For some reason, I had no clue that it was supposed to rain for about 5 days straight and that the holiday weekend was going to be a bit of a washout.
As I was lying in bed this morning, staring out at my tree and the general “weather” beyond it, I was thinking about my mind and how curiously it works. For instance, I knew right away that there was going to be a Conversation with Nick Cave tonight in the Netherlands. And tomorrow night, too. And I realized that I basically know where he’s going to be on any given evening for the rest of the fucking year, but I have no clue what the weather is going to be just on the other side of these windows, ever.
And it’s always right there on my phone, too, you know: Here’s the weather!! This is what it’s gonna be!! Look over here!! Here we are!! We’re telling you everything you need to know about planning your holiday weekend!!
Plus, when I drove into town the other day to buy food — that absolutely gorgeous spring day — I was right next to the place where I buy all my plants and gardening stuff and plant food and everything. It was all right there. On that gorgeous spring day. I was looking right at it. And I even saw that everything was on sale.
But I thought: No! I must return to my desk and stare at my laptop screen!!
And so I assured all those lovely little flowers: “Don’t worry! I’ll be back! When the sky is black and the rains come! In the lightning and torrential downpour! In the high winds! Then and only then will I return!”
I can still plant my flowers, because I don’t plant them in the ground; I plant them in flower boxes and put them out on my porches all summer. But I’m sure as heck not gonna rake leaves in the rain. I can’t even be bothered to do it in the best of weather…
And even I can see that this stupid dead leaf thing is getting ridiculous.
I want my house to look pretty; I really do. And I hate to resort to just asking the lawn care guys to do it, because I know I’m perfectly capable of raking a bunch of (practically weightless when they’re dry) dead leaves. And what I cannot do is manage the backyard. It’s way too big and it’s full of Virginia creeper, which I’m deathly allergic to.
I guess we’ll just see how everything plays out. There is only so much I’m willing to worry about on any given day, you know? And those darn leaves are just not gonna be one of those things.
The things I am willing to worry about are:
A.) the Black Diamond guitar strings did indeed arrive. They are on top of my dresser along with the little pair of wire clippers, and the guitar is right here in my room, too. The only thing missing from that tableau is me, changing the fucking strings. I’ve somehow decided that I don’t have time to do this. What an erroneous, weird thing to think.
B.) I realized I’ve only done yoga maybe 5 times this whole month and that’s not a good thing; my joints start to scream at me. I have to stop just constantly, constantly, constantly sitting at my desk. I have to figure out how to finish writing this novel before August and still have some sort of quality of life here.
Those are the 2 things I’m willing to worry at least a little bit about. Because, honestly, my life is just really wonderful these days.
[UPDATE: Several hours later. Consider it strung! ]
Okay! I think I’m gonna go hang out on the bed for a little bit and watch it rain and just drink my coffee. And just sort of get ready for a wonderful rainy day.
(And I’m gonna be very curious to see those Instagram photos out of the Netherlands tonight. You know, has Nick Cave gone through some sort of epiphany that has completely altered him? Or was it just something about Luxembourg itself? Obviously I don’t know, but he did look transformed. Really. I’m not exaggerating (for a change). He looked like 20 years of worry or something had melted off of him. He just seemed so different. And not only how he looked, but also that part where he had that guy from the audience sit next to him on the piano bench – he looked really happy there. And then he also sat down right at the edge of the stage at one point. Yes – in that same suit that I refuse to fixate on anymore. He sat down on the edge of the stage and was just talking to the people who were sitting right there in front of him. Then he seems to have gone right down among them to give someone specific a hug. Indeed, the wonderful people in Luxembourg gave me a ton of cool photos to ponder, that’s for sure.)
All right, then. I leave you with my breakfast-listening music from this morning. I’ve been thinking a lot about my family since yesterday’s post – that particular part of my birth family came here from Germany in the mid-1700s and settled in Kentucky. They actually settled specific parts of eastern Kentucky. They were well-known pioneers who worked alongside Daniel Boone to settle Kentucky. They are in the history books.
And even though I love NYC – just adore it – it wasn’t until I moved out here to the middle of absolute nowhere, to the wilds of Muskingum County, that I finally felt like I was home. Okay. Thanks for visiting! I love you guys. See ya.