Tag Archives: Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers

She’s So Darn Busy Looking at all that D*ta, Does She Even Know It’s Almost Xmas??!!

Yes!! I do know that it’s almost Christmas, and I’m actually pretty darned excited about it, even though I will be here all alone (with 7 cats) and doing absolutely nothing that I would normally be doing at Christmas…

Speaking of cats–

The update on George is actually a pretty happy ending. We can reduce it to a simple math equation:

1 pleading mom + 1 crying daughter = 1 dad gives in and keeps cat

So, George will not be coming to live with us.  And even though I’m a little bit disappointed, I am actually really happy for George and the girl.

Okay. So.

Today is most likely a really big day in D C . If you are the type of person who prays, you might want to pray for the safety and protection of v i c e p r * s* d* n t Mike P* nc*. We shall see how it all goes.

In case you didn’t already access it, here is the link to the massive wiki l*a ks d * ta d* mp.  It will take days and days and days to read all these documents, gang. But close to the top of the list, are those pesky H* ll *ry Cl* nt *n emails that started it all…

It is just so weird — the amount of perfectly-timed leaks going on these days, isn’t it??

The who p* n d* m*c docs are allegedly in that incredibly long list, too, but I haven’t found them yet, but you have to have an idea of what all these things are actually called.

But speaking of which!! From the Post Millennial today:

Vaccines will be effective against mutated strain of coronavirus say medical experts

Though the new strain appears to be 70 percent more infectious than the original, medical experts say that the symptoms of the new virus are the same and not more extreme.

[…] The WHO has also assured the public that there was “…nothing to suggest that this variant is likely to cause serious disease” and that it the new strain is “…highly unlikely this mutation would fail to respond to a vaccine.” […]

[full article here]

Well, okay. That sorta sounds good, but it does also sorta sound like it’s pushing those vaccines…. (yes, for a virus that most people, the world over, have a 99.997% chance of recovering from, even without therapeutic drugs.)

But all that nit-picking aside — let everyone out of l* ck d*wn already. These violations of people’s rights are going beyond ridiculous.

Oh, here’s something!! Who knew??!! (I mean, besides all of us…)

M* sk Mandates Seem to Make C* P Virus Infection Rates Climb, Study Says

Protective-m*sk mandates aimed at combating the spread of the C * P virus that causes the disease C* VID * 9 appear to promote its spread, according to a report from RationalGround.com, a clearinghouse of C* VID *9 data trends that’s run by a grassroots group of data analysts, computer scientists, and actuaries.

[…] In other words, protective-m* sk mandates have a poor track record so far in fighting the coronavirus. States with mandates in place produced an average of 10 more reported infections per day than states without mandates.

[…] “The m* sk religion will have a number of inaccurate excuses ready to go, but of course, they’re obscuring and ignoring that this should not be possible, no matter what the mitigating circumstances, if m* sks were as effective or important as we were told,” Miller wrote.

Nor, according to Miller, has the protective-m* sk mandate worked in states such as California, where it was imposed long before the surge in cases began.

“The simple reality is that there is no legitimate data showing the mandates worked,” Horowitz concludes. […]

[full article is here]

Oh, and also — here is the complete N*v*rr* re*p*rt on the el*ct*on fr*ud, in case you haven’t read it yet. (Or in case you are one of the few remaining Americans who don’t believe the el* ct*on was rigged.)

Okay, folks. Today promises to be very, very interesting in D C. We’ll watch and find out.

Meanwhile, enjoy your day! Christmas is truly right around the corner!! Thanks for visiting. I love you, guys.

A quick update from yesterday’s politics:

Below, it is explained how the stimulus bill is actually money laundering on a massive scale. (i.e., $600 for you, the bankrupted bar owner; and literally billions for C* omo by way of $$ given to lands far far away, who simply give it right back) (From the mouths of babes, gang:  “New York Democratic Gov. An dr*w C* o mo is feeling proud toward his “accomplishments.” With more than 36,000 New Yorkers having died from C*VID *9, shootings in New York City up 95 percent and his state having lost 10 percent of its jobs since February, New York Gov. An dr*w C** mo gave himself a pat on the back Monday. “Santa’s going to be very good to me.”)

More on the stimulus, although that already seems to be changing since yesterday. However, important economics are explained.

We Have Nothing To Wear But Fear Itself!!

This is, of course, a play on Roosevelt’s famous advice to Americans during WWII: “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.”

And Roosevelt’s advice is indeed quite timely today.

What we know about the v*rus is that there is no p*n d*m *c. It’s fake. It’s manufactured to scare people, to bankrupt them if at all possible, and to remove their constitutional rights.

And all of the scientists and researchers who write papers or give announcements about the proof that this virus p*n d*m *c is fake, get blocked and censored here in the US by social media and mainstream media.

(If you are new to the blog, you can scroll through the past couple of weeks and get links to all of those papers and videos  in places where they have not been blocked.)

Yes. There are indeed a bazillion more people allegedly testing positive, allegedly all over the world. Although more and more people have stories of testing false positive (meaning they immediately test negative) and then only the positive test is reported. Even nurses are seeing it. And saying — in utter exhaustion — “what the fuck is with these crazy tests?”

And most importantly, there are not tons of people dying from the virus. They are dying from other stuff, and sometimes the virus is part of it.

There are at least 4 therapeutics that will cure the average person of the virus. The virus is basically the flu.  And even the CDC’s statistics here in the US do not bear out that this is a p*n d*m *c. It is a flu, and people who would be compromised by the flu are in danger of getting really sick from C* VID. But if you’re an average person, you have a 99.997% survival rate, even without therapeutics.  It’s a flu.

And of course, we now have 2 very effective vaccines ready to hit the market. With a third (Oxford in the UK) gaining in effectiveness.

But there is, of course, a worldwide fear that, along with getting the vaccine, people will have a chip introduced into their bodies that will make them track-able by whoever it is out there that is seriously trying to control us through fear and by trying to violate our rights to free speech and to assemble (also known as m* sks and l* ck d* wns).

I personally do not take vaccines. A lot of people don’t because they have become deregulated (you can’t sue the kind folks who make them if something goes horribly wrong…). But a lot of people still believe in vaccines. It eases their fears. And so they have the right to have access to them.

However, yesterday, I heard two horrifying things. One was from the UK — that even with the 95% effective Pfizer vaccine that the UK has already approved, people in the UK should be prepared to continue wearing m* sks “for years.”

Okay. So. Rather than believe that insanity, that fear-mongering and that depression shit; instead, ask yourself whose payroll  that guy is actually on, and if he isn’t being bribed, is he being blackmailed?

Those are the only two questions we should all be asking now. The only two. Because everyone knows — the dictators and tyrants especially (here in the US, they are also called by titles such as “Governor” and “Mayor”) — that this is not a p*n d*m *c, it is fake, otherwise they would be too frightened to constantly break their own m* sk and l*ck d*wn rules.

A case in point — as always — is out in Los Angeles. This short video made me cry yesterday. This poor woman! It is similar to the video I posted yesterday about the restaurant owner in Michigan.

The virus is really, really smart. It knows to infect only small businesses and not huge movie studio companies.

People, this has got to STOP. Actual lives are at stake. And not from any virus.

And here’s a quick follow-up on the Staten Island protest, where it details how in  Airstrip One, if you voted for Tr**p, your establishment is in l*ck d* wn. If you didn’t, you get to  stay open (because that darn virus knows who votes for whom…).

The other thing that I found horrifying yesterday was that there is a new proposal here in the US from Federal Democrats re: that stimulus bill (which tyrants and dictators created the need for, since Tr**p left it up to the States to decide how to “manage” the virus), that if you are willing to take the vaccine, you could get a $1500 stimulus check.

Yes. They’re going to pay people — bribe them with maybe some money to buy food or pay some rent — if they will take the vaccine??!! Otherwise, you don’t get the money.

It made me truly fear, for the first time — what ARE they going to try to administer along with that vaccine???

Why do they want to pay desperate people to take it??

And the always charming, endearing, selfless Mayor of Ch* c*go is intimating that she wants to make the vaccine mandatory in Ch* c*go… (unconstitutional, btw).

TWO QUESTIONS, that’s all. Just two fucking questions:  Whose payroll is that woman actually on, and if she isn’t being bribed, is she being blackmailed?

FOLLOW THE FUCKING $$$

Well, after I listened to the X*2 R* p*rt last night, and once I got to approximately the 33 minute point in the podcast (posted down below), the fake virus information got seriously alarming. So I did some research on which article he was talking about.

You can do it, too. The article is readily available but I strongly suggest using d* ck d* ck go.

The article is all about the 22 internationally-based scientists who are currently asserting that the R T * P C R test that was “developed” specifically to test for C* VID, was purposely developed to create an 80 -97% false positive:

[…]due to a non existent gold standard which would be the virus itself.

[…] At the heart of the controversy lies the fact that the creators of the most commonly used test, the R T-P C R, published instructions for how to test for S* RS C* V 2 “without having virus material available,” in their own words, relying instead on the Ch* n* se scientists’ genetic sequence published on the internet.

[…] Dr. C* rbett, a Ph.D., and retired RN elaborated: “There are 10 fatal errors in this Dr* sten test paper. Public Health England is a co-author on it. All the public health authorities across the EU have co-authored this paper. But here is the bottom line: There was no viral isolate to validate what they were doing. The P C R products of the amplification didn’t correspond to any viral isolate at that time. I call it ‘donut ring science.’ There is nothing at the center of it. It’s all about code, genetics, nothing to do with reality, or the actual person, the patient.

You have to read the article, gang. Please. It is not long. It is right here. And the scientific details of it will enrage you.

It also sites an article I posted a link to here several days ago, about the paper out of Wu h*n that studied over 9 million test cases and determined that:

Virus cultures were negative for all asymptomatic positive and repositive cases, indicating no “viable virus” in positive cases detected in this study.

If you live in Germany, you likely already know all about this fake P C R test that was created to generate false positives,  because there is a team of lawyers suing the Government there, as well as starting a Class-Action lawsuit here in the US and in Canada, and probably Australia, as well. But the German lawsuit maintains that 2 of the 3 main perpetrators of this fr*ud are from Germany. The 3rd perp being the head of the W H O…

(And Tr**p pulled the US out of the W H O. Go figure…)

Please make time to watch the video directly below. It has been around for a month already, but other videos that interview this lawyer have been blocked already on Y *u T * be.

He has successfully sued Deutschbank and VW  in the past , and won, so he is not just a small-time lawyer. He is working with three other lawyers — together they are suing Germany for perpetuating this fake p*n d* m*c.

He goes into details about the fake positive test, how it got started and by whom and why, and he identifies who the puppets are, but we still need law suits to find out who is really pulling the strings. Thankfully, lawyers all over the world are preparing lawsuits against their own governments now, as well, based on all this information that the mainstream media is trying hard to block from you.

And my guess is that, whoever is behind the virus fr*ud is also behind the US el*c t*on fr*ud.

FOLLOW THE FUCKING $$$

Also: LISTEN!! He explains it all again here — there is NOTHING to be afraid of! Except the fucking vaccine!!!!

 

Happy Rainy Veteran’s Day in Crazeysburg!!

Yes, today is Veteran’s Day here in the  United States.

It might interest you to know that I had fathers, grandfathers, great-grandfathers, and great-great-great-grandfathers who served in all the major wars here in the US.

This means that in the Revolutionary War, the Civil War, WWI, WWII, the Korean War, and the Vietnam War, the men in my family were serving. Just in terms of the historical value of that, I find that pretty impressive. (I, of course, am a pacifist. I’m guessing that comes as no surprise to anyone.) Still, I think that in terms of the history of the United States, that is a pretty impressive record of involvement in the destiny of a country.

(I think it’s also interesting to note that since I was born illegitimate, I am not entitled to be an official Daughter of the American Revolution, however, technically, I am one.) (Meaning, there is no father listed on my birth certificate.) (My birth certificate would break your heart. Under father it lists: NONE. Under mother it lists my mother’s name, then it says: AGE: 13.  It would make you cry. It made me cry, for sure.)

Okay. The worst possible news is that the rest of the entirety of my maple leaves fell from my tree at the same time, and I once more have more dead leaves on my front sidewalk than you can possibly imagine. I’m going to have to do something about that and I am not sure what. Raking might actually have to occur. Unless God blesses me tomorrow with an unbelievable gust of relentless wind lasting for a couple of hours. We can only hope… But I seriously doubt my neighbors are going to put up with me and my no-raking policy for very much longer. (And I can’t afford to buy that leaf blower/vacuum/mulcher right this very minute.)

Well, okay.  So I was just kidding when I said that was the worst possible news.  Because, actually, if you’ve been listening to Dan Bongino or the X22Report, you know that this country is in a really dire situation that is set to explode into all out rioting and complete censorship of the President if Trump indeed wins the election.

It is being recommended that you have all your Government alerts switched to “ON” on your cell phones. (No joke.) So that you can receive actual government information if the fall-out is as bad as they are thinking ti will be.

If you get your email through Yahoo, you’ll notice the extreme level of disinformation and censorship going on right now. It’s not only appalling, it is indeed scary. The amount of information they are literally trying to block Americans from accessing. I’m guessing (for real) that if I don’t stop blogging about this stuff, my blog will disappear in the coming fall-out if Trump ends up winning.

(For instance, it was one of my previous blogs that caused me to be a victim of voter fraud several years ago.  Meaning that when I went to the polls to vote, my name had been stricken from the voting records, even though I had voted many times previously. And then my name was mysteriously returned to the voting records once it was a Primary vote and not a Presidential election.  This was because they knew who I was, who I was voting for, and where I was voting, because I used to be exceedingly candid on my blog and thousands of people read it every day. I have since tried really, really hard to keep a much lower profile online.)

And along those lines, I also cancelled my twitter account. I am so sick of that censorship they are doing to people, including the President, and it is not a glitch. It’s censorship of actual people expressing their views.

And once the reading of my play is over, I will be cancelling (to the best of my ability) my facebook account, as well. The only social media I really enjoy is Instagram and I try really hard not to get political there. (I’m not always successful.)

Okay, so.

I’m guessing that you’ve all heard that Pfizer and people like the Governor of NY State are trying to claim that the COVID vaccine did not occur under Trump’s Administration. And was not part of Trump’s “Operation Warp Speed” vaccine agenda, set back in May.

And perhaps you’ve also heard that the vaccine has been ready but Pfizer refused to announce it until after election day because they wanted it to be part of Biden’s “win.”

If you live in a country that had to go back into lockdown recently, I hope you are seriously angry about this.  This type of blatant anti-Trump garbage perhaps resulted in more contagions and maybe even cost human lives.

That’s how bad it is: Don’t release the vaccine until the fix is in and Trump appears to have lost the election… (Please tell me you’re angry about this, even if you don’t like Trump.) (And multiply this times every single obstructive and violent thing the Left has done during the Trump presidency to make it appear as if Trump is a lousy president, when in fact, he’s been a really effective one — and then you will get a small idea of how it feels to live in America these days.)

Below, I will post the latest episodes from Bongino and the X22Report and DiamondandSilk. (The X22Report will make you cringe as well as want to vomit…) (By the way, you can keep up on all this yourself if you go to rumble dot com.)

Okay!! GREAT NEWS!!

At 5am on Thanksgiving morning (yes, why wouldn’t you be awake at 5am on a national holiday???), Nick Cave is doing another one of those listening parties on BadSeed TeeVee!!

This time, we will be listening to the album Murder Ballads (1996 by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds). And guess who will be chatting with Nick Cave??? Blixa Bargeld and Mick Harvey!!! How fucking cool, right??!!

I, for one, cannot wait to be up and on Bad Seed TeeVee at 5am on a national holiday!! (Keep in mind, the times are different depending on where in the world you live!!)

Cold Cases II – Murder Ballads

Well, all righty.

Yes, I know. I now have several deadlines for erotic short stories. So it might behoove me to stop spending so much time listening to DiamondandSilk, and Dan Bongino, and the X22Report, etc., etc., and get back to work around here!! We will see how that goes. (For instance: how can you turn something like this off?  DiamondandSilk reported last evening that 14,000 dead people voted for Biden in Detroit, alone. It’s posted below.) (Lots and lots of dead people are voting in this election, gang. And every single one of them voted for Biden. I’m not sure that 14,000 voted in Detroit, but that’s what they reported.)

Anyway. On we go.  I’m gonna get started here. Have a happy Wednesday wherever you are in the world!! Thanks for visiting. I love you guys, See ya!

“The Last DJ”

Well you can’t turn him into a company man
You can’t turn him into a whore
And the boys upstairs just don’t understand anymore
Well the top brass don’t like him talking so much
And he won’t play what they say to play
And he don’t want to change what don’t need to change
And there goes the last DJ
Who plays what he wants to play
And says what he wants to say
Hey, hey, hey
And there goes your freedom of choice
There goes the last human voice
There goes the last DJ
Well some folks say they’re gonna hang him so high
Because you just can’t do what he did
There’s some things you just can’t put in the minds of those kids
As we celebrate mediocrity all the boys upstairs want to see
How much you’ll pay for what you used to get for free
And there goes the last DJ
Who plays what he wants to play
And says what he wants to say
Hey, hey, hey
And there goes your freedom of choice
There goes the last human voice
And there goes the last DJ

Well he got him a station down in Mexico
And sometimes it will kinda come in
And I’ll bust a move and remember how it was back then
There goes the last DJ
Who plays what he wants to play
And says what he wants to say
Hey, hey, hey
And there goes your freedom of choice
There goes the last human voice
And there goes the last DJ

© 2002 Tom Petty

Life Goes On

Indeed, it does.

I have to say, it was a very interesting feeling, having no Internet access in my house for the first time in a really long time. Just that reminder about how much of my life is now online. But also how quiet it is when there is no Internet.

It is a somber day here in the US, of course.

All I will say is that these last 4 years –even while I didn’t vote for Trump in 2016 — were the best years of my life here in America. I could easily afford a home. I could afford my taxes. I could afford to lease a nice car. Absolutely everyone I knew had access to good jobs. Everyone’s income flowed.

And the other thing I’m going to say is that Nixon was impeached over far less criminal behavior than the allegations looming in Senate Investigative reports over Hillary, Biden, and Obama. But the people vote for them anyway.

I’ll also say that it was a frightening  feeling, to wake up this morning in an allegedly free country and not have access to any actual news. And my Internet has been completely restored, so it’s not that the devices I own can’t receive news, it’s that for the first time in my lifetime here in the US, I could not access any real news on a decidedly important morning.

Scary shit.

Let’s just hope that whichever powers end up being in charge, they won’t renew their antagonism towards pornographers.

I hope you are all having a good day, wherever you are in the world. Thanks for visiting. I love you guys. See ya.

“American Girl”

Well, she was an American girl
Raised on promises
She couldn’t help thinkin’ that there
Was a little more to life somewhere else
After all, it was a great big world
With lots of places to run to
And if she had to die tryin’
She had one little promise she was gonna keepOh yeah, all right
Take it easy, baby
Make it last all night (Make it last all night)
She was an American girl

Well, it was kind of cold that night
She stood alone on her balcony (Ooh)
Yeah, she could hear the cars roll by
Out on 441 like waves crashin’ on the beach
And for one desperate moment there
He crept back in her memory
God, it’s so painful when something that is so close
Is still so far out of reach

Oh yeah, all right
Take it easy, baby
Make it last all night (Make it last all night)
She was an American girl (Ooh)

© 1976 Tom Petty

Thank Heaven for Sundays!!

I am really excited because this afternoon, there is a tech meeting on Zoom regarding the staged reading of my play, Tell My Bones (coming up free online November 22nd).

This is the first time I will be listening in and seeing who all these people are who are bringing this whole thing together.  I know the director, of course, but there is a producer, a stage manager, an assistant stage manager, an assistant to the director, a musical director, and a person who manages and coordinates the streaming platform we’re using — called StreamYard. (All of the tech people are based in NY.)

So, that’s a lot of people on board, and it doesn’t even count the eleven actors, of whom I only know Sandra.

It is just all really, really exciting to me, gang. I’m trying to focus on that and not on the state of the virus– although, I am still really grateful that here in Muskingum County we only have one new active case. The statistics were released Friday and while it still makes me really happy, I still find it so hard to believe the county has been relatively unscathed by the pandemic. (Well, in terms of human lives, not in terms of what it’s costing everyone financially & spiritually.)

Well, yesterday wound up being mostly about me laying around in bed, sleeping a lot — stemming from stuff related to the fall I took the other day. But later in the afternoon, I got a lot of housecleaning done downstairs, so that felt really good. So much dust everywhere from having all those windows open for 6 months. And as I was cleaning, I was kind of hoping that my birth mom will come back to visit for Christmas (the last time I really dusted!!), but I’m guessing everything has to be played by ear now because of the virus.

[Flashback to last Christmas with my birth mom, who is a patient and diligent Christmas decorator!!]

The trees, decorated!

I don’t really have much else to say today.  I need to get stuff ready for a phone chat with the director before the Zoom meeting. So I’m gonna scoot & get more coffee.

I hope you’re all having a great Sunday, wherever you are in the world. Thanks for visiting, gang. I leave you with my breakfast-listening music from this morning — still listening to Hard Promises here — Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, 1981. Here’s another really great one from that album, “A Thing About You.” And I mean it with all my heart!!! So, cast your memory back to 1981! Turn it up loud and enjoy. I love you guys. See ya!

“A Thing About You”

I’m not much on mystery
Yeah you gotta be careful what you dream
I thought this might pass with time
Yeah I thought I was satisfied

[Chorus:]
But oh baby let me tell you, I got a thing about you
Baby let me tell you, I got a thing about you
It don’t matter what you say
It don’t matter what you do
I, I, I, got a thing about you

Somewhere deep in the middle of the night
Lovers hold each other tight
Whisper in their anxious ears
Words of love that disappear

[Chorus]

Baby you hold some strange control over me
Yeah it’s so wild it hypnotizes me

[Chorus]

© 1981 Tom Petty

An Odd But Lovely Little Morning in Crazeysburg!

The good news is that the official publishing contract for 1954 Powder Blue Pickup came through during the night, so it is now signed and returned!!! I am just super excited about that, gang. I really love that crazy little book.

It is filthy as hell, with a minimal story arc — although it does have a couple of character arcs, so that’s pretty cool! But seriously, I absolutely love that book. And even if I hadn’t written it, I would read it and think, Wow, this is the best book I’ve ever read!! And then I’d wonder, Wow, who wrote this amazing book? And then I’d get on Kickstarter and start a fundraiser to make a documentary film all about the obscure writer of 1954 Powder Blue Pickup, the best book ever written.

You know, this is kind of interesting. Many years ago, I wrote an erotic short story, published by an underground zine in San Fransisco, and it was loosely based on a boy I used to babysit when I was 16, who had a serious crush on me. And he was like the horniest little kid, ever.  Which presented a serious challenge to me because I am absolutely 100% not a pedophile. And even at age 16, I was extremely maternal.

The last I had heard about him, back in the 1980s after I moved to NYC, was that he had joined the Navy and I remember thinking how odd it was that they allowed 10-year-old boys to join the Navy — because I simply could not believe he was already old enough to join the Navy. But the story I wound up writing stemmed more from that thought that he actually was old enough to be in the Navy.

Anyway, I found out a couple weeks ago that he is still alive, and still lives in Ohio, although he lives up in Cleveland now — AND — he’s a really powerful State Supreme Court Judge. I found that really just astounding and really kind of amusing. Remembering what he was like as an indescribably horny 10-year-old.

Ah well. Life does indeed go on. But I saw a photo of him and he has all this grey hair now, but he looks really kind and compassionate. Like he is probably a very good Judge.

Well, my dinner last night with Kevin did not happen because the worst storm imaginable suddenly blew in out of nowhere. Torrential rain, thunder, lightning, and really strong winds. The wind was blowing everything, everywhere.  So we postponed the dinner, which disappointed me because I really wanted an update on my play, plus he has those promotional postcards ready for me to start sending out. But the cool news is that I saw 3 rainbows while the storm was in the process of passing over.

Literally, 3 rainbows. And I have not seen a rainbow since I was about 9 years old. It was so cool.

And my other friend Kevin is supposed to fly back from Montana today, although he isn’t planning on staying in Ohio for very long. So I’m not sure when he’s planning to come out here and get his 1965 VW camper van from out of my barn. But whenever he does make it out here, I know he will be impressed with the barn’s new roof, and the new barn door! Plus, it will be really nice to see him.

Well, that’s kind of it around here today, gang. I’ve had sort of an odd morning here.  As usual, I’ve been up and out of bed since 4am, but for the most part, I sat on my bed in the dark, drank my coffee and stared out the window at the wind blowing the branches of the maple tree outside my window. Even with that terrible wind last evening, most of its leaves are still on the branches. So it was sort of hauntingly beautiful to look at.

And while I sat and stared, I listened to “Insider” by Tom Petty (with a supporting vocal by Stevie Nicks, 1981), over and over. I’m not a huge Stevie Nicks fan at all, but I do love how she sounded when she sang with Tom Petty.

Anyway, I listened to that for quite a long time and I grappled with reality — but mostly the reality that other people consider “reality,” not necessarily the reality that I call reality. And I guarantee you, those are two distinctly parallel lines that will never meet. So I either go crazy trying to see the world the way other people see it, or just mind my own business and keep to myself and let life happen and just sit here and write and go less crazy. Even though that version is extremely lonely.

So it’s a weird morning here. But I do hope to spend some time focusing on “Novitiate” (the new erotic short story in progress) and maybe even making some good progress with that. We shall see.

Meanwhile, have a nice Saturday, wherever you are in the world, gang. Thanks for visiting. I leave you with my sitting-in-the-dark-drinking-coffee-and-staring-out-at-the-tree music from this morning, in those wee hours before dawn! Listen, ponder, enjoy!! I love you guys. See ya.

“Insider”

You’ve got a dangerous background
And everything you’ve dreamed of
Yeah you’re the Dark Angel
It don’t show when you break up
and I’m the one who ought to know
I’m the one left in the dust
Yeah I’m the broken-hearted fool
Who was never quite enough

[Chorus:]
I’m an insider, I been burned by the fire
And I’ve had to live with some hard promises
I’ve crawled through the briars — I’m an insider

It’s a circle of deception
It’s a hall of strangers
It’s a cage without a key
You can feel the danger
And I’m the one who ought to know
I’m the one you couldn’t trust
I’m the lonely silent one
I’m the one left in the dust

[Chorus]

I’ll bet you’re his masterpiece
I’ll bet you’re his self-control
Yeah you’ll become his legacy
His quiet world of white and gold
And I’m the one who ought to know
I’m the one you left to rust
Not one of your twisted friends
I’m the one you couldn’t love

[Chorus]

© 1981 Tom Petty

How Do We Get Back There?

First, I want to say once again that I love Instagram. I really do. The degree to which I despise Facebook is the degree to which I love Instagram. And beyond.

People — total strangers — on Instagram are so kind. The same young man who has that page that quoted Neptune & Surf the other day, sent me a meditation download early this morning because I’d had a terrible night — mostly because of pain in my leg where I fell the other day, but also just stress. And this afternoon, I’m being interviewed on one of M. Christian’s podcasts, and we’ll mostly be talking about The Guitar Hero Goes Home.

And all the pain and lack of sleep and stress left me feeling remarkably brain dead. And not in the best shape for an interview.

So the guy (he’s very private so I won’t say too much about him), sent me this wonderful MP3 file to help me meditate and get in better mental shape for the interview. It meant so much to me, you know.  He is always so kind to me, and I’m easily old enough to be his grandmother (okay, well, maybe a really young, youthful, incredibly vibrant grandmother with a seriously bruised thigh…).

And we’ll probably never, ever even meet because he lives far, far away. In the Middle East, in a country where American Jews (by birth, anyway — I don’t practice it anymore) are not likely to ever travel to anymore. Ever. Such is politics.

Anyway, his constant kindness means a lot to me. Especially on this particular morning, which is the anniversary of my friend Paul’s death. 21 years ago today. I miss him so much. He was my best-est friend in the whole entire world, from age 17 on. He was always there for me, always had my back, never ever once fucked with my head or played any fucked up games with me.  And he was also the first in line to let me know when he thought I was going down a bad road, or making a bad decision, or being bitchy. He was always just totally honest with me.

And he was so fucking funny. I miss all of it, so much. There is no one in my life who has come close to taking his place.

When we first found out that he was dying, I began spiraling downward immediately and didn’t come out of it for years.  It took him 7 years to actually die. He deteriorated slowly. But I started in with bourbon immediately. Bourbon in my coffee in the morning, bourbon in the afternoon, cocktails at night. And I started smoking with a vengeance, too. And I hardly ate. And I lost a ton of weight, even though I wasn’t overweight when I started. But I only behaved that way when he wasn’t around. If he was around, I tried to act like I was totally brave, you know?

He lived in a beach house on Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina. And toward the end of his life, he and I walked along the beach one winter morning, and he wanted to make sure I was going to be okay when he was gone.

Of course, I lied. I wanted him to feel okay about dying. But I knew I was never going to be all right.

Well, I take care of myself. I survive. I go on. I create, etc., etc. But in all honesty, it has never been the same.

And this is not the frame of mind I want to be in before an interview you know?? I don’t want to go on record saying that life sucks…

So I am trying to get myself together here today.

Well. Blixa Bargeld released a video discussing his upcoming writing plans.  You can watch it on his web site. Or here:

And you can also support his many projects by being a contributing supporter. (€10 a month.)

Also, Nick Cave sent out a Red Hand File today, wherein he discusses catastrophe, suffering, the pandemic, creativity, life on Earth and trying to survive it. (I am greatly paraphrasing. You can read it for yourself here, though. It was quite sobering.)

Okay, so. I need to go over some extensive notes Peitor sent me from West Hollywood yesterday, as we get ever closer to resuming production/writing for Abstract Absurdity Productions. And after the interview for the podcast (it’s being pre-recorded — when it is available to download I will let you know!!), I will focus on trying to make some significant headway with “Novitiate.” (My new erotic short story, in progress.)

And I really, really hope I can salvage this weird, weird morning. (Plus, I am once again trying to come to terms with a decision I have to make — that is only going to break my own heart. But I feel like it’s the right thing to do.  But it is hard enough to keep the color in my world as it is. But onward…)

Okay. Have a really good Thursday, wherever you are and with whatever you might be grappling with out there in the world.  I leave you with the song that helped me survive yesterday. (I take it one day at a time, most days.) Even though it made me miss everybody who has passed away, including Tom Petty, it still helped. “Keeping Me Alive” (1982), from off of his posthumous An American Treasure album  (2018). He is so full of life here. All of it was still ahead of him. So enjoy.  All righty. Thanks for visiting. I love you guys. See ya.

“Keeping Me Alive”

They said love was a thing of the past
That these days nothing ever lasts
This old world is moving too fast

Well sometimes we ride around
She plays her radio up loud
If I was sad, well, I’m happy now

And it feels so good to know
I got you where you belong
Here in my heart, right by my side
Honey you’re getting me by
Yeah you’re keeping me alive

I got a job, I work hard
These days the money don’t go very far
It’s hard enough keeping gas in the car

But sometimes we ride around
She plays the radio up load
If I was sad, well, I’m happy now

Yeah and it feels so good to know
I got you where you belong
Here in my heart, right by my side
Honey you’re getting me by
Yeah you’re keeping me alive

And it feels so good to know
I got you where you belong
Here in my heart, right by my side
Honey you’re getting me by
Yeah you’re keeping me alive
Yeah you’re keeping me alive
Yeah you’re keeping me alive

© 1982 Tom Petty

A Gentle Little Sunday in the Hinterlands

Okay, gang. Happy Sunday!

It is so quiet and lovely and autumnal around here this morning. I am really in “slow” mode, just taking it easy.

Oh, guess what? After refusing to get on my bathroom scale for a couple of months now because of all that frustrating COVID 19 weight that I couldn’t seem to budge, I decided to weigh myself today and I’m at my goal weight. The weight I prefer to be at all the time  when there is no fucking virus going around. This means I lost 13 pounds without even trying. So even while the virus is starting to spike again the world over, I lost my stupid COVID weight. Yay.

Before I forget, M. Christian has a reading of a brand new queer/BDSM/cyberpunk story, “Kintsugi,” that just went live on the Nobilis Sci-Fi Erotica Podcast. (Chris is not reading it, Nobilis is reading it.) You can listen to it here:

And speaking of erotica… it was slow-going with “Novitiate” yesterday. (My current erotic short story that is in progress.) (Oh, I also noticed that many typos occur, and one occurred in the excerpt I posted here the other day — where I suddenly call “Paula” by the name of “Paul,” which makes for an interesting and rather abrupt plot twist. However, it is actually just Paula, throughout! I’ve made the correction to the excerpt.)

Anyway, I hope I make better progress with the story today. I know what I want to say, but so many scenes seem to want to collide in my head at once, and not all of them really need to be in the story. So I am having trouble sorting it all out and then getting it onto the page in a way that I actually like.

On a different note, last evening I began streaming a re-edited documentary on The Monkees. (Hey, Hey We’re the Monkees, originally made in 1997.) I’m not sure if I’ll keep watching it or not. Two of the Monkees are now dead (Davy Jones and Peter Tork), and who knows if the remaining two have now changed their view on the whole experience. But I think I might just like to keep enjoying the reruns and remembering how happy that show made me in my childhood.

Amazon.com: The Hey, Hey We're the Monkees: The Monkees, Davy Jones,  Michael Nesmith, Peter Tork, Micky Dolenz, Paul Mazursky, Ward Sylvester,  Peter Noone, Don Kirshner, Bobby Hart, Jeff Barry, Chip Douglas, David

I did already know that the actors were not 100% happy with the experience of being a “Monkee”, but I’m not sure I need to know every single bit of it. We’ll see, I guess. (For instance, Mike Nesmith has maintained over the years that the album More of the Monkees was one of the worst albums in the history of the world. When, in fact, it is one of the best. And back in the early 1980s, when I was a folksinger in Greenwich Village, Peter Tork sometimes played one of the clubs I played at, and he was really just a basket case, mentally, at that point in his life. And it stemmed from the whole Monkees experience.)

And I never did get to finish watching the Ronnie Wood documentary last week, which kind of sucks. Because it wasn’t my fault that the darn stream kept buffering until it finally just froze up. And then I never got time to get back to it during that window of 72 hours. However, I did really love the Bill Wyman documentary, and that Brian Jones documentary, sad as it was. So I guess I’ll survive!

Okay. I think that’s really it for today, gang. I guess I will get my Sunday morning started here (I’ve actually been up for 6 hours already, so that gives you an idea of just how slow I am taking things today!) I hope you have a wonderful Sunday going on, wherever you are in the world. Thanks for visiting.  I leave you with a song I’ve left you with many times before, but it always makes me feel really good about Tom Petty, so here it is again. “You and Me,” from off of his Last DJ album of 2002. All righty, enjoy. I love you guys. See ya!

Two Super Frosty Mornings In A Row!

Yes, by midday yesterday, I actually broke down and turned on the furnace. It was really unbelievably frosty in this house yesterday!

By tomorrow, the temperatures will be getting back to the normal September weather, but last night (and tonight again) it actually got down into the 30s Fahrenheit… my poor cats, right? So I had to turn on the heat.

The main reason I hate having that furnace on, and always put it off until the final moment, is that it messes with my sinuses like you wouldn’t believe. (By January, I usually start getting nose-bleeds that last until I can finally turn that furnace off.) ( I really really just love fresh air.)  (Even this morning, I woke up at 5am, wondering why I couldn’t breathe and then remembered that the furnace was on…)

And now I am facing the awesome task of once again cutting back the hydrangea bush for the season. The blossoms have all turned to that greenish-pink color now, and are all bent over. I am going to try to get to it during the week. It is such a massive plant now that I can’t even imagine where I will start! I guess that I’ll just “start.”

(How it looked when it was finally in full bloom in August; it got to be 8 ft tall this year)

That first summer when I bought the house, it didn’t bloom anywhere near this astoundingly.  I don’t think anyone had really taken care of it in years.  But I began cutting it back that first fall, and these past two summers it has just exploded with growth and blossoms. I really just love this plant.

So, I got great work done on the novella yesterday (1954 Powder Blue Pickup). I sat and stared at it for several hours yesterday morning, before it came to me to move that part where  his girl does that unexpected thing to after the gangbang section. Because, honestly, I could not figure out for the life of me how to move anything forward. So it finally occurred to me to just rearrange stuff.

And then 9 hours later… I was done writing for the day. So I was happy.

All right, well, I don’t want to become a stalker or anything, but that blond teenage boy down the street is just too awesome. Now that I know what house he lives in, I can’t help but be looking right at it every time I get up from my desk and look out that window. And yesterday, in that unbelievably gorgeous (although cool) weather, he was out there washing and waxing that electric blue Honda Civic that his mom drive’s from the Honda dealership.  (See how, without even trying, I’m starting to learn all this weird stuff about their lives?? And I don’t even have a clue who they are! I wonder how much I would learn if I actually was stalking him…)

Well, he did an amazing job with that car. And it made me wish so much that I had a kid who would wash & wax my Honda civic!! Because mine is Molten-Lava, which is a color and intensely sparkly finish that makes “a bold sparkly statement” and draws attention and I never wash it. I have had it a year now and it has only been washed twice in that year.

Mostly this is because there has been a pandemic going on for 6 months of that year, but also because that first summer I was here in the house, the garden spigot was making me insane and always turning itself on by accident, without me knowing it had done that until after it had run up a fortune on my water bill. So I had the spigot removed, and had a turn-off valve installed just inside the basement where the spigot connects to the main water line, but then never had a new spigot put back in so, for now, I have no garden hose, which makes it a colossal pain to try to wash your own car at home.

I just love being a single homeowner.  I absolutely never get around to half the stuff that needs doing around here. Mostly because it would involve me actually getting up from my desk.

And speaking of getting up from my desk…

I guess I will get started here today, do yoga and then get back to work on the novella.

It is just so beautiful outside right now, and it’s supposed to get up to 70 today, so here’s hoping I will breathe just fine for most of the day!! I hope you are enjoying your Sunday, wherever you are in the world. Thanks for visiting. I leave you with my breakfast-listening music from this morning — from an album I was listening to nonstop for most of my 9-hour drive out to Rhinebeck, NY, this time last year to see Nick Cave in Conversation (oh, and also to have that incredibly great meeting with my director in NYC regarding my play Tell My Bones that is indeed moving forward in a way that makes me so unbelievably happy.) (What a difference a year makes, right? Good and not so good, but mostly good.)

Anyway, a very, very favorite song of mine, as well as a total classic from Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, the “live” version of “Southern Accents”. (In the incredibly hard-to-put-down book, Conversations with Tom Petty (2005),  he talked about getting up in the middle of the night, going out to the piano in the other room and suddenly writing this song from start to finish, just like that. It all came out at once — music & lyrics. And then he went right back to bed. And it was the song that finally helped him process his mom’s death. They were from Northern Florida, which, especially back then, was like coming from Southern Georgia — very southern. Well,  I knew none of that stuff until I read that book; until then, I’d just sort of loved the song. Now, I really, really love the song. And of course, it practically became his anthem. Or one of them.)

Anyway!! Enjoy. Have a great day and thanks for visiting. I love you guys. See ya!

“Southern Accents”

There’s a southern accent, where I come from
The young ‘uns call it country, the Yankees call it dumb
I got my own way of talking, but everything gets done
With a southern accent, where I come from

Now that drunk tank in Atlanta is just a motel room to me
Think I might go work Orlando, if them orange groves don’t freeze
Got my own way of working, but everything is run
With a southern accent, where I come from

For just a minute there I was dreaming
For just a minute it was all so real
For just a minute she was standing there, with me

There’s a dream I keep having, where my mama comes to me
And kneels down over by the window, and says a prayer for me
Got my own way of praying, but every one’s begun
With a southern accent, where I come from

Got my own way of living, but everything gets done
With a southern accent, where I come from

© 1985 Tom Petty

My God, People! Yesterday Was Intense!!

First of all, continuing in the happy theme of my post here last night, The Guitar Hero Goes Home is now available everywhere! As an eBook, on Kindle, and as a trade paperback !!!!!

[UPDATE: I have removed the eBook from Smashwords.]

Yay!! Kindle is $2.99,  and the paperback is $9.95

Here are the links:

Trade paperback via Amazon: The Guitar Hero Goes Home

Kindle eBook: The Guitar Hero Goes Home

My test proof for the print edition doesn’t arrive until tomorrow, but I already saw an online proof and I know I’m not going to make any changes, so the fact that it is already for sale is fine.

There are only 2 things that really bother me, that I could not change — the page numbering — where Page 1 begins on the Copyright page. And then the pages that set off the different sections — i.e., Part I, Part II, Part III, etc. — I could not give those their own, stand alone pages. Traditionally, they should appear on the right hand side of the book, with nothing printed on the back of the page. But they wouldn’t allow me to have any blank pages. So I find the formatting weird, but it can’t be changed and it won’t keep me from selling the book.

So it’s ready!!!!

In other brief news — I think I may have a publisher for “Half-Moon Bride”, even as a stand alone short story. I don’t know for sure yet, but I will keep you posted! And if it works out, then it could be likely that all my new hardcore D/s erotica that pushes the boundary of “questionable consent” could have a new home.

After yesterday’s seemingly endless nightmare, just trying to get the fucking eBook published for The Guitar Hero Goes Home, I would be happy to focus on writing as much as I can, and less on publishing when at all possible.

I have not formatted an ePub doc for eBook publishing since upgrading to the Windows 10 laptop. And the upgrade made all my old style-guides for creating ePub docs 100% obsolete.

So, what used to be something I could do almost on automatic, became something I had to learn all over again.

I was not at all in the mood for that yesterday, gang. I was having a seriously not happy day. And almost every single thing I needed to do to format that stupid ePub file got fucked up, and I spent hours sitting here at my desk, pretty much saying “Are you fucking kidding me??!!” every 5 minutes… I had to keep starting over, and starting over, and starting over.

Eventually, I took a piece of a piece of a piece of a Tylenol PM, so that I could at least calm down without actually going to sleep. And I started yet again, and finally figured out what the fuck I was supposed to do to get everything to work right. And at long last, it did.

And so it “went to press” as it were! And since it is not an erotic title, but merely “adult”, it means I did not have to go through the outraging insanity of having the Amazon keyword machine reject the entire manuscript based on a keyword it detected as objectionable yet without enlightening me to what taboo words were triggering the rejection.

Loyal readers of this lofty blog no doubt recall that this happened to me when I published The Muse Revisited, Vol.1 (on both Amazon and Smashwords back in 2012, or whenever it was), but Amazon rejected the manuscript without telling me why.

I eventually discovered, through endless and annoying trials and errors, that the thing that was triggering the rejection was in my short story “Muriel the Magnificent.” When Muriel is 7 years old, she gets a spanking from her dad, with her pants down– and the scene is not erotic at all. In fact, it’s the key scene of the whole story — it sets up Muriel as an adult, who is unable to feel erotic about her own body.  And she finally learns how to open up by accidentally seeing porn on the Internet.

This was back when the Internet was still brand new. And the story was written expressly for a British compilation at Hodder- Stoughton, The New English Library Book of Internet Stories (a non-erotic collection — mine was the only erotic story in there, but it was included because the story was good). And the story was indeed a huge hit. It got picked up as one of the best erotic stories of that year. And by the time I was trying to publish the eBook of  The Muse Revisited, Vol.1  on Amazon, “Muriel the Magnificent” had already been picked up for publication in a few other collections, in the US and overseas — all of which were on sale on Amazon and had been on sale on Amazon for several years.

But since eBooks at Amazon are judged by keyword machines and not human editors,  and since my eBook was labeled as “erotica,” a 7 year-old girl simply can’t get spanked by her dad with her pants down, regardless of the context.  So they spit back the entire book. And kept spitting it back, and kept spitting it back, until I finally figured out what the problem was, and as much as I hated to do it, I had to completely censor that key scene in order to get the book published. (So, yes, if you only know that story from The Muse Revisited collection, you’ve read a censored version of the story.)

Anyway, that’s annoying as hell, but it didn’t happen this time. Yay.

So — The Guitar Hero Goes Home is at long last published. I hope you’ll read it. There is sex in there, gang!! But … alas, not a lot (although there is a really cool spanking scene in it!!) Perhaps that will entice you… (Although it’s between 2 adults and… alas, it is not eroticized. It’s in fact one of those spankings that you don’t want to get…)

But anyway. I’m very happy and I can’t wait to get my test proof of it tomorrow. To hold it in my hot little  hands.

And I’m glad that at least the next 2 publishing projects are not going to require ePub files!! They are strictly POD. Thank God.

Well!! In case you were really busy doing something on July 23rd and weren’t able to catch Nick Cave’s solo concert on Dice — Idiot Prayer: Nick Cave Alone at Alexandra Palace — the Nick Cave website announced this morning that there will be a theatrical release of the concert, starting November 5th, and that there is also an album coming — vinyl, CD, and streaming — November 20th. All the details are here.

I have to say that every time I see the title of that show, I always think it says Nick Cave Alone at “Berlin Alexanderplatz” — which was this amazing TV miniseries from Germany, back in 1980, adapted from a German novel of the same name about Berlin as it gradually falls under Nazi influence. It was directed by Fassbinder. I think you can probably stream it online — and you should, if you can. It was really, really good. However, Nick Cave is not in it, alone or otherwise. (But that should not deter you from broadening your intellectual horizons.)

Well, all righty!!! I need to get started here today. I haven’t done my yoga yet — I guess I’m still in the mindset of rejecting routines.  But I do want to do it since I didn’t do yoga yesterday. And then I need to finally finish “Half-Moon Bride.” Which means we need to have copious amounts of anal sex! Well, the characters do, at any rate. (However, if you’re feeling like your own day needs to move in that direction as well, far be it from me to attempt to dissuade you!!)

To be honest, my life is a little challenging right now, for reasons that I don’t want to post about, so to spend the rest of the day, sitting at my desk, encouraging our 2 love birds to have copious amounts of anal sex, as their wedding night wanes and before the sun comes up and our half-moon bride loses her erection for an entire 30 days… Well, that to me, sounds like a really great way to spend the day.

I hope Thursday is as good to you, wherever you are in the world!! Thanks for visiting, gang. My breakfast-listening music today was once again from Tom Petty & the Heartbreaker’s Live Anthology (2009).  This time, “Square One,” recorded live in Missouri, June 17th, 2006. I hope you enjoy it. It’s a song that gives me a lot of hope. I know, somehow, I’m going to get to a good place. Okay, I love you guys. See ya.

“Square One”

Had to find some higher ground.
Had some fear to get around.
You can say what you don’t know.
Later on won’t work no more.

Last time through I hid my tracks.
So well I could not get back.
Yeah my way was hard to find.
Can’t sell your soul for peace of mind.

Square one, my slate is clear.
Rest your head on me my dear.
It took a world of trouble, took a world of tears.
It took a long time to get back here.

Tried so hard to stand alone.
Struggled to see past my nose.
Always had more dogs than bones.
I could never wear those clothes.

It’s a dark victory.
You won and you are so lost.
Told us you were satisfied,
but it never came across.

Square one, my slate is clear.
Rest your head on me my dear.
It took a world of trouble, took a world of tears.
It took a long time to get back here.

© 2006 Tom Petty