Tag Archives: life

You guessed it! Absolutely NOT me!

April 11, 2026 marilyn jaye lewis Leave a comment

I’m really trying though, gang. To find that inner peace this morning.

And yesterday was a very good day with my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man. I’m hoping today will be the same. (See yesterday’s post.)

Yesterday, we went out for sashimi and sake, and a strange thing happened when the fortune cookies arrived. We both got the same fortune — but his had a typo in it:

When I got to his house yesterday morning, before I woke him, I set out a really cool old photo of his dad, from 1957. Small. About 5 x 7. It’s in a lovely old frame, too. I set it on the small table next to his recliner.

I found the photo in his dining room, but it was stuck back behind a bunch of larger photos, so you couldn’t even see it.

Anyway. When he discovered this photo next to his chair, it absolutely delighted him. (His dad is 88 years old in the photo. His dad was 60 years old when my favorite Japanese man was born.)

Honestly, this photo made his day. He kept holding it and staring at it. (If I remember, I’ll try to get a photo of the photo today and post it here. His dad is standing on the front porch of that house he designed that is a House Museum in Tokyo now.)

I also told him that next Friday is supposed to be a really gorgeous Spring day. And since the trees everywhere are now getting their bright green leaves that he loves, the views at the clubhouse at the golf course should be beautiful.

But it’s also going to be April 17th next Friday. And I reminded him that both his second wife (the love of his life) and my dad died on April 17th (several years apart). So I suggested we go have lunch at the golf course in honor of that — and that most likely the Spirits of his wife and my dad will join us for lunch.

This idea basically overwhelmed him with joy.

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All righty.

From the RollingStonesBrasil channel a few minutes ago on Instagram. This is in translation mode:

There was also a very, very short audio snippet from the new Stones single posted to “the Cockroaches” WhatsApp but now I can’t find it! But it sounded really good — even though it was only about 5 seconds.

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Okay!!

The print edition of my 2011 novel, Twilight of the Immortal is indeed back in print, at least on Amazon.

This is the same edition that had been up there for, I guess, 15 years, but for some reason, had suddenly un-published itself when I republished the eBook edition. Anyway. It’s back. But it is a little cheaper now: $15 plus shipping.

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And here’s a curious — but really nice — thing.

In the 15 years that I have been self-publishing, my best friend Valerie in Brooklyn has designed a lot of my book covers (including the one above, based on a photo of the Silent Film actress, Bebe Daniels, in 1921).

But for whatever reason, Valerie hasn’t actually read most of my books. And this goes way back to the beginning of my career in short story & fiction publishing — 1988. (Valerie and I have known each other, in every sense of the word, since 1982.)

I had asked her recently (“begged” is probably a better word) to please read The Curse of Our Profound Disorder, because I wanted to enter it into literary contests and I couldn’t figure out what category it goes in. I had sent her the Word file for it several months ago, but she never read it.

So she promised to read it and, last evening, she sent a text saying, in part: “Wow, Emmy!! The writing is incredible!!”

That made me feel incredible.

So yesterday was a pretty okay day, on many levels.

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Okay.

Here’s this.

George Harrison doing his Krishna thing:

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And from Dana Petty, posted late last night. (And according to old interviews with Tom, Dana — his second wife! — was also the love of his life. He adored that woman so much. They married after she helped him quit heroin.)

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And here’s this!

The Ramones. No explanation needed.

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And here’s this!

Johnny Thunders. Probably no explanation needed here, either.

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And here’s this from my private desktop stash. Just because my soul needed this kind of inspiration this morning.

Nick Cave. I don’t remember when, where, or photo-by-whom. I just love it.

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And that is it for now.

Tomorrow, I’m taking the day off because I’m taking that screenwriting webinar in the late afternoon. So that means 2 days off in a row again. Yay! (However, an “AC install fire drill” is scheduled to happen on Monday at 8AM…)

At some point, I will also be catching up with Sandra to see where we’re at with (all 3 of) our current projects (TV, theater, movie). (I’m guessing that she will call as soon as the AC install guys actually show up…)

Meanwhile, enjoy your Saturday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya.

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Let’s close with this. Just because it suits my mood.

Me. Song written in 1984. Demo from 1994. Enjoy, gang.

Mother with the Gun

It’s been so long
Since I held my man
In my arms without a fire in my head;
It’s been so long
Since I laid with him
Side by side without the rage of one regret.

CHORUS I
I had this dream that I took all I could take
Pulled a .38 and blew my man away
And both our kids had seen
What I had done
And the Press called me the ‘Mother with the Gun.’

It’s been so long
Since I earned my pay
Without feeling I’d been chained down 
to the ground;
It’s been so long
Since I made my way
Sure and proud without
The shame of kneeling down.

CHORUS II
I had this dream that I took all I could take
Pulled a .38 and blew my boss away
And both my kids had seen
What I had done
And the Press called me the ‘Mother with the Gun.’

It’s been so long, now
Since I’ve been old enough
I’ve got the wisdom that you get
From bearing pain;
But now my kids it seems
Just make the same mistakes;
Will I sit back and watch it
All go down again?

CHORUS III
I had this dream that I took all I could take
I called an agency and gave my kids away
I signed a paper to ensure we’d stay apart
And the Man called me the mother with no heart.
I had this dream that I took all I could take
And I woke up this morning feeling far away
And there’s a man fading with the setting sun
His voice is shouting, “Come on, lady, drop the gun…”

© 1984 Marilyn Jaye Lewis
First of May Songs, BMI

An interesting morning so far!

April 8, 2026 marilyn jaye lewis 2 Comments

First, I read this on Real Raw News.

And I don’t know how much of it is accurate, and/or how much of it was put out there in order to give people yet another rude awakening about AI.

This is about GITMO and Camp Blaz:

“JAG Talks Replacing Tribunal Panelists with AI for Speedier Trials and Verdicts“

In part, it says:

…”“We have forty-seven detainees awaiting full evidentiary hearings,” Gen Flatt allegedly told Gen. Bligh. “Our panels are backlogged for years. The President wants faster justice. The question is whether code can deliver justice. Everyone else uses AI, so why shouldn’t we? AI doesn’t tire, sleep, or have prejudices. AI won’t forget a contradiction buried in a 10,000-page discovery dump.”

…’We’re not talking about a drone strike algorithm. Our proceedings involve human lives and constitutional questions. If we replace panelists with AI, we’ll be handing propagandists a dream narrative: ‘America lets robots judge its enemies.’ What about the ‘human override’ protocol? Who pulls it when the AI downplays torture-derived intel? And who trains the system programmers with zero courtroom hours? It’s frightening,” Gen. Bligh responded.” [full article is HERE]

Scary shit, right? (Those JAG tribunals frequently end with executions.)

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And then a little while later, this song popped up in my YouTube feed: The new single from the Rolling Stones! Ahead of the expected April 11th drop!

I played it and it sounded like a good old-fashioned Rolling Stones hit!

When I looked more closely — it was not the Stones, it was AI.

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Jesus Christ, right??

On an entirely different note (but similar to “what is real and what is AI”), Charlie Ward finally had a news update this morning where he was speaking in plain fucking English for a change (i.e., recent “rockets to the moon” and an alleged “war” with Iran):

CHARLIE WARD DAILY NEWS WITH CHARLIE WARD & DREW DEMI WEDNESDAY 8TH APRIL 2026 (7 mins):

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But, regardless of all that, I actually woke up in the best mood this morning — and none of that AI stuff ruined it for me!! Yay!!

And today I’ll be back with my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man and I’m guessing things will be back to normal again. (His daughter flew back home on Saturday afternoon, and he’s been with his private nurse again for the last 3 days.)

I’m looking forward to things being “normal”. I hope.

And then basically the minute I get back home from my shift later, there’s another town hall zoom meeting for Lambda Literary donors. An update with how their plans are unfolding so far this year. I’m looking forward to that.

And then TOMORROW!

The AC guys are allegedly coming back, bright & early, to make sure my brand new central AC unit actually works!! Yay! (So, I guess, expect my blog post tomorrow to be a little late, since I will be setting up the laptop at the kitchen table again, etc.)

But as far as I know, after they’re done, that is the last of the repairs that will be needed around here for awhile.

The next project will be that dumpster rental — assuming I can afford it. And then my lovely little 115-year-old barn will be my own again. (See yesterday’s post.)

So everything will be sort of settling down. For awhile, I hope. And I will be able to focus on —

THE WRITING!!

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Okay.

I don’t have too many “here’s this’s'” for today.

But here’s this!

Not AI !! Keith, watering his actual garden!!

And a classic photo of Keith from my wee bonny girlhood!

At Nellcote, in 1971 — “Brown Sugar”!!

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And a lovely photo of Gram Parsons, in Topanga Canyon, 1970, just prior to the release of Sweethearts of the Rodeo:

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And speaking of lovely photos!

Nick and Blixa in Belgium, in 1986:

And Nick Cave in Berlin, in 2024!

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And that is it.

I gotta scoot. I’m running a little late. But I am really looking forward to a lovely drive to town and back today — it’s still cold here but so sunny!!

Have a wonder-filled Wednesday, wherever you are in the world!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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Let’s close with this!!

This also popped up on YouTube this morning — an actual song by the actual Rolling Stones, from their legendary 1974 album, It’s Only Rock & Roll !!

“If You Can’t Rock Me (Somebody Will)”. Enjoy, gang!!

Me, Maybe!!

April 6, 2026 marilyn jaye lewis 2 Comments

If I can get any energy whatsoever happening here today.

I am so fucking tired.

And I really hate when I’m so wiped out on a day off.

But we’ll see how it goes.

However.

THIS was so awesome. The sales rankings for pre-orders of The Curse Of Our Profound Disorder on Amazon US last evening, after the first 24 hours — thanks everybody!!

If you want to pre-order the print edition on Amazon US, you can do it HERE.

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I keep forgetting to post this link, but I’m pretty sure it has something to do with the upcoming new album by the Rolling Stones. (The link came from the RollingStonesBrasil channel on Instagram.)

The Cockroaches (whatever it is, it’s coming April 11th)

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Apparently, yesterday was the anniversary of Allen Ginsberg’s death:

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And also from yesterday, Ross K. Nichols’ Sunday School.

“This session carefully examines the resurrection stories of the Hebrew Bible, tracing the clues left by the biblical writers. What emerges is an often-overlooked pattern and a trail that leads somewhere quite unexpected, offering a fresh and thought-provoking look at a familiar theme.”

Raising the Dead: In Search of Its Source (1 hr 15 mins):

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And another re-post from James Tabor yesterday:

Jesus’ Final Week: A Post-Easter Wrap-Up (52 mins):

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Also from James Tabor.

But this has nothing to do with Easter. It has more to do with Christianity before (and during) Paul.

“… who were the Ebionites? Were John the Baptist, Jesus, and James part of a “stream” of faith and piety that traced back to the Dead Sea Scroll group, and down through a so-called “Christianity,” before, during, in contrast to the message of the apostle Paul? I explore what they believed, how it differs from later mainstream Roman Christianity, We explore what happened to them, down into the later centuries, including their influence on earliest Islam.”

The Forgotten Ebionites–Found at Last! (45 mins):

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And here’s this!

A couple of masterpieces sighted at the Louvre in Paris only a few days ago!!!

Keanu and Mona:

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More rum aficionados at the recent launch of Johnny Depp’s new brand of rum, Three Hearts Rum (drinking only, no smoking allowed):

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And let’s take a quick moment for a mini quiz!

Which of these Stones is probably stoned???

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And here’s this.

Another trip down Memory Lane!

2 photos of Nick Cave by Bleddyn Butcher.

The first — right before Nick had spinal surgery in Brazil, to have that growth removed:

And second — this ended up not requiring shoulder surgery. The extra head was actually attached to some guy who walked away:

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And that’s all I have for today, gang. I am just so fucking tired.

I’m finishing up a load of laundry here (you probably think that all I do is laundry, but you’re mistaken. I do other stuff, too. I do, like, 1,794 other things.).

I hope to get some writing done today, but honestly, I just don’t know. It depends on if the brain wants to put in an appearance or not. But the good news is that, since I’m taking that webinar on Sunday, I only have 4 shifts this coming week, so, yay! I feel confident that the brain will return at some point!

And this afternoon, I’m supposed to have a chat with Valerie in Brooklyn! That always perks me up.

And for right now, I want to take some time to just stop, and think about stuff that makes me happy. (I think there are, like, 3 things that make me happy. I’m going to try to focus and remember what those things are.) (I might go outside and take a walk. Sometimes that helps me remember everything…)

Meanwhile, enjoy your Monday, wherever you are in the world!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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I leave you with this!

Last night’s listening-by-candlelight-while-lying-in-bed music!! (And pretty soon, the candles will be gone until Fall, because it’s getting later and later now before the sun actually sets!)

But this was beautiful. I hadn’t actually listened to this song in ages.

Bob Dylan. “Lay Lady Lay”. 1969. From the album, Nashville Skyline. Enjoy, gang.

Lay Lady Lay

Lay, lady, lay
Lay across my big brass bed
Lay, lady, lay
Lay across my big brass bed

Whatever colors you have
In your mind
I'll show them to you
And you'll see them shine
Lay, lady, lay, lay across
My big brass bed

Stay, lady, stay
Stay with your man awhile
Until the break of day
Let me see you make him smile

His clothes are dirty, but his
His hands are clean
And you're the best thing
That he's ever seen
Stay, lady, stay
Stay with your man awhile

Why wait any longer for the world to begin?
You can have your cake and eat it too
Why wait any longer for the one you love
When he's standing in front of you?

Lay, lady, lay
Lay across my big brass bed
Stay, lady, stay
Stay while the night is still ahead

I long to see you in the morning light
I long to reach for you in the night
Stay, lady, stay
Stay while the night is still ahead

c- 1969 Bob Dylan

Happy Easter! Happy Birthday!!

April 5, 2026 marilyn jaye lewis 4 Comments

For some inexplicable reason, I slept in until 5:38AM today!!

And of all the mornings to oversleep — the kittens’ birthday today and Easter Sunday!

But a good time was had by all. The Happy Birthday breakfast (or “Happy Easter”, if you didn’t turn 1 today!):

4 out of the 6 pictured here have a birthday today!

And it’s Billie Jo’s birthday today, too, but she likes to eat off by herself in the family room, so that other ravenous cats don’t steal her food! (She’s the one who was born without her 2 back feet.)

And apparently my 14-year-old cats, who had birthdays on St. Patrick’s Day and who spend most of their time in the guest bedroom upstairs, liked their Easter breakfast just fine!!

And then the birthday toys came out in the kitchen!

And Kon Tiki and 3 of her furry friends joined us for Easter breakfast today, out on the kitchen porch. In the dark. Serenaded by a bunch of singing birds — and the sound filled the whole village.

We also had a wonderful — and really big!! — ‘possum join us for breakfast out there, too!

All before the sun came up.

And oddly enough, even after oversleeping, I’m still exhausted! Cannot imagine why…

But it was a beautiful morning.

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And Happy Easter, if you celebrate it, gang.

James Tabor re-posted this last night. It’s difficult to listen to, if you are sort of viscerally attached to Jesus of Nazareth, the man (as I am). But it’s worth watching because of all the archeological /historical stuff. (And by “Mafia”, Tabor is referring here to the family of High Priests in Jerusalem at that time, who were hellbent on first mortifying and then executing Jesus.)

Jesus Archaeology # 13 Killing Jesus–The Mafia Backstory (29 mins):

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Yesterday was strange.

My favorite 95-year-old Japanese man’s week-long visit with his daughter was a success. But by yesterday, I knew he was exhausted and was very patiently waiting for it to be over. (She flew back home late yesterday afternoon.)

He even said as much to me — that he wanted her to go — when he and I were alone in his bedroom.

I found that part to be sort of astonishing, since his brain doesn’t work too great in the “here & now”. Yet he had enough mental faculties to express himself to me very quietly, without being rude to his daughter.

The problem was that he doesn’t like people to clean his house and his daughter would not stop cleaning. She cleaned EVERYTHING. All week long.

I understood where she was coming from emotionally, and she knew that all the cleaning was upsetting her dad, but she felt compelled to “take care of him”, in that sense.

Yesterday sort of reached the pinnacle, since it was her last day. And I spent my entire shift being cheerful and chatty and patient and supportive with each of them — trying to balance the energy between those two so that everything would stay peaceful.

Plus, she had confided in me that she is enrolling him in Hospice now, which is of course her decision and I understand why it makes sense to her, but it was really startling to me. (I’ve been with him several days a week for the past 18 months; his physical health is perfect. )

Anyway.

It was a relief to get out of there.

And from there, I went to do all the grocery shopping. Even though the stores were kind of crowded, since it was the day before Easter. But it kind of helped me clear my head.

And then, in the parking lot, while heading to my car, pushing my bags of groceries in the grocery cart, a woman who looked to be about 80, in complete distress, called out to me: “Please, please! Can you help me?”

ME (leaving my cart and going to her): “Yes I can.”

Without even knowing what she needed help with. It was just that call of distress from someone in need. Off I went.

I did eventually move my grocery cart over to my own car, and luckily what she needed help with, I was able to fix for her. (A problem with her car.)

And as I drove away, I was just sort of stunned. I was really glad that I’d been able to help her, so that she could drive herself home and feel safe and probably collapse…

…while I drove home to take care of 17 abandoned and/or rescued cats. In my 125-year-old home that through some miracle of grace, I manage to keep in really good shape…

What the fuck has my life become, right?

I was fucking exhausted.

And as I pulled up to my house, the neighbors across the road — the one who had dug my car out from under 4 feet of snow a few months ago — had no less than 10 pickup trucks parked along the side of their house. Happy guys outside, tinkering with the trucks. Kids running around, laughing, playing with toys. Obviously getting ready for Easter.

It was breathtaking, all the activity over there. And that was what I had always wanted, always assumed I would somehow have — a huge family, right?

Yesterday just wiped me out.

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However!

A great big thank you to whoever is pre-ordering The Curse of Our Profound Disorder !! It is already showing up in the sales ranking on Amazon!

I really, really appreciate it. (You can pre-order the print edition on Amazon US here, but it is available for pre-ordering at pretty much all online bookstores.)

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All righty!

Here’s this.

I’m not familiar with this photographer, but apparently she has passed away. Here are a couple of her photos, though. One of Richard Hell, and one of Iggy Pop:

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And here’s this!

A classic photo of Keith — it’s hard to see it here, but he’s wearing his “Marilyn” t-shirt:

And here’s this — no, not being taken off to jail, just being escorted through the crowd!

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And in honor of Easter!

A classic photo from yesteryear — of Nick Cave and a bunny!!

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And I believe that is it for now!

I have my shift later today with the retired Minister and his lovely wife and cat. I guess it will be an interesting way to “celebrate” Easter.

And then not only do I have tomorrow off, but also my best friend Valerie in Brooklyn and I are planning on having a catch-up chat on the phone!! Yay.

Okay. Enjoy your Easter, or have a good Sunday if you don’t celebrate Easter, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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Let’s close with this.

This is a video that I play a lot on my phone for my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man. He loves this song (and this video).

The classic from Louis Armstrong, “What a Wonderful World.” Enjoy, gang.

Gettin’ ready for summer, I guess!

January 21, 2026 marilyn jaye lewis Leave a comment

So, tomorrow!!

As part of my home improvement grant from the USDA — they are coming to install my central AC!!

They called me while I was at my shift yesterday. And they said, “Okay, we’re all set. All the paperwork’s in place. When can we come out?”

I was just flabbergasted, but in a good way. It was about 12 degrees Fahrenheit outside, with very high winds, and the last thing on my mind was air conditioning…

But there you go, gang. I am sort of stunned but it’s really happening — central AC installed in my 126-year-old home, absolutely free of charge to me.

(If you’re new to the blog — I had applied for a home improvement loan, but they said that since the house is old and because I’m old, they’re giving me a grant instead of a loan.)

But anyway, I’m very happy. And during the first week of February, both the carpenter and the plumber are coming to do the other upgrades. So, after 6 months of waiting, I can’t believe it’s all suddenly happening so fast.

Me, this coming summer, drinking coffee, chillin’ and reading with short red hair

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Tomorrow, I’m planning to work at the kitchen table while the AC guys are here, instead of up here at my desk. I’m really eager to get all these notes from Sandra sorted out, so we can make headway in getting the TV proposal back to the producer in Atlanta, who’s waiting on it.

Today, though–

It’s going to be sunny and not too terribly freezing out (34 degrees Fahrenheit), so my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man and I will be going out for sashimi and sake!!

And, YES! When I went to see him on Saturday, I did stop off at the gas station and bought one of those little bottles of pre-mixed vodka cocktails (and also another packet of those little bow-tie shaped snacks, because he loved those when I brought them over for Christmas Eve).

Well, he was so happy!!!

Not only that, but for some reason, the private nurse hadn’t done the grocery shopping yet, so there were no eggs for his breakfast when I got there. And it was about 5 degrees Fahrenheit, and snowy and icy outside, with high winds, so no way was I taking him out to eat.

So I Door-Dashed him in some breakfast from Bob Evans:

Very famous breakfast place in Central Ohio

He was super excited about that, too. It was more food than he normally eats in a week, let alone eats for breakfast, but he loved it. (Eggs, sausages, fried potatoes, biscuits, coffee and pancakes!) And since I knew I was giving him a “bottle of (diluted) vodka” later, I really, really wanted him to eat.

Okay, so that was really fun. And he had such a great time.

HOWEVER, when I got there and read over the notes from the caregiver who had replaced me the day before (I had called in sick), it turned out he had been unbelievably impossible to her.

Refused to eat. Refused to get dressed. Refused to speak to her. Refused to take his meds. He even called the private nurse, demanding to know who the stranger was that was in his house and why she was there, and then he actually threw the caregiver out! Made her leave the house and not come back. Even though the nurse explained to him that I was out sick and the girl was replacing me.

Of course he didn’t remember having done any of that when I got there on Saturday, but it kind of made me doubly happy that I had stopped off and bought him that vodka. He had such a great afternoon.

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Okay.

Here’s this.

I’m not sure why, gang, but when I saw this photo yesterday, it just sort of ignited my whole heart. (I think it’s his eyes.)

Keith onstage, somewhere at some point:

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And here are a couple photos from the Bad Seeds’ show in Adelaide!

I’m actually not completely certain which show this photo is from, but I loved the photo:

And you can buy tickets for the Sydney shows, January 23rd & 24th, HERE.

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And if you’re keeping track, right this minute:

GOLD: $4,866.94 per troy ounce

SILVER: $95.03 per ounce

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And on that lofty note, I gotta scoot!!

Have a wonder-filled Wednesday, wherever you are in the world!!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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I leave you with this!!

I hadn’t listened to this song in forever, but I put it in the CD player in the kitchen this morning at 4:15AM and then immediately hit REPEAT, and I listened to it over & over & over, while getting the many cats their breakfasts, and me, my breakfast, then washing up dishes, etc.

I’d forgotten how much I loved this song.

Johnny Cash, “Life’s Railway to Heaven”, from the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band tribute album, Will The Circle Be Unbroken, Vol. 2, 1989.

Enjoy, gang!!