My new “go to” when the brain is trying to surface!!

May 3, 2026 marilyn jaye lewis 2 Comments

For some reason, I just love that ad (above). The energy of it. And it reminds me of all the times I’ve made great progress — here at this very desk, in this very Old House — writing.

A not-so-long-ago time of my life that I want to return to now at all times…

I never actually smoked Pall Malls, although my parents did in our first house in Cleveland. Then they switched to Larks:

And of course Eddie Van Halen (or at least his guitar) famously smoked Pall Malls:

And my birth mom still smokes Pall Malls, which is why there was a pack of them that I found in a kitchen drawer in this old house, several years ago, when I was craving an unlit cigarette that I could snap the filter off of and then sit with at my desk, and write….

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Wait!

First of all, I have to say THIS:

I did get a text from my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man’s daughter yesterday and she is not — AT THIS TIME — planning to put him in a nursing home!!! Those plans are on hold, sort of indefinitely.

Yay!!

Which means that many more tiny vodka cocktails are in our (his) future!!

Yesterday, his wooden leg was being wonky again so we didn’t go out for sashimi & sake (he’s getting a brand new leg on Tuesday). And late in my shift, he was sort of staring at the little end table next to his recliner, where upon there were 2 unopened bottles of protein drinks, some Greek yogurt, an organic ham sandwich, and a little bowl of organic non-GMO potato chips…and the little framed photo of his dad in Tokyo in 1957.

ME: “Are you looking for something?”

HE: “A gallon of vodka.”

So I promptly went to the fridge and got him about an ounce of the Smirnoff pre-mixed cocktail thingie that he loves. And he was delighted.

He also had great mental clarity yesterday, although, sadly, it was about his private nurse:

HE: “What’s going on with Annie? Is she still in the hospital?”

His daughter will be telling him the sad news later today, so I just said that I didn’t know. But I was so relieved that he remembered her name and that she’s been gone for a couple of weeks now.

So, overall, it was a great day but emotionally, I was still worn out.

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Okay.

Here’s this!

I was lying in bed this morning with my coffee. A few of the cats were on the bed with me, happily dozing. The sun was up and it was a beautiful Sunday morning.

Then I heard something clutter to the floor, so I sat up in bed and disturbed all the furry slumberers. But discovered that Calico had selected some reading materials for us from the bookshelf!!

Princess perusing our reading materials for today, selected by Calico.

The Stoned Apocalypse, an erotic classic about the 1960s by Marco Vassi, 1993 edition from Masquerade Books.

The Sick Bag Song by Nick Cave, hard cover, 2014 (and I was, you know, absolutely stunned that this book has been out for 12 years already. Christ. Where does the fucking time go??? But what a great book.)

And the navy blue book is a journal that I bought at the Kirtland Temple in 2018, when I was friends with 2 wonderful young Mormon missionaries. Two blonde girls, from out-of-State.

Original Mormon church from the 1830s, near Cleveland

The Kirtland Temple was incredible, btw. I am so glad I went there. But I forgot that I even had this journal. I opened it and on the inside cover, I’d written that Gus Van Sant, Sr. had died on Jan. 13, 2022. And I had also scribbled the Portuguese chorus from Nick Cave’s stunning song “Foi Na Cruz”.

In the actual journal, on the opening page, I’d written “January 2, 2020” but the entry itself is torn out.

And then the next page is from January 6, 2022, and it is one line from the poem “You, Dr. Martin” by Anne Sexton:

From breakfast to madness

And the rest of the journal that I’d forgotten I even had is totally blank!

And then as I was putting the books back on the bookshelf, right next to where the forgotten journal had been sitting was a composition theme notebook, so I pulled that out and discovered it was filled with all sorts of notes from plays and screenplays I was working on in 2014!!

Oh my god! So many incredible backstory notes for “Cleveland’s Burning” — a TV pilot that was in development forever with Bohemia Group Originals out in LA, until it came to a screeching halt with the scamdemic.

And then — I am not exagerrating (although I am misspelling “exaggerating”) — there were amazing scribbled notes for my in-progress play about the historical Jesus — “The Gospel According to Caiaphas”!! A play that is heavily influenced by Tom Stoppard’s 1967 masterpiece, “Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead.”

Crap, you know??? When am I going to get all this stuff done??

I’m guessing there are no amount of Pall Malls in the world that can give me actual TIME, but once I get the time, here’s hoping they will still be manufacturing Pall Malls.

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Well, okay.

Other interesting news– apparently my press release for the upcoming release of my forever-in-progress-but-finally-published novel The Curse of Our Profound Disorder, was also picked up by the Columbus Dispatch!!

Yes!! The main newspaper of the city of my rather un-illustrious birth to a 13-year-old Pall Mall-smoking girl!!

Wow. I was kinda stunned to see that. But I figured, you know, my feelings about Columbus and all the terrible things that happened to me there aside, I should probably send that newspaper a review copy…

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Okay.

I do have to get some stuff done around here before I head out to see the retired Minister and his wife and lovely cat.

So, here’s this!!

Bob Dylan!! Photographed by Bent Raj at Kronborg Castle in Elsinore, May 1st, 1966. Smoking! In black & white!

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And here’s this!!

2 of my intensely influential literary influences, together in Greenwich Village, NYC, in 1969!!

Patti Smith and Jim Carroll, on Minetta Street!!

(A street that became my stomping ground in 1982. There was a very small folk club there that’s gone now, but I used to hang out there all the time. In fact, the very first time I played “She Ain’t No Virgin At All” — alone with my guitar, I had just written the song the night before — was in that little club on Minetta Street. AND! In 1984, when I brought the demo of the song to the songwriting class I was taking with Jim Carroll at the West Side Y, and he played the tape in class, he said: “I have no advice for this. This song is perfect.” Below is that demo.)

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And here’s Keith smiling onstage, in a blue shirt!

And Keith onstage in 1975 (that Holy Year of Our Lord), in a mostly red shirt!

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And as luck would have it–

I was looking through all the movies I have in my Amazon Prime account last evening, and when I came upon “20,000 Days On Earth” — the Nick Cave film from, yes, 2014!! — which I’ve watched about 3 times, but it’s been a while since I last watched it, and I was thinking that I’d really like to watch that again…

Anyway, this still from one of my favorite scenes from that film was in my hashtag feed on Instagram this morning!

Methinks I’ll probably start watching it again tonight!

And here’s this!!

Nick Cave in the wind in Hamburg, 2024!!

Soon enough, it will be 2036, and I’ll see this photo again and I’ll think: Fuck, that was 12 years ago!! Where is the fucking time going??!!

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And with that, I think I will close and get stuff done before I have to head to town.

Enjoy your Sunday, gang, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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Let’s close with this!

I kid you not, gang, when this song came on the Oldies FM Radio Station on the retro boombox as I was making my bed this morning and was singing loudly along to the chorus, the cats came prancing in with their tails up high and they just seemed so frisky and happy. I think they really liked the feel of the chorus to this wonderful song!!

From 1984, by Jon Parr, “St. Elmo’s Fire (Man in Motion)”. Theme song from the movie, “St. Elmo’s Fire.” Enjoy, gang!! We sure did!!

“St. Elmo’s Fire (Man In Motion)”

Growin’ up
You don’t see the writing on the wall
Passin’ by
Movin’ straight ahead, you knew it all

But maybe sometime if you feel the pain
You’ll find you’re all alone
Everything has changed

Play the game
You know you can’t quit until it’s won
Soldier on
Only you can do what must be done

You know in some way
You’re a lot like me
You’re just a prisoner
And you’re tryin’ to break free

I can see a new horizon
Underneath the blazin’ sky
I’ll be where the eagle’s flyin’
Higher and higher

Gonna be your man in motion
All I need’s this pair of wheels
Take me where the future’s lyin’
St. Elmo’s Fire, ooh

Burnin’ up
Don’t know just how far that I can go (Just how far I go)
Soon be home
Only just a few miles down the road

I can make it
I know I can
You broke the boy in me
But you won’t break the man

I can see a new horizon
Underneath the blazin’ sky
I’ll be where the eagle’s flyin’
Higher and higher

Gonna be your man in motion
All I need’s this pair of wheels
Take me where my future’s lyin’
St. Elmo’s Fire

I can climb the highest mountain
Cross the wildest sea
I can feel St. Elmo’s Fire
Burnin’ in me, burnin’ in me

Just once in his life
A man has his time
And my time is now
I’m comin’ alive

I can hear the music playin’
I can see the banners fly
Feel like your man again
And hope ridin’ high

Gonna be your man in motion
All I need’s this pair of wheels
Take me where my future’s lyin’
St. Elmo’s Fire

I can see a new horizon
Underneath the blazin’ sky
I’ll be where the eagle’s flyin’
Higher and higher

Gonna be your man in motion
All I need’s this pair of wheels
Take me where the future’s lyin’
St. Elmo’s Fire

I can climb the highest mountain
Cross the wildest sea
I can feel St. Elmo’s Fire burnin’ in me

Burnin’
Burnin’ in me
I can feel it burnin’
Ooh, burnin’ inside of me

c – 1984 Jon Stephen Parr

Hoping this is on the horizon today!

May 2, 2026 marilyn jaye lewis Leave a comment

The weather is very sunny today but still really cold.

Nevertheless, my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man and I decided yesterday to go out for sashimi & sake today. Now that his private nurse is gone, he hasn’t been out for lunch since he and I went to the golf course last Friday.

When I’m around him, it’s easy to get my energy into a good place and keep things upbeat and happy, so I’m looking forward to going out with him today if he feels up to it. But I have to say, gang, that on a deep level, it feels to me like everything has changed.

The feeling of loss is like a blanket over everything in that house now. He knows something is missing but he doesn’t know what. He also knows that something big in his life has changed forever. He doesn’t remember his private nurse’s name, or who she was, or anything like that — he only knows that there was a girl who used to come see him but that she had to go to the hospital.

His daughter is going to tell him everything when she sees him in person, tomorrow.

Since his daughter has been texting me the last couple of days about her upcoming trip, I finally decided to just text her this morning and ask her if she’s planning to put her dad into a nursing home soon. I want to start getting the hanging flower baskets for his back deck, but it’s a lot of money to spend if he won’t be there much longer.

We’ll see what she replies. But I’m thinking that I already know what she’s going to say.

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On a happier front…

It looks like Rasha’s mom and her little baby will be staying here, to take care of Rasha and all the other cats, while I’m in NYC.

This is such a relief to me. I’ve been worried that all these cats now — including Rasha, who is still unwell — will be too much for my birth mom to really handle, even though she’s happy to do it. (My birth mom is 79 now.)

I feel so much better about this arrangement, though. Because the girl knows full well that Rasha is sick, since Rasha is her cat. It’s not going to be any sort of unhappy surprise for her.

And I also talked to a friend of mine yesterday about her and her husband staying here the last weekend of September, when I go to North Carolina for James Tabor’s conference thingie. They had offered to cat-sit before, so she’s thinking they probably will.

And by September, Rasha’s mom should be in her own place and able to take Rasha back. So that is potentially another huge relief.

Now all I want is for my birth mom to just come out here and visit for a few days, just to hang out again. To smoke and drink beer (her, not me).

What I would really like her to do at this point is answer her phone... she’s not a really big phone-answering kinda gal.

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Anyway.

So there’s good stuff going on and sad stuff going on. But meanwhile, here’s this!

If you’re too young to know that Patti Hansen used to be not only a top super model in the late 70s, early 80s, she also had a reputation for being a real party girl!! (To me, she always just seemed like a down-to-earth girl from Staten Island.) It did not surprise me a bit that Keith fell in love with her.

Anyway! Here they are in 1981, and Patti does not seem to be in any way intoxicated!!

And here’s this!

Keith smoking in 1972, maybe overdoing the guitar thing a little bit…

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And here’s this!

Nick Cave!

I’m thinking “just out of the shower” but not 100% sure:

I’m also thinking the reason my really cool Tom Petty zippo lighter has not arrived yet is because they sent it to Nick Cave!! (Not 100% sure on that, either, just thinkin’…)

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And that’s it.

I guess I better get moving here and plan on having a great day, come what may!

Enjoy your Saturday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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Let’s close with this!

Something else that reminds me of the old New York…with the old skyline and everything.

“The Critic” is also free now on Tubi!! I loved this show. I’d forgotten all about it! (From 1994-95.) Enjoy, gang.

A happy May Day to one and all!

May 1, 2026 marilyn jaye lewis Leave a comment

If you are a long-time reader of this lofty blog, you no doubt recall that, in honor of Elvis’s marriage to Priscilla, Wayne and I also got married on May 1st!! (Elvis’s wedding day, about 25 years earlier.) (And we walked down the aisle to “Hawaiian Wedding Song” from Elvis’s movie, “Blue Hawaii”.)

So here’s this!

33 years ago today! When I was still very much a brunette and Wayne still had all his hair! (The bride & groom decoration on top of the cake was from my maternal adoptive grandparents’ 50th Wedding Anniversary cake in 1977. I still have it.) (The decoration, not the cake.)

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Wow, gang, so yesterday was another incredible day for me.

I discovered that on the Internet Archives, they have now added both the Masquerade Books 1st trade edition and the Blue Moon mass market 1st edition of Neptune & Surf!!

This just thrills me, gang, because now not only can you read Neptune & Surf online for FREE (these are not eBooks, these are the pages of the actual books), my beloved first book will also live on sort of indefinitely for all time.

You can find them HERE.

And FYI, Internet Archives currently has 6 of my books in the archives that you can read for free. Plus a few erotica anthologies that have some of my stories in them.

But this next part almost blew me away even more yesterday — and it can be found at the same link.

It’s a podcast from France, in French –it was uploaded to the Archive July 1, 2017 — where the podcaster discusses the 2nd French edition of Neptune & Surf.

The 2nd edition was titled, Sex In America [<– AmazonUS link] and was published by La Musardine, Paris, in 2011.

Her beautiful forward to the podcast reads:

Sex in America, mon coup de coeur du moment ! Non vraiment, mon seul regret c’est que l’autrice n’ait pas écrit beaucoup car perso, je lis sans hésiter n’importe quel autre de ses ouvrages. Alors pourquoi ce coup de coeur ? L’écriture me plaît, comment la décrire … Je dirais que l’autrice a l’art de vous emmener, de vous immerger dans le monde qu’elle raconte. Oui, car elle raconte des mondes, des époques.

Translation: "Sex in America, my current favorite! No, really—my only regret is that the author hasn’t written very much, because personally, I would read any of her other works without hesitation. So, why did this one capture my heart? I love the writing style—how to describe it? I would say the author possesses a gift for sweeping you away, for immersing you in the world she portrays. Yes, for she tells tales of worlds—of entire eras."

Honestly, it just blew me away. And the podcast has already been streamed in the Archives 7,566 times!!

And it’s been up there for 9 years already. In French, no less!

And I just had absolutely no clue until I found it yesterday, basically by accident.

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Okay.

On a totally different topic.

From James Tabor yeseterday:

“In this video I invite you to join me in an interactive test of when and how AI can go wrong dealing with Historical Research.”

When AI Gets History Wrong (33 mins):

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All righty!!

Here’s this!

A great shot of Roy Orbison in a UK hotel, in 1964!

And here’s this! I love this song! But who doesn’t?? “Only the Lonely”, 1960:

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And I guess since it’s May Day, all my hashtag streams on Instagram updated because there were a ton of photos on there that I hadn’t seen before!!

But first, here’s this!

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A couple of gorgeous shots of Keith!!

By Annie Leibovitz, 1975:

In NY, 1988:

And a photo by Fernando Aceves, 1995:

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And some great ones of Nick Cave, which I’ve actually seen before but they haven’t popped up in my stream in, like, years.

Nick in Paris, April, 1997:

Nick in April, 1992:

And Nick Cave, more recently, but I don’t know the actual year:

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And with that….

I will add before closing and heading to town, I did spend a good amount of time on the short story yesterday. I did not finish it, because now I’m not sure if I want it to be a short story or a novella.

I just don’t know. I don’t think it’s working as a short story.

But I still have a few more days to work with it and maybe make it work as a short story, assuming I can get time to focus on it before the deadline.

I guess we’ll see.

And today, I’m back with my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man, but now I have stuff to do that the private nurse used to do: pick up his prescription at the pharmacy, and get his hearing aid batteries, and also locate the office of his primary care physician, which I know is near the hospital but that’s all I know.

If he doesn’t want to run these errands with me and wait in the car (it’s cold today and sort of rainy), I’ll go by myself. If he does want to come with me then we’ll go have sashimi & sake after the errands and behave like our old selves!! We shall see.