Tag Archives: Nick Cave Red Hand Files

All Right, I’m Here!

October 29, 2025 marilyn jaye lewis Leave a comment

Yesterday was actually kinda good, gang, but I had to keep reminding myself of that by the time I walked in the door last evening.

I am trying my best to “like Tuesdays” because otherwise, well, everything about Tuesdays now are not my favorite thing. And I don’t want to work against myself by having bad energy. So I am trying to find reasons to “like Tuesdays.” (My 10-hr shift days.)

I got an early start, which helped. I was actually able to run FOUR errands before I got to my clients’ home. Including zipping over to the post office to get a Certified Letter from my first husband, in Seattle. A letter that he sends every month now, and it really perks my spirits. He does this because he has very fond memories of our marriage (we got married in NYC, 44 years ago (!!) — I’m not sure how that’s possible!).

Anyway, I have very fond memories of that marriage, too. We were both young, trying to make it in NYC, and from wildly different backgrounds. (He, from Singapore, me, from Ohio.) Intense years, truly. NYC in the 1980s.

Anyway. He is 69 now and starting to have some mild “cognitive issues” which makes me a little wistful, gang. I want to try to speak on the phone with him more often, just to try to keep a better connection to his mind. However, he has a lifetime partner of over 30 years, who does not know he was ever married, let alone married for 9 years, so it gets tricky….

He was the man I was married to when we lived in the Camelot Building, near Times Square:

The photo I took when I was in NYC last November, in a hotel that was 2 blocks from the Camelot apartment building.

Well, I digress!

Yesterday was okay, all things considered. My attitude was good, my energy was good. But then SEVEN MINUTES (literally) before I was supposed to clock out and leave, my client suddenly started asking me to do a bunch of things.

I can’t say “no” because he is not able to easily do these things himself, and so that’s why I’m there. But, you know — do you have to wait until SEVEN MINUTES before I’m supposed to leave??? When I’ve been there all day??

I tried really hard to be empathetic and patient and just cheerfully do what he needed done, but by the time I got into my car, my mood was sort of tanking…. I still had to go to the grocery store and do all that nonsense. And I kept trying not to hate Tuesdays…

But that’s done and now it’s Wednesday, and I’m heading out here soon to see my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man. So on we go.

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Okay!

This is what it looks like when I put the sheets in the laundry and then try to re-make the bed!!!

And, btw, the scroll over the head of the bed is that literal translation of the “Ten Words” (in English, we know it as the Ten Commandments), that I got from Ross K. Nichols recently.

It’s kind of an interesting thing to have in your field of vision at all times.

Even in its literal translation, there are still 4 out of the 10 that I managed to break with ease — and a couple of them, I broke quite a few memorable/colorful times…

That 2nd Commandment, though, is one that has always eluded me — rest on the 7th day. As in, do absolutely nothing but light some candles, pray, drink some wine and then sort of peacefully enjoy all of God’s creations.

I can’t even imagine an entire day, let alone, one entire day each week, wherein I do anything that remotely resembles that. But it sure would be nice.

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Nick Cave sent out one of those Red Hand Files yesterday, wherein he answers 50 questions with either a Yes, No, I don’t know, or Go Fuck Yourself. This time, he answered 75 questions, and he had quite a few “go fuck yourself” replies. Plus a little koala bear emoji. And some other emojis and some great art.

I usually find these Q & A’s really fun, but yesterday’s were off the charts with “attitude”. Wow. You can read them HERE.

NICK CAVE – WILD GOD BY SEAN BW PARKER, 2025

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Oh, well, sadly, I gotta scoot now or I’m gonna be late.

Have a wonder-filled Wednesday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

***********

I leave you with this. Late-night-listening music!

2 songs I hadn’t heard in a LONG time.

One from Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds, “I Do, Dear, I Do” 1997 (I think).

“I Do, Dear, I Do”

I wish you happy Christmas
I do, dear, I do
I wish for you the stars, babe
I wish for you the moon

You can sit, and you can drink your champagne
With your gibbering goon
I hope he’s being good to you
I do, dear, I do

Ain’t no ill wind blow your way
Wish that you will keep safe
Up there in your leather, babe
With your ivory and ape

Things down here are fragmented
In fact, they’ve exploded all over the room
I think everything’s a little off-center, babe
I do, dear, I do

You said, that to love me you must set me free
Now, that may all be very well
Still I miss you baby
More than words can really tell

Sometimes I cannot sleep
The greatness of my hate for you
Sometimes I cannot sleep
For I miss you

May your day be bright as the eyes
Of the girl that I once knew
May your sun be happy yellow, babe
And your sky be baby blue

I miss your manic scratchings
And your howling at the moon
Ten steps behind me
With your dustpan and broom

I hope you wish for me
All the things I wish for you
Health, hope, and happiness
The sun and the moon

Say hello to the one
Who really don’t have a clue
I’ll be calling you soon
I think I love you

I do, dear, I do

c – 1997 Nick Cave

And one from Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers’ album, Into the Great Wide Open, “All the Wrong Reasons”, 1991.

“All The Wrong Reasons”

Trouble blew in on a cold dark wind
It came without no warning
And that big ol’ house went up for sale
They were on the road by morning
Oh, the days went slow, into the changing season
Oh, out in the cold for all the wrong reasons

Well she grew up hard and she grew up fast
In the age of television
And she made a vow to have it all
It became her new religion
Oh, down in her soul it was an act of treason
Oh, down they go for all the wrong reasons

Where the sky begins the horizon ends
Despite the best intentions
And a big ol’ man goes up for sale
He becomes his own invention
Oh, the days go slow into the changing season
Oh, bought and sold for all the wrong reasons
Oh, down they go for all the wrong reasons

c – 1991 Tom Petty

You’re Not Gonna Believe This!

October 23, 2025 marilyn jaye lewis Leave a comment

Well, yesterday’s shift with my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man was an ordeal from start to finish. (If you missed yesterday’s post, it is here.)

I was expecting the repairman to be there by the time I arrived, but he was not.

And when I went inside the house, my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man was already awake. Dressed and everything. AND very upset. And long story short — he had chased the repairman away. He had completely forgotten that the repairman was coming: “Why didn’t anyone tell me he was coming??” But he was cognizant enough to know that his family was behind sending the repairman , so he spent the rest of the day saying various versions of “can’t they wait till I’m dead? I’ll be dead in 2 minutes!” and “let them do all these repairs after I’m dead! What’s they’re hurry?? I’ll be dead in 2 minutes!!”

And then he said a whole lot of other really not nice things about his family. Over and over and over and over. He was essentially traumatized. So I was up to my eyeballs in it from the moment I got there.

And then, after I’d only been there about 20 minutes, lo & behold my supervisor arrived. She usually stops in every other month to collect my daily paperwork from the shifts, so it wasn’t a bad surprise or anything, but I wasn’t expecting her. I met her out on the back porch to forewarn her about what my client was dealing with, etc., and we discussed that for a minute and then she said (!!)–

SHE: “Well, I’m actually here today to give you these.”

At that point, I finally became cognizant of the fact that she had a huge bouquet of flowers in her arms.

SHE (continued): “You’ve been chosen Caregiver of the Month!”

I was astounded, gang! I honestly never thought I would be selected for anything like that, since I think of myself as a caregiver who’s always calling, texting, and asking everyone to please cut back on my hours!

Wow. Honestly, I was just thrilled. And they also gave me a really beautiful card–

CARD: “Not everyone can do what you do but anyone can see that what you do makes a wonderful difference. Congrats, Marilyn. We’re blessed to have you on our team. Thank you from all of us!”

Talk about extremes, though, right? I really was just thrilled by this — and those FLOWERS!! And meanwhile, I had my traumatized client to try to sooth, and his family from Florida, and the private nurse, texting me endlessly all day.

But, really. Wow. My whole heart was just smiling.

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On a similar theme —

This evening, I have another shift with that wonderful woman who lives in the enormous, love-filled, split-level house in the hills behind the Bryn Du Mansion — the house wherein you need a map to find the bathroom .

The last time I saw her, I discovered that she had taken a really bad turn in her cognitive abilities. And I was updated yesterday by my supervisor, that the client has gotten worse and that hospice has been called in.

So this is very heartbreaking. Now we are all basically waiting for her to die. She is such a sweet woman, gang. And before her illness, she had been a college English professor. Her bookshelves are lined with the same novels that I remember reading back when I lived in NYC. Intellectual stuff — mostly European, from the 20th Century and earlier — not popular mass market paperbacks.

Anyway. I then found out that at least for the month of November, they have made me a regular caregiver for her — on Saturday nights. So I will still have my 2 days off each week, and Thanksgiving off, too, but I’ll be working double-shifts on Saturdays as we just sort of wait for this lovely lady to die.

Ouch. That hurts the heart so much, right? Whenever I help her into bed at night, at the end of my shift, she really gently says: “What is your name again?”

“Marilyn.”

“Marilyn, thank you so much for taking care of me.”

I’m really going to miss her. So I want to make every moment with her last as long as it can.

And I look at my flowers now, gang, and my heart still manages to smile.

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Okay!

Here’s this!

Keith wearing a hat at some point:

And the Stones in 1968!

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And today is the anniversary of 2 really sad things — the death of my beautiful cat, Bunny, back in 2016. And the death of my best friend in the world, Paul Martin, back in 1999.

Here’s a painting of Bunny that Valerie in Brooklyn made for me when Bunny was still very much alive:

And here’s Paul, sometime in the late 1980s, when he was visiting for Thanksgiving, when I was living on E.12th Street in the East Village (NYC):

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And the big news!!

“LIVE GOD” new live album by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds.

Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds have a LIVE album coming out on December 5th!!

“…a stunning testament to The Wild God Tour, which wowed audiences across the UK, Europe and North America in 2024 and ‘25, and which travels to Australia and New Zealand in 2026….

… The expansive tracklist includes performances of the entirety of the acclaimed 2024 studio album Wild God, as well as mind-blowing versions of catalogue favourites, such as ‘From Her To Eternity’, ‘Papa Won’t Leave You, Henry’ and ‘Into My Arms’.

The album is available to pre-order now on Premium Double Gatefold LP, Double CD and Digital. Pre-orders from the Artist Store will also include a limited edition photo print signed by Nick Cave – while stocks last. “

I think this is the photo they’re talking about. Warren Ellis posted it to his Instagram page yesterday:

I think this video is the song that is the first single from the album:

The video was made while on tour in ~~Columbus~~ — OOPS! Of course, I meant PARIS! So easy to confuse the two cities…

And in other Nick Cave news–

He sent out a new Red Hand File this morning, wherein he addresses some questions asked by a fan, but he also goes on to give the fan advice about addictions. Nick says, in part:

“…You may tell yourself that you are managing your life – your job, your relationship, your children’s well-being – but if you are, as you say, addicted to ice, then the wheels have already come off. I say this with all the love and respect in the world, as someone who was hooked on heroin and amphetamines for twenty years – addict to addict – you need to stop fucking around and get clean.…”

What he had to say in full about addiction and getting clean was really good. You can read it HERE.

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And now, I have a few hours before I have to leave for my shift with that lovely lady who is slowly leaving us.

I have all my monthly bills to pay here, then I think I might take a walk. Think about life versus the absence thereof.

Enjoy your Thursday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

**********

I leave you with this.

The first time I went out to Nevada to meet my birth father, I had brought along a cassette of Bob Dylan’s Blood on the Tracks.

The album came out in 1975, and oddly enough, the first time I heard it was in the mental hospital (in summer 1975). One of the other patients had just gotten it as a gift, and we were all listening to it together on the record player in the Music Therapy building.

All of us were teenagers, and we were all really liking the album a lot. But suddenly the music therapist came sweeping in and abruptly shut off the record player. She said, “I’m sorry but I just can’t stand this! It’s not music!!”

Eventually, owning my own copy of this album and playing it whenever I wanted to was a type of freedom for me.

I’m not sure why I brought that specific cassette along with me when I went to meet my birth dad (in 1988). However.

My dad lived in a double-wide trailer in the desert, not too far from Reno. One morning, I was in the kitchen, washing the breakfast dishes and listening to the cassette on his tape player.

And then my father came in from outside and said, “Wow, what is that? I love it!” Worth waiting for — that moment in time.

The song that was playing at that moment was “Shelter from the Storm.”

So, you know, hanging in there and pursuing dreams has always been a really great thing for me. Regardless of how things go or end up.

So I leave you with this.

“Shelter from the Storm”, 1975. Bob Dylan, Blood on the Tracks. Enjoy, gang.

"Shelter From the Storm"

'Twas in another lifetime, one of toil and blood
When blackness was a virtue the road was full of mud
I came in from the wilderness, a creature void of form
Come in, she said
I'll give ya shelter from the storm
And if I pass this way again, you can rest assured
I'll always do my best for her, on that I give my word
In a world of steel-eyed death, and men who are fighting to be warm
Come in, she said
I'll give ya shelter from the storm
Not a word was spoke between us, there was little risk involved
Everything up to that point had been left unresolved
Try imagining a place where it's always safe and warm
Come in, she said
I'll give ya shelter from the storm
I was burned out from exhaustion, buried in the hail
Poisoned in the bushes an' blown out on the trail
Hunted like a crocodile, ravaged in the corn
Come in, she said
I'll give ya shelter from the storm
Suddenly I turned around and she was standin' there
With silver bracelets on her wrists and flowers in her hair
She walked up to me so gracefully and took my crown of thorns
Come in, she said
I'll give ya shelter from the storm
Now there's a wall between us, somethin' there's been lost
I took too much for granted, I got my signals crossed
Just to think that it all began on an uneventful morn
Come in, she said
I'll give ya shelter from the storm
Well, the deputy walks on hard nails and the preacher rides a mount
But nothing really matters much, it's doom alone that counts
And the one-eyed undertaker, he blows a futile horn
Come in, she said
I'll give ya shelter from the storm
I've heard newborn babies wailin' like a mournin' dove
And old men with broken teeth stranded without love
Do I understand your question, man, is it hopeless and forlorn
Come in, she said
I'll give ya shelter from the storm
In a little hilltop village, they gambled for my clothes
I bargained for salvation and she gave me a lethal dose
I offered up my innocence I got repaid with scorn
Come in, she said
I'll give ya shelter from the storm
Well, I'm livin' in a foreign country but I'm bound to cross the line
Beauty walks a razor's edge, someday I'll make it mine
If I could only turn back the clock to when God and her were born
Come in, she said
I'll give ya shelter from the storm

c - 1975 Bob Dylan

Okay, I’m Back!

October 8, 2025 marilyn jaye lewis Leave a comment

Yesterday was long but not so terrible!

And it was made even longer by the fact that I had to get my groceries, etc., after my really long shift, because it was the only time I would be able to get to that part of town until next week.

But, anyway. It’s over and it wasn’t so terrible. Yay.

Today, I not only head back to see my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man and most likely, take him to lunch here:

But also, as soon as I get back home, a local handyman is coming over to install bolts to both of my storage closet doors, because the cats are able to let themselves into both of these closets and they destroy everything.

I’ve been having to keep them closed with duct tape, which is really ugly. Plus, whenever I actually need to get into one of these closets (which is often), I have to deal with ripping off the duct tape, tearing paint off the door, and then reapplying more duct tape. So today will be really exciting for me! Not so much for the cats…

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Here’s this!

Keith! Twice!!

**********

Here are a couple of interesting videos. One short, one long:

From Ross K. Nichols:

“Could the same logic Singer applies to Huff’s Christian apologetic views be applied to Tovia Singer’s Jewish views? Are the views of these two men really so different after all? Dive in to discover how Huff and Singer stumble into a shared pitfall.”

What Do Wes Huff and Tovia Singer BOTH Get Wrong? (5 mins):

And one re-posted by James Tabor (from the BBC, 1962):

T.E. Lawrence 1888 – 1935 (1 hr):

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This was really great. Prime “young Tom Petty” attitude!! I loved this.

Originally on MTV, 1985.

Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers Southern Accents documentary (30 mins):

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Here’s this–

Finally!! It will be opening in movie theaters in the US! (I’m guessing this will involve another 1-hour trip to the movie theater & back with my dear friend Kara!! We shall see!)

[To refresh your memory — Kara, in our hotel room, when we went to see Nick Cave & the Bad Sees, back in May.]

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And here’s this!

Remember when Nick Cave recently donated 2,000 books to charity? (I think, but I am not certain, that these books were merely the ones on his night table and he no longer had room for his coffee cup…) Anyway–

And while we’re at it–

Here’s just one of the MANY great songs on the Let Love In album from 1994, “Do You Love Me?” (I could probably listen to this song over and over and over and — oh, wait! I already have!!):

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And speaking of Nick Cave–

He sent out a very interesting Red Hand File yesterday, that mostly discussed his day. And cereal. He says, in part:

“…the first letter I see is yours, Sammie. “Check your privilege,” you say. I close my eyes, lean back, and do precisely that. I reflect on how music, which started as a hobby, became my calling- my avocation turned vocation- as love and need became intertwined, and how profound a privilege it was to be in this position. I think about all of it, my job, my friends, my family, and how it all could have been so different had fortune not been on my side – extraordinary luck, cosmic happenstance perhaps, the kindness and generosity of the world. I take none of this for granted, Sammie, and in the back of the cab my heart flows with gratitude….”

You can read it in full HERE.

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Okay, so on Monday — as far as “reading the novel over from page one to the end”– actually, Sandra called me, in need of an emergency “bio” update, for her upcoming theater performance in NYC at the end of October.

It took a couple of hours, and by the time I was done with it, I didn’t get to make much headway in proofing The Curse of Our Profound Disorder. I’m only 28 (!!) pages into it, but I have tomorrow off, so we shall see!

Meanwhile… if you are interested in Sandra’s amazing career!

Sandra Caldwell
Bio

“A true entertainer in every sense of the word…” - NY Times
“A black trans woman of immense poise, beauty, and – pardon me, I can’t help it – charm…” – Variety
“A provocative entertainer combined with powerful vocal skills, Sandra Caldwell has it all…” –Toronto Star

Sandra Caldwell is a celebrated African American actress, singer, and writer whose 45+ year career extends throughout the worlds of film, television, and theater.

Starting out as a jazz singer – her first love – she performed with top orchestras in some of the world’s finest venues, including the Montreal Jazz Festival, the Montreux Jazz Festival, the Newport Jazz Festival, and the White House Jazz on the Lawn series. In her early days, she was a fixture in the café society set in numerous nightspots across the country, also hosting the radio show, Sunday Afternoons with Sandra Caldwell on Jazz FM91 in Toronto.

On television, Sandra has been seen in recurring roles in The Gilded Age (HBO, seasons 1/3; Dir. Deborah Kampeire), Fantasma (HBO; Dir. Julio Torres), as well as in High Maintenance, The Book of Negroes, 19-2, Soul Food, and, as a series regular, in Little Men. She had guest-starring roles in such hit shows as Law & Order: SVU and Rookie Blue. Sandra was a featured performer in many TV movies, including Good Fences with Whoopie Goldberg, and Disney’s The Cheetah Girls.

Sandra’s film work includes The Jackie Shane Story (Dir. Michael Engle), Any Other Way (Bangor Films; Dir. Michael Mabbott), along with memorable work in past films, such as Milo & Millie, Murder at 1600, Shall We Dance, and Maya Angelou’s directorial debut, Down in the Delta.

In theater, Sandra appeared in the musical Buddy: The Buddy Holly Story (Shubert Theater); the Original Workshop for Ragtime (Live Ent. Productions); the drama Coming Through Slaughter (Necessary Angel Theater, Toronto); and was nominated for a Dora Award, Canada’s highest theater award, for her work in Duke Ellington's Sophisticated Ladies (Sterling Productions, Toronto).

Notably, in 2017 in the NY Times, Sandra came out publicly as transgender while in rehearsals for her transgender leading role in the critically acclaimed "Charm" (MCC Theater).

Additionally, in 2020, she spoke candidly about transgender representation in the media, in the “enlightening and heartfelt” (- LA Times) Netflix documentary “Disclosure: Trans Lives on Screen” (Dir. Sam Feder).

A bona fide heroine of today’s LGBTQ+ generation, Sandra’s long awaited self-penned, one-woman show, “The Guide to Being Fabulous”, a jazz musical that tells the real story of Sandra Caldwell’s unparalleled life, was presented, in 2023, by Soulpepper Theatre in Toronto.

From a young runaway, panhandling on the streets of DC, to the Moulin Rouge in Paris, to her role as Mama Morton in “Chicago” at the Stratford Festival (“4-Stars!” – Toronto Star), she has done it all and endured it all, without losing sight of her comedic timing, her turn of phrase, or her compassion.

Yes, an entertainer in every sense of the word; ladies and gentlemen, we give you… Miss Sandra Caldwell

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And now, I guess I’ll scoot!

Have a wonder-filled Wednesday, wherever you are in the world!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

**********

I leave you with this!

Late-night listening music!

Yes, after my long day of caregiving, I practically went straight to bed and just hung out there, watching the rain outside the windows as the sun went down. I did a little French. But mostly I just laid there.

And then I listened to this, in the dark, over and over and over…

From Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, “Sins of My Youth”, from the album Hypnotic Eye, 2014.

So beautiful. Enjoy, gang.

“Sins Of My Youth”

You will find no wicked way in me
Look me over, you will see
You will find no weary change
I’m worn and wounded,
but still the same

Whoa……
Let me tell you the truth
I love you more
Than the sins of my youth

When the past gets up in your face
Memories slide out of place
All those things that were hidden away
Ain’t so bad in the light of day

Whoa……
Let me tell you the truth
I love you more
Than the sins of my youth

You say you love me
wish you liked me more
I’m no angel that’s for sure
Said you forgave me,
each time I was caught
But you still paint me as somethin’ I’m not

Whoa……
Let me tell you the truth
I love you more
Than the sins of my youth

I love you more
Than the sins of my youth

c – 2014 Tom Petty

Well, here’s hoping today is splendid

September 30, 2025 marilyn jaye lewis Leave a comment

Although it didn’t get off to its most auspicious start. But we’ll see.

For some reason, I am so tired this morning. And after breakfast, I went back to bed with my cup of coffee, as I always do, but this time, instead of meditating, I fell back to sleep for over an hour.

Ack!

But here I am at my desk now and on we go.

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So, yesterday was really frustrating. Even though I took the walk, did the yoga, studied the Protestant Reformation lecture, studied French.

I also sat at my desk for about 5 hours and NOTHING came. NOTHING.

I tweaked a tiny bit from Chapter 13, but nothing new for Chapter 14 hit the page. Even though I have a page of notes on things that need to be in Chapter 14. Nothing came.

I finally gave up, closed down the laptop. Did the yoga. Studied the lecture. Made dinner. Then got in the shower...

And suddenly — in the shower, water of course spraying all over me — suddenly, Chapter 14 began regaling itself to me. With many details, including conversations between characters. It couldn’t have been more different from the page of notes I’d already been staring at for 5 hours…

Wow.

So of course, I had to hurry up, dash out of the shower — basically dripping wet and wrapped in a towel — go to my desk and scribble down the notes as quickly as I could before they went off to the ether.

Me, yesterday —

OOPS! No, I meant — ME, yesterday —

So, this is a GOOD thing! And I’m hoping that these new notes make it to the page today.

We shall soon see, gang. When I read over the notes this morning, I was really happy with the direction they were going in.

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Before I forget — whoever updated my Wikipedia page — Wow, thank you!

I hadn’t actually looked at it in years, and yesterday I saw that some novels had been added. Thank you!

***********

Okay.

Here’s this from yesterday!

I glanced over and saw Bobby McGee asleep under the printer stand next to me! Too effing cute!!

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Okay.

Here’s this!

It’s back from Sept. 23rd, when Nick Cave got the new Honorary Doctorate, but I just saw it yesterday. I think it’s the only photo I’ve seen from that day where he was actually smiling!

And dark & early this morning…

Nick Cave sent out a new Red Hand File. It was kind of intense. I was actually kind of amazed that he was willing to answer that specific question — about where he stands on things, currently. Because it seems like then everybody goes after him for what he says. But answer it, he did!

He says, in part (and this is decidedly only in part):

“…I do not believe that silence is violence, complicity, or a lack of courage, but rather that silence is often the preferred option when one does not know what they are talking about, or is doubtful, or conflicted – which, for me, is most of the time. I am mainly at ease with not knowing and find this a spiritually and creatively dynamic position. I believe that there are times when it is almost a sacred duty to shut the fuck up….”

You can read it in full HERE.

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Meanwhile…

I’m kind of keeping my one stray eye on the talk going on right now in Virginia with Hegseth, Trump and military leaders.

It’s intense.

Not a direct quote from Hegseth but close: “No more dudes in dresses… no more gender delusions. We are done with that shit.”

Needless to say, that only piles on the stress regarding certain projects currently going on in my life (for 11 years). (i.e., “The Guide to Being Fabulous”). But on we go.

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Okay, I guess I better close this and get to work on The Curse of Our Profound Disorder.

I hope you have a terrific Tuesday, wherever you are in the world!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

**********

I leave you with this!

Late night listening music!!

(I really love my new boombox! I was playing Disc 1 of this 4-CD collection last night, after dark, in my bed. Windows open. Crickets. Fall breeze. So cool.)

One of my TOP 5 all-time favorite Tom Petty songs!

“Here Comes My Girl,” 1979. From Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers’ The LIVE Anthology, 2009. Enjoy, gang.

“Here Comes My Girl”

You know sometimes, I don’t know why
But this old town just seems so hopeless
I ain’t really sure, but it seems I remember the good times
Were just a little bit more in focus

But when she puts her arms around me
I can somehow rise above it
Yeah, man, when I got that little girl standing right by my side
You know, I can tell the whole wide world “Shove it!” Hey!

Hey, here comes my girl, here comes my girl
Yeah, she looks so right, she is all I need tonight

Every now and then, I get down to the end of a day
I have to stop, ask myself why I’ve done it
It just seems so useless to have to work so hard
And nothin’ ever really seem to come from it

And then she looks me in the eye, says, “We’re gonna last forever”
And man, you know I can’t begin to doubt it
No, ’cause it just feels so good and so free and so right
I know we ain’t never gonna change our minds about it

Hey, here comes my girl, here comes my girl
Yeah, she looks so right, she is all I need tonight

Watch her walk

Yeah, every time it seems like there ain’t nothin’ left no more
I find myself havin’ to reach out and grab hold of somethin’
Yeah, I just catch myself wonderin’, waitin’, worryin’
About some silly little things that don’t add up to nothin’

And then she looks me in the eye, says, “We’re gonna last forever,”
And man, you know I can’t begin to doubt it
No, ’cause it just feels so good and so free and so right
I know we ain’t never gonna change our minds about it

Hey, here comes my girl, here comes my girl
Yeah, she looks so right, she is all I need tonight

That’s right
That’s right!

c- 1979 Tom Petty, Mike Campbell

All righty! Happy Wednesday!

September 17, 2025 marilyn jaye lewis Leave a comment

Wow, yesterday was so amazing around here.

But first, here’s this:

A friend over in Newark sent me this shot she took of the candlelight vigil in the Square last night. It looks like it was a complete success!

*************

And before I forget–

Phil is supposed to be going live tonight, starting at 10PM eastern time. Be sure to check here later to confirm.

**************

Nick Cave was back with his Red Hand Files yesterday! And what a great one it was, too. Brief, but he explained everything he’s been up to during his break from the Files, and he said the Red Hand Files is now officially 7 years old (!!) — and also, he answered a question about love & freedom, saying in part:

“I thought on your question, Mies, ‘Did love mean freedom to me?’ I reflected on the things that matter most to me on this earth – my family, friends, those within my sphere of influence, my music, my writing, my spiritual life, and the health of the world in general, all these elements that, together, constitute a life lived lovingly. Mies, these things seem far from freedom. Instead, they are forms of containment that place demands upon us, sometimes greatly so. The pursuit of love involves feelings of duty and responsibility, as well as sacrifice, hard work, resilience, patience, forgiveness, and understanding. These are the structural bonds within which supreme love can flourish…“

You can read it in full HERE.

************

Tomorrow, I ostensibly have another day off.

However.

Since being put on Medicare when I turned 65, I now have to have “a doctor.” And since next Thursday, a nurse from the insurance company is coming to my house to give me my “annual check-up” (insurance-speak for “we might not want to insure you if you don’t let us come over”), I have to have the doctor in place by then.

I am not a fan of traditional medicine, as all of you probably know by now. And I have not been to a doctor in 24 years. But back when I was on Welfare — during the fake lockdowns — they put me on Medicaid and assigned me a doctor “near me”. (30 miles away.)

When I was finally able to get off Welfare, I looked into the doctor they had assigned me and I actually liked his credentials! He has a degree from the University of Pikeville, in Kentucky (!!), where most of my ancestors are from. And more importantly — the University of Pikeville teaches Osteopathic Medicine (and is connected to a Presbyterian Church). (FYI: “Osteopathic medicine is a distinct branch of healthcare that emphasizes the body’s inherent ability to heal itself. “)

So I made a note of the doctor’s name and phone number, etc., and decided that if I was ever forced to have a doctor, he would be it.

And now that I’m forced to have a doctor, when insurance/medical-type people ask me who my doctor is, I always say him but I haven’t actually ever met him.

But tomorrow afternoon, I will be meeting him. Officially. And he will become “my doctor.” So that everything can go smoothly when the insurance-nurse comes next week. And then they can go back to leaving me alone for another year.

(If you know me AT ALL, you know that I’m just super thrilled about all of this — having to give ANY of my free time to doctors and insurance companies. However, on we go.)

*********

On a related note…

If you know me at all, then you also know that I am 100% totally into natural healing. And I always have been, even though for the first 40 years of my life, I also went through the motions of “going to doctors”. Then I basically gave up and said, I need a different path…

In my current novel-in-progress, The Curse of Our Profound Disorder, there is a character based in certain key ways on a Lakota Sioux Medicine Man, Jack Red Eagle, that I knew briefly back in the mid-1980s.

At that time, he had left the Reservation in Oklahoma and was living in a cabin in the woods outside of Nacogdoches, TX. And he was a practicing Medicine Man. He was in his early 60s and looking for someone to train to take over his practice. He wanted to retire. He thought I had what it took to be a Medicine Woman.

We corresponded briefly, I went to Texas, it turned out I was really good at it, and it freaked me the fuck out because I was only 24 years old… (plus I was a singer-songwriter in NYC. I couldn’t see myself moving to a cabin in the woods in East Texas to heal people when I hadn’t even learned yet how to heal myself).

Anyway. So I have a character in my novel, created around Jack Red Eagle. And I created that character 26 years ago, when I first started writing (almost all of) this novel.

As I’ve been revising the novel, and moving forward with it, I had toyed with the idea of changing the character’s name to Jake instead of Jack — but I kept coming back to the very strong feeling that the character’s name needed to be Jack (my character is Jack Kicking Eagle, and he’s in his 30s). And as I first read over the novel, after not having read it in 26 years, I was sort of overwhelmed by how spiritual the character was.

Anyway. I have to focus now on the ending of the novel. And so I do a lot of sitting and staring. And yesterday, I kept getting the feeling that I should dig out those old letters from Jack Red Eagle and read over them. I hadn’t read them in 40 years.

So I finally went and dug them out of storage. And WOW. They blew me away. Not just the unbelievable similarities between what the real Jack believed and what my character believes (like, verbatim, after not having read those letters in 40 years), I was also overwhelmed by what a high opinion Jack Red Eagle had had in my mental/spiritual abilities to heal, way back then.

In fact, he had told me that he was certain I had Native American blood in me (because of certain things I was just sort of eerily familiar with), and this was a few years before I met my birth father and discovered I was indeed descended, in part, from the Black Foot Indian Nation in Montana.

I googled Jack Red Eagle yesterday, and found out he had died back in 1992. And he is buried here, in a very, very old cemetery in Nacogdoches:

And then, of course, through all of this, I kept feeling like he was communicating with me (in spirit) and once I found out he was actually dead, then I knew he was.

And then I “found” a photo of him that I didn’t know I had.

And then I found a frame that it fit into and so I framed it and put it on my bedroom wall! (It’s over by my ministerial ordination certifications.)

Anyway. Wow. Suddenly, he was back in my life and I got the profound feeling that it was HIS essence that had been telling me that the character in the novel had to stay as Jack and not be changed to Jake.

And once I saw — after reading over the original letters yesterday — that my character already had all of the real Jack’s beliefs, etc., I was kind of overjoyed about all of it.

Anyway. Long story short:

Jack Red Eagle, back in my life after 40 years!

************

Okay, I gotta scoot!!!

I gotta head to town and see my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man. And he has family in town today, “winterizing” the house — and this is making my Japanese man very unhappy. He feels like they just want him to die so they can sell the house…

I’m guessing it will be an emotionally tricky day. I’m hoping to just whisk him off to Peony Bistro, and get sashimi and sake. We’ll see how that goes.

Meanwhile. Have a wonder-filled Wednesday, wherever you are in the world!!

Thanks for visting.

I love you guys. See ya!

**********

Breakfast-listening music!!

Yes, you guessed it!! Too fucking FUN!! (I have it on a bootleg CD, with better sound quality).

Bob Dylan’s classic, Everybody Must Get Stoned, by Tom Petty live NYC! Enjoy, gang.

A new day begins in the Hinterlands!

August 21, 2025 marilyn jaye lewis Leave a comment

It’s cloudy again today, but I am totally digging the 65 degrees Fahrenheit! Everything is always easier when there’s a cool breeze.

I picked up another shift today with that really nice woman who lives out in Granville — who lives in that stunning home, surrounded by that incredible landscaping. (That house where I needed a map to find the bathroom last time I was there!) (Oh, and it actually turned out that I know the owners of the house — the woman’s daughter and son-in-law. Truly nice people. They take such good care of her.)

They live in the hills behind the Bryn du Mansion. If you’re ever in Granville, the mansion is easy to spot from the road…

It’s a long shift, but I don’t have to leave for a few more hours so I’ll actually have time to work on the novel today, too.

Yesterday was nice because it sort of began the “Happy 95th Birthday” wishes for my favorite nearly-95-year-old Japanese man. He got a beautiful birthday card in the mail from a son & daughter-in-law in South Carolina; one of his daughter’s called from Seattle; another son & daughter-in-law from Florida will be in town beginning today and will be stopping in to see him later; and then a nephew he hasn’t seen in years is coming to town from NY on Monday.

It made me feel really good to see him so happy. The son & daughter-in-law from Florida are taking him out to dinner on Saturday, so I decided that tomorrow, he and I will go out to lunch to celebrate — sashimi & sake — instead of on Saturday.

He doesn’t really remember that it’s his birthday, but as each little thing pops up, it makes him really happy. He loves hearing from people. Except for when a caregiver is there with him, he is completely alone in the house, as well as in the entire State of Ohio…

And this is cool!

This is an example of the wooden toy his father used to make — & sell — when he had a stall on the Boardwalk in Ocean City, NJ, back in the early 1930s! A black & white bulldog. He made them by hand. We’re not positive, but this could be one of the actual ones his father made. (We found it online — listed as “Folk Art from the 1930s.”)

************

This is also a cool thing! I ordered one today.

From Ross K. Nichols:

“The Ten Words – Shapira Fragments Poster

“This elegant poster presents The Ten Words as they are preserved in the mysterious Shapira Fragments. Long dismissed, but in the post-Qumran era increasingly regarded by many as ancient and authentic…”

It comes in 3 sizes, plus shipping. You can read about it and order it HERE.

(FYI — The “Ten Words” are also known as the Ten Commandments, but the Shapira Fragments are considered the earliest known form of Moses’ words.)

**************

On a similar note — well, not really, however–

The other day, I began yet another new online course and I am just loving it:

“The History of Christianity in the Reformation Era”.

It focuses on the upheavals of Christianity in Europe in the late 15th to mid 16th Centuries. 36 lectures total, really in depth stuff. From Protestantism, to Radical Protestantism, to Anabaptism, and the transformation of Roman Catholicism.

(It’s on a phone app I use so there isn’t a link to it that I can post here.)

**************

Okay. Not on a similar note…

Phil is supposed to do another livestream tonight at 9PM eastern time, check here later to confirm.

****************

Nick Cave sent out another Red Hand File this morning, wherein he announced, a week early, that he and the Bad Seeds will be doing a Wild God tour of Australia and New Zealand in January!!

He also revealed that he is taking a brief vacation from the Red Hand Files, so I will attempt to not go through any sort of post-partem depression. We shall see how that goes!!

Meanwhile you can read today’s Red Hand File here.

And from last night in Bulgaria!! (And FYI — you can still get tickets here for the show in Macedonia tomorrow!! That is the final show of the tour that has tickets available.)

And in the event we DO get any sort of post-partem depression, here’s this:

Nick Cave, Berlin 1986 — and, appropriately, quite blue:

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And before I toddle off to get to work on The Curse of Our Profound Disorder!!

I rediscovered this gem on Amazon Prime:

My god, I used to love this show!! But I cannot believe it is over 30 years ago, already!! WTF??!! I must say it again: Where did the fucking time go??!!

This is from back in the days when I lived in NYC, on the Upper West Side with Wayne. And my best friend on Earth was still alive — Paul Martin, who died in 1999. We both used to just love this show. And watching these re-runs now, I can easily recall WHY. It is so fucking funny. (I watch it in bed now, after various phone calls, right before going to sleep — and I feel like Paul is right there with me.)

************

And that is it for today!! Time for more coffee and some writing, re-writing, and RE-re-writing!

Enjoy your Thursday, wherever you are in the world!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

**********

I leave you with this!

Yes, still on a Monkees kick around here! This one is usually going over and over in my head when I am waking up at 4AM.

It was one of those pop gems written by Carole King and Gerry Goffin. (Some day, I will regale you with the Carole King story from my wee bonny girlhood!! It includes the first bar mitzvah I attended when I was 11, the first boy I ever slow danced with, and a phone call from Carole King herself!!)

Okay!!

“Take A Giant Step”, 1966. The Monkees. Enjoy, gang.

“Take A Giant Step”

Though you’ve played at love and lost
And sorrow’s turned your heart to frost
I will melt your heart again.
Remember the feeling as a child
When you woke up and morning smiled
It’s time you felt like you did then.
There’s just no percentage in remembering the past
It’s time you learned to live again at last.

Come with me, leave yesterday behind
And take a giant step outside your mind.

You stare at me in disbelief
You say for you there’s no relieve
But I swear I’ll prove you wrong.
Don’t stay in your lonely room
Just staring back in silent gloom.
That’s not where you belong
Come with me I’ll take you where the taste of life is green
And everyday holds wonders to be seen.

Come with me, leave yesterday behind
And take a giant step outside your mind.

c – 1966- Gerry Goffin, Carole King

A 100% Complete Day off!!

August 19, 2025 marilyn jaye lewis Leave a comment

That’s right.

Even though, technically, I had yesterday off, too, I had to head to town first thing, in order to get Bobby McGee and Freddie McFee their initial exams and blood tests (they each passed with flying colors!) in order to get their surgeries scheduled for next week.

They had some anxiety during their first road trip, but overall, it went pretty smoothly and I really liked the new vet a lot. (And yes it’s costing me, literally, ten times as much as the Animal Shelter would have charged, but at least I could, you know, get them an appointment…)

Okay!

I then spent almost all of yesterday, hanging out on my bed, just sort of drifting in and out of sleep, because I was so tired. But I did force myself to do yoga. And I got a chance to catch up over the phone with Valerie in Brooklyn.

And then 2 hours on the phone last evening with Dennis!

And then after he and I hung up, and I was getting ready to go to sleep yet again–

PING! A little text from my Q-following girlfriend in town: “Phil’s starting.”

Oh, shit. I’d forgotten!!

So I tried to tune in to Phil but fell asleep after 45 mins and had to listen to the rest this morning.

HOWEVER!

It was a really good one! If you missed it and you’ve got 2 hrs and 45 mins free today, you should listen!

He gives a fantastic update on the tariffs, the Federal Reserve, the upcoming new currency, precious metals, etc. He’s working from a new script about Obama, though, so that’s interesting. And then he took some questions from the Pham on the Phapp!

(Remember, if you click the link below and watch directly on rumble, you have more control over the ads.)

Trump, Tariffs, and Treason – August 18th, 2025 (2hrs 45 mins):

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This was a really great new one from James Tabor. Essentially comparing the Hebrew Bible (Old Testament) with the Christian New Testament (Hellenistic/Greek), and why/how they are so different.

A Most Troubled Coupling: The Hebrew Bible (OT) and the New Testament (15 mins):

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And another happy update!

Yet another credit card wrote to me yesterday:

THEM: “We’ve increased your credit line!”

ME: “Fucking A!!”

So that was nice. (I’m sort of spotting a trend here.)

*************

So, today I have the whole day off. Meaning, I am not driving to town for any reason, even though I do need a few groceries. I’m just staying put. Doing a load of laundry, probably a little more vacuuming, and, of course, yoga…(and 723 more hours chatting with Dennis later)…

But other than that!!

I’ve got the day free & clear to sit at my desk and WORK ON MY NOVEL!

Although, Val and I discussed the very real possibility yesterday that my depression, tiredness, inability to process time flying as well as my dad’s death, has got a lot to do with me not making any progress yet on the memoir (or even on “Novitiate ’66” frankly). (A 4-page excerpt from “Novitiate ’66” on my substack page — from nearly 2 years ago!! Jesus.) (For adults only, please.)

Remember those not-so-long ago days, gang, when I could work on several different projects at once, every day??!! And actually get things done??

It’s the main reason why I have such a problem with the caregiving jobs. It’s (usually) not that many hours per week, but the hours are spread out all over the place, so I rarely get a chunk of time to just sit and write!!

However, as we get ever closer to Fall, it gets easier to deal with, because, if you recall, things will change for me in a huge way then.

*************

Okay!

Tonight, Nick Cave and Colin Greenwood take the stage in Bulgaria, for the first of 2 sold out shows!! In a venue called the Ancient Theater — I’m eager to see what that looks like!

And yesterday morning, Nick Cave sent out a new Red Hand File, wherein he discussed who he goes to, generally, for wisdom and advice (HINT: dead people). And also something about “women being annoying” because, I don’t know — we’re always right?? Not sure.

Anyway, he said, in part:

“…Now that I am older, many of these people – my father figures, my mother figures – are no longer with us (Bob Dylan, praise be, remains!), so I tend to look to the assembled dead, those who have withstood the test of time, for direction. I regard the accumulated wisdom of the ages with no small amount of reverence. The answer is invariably there….”

You can read it in full HERE, if you so choose!

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And I’m thinking that’s it for now! Gonna get this fantastic and beautiful day underway here!

Have a terrific Tuesday, wherever you are in the world!!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

****************

I leave you with this!

Breakfast-listening music these days! (Although not today, because I was listening to Phil!)

Curiously enough, also from 1966 (a la “Novitiate”). A huge hit for The Monkees when they were brand new. (And I still get chills listening to this song because it was about a guy getting drafted and heading to Vietnam.)

“Last Train to Clarksville,” 1966. From their debut album, The Monkees. Enjoy, gang.

“Last Train To Clarksville”

Take the last train to Clarksville
And I’ll meet you at the station
You can be here by four-thirty
‘Cause I made your reservation
Don’t be slow, oh, no, no, no!
Oh, no, no, no!

‘Cause I’m leavin’ in the morning
And I must see you again
We’ll have one more night together
‘Til the morning brings my train
And I must go, oh, no, no, no!
Oh, no, no, no!
And I don’t know if I’m ever coming home

Take the last train to Clarksville
I’ll be waiting at the station
We’ll have time for coffee-flavored kisses
And a bit of conversation
Oh… Oh, no, no, no!
Oh, no, no, no!

Take the last train to Clarksville
Now I must hang up the phone
I can’t hear you in this noisy
Railroad station all alone
I’m feelin’ low. Oh, no, no, no!
Oh, no, no, no!
And I don’t know if I’m ever coming home

Take the last train to Clarksville
And I’ll meet you at the station
You can be here by four-thirty
‘Cause I made your reservation
Don’t be slow, oh, no, no, no!
Oh, no, no, no!
And I don’t know if I’m ever coming home

Take the last train to Clarksville
Take the last train to Clarksville
Take the last train to Clarksville
Take the last train to Clarksville
Take the last train to Clarksville…

c – 1966 – Bobby Hart, Tommy Boyce

Getting A Late Start Here!

August 11, 2025 marilyn jaye lewis Leave a comment

I am a little late posting to the blog this morning, so this will be a brief post (I think!).

The kittens had me up late — as soon as I got off my 2 and a 1/2 hour phone call with Dennis, they got an attack of the zoomies!!

And since the bedroom was closed up because the AC was on, it was sort of like the zoomies from Hell! They were zooming all over the place, including constantly pouncing on ME.

I finally had to put all of them out into the hall and sleep totally ALONE. Yay.

HOWEVER!!

I’m glad I got to the blog late because Nick Cave just now sent out a Red Hand File and it’s one of those ones that I just LOVE!! Wherein he answers 50 questions with basically “yes, no, I don’t know, go fuck yourself”!!

My favorite:

“Do you really want to tell us about a girl, still?”

“Yes”

There are a lot of good ones, though (let’s say 50!!). You can read them HERE.

And I LOVE this photo from today’s FILE (Nick and Roland):

And speaking of wanting (or not wanting) to tell us about a girl… Here’s this (again) — “From Her To Eternity” in Wim Wenders’ “Wings of Desire”:

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Okay!

After I posted to the blog yesterday, I realized it was Marlon Richards’ birthday!! Again! (Keith Richards’ son.)

He has one every year, like clockwork, and the years are fucking FLYING, gang!! He used to be about 3, and now he’s FIFTY-FOUR!!!

Here’s the photo his wife posted to Instagram yesterday:

And here are the photos Keith posted yesterday:

And here’s one of my personal favorites of Keith and Marlon from my wee bonny girlhood!

And here’s this!

From Instagram yesterday! Wherein Keith was a lot younger than Marlon is NOW!

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Okay!!

Is this what il donaldo trumpo was posting about yesterday?? Or at least PART of what he was posting about?? (“We’re gonna need more popcorn this week”?) (FYI — typos matter; it’s a Q thing)

DEPLOYING THE NATIONAL GUARD IN OUT NATION’S CAPITAL!!!😎🇺🇸⚡️⚡️⚡️ —TIME TO DRAIN THE SWAMP!!!

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Okay, yesterday was intense. I can’t say why because I can’t talk about the private medical stuff of my clients. But it was intense.

However, we DID watch some great TV, including the movie “Superman 2”. (From June 1981)

Not that it was a great movie, really, but I instantly remembered seeing that movie in a theater in Times Square, not too far from our apartment in the Camelot Building (on W.45th Street and 8th Ave), when I was newly married to Chong Foun Kee.

I can’t remember if he went to that movie with me, or if I was with one of my friends. But yesterday, I found it so interesting that I remembered so vividly being in the theater, and that it was in Times Square, even while I remembered next to nothing about the actual movie.

God, I loved living in NYC back then.

This song still brings tears to my eyes, even though it was about something entirely different — it still captures my world back then, when we lived in the Camelot Building — even including all the drugs, booze, insane sex, all the music clubs, all the wonderfully gifted people I knew back then, and all of us were in our 20s:

"CAMELOT"

A law was made a distant moon ago here:
July and August cannot be too hot.
And there's a legal limit to the snow here
In Camelot.
The winter is forbidden till December
And exits March the second on the dot.
By order, summer lingers through September
In Camelot.

Camelot! Camelot!
I know it sounds a bit bizarre,
But in Camelot, Camelot
That's how conditions are.
The rain may never fall till after sundown.
By eight, the morning fog must disappear.
In short, there's simply not
A more congenial spot
For happily-ever-aftering than here
In Camelot.

Camelot! Camelot!
I know it gives a person pause,
But in Camelot, Camelot
Those are the legal laws.
The snow may never slush upon the hillside.
By nine p.m. the moonlight must appear.
In short, there's simply not
A more congenial spot
For happily-ever-aftering than here
In Camelot.

*****************

Okay, I guess I better scoot or I’m gonna be late.

I have to work today because my favorite nearly-95-year-old Japanese client’s private nurse needed the day off.

Enjoy your Monday, wherever you are in the world!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys! See ya!

I Know, I Know!!

July 29, 2025 marilyn jaye lewis Leave a comment

I’m late again!

This time, it wasn’t because I went back to sleep after breakfast –tempting as the idea was.

However.

MANY kittens and a couple of cats saw to it that “going back to sleep” was merely a pipe dream… (if I can sort of delightfully mix metaphors there and include opium in the heady mix!) (pipe dream — smoking opium, etc.)

Mainly, though, I took a walk over to the post office to collect a registered letter that contained belated birthday wishes AND cash money!!! Yay!!! “Happy Birthday”, indeed!

But I am here now!

And I have no more contractors coming. I am waiting on 2 remaining price quotes to be emailed to me, then I can mail the whole application off to my local USDA RD office and hope that they haven’t already run out of money for the season. We shall see, gang!!

I’m not asking for much, but the few things I do want fixed around here would really upgrade the safety of this beautiful old house.

**************

All right. Well.

YES! On the eHarmony front —

We talked for THREE hours last night. And I’m guessing we could have talked on and on, if it weren’t for the fact that I now, more than ever, need my beauty sleep!!

Because we ARE, indeed, meeting for lunch on Thursday. And I’d like to look a little bit better than in this memorable photo!

(Me, in my hotel room bed in NYC, 3 weeks ago, at 5:03 AM) (And ditching the nightgown and wearing a sundress instead will likely be a big help!) (Oh! I might comb my hair, too!)

And in case you’re wondering where we’re meeting for lunch…

YES! Why wouldn’t we meet here? I always wanna go here!

The super glamorous Tequilaville!!

Even though I like the food at Tequilaville — only because it’s better than any other Mexican restaurant I’ve tried around here (which qualifies as “damning with faint praise”) — it turns out that my new friend lived in Texas for 3 years… so. You know. No comparison to Texas Mexican food. But, well, we’re a long way from Texas. We gotta make do with what we have out here in the Hinterlands.

(I know, I know. That’s kinda like “writing about him” which I’m not supposed to do…)

**********

Okay.

New topic!

A brief excerpt from a recent interview with James Tabor.

And this is the very topic (or quest, as it were) that caused me to decide to continue studying Jesus the man, rather than pursuing a congregation of my own after I graduated from Divinity School and became an ordained minister.

How Historical Methods Get us Closer to the Real Jesus (8 mins):

****************

I’m making some little strides here with The Curse of Our Profound Disorder, but I’m at a point where a few very important storylines come to a resolution (and the novel itself comes to a close), so it takes an unbelievable amount of concentration.

Thank God, yet again, for that AC, gang. At least I can think. Slow as the process currently is. (I hope I don’t get to the final paragraph and then discover that I need another 26 years to properly finish it….)

***************

All righty.

Nick Cave sent out a Red Hand File this morning.

Apparently it is FORTY YEARS (!!) since the amazing masterpiece, “Tupelo”, was released by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds.

How I love that song, gang. I will never forget the first time I heard it, in my tiny little hellhole apartment on E. 12th Street.

In fact, I will never forget riding the PATH train from Hoboken NJ (where I had bought the album The First Born Is Dead in a small record shop) back into Manhattan, and reading the lyrics to “Tupelo” that were printed on the back of the album cover. The lyrics blew me away. I couldn’t wait to get home and play the record.

I loved the whole record (it was my first exposure to Nick Cave), but I particularly loved that song “Tupelo”. I was astounded by it. And, as I’ve posted here before, every single person who came into that apartment after that, was forced to listen to “Tupelo” on the record player in my tiny, godforsaken, hellhole bedroom!!

ME: “Have you heard this song yet??”

EVERYONE ELSE IN MY APARTMENT: “No.”

ME: “Listen to it!! It’s incredible!! It’s about Elvis!”

Well, in honor of the 40th anniversary of this song, a filmmaker friend of Nick Cave’s created a video using Artificial Intelligence, which, as you know, I am not a huge fan of. (That’s a nice way of saying “I despise AI and whoever invented it should be publicly executed in a 1984 doomsday sort of way…”)

Anyway. You can of course watch the video yourself and come to your own conclusions, as I include it here! But I did not like it at all. I found it incredibly creepy and just sort of a violation of so many images from Elvis’s career that, at this point, are practically sacred to me.

I think I’d rather be forced to watch the eye scene in Luis Buñuel’s “Un Chien Andalou” than watch that “Tupelo” video ever again.

But, alas, that is only my over-reactionary opinion and I’m guessing not many people share it.

So, here it is, for your viewing pleasure:

And here is what I much prefer — the audio, as I heard it 40 years ago:

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And on that lofty note!!

I suppose I better get started around here.

Have a terrific Tuesday wherever you are in the world!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys! See ya!

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I leave you with this gem!!

Merle Haggard and Marty Robbins do a great duet of the all-out C&W classic by George Jones, “She Thinks I Still Care”. (1970) Enjoy, gang!!

She thinks I still care

Just because I asked a friend about her
Just because I spoke her name somewhere
Just because I rang her number by mistake today
She thinks I still care

Just because I haunt the same old places
Where the memory of her lingers everywhere
Just because I'm not the happy guy I used to be
She thinks I still care

But if she's happy thinking I still need her
Then let that silly notion bring her cheer
But how could she ever be so foolish
Oh were would she get such an idea

Just because I asked a friend about her
Just because I spoke her name somewhere
Just because I saw her then went all to pieces
She thinks I still care
She thinks I still care

 c- 1962 Dickey Lee / Steve Duffy

A Perfect Morning, All Things Considered

July 14, 2025 marilyn jaye lewis Leave a comment

I slept TOTALLY alone in the guest room last night, the windows open, the door closed, a couple of fans going.

Complete peace.

No cats or kittens disturbing me. At all.

And I slept for 8 beautiful hours.

AND…

This morning — a really gentle, wonderful RAIN. For several hours, already. It’s 72 degrees Fahrenheit right now, and only expected to reach 82 today. Yay.

AND….

I have the next 2 days off (as of right now, anyway). So I get to sit at my desk and work on all the various nips & tucks we made to the play last week in NYC.

So it’s a perfect day.

Of course, losing Little Blackie so unexpectedly yesterday hangs over us, but oddly enough — I think she was here with her kittens this morning because they suddenly reached a turning point in their independence.

Even little Billie Jo! The kitten who’s missing her 2 back feet.

This morning, I went into the family room to set the food bowls down for my own cats — meaning the dwindling colony of rescued ferals who’ve been with me now for 13 years — and who did I spy in the family room???

YES.

ALL 4 of the kittens had finally come down the stairs and were leaping about, darting happily around the room.

I could not believe that even Billie Jo had made it down the stairs, all by herself. All 4 of them raced all over, exploring everything, and even had their own breakfasts downstairs in the family room, too.

The other cats were not thrilled with this development, but I am so glad this has happened. It means that, little by little, my room will be my own again and I will be able to do things like yoga, without having kittens all over me. Yay!!!

So this is a great day for all of us, and I can’t help but feel convinced that Little Blackie’s spirit was part of this sudden shift today.

*****************

Even though, yesterday, I was just a bag of frayed nerves and raw emotions, I still had to work my shift. But it went really well.

I was with the retired Minister and his wife again — I hadn’t been there in 2 weeks and it seemed like he has continued to make such great progress. He was alert, focused, and in such good spirits the whole evening.

With this particular client there’s nothing I really need to do except chat with him and provide companionship, because the wife does all the “caregiving” work. (It’s complicated medical stuff that I’m not legally allowed to do.)

So I sat there in their air-conditioned family room and chatted with them, and then watched the entire NASCAR Sonoma race. And then left.

And I got paid for that. Not only paid, but it was Sunday, so I also get paid the “Sunday” amount, which is higher than the weekday pay.

So I can’t really complain, even though, emotionally, witnessing the whole aging thing is still a lot for me to process. On top of feeling all that grief over Little Blackie, yesterday, that I couldn’t talk about.

It was still okay. But I am really, really rejoicing in this rainy Monday morning, day-off thing here today.

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I forgot to mention this, regarding my trip to NYC….

Remember those sundresses??? Wow, were they a big hit. So many compliments.

And just in general, I have to say that everyone — especially the men, regardless of age, ethnicity or religion — treated me so nice on that trip. I especially loved the men, holding doors open for me, saying hello, smiling.

This was everywhere I went. NO ONE AT ALL treated me like I was their grandmother!! Yay!! (Yes, I’m old enough to be a grandmother and yes, most of my friends from high school are grandmothers now, several times over, but I’M NOT ONE!!!!!)

Anyway.

So different from how things are around here in the Hinterlands. People are really friendly around here, but everyone basically regards me as “old”. So it was a really incredible change of pace.

I have to add that this dress, in particular, was probably the best thing I’ve purchased all year!! This dress, in real life, is just incredibly pretty. And it’s like wearing a flowing piece of air!

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On a more somber note–

Today marks ten years since Nick Cave’s son Arthur died. His Red Hand File today was devoted to his thoughts and feelings about that.

For some reason, it has not been posted on the web site yet, so I can’t link to it. But I can quote the email —

“These days, I am neither distrustful nor suspicious of the world, even though my heart breaks for it, and I am not despairing, depressed or embittered. Indeed, I see heartbreak as the most proportional response to the state of the world – to say I love you is to say my heart breaks for you, and this sentiment resonates within all things, bringing a clarity to both the world before us and the world beyond the veil. Sorrow becomes a way of life, part laughter, part tears, with very little space between. It is a way of conducting oneself in the world, of loving it, of worshipping it….”

And Wednesday, Nick Cave’s Solo Tour with Colin Greenwood on bass resumes — in Mantova, Italy. Tickets are still available for this show only. You can buy them here.

And here’s this! From Instagram.

From the Bad Seeds show in San Francisco , back in May.

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And I just wanted to give a quick “thank you” again to everyone who’s downloading my eBooks over at Smashwords, during that Summer Sale!!

I really appreciate it (Freak Parade seems to be outpacing the Muse Revisited Collection!)

Details are on my substack page, if you’re interested in the sale. All of my eBook titles with Smashwords are FREE to download for the month of July. ADULTS ONLY. Graphic erotic literature.

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Okay, gang. I’m going to get started around here.

Enjoy your Monday, wherever you are in the world! (It looks like the value of silver is already inching up this morning, so this could be the start of a wild summer. We shall see!!)

Thanks for visiting, gang.

I love you guys. See ya!!

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Me! And a New York City from long ago!! Enjoy, gang.

Try It Real Slow

Driving in the dead of night
Coasting through a traffic light
Aiming for a back road
Where we could park it for the night
Thinking we would make it sober and
Try it real slow.

There’s music on the radio
Screaming bunch of white boys
Churning out the Black soul
But turning it to white noise
Well, we could learn to make it sober by
Trying real slow.

CHORUS
Any disappointed stranger will tell you
Love is just a ball & chain
Oh but baby you’re the kind of man
That I like to talk to

You can play the wine & dine
Pick yourself a pretty wife
Gather all that you can hold
Then drag it round your whole life
Or you could learn to make it sober by
Trying real slow

REPEAT CHORUS

I turned it over, round and round
Chasing it the hard way
Until my dreams were just a white line
Sailing down the Interstate;
Well, love was gonna shake me sober
But I didn’t let it grow.

REPEAT CHORUS

Oh, but you and me will be all right
By letting every yesterday
Go fading with the taillights
Sailing down the highway
And we can learn to make it sober
By trying real slow.

Yeah, we can learn to make it sober
By trying real slow

© 1984 Marilyn Jaye Lewis
First of May Songs, BMI