Happy Palm Sunday if you celebrate it, gang.

And Happy Pesach, if you celebrate Passover, which began yesterday evening.

My adoptive maternal grandmother’s table literally looked like the photo below on Pesach. It was a huge holiday for us. We did it mostly in Hebrew, with some English. It took HOURS for the dinner to be over. I won’t say I didn’t enjoy it, but, as a little girl, it felt like the ceremony/meal would never end.

But the ending of the evening was fun — by then, my grandfather would have hidden the afikoman, and the children at the table had to go find it. (We always did.) And then my grandfather gave us each a silver dollar. Then we said the final prayer and the night was officially over.

As I got a little older, and celebrated the seder with friends whose families were Reformed Jews (we were Conservative), and they did the whole ceremony in English — I could not believe how fast it went! Suddenly the meal is served and then, just as suddenly, it was all over. Frankly, it made me wonder why they even bothered.

For many years, I was the youngest in my family, and so this was my part in the ceremony — reciting the Ma Nishtana, or the 4 Questions:

I can still recite it by heart. It was a big deal to me.

Nowadays, I think of Passover as being Jesus of Nazareth’s final meal before his arrest — not so much the Israelites wandering in the desert for 40 years. But I did inherit all of my grandmother’s fine porcelain china (complete service for 12) and some of her seder pieces and her white linen tablecloth with 12 linen napkins, so it’s all still with me.

Okay! Anyway,

It is a really lovely Sunday morning here in the Hinterlands. And the guy who takes care of my lawn is already here, mowing the grass!

Laundry is underway. And something like 1700 cats have been fed.

Here’s a photo from yesterday — when the kittens officially opened their eyes:

And here’s this from yesterday!

I did indeed take my favorite 94-year-old Japanese client out for sashimi (and sake — for him) and, as usual, our fortune cookies were uncanny!! (Well, at least I hope that mine will prove to be uncanny really, really soon!)

What’s interesting, though, is that this time, he actually agreed to read his fortune and he was startled by it, since, of course, his primary language is Japanese. His is the top, mine the bottom:

And here’s this–

When my favorite 94-year-old Japanese man was working his way through night school at NYU in NYC in the early 1950s, he worked as a TV repairman during the day. TVs were basically brand new back then, and they looked exactly like this!

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I will probably take a walk today, since it is so pretty out, but other than that, I will be here at my desk working on the TV pilot script!

On another note, I’m finding that I’m really struggling to not be sad — with the one-year anniversary of my dad’s death approaching on Thursday.

I had such an intense dream last night — a man was coming into the living room to rape me, and I went running into my dad’s bedroom, shouting, “Help me, Dad, help me!” But my dad was near-dead with cancer and was struggling to even move.

Oddly, though, there were several other younger men in the bedroom and in the house, who did help me. And when I woke up and was thinking about the dream, I figured the other men were probably spirits of some kind. In real life, the times I was raped and otherwise sexually assaulted, my dad didn’t even live in the same town as I did. And at that point in my life, I was literally on my own in everything. I couldn’t go to my mother for any kind of help at all. I couldn’t go to anyone. For many complex reasons, the 1970s were both the most amazing and horrifying years of my life.

But somehow, even though the dream was a little disturbing, it felt like closure for me. It really did. The spiritual part of it.

I’ve posted this photo here before, and it’s a little creepy-looking. My dad is still alive here — my stepsister texted me this photo one morning, about 4 months before he died, to assure me that my dad was sleeping soundly and was, basically “fine.” But the photo really upset me at the time , because to me, my dad looked dead.

Anyway, my dad looked exactly like this the day before he died, when I went to visit him for the last time. And now I’m glad I have the photo, because it is my last photo of my dad and it reminds me of my last time with him.

I held his hand and sang to him that final day — “Release Me”. I won’t go into the story behind that song again, I’ve posted it here before, but it was in honor of my dad and his very difficult life with my mother and his final release from all that.

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And I think that’s it for now!

Gonna finish the laundry and get started on the script.

Have a wonderful Palm Sunday if you celebrate it, gang.

Thanks for visting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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I leave you with this!

As a very young girl in Hebrew school, this was my absolute favorite song!! I used to sing it all the time, actually. Even when I wasn’t in school.

Today, it brings back such wonderful memories for me.

“Hinei Ma Tov” — which comes from the first verse of Psalm 133. Even if you don’t speak Hebrew, listen to this! It’s so wonderful!! (And it includes English translation.)

Okay, enjoy, gang. And rejoice.

Yes! It’s another gloomy day here in the Hinterlands! You know how much I love that. However —

Yesterday, gang, was a really interesting day for me.

First off, Peitor and I continue to get some really keen interest in our TV Pilot and series proposal, stemming from Series Mania in France a couple weeks back.

We still have a lot of work to do on revising the script — we’ve mapped it all out, we just need to actually format it into scenes and put it in the script. But we are both seriously energized about the interest we’re getting.

I have FOUR (!!) days off from caregiving this coming week. One day will be set aside to drive down and visit my dad’s grave. Half a day will be set aside for practicing at the shooting range (apparently spending spiritual time with my other dad — my birth father — whose heavenly birthday is tomorrow, btw. He would have been 80 !!! I cannot process this. He is eternally about 43 in my mind.)

Anyway, the rest of the time off will be spent on the script. (Oh, and looking after newborn kittens!!)

(Oh, and guess who kept walking back & forth past my kitchen porch yesterday, checking out the little straw-filled cat houses? The little girls from next door!!!! I know they are trying to find the kittens!!!!! (Who are here inside with me now.) Here’s hoping, though, that their mom will let them adopt at least one!!)

Okay, anyway. I digress.

So the reason yesterday was so interesting for me — I had a conversation with the woman who cleans house for the clients I was with yesterday. We talked about a lot of things — mostly Medicare, insurance in general, her grown kids & their lives, the scary health situations with most of my clients.

And I came away from that realizing that I have a really incredible life.

Even on my limited income these days, I still own my own home with a very low mortgage, I lease a brand new Honda that NEVER breaks down, I am really seriously healthy, my debts are manageable now, I live in a village that is peaceful, quiet, safe, with about zippo crime. I have had a wonderful career (and it isn’t over yet), and I somehow managed to get the most amazing insurance guy who has made the whole Medicare thing a truly affordable breeze for me.

I’m usually so focused on making sure the bills are paid, feeding 729 cats, getting to all my various clients on time, not feeling emotionally drained by the time I get home, etc., that I haven’t stepped back and gotten a broad view of my life, in general, for quite a while — and now, compared to the average person in the next county.

Wow.

But on that happy note — I gotta scoot. Another day awaits with my favorite 94-year-old Japanese client!! And who knows what sorts of jaw-dropping coincidences will be revealed today?! We shall soon find out.

Okay!!

Enjoy your Friday, wherever you are in the world, gang.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!!

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Here’s this!! The countdown to Good Friday and Easter continues!!

James Tabor – Last Days of Jesus Pt 2–What Got Him Killed? (8 mins):

I slept in this morning because yesterday wound up being a really, really, REALLY draining day.

I am hoping that today will be completely different.

But this is just a quick post, because I gotta leave here soon. And if all things seem good with him when I get to his house, my favorite 94-year-old Japanese client and I will be going here:

Sashimi — and sake (for him).

It’s been raining a lot here so we probably won’t stop at the nature preserve, but I guess we’ll see. He really loves doing that.

Tomorrow should be a really nice day for me — my Q-following girlfriend from town and I are meeting for lunch after my shift. Going to our favorite place — Tequilaville!!

I really, really need a break. I need to have some fun and laugh and relax with someone who knows me well and who is not a client. Even though I really love my clients.

Hopefully, I’ll have enough energy when I get home later today to do some more work on the pilot script. We still have a few more revisions we want to do. But I’m still really happy with the direction the changes are going in.

Which reminds me —

I love this show!! It is so much fun. Valerie in Brooklyn turned me on to it last week. “Ludwig,” a BBC murder mystery series starring David Mitchell. There are 3 episodes so far on BritBox.

Okay, that’s it. I gotta scoot!

Enjoy your Friday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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An old favorite…

Yes, I wish it would quit raining, but, as we are constantly reminded when we say that: “April showers bring May flowers!” So I’m trying to be okay with it.

At least the weather is warm — no jackets necessary, for now. AND — my dogwood is blooming!

It’s an ancient dogwood tree, outside my kitchen window, but two seasons ago, it suddenly sprang an entirely new tree from it’s trunk and that one is blooming like crazy right now. (The older part of the tree takes a little longer, but it’s full of buds.)

Anyway. When I saw the dogwood blooming when I came home yesterday, it made me really happy.

I had a rough day yesterday with my favorite 94-year-old Japanese client. I’m not sure what caused the setback, but when I arrived, he was already dressed and sitting in his wheelchair in the kitchen — right in front of the kitchen door. Totally silent. He scared the heck out of me when I let myself in because he is usually still asleep in bed.

The hard part for me was that he didn’t recognize me. He didn’t know who I was. I could see he was really struggling with it, so I just tried to act normal, do what I always do, say what I always say, and as the day went on he mostly got his bearings — I’d say 99%.

That depresses me when it happens, but it had been a really long time since it last happened, so it was hard. But I had to hide all of those feelings in order to not alarm him — which makes it even harder on me.

And today, I have a different client. She is in really bad shape. She is very emotionally attached to me when I’m there, so that is exhausting, too — and, again, I can’t show it.

Anyway. I’m working hard to stay aligned with myself.

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If you signed up for those White House text messages, then I’m sure you got the link to Trump’s speech yesterday — explaining Liberation Day.

Not just tariffs but the colossal amount of money that various countries and companies have committed to giving to the US.

From George News yesterday afternoon — (includes news footage):

“HAPPY LIBERATION DAY, AMERICA! 🇺🇸💰

President Donald J. Trump has secured nearly $5,000,000,000,000 in investment and trade commitments from across the globe.”

If you missed his speech, you can see it in easy segments HERE.

My understanding is that within 6 months, we should start to see some remarkable affects to our overall economy because of this.

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There’s also this from Trump — which should help us all enormously:

“Speaker of the House Mike Johnson and Senate Majority Leader John Thune have been working tirelessly on taking the next step to pass the plan for our ONE, BIG, BEAUTIFUL BILL, as it is known, as well as getting us closer to the Debt Extension necessary to continue our great work. The Senate Budget plan gives us the tools that we need to get our shared priorities done, including certain PERMANENT Tax Cuts, Spending Cuts, Energy, Historic Investments in Defense, Border, and much more. We are going to cut Spending, and right-size the Budget back to where it should be. The Senate Plan has my Complete and Total Support. Likewise, the House is working along the same lines. Every Republican, House and Senate, must UNIFY. We need to pass it IMMEDIATELY!”

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Okay, with that, I guess I gotta scoot.

Enjoy your Thursday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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The other day, I picked up a used Best of Neil Diamond CD at the Dollar Store. So that’s what I’ve been playing in the mornings.

What I find interesting is that most of these hits, I remember primarily from his live album, Hot August Night (1972), which both my mom and I listened to constantly back then. (My adoptive mother was a huge Neil Diamond fan.)

So listening to the original versions of these hit songs, the way they first sounded on AM radio, and not listening to them “live”, is sort of jarring. But in a good way. It makes the songs sound more immediate and intimate, and in some cases, heartbreaking.

As I’ve been re-listening to the song “Shilo”, it sort of stops me short now, because I see the parallels now between the lyrics and how my own life was back then — although from a girl’s point of view, and my “Shilo” was my imaginary birth father in my head.

If you’re new to the blog — I suffered from mental illness for most of my life, stemming from relentless mental, emotional, physical and (later) sexual abuse. I lived about 90% of my waking hours in an imaginary world. Especially when I was at home. And I didn’t talk very much. If I wasn’t alone in my room, I usually sat quietly and stared.

Anyway. All of this comes back to me while listening to this song. But it’s a beautiful song.

“Shilo” by Neil Diamond. Here is the Hot August Night version (1972) — the one I knew best. Enjoy, gang.

“Shilo”

Young child with dreams
Dream every dream on your own
When children play
Seems like you end up alone
Papa says he’d love to be with you
If he had the time
So you turn to the only friend you can find
There in your mind

Shilo, when I was young
I used to call your name
When no one else would come
Shilo, you always came and we’d play

Young girl with fire
Something said she understood
I wanted to fly
She made me feel like I could

Held my hand out, I let her take me
Blind as a child
All I saw was the way
That she made me smile
She made me smile

Shilo, when I was young
I used to call your name
When no one else would come
Shilo, you always came and you’d stay

Had a dream and it filled me with wonder
She had other plans
“Got to go” and I know that you’ll understand
I understand

Shilo, when I was young
I used to call your name
When no one else would come
Shilo, you always came

Come today
Shilo
Shilo

c- 1968 Neil Diamond