7,566 times!!

And it’s been up there for 9 years already. In French, no less!

And I just had absolutely no clue until I found it yesterday, basically by accident.

*************

Okay.

On a totally different topic.

From James Tabor yeseterday:

“In this video I invite you to join me in an interactive test of when and how AI can go wrong dealing with Historical Research.”

When AI Gets History Wrong (33 mins):

**************

All righty!!

Here’s this!

A great shot of Roy Orbison in a UK hotel, in 1964!

And here’s this! I love this song! But who doesn’t?? “Only the Lonely”, 1960:

***********

And I guess since it’s May Day, all my hashtag streams on Instagram updated because there were a ton of photos on there that I hadn’t seen before!!

But first, here’s this!

***********

A couple of gorgeous shots of Keith!!

By Annie Leibovitz, 1975:

In NY, 1988:

And a photo by Fernando Aceves, 1995:

************

And some great ones of Nick Cave, which I’ve actually seen before but they haven’t popped up in my stream in, like, years.

Nick in Paris, April, 1997:

Photo by Phil Nicholls

Nick in April, 1992:

And Nick Cave, more recently, but I don’t know the actual year:

Photo by Mario Cinquetti

************

And with that….

I will add before closing and heading to town, I did spend a good amount of time on the short story yesterday. I did not finish it, because now I’m not sure if I want it to be a short story or a novella.

I just don’t know. I don’t think it’s working as a short story.

But I still have a few more days to work with it and maybe make it work as a short story, assuming I can get time to focus on it before the deadline.

I guess we’ll see.

And today, I’m back with my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man, but now I have stuff to do that the private nurse used to do: pick up his prescription at the pharmacy, and get his hearing aid batteries, and also locate the office of his primary care physician, which I know is near the hospital but that’s all I know.

If he doesn’t want to run these errands with me and wait in the car (it’s cold today and sort of rainy), I’ll go by myself. If he does want to come with me then we’ll go have sashimi & sake after the errands and behave like our old selves!! We shall see.

Meanwhile, have a great First of May, wherever you are in the world!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

************

Let’s close with this!!

I now have Tom Jones’ fantastic album, Reload, from 1999, in my retro boombox next to my bed!!

So now I regale you with what me and the cats have been digging the heck out of in the mornings while we make the bed!!

“Sexbomb” (with Mousse T.) So much FUN. Enjoy, gang!!

Hoping it’s this kind of day!!!

Yes! An unlit Pall Mall (aka “fake Chesterfield”) with it’s filter mercilessly snapped off!!

And me, sitting at my desk!!

It means I’m focused and getting some writing done!!

(Me, not smoking at my desk, back in 2019!!)

You can tell this is an old photo because I don’t have gouges on my chin curtesy of my delightful cat!!

Meanwhile–

I was going to disturb you last night with the following happy update, but I decided to wait until this morning, when you were awake–

1954 Powder Blue Pickup reached #25 in Historical Erotica last night!!

The sale is indeed over today, and so the eBook no longer has “sales rankings”. (Darn it.)

However, I still have access to the sales reports and I want to continue to THANK YOU!! –because it keeps on selling!!!

Yay!!!

She is just being used as a visual emphasis. Not only is she too young to read yet, she’s way too young to read 1954 Powder Blue Pickup! Nevertheless, she’s still really happy because she knows it’s waiting for her in her happy future…

**********

Okay.

Things continue to be a little strange with my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man. His daughter texted me at his house yesterday, letting me know she was not going to be able to call him and will tell him, in person on Sunday, about his nurse being in a coma and near-death.

Meanwhile, we decided that it would be best coming from her, so I haven’t said anything to him. Still, he knows something is off. He knows he hasn’t seen the nurse in a while, that she’s been sick, but that’s about all he can process. He can’t even remember her name now.

I still get the feeling the daughter is planning to put him in a nursing home, but she hasn’t said anything to me about it.

I have sort of released my desire to somehow make everything go differently in this. It’s really the only way I can handle anything and still act like everything is okay when I’m around him.

Taking it the proverbial one day at a time. Just being in the here & now with him. And just being his friend. And when I gave him his little vodka cocktail yesterday, he told me again that he loved me and again, he said, “Thank you for showing me what a wonderful life I’ve had.”

And then he also added: “The spirit is more alive than the physical.”

So I think something’s up, but I have to just let life and/or death happen.

*********

All righty!

I don’t want to tarry here, because I want to finish writing that nearly-finished short story today.

So let’s get to the “here’s this’s”!

Here’s this!!

From the Franz Kafka Museum.

And I have to say that I have read everything he ever wrote, including every collection of letters he wrote that were posthumously published and which are all staggering and amazingly honest. And most of his stories and novels were published by his friends after he died (he was only 40 when he died from tuberculosis, and he was not a well-known writer yet). I just love this man’s beautifully neurotic mind; but the whole idea of anything being “Kafkaesque” did not come into being until long after he died. And we would not have ever known his work if his friends hadn’t stepped in and ignored his wishes at the end.

***********

And here’s this!

Sun Studios!! The birth place of rock & roll records!!

************

And here’s this!!

Some rare finds, indeed!

Keith, smoking while holding a guitar!

From NYC 1975 — only a handful of weeks before I got to see the Rolling Stones onstage in Cleveland for the first time!!

And some other place, some other time (1988)!!

Photo by Neal Preston

*************

Okay.

Nick Cave sent out another one of those Red Hand Files yesterday, wherein he answers many readers questions with “irreverent answers”! (I’m guessing he is hard at work on writing those new song lyrics and can’t really spend time right now on lengthy replies!!)

Anyway, this wasn’t necessarily my favorite question, but I identified with the reply a lot!!

Q: “On the song ‘Carnage’, there is a lyric ‘sitting on the balcony reading Flannery O’Connor with a pencil and a plan’, that really resonates with me. Now I am reading Flannery O’Connor. Any more recommendations?”

A: “If you are reading Flannery O’Connor, be sure to read her short story A Good Man is Hard to Find. If you enjoy Flannery O’Connor, read William Faulkner – As I Lay Dying is a great place to begin.”

I adore Flannery O’Connor!! And that short story is a really great one. A couple of years ago, while I was vacuuming, I noticed that on one of my bookshelves, Flannery O’Connor’s short story collection is right next to Nick Cave’s novel And the Ass Saw the Angel!! So I have never moved them apart!!

Photo taken this morning

I also love William Faulkner and have read all his novels — although Sanctuary was sort of an intense one. (Oh, and if you’re new to the blog — back in 2001, my then novel-in-progress, The Curse of Our Profound Disorder, was a finalist in the William Faulkner Writing Competition in New Orleans. I was so thrilled by that!!!) Anyway.

Also from this morning:

And here’s this! A song I love!! (mentioned above.) “Carnage” by Nick Cave & Warren Ellis, 2021:

Meanwhile–

You can read the above-mentioned Red Hand File in full HERE.

*************

And now I better scoot and I am so hoping that today remains stress-free, distraction-free, and full of an easy flow of joy and wonder!!

I guess we shall see…

Have a great Thursday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

***********

Let’s close with this.

Another — but very, very different — song that I love.

Morgana King, “It’s A Quiet Thing.” 1965. Enjoy, gang.

Back on the Happy Track

Well, at least for now, the Agency has added NO ADDITIONAL shifts or hours to my schedule. So it’s looking like they have found other caregivers to help out at my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man’s house.

Today will be, well, I don’t know if “interesting” is the right word. But his daughter will be calling him from Seattle while I’m at his house today, to tell him that his private nurse — the nurse who has been a constant presence in his home since about 2018 and taken such great care of him — is dying and will never be coming back.

I don’t know how he will process it. I really don’t. It might go right over his head, at first. But eventually it will register with him. Ultimately, I know he will say that she’s gone to a better place. But how he will actually feel about it — I just don’t know. We’ll soon find out.

Yesterday was rough for me, but today, at least so far, I’m better. One thing about this job — death is part of it. But this one really came out of left field.

****************

This morning, gang. Wow. Actual royalties in my checking account from Amazon!

And also!! After having been banned for 5 years, and back on sale for less than a week–1954 Powder Blue Pickup is ranked #41 in Historical Erotica!!!!! Thank you so much, gang. This just makes me so happy.

The eBook is still FREE on Amazon Kindle, with or without Kindle Unlimited. But I think that ends today. I’m actually not sure. But the eBook is HERE.

1954 Powder Blue Pickup is absolutely for Adults Only. Thank you!!!

*************

Tomorrow is my day off. And once again, I am hoping to complete that short story that still only has about 400 more words to go.

I think back on my life, and up until that scam-demic and the lockdowns, I spent so much time every day, getting my writing done. And now, it’s like whacking my way through an emotionally draining jungle of distractions, just trying to get even an hour to write each day, where my brain and heart are focused.

I come up with weird thoughts, like: Am I not getting enough coffee? You know, I cannot figure out how to get back to my old life. I have so much new writing I want to do. Not just to finish the short story that’s been hanging on forever (which is under a deadline now), but I really, really want to get down to writing the memoir about my life in the 1970s.

To the point where I say to myself, Please, God, don’t let me die before I have a chance to write that book!!

Not to mention, an almost-complete erotic memoir, Girl in the Night: Erotic Love Letters to the Muse, and the half-finished erotic novella, Novitiate ’66. And the not even halfway started non-erotic novel, Down to the Meadows of Sleep. And the almost finished non-erotic flash memoir about my childhood years being raised by a narcissist, In the Shadow of Narcissa. And 3 barely started scripts for streamers that have nothing to do with Sandra. And 2 plays.

All this stuff on my desk.

Anyway. On we go. At least it’s finally getting better!

***************

Okay.

Here’s this!!

Keith.

Wow, did this make me smile. I don’t think I need to explain why:

And not-so-smiling, but boy, do I remember Keith in 1978!! Keith had finally kicked heroin after the horrible drug bust in Toronto, in ’77.

Keith in South Salem, NY, 1978:

And here’s Keith looking really seriously sleepy (?) at the Excelsior Hotel in Rome, in 1984:

Photo by Luiano Viti

Just because he quit heroin finally, didn’t mean he quit doing other stuff. I remember when my best friend Valerie in Brooklyn was working for Mica Ertegun in the early 90s and doing some specialized painting in Keith’s house in Connecticut, she used to tell me that he’d go down to his basement recording studio at, like, 8 in the morning, with a glass of Vodka and Orange Crush…. something like that.

Anyway….

*************

Here’s this!

A wonderful blast from the past!

Nick Cave and Blixa Bargeld in 1985!

And from the not so distant past at all!

Nick Cave decides to take John & Yoko’s advice and “Give(s) Peace A Chance”!

*************

Here’s this, while we’re at it —

****************

And I think that’s it because I gotta get ready to head to town and see what this day with my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man is going to bring.

Have a wonder-filled Wednesday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

****************

Let’s close with this, while we’re still at it.

From the Oldies FM Radio Station on the retro boombox next to my bed this morning.

From John & Yoko’s final album together, Double Fantasy. Which was released two days after I arrived in NYC (released November 17, 1980), and I remembered looking at the album cover displayed in the window of a record store in Midtown Manhattan and just feeling so happy to see John Lennon looking so happy (and sounding so happy, finally).

My very first hero, gang. I really was so happy for him.

When I was 11, his massive interview in Rolling Stone Magazine introduced me to a new side of Bob Dylan that I’d never seen, to Brian Jones and the Rolling Stones, helped me see Elvis in a whole new way, and tons of other musicians and types of music.

I loved music. By then, at age 11, I played violin, piano, and guitar. (In fact, music was what made me want to go live in NYC in the first place, back when I was only 7 years old.)

Then Lennon was assassinated a couple of weeks later, on December 8, 1980. Jesus. NYC in the 80s was just so intense.

Anyway. When this came on the radio this morning right as I was getting out of bed, my whole adult life went walking across my brain. (And of course, it only made me want to write about it…)

“Watching the Wheels” from Double Fantasy, 1980. Enjoy, gang.