Tiny Rejoicing Heart

Okay, maybe my heart isn’t so tiny.  It’s a huge heart rejoicing over the small things.

I got great work done on the new novel yesterday. Chapter 17 had ended on an unexpected note. And I had no clue what Chapter 18 had in store, so when it finally came pouring out after dinner last evening, I couldn’t have been more surprised or happier. It all just came right out.

And, as has been the case with this whole novel (Blessed By Light – my first erotic novel since Freak Parade, which I think was published in 2010), it is writing itself. And usually has no typos, even. Or at most, one or two. The Muse is in complete control of this one, gang.  Dictating every word into my wide open void of a brain.  And it has been quite a beautiful adventure.

Normally, when I’m writing a novel (this is my 6th, and I have a 7th one also in-progress), I agonize over the arrival of every word, over the formation of every single sentence. But for this whole book – well, I do have to sit and wait and wait and wait sometimes. But when it comes, man it’s a deluge. It just comes. Hits the paper in all its glory with, as I said, almost no typos whatsoever. A  very cool experience – to be dictated to by the Muse.

So I am staring at the first page of Chapter 19. No clue what’s coming, but I know it will all turn out all right.

More repair guys came bright and early this morning. That full moon had me awake most of the night, so when I finally woke-up for real, the sun was already up and I had to scramble around to get the cats fed and get myself dressed before the guys came walking in the door at 8am to do some work on my water heater and the furnace ducts.

It’s not how I prefer to start a morning, but started it got, and Diane will be here soon anyway with my newly re-upholstered dining room chairs!! I can’t wait. I know they are going to be so beautiful, even though no one , absolutely no one, goes into that dining room except for me and 8 cats…

Then I have to do a counseling session. I’m not sure what it’s about. I don’t think it’s grief counseling. I’ll just show up and find out.  After what I went through with myself this week, keeping myself alive, I know I am ready to help someone else with whatever comes.

Then, as a Christmas gift to myself, I bought a 90-minute tarot reading with a reader in London. A Skype reading. I’m really looking forward to it.

I’ve been reading tarot cards since I was in my teens (which was in a different century, scarily enough!), but of course I am not so good at reading cards for myself, especially when I’ve been in such a stressed-out state of mind. My stepmom used to read the cards for me and she was really good at it. She did it professionally. But she’s been in a nursing home for 7 years, deteriorating pretty rapidly now from MS. So that is over. And that’s another one of those really sad things that is “transitioning” in my life.

But you have to just sort of keep on going, right? Pick up new pieces and see if you can fit them into the puzzle of what’s left of your world. I think he’s going to be a good reader, though. I’ve been following him on Instagram and watching his live videos there for a few months now. I’m really excited to see what comes up.

I think 2019 is going to be a good year. 2018 has been a really good year for me, but I still haven’t sold anything, beyond just making royalties off sales of my older books. I’ve had some great meetings in NYC and out in LA, and everything is still in process, which is good but is also kind of frustrating. So I’m hoping that 2019 sees some actual sales, and also sees me complete a couple more of my projects. Finish both of my new novels, and then complete that other one-woman show I’m writing for Sandra Caldwell. I’ve already got some producers interested in that show, so writing it would behoove a lot of us!

Plus all those micro-short films Peitor and I are writing and producing out in LA. They are just so funny, gang.  Those little vignettes (they last from 8 to 20 minutes, tops) make us both laugh so hard. It feels so good to laugh so hard. I can’t wait until we have scripts we can start shooting from and sending around to film festivals. They are just a real joy to create.

Peitor and I have been close friends for over 30 years now.  What an unexpected delight it’s been to suddenly start coming up with these scripts together that are – again – pretty much writing themselves. And they are so damn funny. In a very convoluted and unexpected way.  It seemed like everywhere we went together in LA, we wound up in a puddle of hysterics over some piece of dialogue or plot twist that would suddenly come to us.

And, actually, on that cosmic note — he just texted me a bunch of photos from Maui, where he’s on vacation with his husband this week.

So I’m gonna use this segue to get off of here and get back to the novel. Have a good day, wherever you are in the world. Thanks for visiting and making me part of your day. Take care and see ya, gang!A recent sunset on Maui… photo by Peitor Angell

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