No, I’m serious! Look :
Of course, I don’t bake anymore because I live alone now and would just eat everything all by myself and then be as big as — if not bigger than — my whole house.
But I used to be a really good baker.
In fact, back when I worked at the Museum of Modern Art in NYC in my 20s, for a while I was the assistant to the Pastry Chef there. And I also slept with the Pastry Chef there. Although I don’t recall that either one of us ever actually slept… And while sexual activities between employees was rampant there (as well as among the guests of the museum — frequently the guests would have sex in the bathroom stalls there during various sunny afternoons), it was still technically frowned upon by the boring fuddy-duddy Management and Security personnel. And so she (the Pastry Chef was a ‘she’) used to say this thing that still cracks me up . If/when we were screwing around somewhere in maybe a storage room in the bowels of that heady museum, and it seemed like some sort of “Boss” type person was coming, she’d get her shit together very quickly and say, “Watch it. Furtive lurkers are about.”
That always made me laugh so hard. We never got caught at anything, but we always looked like we were up to something. (Management there loved her, though, but most of the Management did not love me. I was opinionated, outspoken, and the Shop Steward for the Local Union there.) (Still — since it was the 1980s and Manhattan was still incredibly wonderful, she and I would take our break together at the bar next door to the museum, drink as heavily and as quickly as we could, fool around in the bathroom stall at the bar, and then light up our cigarettes and head back for Round 2 at the museum!)
Anyway!! Yes!! I digress!!
I am not baking anything here today, but we did get a colossal wind storm here last evening and some of the siding blew off from around my kitchen window, so I’ve already been out there with a ladder, a hammer and some nails, and got everything back in place.
(And if I had a ladder that was ten times as tall, I would clean out my gutters, too. But alas, I don’t have that kind of a ladder. Plus, I’m afraid of heights…)
It’s a good thing the roof on my barn was already fixed last week because that wind yesterday would have blown the rest of the roof right off it. The winds were at 65 MPH.
Even though it’s overcast here today and cool, it looks like it is going to be the last one of these types of days — by mid-week, we go up into the 70s Fahrenheit and beyond. So it will really be Spring and I can start cleaning up the yard and the porches and get the flowers planted in their flower boxes and clean up the porch furniture and just get ready for, hopefully, the best Summer ever.
Okay, today is an Abstract Absurdity Productions day! Peitor should be calling here later on. And then hopefully I’ll also be doing some more work over the phone with Valerie in Brooklyn regarding the book cover layout for The Guitar Hero Goes Home. And other than that, I’m just planning on writing and editing at my desk today. So it should be a nice day.
I hope you guys have a great Monday, wherever you are in the world! Thanks for visiting, gang. I have no breakfast-listening music from this morning, but I leave you with this! It cracks me up. I wrote about this a couple weeks ago after watching it on TikTok: Tyler Jarry’s “Dads talking about the weather.” It’s so perfect. (In my life, anyway. This is just totally my dad.) Okay. Enjoy! Have a wonderful day. I love you guys. See ya!