Which is good, because I’m exhausted.

And I took a look at my schedule so far for October and almost fainted. Unbelievable amount of hours each week, and only one day off per week.

So I emailed the Agency around 6:30AM to just give them a general heads up that I cannot possibly do that many hours…

Here’s hoping it changes before the schedule is finalized.

So.

Even though today is my big day off (!!), I got out of bed just sort of exhausted from all of this stuff.

But I really liked the new client (and his wife) that I had yesterday. I liked them both so much, which was why I actually checked my schedule this morning in the first place — to see if they were going to be added to my shifts on a regular basis. (They are new to the Agency.)

And then I discovered that — oh, contraire! — there is no room in my schedule for either of these new clients that I’ve had recently that I really like. (And also no room in my schedule for the retired Chaplain that I just adore, and soon enough, she will be heading back down to Florida until next summer.)

Well, anyway.

It was that kind of morning, even though it’s my day off and I have the whole day to myself. I had to struggle to not feel defeated by all the randomness of this caregiving job.

***********

Okay.

So far, this is the ONLY official photo of Nick Cave receiving the Honorary Doctorate today:

However, they did send out a reminder about this:

“Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds will play Preston Park in Brighton on Friday 31 July 2026 – their only UK show of the year.  The fan presale begins this Thursday 25 September at 10am – if you haven’t already signed up, it’s not too late to register for early access to tickets:

Register NOW.

Tickets on general sale 10am Friday 26 September.”

**************

Another announcement–

The 37th Annual Lambda Literary Awards will be virtual, and are being held Saturday October 4 from 10am to 7pm EST.

“Your ticket includes virtual access to the 37th Annual Lambda Literary Awards Ceremony as well as a day packed with readings and panels featuring our finalists.”

Buy tickets HERE.

Also:

“If you’re local to Seattle, join us for a livestream viewing party with our new Executive Director Jozie Clapp at Charlie’s Queer Books. Reach out to us at donors@lambdaliterary.org if you’d like to hear more about how to attend.”

**************

And I think that might be it for today.

I need to finish up the laundry and get focused on The Curse of Our Profound Disorder.

If anything comes up later, I’ll be back.

Meanwhile, have a terrific Tuesday, wherever you are in the world!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

*************

I leave you with this!

Yes, more breakfast-listening music.

Still from the soundtrack to Pack Up the Plantation LIVE 1985, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers do a GREAT version of their 1976 hit, “American Girl”.

By the time I was a teenager, this song was truly part of the anthem of my whole life. I still love this song and I’m guessing it would be the most appropriate song to play at my funeral/memorial (still undecided on the burial vs. cremation thing).

Anyway. 1985. Killer version!!

Followed by TP & the HBs closing their show with the song at the Hollywood Bowl back on September 25th, 2017. Tom died 7 days later. So “American Girl” was the final song he sang in public.

“American Girl”

Well, she was an American girl
Raised on promises
She couldn’t help thinkin’ that there
Was a little more to life somewhere else
After all, it was a great big world
With lots of places to run to
And if she had to die tryin’
She had one little promise she was gonna keep

Oh yeah, all right
Take it easy, baby
Make it last all night (Make it last all night)
She was an American girl

Well, it was kind of cold that night
She stood alone on her balcony (Ooh)
Yeah, she could hear the cars roll by
Out on 441 like waves crashin’ on the beach
And for one desperate moment there
He crept back in her memory
God, it’s so painful when something that is so close
Is still so far out of reach

Oh yeah, all right
Take it easy, baby
Make it last all night (Make it last all night)
She was an American girl (Ooh)

c- 1976 Tom Petty

Today, before I leave for my shift, I’m officially taking all the summer decorations off the porch and putting out the fall stuff.

I don’t have much fall stuff — maybe, like, 2 things. But it is definitely time to put the summer stuff back into the barn until next year.

And just FYI — I am the ONLY person left in my entire neighborhood who still has her summer stuff out on her porch! Everyone else has long ago switched to fall.

***********

Okay.

Yesterday was much more intense than I was expecting. Even though my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man’s family was, indeed, gone, they left PILES of junk all over the place, and did not order a special bulk pick-up truck to come haul it away.

My client was more upset yesterday than he’d been all week. I was a wreck by the time I got home yesterday. I was just so emotionally worn out from all of it.

Anyway.

We did find this yesterday, and it cheered him — 2 photos of the USS General Gordon, the ship that my client came back to the States on in 1948, when he was 17 years old. After the war, the ship was used as a passenger ship between Japan and the US. My client’s father had bought him a one-way, first-class ticket when the war was over, so that my client could move back to NYC and start his life. My client has wonderful memories of being 17, and on that ship, not knowing what was in store for him in the US, but he was really, really excited.

**************

And here’s this!

This overwhelmed me and actually kind of made me feel a little discouraged.

In anticipation of my new boombox arriving soon, wherein I will be able to study French from my old cassettes instead of relying on the language apps on my phone —

These are only the cassettes, books, study materials that are actually on the book shelves in my room. This doesn’t count what I still have in storage .

And when I skimmed through the text book that accompanies the “French in Three Months” cassettes above, I was so disheartened to see just how much French I actually used to know!!

I used to do business with French publishers a lot, so I used to actually need to know French. But I have always loved the language, since I was a little girl, when my Grandma first taught me how to sing “Frere Jacques” and taught me some simple French words. (She also taught me a little bit of Yiddish!!)

I have studied French, officially, since I was about 9 years old, back in Cleveland, and then I never stopped. (And even when I was confined to the mental hospital for 6 months at age 15, my mother arranged for a French tutor to come visit me once a week, anything to try to keep me engaged with living.)

And, you know, this doesn’t count that I also studied Chinese (Mandarin), and Hebrew. I used to really know these languages (and these alphabets), too.

It’s overwhelming, reacquainting myself with how much I used to know that I’ve essentially forgotten.

And this doesn’t count the brief times I studied Spanish, Italian, and German, and Portuguese.

That feeling of: where did the time go? And also the feeling of: Why keep bothering?

However. I will.

*************

Okay, here’s this.

It sort of took my breath away because I looked at it and realized: that was where my heart was; that’s where my heart has always been. This weird photo is my whole life.

It looks so strange from this angle, and yet, even from this angle, I know it so well:

*****************

And here’s this!!

This is a pre-cursor to tomorrow, which is Nick Cave’s birthday:

And then on Tuesday, this happens:

So, I’m guessing we will have more “official” Nick Cave photos then!

***************

Okay.

After finding those letters, and the photo, from Jack Red Eagle the other day, and thought that I could not be any more astounded by my own life–

While yet again looking for something entirely different yesterday evening, I found a folder that had all the letters my birth father had written to me.

He did not write many because usually we talked on the phone. A lot. In fact, he was always making these rules about how we had to stop talking long distance (which was expensive back then) and write letters instead. But that never lasted long.

Re-reading this specific letter yesterday, blew me away. And what’s interesting about the envelope is that he didn’t put my last name. I was still a professional singer back then and I went by “Marilyn Jaye.” My birth dad was so proud of my songwriting. He was also a songwriter, guitar player and singer (blues/country). I also like how he wrote “Suite 5” when that was truly a hellhole apartment!

This whole idea of “Time” and how it has really been getting to me this past year, well, finding those letters from my birth father is just a prime example of what I can’t process:

I first became obsessed with finding my birth dad when I was 12. It took me 17 years to find him. I knew him after that for 10 years before he died, and now he has been dead for close to 27 years. And that relationship was the most important journey of my entire life.

I just don’t get it. “Time” and what it is. (Although I am doing better about reminding myself to focus on “NOW” and allowing for how the past shaped the now, and to find joy in that.)

**************

Okay!!

I guess I’ll get outside and get the summer stuff into the barn. And try to do a little writing before heading out to see the retired Minister and his lovely cat! OOPS! Of course, I meant WIFE!!

Enjoy your Sunday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiitng.

I love you guys. See ya!

************

In keeping with everything fucking with my head these days–

I’m still listening to the 3-CD collection of Tom Petty live radio broadcasts (Transmission Impossible), but this morning, I switched to the 1st CD.

I hadn’t heard it in a long time. In fact, someone I loved very dearly, also named Tom, was still alive and in my life — and also a huge Tom Petty fan — the last time I listened to it.

I was literally sitting at the breakfast table, eating my breakfast when this particular song came on, and so many memories of the “old” Tom just flooded me. And the song lyrics always captured what we were about. Even though it’s an old song, I vividly remember the first time he and I heard Tom Petty’s version, together. And how in love we were. (For 2 months, before he died.)

I started to cry right there at the breakfast table this morning.

He’s been gone 7 years this month. When the fuck did that happen?

This is an old Dave Clark Five song, by the way. From 1965. TP & the HBs knock it out of the park.

Okay. Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, “Any Way You Want It”, 1987, Live at the Coliseum. Enjoy, gang.

“Any Way You Want It”

Any way you want it
You can call me any day, hey, hey, hey
Any way you want it
You can always hear me say, hey, hey, hey

It’s all right (it’s all right)
It’s all right (it’s all right)
It’s all right (it’s all right)
It’s all right (it’s all right)
Any way you want it
That’s the way it will be

You don’t want money
You don’t want a diamond ring, hey, hey, hey
You say you want my lovin’
More than any other thing, hey, hey, hey

It’s all right (it’s all right)
It’s all right (it’s all right)
It’s all right (it’s all right)
It’s all right (it’s all right)
Any way you want it
That’s the way it will be

Any way, any way you want it
That’s all right by me
Any way, any way you want it
That’s the way it will be

Any way you want it
You can call me any day, hey, hey, hey
Any way you want it
You can always hear me say, hey, hey, hey

It’s all right (it’s all right)
It’s all right (it’s all right)
It’s all right (it’s all right)
It’s all right (it’s all right)
Any way you want it
That’s the way it will be

Any way, any way you want it
That’s all right by me
Any way, any way you want it
That’s the way it will be

Any way you want it
You can call me any day, hey, hey, hey
Any way you want it
You can always hear me say, hey, hey, hey

It’s all right (it’s all right)
It’s all right (it’s all right)
It’s all right (it’s all right)
It’s all right (it’s all right)
Any way you want it
That’s the way it will be
That’s the way it will be
That’s the way it will be
That’s the way it will be

c – 1965 Dave Clark

In my room, I mean.

But first — there’s this:

If you live anywhere near Newark, Ohio and want to participate, this candlelight vigil is tonight–

If you are not familiar with this area, be prepared — it is small but loaded with restaurants, theaters, offices and it is really hard to find a place to park, even in the best of circumstances.

***********

And here’s this!

As soon as I posted to the blog yesterday, naturally Nick Cave’s Official Instagram account released the announcement about July 31, 2026!

And it is this!!

“I am thrilled beyond words to return to my beloved Brighton with The Bad Seeds to play Preston Park. It’s a homecoming! It’s going to be big, bad and beautiful. An epic show!!!” Nick Cave

[I think “big, bad, and beautiful” and “epic” are all euphemisms for pandemonium, but we shall see! — Ed.]

Presale for tickets begins next Thursday, Sept. 25th, 10AM UK time. You can register here for presale access.

Meanwhile, here’s this!

***************

And here’s this–

Keith at home at Nellcote, in the South of France, 1971 (he is about 27 years old):

And just in case you have any interest in this whatsoever —

This is the very photo that first made me fall in love with Keith Richards when I was just turning 12!! I first saw it while alone in my room, naturally!

My room was in this house (in Columbus, OH) , and as luck would have it, the window to my room is on the upper left and now — lo! these many decades later! — totally hidden by the tree:

And here’s this, just because it sums up my whole entire life — The Beach Boys, from 1963, “In My Room” (!!):

************

There is an Iraqi dinar update from yesterday. You can find it on Sara Hopps telegram channel HERE.

“$1 dinar notes are out and articles are being published. Let’s see how the rest of this day plays out…. But things are moving and now IRAQ 🇮🇶 is finally taking major steps! This is an excellent start on a Monday!”

*************

And now we can go back to the title of this post — “A really, really, really, unusual world”.

And it refers, of course, to my room.

I decided to dust the bookshelves in my room this morning, because they haven’t been dusted since Spring, and — lo! and behold! — what did I find but these 2 textbooks that I totally forgot I had!

They were not my textbooks, but given to me by a friend back in 2020. They had been his textbooks and, since I have that Ministry Degree, he thought I would appreciate them.

And I did! And I appreciate them anew this morning!! Wow.

2 textbooks about the Reformation! The one on the left is HUGE. And that slim volume, The Western World, focuses solely on Martin Luther, John Calvin, and Saint Theresa of Avila.

I’m guessing that at this point in my life, I am simply meant to learn all I can about the Protestant Reformation without even leaving my room. Who knew?

And I have to add, yet again, that this series of lectures I’m currently taking (about the Protestant Reformation) continues to basically blow my mind every single day. And not always in a good way — considering the amount of executions, violence, etc.

And here’s this.

From yesterday.

I posted these 2 photos to my Instagram page. I posted the first one because I thought it was kind of amusing that I am once again really falling behind in my current reading. On my night table:

And then, after I came home from having lunch with my girlfriend, yet another highly anticipated book was waiting for me on my kitchen porch!!

And yesterday morning, before I even left for lunch, I ordered THIS book because a friend in France had recently read it and it sounded really great! So that, too, is on its way! (I ordered it in English translation, though.)

And sort of in a similar vein —

I also ordered one of these yesterday!!

To keep by my bed. Because it has a CASSETTE PLAYER!!!!

And honestly, gang, I have been noticing that it was so much easier for me to study Chinese and French in the old days because I used cassettes. I don’t know — the in-depth quality of the lessons was just so much better than what I have access to on my language-learning phone apps.

And since I still have ALL those various cassettes (and the accompanying textbooks), but no handy cassette player– wow! This little boombox from Jensen was so affordable! (Plus, I will be able to easily play CDs in my room, now, too!)

*********

So, basically, between studying and now READING all about the Protestant Reformation. And STILL studying French. And re-studying Mandarin, Chinese. And finishing my novel-in-progress, The Curse of Our Profound Disorder. And working on our play, “The Guide to being Fabulous,” readying it for Off-Broadway, along with the NEXT unbelievably awesome project with Sandra that I still can’t post about ….

I am now and forever, as I always have been for decades and decades, going to be in my room.

And with that, I want to get started on the writing for today, since I have the day off!!

*********

Have a terrific Tuesday, wherever you are in the world!!

Thanks for visiting!

I love you guys. See ya!

**********

Okay!!

Another song from my “songs I was listening to 6 years ago playlist” and yes, as it turns out, it’s another great song from my wee bonny teenage girlhood!!!!

When this song was a (smash) hit, I was going through probably the nadir of my existence. 1974 was one of the worst years of my life. And this song is so upbeat and so full of kindness and so hopeful. I just loved it. (Apparently, I loved it again when I was 59!!)

Billy Swan, “I Can Help”, 1974! Enjoy, gang!!

“I Can Help”

If you got a problem
Don’t care what it is
If you need a hand
I can assure you this

I can help
I got two strong arms
I can help
It would sure do me good to do you good
Let me help

It’s a fact that people get lonely
Ain’t nothing new
But a woman like you
Baby should never have the blues

Let me help
I got two for me
Let me help
It would sure do me good to do you good
Let me help

When I go to sleep at night
You’re always a part of my dream
Holding me tight and
Telling me everything I wanna hear

Don’t forget me baby
All you gotta do is call
You know how I feel about ya
If I can do anything at all
Let me help

If your child needs a daddy
I can help
It would sure do me good to do you good
Let me help

When I go to sleep at night
You’re always a part of my dream
Holding me tight and
Telling me everything I wanna hear

Don’t forget me, baby
All you gotta do is call
You know how I feel about you
If I can do anything at all
Let me help

If your child needs a daddy
I can help
It would sure do me good to do you good
Let me help

c- 1974 Billy Swan

Yes!! The Agency texted me TWICE already this morning, wanting me to pick up some urgent shifts today and tomorrow — however!!

LUNCH is on my horizon for today!! With my Q-following girlfriend, as we belatedly celebrate her birthday at 3 Tigers Brewing Co in Granville! And I’m not missing that for anything.

And then, of course, tomorrow, I need the whole day to work on getting the novel ever closer to its ending. (And I still have no clue how this novel ends, gang. The pages just keep coming out of me, with me having no clue beforehand what is getting ready to hit the page.)

**********

Still no word from Nick Cave’s Official Instagram page about what the announcement about July 31, 2026 is going to be!

*************

And here’s this!!

2 remarkably different looks sported by another one of my treasured heroes who is long gone now–

Lou Reed:

And here’s this, in case you never heard it before– a demo of my song, “Lou”, from 1984. (This version, recorded by me and Peitor Angell, when we were hanging around his apartment, back in the very OLD days, when he lived on Broadway in Manhattan.)

(When I then played this demo for my incredible friend Bob Cato at Columbia Records, he said, “Why on Earth are you singing like that?? What am I supposed to do with this??”)

(Although, an earlier demo, of just me and my guitar in my room on E.12th Street, was given directly to Lou by my good friend Joe Queenan.)

"Lou"

Come watch the rain
Wipe out the ballgame and 
Strike-out the names
Of players who’d gamble
With needles and dreams
In a game that’s as ruthless
as whiskey on speed

Who’ll call the game
On account of the rules being
Too tough to save
Any losers who’d forfeit
In a halo of fear?
Well, shame takes a holiday,
Let’s have a beer

CHORUS:
Fight, and maybe you’ll find
A reason to smile 
At the end of the line
Why don’t you fight?
Maybe you’ll win
And you’ll have some stories to tell 
For trying

Strike up a tune
For those who surrendered
And ducked out too soon;
Vice in the shadow
Was no easy crime
Let’s make it a double
For auld lang sine

You carve your name
In seasons of anger
of laughter and fame
To warn of the dangers
In packaging pain
For lives that get tossed
On account of the rain

© 1984 Marilyn Jaye Lewis
First of May Songs, BMI

*********

Here’s this–

The day after the notorious, horrific Altamont Concert in 1969.

Keith and Charlie, leaving California:

***********

This really amused me.

Back in the late 1990s, I was reading a collection of letters written by Edgar Allan Poe. And in the foreword, it said that he was living on the Upper West Side in Manhattan — around W.84th and Broadway — when these specific letters were written.

I lived at W.98th and West End Avenue at the time, so I used to stroll around W.84th, trying to imagine which old brownstone he might have lived in!!

Well, who knew????

There weren’t even any apartment buildings up there back when he lived there!!

Here’s this!

I definitely would have noticed an old farmhouse in the nieghborhood, if it had still been there…

************

And I think that might be it for now. I’m gonna get myself ready to head to town for lunch.

BTW, it is another really gorgeous day. I am really looking forward to just hanging out and relaxing (and laughing) with my girlfriend.

Okay. Enjoy your Monday, wherever you are in the world!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

***********

Yes!

Another one from the playlist from 6 years ago!!

Okay, this one just astounded me, gang.

When I was in my teens, my adopted mom LOVED Neil Diamond. So we always played his records together.

I remember this song (and album) extremely well. What a great album it was. It came out when I was still living at home, age 16, in 1976.

Beautiful Noise (seriously, a great album, produced by Robbie Robertson):

When the song below came on the playlist yesterday — when I was driving to my shift — it was one of those feelings, gang. It sent a chill right through me.

I realized that this song totally captured what it was like when I moved to NYC and had, what I refer to as, “my life” there. And how it feels now to remember it all. I almost cried right there in the car. Wow.

Anyway. “If You Know What I Mean”, 1976. From Beautiful Noise. Enjoy, gang.

“If You Know What I Mean”

When the night returns just like a friend
When the evening comes to set me free
When the quiet hours
That wait beyond the day
Make peaceful sounds in me

Took a drag from my last cigarette
Took a drink from a glass of old wine
I closed my eyes and I could make it real
And feel it one more time

Can you hear it, babe
Can you hear it, babe
From another time, from another place
Do you remember it, babe

And the radio played like a carnival tune
As we lay in our bed in the other room
When we gave it away
For the sake of a dream in a penny arcade
If you know what I mean
If you know what I mean, babe

And here’s to the songs we used to sing
And here’s to the times we used to know
It’s hard to hold them in our arms again
But hard to let them go
Do you hear it, babe
Do you hear it, babe

It was another time
It was another place
Do you remember it, babe

And the radio played like a carnival tune
As we lay in our bed in the other room
When we gave it away
For the sake of a dream in a penny arcade
If you know what I mean
If you know what I mean
If you know what I mean
If you know what I mean

If you know what I mean, babe
If you know what I mean

c – 1976, Neil Diamond