Life in the Fast Lane of the Hinterlands!

What a week! And it’s only Wednesday…

I completely LOST things like the Columbus Day holiday (#Let’sMakeAmericaSpanishAgain!).

(Last week, when the guys were here collecting the wood from my now-no-longer-there-fence, one of the guy’s wives was here, sitting in their truck, and she said to me that she’d taken a long weekend because of the holiday. And I said, “What holiday was that?” Thinking it was still late July. And she looked at me disdainfully and said, “Columbus Day.” And I was stunned back to the reality of this being October already and no longer July, and also really embarrassed that I suddenly had a living witness to my Muse-induced insanity around here. )

(See tons of posts below re: the powerful new  Muse in my life and how I can’t keep track of anything anymore because all I do is write in this sort of Muse-induced frenzy.)

(And I’ve now lost 20 pounds since the Muse arrived, 3 months ago – I no longer eat and I hardly sleep. A girl at my PT job said the other evening, “God I wish I had your willpower!” You don’t need will- power to drop 20 pounds in 3 months. You just need to be crazy.)

Anyway.  I also lost complete track of Monday, October 15th, which was my big day to pay the water bill on time without getting a $10 late fee tacked onto it.  I’d made out the check on Saturday but decided not to drop it in the weekend mail-slot because I wanted to ask the lady at City Hall which night they do Trick-or-Treat around here and at what time, because I didn’t want to be caught candy-less by all the young trick-or-treaters here in Crazyland.

And because of that good intention, the perfectly on-time check sat on my kitchen table, and then I proceeded to think that October 14th went on for about 48 hours, and when I awoke on Tuesday, the 16th, I realized I’d lost an entire fucking DAY, and now my water bill was late and I owed them an additional $10 for absolutely nothing.

(And loyal readers of this lofty blog will no doubt recall that this past month, I had that weird episode with my garden hose spigot that refused to turn off, and so a ton of water was just coming out of it for hours without my being able to turn it off… So I’d already garnered myself a huge water bill for absolutely nothing, and now it was $10 more.)

(And in the middle of me telling all my water-bill woes to the lady at City Hall, who comes wandering out from his office to look at the strange creature telling this weird story but the Mayor of Crazyland himself!) (That was weird.) (BTW, he, the Mayor, was recently arrested for pulling a gun on one of his employees. Literally arrested. But he got off with a fine. I just love living here in Crazyland!!)

(And also BTW, our City Hall is in a storefront and is about as big as my kitchen.)

I’m not sure why I’m in this sort of overtly-parenthetical mood today.

The good news is that I’m still really happy. And the revisions of the TV pilot are still going well, though going slowly. And next week I’ll be in NYC for a few days to work with Sandra on the musical, and to see American Son on Broadway.

And tomorrow, I’m going to see The Full Monty at our local professional playhouse (that link takes you to the bigger-budget UK version of the play but you’ll get the gist of the story). And I’m going with a wonderful woman I know from my job. She’s about 10 years younger than me and spends 110% of her time on her own planet.

She sends me these wonderful texts sometimes in the middle of the night – very poetic – while she smokes a cigarette and looks at the moon and thinks about her sexuality and wonders about all the spirits who have crossed over. I love getting texts like that, especially in the middle of the night,  and she’s the only one in the entire world who sends me them.

Plus, for some reason that she came up with, we’re taking that young guy with us to the play (the 23-year-old who looks like a surfer dude but who is not a surfer dude) (see a text below somewhere from late July, I think, re: me being or not being a Silver Cougar who would or would not be willing to have sex with a 23-year-old guy who looks like a surfer). [Editor’s Update: You know, I looked for that post and can’t find it anymore, but the answer was a resounding NO, I’m not a Silver Cougar and it had something to do with my overload of unwieldy sexual fetishes being too much for surfers to manage, and I had also gone on to talk about that other guy from work, and all his knives and the map for the year-long sea voyage…. All of it vanished from the ether!]

But, indeed, all three of us are going out to dinner and then to the theater to see The Full Monty, and I have no idea why he wants to do this with 2 women who are crazy and old enough to be his mom(s), and I also have no idea if he knows that there is nudity in the play – all male nudity, at that. So we will see! It should prove to be a greatly informative evening, regardless of which way it plays out.

Plus, this other woman is always really nice at work, if also crazy, whereas I am almost always a total bitch, but only because almost everybody there is almost always pissing me off. (I almost always have a sort of turbulent inner world whenever I’m at work, because I would almost always rather be at home, writing.) So, why this guy wants to be out in public with us is anyone’s guess…

Well, life does indeed go on. And the morning is already half-over so I gotta get back to the TV pilot. I hope you have a splendid Wednesday, wherever you are in the world, and wherever it winds up taking you! Thanks for visiting! See ya.

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