Tag Archives: erotica

A Cold Rainy November Day in Crazeysburg!!

Tonight, it’s going to get really cold — colder than it’s been so far — so I’m guessing the petunias are not going to survive much longer. Although it’s been truly amazing how well they’ve been doing so far.

The morning glories died out with that first frost we had several weeks ago. So the petunias are really just so hardy.

I spoke with Valerie for a while yesterday and she said that her petunias are still blooming, too. (In Brooklyn — 500 miles away from here.) So maybe it’s just the way petunias are.

Plus, as she and I were talking, all the many little trick-or-treaters were out and about, heading to the town hall to get their candy (yes — the very same town hall that Nick Cave steadfastly refused to hold a Conversation in last year, even though at least fourteen people would have showed up!!) (And because I not only staked my reputation on how great the show would be, and all 14 Crazeysburgers were so  severely disappointed by his no-show that they will not speak to me anymore, plus I had even ordered a really nice Fazoli grand piano from Italy to have in the town hall for him and I had to put $238,000 on my credit card — anyway, because of that, I am forced to post this photo of Nick Cave here on the blog):

Of course, I am just kidding about all of that.

And not only am I just kidding, but I also digress.


While Valerie and I were talking on the phone, and while all the many, many trick-or-treaters and their moms and dads were heading to the town hall to get their candy, they were forced to wade through an unbelievably enormous amount of dead leaves that have accumulated on my front side walk, and I felt really guilty because of my “No-Raking” policy (which is also an “I’m too lazy to rake” policy)…

And so Valerie convinced me that I should get a leaf blower/vacuum/mulcher like she has!

She guarantees they are easy to handle, they are now electric, and often even cordless. And lightweight.

Worx Trivac 2-Speed Blower Vac Mulcher with Bag - 9506451 | HSN

I had no idea about this because in the old days, they were super noisy and ran on gasoline. But Valerie has convinced me that all that has changed and so I will stop into the Home Depot next week and see what’s in stock. They are super affordable now, too. (For instance, I can buy 3,553 leaf blowers for what I spent on that Fazoli grand piano…)

Oh my god. Okay! The coolest thing happened to me yesterday.

It was a gorgeous day here. A little cool but just so sunny and just so perfect for the last Saturday in October. And I decided to go to Subway (a fast food sandwich place — we have a Subway and a Dairy Queen here in Crazeysburg) to buy my lunch/dinner. Because they have vegetarian options there that are actually good and sometimes I just get so tired of eating the same darn healthy organic non-GMO things over and over and over and over…

And so I walked past the house where the cute teenage blond boy who has the motorcycle lives. And two men were in the driveway working under the hood of a white pickup truck. And one of the men was an older, nearly exact-replica of the teenage boy… I don’t know if it’s his dad or maybe an uncle or what, because the blonde-haired mom  came out the front door and called for the second man to come into the house for something. So maybe the woman and the second man are married — I don’t know.

But on my way back from Subway’s, only the blonde man was in the driveway working on the truck, and as I walked passed, he made the horn give a quick little honk.

I was secretly and quietly thrilled! (I am ridiculously shy around men when I find them attractive.) But it was clear that I existed and that he had hormones.

Oh man, gang. It was too cool. However, I will not let my imagination wander because one thing about this area is that everybody is married.


I will tell you a secret about how I achieve my stellar success as a writer: I usually do not write when Mercury is retrograde. I find it to be a very difficult mental atmosphere to write anything new in, or to even edit anything in because I never like what I come up with and I constantly change my mind.

Mercury goes direct again tomorrow and I am  already feeling the creative change inside me, so I might get back to work on “Novitiate” today!! (The new erotic short story that will round-out Volume 4 of The Muse Revisited, which I will be sending over to Black Lotus Books when it is complete.) So I feel really good about that.

It just feels like a nice November Sunday, all the way around. Plus, today is the day we turned our clocks back an hour, so we get a nice long lazy rainy day here today.

I did sort of celebrate Halloween last evening, by watching the blaxploitation movie from 1972, Blacula, while doing yoga by candlelight.

I love Blacula and own it on video, but it’s actually free to stream in HD on Amazon Prime so I did that instead.  The movie is just so very 1972, gang.  It’s very sexy and fun and even a little creepy/scary. So that was my Halloween.

Other than that, I was really saddened to hear that the UK is also going back into lockdown this coming week.  Just unbelievable, this fucking virus.

Here in Crazeysburg, we are still holding at zero active cases. Schools and churches and stores have been open for several months now, although masks and social distancing are practiced. However, we are in the great wide open here and very few people actually live here (1300 people).

Okay. I’m going to get going here. I hope you have a nice Sunday, wherever you are in the world. Thanks for visiting, gang. I leave you with my breakfast-listening music from this morning – yes, I’m back to The Monkees. Their huge hit: “Daydream Believer” from The Birds, The Bees, and The Monkees (1968).  It made for a nice, cheery little breakfast at 5:11am. So listen and enjoy!! I love you guys. See ya.

Happy Halloween!!

I have to say that Halloween means absolutely nothing to me. But if you’re someone who likes to celebrate it, I hope you have a really great night!!

Here, the weather is cold but sunny. We had yet another killer frost all over the ground, the cars, the rooftops — and, yes, my petunias are still alive. They are just amazing, gang. They have almost bloomed themselves out, but they are indeed still alive.

I did get a chance to listen to the Licking Non-Vanilla podcast. Mostly, we talk about erotica — then & now. But if you aren’t interested in erotica, you can tune in just to hear how intense I always fucking am!! About absolutely everything…

It was fun and I will be doing a different podcast with M. Christian soon, on another show. I will keep you posted!

Well, I don’t actually have much to say today.  I’m really tired or depressed or something. I’m not sure what. But I still wanted to wish everyone a Happy Halloween. The one and only day that’s perfect for wearing our COVID masks! So have fun.

And if you don’t celebrate, then have a happy Saturday, wherever you are in the world!! Thanks for visiting.


A Perfect Rainy Day Here in the Hinterlands!

For some reason, the rainy  weather seems to have made me really sleepy today. I’m moving at a snail’s pace here. However, the rain is really lovely to look at, since the autumn leaves are now everywhere.

Laundry is now well underway here, and the morning will be spent going over the edits for “Half-Moon Bride,” so that I can get those back to the publisher ASAP. This will be my first time working with this editor so it will be interesting to see the types of changes they suggest making.

I usually just let editors go with whatever they want (within reason, obviously).  Writing & reading are just so subjective, and I’d much rather that an editor feel okay about seeing my name in their inbox over time. As an editor myself, over the years you start to really appreciate writers who are receptive and not difficult or too opinionated. And in the long run, a word change here or there, a sentence change — it really doesn’t add up to much if it’s a good story to begin with.

That said, though, if an editor is just really horrible to work with from the start then you absolutely need to get out of your contract. Nothing good is likely to come from that relationship, ever.

Okay! So. First off, due to lockdown restrictions, cinemas in Germany, France, Belgium and Italy have had to close again. The Nick Cave website sent out this link this morning so that you can stay updated about when the film version of Idiot Prayer – Nick Cave Alone at Alexandra Palace will be rescheduled in your region.

Crazeysburg is not at all affected by the lockdown. Currently, the active virus cases here are still at zero. We are, however, affected by the fact that there is no cinema anywhere close to us for about 50 miles… so Idiot Prayer – Nick Cave Alone at Alexandra Palace will not be showing here anytime soon, with or without a virus.

I’ll try to stick this in here so that it won’t get flagged  — if you are not accessing a news outlet or a social media platform that is allowing you to keep abreast of Tony Bobulinski, you can always use duck duck go to find out about it. This is a man who is now fearing for his life and the lives of his family. No joke.

All righty!

Back to Nick Cave… He sent out a Red Hand File yesterday that was quite beautiful, about his opinion on the state of the world right now.  You can read it at this link here if you so choose!!

Okay, I guess I better scoot, gang. Sorry this is so short. But it feels like everything is just taking forever around here! And the morning is racing by.

Have a lovely Thursday, wherever you are in the world!! I leave you with something lovely to listen to if you, too, have lovely autumn leaves tumbling down where you reside. Nat King Cole, singing “Autumn Leaves.” (Televised, around 1954 or so.) Listen, dream, enjoy. All righty. I love you guys. See ya!

“Autumn Leaves”

The falling leaves drift by the window
The autumn leaves of red and gold
I see your lips, the summer kisses
The sun-burned hands I used to hold

Since you went away the days grow long
And soon I’ll hear old winter’s song
But I miss you most of all my darling
When autumn leaves start to fall

C’est une chanson, qui nous ressemble
Toi tu m’aimais et je t’aimais
Nous vivions tous, les deux ensemble
Toi que m’aimais moi qui t’aimais
Mais la vie sépare ceux qui s’aiment
Tout doucement sans faire de bruit
Et la mer efface sur le sable les pas des amants désunis

© 1945 Jacques Prévert, Joseph Kosma, Johnny Mercer

FINALLY!! Thank God!!

Wow, gang! Finally!

My erotic novellas, novels, and short stories WILL NOT have pictures of naked women or girls in their underwear on the covers!!

I have literally waited a lifetime for this.

Yesterday, the publisher emailed me a sample of the cover art for “Half-Moon Bride” and I am really, really happy with it. Not only is it pretty, but it actually has SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE STORY!!!

WHEN you read the story, you will see why this is totally a great cover.

Wow. I am just so happy.

Cover art for my new erotic short story, coming in November from Black Lotus Books

And the publisher also said that all of my titles with them are going to have similar covers, in order to get a sort of visual brand for me.

I am really just so happy about that. I can’t tell you how many book covers I’ve had over the years that I have absolutely hated…

I have  had a total of four that I’ve actually liked. And that’s four out of many, many dozens of books published here,  in Europe and in Japan over a 30-year period. So I really have waited a long. long time for this.

(Although, I have to say that I did always like this one!! The first time Neptune & Surf came out in French-translation in Paris. The cover photo references the middle novella in the book, titled The Mercy Cure.)

Neptune & Surf, Editions Blanche, Paris 2001

Other than that, yesterday was an intense day. That phone call I mentioned I had to make wound up being a sort of “phone call from Hell.” And I really, really try to be patient with people. I really do. I even try to suffer fools gladly, when time allows. But yesterday — well, I kept my opinion to myself, but inside I was Mount Vesuvius exploding. And it was sort of hard to recover a decent morning from that experience of bullish stupidity, but I eventually did and wound up having a totally decent day. And by evening, I was actually back to being in a really good mood and really excited about my upcoming stuff!! (The play, my new books, etc.)

And here is something else that made me so happy!

Three months ago, I ordered a strange little sextoy from an online company that I had seen on Instagram.  I was intrigued enough by the post on Instagram, to look up their website on my computer and I saw this strange little — rather expensive — thing. And it was on sale. And it was one of those retail sites that had a “spin the wheel” dial, where if it was your first purchase with them, you spin the wheel to see what your added discount would be if you purchased something right at that moment.

Well, between it being on sale and the huge additional discount I got, I bought the little thing. And was very, very excited. I could not wait to receive it and see what the heck it really did.

And then a few days later, they emailed me to say that my package was on its way!!!!

From fucking Singapore!!

And I was, like — what??!! How did I manage to buy something from a sextoy company clear around the world?? When there are tons of really good ones right here in the United States of America?

So I looked them up on google and there were a lot of US customers claiming the site was a scam. Not a real site, etc. So I thought, oh crap. Not only was it money down the drain, but I was never going to get to try out my little toy and see if it actually did what it claimed it was going to do…


Yesterday, when I opened my little mailbox, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a rather beat-up little package, sent from clear across the world, 3 months ago…

It had arrived!!! I was so excited!! It was not a scam!!

Right away, I plugged in its USB thingie and began to charge it. It’s red light was blinking merrily, so clearly it was actually going to work!!

However, it is a little bit “hi tech” and most of the instructions are in Chinese so I haven’t figured out yet how to use it. But I feel confident that I will!! Perhaps even later today!!!

But I was just so happy that it actually existed. And now it is mine!

Okay, well. On that happy note…

I’m gonna get the day started here. I hope you are enjoying your Wednesday, wherever you are in the world! Thanks for visiting, gang. I leave you with my post-apocalyptic-phone-call listening-music from yesterday. I hadn’t listened to this album — or song — in a bazillion years, gang. It really did end up calming me down considerably. So I leave you with it today. “Let It Be,” the titular song from The Beatles’ final album, Let It Be (1970) — quite a huge album from my wee bonny girlhood in Cleveland. (And “Mother Mary” is not Jesus’ mother, btw, but Paul McCartney’s mother, Mary, who died when he was a boy. And since I am not a believer in the divinity of Jesus’ mother, I was actually hoping Paul’s mother was visiting me while I was listening to the song… Perhaps she did. I’m not really sure about that. But something calmed me the fuck down.)


So listen, enjoy, calm down, be happy if at all possible. I love you guys. See ya.

“Let It Be”

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom
Let it be

And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom
Let it be

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom
Let it be

And when the broken-hearted people
Living in the world agree
There will be an answer
Let it be

For though they may be parted there is
Still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer
Let it be

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Yeah, there will be an answer
Let it be

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom
Let it be

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom
Let it be

And when the night is cloudy
There is still a light that shines on me
Shine until tomorrow
Let it be

I wake up to the sound of music
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom
Let it be

Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah, let it be
There will be an answer
Let it be

Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah, let it be
There will be an answer
Let it be

Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom
Let it be

© 1970 Lennon & McCartney

An Odd But Lovely Little Morning in Crazeysburg!

The good news is that the official publishing contract for 1954 Powder Blue Pickup came through during the night, so it is now signed and returned!!! I am just super excited about that, gang. I really love that crazy little book.

It is filthy as hell, with a minimal story arc — although it does have a couple of character arcs, so that’s pretty cool! But seriously, I absolutely love that book. And even if I hadn’t written it, I would read it and think, Wow, this is the best book I’ve ever read!! And then I’d wonder, Wow, who wrote this amazing book? And then I’d get on Kickstarter and start a fundraiser to make a documentary film all about the obscure writer of 1954 Powder Blue Pickup, the best book ever written.

You know, this is kind of interesting. Many years ago, I wrote an erotic short story, published by an underground zine in San Fransisco, and it was loosely based on a boy I used to babysit when I was 16, who had a serious crush on me. And he was like the horniest little kid, ever.  Which presented a serious challenge to me because I am absolutely 100% not a pedophile. And even at age 16, I was extremely maternal.

The last I had heard about him, back in the 1980s after I moved to NYC, was that he had joined the Navy and I remember thinking how odd it was that they allowed 10-year-old boys to join the Navy — because I simply could not believe he was already old enough to join the Navy. But the story I wound up writing stemmed more from that thought that he actually was old enough to be in the Navy.

Anyway, I found out a couple weeks ago that he is still alive, and still lives in Ohio, although he lives up in Cleveland now — AND — he’s a really powerful State Supreme Court Judge. I found that really just astounding and really kind of amusing. Remembering what he was like as an indescribably horny 10-year-old.

Ah well. Life does indeed go on. But I saw a photo of him and he has all this grey hair now, but he looks really kind and compassionate. Like he is probably a very good Judge.

Well, my dinner last night with Kevin did not happen because the worst storm imaginable suddenly blew in out of nowhere. Torrential rain, thunder, lightning, and really strong winds. The wind was blowing everything, everywhere.  So we postponed the dinner, which disappointed me because I really wanted an update on my play, plus he has those promotional postcards ready for me to start sending out. But the cool news is that I saw 3 rainbows while the storm was in the process of passing over.

Literally, 3 rainbows. And I have not seen a rainbow since I was about 9 years old. It was so cool.

And my other friend Kevin is supposed to fly back from Montana today, although he isn’t planning on staying in Ohio for very long. So I’m not sure when he’s planning to come out here and get his 1965 VW camper van from out of my barn. But whenever he does make it out here, I know he will be impressed with the barn’s new roof, and the new barn door! Plus, it will be really nice to see him.

Well, that’s kind of it around here today, gang. I’ve had sort of an odd morning here.  As usual, I’ve been up and out of bed since 4am, but for the most part, I sat on my bed in the dark, drank my coffee and stared out the window at the wind blowing the branches of the maple tree outside my window. Even with that terrible wind last evening, most of its leaves are still on the branches. So it was sort of hauntingly beautiful to look at.

And while I sat and stared, I listened to “Insider” by Tom Petty (with a supporting vocal by Stevie Nicks, 1981), over and over. I’m not a huge Stevie Nicks fan at all, but I do love how she sounded when she sang with Tom Petty.

Anyway, I listened to that for quite a long time and I grappled with reality — but mostly the reality that other people consider “reality,” not necessarily the reality that I call reality. And I guarantee you, those are two distinctly parallel lines that will never meet. So I either go crazy trying to see the world the way other people see it, or just mind my own business and keep to myself and let life happen and just sit here and write and go less crazy. Even though that version is extremely lonely.

So it’s a weird morning here. But I do hope to spend some time focusing on “Novitiate” (the new erotic short story in progress) and maybe even making some good progress with that. We shall see.

Meanwhile, have a nice Saturday, wherever you are in the world, gang. Thanks for visiting. I leave you with my sitting-in-the-dark-drinking-coffee-and-staring-out-at-the-tree music from this morning, in those wee hours before dawn! Listen, ponder, enjoy!! I love you guys. See ya.


You’ve got a dangerous background
And everything you’ve dreamed of
Yeah you’re the Dark Angel
It don’t show when you break up
and I’m the one who ought to know
I’m the one left in the dust
Yeah I’m the broken-hearted fool
Who was never quite enough

I’m an insider, I been burned by the fire
And I’ve had to live with some hard promises
I’ve crawled through the briars — I’m an insider

It’s a circle of deception
It’s a hall of strangers
It’s a cage without a key
You can feel the danger
And I’m the one who ought to know
I’m the one you couldn’t trust
I’m the lonely silent one
I’m the one left in the dust


I’ll bet you’re his masterpiece
I’ll bet you’re his self-control
Yeah you’ll become his legacy
His quiet world of white and gold
And I’m the one who ought to know
I’m the one you left to rust
Not one of your twisted friends
I’m the one you couldn’t love


© 1981 Tom Petty

Some Awesome Memories!!

Today is the 4th anniversary of Bunny’s passing — she was such a sweet cat. I swear that I still miss her every day.

I went looking for some old photos of her to post to the blog, and I serendipitously (which I don’t think is actually a word) discovered a bunch of photos that I forgot I had.

So it’s Memory Day again, here in Marilyn’s Room!!

First of all, I found a wonderful photo of Paul at Christmas, 1996. Paul was my best friend who died, whom I blogged about yesterday.

Paul at Christmas, 1996

He was already really sick here, but you can see that even while he was dying, he was just such a good-natured human being.

Here are two photos of Bunny right after I rescued her and her brother, Buster, from a NYC cat shelter in Times Square. They were a few months old already when I adopted them. Bunny is the larger cat, Buster, was the grey and white cat. I loved both of them so much, it was almost unbelievable.

Bunny and Buster on the dining room table on West End Avenue, NYC.


Wayne was not happy that I adopted two cats to replace Kitty after she died. But the rescue place wanted me to have this brother & sister pair, even though I had gone in to adopt a different cat. They insisted that I have these two instead and they wound up being such a joy to me.

Buster & Bunny in the nursery.

When Wayne and I thought we were having a baby, we decorated the nursery.  But no babies came, so it eventually turned into my office. So my office on West End Avenue was half-nursery. This is right after Bunny & Buster were adopted.

Our house from 1964-1966


I could not believe I found this photo!! This is the house my family lived in from 1964-1966, in Cleveland. I took the photo decades after we lived there, but this was our house! I have so many memories from this house. I could write an entire book just about that. I found out years later that both of my parents disliked this house, but my dad bought it because it was really close to the school — just down the block. And both me and my older brother started school when we lived here.

The house Mikey Rivera and I lived in together.

I did not even remember that I had this photo!! Mikey Rivera and I were going to buy this house in Easton, Pennsylvania. It was owned by a priest who rented it out. We were “renting to own” when my mom got sick and we wound up moving back to Ohio. We lived in it for 6 months.

My office in that house.

This was my office in that house. The house was really old — well over 100 years old. I edited a couple of anthologies in this office and wrote a few short stories, but didn’t live there long enough to write much more than that.

My office in the apartment in Pennsylvania.

This was my “office” in the apartment Mikey & I rented when we left NYC together, before we moved into that house above. We rented a small one-bedroom apartment in an old Victorian house that was on the Delaware River in Pennsylvania, in the foothills of the Pocono Mountains. We were less than 2 hours from NYC, so it was an ideal location. I could easily go back & forth to Manhattan to meet with publishers and other writers, etc., and Mikey could go visit his son, who was only about 6 years old (!!) at the time. (He’s now well out of college…).

My “office” was in a corner of the living room. He and I lived there for 3 years. I wrote 3 novels in that little corner — including Freak Parade, which I wrote about Mikey Rivera. I also wrote three novellas and many, many short stories in that little corner. I also edited 4 fiction anthologies. All in that little corner. I was extremely creative there.

Naturally, Mikey and I shared the tiny apartment with Buster & Bunny! And according to my lease, I was only allowed to have one cat. So we always had to hide Buster from the landlord. Luckily, the two cats looked enough alike, that if one would sit in the front window, you couldn’t really tell if it was a different cat. The only problem was to never let both cats sit in the front window at the same time. The landlord only lived a couple blocks away, so I was constantly worrying that he was going to see both cats at the same time. Luckily, my little desk was not far from the window, because I mean it was a constant chore to keep both of them out of that window at the same time. (It was a beautiful bay window, looking out over the river.)

Okay! That’s my little trip down Memory Lane for today.

Well, the podcast recording went very well yesterday, although I barely even mentioned The Guitar Hero Goes Home! We talked about a bunch of other stuff, instead. Mostly the state of the erotica publishing industry now compared with its heyday, when we all first met.  (Me, M. Christian, and Ralph Greco, Jr.) I will let you know when you can listen to it on YouTube.

And today, I am feeling better all the way around. The bruise on my thigh is a hideous mass of vibrant colors now, but almost all the pain is completely gone. And this evening, I’m meeting Kevin, the director of my play, for dinner, so I’m really looking forward to a chance to get out and socialize again. Yay!! And we’ll be discussing all the things that are going on with my play, so I’m very eager to hear about all that.

Nick Cave’s official web site sent out an email this morning, announcing the screening dates for the extended film version of  Idiot Prayer – Nick Cave Alone at Alexandra Palace. To purchase tickets, you can locate your area here. (I think. I might have just given you the link that says you can’t yet buy tickets to see the film in Crazeysburg, but I’ve been assured the film is coming here soon!) (Just kidding, of course. Nothing comes to Crazeysburg!!)

Okay, that’s it!! Have a terrific Friday, wherever you are in the world.  Thanks for visiting, gang. I leave you with “Euthanasia,” the new song by Nick Cave, which is in that film mentioned above.  Enjoy. I love you guys. See ya!

It Was Just One of Those Days Here in Crazeysburg!

Because I fell and bruised my thigh beyond my ability to comprehend (if you are on your computer, you can see my Instagram photo from yesterday down below, which shows the awesome bruise and just how swelled up it got), I wound up spending a huge portion of yesterday in bed.

Not because I couldn’t walk, but because the pain was excruciating.

But today, even though the bruise is obviously still there and still swollen, the pain is really minimal.

And, while CBD oil did nothing to stop that kind of pain, it did calm me the fuck down and made everything in my world seem manageable. And by “manageable” I guess I mean  “just go to bed and stream The Monkees and forget about everything else in the world. ”

Oh, and I should mention here that I wound up liking that documentary, Hey, Hey We’re The Monkees, which I had started watching the other day. It was very informative and emotional.

Anyway. I also slept a lot yesterday, seeing as how I was already in bed. I didn’t get out of bed until after 5am today, which is later than I’ve been doing for quite a few weeks now.

So nothing new has been done to the new short story “Novitiate.” And at this point, if it is getting confusing:

  • The Guitar Hero Goes Home is now available in print with the corrected cover and the corrected text. (Also eBook — Amazon)
  • “Half-Moon Bride” will be available as a stand alone eBook in a few weeks (with my new publisher)
  • 1954 Powder Blue Pickup will be coming out in print before the year is over,  also with my new publisher
  • “Novitiate” will be part of what I currently call The Muse Revisited Vol. 4, which will also include my more popular “taboo erotica” short stories and novellas from the scope of my career. That will come out in print with my new publisher, as well, but probably not until early 2021 (especially if I don’t quit falling down on my kitchen porch).

So that’s what’s going on there, in erotica land.

In non-erotica land, the staged reading of my play, Tell My Bones, will premier online on Sunday evening EST, November 22nd. It will be free, but you will need to RSVP at an eventbrite link, which I will give to you when I have it. And if you miss the premier, you will have a window of maybe 3-5 days to watch it anyway.


So Cave Things announced yesterday that you can pre-order the following really cute picture discs, each have one song on them from Idiot Prayer: Nick Cave Alone at Alexandra Palace, which is being released as an album and also a film in November. Here are the picture discs, drawn by Nick Cave (I believe they are each £30, except that there are only 500 copies in each title, so you need to pre-order right away).

And with that, I’m also gonna close. So have a really nice Wednesday, wherever you are in the world. Thanks for visiting, gang!! I love you guys. See ya!!








A Gentle Little Sunday in the Hinterlands

Okay, gang. Happy Sunday!

It is so quiet and lovely and autumnal around here this morning. I am really in “slow” mode, just taking it easy.

Oh, guess what? After refusing to get on my bathroom scale for a couple of months now because of all that frustrating COVID 19 weight that I couldn’t seem to budge, I decided to weigh myself today and I’m at my goal weight. The weight I prefer to be at all the time  when there is no fucking virus going around. This means I lost 13 pounds without even trying. So even while the virus is starting to spike again the world over, I lost my stupid COVID weight. Yay.

Before I forget, M. Christian has a reading of a brand new queer/BDSM/cyberpunk story, “Kintsugi,” that just went live on the Nobilis Sci-Fi Erotica Podcast. (Chris is not reading it, Nobilis is reading it.) You can listen to it here:

And speaking of erotica… it was slow-going with “Novitiate” yesterday. (My current erotic short story that is in progress.) (Oh, I also noticed that many typos occur, and one occurred in the excerpt I posted here the other day — where I suddenly call “Paula” by the name of “Paul,” which makes for an interesting and rather abrupt plot twist. However, it is actually just Paula, throughout! I’ve made the correction to the excerpt.)

Anyway, I hope I make better progress with the story today. I know what I want to say, but so many scenes seem to want to collide in my head at once, and not all of them really need to be in the story. So I am having trouble sorting it all out and then getting it onto the page in a way that I actually like.

On a different note, last evening I began streaming a re-edited documentary on The Monkees. (Hey, Hey We’re the Monkees, originally made in 1997.) I’m not sure if I’ll keep watching it or not. Two of the Monkees are now dead (Davy Jones and Peter Tork), and who knows if the remaining two have now changed their view on the whole experience. But I think I might just like to keep enjoying the reruns and remembering how happy that show made me in my childhood.

Amazon.com: The Hey, Hey We're the Monkees: The Monkees, Davy Jones,  Michael Nesmith, Peter Tork, Micky Dolenz, Paul Mazursky, Ward Sylvester,  Peter Noone, Don Kirshner, Bobby Hart, Jeff Barry, Chip Douglas, David

I did already know that the actors were not 100% happy with the experience of being a “Monkee”, but I’m not sure I need to know every single bit of it. We’ll see, I guess. (For instance, Mike Nesmith has maintained over the years that the album More of the Monkees was one of the worst albums in the history of the world. When, in fact, it is one of the best. And back in the early 1980s, when I was a folksinger in Greenwich Village, Peter Tork sometimes played one of the clubs I played at, and he was really just a basket case, mentally, at that point in his life. And it stemmed from the whole Monkees experience.)

And I never did get to finish watching the Ronnie Wood documentary last week, which kind of sucks. Because it wasn’t my fault that the darn stream kept buffering until it finally just froze up. And then I never got time to get back to it during that window of 72 hours. However, I did really love the Bill Wyman documentary, and that Brian Jones documentary, sad as it was. So I guess I’ll survive!

Okay. I think that’s really it for today, gang. I guess I will get my Sunday morning started here (I’ve actually been up for 6 hours already, so that gives you an idea of just how slow I am taking things today!) I hope you have a wonderful Sunday going on, wherever you are in the world. Thanks for visiting.  I leave you with a song I’ve left you with many times before, but it always makes me feel really good about Tom Petty, so here it is again. “You and Me,” from off of his Last DJ album of 2002. All righty, enjoy. I love you guys. See ya!

Still Alive & Well!!

Yes! I am talking about the petunias!

There is a layer of frost on my grown-up car this morning. There is frost on the rooftops. Frost on the lawns and on all the autumn leaves lying all over the lawns. And yet, the petunias are doing just fine.

I guess it has to be a real killer “killer frost” to faze these petunias.

So that was a sort of little happy burst of wonder when I went downstairs for breakfast this morning at 4am.

I also saw that another new song was dropped for the upcoming album, Idiot Prayer: Nick Cave Alone at Alexandra Palace. And this one is actually a new song — “Euthanasia.” It was in my Amazon music library this morning. I just love this song. It is so pretty.

And while I’m thinking of it, I forgot to post yesterday that Nick Cave sent out another Red Hand File on Thursday that was very interesting, regarding a reader’s concerns about Narcotics Anonymous and stemming the seemingly endless tide of heroin addiction. You can read it here.

And also this morning, someone from Europe that I follow on Instagram, who only posts photos and quotes (in English) of various  writers and poets from all over the world, asked if he could quote me on his page today. I was so flattered. In all honesty, I love his page because I have found out about some really interesting writers and poets from South America and Europe by following his page.

He quoted from the ending of Neptune & Surf, and I sent him a photo of me, taken by Valerie while we were at Coney Island. This was during the years that I was actually writing Neptune & Surf. (N & S takes place on Coney Island in 1955.) (The photo is from 1994 or 1995.)

Since I now know how to capture people’s Instagram feeds, I share it with you here. (I really was so touched, gang.)

So my morning has been off to a pretty good start around here today.

I’m planning on just spending the day working on the new erotic short story, “Novitiate.” I’m at one of those junctures where the story begins to just go off the charts in terms of the eroticism, so it requires 110,000,000 % of my concentration.  (Luckily, I’m not prone to exaggerate, otherwise I’d probably throw some really huge number out there…)

Okay, now, on a more serious note.  I have to very soberly question what’s up with the new Tom Petty album — Wild Flowers & All the Rest. Slavish devotee of Tom Petty’s that I am, he (and Rick Rubin, the producer) had said over the years that there were something like 25 additional songs that were not included on the original album, but that Tom Petty had wanted to release on a follow-up to Wildflowers some day.

And this new album has been touted for many, many months (years?) as that album. However, even while there are 54 (!!) songs on this new album, there are only 6 (!!) songs on this collection that I would consider to be actually new, never-heard-before songs.

There are many songs that are never-before-heard versions of songs we already know — meaning they are his home demos. Or perhaps songs with their original lyrics, that wound up changing when the songs were eventually released on other albums. Or “live” versions of songs, etc.

But there are only 6 songs that I don’t recall ever hearing before, ever.  So where are the other 19 or so “brand new songs”?

I’m wondering if, next October, when we once more commemorate the anniversary of his death, they will be releasing the all-new Oops We Forgot to Include These follow-up to the follow-up of Wildflowers

I’m not 100% super happy about this, gang.

Anyway.  On we go, right?

Okay, sometime next week, I think I will finally be a guest on one of M. Christian’s podcasts (he co-hosts two podcasts), discussing The Guitar Hero Goes Home, and probably also talking positively about sex-positive topics. I will keep you posted!! I will try hard to speak like a grown-up. We shall see if I succeed or not. (Although I have already told them I will discuss anything except politics and the virus. So I’m not sure if there are any grown-up topics left…)

Regardless, I’m excited!!

Okay, let me get started here, folks. I hope you have a great Saturday underway, wherever you are in the world! I leave you with my breakfast-listening music from this morning. I was once again back to More of The Monkees! This one, another great tune penned by Mike Nesmith, a member of the group, “The Kind of Girl I Could Love”.  I truly love this song, it is so upbeat (well, I love the whole album). Play it loud. And enjoy. Thanks for visiting, gang. I love you guys. See ya!!

“The Kind Of Girl I Could Love”

Girl, you look mighty good to me
And I know that you’ve got to be
The kind of girl I could love.

You’ve got the sweetest pair of eyes
And your kiss would be paradise
The kind of girl I could love.

You do something to my soul
That no one’s ever done.
If you’re looking for true love
Then let me be the one.

Girl, deep in my soul I’m sure
And my heart has no doubt that you’re
The kind of girl I could love.
The kind of girl I could love.
[Repeat and fade]

© 1967 Michael Nesmith, Roger Atkins

Excerpt from “Novitiate”

Okay, gang, well even though I sent a one-page excerpt from “Half-Moon Bride” to the publisher today,  I am not going to post it here on the blog because that story is so insane, that reading any part of it separate from the complete story just makes it sound like the weirdest piece of pornography ever.

Eventually, you will be able to read the excerpt on the publisher’s website, but until then, you’ll just have to take my word for it — “Half-Moon Bride” is insane. (Of course, I mean that in the best possible way…)

I have decided, however, to post an excerpt from the new short story that I’m writing, “Novitiate.” This is toward the beginning of the story, and amounts to about  5pages. The story will run about 30 pages, total, so there is a whole lot more that happens after this. But these opening pages introduce you to the 2 main characters, Paula and Dave. It is Summer 1966, just before the 4th of July. Paula is soon going to be willingly initiated into a secret Group that Dave belongs to, one that believes in Free Love, group sex, gang bangs, etc.

Again, this is sexually graphic material and won’t be suitable for all readers, so please be forewarned!! Thank you!!


(This is a work in progress! Please excuse any typos.)

Excerpted from “Novitiate”
© 2020 Marilyn Jaye Lewis

Dave kissed her some more and now let his hand slide down inside her cotton panties, his fingers slipping into her pussy hair. She had her legs spread wide for him now. He could feel that she was already wet. “Don’t forget about Terri,” he warned her. “She’s pretty rough, you know. Worse than most of the guys.”

“I know,” Paula said quietly.

“She’s going to try to humiliate you in front of all of them. But just keep up with her. Let her have her way. Do whatever she tells you to do. Because I’ll tell you a secret.”

“What?” Paula was all ears.

“The guys love to see girls get humiliated by Terri. And if you can take what she dishes out, they are really gonna go for you. Plus, when some other girl gets initiated into the group, maybe it’ll be your turn to humiliate that one. You think you’d like that?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never been with a girl.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes, I’m serious.”

“Even though you go to that fancy college for girls? I thought they all got into serious pussy in those private girls’ schools.” Dave playfully slid his fingers around between her slippery pussy lips to emphasize his point.

“Well, if they do,” Paula confessed softly, spreading her legs wider, “they haven’t been doing it with me.”

“Uh-oh. It looks like we have an audience,” Dave whispered to Paula suddenly.

It was the two guys from behind the Dairy Queen – they were still smoking cigarettes but now they’d wandered into the field; they were blatantly watching Dave and Paula make out.

“You know them, though, right?” Paula asked.

“Yeah. A little. They’re harmless – just horny. What do you think, should we give them a show?”

“You mean, make out in front of them?”

“Yeah, but you know – show some real skin. Get down and dirty. You want to?”

Actually, the idea really appealed to Paula, but she didn’t want to come right out and say it. “If you want to,” she said.

“Let’s do it. It’ll be good practice for you. But let’s act like we don’t see them. It’ll make for a better show.”

They resumed kissing, acting as if they were the only two people for miles.

Bravely, Paula started it, by inching her dress up to her waist, so that it would be easy for them to see her summer legs – tanned and bare, except for her sandals – and that Dave’s hand was down inside her pink panties.

Paula moaned into Dave’s kisses then, really swirling her tongue around in his mouth. Until this very moment, having an audience while making out had only been a thing she’d fantasized about – now her heart was actually beginning to race. Dave couldn’t help but notice the sudden difference in Paula’s kisses. She was always a good kisser, but this was different. He figured that if Paula got this excited over showing her panties to a couple of guys who were watching from a distance – wait until she’s actually showing her pussy, he thought. And then he figured that she was going to do just fine at the Group’s campground, at the center of an all-out gangbang for an entire week’s initiation.

Feeling inspired, he took his hand out of Paula’s panties, sat up and then pulled her panties straight down – all the way to her ankles.

“Dave!” Paula gasped, hoping that the guys hadn’t heard her. She was trying to appear blasé about all this, but she hadn’t been expecting him to do that.

He worked her panties free of her little summer sandals and tossed them beside her onto the grass.

“There, that’s better,” he said quietly as he laid down next to her again. “This’ll keep them interested.” Then he lightly kissed her face, whispering, “Spread those legs wide again, baby. Give them a good look.”

Paula did as he told her to do. She parted her legs again, but showing her pussy now, and she knew she was the center of attention; she could literally feel their eyes from across the field, trying to look between her legs. She was so excited now, that when Dave’s fingers went up her hole, it felt electrifying.

They kissed like that for a while – mashing their tongues together like crazy, with Dave’s fingers up Paula’s hole. And he was doing that thing he did – getting his fingers in deep and rubbing them around up there, while pressing the palm of his hand right up against her stiff little clit – rubbing it at the same time. It always felt so good when he did that. It made Paula spread her legs wider while they kissed. She was rocking her pussy hole all over Dave’s fingers now.

“Is this enough?” Dave finally said. “Should I tell them to leave? Or do you want to keep going?”

“Let’s keep going,” she whispered. “At least for a little bit.”

“Okay, baby,” Dave said quietly, easing his fingers out of her pussy. “Why don’t you lean over me a little so that I can unzip the back of your dress.”

Dave laid down in the grass and Paula leaned over him to give his mouth some more of her tongue, while he reached behind her and unzipped her sundress.

And while he was at it, he unhooked her bra, too.

It was too exciting. Paula almost couldn’t believe it. She knew what Dave was going to do; he was going to pull down the top of her dress so that he could suck her nipples and fool around with her tits. They did this kind of thing all the time, but never with an audience.

As casually as she could, she sat up and let Dave slide her sundress down her arms and then push it down around her waist. Then he slid her bra off of her, too.

She was completely topless. Her tits just right out there – naked – for both of those guys to see.

Dave pulled her back down onto the grass and began sucking on her tits. First one nipple, then the other, then back again. While his fingers went right back up her slick hole, his palm rubbing against her clit again.

Oh my god, Paula moaned quietly; her nipples were always so sensitive, but this time, it felt unbelievable. Her tits in Dave’s mouth. Her pussy hole full of Dave’s busy fingers while her legs were spread. She always loved making out with Dave, but having this sudden audience made her feel so – she wasn’t sure what: erotic. That’s what it was. To be watched felt so erotic.

“Come here,” Dave suddenly said, grabbing her by the thigh and pulling her over on top of him, until she was straddling him. Then he pulled her head down to his, to suck some more of her tongue, but making sure the bottom of her dress was bunched up high around her waist now, giving their audience of two an impressive view of Paula’s wide-open pussy.

“You like that?” he asked her quietly. “Knowing they can see you down there?”

“Mm hm,” she said, starting to breathe heavy. Truthfully, she was nervous, but so horny. She couldn’t believe how exciting it felt – to be spread open and on view to whoever was behind her; to whoever wanted to see. She didn’t care now if there was a whole crowd of guys, just as long as they wanted to see.

“Are we going to go all out?” he said.

“If you want to.”

“You want me to take my dick out and we can just start fucking – with you riding it? Or you could turn around and suck my dick for a while. I bet that would probably give them a real thrill.”

She hadn’t thought of that. She was completely game. “Okay,” she said. “I’ll do it.”

Trying not to look directly at them, she turned herself around and straddled Dave – just facing away from him now. Her bare tits were totally on display while she unbuckled Dave’s belt, then unzipped his jeans and took out his cock. It was thick and erect and she gave it a couple of strokes – trying to be casual, trying to give them a good show. Then, taking her time, she leaned down and began to suck it – to actually suck Dave’s dick in front of those guys. She sucked it in and out of her mouth; nice and slow, up and down, up and down; with her tits just right out there and her nipples hard.

Two total strangers, she thought. Strangers to her, anyway. Watching her. Watching her suck Dave’s dick.

The sun was already sinking lower in the sky, but Paula figured it was still light enough for the two guys to see what they wanted to see. And then to her delight, Dave slid Paula’s hips down towards his face, until her pussy was planted right on his mouth.

With or without an audience, that felt incredible.

It was a first for Paula.

Dave had already eaten her out a number of times this summer – more than any other guy ever had, making her actually come with just his tongue. And in return, she’d given him blowjobs – he’d even told her she was good at it, sometimes coming in her mouth and she would swallow it. But this position – where they both did it to each other at the same time? This was brand new for Paula and it felt so good. And to have an audience for it! An audience of two horny guys.

Dave had her spread wide back there, keeping her clit exposed and licking it, wiggling her clit with his tongue – just the way she liked it. It was the thing she fantasized about, alone in her bed at night, hours after a date with Dave had ended. She was always able to make herself come a second time with her fingers – thinking about him licking her down there and how crazy it always felt to come in his mouth. No other guys she’d dated were ever that patient. Dave was the first guy who kept at it with his tongue until she came.

But tonight – she was in no hurry to come. Tonight, it was the show that mattered more. And if Dave didn’t ease up on her clit, she was going to come

“What’s the matter?” Dave asked quietly, as Paula scooted off his face.

“Nothing,” she said, turning around now to face him again. “I just don’t want to come yet.”

He laughed at her. “I’ve never seen you this horny. You really like to be watched, don’t you?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “I guess. This is my first time.”

“Those guys are getting pretty close to us – did you know that?”

“No,” she replied coyly, as she scooted all the way down between Dave’s legs and took his dick in her mouth again – only this time, she was on her knees in the grass with her naked ass in the air.

“Oh fuck,” Dave laughed again. “You’re not being fair to them, you know?”

Paula didn’t answer him. She was too busy sucking his stiff dick in and out of her mouth, and pushing her ass out, making sure it was easy to see her soaking pussy.

Oh god,” he groaned. “Paula, I’m gonna fucking come – you are totally turning me on right now.” He pushed her head off of him; he wanted to catch his breath. “Those guys are looking right at your pussy. They’re going to come over here.”

Paula stayed on her knees between Dave’s legs, kept her ass arched and her pussy right out there. “What should I do if they do?” she asked him quietly.

“Whatever you want, baby. I’m right here. No one’s going to hurt you. Do you feel like fucking a couple of guys tonight?”

“I don’t know,” she said softly.

“Well decide,” he told her, “because they’re coming right over here. You guys want something?” he called out to them.

Too nervous now to even move, Paula stayed planted between Dave’s legs, his hard dick right in front of her face, her pussy wide open and in the air. She was too nervous to even turn around and look at the guys, but she knew they were standing right there – right there – and that they could see everything.

“We just wanted to look,” one of the guys said. “It didn’t seem like you guys cared that we could see you.”

And the other one echoed, “Yeah, man, we just wanted to look.”

Dave replied, “You just wanted to watch her suck my cock? Or did you actually want to fuck her?”

Paula couldn’t believe her ears. She blushed and smiled at Dave and then took his dick back into her mouth. It was all she could think of to do. But she made sure to suck it nice and slow again.

“Oh fuck,” the first guy said. “You mean, we could actually fuck her?”

In response, Paula scooted her knees a little farther apart in the grass.

“She seems willing,” Dave told him.

“Oh fuck,” the guy said again. “Oh fuck, yeah, I’ll fuck her! If she wants it, I’ll fuck her.”

Paula couldn’t believe it was happening. She heard the guy unzip his jeans. She was too worked up now to so much as glance at him, afraid that she’d come to her senses if she made eye contact with either one of them; she tried to just focus on sucking Dave’s dick. He was getting so hard.

Her mouth sucked it steadily in and out, in and out. Her head moving nice and slow – up and down, up and down.

And then it was really happening – the guy was kneeling behind her, and his dick was actually going into her. He was guiding it in, pushing it, and then his stiff cock opened her soaking pussy hole all the way up. And it felt so good! A total stranger was down on his knees behind her, sticking his dick in her pussy and fucking her. Really fucking her! She couldn’t believe it.

Mmm, she moaned, her mouth full of Dave’s thick cock.

The guy held tight to her hips as he pounded his cock pretty hard into her hole. Paula moaned and groaned all over Dave’s dick. Really sucking it now while the guy fucked her like crazy.

“Oh shit,” Dave suddenly said. And he grabbed Paula’s head and began pumping his dick quickly into her mouth. She could barely keep up with it. “Oh shit, oh yeah,” he said. “Suck my dick, suck my dick.” And then he was coming in Paula’s mouth! It happened that fast. She tried to swallow it down but she felt overwhelmed; the guy was fucking her so hard now. “Oh fuck, yeah,” the guy was saying. “Fucking yeah – look at her suck that cock.”  And the force of his fucking – it was making her grunt uncontrollably – how was she supposed to swallow Dave’s cum when that guy behind her was fucking her so hard?

But she tried. She swallowed what she could but mostly she just made a big mess all over the crotch of Dave’s jeans. Oh oh oh, she grunted repeatedly now. It felt so good.

The guy was coming in her. Coming. Already. And fucking her so hard. He slammed it into her pussy. Fuck yeah, fuck yeah, he kept saying.

Paula was looking right at Dave now, while the guy behind her pounded her pussy relentlessly. Oh god, oh yeah, she said, over and over, panting and grunting in rhythm to the guy’s cock jerking up inside her, unloading his cum in her. She couldn’t help it. It felt incredible. Oh god, she grunted again. While Dave smiled at her and sort of shook his head.

Then, just as quickly as the guy had come in her, he was finished and pulled out. And to her surprise, Dave said, “Next?”

Oh god, she thought. Oh god. She couldn’t believe it.

But it was happening. She heard the next guy unzipping his jeans now. Only now, Dave was putting his own dick back inside his jeans and he moved out from under Paula and now he sat right in front of her and just watched, as the second total stranger planted himself between her spread knees and pushed his cock right into her hole.

“Oh shit,” she said softly, because now it was just her, alone, on her elbows and knees out in the field, her entire dress bunched around her waist as she got herself fucked from behind by another stranger – while Dave sat and watched.

“Oh fuck,” she said a little louder – because this second guy’s cock was kind of big; it was really stretching her open back there. And he had a tight hold on her hips, making sure she was taking every inch of him. “Oh fuck, oh fuck,” she said again, over and over. She was really getting a pounding now. And her pussy was taking every bit of it. “Shit,” she spluttered now. “Shit!”

Then the first guy came into view and sat down in the grass next to Dave. Paula couldn’t help but look right at both of them as they lit a couple of cigarettes and then just sat there and smoked, and watched her get fucked.

Oh god, oh god, yes – she chanted, even though now she was kind of embarrassed by how good it felt. And the guy didn’t seem anywhere close to coming. Fuck, fuck, she panted. “Oh fuck!” – the guy drove into her pussy hard that time and got in there too deep. Shit! she cried.

She planted her knees farther apart to steady herself. Yeah, yeah, oh fuck.

It was the hardest fucking she had ever gotten; her fingers were digging into the grass now to try to hold on. Each time the guy hammered his cock into her hole, her knees slid farther along the grass, so he would grab her hips tighter and pull her right back. “Oh shit!” she cried, again and again, as the stranger’s cock went in, over and over, going way too deep. Really nailing her hole each time and stretching her pussy beyond belief.

And he wouldn’t come. He just wouldn’t come. He was having the time of his life, fucking Paula’s tight little pussy until she didn’t think she could take it anymore.

And Dave and the other guy sat and smoked and watched every second of it.

The fireflies were starting to rise up out of the field and the sun was almost gone from the sky now. And every time the guys took drags on their cigarettes, the little fireballs glowed bright red in front of her.

Oh oh oh oh, Paula grunted out uncontrollably with every punishing thrust. She felt delirious. The guy simply wouldn’t come. Until suddenly, the guy fell down on top of her, pushing her naked tits right into the grass, and, her legs spread so wide now, he pinned her down under his weight and hammered into her hole so hard and so fast that she had no doubt he was finally coming.

And the fact that he was hollering, “Fuck! Shit! Shit!” right in her ear, was only some noisy extra proof.

Excerpted from “Novitiate”
© 2020 Marilyn Jaye Lewis