Yesterday was an intense day. That spiritual midway point, where my stepmom has already died but the funeral hasn’t happened yet. That process of closure hasn’t begun yet, and the huge change brought on by her sudden absence from the world is still raw.
But my dad is doing very well, all things considered. All of the families arrived yesterday — from California and Alabama, and of course me, too. So that kind of commotion is very healing, I think. The only real rough patch for him was that we had to go out to the cemetery and choose the headstone.
It was a very curious sort of feeling for me, personally, because now I’ve seen where my dad is going to be buried. And now I know what the headstone looks like that will have his name on the other half of it.
And I was also thinking, wow — could you have found a more remote cemetery? How on Earth will I ever find this place ever again?
Its a really pretty place, though. Old. Very arts deco.
The dinner last night was magical. There was that sort of happy, blessed feeling. There were 14 of us. Ranging in ages from 4 to 90. All of my stepmom’s children were there and her grandchildren and her great-grandchildren. And her husband and her stepdaughter. It was the only time, ever, that all of us were in the same room together, having dinner at the same table. I know for sure that the spirit of my stepmom was there with us,, feeling her own joy. The sense of bliss that was at that table last night was pronounced.
Today will be more difficult, since it’s the actual funeral. But the main part that will be overwhelming for my dad is that 2 special buses of people are coming— the nursing home where she lived for the last 11 years had to rent a bus to accommodate the amount of staff and patients who want to attend my stepmom’s funeral. She was so loved there by everybody. And all her friends from high school (!!) also rented a special bus. And my stepmom would have been 80 in a couple weeks, and it still requires a bus to accommodate all her friends from her girlhood who want to come to her funeral to tell her goodbye.
She was just so loved. She really was just the most caring, happy, loving woman.
I don’t know yet if I’ll head home later today or wait until tomorrow morning. Still playing it all by ear. Waiting to see if my dad will just want to be alone tonight or not want to be alone, you know?
Oh, and loyal readers of this lofty blog no doubt recall that I’m not a big television watcher and so the TV set that I have in my family room is a 20-year old digital set, not a flat screen TV. I’d been thinking lately that I need to get a modern TV but the very last thing I want to spend money on is a television… Yesterday, my dad gave me my stepmom’s flat screen TV. It’s a really large one. It takes up the whole trunk of my car!
Okay, I’m gonna scoot. I hear my dad puttering in the kitchen. Have a good Saturday, gang. Thanks for visiting.