That’s kind of how every morning has started for me for the last 45 years.

So, the sad news is that I spoke to my dad Sunday morning and he sounded just terrible and by Sunday evening, he suddenly started to go downhill fast. His hospice coordinator texted me and said I needed to get down there as soon as I could.

I drove down to see him yesterday to say goodbye. I know he heard me because he squeezed my hand while I spoke to him, but he was “asleep” the entire time I was with him.

The hospice nurses did not expect him to live through the night, but so far, he is still with us. But he is just barely breathing.

I have to say that yesterday was an amazing day for me. Even though it started out extremely stressful and upsetting and sad, once I actually saw my dad and spent time alone with him — and, also, the hospice coordinator took me aside yesterday and told me some incredibly beautiful things that my dad had told her about me — I felt at peace for him and for me, too. I know he is ready to go.

The one friend I have in these parts who is wide awake and follows Q and the Truthers, drove down with me yesterday and she was such a blessing. She kept my mind off of all that stressful stuff, kept me focused, plus we laughed a lot. I don’t think I could have made that trip yesterday without her.

Now, I am just waiting for the call from the nurse to say my dad has passed.

Meanwhile, it’s a really beautiful day so I’m going to spend a little time out in my gardens. Oh — and, plus, my ancient dogwood tree bloomed during the night! I think it’s the final dogwood tree left in the entire county to finally bloom. In fact, I didn’t think it was going to bloom at all this year since it took so long. But this morning, as the sun was coming up and I stood at the kitchen window drinking my first cup of coffee, I looked over at the tree and suddenly realized it had bloomed. I felt like it was somehow connected to my dad.

Anyway.

Here’s what I have for today.

CHARLIE WARD DAILY NEWS WITH PAUL BROOKER & DREW DEMI – TUESDAY16TH APRIL 2024 (9 mins):

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From Michael Jackson‘s channel — a video, ‘Cancer: the Forbidden Cures‘ (at the link):

“Discover the hidden cancer cures that medical cartels have historically suppressed. Share this with your friends to spread the word!”

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Matt Roeske – Are you shadow banned? Social Medea in 2024 and false history (1 hr):

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More from James Tabor’s new series–

Seven Fateful New Testament Texts: Women Keep Silent and Be Subservient to Men (23 mins):

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Ross K. Nichols – What is “Tzara’at” in the Bible? (1 hr 12 mins):

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Yesterday, in London, from the premiere of Jeanne du Barry:

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From the new Amy Winehouse film score — the beautiful “Song for Amy,” by Nick Cave and Warren Ellis:

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And that’s really it for now.

I hope you have a terrific Tuesday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting. I love you guys. See ya!

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Last night in my bed, I was basically out of my mind. Literally. My entire soul was wiped out and my mind was reeling.

Here’s my listening music from all that — the album Fragments – Time Out of Mind Sessions (1996-1997). Especially this incredible song, “Not Dark Yet” . Enjoy, gang.

“Not Dark Yet”

Shadows are fallin’ and I’ve been here all day
It’s too hot to sleep and time is runnin’ away
Feel like my soul has turned into steel
I’ve still got the scars that the sun didn’t heal
There’s not even room enough to be anywhere
It’s not dark yet but it’s gettin’ there.

Well, my sense of humanity has gone down the drain
Behind every beautiful thing there’s been some kind of pain
She wrote me a letter and she wrote it so kind
She put down in writin’ what was in her mind
I just don’t see why I should even care
It’s not dark yet but it’s gettin’ there.

Well, I’ve been to London and I been to gay Paris
I’ve followed the river and I got to the sea
I’ve been down on the bottom of the world full of lies
I ain’t lookin’ for nothin’ in anyone’s eyes
Sometimes my burden is more than I can bear
It’s not dark yet but it’s gettin’ there.

I was born here and I’ll die here against my will
I know it looks like I’m movin’ but I’m standin’ still
Every nerve in my body is so naked and numb
I can’t even remember what it was I came here to get away from
Don’t even hear the murmur of a prayer
It’s not dark yet but it’s gettin’ there.

c – 1997 Bob Dylan