Palaces of Montezuma Grinderman 2

Yes, well. I am sort of reduced to telling you about the weather here every day, because I’m not doing a whole lot right now with which to regale you.

However, it is a sunny day here again — a little chilly, though, and very windy.

So there you have it!

And this also gives you an idea of every single morning phone call I have with my dad now, too. But in his case, he’s kind of depressed, so when the weather looks rainy and likely to keep him from taking his walk and being able to chat with other people in his assisted living compound, it turns into a long, depressing day for him. So the weather has become a huge deal.

I, of course, love the sunny mild days so that I can open the windows for the cats — they love that so fucking much; it’s almost what I live for. But other than that, I don’t care that much about the specific weather, because I love all weather. I get a little anxious when it’s super windy and pieces of the roof of my barn go soaring away. Or if we get a torrential downpour with high winds, then it grieves me to find pieces of the bathroom ceiling on the bathroom floor. Other than that, I’m just a big fan of weather.

Anyway. So now I’ve talked about the weather. (Oh, and that reminds me, there was a really funny video on TikTok that I saw this morning by @TylerJarry — “When Dads talk about the weather.” It was just hysterical. I think his videos are always really funny — such intensely silly stuff about suburban parents that is so spot-on.) Well, it felt good to laugh out loud.

Yesterday was a rough day for me. I had such high hopes for it, but by early afternoon, I was back in bed, with more difficulty breathing. And even though I try so hard to be optimistic and upbeat and all that crap — I finally just broke down and cried. I am just so fucking sick of this virus. It is now 18 days.

I know I have it better than so many people — and aside from the breathing, my life is actually kind of perfect. So I hate to resort to tears, but yesterday, I had just had it.

I’m trying again today, though. So we shall see. I’m supposed to work with Peitor on Abstract Absurdity Productions stuff. I’m breathing pretty good right now, so I hope it stays that way by this afternoon.

Well, I watched the first episode of “Dummy” on Quibi yesterday (the comedy about the woman who becomes friends with her boyfriend’s AI sex doll). There were things about it that I liked, so I’ll keep watching it to give it a chance. But even though the show was created by and written by a woman (Cody Heller), I really just hate when smutty dialogue is passed off as “empowering to women.”

After having lived most of my adult life in various areas of the sex industry, I know for a fact that women can talk about sex and their identities relating to sex, and be frank and open and maybe even talk like a sailor, without actually being “smutty,” you know? I don’t think that speaking coarse about sex empowers women at all.

But it was only the first episode, so we shall see.

I’m still a big fan of “Agua Donkeys”, though. That show cracks me up. (And the writing on that show actually does empower women.)

Nick Cave sent out a Red Hand Files letter today. It’s about his song, “Palaces of Montezuma,” on the Grinderman 2 album. It’s a song I really love — and I think I’ve posted it here on the blog a couple of times. But in his letter today, he drew a comparison between that song and Lou Reed’s song, “Andy’s Chest,” — from the Transformer album. And I’m really surprised that I had never seen the similarities before, but they are indeed there. So very interesting.

Many decades ago — particularly during the years when I lived in the hellhole tenement on E. 12th Street in the East Village — I played that record Transformer a lot. But oddly enough, I am not a fan of Andy Warhol, so I think I probably blocked out “Andy’s Chest”(which was written for Andy Warhol).

I met Andy Warhol a number of times at art gallery-type functions in NYC. And I also worked at the Museum of Modern Art, and met him there, too. I didn’t know him, or anything. I simply “met” him — repeatedly. And he always seemed really, really nice. He really did. And I sort of appreciated his approach to his Pop Art paintings. And I did see a number of his movies in cinemas in NYC. And I bought his (often expensive) books.

But I still kept feeling that his forte was exploiting people when they were vulnerable. And I’m guessing that a whole lot of those people wanted to be exploited — still. It just felt like a no-brainer to me, you know? Is exploiting people actually art? I honestly don’t know the true answer to that. Defining “art” gets murky indeed.

But it was still sort of bittersweet to hear all those other songs on Transformer this morning. Songs that I used to just love that I had kind of forgotten about because eventually I wound up gravitating more to some of those amazing albums he did in the 1980s. But to hear Transformer again — it was that repeated feeling of: Oh my god, I know every single word to this song… and trying to remember when that had happened. At what point had I memorized every word? And at what point did I move on?

Anyway. If you’d like to read Nick Cave’s comments about his song “Palaces of Montezuma,” it’s at that link above. (Or here, to make it easier.)

Well, truth be told, I had a very slow start this morning because I had some trouble getting out of bed. And so I’m posting this a lot later in the morning than I usually post, so I’m going to get going here. I hope you have a terrific Tuesday, wherever you are in the world. I hope you’re staying hopeful and healthy, and getting a good grip on the weather!

I leave you with my breakfast-listening music from this morning. I hadn’t listened to this song in a really long time, but I always loved it. It’s such a great song to listen to when you want to feel hopeless about love! However, today it came to mind because of the lyric “somebody can’t breathe” — and I’m guessing you can figure out why that specific lyric popped into my fucking head!!!

And on that note… Thanks for visiting, gang. I love you guys. See ya!

“Somebody’s Me”

You, do you remember me
Like I remember you?
Do you spend your life
Going back in your mind to that time?

‘Cause I, I walk the streets alone
I hate being on my own
And everyone can see that I really fell
And I’m going through hell
Thinking about you with somebody else

Somebody wants you
Somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you every single night
Somebody can’t breathe, without you it’s lonely
Somebody hopes that one day you will see
That somebody’s me
That somebody’s me
Yeah

How, how did we go wrong?
It was so good and now it’s gone
And I pray at night that our paths soon will cross
And what we had isn’t lost
‘Cause you’re always right here in my thoughts

Somebody wants you
Somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you every single night
Somebody can’t breathe, without you it’s lonely
Somebody hopes that someday you will see
That somebody’s me
Oh, yeah

You will always be in my life
Even if I’m not in your life
‘Cause you’re in my memory
You, when you remember me
And before you set me free
Oh, listen please