Tag Archives: writing

What a glorious spring!

That vintage postcard image of the chick on the telephone was supposed to be my Easter post for you on Sunday, but everything got away from me since I had to be at church for 17 trillion hours that day, and now here it is, 4 days later…

Still, I thought it was a cute image, so I regale you with it, regardless!

Here’s a thought: When I woke this morning, at 5:02 a.m., I had the sudden realization that 34 years ago this very day, I got married for the first time, down at city hall in Manhattan. That’s really shocking, because I always feel like I’m still about 12 years old, so to think that I was even alive anywhere 34 years ago, let alone getting married to a man who has actually been dead now for 20 years, is simply something I cannot wrap my wee bonnie mind around!!

But enough of that! Things right here, right now, are really great so let’s just move forward.

Here’s something else that is really interesting. Amazon brought to my attention yesterday that quite a flurry of folks have been buying my eBooks here in the USA over the past 2 months. This is quite an exciting development, since I haven’t written any books since 2010 (I’ve been focusing on screenplays and teleplays since then).  But I do have several other book ideas on my back burner and it occurred to me that maybe I should set aside some real time and write something new!

To be honest, people all over the world are still buying my erotica (in the UK and Germany, mostly) and those are stories that have been recycled and recycled and recycled since the NINETIES, gang! I am astounded that people are not stupidly tired of them.  (Or perhaps they are, and they only keep buying them in the vain hope that the stories might have new endings or something by now…)

Well, I’m not planning on writing anymore erotica. Not that I think ministers shouldn’t write erotica if they feel moved to do so; it’s just that I wrote erotica for over 20 years. I wrote dark and bleak erotica, I wrote funny and upbeat erotica, I wrote romantic and sweet erotica, and I also wrote just plain literate award-winning erotica. I don’t feel like I have much left to stay in that department! I wanna write about other stuff! Yay!!

Still, it was a real thrill to see the boost in sales when I do absolutely ZERO to promote that stuff anymore.  (Plus, it was nice to see that Twilight of the Immortal is selling again, too, and that’s historical fiction — not erotic at all.) So I really want to thank any and all of you who are feeling compelled to purchase my fiction!! I really appreciate it.

Well, okay!

Today is just a gorgeous spring day and all I have to do today, besides homework, is argue with Time-Warner Cable on the telephone and most likely entreat them to close my account since I really stream everything on my iPad anyway, but we’ll see how it goes. I also plan on taking a walk later, to see what splendid & wondrous sights God has in store for my eyes today. I hope that wherever you are, something similar is going on!! (The “wondrous God on a gorgeous spring day” part, not the argument with Time Warner Cable.)  Thanks for visiting again, gang.  See ya real soon!

"You're raising my cable bill to HOW MUCH??!!"
“You’re raising my cable bill to HOW MUCH??!! But all I watch on cable are old re-runs of Columbo!!”

 

Yes, Holy Week be Upon Us!

Yay. My favorite week of the year, even though “favorite” might not be the best word for describing a crucifixion, let alone the crucifixion of someone so widely missed as, well, you know who…

This is the week that I am more “in” church than “out” of church. I love the solemnity of it, the beauty of it, the pathos of it — and the questions that I ask myself all week long: “How much of this stuff is actually true???!!” Who the heck knows, right? As a minister, I’m supposed to tow the party line & buy it all, but I know it won’t surprise you to know that I question every single solitary thing. But I still love it….

I love it SO MUCH, in fact, that, yes, I am back in school, completing the next phase of my ministry degree. I know I said I was done, but it turned out — I was wrong! I don’t need all this education to be a mionister (that’s Olde French for “minister”), but I still crave that Masters in Divinity, so I am sticking with school, for now. We’ll see how I can manage that once I move back to New York, but for now, I am back in school and loving it.

And also on Spring Break! Yay. Just in time to be at church constantly. So.

Wow, the re-writes of the original stage musical I am working on with that actress in New York City– it is going spectacularly well!! Yes, after several months of pulling teeth, pulling hair — I don’t know; what else can we pull out in frustration? Whatever it was, we pulled it and we are almost done with the revisions of Act One and I still think the show is incredible, gang. It already won one award — these revisions are being done on a grant from the Canadian Arts Council. The play won the actress/writer the Best New African-Canadian Playwright award — something like that.  So the lovely world of Canada is paying my wages and will pay my airfare to NYC soon, to work in person with the actress and the music director, and everyone else.  (I know, I keep saying I will be going to NYC soon to work on this, and it keeps getting postponed, but, naturally, now that I am back in school, the trip is imminent again!) But I am a big fan of Canada now. Yay! Honestly, what’s not to love??

Okay. Since it has been over a month since you last heard from me: Yes, I was glued to every single solitary episode of Empire! Wow, how addicting! I love Terrence Howard, which was the main reason I tuned in the very first night, but then I was hooked on the indescribably unChristian immorality of every single character!! Too fun, wasn’t it, gang? Luckily, the first season is over now — making room in my world for the final season of my beloved Mad Men. (I’m hoping they will soon release some sort of gorgeous Boxed DVD set that I can purchase and display prominently, next to the icons of Christ…)

The other thing I waste way too much time on is Miranda Sings. This is why I had to go back to school, gang. It gives me something to do with my magnificent brain besides binge-watch endless 5-minute episodes of Miranda Sings, laughing myself silly. She is just too funny.  (I don’t know if I can pick an absolute favorite episode, I have so many, but the one where she gives singing lessons to Pentatonix is right up there, along with the What’s In My Pants Challenge.)

On that lofty note, though, I do want to wish everyone a very blessed Holy Week.  Even if you aren’t a big Christ-follower yourself, there is a whole lot about human nature that we can learn from this week. Mainly, that when Christ entered Jerusalem on Sunday, he was already a dead man walking; the same crowds that cheered him on Sunday, had him nailed to a cross by Friday morning… Funny, how the more things change in 2000 years, the more they stay exactly the same, right? Something to ponder, anyway — how the “crowd” will turn on you on a dime.

Okay!! Now that the roof guy has finished patching the enormous hole in my roof and gone home, I’m gonna get my taxes together here. I have a nice little pile of official-looking junk on my desk that I have to make sense out of before I dump it onto someone else’s desk! Yay! (The buck never stops here, folks. Whenever I see one coming, I scoot quickly away!!)

I hope you are gearing up for a fantastic spring. Things simply could not be better over here — I hope it’s likewise wherever you are! Thanks for visiting, gang. See ya!

Spring chickens -- hey, they look a lot like YOU!!
Spring chickens — hey, they look a lot like YOU!!

 

 

 

Snow, snow! Come out in the snow!!

Nothing but snow here today, gang!! Wow. I could not be happier! And the snow is not supposed to stop until much later tonight. So — Yay!!

A perfect day to stay in, get all cozy, and do nothing! Oops! I mean do rewrites!! hahaha. Well, whatever.  Today I have decided to do whatever the spirit moves me to do. I have made a secret pact with myself to BE HAPPY!!

And btw, that book pictured up there (& below) — Snow, by Roy McKie and P. D. Eastman — was one of my favorite books when I was a little girl in Cleveland; where all it did, all winter long, incidentally, was SNOW! Yippee ki yi yay!

zsnow6(P. D. Eastman was the author/illustrator of many of my favorite books when I was really little: Go, Dog. Go! (notice the precise punctuation in that title, gang — doesn’t it just kill you?? Well, it does me, the self-same gal who is frequently wearing an editor’s hat.); A Fish Out of WaterRobert the Rose Horse (although with a red cover in my day); and Are You My Mother?)

But Snow was one of those really early “I Can Read It All By Myself” books that helped you learn how to read. Well, sort of. What Snow did, really, was have really, really, really short sentences that were easy to memorize and recite by heart when you were only two, so it sort of seemed to innocent bystanders (or bysitters) as if you were reading, when in fact you were about six before you could even spell your own name because some brilliant older people who should have known better decided to give you a seven-letter name, like, Marilyn, instead of the mere four-letter name that they had given to your older brother, Adam, wherein two of those letters were exactly the same, so is it any wonder that he could spell a name like that when he was, say, six months old??

Okay, I digress!

Yes, I loved Cleveland. I loved growing up in Cleveland. I loved all that snow in Cleveland. I truly did.  I will never forget the very first time I became cognizant of snow.  I was probably around 2 and a half years old. It was early in the morning, my mother was already up and in the little kitchenette making breakfast. I got out of bed, went into our little playroom-type room, where Shari Lewis and Lambchop were already on the black & white TV set, and I was suddenly spellbound by the sight of all that white stuff falling all over everything outside! I jumped up onto the couch with my mouth hanging open, as I stared out the window. Then, shouting, I hurried into the kitchen to alert my mother, who calmly informed me that all that white stuff falling all over everything outside was “snow.”

Well, I was delighted by the development.  (Which is a good thing, since all it really does in Cleveland for most of the year is snow…)

We had a very small house in those days — a mid-1950s, California A-Frame style — on an unassuming cul-de-sac called Horizon Drive (if you open that link, you can get a street view of it on google and see for yourself that, while bearing a name as lofty, promising, and limitless as “Horizon Drive,” it is still rather unassuming — our house was all the way over on the south corner), but to me, it was paradise. Honestly. We had a big tree in the backyard, which my brother fell out of once (proof that pride-in-spelling-one’s-own-name goeth before a fall); we had a sandbox, and a swing set. And once, we even had a little pup tent that I was determined to spend the night in even though a thunderstorm was on its way, taking with me as my provisions, a little pack of chiclets–

Original Chicklets Tiny Size
Original Chiclets Tiny Size

–until my mother came out and suggested that spending the night over at my Grandma’s might be way more enjoyable than sleeping all night in a tiny little tent all by myself in a thunderstorm.  (Turned out that — just that one time — my mother was right!!)

Anyway, I have wonderful memories of that little house. We lived there until the middle of 1964.

And here is a shot just now of part of my backyard, looking out from the sun room door (something like 8 more inches of snow is due to fall):

zsnowDoes it kill you to think they are going to demolish all of this later this year? It does me, gang, but the upside is that I am going back to New York and will be living much closer to all my friends. Not to mention, Broadway, midtown Manhattan, those great museums, restaurants, etc., etc. Focusing on that helps take away the heartache for me. And one day, all this will be years behind me, just like Cleveland…

So! On that snappy note, I am going to close this and go figure out what will make me happiest today and then settle in and do precisely that. Have a great Saturday, wherever you are and whichever breezes are blowing in your direction, gang, be they balmy or blastingly cold!! Thanks for visiting. See ya!

 

 

An interesting day, on so many levels!

One of the really good things about today is that Lent is just around the corner!! Yay!!

For Lent, the Right Reverend Marilyn Jaye Lewis gives up all sweets, treats, and snacking — and since I currently have some incredibly yummy imported Italian gelato in my freezer, which must go before Wednesday, I feel completely entitled to eat gelato today, and plenty of it (!!), to ensure that it does not end up going into the kitchen trash. Yay!

I also have a bag of those Terra Exotic Vegetable Chips in the cupboard (that “healthy alternative” to potato chips, though they are still deep fried in fat with added salt — just, I guess, a better kind of fat and a better kind of salt!). Anyway, those, too, must go!! Yay!!

So, for me, Fat Tuesday is actually happening on Fat Sunday this year…

Okay, you caught me! That link above there will take you to the Wiki page for a non-New Orleans- Shrove Tuesday, which is still the night before Ash Wednesday, when you basically consume all the yummy good stuff you can’t have during Lent.  However… Shrove Tuesday also involves  “making a special point of self-examination, of considering what wrongs [we] need to repent, and what amendments of life or areas of spiritual growth [we] especially need to ask God’s help in dealing with.”

I’m thinking this might be a good introspective time for me to figure out what the heck is going on with all these re-writes I don’t seem especially eager to undertake! Aside from working with Kevin yesterday, I got no writing done at all. Instead, I watched Love Story and Pillow Talk — two wonderful old movies.  And on top of it, by the end of the evening, I was thinking that I didn’t want to be a writer anymore at all! I thought, “Why on earth would I want to write for television in L.A., when all I really want to do is move back to New York and frolic among the pines in my friend’s 3.09-acre backyard??!!”

Indeed. I am 54! I don’t necessarily need to be a writer anymore. I’ve done a heck of a lot of writing already. And once this house gets sold, I won’t need to do anything I don’t feel like doing ever again! So there!

And yet… last night I had a very intense dream. I was in L.A., in a TV studio, following the producer around, trying to get her to perch somewhere and give me story notes on the TV pilot. And then, when I’d followed her into the control room (I guess it was a “live” TV studio), another producer (also a woman) said, “Just wait until June, when you find out what we’re doing with your novel, Twilight of the Immortal!”

(And if you go to that link, please do not purchase the paperback edition being sold for $74 unless you are a hard core collector. The paperback edition of that book was riddled with typos! I no longer work with that publisher, and the Kindle edition has no typos and is published by me!! Just a word to the wise, gang. Not that I want your money, I just want you to read the 600-page novel as I actually wrote it, without the inane typos littered throughout.)

Needless to say, I awoke from that dream, thinking: What the heck are they going to do with my novel in June???!!! Is it going to be a highly lucrative miniseries for PBS?? I can’t wait to find out!! But then I also thought that the dream was trying to tell me that it is ludicrous to think that I am going to give up writing. Ever. So, it begs the question: Why am I not writing? I guess because I really, really do want to get this move back to New York underway already. This limbo is very distracting. It is making me nuts.

Yet, on that happy, introspective note… I will tarry not a moment longer on this page, and I will get busy on some writing here. Have a wonderful Fat Sunday, wherever you are, gang!! Thanks for visiting. See ya!

Me, later today...
Me, later today…

Happy St. Valentine’s Day, Everybody!

I am having the best St. Valentine’s Day, gang! However, I also have a ton of writing to do this weekend, and so far, today is not off to such a productive start… I worked on some screenplay revisions with Kevin in Brooklyn this morning (he is in Brooklyn, not I — we Skyped!) That went well, except for a curious Final Draft snafu that is worrying me… (Sadly, I think I see a mandatory upgrade to Version 9 hovering in my future.)

Meanwhile… now I have to work on the TV pilot re-writes and all I want to do is stay dreamy and look out the window at the snow!

I tried to coerce myself for 2 hours. I said, “Just write 5 pages. You’ll feel so much better if you just write 5 pages.”

But now I am saying, “Just write one page. Even one lousy page. One lousy page is better than no page.”

And then I answer, “Ah, yes, but I still have all of tomorrow to work on this, too. And tomorrow it won’t be snowing. And it won’t be St. Valentine’s Day, either. Tomorrow will be much better…”

We’ll see how it pans out, gang.

Meanwhile, I am such a happy little camper this year. I share this with you as I impatiently wait to get back to New York!

“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”

― Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

 

Oh no! Now I'm craving chocolate cake!!
Oh no! Now I’m craving chocolate cake!!

okay! Well. Happy, happy, gang!! Make it a great one, whatever you do and whoever you do it with. Thanks for visiting. See ya real soon!

the bliss momentarily disappears!

It’s odd, I know, that now that I’ve graduated and have a lot more time for writing, I seem to have no time whatsoever for writing here.

Partly, it’s because a couple of the projects I have in re-writes have been time consuming and difficult and once I tear my hair out over those, I just want to flee the laptop.

The other part is depression, because the building developers have once again postponed the date for taking over my house and so I am still stuck in this limbo: Living in a house I love that I can’t afford, which is going to be demolished really soon, which is heart-wrenching for me; and wanting to get back to New York already but not knowing when that will actually happen.

The house-limbo has been going on for over two years, already.  It is a really frustrating way to live.  Knowing that, at any moment, everything imaginable will totally change. But which moment?

However. Back to the writing projects… The original musical I am working on with the actress in NYC got unexpectedly difficult. It was one of those stretches where I knew what had to be achieved (cutting 20 minutes of monologue down to 2 minutes, tops), I knew what the high points were that needed to be touched on in those 2 minutes, and yet hours and hours and hours of re-writes, and of listening over and over to a 7-minute digital audio file as a guide,  led simply to madness. (My own, as it turned out!)

I eventually did manage to do it, and then sent it off to the actress, trying to make it seem like I hadn’t, in fact, torn my hair out. She loved it, for some unfathomable reason, so that’s  a relief. And, so, now we move onward to the next segment of Act One. (Yes, those 2 minutes comprise the very first 2 opening minutes of the play. So we only have 73 more minutes to revise…I am currently growing a fresh crop of hair.)

I had a similar experience while doing major revisions to the TV pilot. But finally found my “way in,” as it were, and the opening 7 pages suddenly & finally came (7 pages that comprise about 2 opening minutes, tops, of screen time). And while I have been waiting for feedback from the producer in L.A. this past week, I just this morning read that CBS has placed a pilot order for a TV series whose premise has way too many similarities to the 7 pages I just wrote…

So, back to the drawing board. And I wonder, do I simply go back to my original idea for the pilot and just try to make it better? Or totally tweak the idea off into some other direction? OR (and here’s another brave idea), do I just give up??? And focus on something else.

I’ve never really been the kind of writer who just gives up, though, so I’m not exactly sure how to do that. I am awaiting word from L.A. as I type…

On an uplifting note… last week, I found out from my school that I actually graduated summa cum laude, not magna cum laude, which is really kind of thrilling. So, I guess I really know Jesus, huh?  (But what the school doesn’t know is that I am tossing out about 85% of what they thought they taught me and am starting my own ministry, but I just wanted to know for certain what I didn’t believe and why I didn’t believe it, and for that, divinity school was a unique success!)

On that happy note, I gotta get ready for a conference call here and find out what new hair-tearing rewrites await me for the month of February.  Have a great Saturday, gang, wherever you are and whatever potential terrors you’re staring down!! Thanks for visiting, see ya!

zpanic

 

 

Bliss and more bliss!

Even though I still work 17 million day jobs, now that I’m out of school, life feels like a veritable daily vacation!

And even though I currently have 4 active writing projects going on right now, yesterday I started writing a new novel! Yay!

It’s a project that I’ve been making notes on for a few years already (The Tea Cozy Murder Club: A Murder at Parson’s Ridge —  a cozy mystery), and I even have a producer in L.A. who is interested in the TV-movie version (which I will write afterwards, when I only have 16 and a 1/2 million day jobs and twenty or so other writing projects in the works… ha ha ha). (However, anyone who knows me, knows, that it so ME! As soon as my plate is cleared of one thing, 17 trillion more projects plop down on top of it!) (An additional “‘however”, however, is that I am gradually getting to that blissful place where my life is just plain simpler: cats, writing, nature, trips to the city, ministry, and someone to love.)

But, anyway!

Yes! Life is so good!! I am sure that 2015 will be a banner year for everyone. I have plans to be very peaceful tonight. A few phone calls to make in order to catch up with some folks, but mostly, I plan on just writing, doing a little yoga, hanging out with the cats. Listening to Ella Fitzgerald while making an awesome dinner for myself! (Yes, I do that, too — I love to cook, even for one, although I prefer two.)

Okay, my blessings go out to all of you to have a wonderful and meaningful time, ringing in 2015, wherever you are and whatever you’re doing. Thanks for visiting, gang! I’ll see ya in the New Year! [And I leave you with this mighty, mighty piece of bliss!! Enjoy it by candlelight with someone you love… See ya!)

This could be the last time you see me for a while…

Naturally, now that I am in my final course of school, preparing to graduate, it is clearly going to be one of the most time-consuming courses I’ve taken so far.  So much reading and writing that it won’t be funny, gang. Luckily, I’ll get one week off for Thanksgiving, but other than that, I don’t know if you’ll see me here or not over the next several weeks.

After that, I will graduate and then have time to start going through all my belongings, throwing out what I don’t absolutely need, and then packing up all the rest of it, preparing for my next long-distance move.

The trip to NYC last week got cancelled at the last minute, due to a death in the actress’s family down in D.C. I was disappointed, but soon enough, I will be back there permanently. For now, we are working on Skype until the airfares go back down again after the holidays.

I know I keep telling you how excited I am to be working on this project, but I must say it once again: I am so excited to be working on this theater project!! Yesterday when we were Skyping, I found out that I already know the director (I never worked with him, but I lived in the same apartment building as he and his wife for many years.) And I know the stage manager — to put it mildly. It is my ex-husband! I said, “You’re kidding??!! Wayne is the stage manager?” He is perfectly suited to that role, btw, and he and I still get along really well, so, wow, what a cozy little group. The only people I don’t know yet are the music director and the agent who’s repping it.

Between Skyping every Wednesday now with the actress, and Skyping every Saturday with Kevin (my writing partner in Brooklyn, on a different project), and this colossal ton of homework required for my final class, and my regular ton of part-time jobs… it leaves little brain-space for the re-writes of the TV pilot, but I still manage to squeeze it in. Even though all of this stuff is really exciting, it is stressful and leads to lack of sleep and to depression. I sure do wish I didn’t have to work quite so many part-time jobs.  But the end is in sight.  Soon enough I will be able to concentrate on my ministry and my writing — and my new/old relationship with my guy-friend back in New York.

I just have to keep hanging in there. My depression is very low-grade at this point and I know that as things progress and change and end and new beginnings begin, the depression will evaporate. So, on that happy note, I’m gonna scoot and start reading the SEVENTEEN (!!!!) (yep — 17) chapters in my textbooks that I need to write papers on this weekend.

Oh, btw, here’s my theme song! It gets me through. Give it a try, it might help you, too!!

All righty!! See ya, gang. Thank you so much for visiting!

 

What a welcome surprise!!

Yes, by that, I mean that I basically have the whole day off. I only have about 75 minutes’ worth of work to do (meaning work I do to get paid), and then the rest of the day is MINE!!

And best yet, I cleaned the whole house yesterday, did all the laundry on Saturday, and so I have no chores I need to do, either. Plus, I don’t have anymore homework due for school until Wednesday.

So. Methinks today will be all about doing my own writing, taking a walk (it’s a gorgeous day here again), playing with the cats, baking something autumnally aromatic; just stuff that I love doing.

Speaking quickly of cats… I have to report that those Brewer’s yeast tablets I began giving all of them earlier this summer have given them really gorgeous coats.  They shed less and their colors really pop. The tabbies’ coats look particularly  incredible — the black and tan are all marble-y and have such a bright sheen. And the ginger cats are super ginger-y.  When I took Bunny to the vet a couple weeks ago, the vet said, “She’s either really good at cleaning herself or you’re doing a great grooming job.” (I do try to comb her once a day, but I think it’s more those Brewer’s yeast tablets, to be honest. I didn’t say that to the vet, though. I let Bunny get all the credit.) Here’s a shot of Lucie, who is notoriously difficult to get a photo of — more proof that today is just an incredible day, gang!

Lucie in her shiny coat!
Lucie just moments ago,  in her shiny coat! Although it doesn’t look particularly shiny in this photo! I am just thrilled I got her on film, finally. She is super camera shy.

On the writing front: I am halfway done with a new outline for the TV pilot. I should complete it today. (The plot remains essentially the same, it’s just being told from a different character’s perspective and that shift of POV really made the story come alive emotionally.)

As far as baking goes: So far this fall, I’ve baked oatmeal raisin bars, two pumpkin pies, a squash cake with chocolate chips & pecans that was to die for!! (I baked an acorn squash and pureed it, seasoning it and using it like you would a pumpkin. ) If I bake something today, it might be cranberry-nut bread. Not sure yet, though.

Here I am, baking up a storm! I appear to be baking a cocoanut still in its shell. A delicacy the world over. Not sure who the little girl is -- she just wandered in.
Here I am, baking up a storm! I appear to be baking a coconut still in its shell. A delicacy the world over. Not sure who the little girl is — she just wandered in. But I let her stay because she clearly adored me. Plus, she washed the dishes.

All righty, gang! I gotta scoot and do that 75 minutes of work! Thanks for visiting! Oh — forgot to mention that I went to see St. Vincent over the weekend and really liked it a lot. Bill Murray, Melissa McCarthy, Chris O’Dowd, and Naomi Watts are all splendid, along with a great little newcomer, Jaeden Lieberher. Terrence Howard also has a nice role as the reluctant goon. The film was beautiful, funny, poignant, uplifting.  Here’s the trailer.

Okay! Have a great Monday, gang. See ya!

What’s wrong with this picture?

One of my friend’s signed up at oDesk and eLance recently because she needed to drum up more work. Now, I am the kind of writer who always needs to drum up more money; I never need to drum up more work!

But sometimes (okay — frequently) I forget this!

Yesterday, after I came home from a freelance editing job, and while I was organizing the homework assignments I had to write for this week, and after I had talked to the actress in NYC again about nailing down the flight I needed to take to get to NYC and begin working on the original off-Broadway musical, and while staring at the piles of notes I had for my screenplay re-writes with Kevin in Brooklyn, and from the producer in L.A. for the TV series we’re trying to develop, and while thinking about the new book I wanted to write (a fun murder mystery that I think will be a blast! I already have a producer interested in a holiday screen adaptation for women’s television), I thought to myself: You know, I ought to sign up at oDesk and eLance, too, and try to make some more money…

So sign up, I did!That’s right!

But then, as my head hit the pillow last night, I thought to myself: How bizarre! What the heck is the matter with you? When do you think you’re actually going to be able to do anyone else’s writing and still have time for your own???

So I un-signed up this morning.

Why is it that it is so hard for writers to consistently earn enough money to live on and still write creatively (as opposed to hired-and-sometimes-hack work that other people can’t or won’t do)? It has plagued me throughout my entire career, and I’ve been a professional writer now for 25 years. Sometimes the money is great. Sometimes it stays consistently good for a good chunk of time. Then it disappears entirely and you resort to prayer. Then, happily, it picks up again. Sometimes, it even snowballs into more money than you’ve ever seen, but I haven’t experienced that. Yet. (You’ll notice, though, that as a recently ordained minister, I have made resorting to prayer part of my full-time job! I am really, really good at resorting to prayer. However, that said, I have also gotten really good at standing back and letting prayers be answered, left, right, and center. It had a lot to do with this stuff –click link & scroll down– and it took years to master it. And some days, I don’t master it at all.)

I honestly think that you’ve got to be happy. It is imperative. Do only what makes you happy — and you might be surprised at what types of little jobs might make you happy. I know I’ve surprised myself over the years. (4 years ago, I said yes to a 2-hour cleaning job without knowing it meant I would be working for this company and that, as a writer, it would open all kinds of doors for me and turn my life around.) Make yourself happy and then the other stuff that comes to you makes you, surprisingly, even happier. But sometimes you have to really wait.  And that “waiting” part is when a whole lot of people just give up, turn around and go home. (i.e., “do stuff they hate.”)

I don’t think that writers are going to get paid what they’re worth in this lifetime. A small few will — but it’s fewer and fewer all the time. However, you can at least make enough to live a fulfilled and happy life.   And, really, I believe that’s what we’re here for. When we’re fulfilled and happy, we do astounding things that can’t help but have a beneficial trickle-down effect for everybody.

On that happy note, I gotta scoot!! Have a terrific Wednesday, wherever you are and whatever happy thing you’re doing!! Thanks for visiting, gang. See ya.

[One of my all-time favorite films. Who knew it would be part of my destiny, kind of??]