Quite the Gloomy Morning Here Today

It’s already 7:30am and it’s still dark out — it’s just gloomy and rainy.

The kind of morning where I want to just stay in bed until it becomes afternoon.

However, Peitor wants to get to work early on the micro-script today, so I am out of bed and, you know, at least trying to get the brain in gear here.

I had a really interesting dream before waking up (I’ve actually been awake since 4:30). I was visiting someone — people I knew really well in the dream but now I don’t know who they were. But they had a lot of pets — dogs, cats and domesticated raccoons.

They were all just so beautiful and well cared for. They all had really silky, beautiful fur.

A guy that I knew really well (can’t recall now who that was, either), came to visit me at that house and we were going to go to sleep on the kitchen floor.  It was a wood floor, and had some straw scattered on it. But I put down a bunch of blankets, and as soon as we laid down, all the animals were all over us — wanting to play and to snuggle and to be petted, even the raccoons. So much love.  It was overwhelming but really beautiful.

Then all of the sudden, I was with my adoptive mother and she was saying that she had to round up all the animals and take them to the vet because they needed to be treated for fleas. But I knew for sure that none of them had fleas. They were really well cared for, but she refused to listen to me.

After I woke up and was downstairs getting breakfast for 7 beautiful, healthy non-flea-ridden but nonetheless feral cats (and my beautiful, healthy, non-flea-ridden, non-feral self) I was thinking that the dream was maybe about that saying: lie down with dogs and you get up with fleas.

My adoptive mother, in real life, never liked any of my friends or any of my boyfriends, and could barely tolerate any of them, usually not allowing them to even come into the house — even though I tried in vain to convince her that they were all really nice.  (She did like Wayne, my 2nd husband, but that was about it.)

I’m not sure what the dream might really mean beyond that, except to also highlight my boundless capacity for loving animals. And perhaps my not differentiating between domestic and wild animals. I don’t really know. (Oh, and my wanting a huge amount of love, but that’s just a given with me, 24/7. I don’t need a dream to tell me that.)

Well, here’s some good news: I got the electric bill that covers the weeks of Christmas decorations and New Year’s and it is just amazing how affordable these energy-efficient Christmas lights are, you know? I can remember how, in the old days, you wouldn’t think of leaving your tree on all night unless it was Christmas Eve. Because the cost of running all those lights was ridiculous — well into the hundreds of dollars for the month of December.  Now, after the whole month of having all sorts of Christmas lights on all over the house, often all night long — the bill was only $13 more than it usually is. It’s just astounding.

In the old house, I replaced a very old furnace, which would cost about $700 a month to run in the peak cold days of winter. And after the new furnace — $75 a month. Maybe as much as $100 if it got really, really cold.

Just amazing, right? It’s good to touch base with these kinds of achievements because it helps us see that things do get better. Even the ozone is actually healing itself now. Things change for the better; people do care about the Earth.  It sometimes doesn’t feel that way, though, in the thick of the crisis.

Well, I did watch Doubt yesterday and I got a bit of a thread for my character’s arc in Tell My Bones. But when I was watching the first segment of Ken Burns’ Jazz, I got a lot more intimations. Took a lot of notes about what I was feeling, but still haven’t honed in on the complete story for that one character. So I guess it just needs to gestate for a bit. But I do get the sense that once I nail down her story, it is going to add a really intense thread throughout the whole play, so I feel excited about what’s coming.

Again, I have to thank that Director for his instincts. It’s not like he’s ever told me “such and such needs to happen in the plot,” because the plot was already there, but he knows what the overall result has to feel like, and from that I’ve been consistently able to really open up the theatrics of the play, and the arcs of the main characters. It’s been wonderful.

Loyal readers of this lofty blog no doubt recall that I courted this director for this specific project for a couple of years — and he didn’t know me from anyone on Earth. So I would encourage you to follow your instincts when you feel that strongly about a person (or maybe even a place — I had to beg 2 different realtors 5 times to take me through this house here that I now own and am so happy in. The realtors felt the house was a lost cause, without knowing that the owner had been doing a lot of work to it to get it to finally sell.).

Anyway. When you feel that strongly about someone or something, follow it through. Even if people think you’re maybe annoying or a little nuts. (I don’t want to ever be thought of as annoying, but I’m kind of used to people thinking I’m nuts and yet my overall track record (specifically as a niche-market writer) is pretty darn good.)

Okay! I gotta scoot here! I need my brain in work-mode for when Peitor calls here in a bit. For some reason, he’s in Dallas, Texas, right now, so he wants to take advantage of the time zone — he’s only an hour behind me right now instead of the usual 3 hours. So who knows? Maybe we’ll get a ton of work done on the script and I’ll still be able to get right back into bed!!

Have a great Friday, wherever you are in the world. Try to stay hopeful, encouraged, in love with your life. And I’ll try to do the same over here! Thanks for visiting, gang. I leave you with the music from last evening, since this morning I was back to Rudy Vallee and I just posted that one here the other day. All righty. I love you guys. See ya.

“What Is Life”

What I feel, I can’t say
But my love is there for you anytime of day
But if it’s not love that you need
Then I’ll try my best to make everything succeed

Tell me, what is my life without your love
Tell me, who am I without you, by my side

What I know, I can do
If I give my love now to everyone like you
But if it’s not love that you need
Then I’ll try my best to make everything succeed

Tell me, what is my life without your love
Tell me, who am I without you, by my side
Tell me, what is my life without your love
Tell me, who am I without you, by my side

What I feel, I can’t say
But my love is there for you any time of day
But if it’s not love that you need
Then I’ll try my best to make everything succeed

Tell me, what is my life without your love
Tell me, who am I without you, by my side
Oh tell me, what is my life without your love
Tell me, who am I without you, by my side

What is my life without your love
Tell me, who am I without you, by my side

[fade:]
Oh tell me, what is my life without your love
Tell me who am I without you by my side

c – 1970 George Harrison

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