Everything new is heading this way…

I can just feel so clearly, gang, that everything in my world is changing.

And cycles are coming to a close; and new, as yet unknown, cycles getting ready to begin.

But first–

Today is the “official” day that he was taken from us:

Also, check out this from Phil back in 2021, if you haven’t already:

JFK Part 3 – “A shocking alternative theory to the JFK Assassination aftermath.“

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Okay, yesterday, when I was with my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man –after we came back home from having our sashimi & sake — and, OH!! The restaurant has yet another new fortune cookie supplier and they are awful! His fortune was totally lame and my fortune cookie was empty!!

(Could this be yet another sign that cycles in my life are ending???)

Anyway. I digress…

After we came back home, he fell asleep for an hour, because of the sake. And since I don’t drink sake, I was totally sober and puttering around, tidying stuff, gathering the laundry and getting it ready to do when I go over there today, etc.

And even while I was sort of sad, looking around me at all the amazing stuff in his home, from all over the world, and all the memories I have now of spending time with him that I am really going to treasure, I clearly felt that I was leaving. That when I retire, I’m going to totally retire.

And move on.

And after I left his house, on the drive home, I was feeling profoundly grateful to all the clients I’ve had over these past 15 months. I felt like I’ve learned what they wanted to tell me — about aging, about the past, about family, pets, possessions, and preparing for dying.

And I had the distinct feeling that it’s my turn now: to live out the remainder of my life in the best way that suits me.

What a feeling, gang. It was so empowering. Going into the last chapters of my life now, with my eyes wide open from all the things my clients have taught me.

Wow.

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And this is sort of unexpected–

Tomorrow morning, I might not be able to post here.

Several days ago, I got an invite in the mail from a small church in the next town over. Tomorrow is there annual “new friends in the community” service, with a Pastor’s reception afterwards, in the fellowship hall.

The church is very small, and while their hymns are done in bluegrass style, they are otherwise very conservative. KJV (which is the bible style I was ordained under). And no drinking, no smoking, no partying, no LGBTQ+ shenanigans, etc.

But as loyal readers of this lofty blog perhaps recall, I have been looking for a new local church. Every church imaginable in this area has invited me to attend their church — Methodist, Evangelical, Presbyterian, Church of Christ, Mormon, and Jehovah’s Witness.

For some reason, this church’s invite popped up and appealed to me. So we’ll see. I am definitely feeling like I’m going to at least check it out tomorrow morning. And then, after that, I will have to head to my shift with the retired Minister and his lovely wife and cat…

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I don’t know, gang. It is such an interesting feeling — retiring. I have no idea what lies ahead, but I feel really confident about all of it.

Even if nothing I write ends up selling, I honestly don’t mind. I don’t mind self-publishing stuff — I’ve been doing that for years already.
And I’ve already experienced (for a couple of decades) that incredible feeling wherein every single thing I wrote, sold. Everything. Fiction, nonfiction, flash fiction, memoirs, essays, novels, novellas.

All over the world.

I had publishers in the Philippines, in Japan, in Spain, Germany, Italy, France, London, Denmark, and of course, all over the US.

I had two books published by the Book of the Month Club!

And this morning, I was lying in bed with my cup of coffee in reach, and as the sun came up, I was thinking about the book signings I did in Boston, in Cambridge MA, San Francisco, Los Angeles, London, Paris, and, of course, all over NYC.

Lots of trains, planes, and rented automobiles!

And all of this was for my erotica. Not for some lofty tome, right? Erotica. A genre that no one will touch anymore.

Such different days. It was incredible.

And the trips to Los Angeles, to meet with producers about my various TV projects (not erotica!), and having those various producers tell me that I was a great writer…(And not a single solitary person EVER hitting on me! So different from the music business…)

Wow. It was all exciting. My 30s, 40s, and 50s. And yet I don’t need to repeat it. If I do, great. But honestly, the chance to just write what I want to write and just experience my life before it zips by in a flash. Those are the prospects I’m actually interested in now, gang.

It just feels incredible.