Now that the novel is finished, that process of reading it from word one begins.
There’s always that undercurrent of doubt for me, like, Oh man, am I even gonna like this book I wrote?
But the first 19 chapters already went past the editor a couple of months ago. So I have to keep reminding myself that I’ve already read the first 19 chapters; I’ve already made the corrections and did some revisions.
I already signed off on all of that. It’s just the final 5 chapters I need the edits on, so there is no reason to fear reading this book.
I’m hoping to begin the final read-through today, only because I am really pressed for time now. I have to get back to revisions on the play as soon as I can get my mind re-focused because rehearsals begin next month. And that play needs everything I can possibly give it. And more, even.
(And talking about being afraid to read something I wrote — every time I get anywhere near that play, I always sort of mentally retreat and find that there is something else quite pressing that needs my attention first — for instance, sitting and staring. That play freaks me out — the pressure, mostly.)
Plus, Saturday morning, Peitor and I get back to work on the micro-short video scripts.
So there is no time, and really no reason, to get bogged down in doubt over Blessed By Light.
Last evening was rather rain-filled around here! And tons of thunder & lighting. Just torrential downpours. I sat on my bed and listened to music for awhile. Thought about life.
That new single, “Paradise,” by Tropical Fuck Storm was amazing. I listened to that many times. The official audio link is here. And then I also listened to the new Raconteurs song, “Bored & Razed,” and I really like that a lot, too. (Official lyric video is here.)
That album, Help Us Stranger, comes out tomorrow. I pre-ordered it a while back, so I’ve already got most of the songs on that one. I think it’s a really fun, rock & roll album.
Re: London last night and Instagram… At first, it seemed like it was just gonna be Susie Cave’s shoes (And I’m not being catty – if you follow her on Instagram, she does seem to like to take a lot of photos of her shoes). However! Late last night, the photos and videos of the Conversation started getting posted. So clearly, there is something about the oddly rule-following, law-abiding people of Birmingham…
Actually, last evening, someone in Birmingham uploaded video footage from Nick Cave’s Conversation from Monday night, and they even stated, clearly, that they weren’t supposed to be using their phones there but that they couldn’t resist, and I’m glad they gave in to temptation because I watched that short little clip about 5 times. It was so funny!
I, personally, never use my phone for anything, really. I do text, God knows. And occasionally I make an actual phone call. I study my Italian on my phone and tune my guitar with my phone. Occasionally, I check piano scales with my phone. But I’m not a picture-taker.
If you follow me on Instagram, you will undoubtedly concur about my lack of picture-taking. Occasionally, I take photos of my cats. I take photos of completed scripts and manuscripts. And I sometimes take pictures of the world surrounding my little corner of Crazeysburg.
But I would never go to any sort of public event – especially something I’ve paid for – and even have my phone turned on. I’m way old-school in that I like to sort of just experience stuff. You know, with my senses; not through my phone.
Okay, the moment of truth is gonna arrive here any moment: Will I begin reading over the manuscript and begin that final edit? Or am I gonna collapse on the bed and stare out the window?
The former is what I hope I’m gonna do; the latter is what I’m thinking I will more than likely do instead. At least for a little while. But you never know. I do have plenty of coffee sitting right here next to me and it’s still hot and that’s always an enticement of sorts for me.
(A word of caution, though: If you’re trying to entice me to do something, an offer of hot coffee is probably not gonna do it.) (I’m not really sure what entices me these days. Certainly, telling me that I don’t look nearly as old as I am will get you way deep into the right ballpark, but too many un- enticing things could still crop up speedily to negate that.) (Probably, you should just leave me alone altogether.)
(Still, if you feel compelled to entice me to do something, and I have that look on my face that screams: what the fuck do YOU want can’t you see I have a lot of staring I need to do today? You could try something like: “I know you must hear this all the time, Marilyn, but you’re just so beautiful, and funny, and smart. You know, I was wondering, do you think you could ________[fill in blank] for me? Just this once? I hate to bother you…” Even I’m surprised by how effectively that works!)
Okay! I’m gonna get started here. (I hope.) Have a wonderful Thursday, wherever you are in the world. Thanks for visiting, gang. I leave you with this: [ ]. Yes, that’s absolute complete and utter silence for a change. That’s me, sitting and staring, trying to figure out why I am the way I am and, worse yet, always have been. And stuff like that.
Okay! I love you guys! See ya!