Tag Archives: family

Hoping this is on the horizon today!

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The weather is very sunny today but still really cold.

Nevertheless, my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man and I decided yesterday to go out for sashimi & sake today. Now that his private nurse is gone, he hasn’t been out for lunch since he and I went to the golf course last Friday.

When I’m around him, it’s easy to get my energy into a good place and keep things upbeat and happy, so I’m looking forward to going out with him today if he feels up to it. But I have to say, gang, that on a deep level, it feels to me like everything has changed.

The feeling of loss is like a blanket over everything in that house now. He knows something is missing but he doesn’t know what. He also knows that something big in his life has changed forever. He doesn’t remember his private nurse’s name, or who she was, or anything like that — he only knows that there was a girl who used to come see him but that she had to go to the hospital.

His daughter is going to tell him everything when she sees him in person, tomorrow.

Since his daughter has been texting me the last couple of days about her upcoming trip, I finally decided to just text her this morning and ask her if she’s planning to put her dad into a nursing home soon. I want to start getting the hanging flower baskets for his back deck, but it’s a lot of money to spend if he won’t be there much longer.

We’ll see what she replies. But I’m thinking that I already know what she’s going to say.

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On a happier front…

It looks like Rasha’s mom and her little baby will be staying here, to take care of Rasha and all the other cats, while I’m in NYC.

This is such a relief to me. I’ve been worried that all these cats now — including Rasha, who is still unwell — will be too much for my birth mom to really handle, even though she’s happy to do it. (My birth mom is 79 now.)

I feel so much better about this arrangement, though. Because the girl knows full well that Rasha is sick, since Rasha is her cat. It’s not going to be any sort of unhappy surprise for her.

And I also talked to a friend of mine yesterday about her and her husband staying here the last weekend of September, when I go to North Carolina for James Tabor’s conference thingie. They had offered to cat-sit before, so she’s thinking they probably will.

And by September, Rasha’s mom should be in her own place and able to take Rasha back. So that is potentially another huge relief.

Now all I want is for my birth mom to just come out here and visit for a few days, just to hang out again. To smoke and drink beer (her, not me).

What I would really like her to do at this point is answer her phone... she’s not a really big phone-answering kinda gal.

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Anyway.

So there’s good stuff going on and sad stuff going on. But meanwhile, here’s this!

If you’re too young to know that Patti Hansen used to be not only a top super model in the late 70s, early 80s, she also had a reputation for being a real party girl!! (To me, she always just seemed like a down-to-earth girl from Staten Island.) It did not surprise me a bit that Keith fell in love with her.

Anyway! Here they are in 1981, and Patti does not seem to be in any way intoxicated!!

And here’s this!

Keith smoking in 1972, maybe overdoing the guitar thing a little bit…

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And here’s this!

Nick Cave!

I’m thinking “just out of the shower” but not 100% sure:

I’m also thinking the reason my really cool Tom Petty zippo lighter has not arrived yet is because they sent it to Nick Cave!! (Not 100% sure on that, either, just thinkin’…)

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And that’s it.

I guess I better get moving here and plan on having a great day, come what may!

Enjoy your Saturday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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Let’s close with this!

Something else that reminds me of the old New York…with the old skyline and everything.

“The Critic” is also free now on Tubi!! I loved this show. I’d forgotten all about it! (From 1994-95.) Enjoy, gang.

So this is where THAT’S going

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A grey Tuesday morning here in the Hinterlands. It’s supposed to get sunny later. We’ll see.

But my overall mood — I’m really battling an entire brain full of grey rain.

Yesterday afternoon, my wonderful day off came to a screeching halt when I got a phone call from Seattle. It was my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man’s daughter. She has never called me before — she rarely even texts me. She had awful news — and she was just as shocked by the news as I was.

Her dad’s private nurse — who has been with the family for 6 or 7 years now (she was the private nurse for his 2nd wife when she got ill), and who has had “health problems” for the last week or so, is dying.

As in — in hospice already, in a coma, with only a few days left to live.

I had no clue she had cancer. She’s about 20 years younger than me, and always seemed full of energy and life.

So, not only am I stunned that I will never see or speak to her again, but it also sounds like I’m going to be needed to pick up more responsibilities — time-wise — with my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man, and even though he matters so much to me, I am just not prepared to take on anything else. I’ve been aiming all my energy and attention at the writing projects.

We shall see.

I immediately called my supervisor at the Agency yesterday and asked her to please start lining up some additional caregivers for him. But since this is catching us all out of the blue, I might have to pick up some extra hours until the schedules can be arranged. I will find out more later today. But I have been praying, gang, that they find people right away, even though, obviously if they need me, I won’t say no.

The daughter is flying in from Seattle on Sunday, just for 2 days, and she hopes to take her dad to say goodbye to the nurse, if she is still alive by then.

I’m also worried that with the nurse gone now, and since she oversaw his meds, his doctor appointments, his trips to the barber, his lawncare service, etc., there’s even more reasons for the daughter to put him in a nursing home now.

I’m really trying to just sort of ignore everything I’m feeling and just see where everything falls. I think it’s called avoidance, but it’s almost the best I can do right now.

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Meanwhile, before I forget.

A continued thank-you to everyone who is buying 1954 Powder Blue Pickup.

After all these years of watching it sort of float out there in limbo, it really makes me feel so happy to see people have access to it again.

If you missed my post yesterday, I believe the eBook edition is free to download all this week, with or without Kindle Unlimited.

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That’s really kind of it for my brain right now, so here are few “here’s this’s”.

The beautiful Charlie Watts at Villa Nellcote in 1971, during the recording of an album that certainly changed my 12-year-old life forever: Exile On Main St.

And I’m not kidding you when I say that I actually have the very same creamer that’s on the table there. It’s by Johnson Brothers/Wedgewood Group. Back then, the dishes were made in England. (I have the whole set, service for 8.) (I’m a dish-a-holic, if you’re new to the blog. I live alone and yet have more fine china than you can possibly imagine.)

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A very early shot of Keith! 1963:

And then a few years later… he switched out wearing the watch for a pair of handcuffs:

And here’s Keith with Robbie Shakespeare and Sly Dunbar, the greatest reggae rhythm duo that ever lived:

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Oh!

Here’s Cuddles McGee this morning, looking out the bedroom window:

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And some more wonderful old photos of Nick Cave.

A multi-patterned Nick in London, 1989:

I don’t know where or when or photo-by-whom, but I love this:

And this one is by Mike Owen:

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And that’s it for now.

My best friend Valerie in Brooklyn and I had a great phone chat yesterday — before the call from Seattle came in.

We are aiming to start the mini-podcast of “Marilyn’s Room” in mid-May. And we’re hoping to have 2 if not 3 episodes out there before I leave for NYC in mid-June. We might even try to do a mini-podcast from my hotel room in NYC, or someplace where we can be in the same room together while we tape it.

That’s the plan, anyway. (And wow, did she tell me a really fun story from the early 80s that she’d never told me about!!! It involved Debbie Harry!!)

So even though I’ve known Val since 1983, there are still great stories for me to hear, too!

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Okay.

I gotta put on my “I’m happy and here to help you” face and scoot to town to see my clients for today.

Have a terrific Tuesday, wherever you are in the world, gang.

Thanks for visiting. (And for buying my books. It means so much to me.)

I love you guys. See ya!

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Let’s close with this.

The awesome Debbie Harry, onstage with Blondie — 1978!

“One Way or Another”. Enjoy, gang.

You guessed it! Absolutely NOT me!

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I’m really trying though, gang. To find that inner peace this morning.

And yesterday was a very good day with my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man. I’m hoping today will be the same. (See yesterday’s post.)

Yesterday, we went out for sashimi and sake, and a strange thing happened when the fortune cookies arrived. We both got the same fortune — but his had a typo in it:

When I got to his house yesterday morning, before I woke him, I set out a really cool old photo of his dad, from 1957. Small. About 5 x 7. It’s in a lovely old frame, too. I set it on the small table next to his recliner.

I found the photo in his dining room, but it was stuck back behind a bunch of larger photos, so you couldn’t even see it.

Anyway. When he discovered this photo next to his chair, it absolutely delighted him. (His dad is 88 years old in the photo. His dad was 60 years old when my favorite Japanese man was born.)

Honestly, this photo made his day. He kept holding it and staring at it. (If I remember, I’ll try to get a photo of the photo today and post it here. His dad is standing on the front porch of that house he designed that is a House Museum in Tokyo now.)

I also told him that next Friday is supposed to be a really gorgeous Spring day. And since the trees everywhere are now getting their bright green leaves that he loves, the views at the clubhouse at the golf course should be beautiful.

But it’s also going to be April 17th next Friday. And I reminded him that both his second wife (the love of his life) and my dad died on April 17th (several years apart). So I suggested we go have lunch at the golf course in honor of that — and that most likely the Spirits of his wife and my dad will join us for lunch.

This idea basically overwhelmed him with joy.

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All righty.

From the RollingStonesBrasil channel a few minutes ago on Instagram. This is in translation mode:

There was also a very, very short audio snippet from the new Stones single posted to “the Cockroaches” WhatsApp but now I can’t find it! But it sounded really good — even though it was only about 5 seconds.

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Okay!!

The print edition of my 2011 novel, Twilight of the Immortal is indeed back in print, at least on Amazon.

This is the same edition that had been up there for, I guess, 15 years, but for some reason, had suddenly un-published itself when I republished the eBook edition. Anyway. It’s back. But it is a little cheaper now: $15 plus shipping.

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And here’s a curious — but really nice — thing.

In the 15 years that I have been self-publishing, my best friend Valerie in Brooklyn has designed a lot of my book covers (including the one above, based on a photo of the Silent Film actress, Bebe Daniels, in 1921).

But for whatever reason, Valerie hasn’t actually read most of my books. And this goes way back to the beginning of my career in short story & fiction publishing — 1988. (Valerie and I have known each other, in every sense of the word, since 1982.)

I had asked her recently (“begged” is probably a better word) to please read The Curse of Our Profound Disorder, because I wanted to enter it into literary contests and I couldn’t figure out what category it goes in. I had sent her the Word file for it several months ago, but she never read it.

So she promised to read it and, last evening, she sent a text saying, in part: “Wow, Emmy!! The writing is incredible!!”

That made me feel incredible.

So yesterday was a pretty okay day, on many levels.

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Okay.

Here’s this.

George Harrison doing his Krishna thing:

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And from Dana Petty, posted late last night. (And according to old interviews with Tom, Dana — his second wife! — was also the love of his life. He adored that woman so much. They married after she helped him quit heroin.)

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And here’s this!

The Ramones. No explanation needed.

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And here’s this!

Johnny Thunders. Probably no explanation needed here, either.

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And here’s this from my private desktop stash. Just because my soul needed this kind of inspiration this morning.

Nick Cave. I don’t remember when, where, or photo-by-whom. I just love it.

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And that is it for now.

Tomorrow, I’m taking the day off because I’m taking that screenwriting webinar in the late afternoon. So that means 2 days off in a row again. Yay! (However, an “AC install fire drill” is scheduled to happen on Monday at 8AM…)

At some point, I will also be catching up with Sandra to see where we’re at with (all 3 of) our current projects (TV, theater, movie). (I’m guessing that she will call as soon as the AC install guys actually show up…)

Meanwhile, enjoy your Saturday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya.

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Let’s close with this. Just because it suits my mood.

Me. Song written in 1984. Demo from 1994. Enjoy, gang.

Mother with the Gun

It’s been so long
Since I held my man
In my arms without a fire in my head;
It’s been so long
Since I laid with him
Side by side without the rage of one regret.

CHORUS I
I had this dream that I took all I could take
Pulled a .38 and blew my man away
And both our kids had seen
What I had done
And the Press called me the ‘Mother with the Gun.’

It’s been so long
Since I earned my pay
Without feeling I’d been chained down 
to the ground;
It’s been so long
Since I made my way
Sure and proud without
The shame of kneeling down.

CHORUS II
I had this dream that I took all I could take
Pulled a .38 and blew my boss away
And both my kids had seen
What I had done
And the Press called me the ‘Mother with the Gun.’

It’s been so long, now
Since I’ve been old enough
I’ve got the wisdom that you get
From bearing pain;
But now my kids it seems
Just make the same mistakes;
Will I sit back and watch it
All go down again?

CHORUS III
I had this dream that I took all I could take
I called an agency and gave my kids away
I signed a paper to ensure we’d stay apart
And the Man called me the mother with no heart.
I had this dream that I took all I could take
And I woke up this morning feeling far away
And there’s a man fading with the setting sun
His voice is shouting, “Come on, lady, drop the gun…”

© 1984 Marilyn Jaye Lewis
First of May Songs, BMI

Happy Easter! Happy Birthday!!

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For some inexplicable reason, I slept in until 5:38AM today!!

And of all the mornings to oversleep — the kittens’ birthday today and Easter Sunday!

But a good time was had by all. The Happy Birthday breakfast (or “Happy Easter”, if you didn’t turn 1 today!):

4 out of the 6 pictured here have a birthday today!
And it’s Billie Jo’s birthday today, too, but she likes to eat off by herself in the family room, so that other ravenous cats don’t steal her food! (She’s the one who was born without her 2 back feet.)

And apparently my 14-year-old cats, who had birthdays on St. Patrick’s Day and who spend most of their time in the guest bedroom upstairs, liked their Easter breakfast just fine!!

And then the birthday toys came out in the kitchen!

And Kon Tiki and 3 of her furry friends joined us for Easter breakfast today, out on the kitchen porch. In the dark. Serenaded by a bunch of singing birds — and the sound filled the whole village.

We also had a wonderful — and really big!! — ‘possum join us for breakfast out there, too!

All before the sun came up.

And oddly enough, even after oversleeping, I’m still exhausted! Cannot imagine why…

But it was a beautiful morning.

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And Happy Easter, if you celebrate it, gang.

James Tabor re-posted this last night. It’s difficult to listen to, if you are sort of viscerally attached to Jesus of Nazareth, the man (as I am). But it’s worth watching because of all the archeological /historical stuff. (And by “Mafia”, Tabor is referring here to the family of High Priests in Jerusalem at that time, who were hellbent on first mortifying and then executing Jesus.)

Jesus Archaeology # 13 Killing Jesus–The Mafia Backstory (29 mins):

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Yesterday was strange.

My favorite 95-year-old Japanese man’s week-long visit with his daughter was a success. But by yesterday, I knew he was exhausted and was very patiently waiting for it to be over. (She flew back home late yesterday afternoon.)

He even said as much to me — that he wanted her to go — when he and I were alone in his bedroom.

I found that part to be sort of astonishing, since his brain doesn’t work too great in the “here & now”. Yet he had enough mental faculties to express himself to me very quietly, without being rude to his daughter.

The problem was that he doesn’t like people to clean his house and his daughter would not stop cleaning. She cleaned EVERYTHING. All week long.

I understood where she was coming from emotionally, and she knew that all the cleaning was upsetting her dad, but she felt compelled to “take care of him”, in that sense.

Yesterday sort of reached the pinnacle, since it was her last day. And I spent my entire shift being cheerful and chatty and patient and supportive with each of them — trying to balance the energy between those two so that everything would stay peaceful.

Plus, she had confided in me that she is enrolling him in Hospice now, which is of course her decision and I understand why it makes sense to her, but it was really startling to me. (I’ve been with him several days a week for the past 18 months; his physical health is perfect. )

Anyway.

It was a relief to get out of there.

And from there, I went to do all the grocery shopping. Even though the stores were kind of crowded, since it was the day before Easter. But it kind of helped me clear my head.

And then, in the parking lot, while heading to my car, pushing my bags of groceries in the grocery cart, a woman who looked to be about 80, in complete distress, called out to me: “Please, please! Can you help me?”

ME (leaving my cart and going to her): “Yes I can.”

Without even knowing what she needed help with. It was just that call of distress from someone in need. Off I went.

I did eventually move my grocery cart over to my own car, and luckily what she needed help with, I was able to fix for her. (A problem with her car.)

And as I drove away, I was just sort of stunned. I was really glad that I’d been able to help her, so that she could drive herself home and feel safe and probably collapse…

…while I drove home to take care of 17 abandoned and/or rescued cats. In my 125-year-old home that through some miracle of grace, I manage to keep in really good shape…

What the fuck has my life become, right?

I was fucking exhausted.

And as I pulled up to my house, the neighbors across the road — the one who had dug my car out from under 4 feet of snow a few months ago — had no less than 10 pickup trucks parked along the side of their house. Happy guys outside, tinkering with the trucks. Kids running around, laughing, playing with toys. Obviously getting ready for Easter.

It was breathtaking, all the activity over there. And that was what I had always wanted, always assumed I would somehow have — a huge family, right?

Yesterday just wiped me out.

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However!

A great big thank you to whoever is pre-ordering The Curse of Our Profound Disorder !! It is already showing up in the sales ranking on Amazon!

I really, really appreciate it. (You can pre-order the print edition on Amazon US here, but it is available for pre-ordering at pretty much all online bookstores.)

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All righty!

Here’s this.

I’m not familiar with this photographer, but apparently she has passed away. Here are a couple of her photos, though. One of Richard Hell, and one of Iggy Pop:

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And here’s this!

A classic photo of Keith — it’s hard to see it here, but he’s wearing his “Marilyn” t-shirt:

And here’s this — no, not being taken off to jail, just being escorted through the crowd!

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And in honor of Easter!

A classic photo from yesteryear — of Nick Cave and a bunny!!

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And I believe that is it for now!

I have my shift later today with the retired Minister and his lovely wife and cat. I guess it will be an interesting way to “celebrate” Easter.

And then not only do I have tomorrow off, but also my best friend Valerie in Brooklyn and I are planning on having a catch-up chat on the phone!! Yay.

Okay. Enjoy your Easter, or have a good Sunday if you don’t celebrate Easter, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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Let’s close with this.

This is a video that I play a lot on my phone for my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man. He loves this song (and this video).

The classic from Louis Armstrong, “What a Wonderful World.” Enjoy, gang.

Gettin’ ready for summer, I guess!

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So, tomorrow!!

As part of my home improvement grant from the USDA — they are coming to install my central AC!!

They called me while I was at my shift yesterday. And they said, “Okay, we’re all set. All the paperwork’s in place. When can we come out?”

I was just flabbergasted, but in a good way. It was about 12 degrees Fahrenheit outside, with very high winds, and the last thing on my mind was air conditioning…

But there you go, gang. I am sort of stunned but it’s really happening — central AC installed in my 126-year-old home, absolutely free of charge to me.

(If you’re new to the blog — I had applied for a home improvement loan, but they said that since the house is old and because I’m old, they’re giving me a grant instead of a loan.)

But anyway, I’m very happy. And during the first week of February, both the carpenter and the plumber are coming to do the other upgrades. So, after 6 months of waiting, I can’t believe it’s all suddenly happening so fast.

Me, this coming summer, drinking coffee, chillin’ and reading with short red hair

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Tomorrow, I’m planning to work at the kitchen table while the AC guys are here, instead of up here at my desk. I’m really eager to get all these notes from Sandra sorted out, so we can make headway in getting the TV proposal back to the producer in Atlanta, who’s waiting on it.

Today, though–

It’s going to be sunny and not too terribly freezing out (34 degrees Fahrenheit), so my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man and I will be going out for sashimi and sake!!

And, YES! When I went to see him on Saturday, I did stop off at the gas station and bought one of those little bottles of pre-mixed vodka cocktails (and also another packet of those little bow-tie shaped snacks, because he loved those when I brought them over for Christmas Eve).

Well, he was so happy!!!

Not only that, but for some reason, the private nurse hadn’t done the grocery shopping yet, so there were no eggs for his breakfast when I got there. And it was about 5 degrees Fahrenheit, and snowy and icy outside, with high winds, so no way was I taking him out to eat.

So I Door-Dashed him in some breakfast from Bob Evans:

Very famous breakfast place in Central Ohio

He was super excited about that, too. It was more food than he normally eats in a week, let alone eats for breakfast, but he loved it. (Eggs, sausages, fried potatoes, biscuits, coffee and pancakes!) And since I knew I was giving him a “bottle of (diluted) vodka” later, I really, really wanted him to eat.

Okay, so that was really fun. And he had such a great time.

HOWEVER, when I got there and read over the notes from the caregiver who had replaced me the day before (I had called in sick), it turned out he had been unbelievably impossible to her.

Refused to eat. Refused to get dressed. Refused to speak to her. Refused to take his meds. He even called the private nurse, demanding to know who the stranger was that was in his house and why she was there, and then he actually threw the caregiver out! Made her leave the house and not come back. Even though the nurse explained to him that I was out sick and the girl was replacing me.

Of course he didn’t remember having done any of that when I got there on Saturday, but it kind of made me doubly happy that I had stopped off and bought him that vodka. He had such a great afternoon.

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Okay.

Here’s this.

I’m not sure why, gang, but when I saw this photo yesterday, it just sort of ignited my whole heart. (I think it’s his eyes.)

Keith onstage, somewhere at some point:

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And here are a couple photos from the Bad Seeds’ show in Adelaide!

I’m actually not completely certain which show this photo is from, but I loved the photo:

Photo by Marnie Richards

And you can buy tickets for the Sydney shows, January 23rd & 24th, HERE.

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And if you’re keeping track, right this minute:

GOLD: $4,866.94 per troy ounce

SILVER: $95.03 per ounce

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And on that lofty note, I gotta scoot!!

Have a wonder-filled Wednesday, wherever you are in the world!!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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I leave you with this!!

I hadn’t listened to this song in forever, but I put it in the CD player in the kitchen this morning at 4:15AM and then immediately hit REPEAT, and I listened to it over & over & over, while getting the many cats their breakfasts, and me, my breakfast, then washing up dishes, etc.

I’d forgotten how much I loved this song.

Johnny Cash, “Life’s Railway to Heaven”, from the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band tribute album, Will The Circle Be Unbroken, Vol. 2, 1989.

Enjoy, gang!!