Tag Archives: playwright

Happy Thanksgiving, Gang!

If you live State-side, I hope you have a great holiday!

Oddly enough, I woke up at my usual 4AM this morning, but WASN’T exhausted at all!! Funny how that works when I know I don’t have to get up and go to work…

However, I’m still not 100% sure I will get that Christmas tree up today. We shall see how it goes. It feels a little overwhelming right now, but my mood could change as the day goes on.

That terrible wind we had all day/night yesterday damaged part of my new gutter, so I’m super excited about that! I sure was so hoping I would have to find yet another handyman — this one who can go up on my roof and re-attach part of my new gutter… for, you know, a nominal fee.

Aarrrgh!

No! Not THAT kind of handyman…. Although, you know. Anyway!!

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Okay. Yesterday.

Jesus, gang. I will at least say, upfront, that the day ended very nicely once I got home from my shift.

But the minute I arrived at the home of my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man, I discovered that he hadn’t eaten in TWO DAYS!!

His private nurse was away on vacation. I had no clue she was leaving town or I would have done his grocery shopping on Saturday, when I was last there. (The nurse usually does all the grocery shopping, but I leave her a grocery list on Saturdays.)

There sat my grocery list on the counter. And there sat his fridge with almost nothing in it. Not even cream for his coffee.

I was super excited about the thought of getting him out of bed immediately and heading to the grocery store in the rain, the plummeting temperatures and the high winds — the day before fucking Thanksgiving! (When you can’t find a parking spot that’s anywhere near the store!)

Not exaggerating at all in any way!

He’d also had a caregiver from the Agency at his house on Monday & Tuesday, who did not know that you can’t prepare food for him and leave it in the fridge. It has to be on the table beside his chair in the living room where he can see it, otherwise he will forget to eat. And that’s what happened. For two fucking DAYS.

Her notes said that he was being really, really difficult on top of not eating. He hates when he has unfamiliar caregivers. And reading over her notes made me, of course, feel guilty about planning to retire. I realize the Agency will have me train someone before I leave for good, but still. I pictured him starving to death and dying in short order.

Anyway, I was so fucking upset from the minute my shift started. Mostly because the private nurse had not texted me that she was out of town. She’d only texted, asking me to pick up his Thanksgiving dinner.

So I got him out of bed and off we went. He was so disoriented and weak, which of course made me more upset. I stopped in at the Agency, which was on the way to the store, and I politely vented to the receptionist about the client not having eaten in 2 days!

I didn’t want anything in writing/typing on the Agency app, where the family in Seattle could read that their 95-year-old dad, who lives alone and has no short term memory left, hadn’t eaten in TWO FUCKING DAYS!! Meanwhile, the family pays the Agency a fucking fortune to make sure that their dad fucking EATS…

Jesus fucking Christ, I was so angry. But luckily, the receptionist at the Agency is just incredibly efficient and really nice, and she started emailing the right people, right away. So I felt a little bit better when I left there.

And I ended up taking him out for breakfast at the same place where I was picking up his pre-ordered Thanksgiving dinner. So that saved time. And the day wasn’t totally ruined.

And he collapsed in his recliner in the living room the moment we got back, and he slept there for the remainder of my shift until I woke him to say goodbye and have a happy Thanksgiving….

….wherein, as I was preparing to leave, a text came in from the Agency: Could I possibly work with him again on Thanksgiving because the scheduled caregiver had just called off sick…

ME: “FUCK! “

ME (also): “NO. I CAN’T.”

(But I said it a lot more politely than that.) And then I left post-it notes written with a big black sharpie all over his kitchen in hopes that the caregiver who gets sent in there today will have some sort of chance in hell of getting him to eat his Thanksgiving dinner…

AAarrrgggh,,,,

Then I got in my Honda and drove away…

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However, when I got home. I got texts all evening from friends, hither & yon — old and new — wishing me a Happy Thanksgiving (and other stuff). Which was so nice.

And then my birth mom called! Right at a moment when I was actually holding my phone! So she didn’t go straight to voicemail!

We had such a great chat.

I ended the evening just feeling great about everything–

(except maybe about work…).

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Okay!

Here’s this!

Back when the Boys Next Door really were Bad Seeds!!

Nick Cave and the Boys Next Door

And this, from Nick Cave Official

A reminder that their new “LIVE GOD” album will be out December 5th!

Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds announce their new live album Live God, a stunning testament to The Wild God Tour, which wowed audiences across the UK, Europe and North America in 2024 and ‘25, and which travels to Australia and New Zealand in 2026.The album will be released on 5 December 2025….”

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And I think that is it for now!

I’m gonna go have another cup of coffee and try to decide if I want to just relax today (i.e. — watch classic Yogi Bear cartoons??)

Or put up the Christmas stuff.

Or perhaps BOTH!!

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Have a great holiday and/or Thursday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guy. See ya!

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I leave you with this!!

As my CD player in the kitchen prepares for that most wonderful season to get underway!!

Andy Williams, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”. Enjoy, gang.

A Happy Pre-Holiday Hi!

I won’t say it, gang!

I’ll just let you guys presume from now on that I am so fucking TIRED!

Jesus. Those 10-hr Tuesdays kill me. Not so much the amount of hours, but the fact that I never stop moving the whole time I’m there.

Getting the meds sorted out 3 times. Cooking two meals, then cleaning up after that. Help with the showering (while I get just as wet from the handheld shower sprayer spraying everywhere), and then help with the getting dressed, and the Physical Therapy exercises. Then tracking it all, in writing, in the notebook. Then tracking it again, in typing, on the Agency’s phone app.

Then, yesterday, we went to the hair salon. (Male/female). And guess what? It was a Christian hair salon. I’ve actually never seen anything like it. It was really tiny and really cool. They had so much pretty stuff, including one of those fake fireplaces that are totally hypnotizing. And the people who work there, and the other customers, were so friendly.

The salon had a lot of Christian/Christmas stuff for sale. My favorite was a tee shirt that simply said “Forgiven” across the front of it. How cool would that be? To walk all over the world, with a shirt that tells everyone you’re forgiven? I really loved it.

Anyway. It was raining and cold yesterday, so I had to deal with getting the walkers, folded and unfolded, then in and out of the SUV, etc., in the rain. So that was fun, too.

However!

Just as we got home from the hair salon, out-of-town family members arrived who are visiting for the holiday, so the client said, “Have a great holiday, Marilyn! You can go ahead and go home now.”

Wow! That meant I was able to get to the grocery store before dark and get home a whole hour early.

But probably the best part was , as I was leaving, the client and the client’s family (who I’d met before) all hugged me goodbye and said, “We love you, Marilyn.”

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That’s still the hard part for me — knowing that I’m getting ready to retire and nobody knows yet.

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Today, it’s not so cold, but it is still raining. And more of those high winds that I absolutely LOVE…

I’m heading out soon to see my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man. We’re not going out for sashimi & sake today. But I do have to go out later and pick up his pre-ordered Thanksgiving dinner for tomorrow. He just stays in the car, though, when I run errands for him. So hopefully I can just dash in and dash out —

I don’t mind doing any of this stuff, but I am just so — well, you know!!

Yes, I need a vacation!!

And first thing this morning, as my eyes opened at 4AM, I thought about tomorrow, and how I have one day off to spend lugging out all the Christmas stuff. Put up that enormous tree and decorate the whole house–

–with 723 frisky cats, getting into everything!!

However.

Once it’s all done, it is so worth it, gang.

Christmas Eve 2023

And Monday afternoon, I’ll be with Wendy and Kara, at Snapshots in Granville, for an early Christmas celebration! I am so looking forward to that, and I am already getting into the Christmas spirit.

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Okay.

Here’s this!

A great shot of the Rolling Stones, in Chelsea, 1971:

And Keith, in color! From back when he was called “Keith Richard” — no ‘s’.

It’s weird to see him in color back then. So many of the photos of them from that era (the 1960s) were in black & white. I have seen photos of him in those pants so many times, and I had no idea what color they were…

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All right.

I suppose I better scoot and get a little more coffee and then get ready for this day!

Have a terrific Thanksgiving Eve, if you live Stateside, otherwise, have a wonder-filled Wednesday, wherever you are in the world!!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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I leave you with this!

Boy, am I really loving this Oldies FM radio station that I have the retro boombox in my bedroom tuned to.

This morning, as I sat up in bed (again), holding my nearly empty coffee cup, stared at the rainy streets outside the window and tried to convince myself to finally get the day underway, I switched on the radio and lo! & behold!

Fucking-A!! What a great song!! Suddenly, I was singing and getting up out of bed…

Enjoy, gang.

“Free Fallin'” from Tom Petty’s massively successful first solo album, Full Moon Fever, 1989.

“Free Fallin'”

She’s a good girl, loves her mama
Loves Jesus and America too
She’s a good girl, who’s crazy ’bout Elvis
Loves horses and her boyfriend too

And it’s a long day, livin’ in Reseda
There’s a freeway, runnin’ through the yard
And I’m a bad boy, ’cause I don’t even miss her
I’m a bad boy for breakin’ her heart

And I’m free, free fallin’
Yeah I’m free, free fallin’

All the vampires, walkin’ through the valley
Move west down Ventura Boulevard
And all the bad boys are standing in the shadows
And the good girls are home with broken hearts

And I’m free, I’m free fallin’
Yeah I’m free, free fallin’

Free fallin’, I’m-a free fallin’, I’m-a
Free fallin’, I’m-a free fallin’, I’m-a

I wanna glide down over Mulholland
I wanna write her name in the sky
I’m gonna free fall out into nothin’
Gonna leave this world for a while

Now I’m free, free fallin’
(Free fallin’, I’m-a free fallin’, I’m-a
Free fallin’, I’m-a free fallin’, I’m-a)
Yeah I’m free, free fallin’
(Free fallin’, I’m-a free fallin’, I’m-a
Free fallin’, I’m-a free fallin’, I’m-a)

(Free fallin’, I’m-a free fallin’, I’m-a)
Yeah I’m free, free fallin’
Oh!

(Free fallin’, I’m-a free fallin’, I’m-a)
Free fallin’
(Free fallin’, I’m-a free fallin’, I’m-a)
And I’m free, oh, free fallin’
(Free fallin’, I’m-a free fallin’, I’m-a
Free fallin’, I’m-a free fallin’, I’m-a
Free fallin’, I’m-a free fallin’, I’m-a)

c – 1989 Tom Petty, Jeff Lynne

Me, again!!

I know you’re probably really tired of hearing me tell you how tired I am, but I am so fucking tired today, gang. Jesus.

Now it’s like I can’t even handle 3 shifts in a row. And I can’t.

I can barely handle one shift in a row…

Because now that I’ve finally decided that I want to fully retire in January — well, now I want to retire today. And so every shift, that’s all I think about: I want to retire today.

Anyway. Onward.

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Okay!

I have today off!!

And the only thing I really need to do today is go to the Dollar Store and buy some cat food.

Other than that, I am going to stay home and just putter around. Vacuum, probably. The laundry is already half done. And that’s it, as far as chores. The rest of the day is wide open for whatever I want to do.

Write, probably.

Or, more succinctly: Figure out what I want to write. Probably.

I’m also trying to get myself psyched up for Thursday.

Thursday is of course Thanksgiving. I don’t have to work, but I’m not celebrating Thanksgiving since there’s no one nearby to celebrate it with. So I’ve decided to take the whole day and get all the Christmas stuff up.

Normally, I like doing that but last year the foster cats wreaked havoc on the Christmas tree. And this year, I now have kittens to add to the mix. They are almost 8 months old already but they are still frisky and curious as hell about everything new that pops onto their domain.

So I’m worried that they’re going to actually break stuff that I’m really fond of. But I don’t want to not decorate…

So we shall see.

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Other than that —

Here’s this!

I believe the “A Bunch of Stuff” exhibit has opened now in Tokyo — or, at least it is getting ready to open. I’m not sure which.

From Johnny Smoke’s Instagram page:

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And here’s this–

Jimmy Cliff has passed away, gang. He died today in Jamaica, at age 81.

From RollingStonesBrasil on Instagram — Keith, with Ronnie Wood and Jimmy Cliff:

And here’s this — Keith, Ronnie and Charlie Watts, in LA in 1978. Their version of Jimmy Cliff’s “The Harder They Come”.

And here’s this again. Probably my favorite Jimmy Cliff song! “Vietnam”. 1969.

RIP Jimmy.

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Here’s this!

It was in my phone stash. I found it yesterday while trying to find a photo of something else!!

Nick Cave, July 2022. Smiling!!

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And here’s this!

Also from Instagram. I thought it was so funny. I texted it to Wayne…

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And I think that is it!!

I’m gonna finish the laundry. Vacuum. Collapse — again. And then figure out what I’m gonna do today.

Enjoy your Monday, wherever you are in the world!!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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I leave you with this!

As I was trying to force myself to get back out of bed this morning and start the laundry, get another cup of coffee, get out of my nightgown and put on some actual clothes, etc. I switched on the oldies FM radio station on my retro boombox next to my bed, and one of my all-time favorite Tom Petty – Stevie Nicks songs was just starting!

I took it as an auspicious sign to get this day started, too.

“Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around”. 1981. Enjoy, gang.

“Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around”

Baby, you come knocking on my front door
Same old line you used to use before
I said yeah, well, what am I supposed to do
I didn’t know what I was getting into

So you’ve had a little trouble in town
Now you’re keeping some demons down
Stop draggin’ my
Stop draggin’ my
Stop draggin’ my heart around

It’s hard to think about what you’ve wanted
It’s hard to think about what you’ve lost
This doesn’t have to be the big get even
This doesn’t have to be anything at all

(I know you really want to tell me good-bye)
(I know you really want to be your own girl)

Baby, you could never look me in the eye
Yeah, you buckle with the weight of the words
Stop draggin’ my
Stop draggin’ my
Stop draggin’ my heart around

There’s people running ’round loose in the world
Ain’t got nothin’ better to do
Make a meal of some bright-eyed kid
You need someone looking after you

(I know you really want to tell me goodbye)
(I know you really want to be your own girl)

Baby, you could never look me in the eye
Yeah, you buckle with the weight of the words
Stop draggin’ my
Stop draggin’ my
Stop draggin’ my heart around

Stop draggin’ my heart around
Stop draggin’ my heart around
Stop draggin’ my heart around
Stop draggin’ my heart around

c-1981 Tom Petty, Mike Campbell

“She’s always taking such lovely drives…”

Well, strike 2, I guess.

In much the same way that I recently took a lovely drive to go to a mall and see a movie — and then turned around and came home…

I went to that new church this morning — and, wow, another really lovely drive along backroads. It is a really gorgeous fall morning here. But when I got to the (tiny) church, the parking lot was completely full, along with every single parking spot on the street for several blocks!

And it looked like it was going to be standing room only inside that tiny church.

So I turned around and came home.

I’m guessing it’s because it’s that “New Friends Celebration” service, and they are also honoring local first responders today, too. So I guess every one came from far & wide.

I was disappointed, but I tried to focus, once again, on how beautiful the drive was. And it was only 10 minutes, each way.

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Okay.

Here’s this!

Keith with a puppy! (From that long ago era when men wore scarves instead of ties around their necks. And it looks like that could be Charlie behind Keith, with the cigarette.)

And Keith with sunglasses — and a cigarette!

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And Cave Things sent out a reminder that the Black Friday sale is still going on! Until December 5th, 5PM GMT.

Up to 70% off!! On items including, but not limited to, GOD PENCILS!!

$7.00 + shipping, They’re not just for Sundays anymore!!

Nick Cave’s God Pencils

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Okay, well. I guess I’ll do some yoga now, since I now have plenty of time before my shift.

Have a great Sunday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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I leave you with this!! Again!

You know, I really was disappointed in turning around this morning and just going back home. And I was also disappointed because I could tell that it wasn’t going to be a church I was going to feel comfortable in.

This is the kind of church I feel comfortable in — my old church back in downtown Columbus, where I was baptized:

United Church of Christ, East Broad Street

I loved this church and the minister there was fantastic! But he has since retired and the church is an hour away from where I live now.

Anyway. I was disappointed this morning. But as soon as the GPS guy in my car stopped talking, THIS SONG came on my playlist!!

I can’t tell you what this song does to me, gang. It just calms my soul right now. So that helped.

“Lime Tree Arbor”, 1997. From Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds’ The Boatman’s Call. Enjoy, gang.

Everything new is heading this way…

I can just feel so clearly, gang, that everything in my world is changing.

And cycles are coming to a close; and new, as yet unknown, cycles getting ready to begin.

But first–

Today is the “official” day that he was taken from us:

RIP JFK

Also, check out this from Phil back in 2021, if you haven’t already:

JFK Part 3 – “A shocking alternative theory to the JFK Assassination aftermath.

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Okay, yesterday, when I was with my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man –after we came back home from having our sashimi & sake — and, OH!! The restaurant has yet another new fortune cookie supplier and they are awful! His fortune was totally lame and my fortune cookie was empty!!

(Could this be yet another sign that cycles in my life are ending???)

Anyway. I digress…

After we came back home, he fell asleep for an hour, because of the sake. And since I don’t drink sake, I was totally sober and puttering around, tidying stuff, gathering the laundry and getting it ready to do when I go over there today, etc.

And even while I was sort of sad, looking around me at all the amazing stuff in his home, from all over the world, and all the memories I have now of spending time with him that I am really going to treasure, I clearly felt that I was leaving. That when I retire, I’m going to totally retire.

And move on.

And after I left his house, on the drive home, I was feeling profoundly grateful to all the clients I’ve had over these past 15 months. I felt like I’ve learned what they wanted to tell me — about aging, about the past, about family, pets, possessions, and preparing for dying.

And I had the distinct feeling that it’s my turn now: to live out the remainder of my life in the best way that suits me.

What a feeling, gang. It was so empowering. Going into the last chapters of my life now, with my eyes wide open from all the things my clients have taught me.

Wow.

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And this is sort of unexpected–

Tomorrow morning, I might not be able to post here.

Several days ago, I got an invite in the mail from a small church in the next town over. Tomorrow is there annual “new friends in the community” service, with a Pastor’s reception afterwards, in the fellowship hall.

The church is very small, and while their hymns are done in bluegrass style, they are otherwise very conservative. KJV (which is the bible style I was ordained under). And no drinking, no smoking, no partying, no LGBTQ+ shenanigans, etc.

But as loyal readers of this lofty blog perhaps recall, I have been looking for a new local church. Every church imaginable in this area has invited me to attend their church — Methodist, Evangelical, Presbyterian, Church of Christ, Mormon, and Jehovah’s Witness.

For some reason, this church’s invite popped up and appealed to me. So we’ll see. I am definitely feeling like I’m going to at least check it out tomorrow morning. And then, after that, I will have to head to my shift with the retired Minister and his lovely wife and cat…

The actual church

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I don’t know, gang. It is such an interesting feeling — retiring. I have no idea what lies ahead, but I feel really confident about all of it.

Even if nothing I write ends up selling, I honestly don’t mind. I don’t mind self-publishing stuff — I’ve been doing that for years already.
And I’ve already experienced (for a couple of decades) that incredible feeling wherein every single thing I wrote, sold. Everything. Fiction, nonfiction, flash fiction, memoirs, essays, novels, novellas.

All over the world.

I had publishers in the Philippines, in Japan, in Spain, Germany, Italy, France, London, Denmark, and of course, all over the US.

I had two books published by the Book of the Month Club!

And this morning, I was lying in bed with my cup of coffee in reach, and as the sun came up, I was thinking about the book signings I did in Boston, in Cambridge MA, San Francisco, Los Angeles, London, Paris, and, of course, all over NYC.

Lots of trains, planes, and rented automobiles!

And all of this was for my erotica. Not for some lofty tome, right? Erotica. A genre that no one will touch anymore.

Such different days. It was incredible.

And the trips to Los Angeles, to meet with producers about my various TV projects (not erotica!), and having those various producers tell me that I was a great writer…(And not a single solitary person EVER hitting on me! So different from the music business…)

Wow. It was all exciting. My 30s, 40s, and 50s. And yet I don’t need to repeat it. If I do, great. But honestly, the chance to just write what I want to write and just experience my life before it zips by in a flash. Those are the prospects I’m actually interested in now, gang.

It just feels incredible.

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Okay. I gotta scoot and head back into town!

Enjoy your Saturday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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I leave you with this, on this auspicious anniversary.

The Screaming Blue Messiahs, from their phenomenal album, Gun Shy, 1986. “President Kennedy’s Mile.” Enjoy, gang.

Okay, well. Good morning!!

I have to say, gang, that I have tried many times to get that virtual Nick Cave art exhibit to work, but I can only make it through the opening images and then I can’t go down the long hallway.

It is so frustrating to not have the kind of skills I need to do this thing!! But I will keep trying…

(If anyone has any helpful advice, please leave me a comment! “Thank you for your attention to this matter. – DJT”)

Meanwhile…

Before I forget, beginning December 8th, all my eBooks on Smashwords will be free to download again in their Annual Holiday Sale. Warning: These are erotic titles and intended for adults only.

There are 4 titles there: Freak Parade, and The Muse Revisited Vols. I, II, & III. All of them are pretty old, but they still seem to fly off the shelves during the free download sale. So I thank you in advance! And I will remind you again as the date gets closer.

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And as a reminder — on LULU, I have a total of 12 titles. These are, for the most part, my newest books and eBooks.

You must scroll down and select “Show Explicit Content” to see these titles. All of them, except for Twilight of the Immortal, are absolutely for adults only.

(Although, all over the Internet, it says that Freak Parade is suitable for ages 7 and up — on what planet it’s suitable for a 7-year-old, I absolutely don’t know…)

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Okay!

I forgot to post this yesterday! So I post it now, along with a new one.

Keith, of course!!

From Stonesdata, Keith in 1972:

And this — during recording sessinos (sometimes called “sessions”) for Beggars Banquet, 1968. What a great album:

And here’s this, from Beggars Banquet:

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I started watching this film on the Wonder Project channel last night. It’s an old one — from 1997. But I am really loving it:

You can also watch it on Tubi, Netflix, etc.

Soul Food”:

“The story centers on the trials of an extended Black American family, held together by longstanding family traditions which begin to fade as serious problems take center stage.”

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I also started watching Season 2 of “Man on the Inside” (Netflix) last night. I laughed out loud a couple of times, which is saying a lot for me, since with most new TV shows, I just don’t appreciate the writing styles at all anymore.

But this show is targeting an older audience, so a lot of the things they get right:

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Okay, so today, I will be with my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man and we will be going out for sashimi and sake! (And fortune cookies!)

We haven’t been there in about 2 weeks. They will wonder what happened to us!!

I will try to make the most of each of my shifts with him, because I really think I am going to simply retire from everything when the New Year comes around, gang. Even though the Agency knows I only want to work 25 hrs a week right now, they have texted me no less than 4 times in the last 24 hours, asking me if it is at all possible for me to pick up an extra shift…

I can see me “retiring” except for the 3 shifts with my Japanese man, and the texts from the Agency probably would just continue…

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Well, I think that’s gonna be it for today. I gotta get moving here and head to town.

Enjoy your Friday, wherever you are in the world!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys See ya!

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I have my retro boombox tuned to an Oldies FM radio station, and when I turned it on this morning, they were playing songs that were on the Top 100 in November 1975. (Yes, a mere 50 years ago…)

Not only did I know every word to every song they played (even the dreaded disco songs!), but in November 1975, I was still stuck in the mental hospital. So all the songs I heard this morning took me right back there.

Not the most joyful time in my life. But I did have a radio by my bed in there and I listened to it every night.

I leave you with this. This was playing while I made my bed this morning, and I knew every single solitary fucking word to it, even though I hadn’t heard the song in ages.

The Eagles. “Lyin’ Eyes”, 1975. From their massively popular album, One of These Nights. Enjoy, gang. (And let’s just be grateful that time passes.)

“Lyin’ Eyes”

City girls just seem to find out early
How to open doors with just a smile
A rich old man and she won’t have to worry
She’ll dress up all in lace and go in style

Late at night a big old house gets lonely
I guess every form of refuge has its price
And it breaks her heart to think her love is only
Given to a man with hands as cold as ice

So she tells him she must go out for the evening
To comfort an old friend who’s feelin’ down
But he knows where she’s goin’ as she’s leavin’
She is headed for the cheatin’ side of town

You can’t hide your lyin’ eyes
And your smile is a thin disguise
I thought by now you’d realize
There ain’t no way to hide your lying eyes

On the other side of town a boy is waiting
With fiery eyes and dreams no one could steal
She drives on through the night anticipating
‘Cause he makes her feel the way she used to feel

She rushes to his arms, they fall together
She whispers that it’s only for awhile
She swears that soon she’ll be comin’ back forever
She pulls away and leaves him with a smile

You can’t hide your lyin’ eyes
And your smile is a thin disguise
I thought by now you’d realize
There ain’t no way to hide your lyin’ eyes

She gets up and pours herself a strong one
And stares out at the stars up in the sky
Another night, it’s gonna be a long one
She draws the shade and hangs her head to cry

She wonders how it ever got this crazy
She thinks about a boy she knew in school
Did she get tired or did she just get lazy?
She’s so far gone she feels just like a fool

My, oh my, you sure know how to arrange things
You set it up so well, so carefully
Ain’t it funny how your new life didn’t change things
You’re still the same old girl you used to be

You can’t hide your lying eyes
And your smile is a thin disguise
I thought by now you’d realize
There ain’t no way to hide your lyin’ eyes
There ain’t no way to hide your lyin’ eyes
Honey, you can’t hide your lyin’ eyes

c- 1975 – Glenn Lewis Frey, Donald Hugh Henley

Okay! Rejoice, Gang!

What a great phone conference I had with my accountant in NYC yesterday.

Any way that you look at it — and there are several ways to approach it, it turns out — I will be able to RETIRE early in 2026.

By retire, I mean from working a part-time job. I’m not planning on ever retiring from writing.

And even though I will have to live sort of frugally, I will still be able to take that “Tracking Jesus Tour” of the Holy Land with James Tabor’s group, when it is safe to go back over there. (This is my life’s dream, gang — to do that specific history/archeology tour about Jesus with James Tabor.)

And I will even be able to visit Prague, Berlin, and Alsenz at some point, too. Alsenz, in Germany, is where my ancestors were from–

The church in Alsenz where my ancestors were baptized, married, etc.

And of course, Prague is where Franz Kafka was from–

Where Kafka lived and wrote, from 1916-1917

And Berlin, just because I’ve always wanted to see Berlin.

Anyway.

I can’t tell you the profound relief I felt after that conversation with my accountant.

Even though I seriously doubt that my life will be “full of deadlines” ever again, like it was in the years before the lockdowns, it will still be such a blessing to be able to write again, every single day.

Even though it takes a lot of energy to deal with the many cats all day/every day — they are like having a tiny herd of cattle in the house at all times —

It’s nothing compared to the amount of emotional energy it takes to do the caregiving. It makes it nearly impossible for me to find enough energy to focus and write.

So!

Yay.

I will keep you posted.

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In other rejoicing news!!

Nick Cave’s Stranger Than Kindness art exhibit from a few years ago is now virtual — and FREE!!!

Visit this link to start the tour. (I’m not going to do it until later, when I can just relax!)

Today, I am meeting my friend, Steve, for lunch to catch up before the holidays. (Steve is the guy I’ve been friends with since we were both 11 years old.)

We’re going back to Three Tigers Brewing Co in Granville!

Once I get home from lunch, I’m going to take the virtual Nick Cave art tour!!

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In other Nick Cave news–

He sent out a very interesting Red Hand File this morning, wherein he answered a question about the song that helps him to feel genuinely joyful.

You can read about it here.

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Ross K. Nichols is one of the speakers in an upcoming online event:

Awaken the Christ Within Summit, a fully online event running:

December 3–9, 2025

If you register through the link below (FREE), you get immediate access to an interview with Ross:

The Hidden Jesus–Moses Connection & The Moses Scroll: Was the Bible Edited?

A deep dive into the authentic Moses, the original Torah, the Josianic reform, and the surprising historical trail that led to my research on The Moses Scroll.”

Use THIS LINK

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How cool is this??

Just in, from Variety

Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter ‘Waiting for Godot’ Revival Recoups $7.5 Million Investment (EXCLUSIVE)

“The Broadway revival of Samuel Beckett’s existential masterpiece “Waiting for Godot” has recouped its initial investment of $7.5 million in eight weeks. The show has been a hot ticket thanks to the pairing of “Bill & Ted” stars Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter. Jamie Lloyd, who oversaw recent revivals of “Sunset Boulevard” and “Evita,” directs the show. “Waiting for Godot” is the first production of the 2025-2026 season to make back its investment, a feat that’s growing rarer as producers struggle with the punishing economics of Broadway.”

Photo Andy Henderson

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Last night, I watched the 2014 documentary on the late poet laureate, W. S. Merwin, “Even Though the Whole World is Burning“.

I enjoyed it, but it focused mostly on his work as an environmental activist, not as much on his poetry. But I’m still glad I finally saw it.

Official Trailer:

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And I think maybe that’s it for now! I gotta get ready for my lunch date with Steve!

Enjoy your Thursday, wherever you are in the world.

Oh, and you know what? I keep forgetting to thank you guys for continuing to purchase the Kindle edition of my beloved novel from 5 years ago — The Guitar Hero Goes Home. Thank you so much!! That novel means so much to me.

And here’s something that astounds me — even though I have kept this blog continuously (on varying blog sites) since 1997, this year I have already had more visitors to the blog than I’ve had in about 15 years. And the year is not over!!

Thank you so much for this — especially since it is more popular nowadays to have podcasts and not blogs. I really, really appreciate it.

Okay. Thanks for visiting!

I love you guys. See ya!

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I leave you with this!!

Yes! I’ve left you with this before!! But here it is again!

My traveling-back-home-from-town music from yesterday! It came up on my playlist and then I couldn’t stop hitting ‘repeat’.

Neil Diamond, “Sweet Caroline”. 1969. Enjoy, gang!! And rejoice.

“Sweet Caroline”

Where it began
I can’t begin to knowin’
But then I know it’s growin’ strong

Was in the spring
And spring became the summer
Who’d have believed you’d come along

Hands, touchin’ hands
Reachin’ out, touchin’ me, touchin’ you

Sweet Caroline
Good times never seemed so good
I’ve been inclined
To believe they never would
But now I…

…look at the night
And it don’t seem so lonely
We fill it up with only two

And when I hurt
Hurtin’ runs off my shoulders
How can I hurt when holdin’ you?

Warm, touchin’ warm
Reachin’ out, touchin’ me, touchin’ you

Sweet Caroline
Good times never seemed so good
I’ve been inclined
To believe they never would
Oh, no, no

Sweet Caroline
Good times never seemed so good
Sweet Caroline
I believed they never could

Sweet Caroline
Good times never seemed so good

c – 1969 Neil Diamond

Back Again!

Yesterday’s 10-hr shift went really well, but I was still relieved when it was over. It’s such a long shift, gang. And the only time I sit and “do nothing” is when I’m eating my lunch… with one eye on the client the whole time, to make sure nothing goes wonky.

Anyway!

Today is going to be a very interesting day. After my shift, I have a phone conference with my accountant in NYC, to go over my prospects for being able to retire early next year.

I know I will have to live frugally for the rest of my life, but I think it will be worth it, just to be able to finally relax and focus on the half-finished writing projects, along with the new ones.

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All right, here’s this!

Tonight (UK time) on Soho Radio–

Jim Sclavunos has Warren Ellis as his guest!

You can access the show directly, HERE.

I listen to Soho Radio on an app on my iPhone. Either way, if you miss the live broadcast, you can always access a replay.

(Oh, Jim and Warren are musicians and members of the Bad Seeds, if you are unfamiliar with them.) (Jim’s radio show always has great music on it — and not the kind of music you will ever find posted here on the blog because he tends to play music that isn’t from 155 years ago…)

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And here’s this!!

“The Death of Bunny Munro” — the TV adaptation of Nick Cave’s novel — is finally available!! (If you get SkyTV in your area.)

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And here’s a bunch of other stuff!

Keith, backstage in Cleveland, November 16, 1981! (I was in NYC by then.)

Richard Hell, Johnny Thunders, and Sid Vicious!! (47 years ago??!! WTF!!!)

And if you saw my post the other morning regarding Billy Sheehan’s Instagram page–

From last night! (I love how his wife has autumnal placemats and napkins!! I am so into that stuff, gang.)

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Okay.

So, today I’ll be back with my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man! And the entire time since I last saw him (on Saturday) he was with one of his daughters. She flew in from Texas. She flew back out last night. But I know he had a great time being with her. He was so excited about her visit — and the prospects of spending time with her at the Japan Marketplace in Asian Town in Columbus (she is, of course, Japanese).

Japan Marketplace

And I have to say, gang, I am still kinda up in the air regarding full retirement. I’m still sort of thinking I would keep my 3 shifts with my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man. I don’t want to just abandon him. But I do really want to retire…. we’ll see.

I think I’ll let the Agency and my accountant figure that one out for me.

Meanwhile, though, I will see him today. And take it one day at a time…

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So, yesterday, I subscribed to the Wonder Project channel on Amazon Prime. I’m very interested in seeing their content.

If you are a long-time reader of this lofty blog, you’ll know that during the lockdowns, ALL of my TV and film projects that were in development out in LA, evaporated overnight.

And 2 of those projects are African-American, faith-based projects. (Connected with Sandra.) So I’m curious if I might be able to re-think those projects. We’ll see. The agent that originally contracted them for development is still in the business, and so, of course, is Sandra.

But this is one of those reasons why I want to retire from everything else but the writing. This stuff requires a TON of time and focus.

Oh!

I saw this ad on Netflix last night!! I’m excited to see season 2. I really liked this show and the next season looks even better:

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Here’s this!

From Simcha Jacobovici — Jesus Had A Wife: the Evidence (8 mins):

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From Biblical Archeology–

Finding Jesus at Chorazin | Interview with archaeologist Achia Kohn-Tavor (24 mins):

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And that could be it for now, gang.

Have a wonder-filled Wednesday, wherever you are in the world!!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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Ironically!!

My driving-home-in-the-dark-and-pouring-down-rain listening music from last night!!

Another song from my wee bonny 12-year-old girlhood that I just loved!

Johnny Nash, “I Can See Clearly Now”. Enjoy, gang.

“I Can See Clearly Now”

I can see clearly now, the rain has gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright, bright sun-shining day
It’s gonna be a bright, bright sun-shining day

I think I can make it now, the pain has gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is that rainbow I’ve been praying for
It’s gonna be a bright, bright sun-shining day

Look all around, there’s nothing but blue sky
Look straight ahead, nothing but blue sky

I can see clearly now, the rain has gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone’re the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright, bright sun-shining day
It’s gonna be a bright, bright sun-shining day
Gonna be a bright, bright sun-shining day
Gonna be a bright, bright, bright sun-shining day

c – 1972 Johnny Nash

Just when you thought I was going to maybe be on time…

Sorry I’m late!!

Today is really the first day I’ve had completely and totally OFF in about 3 weeks. So I think I just went ahead and collapsed. I slept in until 5AM (!!) — I haven’t done that since before the time change. And then after I went back to bed with my coffee to meditate and get ready for this splendid day, I just did not want to get out of bed.

But here I now am!

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My shift with the retired Minister and his lovely wife and cat was really weird yesterday.

I can’t go into the details. It wasn’t bad, just “challenging.” And more than ever, I am really planning to retire early next year. I really don’t know how much more of the caregiving I can handle.

We shall see.

My primary concern, of course, is my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man. He does not handle new or unfamiliar caregivers very well at all. Plus, he thinks he has known me for years. He thinks I was also freinds with his late wife (by the time I began working with him last October, she had been gone for nearly 6 years).

I know it would be so hard on him if I simply stopped showing up and someone else was suddenly in my place.

My Q-following friend had a good point, though, when we were discussing this very topic on our recent road trip to see my birth mom — she said that if I gave up all other clients and only worked with him, I might be able to handle it better.

It’s something to think about.

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Speaking of road trips!!

Greenfield, Ohio

So, okay — wow. Am I glad I made that trip, gang.

The night before, I was panicking. It’s part of being born “a mistake” and never really feeling like I belonged anywhere. And there’s always a little voice in the back of my head saying that my birth mom (even after 40 years of having her back in my life) is suddenly going to announce: “I changed my mind and I want you to stay away from me now.”

I called my girlfriend and said that I was canceling the trip. I was too stressed out. I was convinced that my mother didn’t want to see me. That I have no place left in that family — I’m an outsider, etc.

My girlfriend convinced me that I had to make the trip. That my mom wasn’t getting any younger, and if I canceled the trip, I would never re-schedule it.

So I said okay, we’ll go. But I was still stressing.

And then Thursday morning, I was wearing a white pullover that had little pumpkins and fall leaves all over it, and I was wearing a very autumnal-colored pair of rust-colored jeans. And even my coat had autumn colors. And even my earrings kind of matched my shirt.

And even though this is how I actually dress in the fall (!!), I suddenly felt that everyone would think that I dress really weird.

But the trip got underway, and what a gorgeous fall day it was. It was such a great day for a drive on mostly backroads in rural Ohio.

And my girlfriend and I never stopped talking the whole way. It was great.

And when we arrived in Greenfield, I could not believe how pretty that town was. Actually, it has now been downsized to a village, no longer a town. (Like here in Crazeysburg, where I live. This used to be a town — it had a hotel, a billiard hall, some bars, a grocery store, a restaurant. Now it has none of those things and only about 1300 people live here. Greenfield is a lot bigger than here, but it is still smaller than it once was.)

I remembered that I had always liked Greenfield, but I hadn’t been back there in about 40 years. I had been back for my grandmother’s funeral about 12 years ago, but the cemetery is on the outskirts of the town, so I wasn’t actually in the town itself.

But, wow, do they take a lot of pride in it’s history. It is so pretty and they take really good care of the really old buildings (some as early as the 1800s).

My mother’s little senior apartment complex is directly behind the buildings on the left:

I was expecting my mom’s apartment complex to be a lot bigger and sort of non-descript and industrial looking but the complex was tiny, rustic and old, and adorable.

AND — my mother was waiting for us in front of her little apartment and she was wearing a black pullover with tiny fall leaves all over it and matching little fall-leaf-shaped earrings.

This idea that I don’t belong in that family is now, you know, completely over…

And her little front garden was full of little fall stuff that she’d bought at the Family Dollar — which is another thing that I totally and completely do!

Anyway. She said: “I was so nervous about you coming here. I was so stressed out. I’ve been cleaning all morning.”

This was the first time I’d actually seen her apartment. She’s only been there a few years. (She lived forever and ever in a farm house in Jackson, Ohio.) And it was not only absolutely adorable, but the way she had it decorated, it was like walking into a tiny version of my own house.

Oh, also, I had brought $50 to give to her and I kept stressing about that, too. Should I give her money? Is that weird? Will she be offended? But after my brother had gone out, I gave her the $50 and I said, “Here, I just wanted you to have this. I didn’t want to give this to you around Ronnie, because I don’t want him to spend it.”

And, gang, she practically cried. She said, “Thank you so much. “

I was so glad I had brought her that money.

She and my girlfriend and I went out for lunch and the food was fantastic. And we just had the best time. And it was right across from the old (and beautiful) high school :

Both my mom and my birth dad attended this high school, even though both of them dropped out and did not graduate.

But being in that town felt like a part of me was “home” and I remember feeling that same feeling when I used to go there back in the late 80s.

It was just a beautiful feeling. And I felt like my birth dad was there in spirit with us.

Well, the trip was short, but the drive back here was just stunning. We took a different route, wherein I also got to pass by my old alma mater — Ohio Christian University, where I studied for the ministry about 10 years ago. Wow, are they taking great care of that place, too:

And after I got back home, my mom called me to make sure we’d gotten back okay. And she started to cry a little and she said, “I was so stressed about you two coming here to this tiny apartment, but I had such a nice time. I am so happy you came. I just wish I could walk out my door and walk right over to your house and walk inside.”

That made me feel incredible, gang.

And right before I left her house, she surprised me by giving me a really lovely framed Thomas Kincaid print– of a church in the spring. She had originally given it to my grandmother as a gift, but took it back after my grandmother died:

This is the print — with a really beautiful frame

I was blown away! It is so pretty. And the fact that she wanted me to have it, instead of her other daughters or her granddaughters or her great-granddaughters… it just meant so much to me.

It’s now hanging in my kitchen because I wanted to look at it all the time. And now every time I go into my kitchen and see it, I just smile.

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Well, sorry this is so long! But it is safe to say that I no longer feel like I don’t belong in that family.

Okay. So.

Enjoy your Monday, wherever you are in the world!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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I leave you with this!

Breakfast-listening music. Another one from Mojo, 2010. Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers’ “Good Enough”.

Enjoy, gang.

“Good Enough”

She was hell on her mama
Impossible to please
She wore out her daddy
Got the best of me

But there’s somethin’ about her
That only I can see
And that’s good enough

You’re barefoot in the grass
And you’re chewin’ sugarcane
You got a little buzz on
You’re kissin’ in the rain

And if a day like this
Don’t ever come again

Well that’s good enough
Good enough for me
Good enough for right now
Good enough for me
Good enough for right now

God bless this land
God bless this whiskey
I can’t trust love
It’s far too risky

If she marries into money
She’s still gonna miss me
And that’s good enough
Gonna have to be good enough

c -2010 Tom Petty, Mike Campbell

Back to Beautiful in Crazeysburg!

A lovely morning here. Yay!

A little chilly, but it is mid-November, so I can’t complain. Oh, wait! I could complain, but I won’t!!

I have a shift with the retired Minister later today, but most of the day here is free and I have tomorrow OFF, so — yay!! I’m tired, but I’m happy.

Okay!

I forgot to post this yesterday!

It was 45 years ago yesterday that I moved to NYC!! What a time it was, gang. New York in the 80s. Wow. Some rough stuff out there in those streets but so memorable! (And for some reason, living for nearly 30 years in NYC was never as rough as my life had been in Columbus, Ohio…)

And here is quite a memorable song from that era, too. Whenever I hear this song, I always remember that first year I spent in NYC. It was life-changing on so many levels. Queen, 1980, “Another One Bites the Dust”:

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Here’s this!

I loved this photo of Allen Ginsberg in Prague, March 1965:

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And, WOW, gang!

I got up to go to the bathroom during the night at — apparently — 2:49AM, and these 2 very cool texts were on the home screen on my phone!! I had to take a screenshot for you!

One was from Wayne, with more kind words about my manuscript for The Curse of Our Profound Disorder.

And a quick reply from Billy Sheehan to one of my comments to him on Instagram!

If you don’t know who Billy Sheehan is:

“…an American musician known for playing bass guitar with acts such as Talas, Steve VaiDavid Lee RothMr. Big, Niacin, and The Winery Dogs. He is also known for his “lead bass” playing style, including the use of chording, two-handed tapping, “three-finger picking” technique and controlled feedback. Sheehan has been voted “Best Rock Bass Player” five times in Guitar Player readers’ polls.”

Billy Sheehan

His account on Instagram is personal — he’s actually the one posting stuff, not an assistant. And while he has a ton of bass-related stuff, he also posts photos of his cats, his wife, his yard, his meals when he’s on tour, etc.

And I really appreciated Wayne’s text about the Jack Kicking Eagle section of my novel, because I re-wrote that particular stuff many, many times. Even when I finally signed-off on it, I wasn’t sure if it was going to be clear enough for readers to appreciate it. So that really felt good.

And — oddly enough — when I was driving home from my shift yesterday afternoon, I was thinking about that very section of the book and I was wondering what Wayne was going to think of it. So it was particularly cool to see that text in the middle of the night. I went back to sleep with a little smile on my face.

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And yesterday, while I was with my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man, we were talking about the hot springs area of Japan where his father had gone to live until he died — Beppu Onsen in Kyushu.

I found a photo of it on my phone and his face lit up when he saw it. “Yes! That is it!”

Since his long-term memory is still perfect, he really, really enjoys seeing photos of people and places he remembers from his past.

Here is the photo of Beppu and this LINK tells you about the area.

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You know, the older I get, the more convinced I am that I won’t be able to see a lot of the places I’d dreamed of traveling to in this lifetime, primarily because I get so tired of doing everything all by myself. And the places I want to visit, and the reasons why I want to visit them — I can’t imagine anyone being interested in going with me.

Except maybe Kara! I can actually imagine myself saying to her:

ME: “Come on, Kara, we’re going to Beppu Onsen in Kyushu! Get your passport ready!”

SHE (a little mystified): “Oh, really? Okay! Wow, where did I put that darn passport…”

Kara — driving an hour each way, to go to a Mexican restaurant and then see the Andrea Bocelli 30th Anniversary movie with me…
Kara — spending a fucking fortune on a hotel room in Columbus and a ticket to see Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds with me, even though she basically had no idea who they were…

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Okay, that’s kind of it for now.

I know I said I was going to go into more of the details about my great trip to see my birth mom and my younger, 59-year-old (!!), brother. But it will wait until tomorrow.

Enjoy your Sunday, wherever you are in the world!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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I leave you with this!

I love this song!! I especially love the off-beat Thomas Jefferson history of it.

I’ve been playing this CD on my retro boombox for the last few mornings, when I finally get up, let the cats into my room, and start making the bed!! And then this fantastic opening riff sticks with me all morning.

Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, “Jefferson Jericho Blues”, from their fantastic album, Mojo, 2010. Enjoy, gang.

“Jefferson Jericho Blues”

Well poor Tom Jefferson
He loved the little maid out back
Midnight creepin’ out to the servant’s shack
Kept a secret under the bed
Wrapped in a burlap sack
Well I drove all day and night
Out to Jericho
But in my second mind

I knew it was time to go
Yeah and I still get nervous every time
That bugle blows
Well she ain’t no good for me
But I just can’t let go
If I sit here thinkin’
My thoughts will overflow
And I can’t keep from cryin’
Can’t keep time from movin’ slow

c – 2010 Tom Petty