Getting ready for the meeting. Gonna take Lyft. One subway ride per day (or perhaps less)! is enough.
Its certainly not the Algonquin but I guess I’m not going to complain. It’s a great location. It really is. My old stomping grounds from the days of my first marriage — Hell’s Kitchen. (Back then, it really was Hell’s Kitchen, though,)
One of the book’s in this room I’m staying in is “Mating in Captivity.” How truly bizarre for it to be in my room. If you don’t know this book, it’s all about how to keep eroticism alive while married…. Jesus. Anyway!!
Yes, Sandra and I have done nothing but discuss this theater stuff. To say that it’s weighing on me now is a slight understatement.
We’re taking the train into the city later this morning. Then I’m gonna check into my Airbnb. She’s going to drop her stuff off at her pied a terre. Then we go across town to meet with the director.
The front porch here is so inviting. It has wicker rocking chairs. I actually fell asleep for a few minutes while rocking yesterday in the sun, listening to the peace & quiet.
But then Sandra came out to the porch and we began discussing the play again, and my peace sort of fled me. She says, “ I want to hear what the director thinks, but I’m thinking we’re looking at a 2 million dollar budget for this play now.”
I just sort of looked at her.
I can’t really get my mind around that kind of a budget, but I’m inclined to believe her. The rewrites have been that drastic.
I can’t process it anymore. Of course, we’ll hear what the director is thinking about it, as well. But all I can do, really, is just focus on writing the best play I can and then not think one step beyond that. Just let life happen. Allow the Universe to work those miracles it is so famous for.
Several photos on Instagram this morning from Nick Cave’s Conversation in DC last night. Looks like it went splendidly!! I of course will not even be bringing my phone to Lincoln Center tonight. I never take photos of events even when I’m allowed to. I just sort of like to be present and not even think about my phone. Tonight’s show is where I have the really good seat — 4th row of the Orchestra, over to the left.
Even while I have collected photos and micro clips on Instagram of every single one of these Conversations since the tour started in Australia in January, I’m oddly feeling like I have no idea what to expect. The only thing I feel certain of is that the time will fly and I will wish that, instead, time would stop and it would go on forever.
However…
Okay, so I wrote a new segment for In the Shadow of Narcissa yesterday. I think I still might tweak it a tiny bit. But you can find the segment at the link to the site that’s somewhere here in the blog. I’m on my phone now so I can’t really see the navigation. But the link is here somewhere.
Tomorrow, Sunday, I will likely spend the day in my room at the Airbnb working on rewrites of the play. Sandra and I might meet up with Wayne somewhere (my ex who is also a long time friend of Sandra’s). I’m not positive about that. I’m kind of keeping tomorrow open because Monday I’m sort of booked solid before the Conversation at Town Hall at 8pm, and I want to relax a little. I think. I guess we’ll see how it all pans out.
Okay. Yes, I’m in a bit of a weird mood, stemming from this colossal budget thing that I managed to create. No one but me seems at all disturbed by this so I’m trying to just let it go and chill, you know? I guess, like everything, we’ll just see.
I leave you with a shot of the quiet empty kitchen from just before I began to blog— when I grabbed another cup of coffee. I get up so early, as you know. Not a soul around here is awake until hours after I get up.
Well, okay.
Thanks for visiting, gang!! Have a super Saturday, wherever you are in the world! I love you guys! See ya!
[UPDATE: In the Shadow of Narcissa has updated. You can read it here! Thanks!]
(Now, back to the blog!)
Three nights in a row now, I have slept really great. No anxiety at all, even though all my challenges remain the same and, now that I’m here in Rhinebeck, focusing on both plays with Sandra, new challenges are arising. But that sense that everything will unfold however it needs to unfold is really pronounced.
So I’m good.
I can’t believe that the Conversations with Nick Cave resume tonight in DC. It seems like it came so fucking fast. Then tomorrow night, I see him in the city— and then again on Monday.
I’m doing that thing again — dragging my feet, trying to slow it all down, because it will be over in a heartbeat and life will just go on!
No!! How can that be??
When Sandra asked me who I was seeing in the city, and I said “Nick Cave,” she said, “but who are you seeing on Monday then?”
”Nick Cave.”
”Oh, then who are you seeing at Lincoln Center?”
”Nick Cave.”
”Wait— you’re seeing that dude twice?”
”Yeah.”
“You must like him a lot.”
”I do.”
”Who is he?”
Aaaarrrggggh!!!! Oh well. Clearly not every American is oblivious to Nick Cave because all the Conversations are sold out…
Sandra and I had a long discussion last evening re: Tell My Bones and I went over the director’s notes with her, even though I haven’t done the rewrites yet. She was very insightful and enthusiastic. Today, we’re going to go over the whole play, scene by scene, which will likely help me facilitate the rewrites.
I’m feeling extremely good about everything because Sandra’s response to this new version is very, very encouraging.
I have a feeling I’ll be spending most of my time at the Airbnb writing. Both on Tell My Bones and on a new segment for In the Shadow of Narcissa. I’m planning to spend Monday with Valerie. But other than that, I think I’ll just be hanging out by myself, writing.
Yesterday, Sandra and I went and had lunch at this place I really like because it has great vegetarian options. And in there, I swear to you — I’m not lying about this — one of the guys who works there, who looked to be in his late teens, early 20s tops, came on to me!! I was completely taken aback by this because I was in one of those intense moods where I wasn’t even smiling. At first I thought maybe he was attracted to my Tom Petty tee shirt. But, no, it seemed that he was actually attracted to ME! And I was, like, WOW. Now that is interesting, right? It’s like they get younger and younger.
Is it because I’m getting more and more immature?!!
When I woke up this morning, at 5:45 am, my brain was reciting various odd stanzas from Whitman’s “I Sing the Body Electric.” I hadn’t thought of that poem in years. This is that area of the country, where he lived, roamed, thrived, wrote. Really, when you get to the East Coast you can feel the ghosts of all those sensibilities— writers and thinkers who settled here, drew in the Nature that was all around here back then, and then created from that intake. Rhinebeck is just one of those places that retains its history. It’s part of daily life. It’s the reason why I love it so much — but it does come with a huge price tag. It’s really expensive to live out here.
New Yorkers do that to a place: they buy a summer home somewhere up the Hudson, then decide it’s so nice, let’s make it year round. Then everyone catches on and does the same thing, and in a heartbeat, the price of everything goes through the roof and city people are all over the place.
Okay! Well, I hope things are good in your part of the world, gang. I’m gonna grab some more coffee and hang out and think about life until Sandra emerges from the boudoir. I leave you with a shot looking down in the neighbors yard at 6:30 am this morning.
Thanks for visiting! I love you guys. See ya.
Looking down at the neighbor’s yard in Rhinebeck 6:30 am
It seems like today has been full of conversations about marriages that have gone wrong all over town….
A little depressing.
And then what to aim for next. And never get married again. And all that. It makes me sad. I want people to be happy. 🥺
Ah well. I’m sitting on the porch. It’s 5 pm in Rhinebeck. I’m guessing that the future is still my oyster but it takes a lot of effort to be a happy go lucky 12-year-old girl, when all these grownups around me are talking about divorces…
It’s a truly peaceful morning here in Rhinebeck!! Below (at the bottom) is a photo I took just now from the bed.
One nice thing I was able to do for Sandra the moment I got here, was blow out a fuse here in the guest room!! And try as we might, we can’t fix it! So an expensive electrician needs to be called in!! Please feel free to invite me to stay in your guest room whenever you’d like to!!
Anyway. I am doing things the old-fashioned way— relying on the daylight hours to write in my journal. Oh, and of course, using my iPhone to guide me in the darkness! Just like my pioneering ancestors did!!
Nick Cave sent out the best Red Hand Files newsletter yesterday. I’d link to it but I’m not certain how to do all that on my phone while I’m posting to the blog. Anyway, it was a really beautiful newsletter and luckily it arrived right before I took off for my 500-mile drive to NY. It really just helped me have a great frame of mind and I had just the best trip!!
i made it in exactly 9 hours, door to door. Unheard of!! It’s usually close to 10 or 11 hours, due to traffic. But yesterday, everything was just absolutely perfect!! No traffic, no road construction blocking anything. Gorgeous weather! I sailed right through.
And it was so nice, as I was driving away from my house, to have my birth mom standing there, waving goodbye to me at my kitchen door. She just loves me so much. She’s very introverted and quiet, but she is just so sweet to me. When I think of how terribly I missed her all through my childhood, it is still hard for me to grasp that she is now such a part of my life. I located her when I was 25, so it’s been many years already. Still, I am so blessed to have found her.
So.
Saturday, Sandra and I meet with the director in the city re: Tell My Bones., even though I still haven’t even attempted to begin those rewrites he wants for the ending of the play, But it’s just so great to be here with Sandra and have her as a sounding board, too. She does feel extremely positive about the drastic changes I’ve made to the script. So that’s really good.
There’s a lot going on here re: our other play in Toronto. I can’t really go into it on the blog, but we just have a lot on our plate. So it will be some intense days around here.
All right. I’m gonna go downstairs and grab some more coffee. Thanks for visiting, gang! I love you guys. See ya!
You know, I’ve heard from houseguests that my guest room was really comfortable and last night I experienced it for myself!
I got into the bed and it was, like, man — this bed is more comfortable than mine is! And then I had the best night’s sleep I had in ages. It’s a really nice room. It just has great vibes.
Yes, I got lost going to pick up my mom yesterday. A 2-hour trip going there turned into 3 1/2 hours, and included a visit from the Sheriff as I waited there alone at the side of the road in the middle of all those cornfields. Had to get out of the car, show my ID and everything.
My mom spent nearly an hour trying to find me. Eventually we did manage to meet up in a gas station in a little town called Clarksburg…🥺
What should have been a 4-hour trip total, wound up being an 8 hour trip. Plus I got to see my younger brother for the first time in a few years. No one made fun of me for getting so fucking lost, though…
Yeah, so that was fun. Now I have to turn around and drive 10 hours today. But the weather is really just gorgeous so it should be a really nice drive.
My Nick Cave tickets are actually now in my handbag. So there is a really excellent chance the tickets will make it to NYC with me!
All righty, gang! I’m outta here. Gonna meditate. Have a little coffee. Load up the car and then scoot. Thanks for visiting!! I love you guys. See ya!
(oh, and I’m posting from my phone now so the photos are probably enormous…)
Marilyn's Room 