A little chilly, but SUPER sunny! And my shift today is with my favorite 94-year-old Japanese man!!
I never, ever know what lays ahead when I first enter his kitchen each morning, but without fail, the journey he and I undertake together (mostly to the past) winds up, by the end of my shift, being astounding.
I always learn something new about him, of course, but also about myself, and usually about life, in general.
He was married twice — first, to a young Japanese woman, who was studying piano at Julliard when they met in NYC in the mid-1950s (she was friends with — an as yet unknown — Yoko Ono, and so the 3 of them would have lunch together in Greenwich Village!! You know, how cool is that?). They ended up having 4 children together — 2 in NYC, and then 2 more were born when they lived in Tokyo. One of the children, a son, very, very tragically died several years ago, but from that son came 4 grandchildren.
He was then married a second time, late in life — to a Latvian woman whose family came to the US as refugees during WWII. This second wife was the absolute love of his life. The house is still full of her essence, her world, her photos, her books, her music & movies. She seems like she was a really wonderful woman, full of life.
She passed away 6 years ago, but they were together for just over 20 years. I’m bringing all this up, because my client believes that this wife, her spirit, is what brought me into his life. And I tell you what, gang — I feel that way, too. I really do. I always smile and quietly say hello to her every time I let myself in through her kitchen door.
Anyway! Wow. I digress!
All I was really going to say is that it is a great morning over here in the Hinterlands.
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Nick Cave sent out a Red Hand File yesterday morning that was very interesting. It was one of the few RHFs that I didn’t agree with — mostly because I thought he was being too hard on himself. But also because I think it is up to each individual to discover what the purpose of his or her life is.
But it was still really interesting. It dealt with dividing one’s focus between being an artist, and having a spouse and family. He said, in part:
“You wonder whether this is a mental illness. I believe it is. The artistic impulse is an exquisite derangement – like drugs, like love, like faith, like grief – a complete and full-force commandeering of the body and the heart. It is a kind of possession, a thrilling seduction, an enchantment, as the ink and paint flow and dance. So demonically exhilarating is this sensation that we think – “This must be the purpose of life!”
But, John, it is not….”
(You can read it in full here.)
Basically, I don’t agree with anything he said there. But it did give me a lot of interesting things to think about, in relation to my own life as a writer.
If you are a loyal reader of this lofty blog, then you no doubt recall that I really, really wanted to have children when I was younger. But I went through 2 marriages to men who either did not want children or couldn’t have children, and this was really, really hard for me to come to terms with.
I did come to terms with it over time, because, in hindsight, I know I would have been a terrible mom. My writing meant everything to me — whether it was my songwriting, or my fiction writing. And I would have ended up being really short-tempered and tightly wound most of the time because i would have wanted to give my all to ALL things. But more importantly, I would have wanted my privacy. Constantly. My own world to write in.
If you’ve ever read Virginia Woolf’s classic essay, A Room of One’s Own (1929)– about how “a woman must have money and a room of her own to write fiction.” I read that book in 1983 and it has continually rung true for me throughout my life — needing a room of my own (i.e. “Marilyn’s Room”). Throw the reality of caring for children into that mix, and my mind probably would have exploded. I would have wanted to give 100% to all things, and it can’t be done.
Anyway. I enjoyed reading that Red Hand File very much because it gave me a lot to think about!
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Okay! I gotta scoot!!! BUT– before I scoot!! Peitor is getting some very interested responses to our TV series pitch over there at Series Mania in France! So we will have a ton of work to do when he gets back early next week.
Meanwhile.
Enjoy your Wednesday, wherever you are in the world!!
Thanks for visiting.
I love you guys. See ya!
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I love this photo!
Sort of like “destiny awaiting me”! Times Square in 1960 — the year I was born!! (I lived a block from here for a couple of years in the early 80s, during my first marriage.)
Marilyn's Room 