Yes!

My very FIRST holiday, since starting to work for the Agency one year ago, where I actually have a holiday OFF!

(I cannot believe I have been working for the Agency for a year already.)

And tempting as it is to invite some old-style grandparents over and have a cookout (as pictured above!)… instead, I am going to be working on The Curse of our Profound Disorder all day today. I am almost finished with it, gang!!

In fact, today, I am starting at page one and reading/revising up to what I’ve written so far, to see how it’s flowing, and then, from there, it won’t be long until it’s complete. Only took 26 years…

This was me, yesterday. After working on the novel, I started getting ready for my shift and I happened to glance in the mirror and I thought: Wow. I actually look like a non-stressed human being.

That is rare for me. So I took my picture:

***************

Okay.

I’ve already got the laundry underway. And, later, I’ll do yoga. Then listen to another lecture in the course I’m taking about the Reformation (15th-16th Centuries). We are up to Christian Humanists and Martin Luther (early 1500s), so I actually want to re-listen to that lecture — there is so much to take in.

Also, long-time readers of this lofty blog perhaps recall that my ancestors in Germany attended this Protestant church in Alsenz in the 1600s:

It is still an active church. And there are still birth, death, and marriage records of my family in their archives, including birth records of the brothers who left Germany and came to America. (Late 1600s.)

This region is less than 200 miles from where Martin Luther was born and died (although he lived a few other places in between).

My point is that I feel certain my extended family has to have been aware of what Martin Luther was achieving during the Reformation — while it was happening. So, even though I’m not a Lutheran, I just find the whole era extremely interesting.

*************

Okay!

Other than that — and a phone call I’m expecting from Wayne this afternoon, all I’m going to do today is focus on the novel and it feels really incredible. To finally have time to focus. (And also knowing that a publisher is waiting to read the finished manuscript.) (But I think I will have Wayne read it first before, eventually, sending it off.)

So I’m feeling like today is just a real gift.

*************

All righty.

Here’s this!

From Instagram — from the long ago days when it was always easy to know for sure when you were looking at a picture of Johnny Smoke Depp, because he was always smoking!!

**********

And here’s this!

I saw this photo yesterday, after I posted to the blog about Patti Smith and Jim Carroll. (And a photo of myself playing CBGBs, in the mid-1980s — I was known as” Marilyn J.” back then.)

If you aren’t aware of the profound impact CBGBs had on the club scene in NYC and on bands from the 1970s, that have since become legends, here’s a short list!

Patti Smith
The Ramones
Television
Blondie
Talking Heads
The Dead Boys
The Misfits
The Dictators
The Cramps
Richard Hell & The Voidoids
Joan Jett & The Blackhearts
The B-52’s
Mink DeVille

Even though I didn’t write or perform music in that genre, by the time I did play CBGBs in the mid-80s, it was back to hiring other types of music. (CBGB stood for Country, Bluegrass, and Blues.)

Anyway.

Here’s the guy who made it all happen. First, by opening CBGBs and then by letting punks play there, even though he, personally, didn’t care much for punk music, which was why he eventually added OMFUG to the title of the club (Other Music For Uplifting Gormandizers.).

Hilly Kristal. He was a true legend among musicians on the Lower East Side. And he was still very much around in the days when I and most of my freinds were playing gigs at CBGBs.

It turns out that Thursday (8/28) was the anniversary of his passing:

***********

Okay.

This was interesting.

Posted last night– does he mean this current holiday weekend, or the upcoming one?

From il donaldo trumpo:

WE’RE GONNA NEED WAY MORE POPCORN THIS WEEKEND!!!😎🇺🇸🍿🍿🍿

Phil also dropped a comm, this morning at 2:51AM, but I can’t usually de-code Phil for the life of me. This one seems to have something to do with “batter up”. Anyway. Something’s up. Check the link for the video.

*************

And here’s this!!

While we wait 3 more days for Nick Cave and Colin Greenwood to resume their tour with 2 sold out shows at Baden-Baden, Germany…

From my desktop stash!!

And don’t forget! On sale now!! Only 4 months away…

**********

And I think maybe that’s it for today!!

Enjoy your Labor Day if you live State-side, otherwise, have a happy Monday wherever you are in the world!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

*********

I leave you with this!

My favorite 95-year-old Japanese client was very much influenced by the guy below, back in 1953. In fact, my client even took a break from attending NYU’s Engineering School, to attend a very small Methodist college in Kansas and study for the Ministry, after attending one of Billy Graham’s talks at a church in NYC.

He and I listened to this on Saturday —

Billy Graham — Put God First (46 seconds). Enjoy, gang!

So far, so good.

Bobby and Freddie are still doing great, post-surgeries.

The sky is blue, the corn is still green (although farmers are starting to harvest it now around here).

I’m getting some good work done on completing The Curse of Our Profound Disorder.

The bills are paid for another month. And we say goodbye to August today.

Although I actually had to turn the furnace on this morning. The furnace — in August! If that isn’t geoengineering, I’m not sure what is.

But you know, I much prefer having to turn the furnace on, over so much heat and humidity that I can’t think straight and my poor cats start dying…

Anyway. It’s a good morning here. And I have a few hours to myself before I head out for my shift with the retired Minister and his wife.

And as of right now — I have 3 days off this coming week, so I’m really, really hoping to maybe even finish The Curse of Our Profound Disorder. Or at least get really really close.

*************

Oh!

And here’s this.

Some cool photos of one of my absolute all-time heroes, Jim Carroll.

An original cover of the 1st edition of The Basketball Diaries (1978) (this was a fantastic book, gang. If you’ve never read it, you should!!):

“It is an edited collection of the diaries he kept between the ages of twelve and sixteen. Set in New York City, they detail his daily life, sexual experiences, high school basketball career, poetry compositions, the counterculture movement, and especially his addiction to heroin, which began when he was 13.”

And this photo of Jim with his good friend, Patti Smith:

And if you never read Patti’s memoir, Just Kids, you should read that, too!! It is mostly about her relationship with the artist Robert Mapplethorpe, but there’s some great stuff in there, too, about her early days in NYC being freinds with Jim Carroll.

The book won the National Book Award in 2010. And this LINK is Patti talking about her feelings around writing the book on its 15th anniversary of publication. (9 mins.)

And PS: Patti Smith is one of the key people who literally saved my life back in 1975. She was just starting to become known outside of NYC and CREEM Magazine did a fantastic article about her and her upcoming first album, Horses.

I read the article in CREEM while confined to the mental hospital, after my first suicide attempt (in 1975).

As fate would have it — I had just become familiar with Patti Smith as a playwright and a poet. She’d co-written a play with Sam Shepard, “Cowboy Mouth“. And I had bought a copy of this book, Mad Dog Blues & Other Plays (1972) —

— just prior to being put in the mental hospital. I was already very fond of reading plays, and I had bought the book for 10 cents, when the public library in Columbus was having a used book sale.

The very moment that I was informed I was being committed to a mental hospital and to “get in the car NOW”, I grabbed any books I could find in my room, and Mad Dog Blues was one of them. So I read it while in the hospital, and I was blown away that a GIRL (!!) had actually written that incredible play with Sam Shepard, and some of her poetry was included in the book, and her poems blew me away, too.

So when I read the article about her in CREEM, I couldn’t wait for her album to come out. She just wasn’t like any other woman out there back then. And it gave me great hope that someday, I, too, would actually somehow, someway get to NYC and be a singer-songwriter.

(How it turned out: Me in NYC, at CBGBs about 9 years later — being a singer-songwriter in NYC.)

Patti literally gave me something to believe in and to live for back then (when I was 15). And when her album, Horses, came out — WOW, was I blown away by that, too!!

If you are not familiar with the album, try this song — and imagine being a deeply troubled 15-year-old girl, stuck in Columbus, Ohio, alone in your room and hearing this at a time when most “girls” in the music industry were absolutely nothing at all like this. Just, WOW:

***************

Okay!

Here’s another photo from Johnny Depp’s new Dior campaign:

***********

And I am currently watching this on Metrograph:

“Whisky” from 2004, an award-winning Uruguayan tragicomedy. I just started watching it, so I’m not too deep in, but the cinematography and the music are just gorgeous.

**************

Also!!

As we wait the remaining 5 days for Nick Cave and Colin Greenwood to resume their tour in Baden-Baden, Germany, here’s this!

“Shivers,” 1979. The Boys Next Door. (I absolutely NEVER get tired of this song and it DOES keep me from contemplating suicide, and it gives me yet another reason to be glad I’m still here.)

“Shivers”

I’ve been contemplating suicide
But it really doesn’t suit my style
So I think I’ll just act bored instead
And contain the blood I would’ve shed

She makes me feel so ill at ease
My heart is really on it’s knees
But I keep a poker face so well
That even mother couldn’t tell

But my baby’s so vain
She is almost a mirror
And the sound of her name
Sends a permanent shiver down my spine

I keep her photograph against my heart
For in my life she plays a starring part
All alcohol and cigarettes
There is no room for cheap regrets

She makes me feel so ill at ease
My heart is really on it’s knees
But I keep a poker face so well
That even mother couldn’t tell

But my baby’s so vain
She is almost a mirror
And the sound of her name
Sends a permanent shiver down my spine

c – 1976 Rowland S. Howard

*************

Okay.

From James Tabor–

What Do We Really KNOW About the Historical Jesus? An In-Depth Conversation with Dr. Justin Sledge (1 hr 48 mins):

************

And here’s this!

I just love this song from yesteryear!! “Pistol Packin’ Mama,” 1943, Al Dexter & his Troopers:

***********

And I’m not positive, gang, but I think that’s it for now.

Enjoy your Sunday, wherever you are in the world!!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

*************

How about this?

From The Jim Carroll Band, off their first album, Catholic Boy, 1980. “City Drops into the Night.” Enjoy, gang.

“City Drops into the Night”

It’s when Billy’s whores are workin’
They’re workin’ with the skeleton crew
It’s when the sky over Jersey
That sky starts to drain from view
It’s when my woman pawns her voice so
So she can make her old excuses sound new

But I just want one clue

‘Cause when the city drops into the night
Before the darkness there’s one moment of light
When everything seems clear
The other side, it seems so near
What seemed wrong?
I think it’s gonna be just about right
Before the city drops, the city drops
Into the night

It’s when the door to the River
That door is like 26 miles
It’s when ambitious little girls start
They start to dream about a change in style
It’s when the slick boys got their fingers
They got their fingers in the telephone dial

But I think I’ll just wait a while

‘Cause when the city drops into the night
Before the darkness there’s one moment of light
When everything seems clear
The other side, it seems so near
What seemed wrong?
I think it’s gonna be just about right
Before the city drops, the city drops
Into the night

It’s when the sneak thieves are checkin’
They’re checkin the alleys for unlocked doors
And Billy’s sister’s gettin’ frantic ’cause
‘Cause Billy’s sister’s little brother can’t score
It’s when the woman from the dream is
Oh my God! That’s the woman on the floor

Each promise was just one promise more

‘Cause when the city drops into the night
Before the darkness there’s one moment of light
When everything seems clear
The other side, it seems so near
What seemed wrong?
I think it’s gonna be just about right
Before the city drops, the city drops
Into the night

It’s when Teddy’s ghost is on the roof
Beatin’ his drum
And Teddy’s best friend is two blocks East
And he’s makin’ Teddy’s ex-girlfriend come
You know, they mistook Teddy’s blind trust
Just to prove that Teddy was dumb
But listen, you know, I think they are both just scum

‘Cause when the city drops into the night
Before the darkness there’s one moment of light
When everything seems clear
The other side, it seems so near
What seemed wrong?
I think it’s gonna be just about right
Before the city drops, the city drops
Into the night

It’s when the body at the bottom
That body is my own reflection
But it ain’t hip to sink that low
Unless you’re gonna make a resurrection
They’re always gonna come to your door
They’re gonna say, “It’s just a routine inspection”
But what you get when you open your door
What you get is just another injection
And there’s always gonna be one more
With just a little bit less until the next one
They wait in shadows and steal the light from your eyes
To them vision’s just some costly infection
But listen, you should come with me
I’m the fire, I’m the fire’s reflection
I’m just a constant warning to take the other direction

Mister, I am your connection

‘Cause when the city drops into the night
Before the darkness there’s one moment of light
When everything seems clear
The other side, it seems so near
What seemed wrong?
I think it’s gonna be just about right
Before the city drops, the city drops
Into the night

c- 1980 Jim Carroll, Stephen Linsley, Brian Linsley

So far, it’s been a sort of stressful morning here.

Mostly because I have to leave super early tomorrow (6:45AM) to take Bobby McGee and Freddie McFee to Granville for their surgeries, so I need to plan ahead for the pandemonium of tomorrow morning. Plus, I have to quarantine them tonight, beginning at 6PM, in order to keep them from any food or water.

So that means displacing 13-year-old Tommycakes and Mean Frannie McFee from their beloved guestroom all night, so they will be freaking out. I will also have to batten down the hatches in the guestroom — meaning, remove absolutely everything that the kittens can possibly knock over and demolish, as they go bonkers, closed up in the guestroom for 12 hours without any FOOD — which they are seriously fond of…

Also spent about half an hour here, trying to figure out how I want to pay for the remaining balance due on both surgeries tomorrow… I’d rather pay cash but I have too many other bills due right now. But I don’t want to touch any of the credit cards that are set aside for Life in NYC…

A nice thing, though — the Animal Shelter called a couple days ago to set up appointments in October for Billie Jo and Calico to get spayed (they still have to put on a little more weight). And this is great news, because even though I really, really like the new vet in Granville —

–they are excruciatingly expensive. Getting the surgeries done for the females at the Animal Shelter costs about 1/4 of what the vet will charge.

Anyway.

So there was that this morning….

And since I didn’t get home from my evening shift until long after Phil’s livestream was over last night, I listened to it this morning and, wow, was it depressing.

All about George W. Bush’s role in the atrocities of Hurricane Katrina.

Sickening as the whole thing is, it’s a short video and definitely worth watching, even though it will turn your stomach.

And, oddly enough, as usual, Kanye West (the all-time greatest Red Pill-er) was the one stepping up and talking sense back then:

Kanye West: George Bush doesn’t care about Black people (1 min):

Here’s Phil’s replay, in case you missed it — fast forward 16 mins through opening music. The actual video is only 1 hr:

Katrina – August 27th, 2025 (1 hr 18 mins):

*************

So it looks like they are getting ready to publicly take down George W. Bush soon. For 911. For the Iraq War. Probably also for the televised execution of Saddam Hussein. And now for orchestrating Hurricane Katrina.

I have always despised both of the Bush Presidents and everything they stood for, and I find it hard to believe that Bush Jr. hasn’t already been dealt with. as his father was, for Treason and Crimes Against Humanity… still, Phil is basically saying that the guy is still alive and will be taken down in public.

(Similar to the new Obama script he’s working from.)

All of this public execution stuff is just so 1984, isn’t it?

• Yes
• No
• Yes and No

So I’m guessing this is part of THIS from the other day:

But also!!! There’s THIS!!

Yes. Thank you very much. The new psyop that is absolutely everywhere this morning:

The trans vioIence epidemic!

From Jesse Waters last night:

“The left WEAPONIZES trans kids, turning them into culture warriors, and they’ve been turned loose against the Church, schools and Trump. You see it, I see it.”

“Statistically, the trans population has been prone to violence… That’s reality, and if you can’t recognize reality, you are in danger.”

“The trans clan has a militant wing and it’s out for blood. They are TAKING LIVES, defiling churches and freaking everybody out.”

“Politicians should STOP elevating the trans issue as if it’s the Civil Rights struggle of the 21st century.”

Okay.

There are some elements that I agree with in all of those statements above, especially when it comes to children, but I think everyone who is out for their own TRANS blood this morning, is perpetuating something seriously anti-human.

For instance–

Charlie Kirk re-posted this:

If this isn’t an attempt at mind control propaganda of a different sort, then I guess I don’t recognize mind control propaganda when I see it.

Just unbelievable.

And on that happy note, of course–

Today I have my meeting with Sandra, for the update on her meeting with the extremely high-profile Director of our upcoming staged reading for “The Guide to Being Fabulous” Off-Broadway.

Sandra’s life has had nothing whatsoever to do with Satan. She has NEVER “turned her back on God,” or decided to make herself in her own image (that borders on being an insulting joke, thank you very much). She has never lived a life of self-worship. It’s been practically the complete opposite.

The only thing mentioned above that is true for her is that she did take on a new name. However, how many people in the scope of the entirety of human kind have changed their names?

There is a lot that needs to be examined and dismantled about the part the current trans agenda has played in the Color Revolution, but in the meantime, why do we have to trample on the previous generations who lived extraordinary lives as nonviolent trans entertainers?

If we throw absolutely everybody under the bus, we end up with a huge pile of bloody human beings and a bus on top of that bloody pile, just spinning its wheels…

Anyway.

So that’s been my morning so far.

And as I sit here and wait for the plumber to come and drain my hot water heater (that’s already been paid for with my Home Warranty, yay), all I need to do around here is sit at the laptop and get into creativity mode, and work on my novel-in-progress.

Thankfully, the novel is titled “The Curse of Our Profound Disorder” and, just generally, it illustrates a fucking truckload of things that so fucking suck about “being here,” so I guess I’ll be in the right frame of mind…

*********

Meanwhile, in other news–

Here’s this!

From my visit with my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man yesterday–

A photo of his father’s grave. His father’s ashes and the ashes of his father’s first wife are in the grave. And the grave is in a very famous historical cemetery in Tokyo: Tama Bochi.

************

And in Happy Land–

Here’s this!

As we wait for the 2 sold out shows in Baden-Baden, Germany, next week — Nick Cave at one of his incredible Conversations, back in June 2019!! I love his hair here!!

**************

Also–

Johnny Depp’s Immersive Art Show in NYC has now closed.

Wow, what a great exhibit that was! You may recall that when I was in NYC back in November, Wayne bought us tickets to see the exhibit and we had an incredible, emotional time. It was just so good, if also a little DARK. And I am so grateful to Wayne that I got to see it.

*************

And before I go, here’s this!!

Talk about a grim morning around here.

From James Tabor–The Last HOURS of Jesus–What Really Happened? (37 mins):

*************

And that might actually be it for today!! I guess I will get back to work on the novel now.

Have a happy Thursday, wherever you are in the world!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

**************

From my driving-to-town music yesterday!!

Tom Petty!

Such a beautiful previously-unreleased song from his “Wildflowers” album (eventually released posthumously on the “Wildflowers & All the Rest” deluxe edition, in 2020) —

“Something Could Happen”. Tom Petty, 1994. Enjoy, gang.

"Somethiing Could Happen"

I'm not easy to know, my mind can change
My moods come and go
I'm not easy to please, sometimes the woods
Get lost in the trees
Seems like a long time
Nothing much rang true

But I feel like
Something could happen
I feel like
Something could happen with you
Hmm hmm

I drive into town, I walk the mall
Go home and fall down
I've lost a few good friends
It's easy come, easy come again
Sometimes I'm surprised
By the things I do

But I feel like
Something could happen
I feel like
Something could happen with you
Hmm hmm

I need to find some space where I can go
Get out of myself
I'm sure of who I am, unless I feel
Like somebody else
Seems like a long time
I was torn in two

But I feel like
Something could happen
I feel like
Something could happen with you
Hmm hmm

Yeah, I feel like
Something could happen
I feel like
Something could happen with you
Hmm hmm

c - 1994 Tom Petty

Wow, another great morning around here.

It was 47 degrees Fahrenheit when I woke up this morning. So the house was basically all closed up last night, and Kon Tiki of the Great Outdoors slept out in the barn and showed up late for breakfast! (6:45AM)

It absolutely does not feel like late August. Usually, late August is the hottest part of the summer. But I didn’t mind. It was a beautiful morning, regardless.

Today is the anniversary of the death of Greg, the boy I loved almost more than life itself.

51 years gone now.

I was planning to go out to the cemetery tomorrow, but now plumbers are coming to do some work on my hot water tank, and there’s a 4-hour window that I have to wait here for them. So I’m not sure when I’ll get out to the cemetery. I guess we’ll see. That trip to the cemetery is always dicey for me. 51 years is a long time, and each year, obviously, his death gets farther away– and it keeps a part of me — the 14-year-old part of me — stopped in time.

This morning, it occurred to me that I am now officially an old lady missing a young boy…

Anyway. Here are the same 2 photos I always post, year after year, because they are the only 2 photos I have left of Greg. They are from old Junior High School year books– 1973 and 1974.

RIP, baby. I love you.

**************

Okay.

Here are some cool photos of Keith and various other Stones in 1970, enroute to Hamburg, Germany, and onstage there. I’ve not seen these photos before.. I just love them!

**************

Yesterday was a great day!

I was able to go out and take a walk and the sky was just so beautiful. So blue, with those puffy white clouds. And the corn is so tall around here and just so green. It was incredible.

I also got a lot done on The Curse of Our Profound Disorder. So that made me really happy. I think I have maybe about 7K words left to write and the novel will be finished.

I’m at that point in the process where I have no clue what is coming next. I wait for the words to come out of me and then I find out!

Then I did yoga, and another lesson in that new course I’m taking about the Reformation in Europe in the late-15th to mid-16th Centuries.

It was just a really great day.

Currently, on Metrograph, I’m watching a film from 1993, “Fear of a Black Hat.” It’s very funny — but in a dark and very clever way.

**********

Even though I have back-to-back shifts again today, it should still be an easy day: My favorite 95-year-old Japanese man, and then my favorite retired Chaplain who is back from Florida.

And I’ll have time for a quick lunch between shifts, so I’m gonna go here — the Subway I used to go to when my adorable client, Molly, was still alive!

I’m eager to see if my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man remembers his birthday on Sunday. Not only did he have local visitors, but his nephew from NY, whom he hadn’t seen in years, came to visit him yesterday.

Plus, he also got to see photos that some freinds had taken on a recent visit to Tokyo. My client’s boyhood home is actually a museum now, and his freinds took pictures of it!! His dad designed the house and a local, well-known architect built it. It is a classic Japanese-style home, built in 1934.

I’ve seen many old photos of the house from back during the war years, when my client and his family lived there (often with Military officers occupying it during the war ). I’m hoping that maybe his freinds have given him copies of their photos — of how the house looks now as a museum!!

If you happen to go to Tokyo, the address for the home is 4-7-6 Kinuta, Setagaya-ku, Tokyo. 

*******

And here’s this!!!

As we wait for the 2 sold-out shows in Baden-Baden, Germany, next week!

************

And on that note!

I seriously gotta scoot because I’m gonna be late!!!

Enjoy your Wednesday, wherever you are in the world!!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

**************

I leave you with this.

A huge Top 40 hit from 1972, by Beverly Bremers.

For Greg.

“Don’t Say You Don’t Remember.” Enjoy, gang.

"Don't Say You Don't Remember"

We wrote on the corner of the table:
"This is the only one that will last.
For you, for me, for always,
Forever was meant for us", but for us it went by too fast.

Don't say you don't remember
I'll never love anyone else
If you say you don't remember
How can I go on living
(How can I go on living)
With myself?

When we meet you always call me "baby."
How could it be that you forgot my name?
Before you go, be honest.
I belonged to you and believed that you felt the same.

Don't say you don't remember
I'll never love anyone else
If you say you don't remember
How can I go on living
(How can I go on living)
With myself?

People never stay the same forever.
Somebody always loves a little more.
Tonight I need to love you.
Together we'll find a way to make tomorrow worth living for.

Don't say you don't remember
I'll never love anyone else
If you say you don't remember
How can I go on living
(How can I go on living)
With myself?

 c- 1971 Estelle E. Levitt / Helen D. Miller