Tag Archives: Nick Cave Red Hand Files

Holy McMoly, Gang! It’s Getting Rough Out There!

First off — yes! I did finish the new erotic short story, “Code,” and turned it in to Volonte last night. I will keep you posted. I was extremely happy with it. I hope they will be, too.

And speaking of my short story, “Code,” I have to resort to more and more of it here. Sorry about that! I don’t want to lose my blog, gang.

If you think that c*ens*orsh*ip ain’t happening here in the US, you’re outta your pea-picking little mind!

Please refer to this article. And take notice of this paragraph:

The OAN president told The Epoch Times late Tuesday that the video was not made public on Y** T*be and was unlisted on the platform “for review by internal OAN staff only.”

I’m sorry to have to say this yet again, gang. But: they are coming for your rights to fr**speech, even fr** thought and private forums, and the right to assemble. It is serious and you should be fucking ALARMED. They do not want ANY useful and truthful information regarding C* VID getting out to the mainstream public. Once they find out that there AREN’T huge numbers of people dying anymore, then — oops! — maybe the el*ct*on was a fr*ud, too…

Operation C*VID Panic in full swing…

Please remember to use d*ck d*ck go for your news searches, otherwise you will only find propaganda.

Join P*rler and rumble dot com, if you haven’t already. Millions of people have joined already and now the mainstream media is trying to smear them, too.

I was actually talking to a tech guy the other day — an educated young white guy with a successful tech company, and he happened to say, mockingly, that “P*rler is for crazy people who just want to complain.”

I looked at him sort of deadpan, and said, “Actually, I’m on P*rler and it’s not like that at all. It’s about free speech.”

He was clearly stunned that I am on P*rler.

People! I am happy that there has been such an overwhelming response to the staged reading of my play, Tell My Bones. I truly, truly am. It means a lot to me. But I earn my living, world-wide, from my hardcore erotica. And have for over 30 years. I rely on the US Constitution. I rely on freedom of speech — for me and for everyone else (in the world, frankly, but in this country, it is still a legal right).  Of course, I am going to be on P* rler!

Okay.

Since the more I post here, the greater I run the risk of getting flagged, c*nsored, removed, you must rely on the videos below to get most of the news I think you will want to hear. Primarily about the f*ke C* VID p*n d*m*c, the massive v*t*r fr*ud, and c*ncorsh*ip.

The X*2 R*p*rt last night was truly eye-opening. However, they were all really good. I especially loved B*ng*no’s advice to small business owners in Airstrip One — open all at once! They can’t stop all of you, at the same time!

In fact, here’s something related. People in L*s Ang*l*s are really starting to fight back.

And in case you haven’t heard yet — the economy is still in great shape here. The stock market hit a record high yesterday — the highest it’s ever been in history. This economy happening under Tr**p.

All right, remember, gang. Read. Think. Observe. Ask yourself why the things you’re experiencing and hearing about from your neighbors don’t add up to what you’re being told on TV.  (i.e., yesterday,  an older woman, a lady I don’t even know, was actually distraught. She said, “My daughter-in-law tested positive for C* VID, but she feels fine. And my son and grandsons tested negative. They live in the same house and don’t wear m*sks at home. I know people who are testing positive and they feel just fine and the people all around them are testing negative. Why are they making us wear these m*asks? I feel like I’m being lied to.”

I said under my breath, “Oh god, don’t get me started…”

She looked at me with alarm (I could only see her eyes because of course she was wearing a m* sk), and she said, “No, tell me. If you know something I should know about, you have to tell me.”

People are starting to see that what they’re hearing doesn’t equal what they’re experiencing. Read it again, gang. It’s not simply a classic book…

BBC's The Beauty of Books: Penguin, Orwell, and the Paperback Cover Design  Revolution | Scary books, Horror books, Books

Read. Think. Observe. And then remind yourself that you have the inalienable right to be free.

Okay, Nick Cave sent out an amazing Red Hand File yesterday.  It was just beautiful. It meant so much to me — it really resonated on so many deep levels. You can read it here if you so choose!

And then Cave Things sent out some awesomely cool ideas for Christmas!! Including the “best bunny bowl by rock star ever”:

And don’t forget!! Tomorrow morning, at the wee bonny hour of 5 am Eastern Time,  be in the chat room on Bad Seed TeeVee:

Cold Cases II – Murder Ballads

All righty, gang. thanks for visiting. I love you guys. See ya.

Oops! We Might have Been A Little Pre-Occupied!

My new publisher emailed me yesterday, wondering where the book blurbs were for my new erotic (very long) short story, “Half-Moon Bride,” and my erotic novella, 1954 Powder Blue Pickup. Both of which are being published later this month.

Please consult your calendars and note that it is already November 17th…. !!!

It almost seems like I totally forgot because I’ve been way too involved in being a d*g*tal soldier in the ongoing attempted coup d’etat!!

Ooops!!!

So I gotta get those blurbs written here this morning, ASAP, before the editors get to their desks.

And, also, please, gang — don’t forget that the staged reading of my play, Tell My Bones, happens this coming Sunday evening (7pm Eastern Time). You can RSVP to receive the link to the streaming event — it is ALL FREE!!

Okay, so was there news yesterday, or what? Man. I could hardly take it all in.

If you’re new to the conversation, or just now realizing that the US is in the midst of a floundering coup, the best advise anyone can give or receive right now is to stay away from mainstream media.

This is information warfare, of the worst kind — blatant lies are being generated. Seek sources that do not claim that B* den is the pr*s* dential E*l*ct.

He is not. Nothing gets decided — in the best of times, which these are not — until December 14th. That is the law.

Also — watch out for Operation C* VID Panic. It is in full swing now.

99% of C* VID cases recover.

M* sks do not work. M* sks equal a violation of free speech.

L* ck d* wns do not work. They equal a violation of your right to assemble.

Spikes in C* VID? Really? False positives, anyone?? El*n M*sk, anyone? Multiplied by actual conversations with tiny town nurses on the front lines here in Ohio…

Also —

26,000 heart attack deaths were falsely attributed to C* VID in the US.

7000 deaths by poisoning were falsely attributed to C* VID here in the US.

At least one congenital heart failure death, right here in the Hinterlands, falsely attributed to C* VID, so I know it is happening.

Vaccines that are now 90 and 95% effective against the virus will be ready for the front line workers  in December. There will be 25 million doses generated every month.

99% of the virus cases are not lethal.  It is like having the flu. If you are hospitalized, therapeutics are now available to help cure you, if you are not at-risk from other life-threatening complications (just like the flu).

The stock market is at a record high.  They expect to break another record today. Fewer and fewer people are dwindling away on unemployment here in the US; a whole lot of people have gone back to work.

    • M* sks do not work. M* sks equal a violation of free speech.
    • L* ck d* wns do not work. They equal a violation of your right to assemble.

So why was the entire State of California put into extreme l*ck d* wn again yesterday?

Why are (certain) Governors behaving almost as if they are a Socialist reg *me?

Curiouser and curiouser, gang. Although not at all amusing to those who are experiencing l* ck d*wns for no valid reasons whatsoever. (Ohio is also having renewed issues now, too. So far, no l* ck d* wns, though.)

Remember: if this stuff worked, there wouldn’t be these renewed (alleged) spikes of the virus.  (Yes, a virus that now has vaccines and therapeutics to treat it.) People, please use your heads on this, regardless of your political affiliations in “normal” times.

Operation C*VID Panic in progress…

Okay. So. Nick Cave sent out a really cute Red Hand File yesterday, about humor and haikus. You can read it here.

And don’t forget, next Thursday morning — yes, Thanksgiving!! At the refreshing hour of 5am, if you live in the Eastern Time Zone — Nick Cave, Blixa Bargeld, and Mick Harvey will be deconstructing Murder Ballads in the chat room on Bad Seed TeeVee!! I, for one, just can’t wait!

Cold Cases II – Murder Ballads

 

 

All righty. Let me get to work here on those book blurbs.

Have a terrific Tuesday, wherever you are in the world. The videos below the music will disturb you but overall, give you a LOT of hope!! Seriously. NO ONE IS ROLLING OVER & PLAYING DEAD. You gotta watch them. Or, as the X *2 R* p*ort said last night, “The evidence will blow the minds of every person in this country…”

Okay, thanks for visiting. I love you guys. See ya!

From Fraud to COVID — Maybe we should pay attention?

Well, all righty!!

First, I have to confess that today is a beautiful day here in Crazeysburg. Sunny; not too hot, not too cold. A perfect day for raking autumn leaves, just like the ones that fell from my 100-year-old, multi-limbed silver maple tree in one gigantic thwump the other day, onto my front sidewalk and tree-lawn.

As sad as it is for me to have to break my sacred “no-raking” policy, it’s kinda looking like I might have to at least make an effort today to get those leaves raked up.  Because it is really just ludicrous, the amount of leaves out there today. And I know that my neighbors are seriously not interested in having any more of my many leaves blown onto their lawns.

So I will at least make an effort to get most of them. Actually, it’ll be nice to be outside today. Plenty of good-looking road-construction workers are still running hither & yon on Basin Street. (It’s actually beginning to look like they will never be finished with whatever the heck it is they’re doing — besides tearing up the street, I mean.)

Okay. Well. I have joined Parler, although I can’t imagine I’m ever going to post anything. For now, I’m just following others. You can subscribe to me if you want to, @Marilynjayelewis. But I honestly don’t know if I will ever post anything. Even though I quit twitter, it was only as a protest to censorship. I rarely ever used it.

It’s interesting to note, though, that since so many people are abandoning twitter in protest and joining Parler, now the mainstream media is of course trying to discredit Parler.

Honestly, it’s not funny — how deeply the censorship, misinformation, and lies are multiplying in the mainstream media now.  It’s kind of scary. Even though I have access to non-mainstream media (tons of it), and I know that more and more people are flocking to it as well, there are still a bunch of Americans who seem to be sticking with the mainstream, who are really going to be in sad psychological shape when/if the riots hit again, worse than it was this past summer.

Although I did notice last evening that a die-hard Biden supporter one block over finally took down her Biden sign…

And along those lines…

The non-mainstream media has been warning that as soon as it looks like Big Media can’t hide the election fraud any longer, they will turn the focus to COVID and make it seem as if it is out of control again.

So it’s funny, how that exact scenario is in fact playing out. Suddenly. COVID is off the charts again, the world over. But what’s interesting, is, if you have a chance to talk to the actual nurses in the hospitals — how many people are at first testing positive for COVID, through the “quick” test. But when they get the more complicated test, they test negative — but only the positive results are getting reported.  Not the negatives that undo the positives.

This is word-of-mouth from actual local nurses here, on the front lines. So now the “massive” new numbers are seriously under suspicion.

(I also know one person here in Ohio whose husband died from congestive heart failure but on his death record the hospital listed his cause of death as COVID. She is fighting to have that removed from his death record, because he did not have COVID and did not die from it. But should we be multiplying that one instance by perhaps many others????)

But in keeping with the onset of “Operation COVID Panic” (my fun words for it!), the Governor of Ohio had a press conference last night, saying that COVID was out of control here in Ohio and that if we didn’t want to go into lockdown again, we all have to wear our masks and practice social distancing and not have visitors over for Thanksgiving…

And then come January, all will be well because our beloved Pfizer has a vaccine for all of us!! Yippee ki yi yay!! (He didn’t say it quite like that but almost…)

(Did you hear that the CEO of Pfizer, the very same CEO that withheld news of the vaccine until after the election, sold 62% of his stake in Pfizer as soon as the vaccine was announced? Speculation is that he did that because he doesn’t really think the vaccine is what’s going to be needed to end the “pandemic.”  That the pandemic is going to take care of itself once the pandemic is not needed anymore — I think that’s spelled B-I-D-E-N.)

That is not my own speculation — however, it is indeed only speculation. So don’t quote me or anything, Just ponder it.

Well, okay.

Yesterday, Nick Cave sent out a Red Hand File about the story behind his very expensive pornographic wallpaper and about how much he loves to have sex with his wife! So you might feel like perusing it here.

The rehearsals of the staged reading of my play, Tell My Bones, continue and I am so grateful to all the actors who have gotten onboard and who are really putting their hearts into this play at breakneck speed. I cannot really tell you just how much it means to me.

I really really hope you’ll all RSVP (for free!!) to watch the streamed event on Sunday evening, November 22nd. (RSVP here)

Other than that, my world has been Bongino and X22Report.  Bongino makes me feel giddy. X22Report makes me feel astounded. Their posts from last night are linked below, for you’re viewing pleasure.

Meanwhile, have a lovely Wednesday, wherever you are in the world!! Thanks for visiting, gang. I love you guys. See ya.

“Positively 4th Street”

You got a lotta nerve
To say you are my friend
When I was down you just stood there grinning
You got a lotta nerve
To say you got a helping hand to lend
You just want to be on the side that’s winning

You say I let you down
You know it’s not like that
If you’re so hurt why then don’t you show it
You say you lost your faith
But that’s not where it’s at
You had no faith to lose and you know it

I know the reason
That you talk behind my back
I used to be among the crowd you’re in with
Do you take me for such a fool
To think I’d make contact
With the one who tries to hide what he don’t know to begin with

You see me on the street
You always act surprised
You say, “How are you? Good luck”
But you don’t mean it
When you know as well as me
You’d rather see me paralyzed
Why don’t you just come out once and scream it

No, I do not feel that good
When I see the heartbreaks you embrace
If I was a master thief perhaps I’d rob them
And now I know you’re dissatisfied
With your position and your place
Don’t you understand it’s not my problem

I wish that for just one time
You could stand inside my shoes
And just for that one moment I could be you
Yes I wish that for just one time
You could stand inside my shoes
You’d know what a drag it is to see you

© 1965 Bob Dylan

Yay! I Won!!

I was super happy to wake-up at 4am this morning, check my email and discover that my new erotic short story, “Score,”  was one of the winners of the Volonte short story contest!

So I am going to be one of the new writers writing for their monthly eNewsletter. (And I believe there will also be audio stories, too.) I will keep you posted, gang. They are out of Sweden, but all of this will be in English. I’m super excited.

Also, in my email this morning, was a new song from the upcoming album Litanies, by Nick Cave and Nicholas Lens. This new piece is titled “Litany of Godly Love” and it is really beautiful. I just love it.

The album seems to be a sort of opera-type thing, or something like that. So I don’t really know yet what these litanies mean or how they are connected, but so far they have dropped two, and both are beautiful but this new one today kind of took my breath away.

And I saw that Nick Cave sent out a new Red Hand File today, too, but I haven’t had a chance to read it yet. However, you can read it here if you so choose!!

Well, the big election news yesterday was from intelligence expert, Steve Pieczenik, and the “ballot watermarks.” But it wasn’t so much what he had to say, but how quickly his interviews were getting blocked by Google and YouTube.

Again — If you don’t use duckduckgo, or a similar private search tool to search for your news, you are missing a lot of what is actually going on in America.

Okay, well I have been learning a lot about human nature the last several days, and also about me and who I really am and how I want to live my life and who I still want to be in the world. I can’t go into details because it involves people who prefer not to be discussed on my blog. But my life is changing. And I’m okay with it.

Sort of a new era for me, finally. More and more, it’s as if the person I’ve been for the last 50 years is dissolving to the background, and the person I was in my childhood — that sort of pure essence of my consciousness — is in tight focus and is who I relate to now as “myself.” Sort of my true Self, before all the garbage set in.

It’s not that I’m going to forget all that I accomplished as an adult, but I find I am connecting emotionally and spiritually now with who I was when I was born and was coming into my own thoughts, my own perspective of life and the outside world.

I feel like I am in a really, really good place now. It only took 60 years.

Okay!

As hard as it is to believe, we have yet another stunning day ahead of us today! Three days running now, of sun and warm weather in November. However, the one downside is that it’s Saturday so all those road-construction workers have the day off and will not be hanging out outside my house today…

With that, I am gonna scoot and get the day underway here! I hope you have a good Saturday, wherever you are in the world, with or without the lockdown. I leave you with my celebratory breakfast-listening music from this morning: “It’s Only Rock & Roll” (1974) by the Rolling Stones, from their mega-hit album of the same name. Listen, enjoy, celebrate!! And thanks for visiting. I love you guys. See ya.

A Perfect Rainy Day Here in the Hinterlands!

For some reason, the rainy  weather seems to have made me really sleepy today. I’m moving at a snail’s pace here. However, the rain is really lovely to look at, since the autumn leaves are now everywhere.

Laundry is now well underway here, and the morning will be spent going over the edits for “Half-Moon Bride,” so that I can get those back to the publisher ASAP. This will be my first time working with this editor so it will be interesting to see the types of changes they suggest making.

I usually just let editors go with whatever they want (within reason, obviously).  Writing & reading are just so subjective, and I’d much rather that an editor feel okay about seeing my name in their inbox over time. As an editor myself, over the years you start to really appreciate writers who are receptive and not difficult or too opinionated. And in the long run, a word change here or there, a sentence change — it really doesn’t add up to much if it’s a good story to begin with.

That said, though, if an editor is just really horrible to work with from the start then you absolutely need to get out of your contract. Nothing good is likely to come from that relationship, ever.

Okay! So. First off, due to lockdown restrictions, cinemas in Germany, France, Belgium and Italy have had to close again. The Nick Cave website sent out this link this morning so that you can stay updated about when the film version of Idiot Prayer – Nick Cave Alone at Alexandra Palace will be rescheduled in your region.

Crazeysburg is not at all affected by the lockdown. Currently, the active virus cases here are still at zero. We are, however, affected by the fact that there is no cinema anywhere close to us for about 50 miles… so Idiot Prayer – Nick Cave Alone at Alexandra Palace will not be showing here anytime soon, with or without a virus.

I’ll try to stick this in here so that it won’t get flagged  — if you are not accessing a news outlet or a social media platform that is allowing you to keep abreast of Tony Bobulinski, you can always use duck duck go to find out about it. This is a man who is now fearing for his life and the lives of his family. No joke.

All righty!

Back to Nick Cave… He sent out a Red Hand File yesterday that was quite beautiful, about his opinion on the state of the world right now.  You can read it at this link here if you so choose!!

Okay, I guess I better scoot, gang. Sorry this is so short. But it feels like everything is just taking forever around here! And the morning is racing by.

Have a lovely Thursday, wherever you are in the world!! I leave you with something lovely to listen to if you, too, have lovely autumn leaves tumbling down where you reside. Nat King Cole, singing “Autumn Leaves.” (Televised, around 1954 or so.) Listen, dream, enjoy. All righty. I love you guys. See ya!

“Autumn Leaves”

The falling leaves drift by the window
The autumn leaves of red and gold
I see your lips, the summer kisses
The sun-burned hands I used to hold

Since you went away the days grow long
And soon I’ll hear old winter’s song
But I miss you most of all my darling
When autumn leaves start to fall

C’est une chanson, qui nous ressemble
Toi tu m’aimais et je t’aimais
Nous vivions tous, les deux ensemble
Toi que m’aimais moi qui t’aimais
Mais la vie sépare ceux qui s’aiment
Tout doucement sans faire de bruit
Et la mer efface sur le sable les pas des amants désunis

© 1945 Jacques Prévert, Joseph Kosma, Johnny Mercer

How Do We Get Back There?

First, I want to say once again that I love Instagram. I really do. The degree to which I despise Facebook is the degree to which I love Instagram. And beyond.

People — total strangers — on Instagram are so kind. The same young man who has that page that quoted Neptune & Surf the other day, sent me a meditation download early this morning because I’d had a terrible night — mostly because of pain in my leg where I fell the other day, but also just stress. And this afternoon, I’m being interviewed on one of M. Christian’s podcasts, and we’ll mostly be talking about The Guitar Hero Goes Home.

And all the pain and lack of sleep and stress left me feeling remarkably brain dead. And not in the best shape for an interview.

So the guy (he’s very private so I won’t say too much about him), sent me this wonderful MP3 file to help me meditate and get in better mental shape for the interview. It meant so much to me, you know.  He is always so kind to me, and I’m easily old enough to be his grandmother (okay, well, maybe a really young, youthful, incredibly vibrant grandmother with a seriously bruised thigh…).

And we’ll probably never, ever even meet because he lives far, far away. In the Middle East, in a country where American Jews (by birth, anyway — I don’t practice it anymore) are not likely to ever travel to anymore. Ever. Such is politics.

Anyway, his constant kindness means a lot to me. Especially on this particular morning, which is the anniversary of my friend Paul’s death. 21 years ago today. I miss him so much. He was my best-est friend in the whole entire world, from age 17 on. He was always there for me, always had my back, never ever once fucked with my head or played any fucked up games with me.  And he was also the first in line to let me know when he thought I was going down a bad road, or making a bad decision, or being bitchy. He was always just totally honest with me.

And he was so fucking funny. I miss all of it, so much. There is no one in my life who has come close to taking his place.

When we first found out that he was dying, I began spiraling downward immediately and didn’t come out of it for years.  It took him 7 years to actually die. He deteriorated slowly. But I started in with bourbon immediately. Bourbon in my coffee in the morning, bourbon in the afternoon, cocktails at night. And I started smoking with a vengeance, too. And I hardly ate. And I lost a ton of weight, even though I wasn’t overweight when I started. But I only behaved that way when he wasn’t around. If he was around, I tried to act like I was totally brave, you know?

He lived in a beach house on Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina. And toward the end of his life, he and I walked along the beach one winter morning, and he wanted to make sure I was going to be okay when he was gone.

Of course, I lied. I wanted him to feel okay about dying. But I knew I was never going to be all right.

Well, I take care of myself. I survive. I go on. I create, etc., etc. But in all honesty, it has never been the same.

And this is not the frame of mind I want to be in before an interview you know?? I don’t want to go on record saying that life sucks…

So I am trying to get myself together here today.

Well. Blixa Bargeld released a video discussing his upcoming writing plans.  You can watch it on his web site. Or here:

And you can also support his many projects by being a contributing supporter. (€10 a month.)

Also, Nick Cave sent out a Red Hand File today, wherein he discusses catastrophe, suffering, the pandemic, creativity, life on Earth and trying to survive it. (I am greatly paraphrasing. You can read it for yourself here, though. It was quite sobering.)

Okay, so. I need to go over some extensive notes Peitor sent me from West Hollywood yesterday, as we get ever closer to resuming production/writing for Abstract Absurdity Productions. And after the interview for the podcast (it’s being pre-recorded — when it is available to download I will let you know!!), I will focus on trying to make some significant headway with “Novitiate.” (My new erotic short story, in progress.)

And I really, really hope I can salvage this weird, weird morning. (Plus, I am once again trying to come to terms with a decision I have to make — that is only going to break my own heart. But I feel like it’s the right thing to do.  But it is hard enough to keep the color in my world as it is. But onward…)

Okay. Have a really good Thursday, wherever you are and with whatever you might be grappling with out there in the world.  I leave you with the song that helped me survive yesterday. (I take it one day at a time, most days.) Even though it made me miss everybody who has passed away, including Tom Petty, it still helped. “Keeping Me Alive” (1982), from off of his posthumous An American Treasure album  (2018). He is so full of life here. All of it was still ahead of him. So enjoy.  All righty. Thanks for visiting. I love you guys. See ya.

“Keeping Me Alive”

They said love was a thing of the past
That these days nothing ever lasts
This old world is moving too fast

Well sometimes we ride around
She plays her radio up loud
If I was sad, well, I’m happy now

And it feels so good to know
I got you where you belong
Here in my heart, right by my side
Honey you’re getting me by
Yeah you’re keeping me alive

I got a job, I work hard
These days the money don’t go very far
It’s hard enough keeping gas in the car

But sometimes we ride around
She plays the radio up load
If I was sad, well, I’m happy now

Yeah and it feels so good to know
I got you where you belong
Here in my heart, right by my side
Honey you’re getting me by
Yeah you’re keeping me alive

And it feels so good to know
I got you where you belong
Here in my heart, right by my side
Honey you’re getting me by
Yeah you’re keeping me alive
Yeah you’re keeping me alive
Yeah you’re keeping me alive

© 1982 Tom Petty

Still Alive & Well!!

Yes! I am talking about the petunias!

There is a layer of frost on my grown-up car this morning. There is frost on the rooftops. Frost on the lawns and on all the autumn leaves lying all over the lawns. And yet, the petunias are doing just fine.

I guess it has to be a real killer “killer frost” to faze these petunias.

So that was a sort of little happy burst of wonder when I went downstairs for breakfast this morning at 4am.

I also saw that another new song was dropped for the upcoming album, Idiot Prayer: Nick Cave Alone at Alexandra Palace. And this one is actually a new song — “Euthanasia.” It was in my Amazon music library this morning. I just love this song. It is so pretty.

And while I’m thinking of it, I forgot to post yesterday that Nick Cave sent out another Red Hand File on Thursday that was very interesting, regarding a reader’s concerns about Narcotics Anonymous and stemming the seemingly endless tide of heroin addiction. You can read it here.

And also this morning, someone from Europe that I follow on Instagram, who only posts photos and quotes (in English) of various  writers and poets from all over the world, asked if he could quote me on his page today. I was so flattered. In all honesty, I love his page because I have found out about some really interesting writers and poets from South America and Europe by following his page.

He quoted from the ending of Neptune & Surf, and I sent him a photo of me, taken by Valerie while we were at Coney Island. This was during the years that I was actually writing Neptune & Surf. (N & S takes place on Coney Island in 1955.) (The photo is from 1994 or 1995.)

Since I now know how to capture people’s Instagram feeds, I share it with you here. (I really was so touched, gang.)

So my morning has been off to a pretty good start around here today.

I’m planning on just spending the day working on the new erotic short story, “Novitiate.” I’m at one of those junctures where the story begins to just go off the charts in terms of the eroticism, so it requires 110,000,000 % of my concentration.  (Luckily, I’m not prone to exaggerate, otherwise I’d probably throw some really huge number out there…)

Okay, now, on a more serious note.  I have to very soberly question what’s up with the new Tom Petty album — Wild Flowers & All the Rest. Slavish devotee of Tom Petty’s that I am, he (and Rick Rubin, the producer) had said over the years that there were something like 25 additional songs that were not included on the original album, but that Tom Petty had wanted to release on a follow-up to Wildflowers some day.

And this new album has been touted for many, many months (years?) as that album. However, even while there are 54 (!!) songs on this new album, there are only 6 (!!) songs on this collection that I would consider to be actually new, never-heard-before songs.

There are many songs that are never-before-heard versions of songs we already know — meaning they are his home demos. Or perhaps songs with their original lyrics, that wound up changing when the songs were eventually released on other albums. Or “live” versions of songs, etc.

But there are only 6 songs that I don’t recall ever hearing before, ever.  So where are the other 19 or so “brand new songs”?

I’m wondering if, next October, when we once more commemorate the anniversary of his death, they will be releasing the all-new Oops We Forgot to Include These follow-up to the follow-up of Wildflowers

I’m not 100% super happy about this, gang.

Anyway.  On we go, right?

Okay, sometime next week, I think I will finally be a guest on one of M. Christian’s podcasts (he co-hosts two podcasts), discussing The Guitar Hero Goes Home, and probably also talking positively about sex-positive topics. I will keep you posted!! I will try hard to speak like a grown-up. We shall see if I succeed or not. (Although I have already told them I will discuss anything except politics and the virus. So I’m not sure if there are any grown-up topics left…)

Regardless, I’m excited!!

Okay, let me get started here, folks. I hope you have a great Saturday underway, wherever you are in the world! I leave you with my breakfast-listening music from this morning. I was once again back to More of The Monkees! This one, another great tune penned by Mike Nesmith, a member of the group, “The Kind of Girl I Could Love”.  I truly love this song, it is so upbeat (well, I love the whole album). Play it loud. And enjoy. Thanks for visiting, gang. I love you guys. See ya!!

“The Kind Of Girl I Could Love”

Girl, you look mighty good to me
And I know that you’ve got to be
The kind of girl I could love.

You’ve got the sweetest pair of eyes
And your kiss would be paradise
The kind of girl I could love.

You do something to my soul
That no one’s ever done.
If you’re looking for true love
Then let me be the one.

Girl, deep in my soul I’m sure
And my heart has no doubt that you’re
The kind of girl I could love.
The kind of girl I could love.
[Repeat and fade]

© 1967 Michael Nesmith, Roger Atkins

In Honor of World Mental Health Day, I Guess

My mood is totally tanking around here.

I awoke in a reasonably good mental space. Not 100% sure why it’s tanking — and tanking so rapidly. But I think it has something to do with the  2 chairs I acquired yesterday.

This is not one of the chairs but they look exactly like this:

Antique Ladder Back Chair with Rush Seat | Antique ladder, Ladder back  chairs, Chair

I love ladder back chairs, and the 2 that I got yesterday are really old and really well made.

They came from that little house across Basin Street from me. The son was getting rid of what little was left in the house, and I was, like,  “You’re kidding! Two extremely well-made chairs that I love, just for free? Just like that?”

And of course, I was also thinking: What a relief. You can never have enough chairs for the dining room, once you put the leaf in the table. You always need extra chairs.

And I was really just so happy to have these chairs. And I put them in the dining room, against the wall, and I was just really happy. They are so well-made.

And then this morning, it was that thing that happens to me all the time — where I realize that the world in my head has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the life I actually live nowadays. I don’t need more chairs. No one ever comes to visit me. I never have dinner parties anymore. And it has nothing to do with COVID, either.  On those rare times when my birth mom comes here, or my sister comes over, we always sit at the kitchen table. Other than that, no one ever comes over and the other rooms in my house are occupied only by cats. (The cats have not said, yet, whether or not they like the new chairs.)

Anyway, I guess that sort of started me on a little downward spiral. Not so  much the idea that I don’t entertain anymore (or even cook), but the idea that the world in my head is so different from the world I’m actually living in, in the physical.  Even though I know this has been happening to me — I’d even say “increasingly” — since moving into this house, sometimes it really just jolts me. The old life is gone. Even though the life I have now is the one I actually love, the old life is gone and probably isn’t coming back.

It’s just a weird feeling.

I must add here that the latest virus stats were released for this area yesterday, and the county where I do all my marketing had a slight resurgence — 177 active cases (this is still really good compared to where it was at all summer). But here in Muskingum County, we have only 99 active cases, and here in the zip code area where I live (a zip code is an area serviced by one specific post office), we have zero active cases. Yay!! And Muskingum County has still only had 3 deaths from the virus since the outbreak. (This compares to 166,000 currently active cases of the virus in the entire State of Ohio, and a total of 5000 deaths, overall.)

So, you know, this weird world I live in in my head, where everything is just really beautiful all the time, is compounded by the fact that Muskingum County exists in some sort of make-believe place, too.

The whole thing is just really weird.

I don’t suppose there is any real harm, at this point, in living 2 parallel lives that will never meet: the one in my head, and the physical one that I “live.” And I don’t suppose there’s any real harm in the fact that I seem to be regressing way past 12, to about 7 or 8 years old now — judging strictly by my current daily/nightly interests in life (see a post from a few days ago).  (BTW, I am finally remembering to do yoga at night now, but I only do it while I’m streaming reruns of The Monkees.)

The main thing that really sticks out in all this is, of course, my really grown-up car.

In the past few days, I have gotten several very nice compliments about my car. (The molten lava -colored Honda Civic that still looks brand-new but is in fact a year old now. Like me, the car is curiously not aging.) Even though I accept the compliments about my car graciously, it was foisted upon me by the Honda dealership. Plus, I think that St. Christopher (to whom I actively pray whenever I get into any moving vehicle), had some sort of hand in getting me that car because he probably thought it was dangerous enough to have a 12-to-7 year-old girl out driving, she should at least have a safe car (that is sparkly red and goes really fast).

Anyway, it all adds up to me just feeling really crazy;  as if “reality” and “me” do not seem to ever intertwine anymore. And, actually, maybe we never did.

It gets a little depressing.  I’m making sort of a joke about it here on the blog, but I am starting to find it a little alarming in my non-blog life. That said, though, life does indeed go on.

I’m planning to spend the entire day at my desk working on the new erotic short story, “Novitiate.” Try to move that forward because, so far, I’m not making the progress on it that I would like to make.  I still find that I’m battling myself a little bit in how to put this story onto the page. Not so much censoring myself, as trying to determine if where the story keeps wanting to go makes any real sense.  And rather than trusting in the process of the story’s innate knowing of itself, I have decided to become some sort of roadblock to that unfolding.

And I really wish I would stop doing that. I am hoping today will be the Big Day where I can get out of the story’s way.

(I guess that being a roadblock to anything can also be a source of depression.)

So I’m hoping that today will be a day for moving on. If we were to judge it solely by how I’m feeling right now, well — it’s not looking too promising but the day is young!

Okay. Yesterday, Nick Cave sent out a Red Hand File that was really moving. You can read it here. And the Nick Cave Instagram site released an announcement that a collaborative album he made with the Belgian composer, Nicholas Lens — titled L.I.T.A.N.I.E.S — will be released in early December, and one piece from it has already dropped: “Litany of the Forsaken.”

(And do yourself an enormous favor, if you go searching for the album on Amazon, remove all those periods between each letter, otherwise you will make yourself fucking insane and never find it.)

Okay!!! On that happy note…

I’m outta here. I hope you have a better Saturday underway, wherever you are in the world. Thanks for visiting, gang!! Today, I leave you with my anthem — okay, maybe not my actual anthem. I don’t think I really have one. But it will probably be played at my funeral, or at the very least, my wake. I’m sort of a “medium” U2 fan. I have several of their albums. But I’m not, like, a huge fan.  But I do love this song — it’s probably my favorite of theirs: “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” (1987, off The Joshua Tree). So I leave you with that. Enjoy. Lyrics are in the video. I love you guys. See ya.

Okay, I Don’t Know!!

That idea of switching the blog post to the evenings sure didn’t work out yesterday. Of course, I wasn’t expecting Eddie Van Halen to die and sort of skew my whole evening.

So we’ll just see how it goes.

I do feel really under the gun with the new erotic short story, though (“Novitiate”), although, now I’m not sure exactly what the editors at the publishing house want me to do re: “Half-Moon Bride,” (keep it as a stand-alone story, or include it in the collected stories) so I’m just trying to move forward with the new short story and get it done as quickly as possible. And then see what they decide to do.

Yesterday morning, Nick Cave sent out a Red Hand File. It was regarding an emotional stance that a lot of young radicals back in the late 60s and early 70s used to grapple with all the time:  meaning that they were so angry, disenchanted, overwhelmed by feelings of powerlessness in the face of society that they felt it was practically a crime to bring another baby into such an awful world. (And it did turn out, as Nick Cave suggests in his letter, that all those new babies coming into the world helped steer it into new and unexpected directions.)

On a personal note, though, I am one of those women who always, always, always wanted to have babies but wound up not being able to have a family. And whenever I see a young woman on the fence about having a kid or not, I am always really quick to point out to her that time fucking flies and women don’t have the luxury of just waiting indefinitely to decide. That the fertile years are over in a heartbeat. They really are.  Do it while you’re young and in love and have the energy.

Obviously, if a woman doesn’t actually want to have kids, ever, that’s a whole different thing. Don’t EVER have kids if you don’t actually want them. I’m just saying when a young woman is making herself crazy trying to decide — especially if her guy (or mate or significant other or husband) really, really wants to have a kid. Jesus Christ, I always tell her:  DON’T WAIT!!!!!

Plus, I also think it’s sort of egocentric to think that the state of the enormous WORLD is somehow something we’re uniquely responsible for. (If you look at world history throughout all of recorded time, there has never been a time of Utopia. It’s simply not what the world is about. We each live our own unique life within the enormous world.)

Anyway. I thought it was interesting. You can read it here.

Okay, well. Eddie Van Halen. What can I say? When I think of my life in NYC in the 1980s, the most amazing sense of joy and smiles and excitement and insanity and over-the-top fun — that was Eddie, and Van Halen, in general. Jesus Christ, talk about guitar heroes, right?

I realize he was 65 and battling cancer, and had lived a lot of years struggling with substance abuse, etc., but I still think of him as joy-filled “Eddie,” and it is such a shock to think that whole part of life is just gone now.

It’s also something Valerie and I talk about a lot. She and I are both officially in our 60s now — she had a close friend pass away very suddenly, right before her mom did, and her friend was only 61. It’s this feeling that once we start hitting our 60s, so many people decide to check out. They really do.

I get in that frame of mind a lot now — just thinking about what’s ahead of me, and is the best actually behind me now. And all that. And should I start winding things down and check out. (Not as a suicide, I hope, but I do believe on some deep Inner Being level, we make the decision to stay or to go, at any age.)

So, yesterday, is was, like — “On no! Not Eddie, too!” Another intense moment for the month of October…

Well, okay. I want to get some more coffee here and then get to work on “Novitiate.” I hope you have a great Wednesday, wherever you are in the world. Thanks for visiting, gang. I leave you with something fun from Van Halen’s multi-platinum monster album, Women & Children First (1980), “The Cradle Will Rock.” Turn it up and rock on!! I love you guys. See ya.

“And The Cradle Will Rock”

Well, they say it’s kinda frightening how this younger generation swings.
You know, it’s more than just some new sensation.
Well, the kid is into losing sleep and he don’t come home for half the week.
You know, it’s more than just an aggravation.
And the cradle will rock.
Yes, the cradle will rock.
And I say, rock on!
Rock on!

And when some local kid gets down, they try and drum him out of town.
They say, “You could of at least faked it, boy.”
At an early age he hits the street and winds up tied with who he meets, and he’s unemployed.
And the cradle will rock.
Yeah, the cradle will rock.
And I say, rock on!
Rock on!

Have you seen Junior’s grades?
And when some local kid gets down, they try and drum him out of town.
They say, “You could of at least faked it, boy.”
At an early age he hits the street and winds up tied with who he meets, and he’s unemployed.
His folks are overjoyed.
And the cradle will rock.
Yeah, the cradle will rock.
And I say, rock on!
Rock on!
Rock on!
Rock on!

© 1980  Eddie Van Halen, David Lee Roth, Alex Van Halen, Michael Anthony

All is Well Here in Crazeysburg!

Sorry I was not able to get back here to post more yesterday, but I was hard at work on 1954 Powder Blue Pickup for another 12 hours.

However, it is DONE, gang! And I just love it. I really do.

It’s 62 pages, about 35,000 words. I will go over the whole thing a final time today and then send it off to the new publisher tomorrow. And then we shall see.

For me, personally, it’s my most favorite thing that I’ve ever written. And I have written a whole heck of a lot of stuff, gang. But I just love this one.

And as is par for my usual course, it’s a love story with an implied “happily ever after” ending — but before we get to that happy ending, it’s indescribably filthy as hell!! And it’s totally hardcore and pushes every boundary of “questionable consent” imaginable. (As all good love stories should, in my happy opinion! Yay.) Okay.

So, golly, I am exhausted here. But I’m just really, really happy.

I’m going to dash into town to get the groceries here in a minute, and then spend the whole day doing the final edit on the book, because tomorrow, I absolutely must  prune back the hydrangea so that the dead blossoms, etc., can be picked up for yard compost when the truck comes by on Wednesday.

All of my neighbors now have their autumn mums on their porches, and their various pumpkins and decorative fall squashes and even Halloween lights!

And yet I still have all my summer petunias out, and all my happy little summer bird ornaments, and yard angels and summer “Welcome” signs and mosquito-repelling candles, etc., so I have to sort of kind of get with the program somehow — although I’m keeping my petunias until the frost comes and kills them.

Still, I’m going to gather all the various flower boxes onto the kitchen porch, so that at least the rest of the house & barn look like they’re appropriate for fall.

And then I guess we’ll get ever onward to the close of another year.

Well, I have not been able to actually speak to Valerie yet about her mom’s death. It will probably be several days before she’ll be taking any phone calls.  It has just been a really, really rough year for her. Big changes now for her, too. She is the last one left in her family now. Her younger brother died a very long time ago (he used to be my computer guy, back in the Dark Ages), then her dad died a few years back, and now her mom.

I tried to find a photo I have of her and her mom and one of her aunt’s heading off on a trip to Ireland many years ago, but I can’t find it. But they are all super-NYC Irish-Catholic blue-eyed blondes, and they all looked exactly alike. It was sort of uncanny.

Anyway, I feel very sad about that.

Okay, well, while hunting for that photo of Val and her mom, I saw that Nick Cave sent out a new Red Hand File just now. It appears to have something to do with magic, but I have not read it yet. Perhaps we can all follow this link and go over there and read it together!! Yay!!

Other than that, folks, well, I honestly have nothing going on over here. I have just been in another world, trying to get that novella written.  And it looks like I am gonna close this now, scoot into town, and then get right back to work on it so that I can officially say it is done!

I leave you with, like, the very first thing I saw on Instagram, the moment my eyes opened today. So I played it at breakfast. Rather intense breakfast-listening music; I’m not sure what the cats thought of it. (They do tend to prefer Broadway show tunes, frankly.) But it was Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds’ version of an old Leadbelly song “Black Betty.” As far as I know, it’s only on their B Sides & Rarities album (2005), but was recorded (as a B-side) in 1986.

So I leave you with that, oh, and I guess, in honor of my cats, I’ll also leave you with my hands-down favorite Broadway show tune of all time — “Letters” from the ill-fated Broadway fucking  amazing show, “Natasha, Pierre & the Great Comet of 1812.” It was based on a lesser-known Tolstoy novel (just kidding — it was based on War & Peace), and I had tickets to see it in September 2017, when I went to NYC to work with Sandra on our other play. And I was so FUCKING excited to see it but the darn thing CLOSED before I could get there. (It was really, really unfortunate why that show closed, but I won’t go into it here.)

Okay, enjoy and thanks for visiting, gang. Have a terrific Monday, wherever you are in the world! I love you guys. See ya.