Tag Archives: Nick Cave

You’re Not Gonna Believe This!

Well, yesterday’s shift with my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man was an ordeal from start to finish. (If you missed yesterday’s post, it is here.)

I was expecting the repairman to be there by the time I arrived, but he was not.

And when I went inside the house, my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man was already awake. Dressed and everything. AND very upset. And long story short — he had chased the repairman away. He had completely forgotten that the repairman was coming: “Why didn’t anyone tell me he was coming??” But he was cognizant enough to know that his family was behind sending the repairman , so he spent the rest of the day saying various versions of “can’t they wait till I’m dead? I’ll be dead in 2 minutes!” and “let them do all these repairs after I’m dead! What’s they’re hurry?? I’ll be dead in 2 minutes!!”

And then he said a whole lot of other really not nice things about his family. Over and over and over and over. He was essentially traumatized. So I was up to my eyeballs in it from the moment I got there.

And then, after I’d only been there about 20 minutes, lo & behold my supervisor arrived. She usually stops in every other month to collect my daily paperwork from the shifts, so it wasn’t a bad surprise or anything, but I wasn’t expecting her. I met her out on the back porch to forewarn her about what my client was dealing with, etc., and we discussed that for a minute and then she said (!!)–

SHE: “Well, I’m actually here today to give you these.”

At that point, I finally became cognizant of the fact that she had a huge bouquet of flowers in her arms.

SHE (continued): “You’ve been chosen Caregiver of the Month!”

I was astounded, gang! I honestly never thought I would be selected for anything like that, since I think of myself as a caregiver who’s always calling, texting, and asking everyone to please cut back on my hours!

Wow. Honestly, I was just thrilled. And they also gave me a really beautiful card–

CARD: “Not everyone can do what you do but anyone can see that what you do makes a wonderful difference. Congrats, Marilyn. We’re blessed to have you on our team. Thank you from all of us!”

Talk about extremes, though, right? I really was just thrilled by this — and those FLOWERS!! And meanwhile, I had my traumatized client to try to sooth, and his family from Florida, and the private nurse, texting me endlessly all day.

But, really. Wow. My whole heart was just smiling.

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On a similar theme —

This evening, I have another shift with that wonderful woman who lives in the enormous, love-filled, split-level house in the hills behind the Bryn Du Mansion — the house wherein you need a map to find the bathroom .

The last time I saw her, I discovered that she had taken a really bad turn in her cognitive abilities. And I was updated yesterday by my supervisor, that the client has gotten worse and that hospice has been called in.

So this is very heartbreaking. Now we are all basically waiting for her to die. She is such a sweet woman, gang. And before her illness, she had been a college English professor. Her bookshelves are lined with the same novels that I remember reading back when I lived in NYC. Intellectual stuff — mostly European, from the 20th Century and earlier — not popular mass market paperbacks.

Anyway. I then found out that at least for the month of November, they have made me a regular caregiver for her — on Saturday nights. So I will still have my 2 days off each week, and Thanksgiving off, too, but I’ll be working double-shifts on Saturdays as we just sort of wait for this lovely lady to die.

Ouch. That hurts the heart so much, right? Whenever I help her into bed at night, at the end of my shift, she really gently says: “What is your name again?”

“Marilyn.”

“Marilyn, thank you so much for taking care of me.”

I’m really going to miss her. So I want to make every moment with her last as long as it can.

And I look at my flowers now, gang, and my heart still manages to smile.

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Okay!

Here’s this!

Keith wearing a hat at some point:

And the Stones in 1968!

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And today is the anniversary of 2 really sad things — the death of my beautiful cat, Bunny, back in 2016. And the death of my best friend in the world, Paul Martin, back in 1999.

Here’s a painting of Bunny that Valerie in Brooklyn made for me when Bunny was still very much alive:

And here’s Paul, sometime in the late 1980s, when he was visiting for Thanksgiving, when I was living on E.12th Street in the East Village (NYC):

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And the big news!!

“LIVE GOD” new live album by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds.

Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds have a LIVE album coming out on December 5th!!

“…a stunning testament to The Wild God Tour, which wowed audiences across the UK, Europe and North America in 2024 and ‘25, and which travels to Australia and New Zealand in 2026….

… The expansive tracklist includes performances of the entirety of the acclaimed 2024 studio album Wild God, as well as mind-blowing versions of catalogue favourites, such as ‘From Her To Eternity’, ‘Papa Won’t Leave You, Henry’ and ‘Into My Arms’.

The album is available to pre-order now on Premium Double Gatefold LP, Double CD and Digital. Pre-orders from the Artist Store will also include a limited edition photo print signed by Nick Cave – while stocks last. “

I think this is the photo they’re talking about. Warren Ellis posted it to his Instagram page yesterday:

I think this video is the song that is the first single from the album:

The video was made while on tour in Columbus — OOPS! Of course, I meant PARIS! So easy to confuse the two cities…

And in other Nick Cave news–

He sent out a new Red Hand File this morning, wherein he addresses some questions asked by a fan, but he also goes on to give the fan advice about addictions. Nick says, in part:

“…You may tell yourself that you are managing your life – your job, your relationship, your children’s well-being – but if you are, as you say, addicted to ice, then the wheels have already come off. I say this with all the love and respect in the world, as someone who was hooked on heroin and amphetamines for twenty years – addict to addict – you need to stop fucking around and get clean.…”

What he had to say in full about addiction and getting clean was really good. You can read it HERE.

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And now, I have a few hours before I have to leave for my shift with that lovely lady who is slowly leaving us.

I have all my monthly bills to pay here, then I think I might take a walk. Think about life versus the absence thereof.

Enjoy your Thursday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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I leave you with this.

The first time I went out to Nevada to meet my birth father, I had brought along a cassette of Bob Dylan’s Blood on the Tracks.

The album came out in 1975, and oddly enough, the first time I heard it was in the mental hospital (in summer 1975). One of the other patients had just gotten it as a gift, and we were all listening to it together on the record player in the Music Therapy building.

All of us were teenagers, and we were all really liking the album a lot. But suddenly the music therapist came sweeping in and abruptly shut off the record player. She said, “I’m sorry but I just can’t stand this! It’s not music!!”

Eventually, owning my own copy of this album and playing it whenever I wanted to was a type of freedom for me.

I’m not sure why I brought that specific cassette along with me when I went to meet my birth dad (in 1988). However.

My dad lived in a double-wide trailer in the desert, not too far from Reno. One morning, I was in the kitchen, washing the breakfast dishes and listening to the cassette on his tape player.

And then my father came in from outside and said, “Wow, what is that? I love it!” Worth waiting for — that moment in time.

The song that was playing at that moment was “Shelter from the Storm.”

So, you know, hanging in there and pursuing dreams has always been a really great thing for me. Regardless of how things go or end up.

So I leave you with this.

“Shelter from the Storm”, 1975. Bob Dylan, Blood on the Tracks. Enjoy, gang.

"Shelter From the Storm"

'Twas in another lifetime, one of toil and blood
When blackness was a virtue the road was full of mud
I came in from the wilderness, a creature void of form
Come in, she said
I'll give ya shelter from the storm
And if I pass this way again, you can rest assured
I'll always do my best for her, on that I give my word
In a world of steel-eyed death, and men who are fighting to be warm
Come in, she said
I'll give ya shelter from the storm
Not a word was spoke between us, there was little risk involved
Everything up to that point had been left unresolved
Try imagining a place where it's always safe and warm
Come in, she said
I'll give ya shelter from the storm
I was burned out from exhaustion, buried in the hail
Poisoned in the bushes an' blown out on the trail
Hunted like a crocodile, ravaged in the corn
Come in, she said
I'll give ya shelter from the storm
Suddenly I turned around and she was standin' there
With silver bracelets on her wrists and flowers in her hair
She walked up to me so gracefully and took my crown of thorns
Come in, she said
I'll give ya shelter from the storm
Now there's a wall between us, somethin' there's been lost
I took too much for granted, I got my signals crossed
Just to think that it all began on an uneventful morn
Come in, she said
I'll give ya shelter from the storm
Well, the deputy walks on hard nails and the preacher rides a mount
But nothing really matters much, it's doom alone that counts
And the one-eyed undertaker, he blows a futile horn
Come in, she said
I'll give ya shelter from the storm
I've heard newborn babies wailin' like a mournin' dove
And old men with broken teeth stranded without love
Do I understand your question, man, is it hopeless and forlorn
Come in, she said
I'll give ya shelter from the storm
In a little hilltop village, they gambled for my clothes
I bargained for salvation and she gave me a lethal dose
I offered up my innocence I got repaid with scorn
Come in, she said
I'll give ya shelter from the storm
Well, I'm livin' in a foreign country but I'm bound to cross the line
Beauty walks a razor's edge, someday I'll make it mine
If I could only turn back the clock to when God and her were born
Come in, she said
I'll give ya shelter from the storm

c - 1975 Bob Dylan

Sorry I’m Late (Again!)

I was up late (for me, anyway) listening to Phil last night, so I didn’t get out of bed until 5AM. And it only takes about 2 hours to feed everyone and clean up after them, etc., etc. (meaning, of course, CATS)…

And then, of course, I have to go back to bed with my cup o’ joe and then meditate.

And when that’s all done, I lie there and think: It’s my day off! I don’t want to get out of bed!!

But, eventually, of course, I need more coffee, so I get out of bed…

And now I’m here.

Me, as a brunette again but with no coffee

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The furnace guy is coming sometime this afternoon, which means I want to vacuum downstairs before he gets here, so that it doesn’t look like 723 cats live here.

I’m guessing those death-defying basement stairs will keep his mind off my many cats, though (yes, I’m getting a home improvement grant to get new basement stairs, but my mortgage is with the USDA RD, and as we know so well by now, the GOVERNMENT in DC has SHUT DOWN….. so no $$ until they go back to work). (Which means, I’m not getting anywhere near those stairs until they’re fixed, but furnace guys tend to be braver than me.)

[Just a reminder of what I don’t want to look like, with or without brown hair.]

Anyway.

Other than vacuuming, I guess I will be working at the laptop from my kitchen table until the furnace guy gets here. And I hate working from my kitchen table, so I hope he comes early (methinks I might be cranky today!!).

All righty!!

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Here’s this!

Another from Phyllis Stein’s Instagram page!

Lou & Rachel:

And here’s this — from Lou & Rachel’s heyday!! (I can remember so well, gang, being 15, in my new bedroom in our new house, listening to this awesome song on my stereo and, as always, dreaming of someday living in NYC and being a singer/songwriter…)

“Coney Island, Baby”, 1975, a great song from the great album of the same name!!

“Coney Island Baby”

You know, man, when I was a young man in high school
You believe in or not, that I wanted to play football for the coach
All those older guys, they said he was mean and cruel
But you know, I wanted to play football, for the coach
They said I was to little too light weight to play line-back
So I say I’m playing right-in
Wanted to play football for the coach
Cause, you know some day, man, you gotta stand up straight
Unless you’re gonna fall
Then you’re gonna die
And the straightest dude I ever knew
Was standing right for me, all the time
So I had to play football for the coach
And I wanted to play football for the coach
When you’re all alone and lonely in your midnight hour
And you find that your soul, it has been up for sale

And you getting to think about, all the things you done
And you getting to hate just about everything

But remember the princess who lived on the hill
Who loved you even though she knew you was wrong
And right now she just might come shining through
and the glory of love, glory of love
Glory of love, just might come through

And all your two-bit friends have gone and ripped you off
They’re talking behind your back saying, man
you are never going to be a human being
And you start thinking again
About all those things that you’ve done
And who it was and who it was
And all the different things you made every different scene

Ah, but remember that the city is a funny place
Something like a circus or a sewer
And just remember, different people have peculiar tastes
And the Glory of love, the glory of love
The glory of love, might see you through
Yeah, but now, now
Glory of love, the glory of love
The glory of love, might see you through
Glory of love, ah, huh, huh, the glory of love
Glory of love, glory of love
Glory of love, now, glory of love, now
Glory of love, now, now, now, glory of love
Glory of love, give it to me now, glory of love see you through
Oh, my Coney Island baby, now
(I’m a Coney Island baby, now)

I’d like to send this one out for Lou and Rachel
And the Lord appeared and he has one made of two
Coney Island baby
Man, I swear, I’d give the whole thing up for you

c- 1975 – Lou Reed

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And here’s Phil’s replay if you missed it last night. (The first 51 minutes is about the silver market — currently at $53.44 an ounce. The intel on Hegseth starts right after that.)

Hegseth – October 15th, 2025 (1hr )

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As if life weren’t exciting enough!!!

It’s time for the Halloween sale over at Cave Things!!

Which gives you yet another chance to buy me that “Up Jumped the Devil” milk jug that I really, really love!! (And would love to have!!)

Only $55 right now (+ ($)trillions in US shipping):

And lest we forget — it’s named after one of my TOP 5 all-time favorite Nick Cave songs!!

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And in other semi-terrific Nick Cave news!!

New documentary ‘The Veiled World Of Nick Cave’ to explore his “enduring influence and unique impact”

Sadly, this is a one-off special “later this year” on SKY TV, which means that we will not be able to see it here in the Hinterlands…

Me, most days, but especially when I can’t see a Nick Cave one-off documentary on SKY TV.

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BUT!!

Here’s the view outside my bedroom window this morning!! (I traded this view for living anywhere remotely near where I could access SKY TV.)

This is called a valley in the foothills of Appalachia, an average distance of 3,549 miles from SKY TV.

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And actually, I think that’s it for now.

I’m gonna tidy up around here, so that I can sit at my kitchen table and WAIT. But it’s still a day off, so that’s cool.

Enjoy your Thursday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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Okay, gang, I’m gonna leave you with this, because it popped up on my playlist while driving home yesterday.

Not only do I actually love this song, but it is the opening theme song to my in-progress screen-adaptation of Neptune & Surf (titled “Neptune Avenue”). Which takes place in Brooklyn & NYC in the 1920s and the 1950s. (I’m guessing that some day I’ll get enough time to finish the adaptation. We shall see.)

Oh, and lest you forget!! My primary inspiration for Neptune & Surf was Hubert Selby, Jr.s’ now classic novel, Last Exit to Brooklyn. And when my book came out (to incredibly wonderful reviews), I wrote to Hubert (nicknamed Cubby) to give him a copy of my book. And he wrote back, and afterwards we became friends until he died. From Cubby:

And here’s the theme song from “Neptune Avenue”.

“On the Sidewalks of New York”, written in I894. But this is Nat King Cole’s version, 1963. Enjoy, gang.

“On The Sidewalks Of New York”

East side, West side
All around the town
The tots sang ‘Ring-a-Rosie
London Bridge is falling down!’
Boys and girls together
Me and Mamie O’Rorke
Tripped the light fantastic
On the sidewalks of New York

Down in front of Casey’s
Old brown wooden stoop
On a summer’s evening
We formed a merry group;
Boys and girls together
We would sing and waltz
While the “Ginnie” played the organ
On the sidewalks of New York

East side, West side
All around the town
The tots sang ‘Ring-a-Rosie
London Bridge is falling down!’
Boys and girls together
Me and Mamie O’Rorke
Tripped the light fantastic
On the sidewalks of New York

East side, West side
All around the town
The tots sang ‘Ring-a-Rosie
London Bridge is falling down!’
Boys and girls together
Me and Mamie O’Rorke
Tripped the light fantastic
On the sidewalks of New York

c – 1894 Charles B. Lawlor, James W. Blake

Yesterday was perfect!

So, not only did the local handyman come and put the bolts on the 2 storage closet doors (yay!)…

KEEP OUT!

And not only did I get some yoga done, and study another lecture in the Protestant Reformation course — and it was pretty horrific: The St. Bartholomew’s Day Massacre of 1572 ...

But I also got SO MUCH reading/editing done on The Curse of Our Profound Disorder. Finally. I have only 5 chapters left to read, and that’s only 88 pages, total.

And I’m really liking the book, gang. Although it certainly will NOT be everybody’s cup of tea. I don’t even have a clue what the target audience might be for this book. Perhaps the publisher will have a clue (assuming she likes the rest of the book).

But what matters most to me right now, is that I am liking it — and also consistently feeling surprised by it. Especially since I now know how the novel ends. So, reading it now from the beginning, knowing how it ends — I’m sort of always feeling, like: Whoa

It is so hard to describe this book, gang. It basically takes place in a total of 4 days, but 1 and a 1/2 days happen in 1984, and then the other 3 and a 1/2 days happen in 1986. But the entire book covers 26 years in stream of consciousness memories (of the protagonist).

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Okay.

Well, the next couple days will be intense. I have to work double shifts back-to-back, and every shift is with a client that has cognitive impairment to one degree or another.

HOWEVER!

I got a text that my new glasses are ready! Yay!

So I’m going to take my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man for a drive to go pick up my new glasses. (He only lives 10 minutes from there, whereas I live 30 miles from there.)

Anyway, I’m very excited. I will be able to see again. Especially while driving at night, and both tonight and tomorrow night, I will be driving after dark. Such a relief that the glasses are ready. (5 days early.)

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All right, here’s this!

While driving the other day near the train tracks, I was humming the old folk song “I’ve Been Working on the Railroad” and I suddenly remembered that in my early days on the folk club circuit in NYC, I used to sing a song I wrote to the tune of “I’ve Been Working on the Railroad.” But it was about making my trip out to California when I was 18. It was always a big hit and everyone would laugh.

This was in the early days, when it was just me and my guitar.

I couldn’t recall the lyrics anymore, so I went and dug it out of my files and it’s funny how much of that trip I had totally forgotten about. Well, it all came back to me. The song is funny, but what a dreadful trip that was. It took about 4 or 5 days.

Here you go:

I Went Off to California (I’ve Been Workin’ on the Railroad)

I went off to California
Left my world at home
I put nothing in my suitcase
But some vintage Rolling Stones
I decided to go Greyhound
Due to quite restricted funds
I was doomed to tear my hair out
Before my trip was done.

I was feelin’ low, sittin’ all alone
In the Greyhound Bus depot-oh-oh
I learned quite a lot ‘tween the hookers and the cops
In an hour in Chi-ca-go.
Dinah don’t ya know, Dinah don’t ya know
It was dawn in Chic-ca-go-oh-oh
And the things that are alive at a quarter after five
Dinah, you don’t wanna know

Next, we pulled into Nebraska
Downtown Omaha
A man who swore that he was Jesus
Was among the things I saw
I was feelin’ pretty hungry
But runnin’ outta dough
I made it all the way to Cheyenne
On seven Or-e-os.

Dinah don’t ya cry, Dinah don’t ya cry
‘though you feel you want to die-i-i
When the man who’s next to you bathed in 1942
And puts his hand between your thighs –
And sings out: “Fee, fi, fiddle-y-i-oh
If you hold me way down low-oh-oh-oh
Fee, fi, fiddle-y-i-oh!
You’ll fceel my love begin to grow!”

By the time we got to Reno – 3 o’clock A.M.
I was pretty near a coma
From fighting off the men
All the way to Salt Lake City
A stranger, good and bombed
Cursed me without reservation
For the years he’d served in ‘Nam.

Dinah don’t ya know, it’s a lonely way to go
And the Greyhound makes me blue-ooh-ooh
But I think of brighter days, when I’ll find a better way
And a house in Malibu.

Though I went to California,
Many years ago
I can still recall the nausea
And the memories of the road
Now I live in New York City
I left the Coast behind
‘though New York is dark and dirty
I’m glad I changed my mind.

Dinah don’t ya know, Dinah don’t ya know
It’s a rough and tumble tow-ow-ow-n
But a man can hold you low and a love can start to grow
And he’ll turn your luck around.

Oh, someone’s in the kitchen with Dinah
Someone’s in the kitchen it’s true-ooh and they’re
Savin’ up their pennies in a cookie jar
For a house in Malibu
And singing, “Fee, fi, fiddle-y-i-oh
You can feel my lovin’ grow-oh-oh-oh
Fee, fi, fiddle-y-i-oh!
When you’re strummin’ on my old banjo!”


“I’ve Been Workin’ On the Railroad” music – © Public Domain
“I Went Off to California” lyrics – © 1981 - Marilyn Jaye Lewis

If you aren’t from the States and don’t know this old folk song, here it is:

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Okay.

If you live in Tokyo, here’s this! (I highly recommend it. It was very engrossing.)

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And while I was reading/editing at my desk yesterday, at one point, I got up from my chair and discovered this cutie on the bed behind me!

Calico!

And a couple of hours later, I discovered this!! Too cute. I had absolutely no idea they were all there, right behind me.

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And here’s this!

From Instagram.

Just because it’s a truly classic Nick Cave photo that I have always loved!

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And I’m thinking that’s actually it for today.

Enjoy your Friday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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Okay!

I leave you with this. Play it LOUD.

From every single one of my playlists over the last several years, as it turns out! It keeps popping up! (I love this song.)

Rod Stewart’s 1991 classic “Rhythm of My Heart” from the album Vagabond Heart. Enjoy, gang.

“Rhythm Of My Heart”

Across the street, the river runs
Down in the gutter, life is slipping away
Let me still exist, in another place
Running under cover of a helicopter blade
Flames are getting higher in effigy
Burning down the bridges of my memory
Love may still be alive somewhere, someway
Where they’re downing only deer, a hundred steel towns away

Oh, the rhythm of my heart
Is beating like a drum
With the words, “I love you” rolling off my tongue
No, never will I roam
For I know my place is home
Where the ocean meets the sky, I’ll be sailing

Photographs and kerosene
Light up my darkness
Light it up! Light it up!
I can still feel the touch
Of your thin blue jeans
Running down the alley, I’ve got my eyes all over you, baby
Oh, baby

Oh, the rhythm of my heart
Is beating like a drum
With the words, “I love you” rolling off my tongue
No, never will I roam
For I know my place is home
Where the ocean meets the sky, I’ll be sailing
I’ll be sailing
I’ll be sailing
I will

Oh, I’ve got lightning in my veins
Shifting like the handle of a slot machine
Love may still exist in another place
I’m just yanking back the handle
No expression on my face

Oh, the rhythm of my heart
Is beating like a drum
With the words, “I love you” rolling off my tongue
No, never will I roam
For I know my place is home
Where the ocean meets the sky, I’ll be sailing
Oh, the rhythm of my heart
Is beating like a drum
With the words, “I love you” rolling off my tongue
No, never will I roam
For I know my place is home
Where the ocean meets the sky, I’ll be sailing
The rhythm of my heart
Is beating like a drum
With the words, “I love you”
Rolling off my tongue
No, never will I roam
For I know my place is home
Where the ocean meets the sky, I’ll be sailing
Ooh, hoo-hoo, ooh

c – 1991 John Joseph Capek, Marc Wallace Jordan

Okay, I’m Back!

Yesterday was long but not so terrible!

And it was made even longer by the fact that I had to get my groceries, etc., after my really long shift, because it was the only time I would be able to get to that part of town until next week.

But, anyway. It’s over and it wasn’t so terrible. Yay.

Today, I not only head back to see my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man and most likely, take him to lunch here:

But also, as soon as I get back home, a local handyman is coming over to install bolts to both of my storage closet doors, because the cats are able to let themselves into both of these closets and they destroy everything.

I’ve been having to keep them closed with duct tape, which is really ugly. Plus, whenever I actually need to get into one of these closets (which is often), I have to deal with ripping off the duct tape, tearing paint off the door, and then reapplying more duct tape. So today will be really exciting for me! Not so much for the cats…

Cat proof. Finally.

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Here’s this!

Keith! Twice!!

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Here are a couple of interesting videos. One short, one long:

From Ross K. Nichols:

“Could the same logic Singer applies to Huff’s Christian apologetic views be applied to Tovia Singer’s Jewish views? Are the views of these two men really so different after all? Dive in to discover how Huff and Singer stumble into a shared pitfall.”

What Do Wes Huff and Tovia Singer BOTH Get Wrong? (5 mins):

And one re-posted by James Tabor (from the BBC, 1962):

T.E. Lawrence 1888 – 1935 (1 hr):

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This was really great. Prime “young Tom Petty” attitude!! I loved this.

Originally on MTV, 1985.

Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers Southern Accents documentary (30 mins):

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Here’s this–

Finally!! It will be opening in movie theaters in the US! (I’m guessing this will involve another 1-hour trip to the movie theater & back with my dear friend Kara!! We shall see!)

[To refresh your memory — Kara, in our hotel room, when we went to see Nick Cave & the Bad Sees, back in May.]

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And here’s this!

Remember when Nick Cave recently donated 2,000 books to charity? (I think, but I am not certain, that these books were merely the ones on his night table and he no longer had room for his coffee cup…) Anyway–

And while we’re at it–

Here’s just one of the MANY great songs on the Let Love In album from 1994, “Do You Love Me?” (I could probably listen to this song over and over and over and — oh, wait! I already have!!):

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And speaking of Nick Cave–

He sent out a very interesting Red Hand File yesterday, that mostly discussed his day. And cereal. He says, in part:

“…the first letter I see is yours, Sammie. “Check your privilege,” you say. I close my eyes, lean back, and do precisely that. I reflect on how music, which started as a hobby, became my calling- my avocation turned vocation- as love and need became intertwined, and how profound a privilege it was to be in this position. I think about all of it, my job, my friends, my family, and how it all could have been so different had fortune not been on my side – extraordinary luck, cosmic happenstance perhaps, the kindness and generosity of the world. I take none of this for granted, Sammie, and in the back of the cab my heart flows with gratitude….”

You can read it in full HERE.

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Okay, so on Monday — as far as “reading the novel over from page one to the end”– actually, Sandra called me, in need of an emergency “bio” update, for her upcoming theater performance in NYC at the end of October.

It took a couple of hours, and by the time I was done with it, I didn’t get to make much headway in proofing The Curse of Our Profound Disorder. I’m only 28 (!!) pages into it, but I have tomorrow off, so we shall see!

Meanwhile… if you are interested in Sandra’s amazing career!

Sandra Caldwell
Bio


“A true entertainer in every sense of the word…” - NY Times
“A black trans woman of immense poise, beauty, and – pardon me, I can’t help it – charm…” – Variety
“A provocative entertainer combined with powerful vocal skills, Sandra Caldwell has it all…” –Toronto Star

Sandra Caldwell is a celebrated African American actress, singer, and writer whose 45+ year career extends throughout the worlds of film, television, and theater.

Starting out as a jazz singer – her first love – she performed with top orchestras in some of the world’s finest venues, including the Montreal Jazz Festival, the Montreux Jazz Festival, the Newport Jazz Festival, and the White House Jazz on the Lawn series. In her early days, she was a fixture in the café society set in numerous nightspots across the country, also hosting the radio show, Sunday Afternoons with Sandra Caldwell on Jazz FM91 in Toronto.

On television, Sandra has been seen in recurring roles in The Gilded Age (HBO, seasons 1/3; Dir. Deborah Kampeire), Fantasma (HBO; Dir. Julio Torres), as well as in High Maintenance, The Book of Negroes, 19-2, Soul Food, and, as a series regular, in Little Men. She had guest-starring roles in such hit shows as Law & Order: SVU and Rookie Blue. Sandra was a featured performer in many TV movies, including Good Fences with Whoopie Goldberg, and Disney’s The Cheetah Girls.

Sandra’s film work includes The Jackie Shane Story (Dir. Michael Engle), Any Other Way (Bangor Films; Dir. Michael Mabbott), along with memorable work in past films, such as Milo & Millie, Murder at 1600, Shall We Dance, and Maya Angelou’s directorial debut, Down in the Delta.

In theater, Sandra appeared in the musical Buddy: The Buddy Holly Story (Shubert Theater); the Original Workshop for Ragtime (Live Ent. Productions); the drama Coming Through Slaughter (Necessary Angel Theater, Toronto); and was nominated for a Dora Award, Canada’s highest theater award, for her work in Duke Ellington's Sophisticated Ladies (Sterling Productions, Toronto).

Notably, in 2017 in the NY Times, Sandra came out publicly as transgender while in rehearsals for her transgender leading role in the critically acclaimed "Charm" (MCC Theater).

Additionally, in 2020, she spoke candidly about transgender representation in the media, in the “enlightening and heartfelt” (- LA Times) Netflix documentary “Disclosure: Trans Lives on Screen” (Dir. Sam Feder).

A bona fide heroine of today’s LGBTQ+ generation, Sandra’s long awaited self-penned, one-woman show, “The Guide to Being Fabulous”, a jazz musical that tells the real story of Sandra Caldwell’s unparalleled life, was presented, in 2023, by Soulpepper Theatre in Toronto.

From a young runaway, panhandling on the streets of DC, to the Moulin Rouge in Paris, to her role as Mama Morton in “Chicago” at the Stratford Festival (“4-Stars!” – Toronto Star), she has done it all and endured it all, without losing sight of her comedic timing, her turn of phrase, or her compassion.

Yes, an entertainer in every sense of the word; ladies and gentlemen, we give you… Miss Sandra Caldwell

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And now, I guess I’ll scoot!

Have a wonder-filled Wednesday, wherever you are in the world!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

**********

I leave you with this!

Late-night listening music!

Yes, after my long day of caregiving, I practically went straight to bed and just hung out there, watching the rain outside the windows as the sun went down. I did a little French. But mostly I just laid there.

And then I listened to this, in the dark, over and over and over…

From Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, “Sins of My Youth”, from the album Hypnotic Eye, 2014.

So beautiful. Enjoy, gang.

“Sins Of My Youth”

You will find no wicked way in me
Look me over, you will see
You will find no weary change
I’m worn and wounded,
but still the same

Whoa……
Let me tell you the truth
I love you more
Than the sins of my youth

When the past gets up in your face
Memories slide out of place
All those things that were hidden away
Ain’t so bad in the light of day

Whoa……
Let me tell you the truth
I love you more
Than the sins of my youth

You say you love me
wish you liked me more
I’m no angel that’s for sure
Said you forgave me,
each time I was caught
But you still paint me as somethin’ I’m not

Whoa……
Let me tell you the truth
I love you more
Than the sins of my youth

I love you more
Than the sins of my youth

c – 2014 Tom Petty

Here’s hoping for a beautiful day

Yesterday was — I don’t know — intense?

I didn’t really move from my desk yesterday, except to do yoga at the end of the day. I forced myself to even do that because I knew my body needed it. I was not 100%. (I am fine today, so I think the yoga helped.)

Luckily, my brain was fine yesterday so I was able to do some tweaking to the final chapter of the novel (like, about 6 hours’ worth of tweaking on 5 pages). I will take one more look at the ending this morning, before beginning the process of reading the manuscript from start to finish.

This is it, btw! 253 pages, just under 75K words.

As I was editing yesterday, I kept looking at the clock because I was worrying about my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man. I had called in sick yesterday, and I kept wondering how his day was going with a different caregiver (he doesn’t usually do too well with strangers). But I was convincing myself that everything was going okay with him.

And then, after what would have been about 2 hours into my shift with him, the Agency called me. Apologizing for calling me when I’m home sick. But the new caregiver couldn’t get my client to answer the front door. She couldn’t get in. For over 2 hours. He won’t answer the phone. They are ready to call Welfare Services to go in and make sure he is all right…

For fuck’s sake. The caregiver hadn’t even read the client’s case notes. He never, ever, EVER answers the front door. You have to let yourself in the backway. He was probably still sound asleep in bed, and without his hearing aids in, he can’t hear anything — not the doorbell, not the phone ringing.

Instead of standing there and panicking for 2 hours, read the fucking notes! Jeez.

Well, anyway. That kind of upset me…

And I had to keep reminding myself that I have my own life, too, and to re-focus on the manuscript.

When an hour went by and they hadn’t called me back, I knew everything was fine and I could just move forward. But it is hard for me — especially with that specific client — to create a line where my private life starts.

But I am at least that much closer to sending the manuscript off to the publisher. I am really, really curious to see how the book reads now, from start to finish.

**************

Okay.

Here’s this!

Keith, backstage in Kansas City, 1981!

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And here’s this!!

In case you forgot!!

Yes. The coolest fucker.

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And here’s this.

This is actually part of what James Tabor talked about in his lecture during the New Testament Conference on the Historical Jesus last weekend.

Did Jesus Predict His Suffering and Death Or Was that Added After the Fact? (44 mins):

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And honestly, I think that’s it for now.

I want to get back to the ending of the book before I have to leave for my shift with the retired Minister and his lovely cat & wife! (But I have tomorrow off again (!!), and then after that, I begin a really insane month of caregiving.)

Oh! But I texted my Q-following friend and told her: help! I need something fun to look forward to! So on Saturday, Oct. 18th, after my shift, she and I are meeting for lunch HERE!! Yay!

Okay! Enjoy your Sunday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

**************

I leave you with this, for a beautiful slow moving Sunday.

From the album, Hypnotic Eye, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, 2014.

“Full Grown Boy”. Enjoy, gang.

“Full Grown Boy”

I like to move on sure and easy
Like a cat creeps through the grass
And the full moon seems to know me
‘Cause I’ve found myself at last
And I’m a full-grown boy

And there’s laughter on the hillside
From voices far away
How am I gonna tell her that I love her?
When this might not be the day
And I’m a full-grown boy

Yeah
My mind floats away
Yeah
And I’m changing every day

Can you see her in the firelight
Hear how soft and low she sings
How am I gonna tell her that I love her?
When words don’t mean a thing
And I’m a full-grown boy

c- 2014 Tom Petty

An Unexpected Saturday

Yesterday was strange as heck, gang.

If you saw my post from yesterday morning, I mentioned being really tired.

Well, it spiraled down from there. And even though my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man had an INCREDIBLE time at our lunch at the clubhouse, the shift absolutely wore me out. Plus, driving to his house, then the drive to the clubhouse, then back to his house, then back to my own house — 100 miles of driving for me. (On top of being responsible for the wellbeing of a 95-year-old man for 4 hours…)

By the time I got home yesterday, I could barely move and I could barely think straight. (Oh, and LUCKILY (!) my lawncare guy was here when I got home, trimming my hedges for the end of the season. And I was then forced to try to converse with him coherently for a few minutes. Yay!)

Anyway. Luckily, he’s spoken to me before, so he knows I’m not usually out of my fucking mind.

Well, as the evening went on, and after I had dinner, etc., I still wasn’t any better so I decided last night that I’d better call off for today and give the Agency time to find a replacement for me for this morning.

So I have today off.

I feel a lot better today, but I’m moving really slowly. Trying to regain my focus. My life beyond being a caregiver. And I think the “feeling better” part comes from knowing I can just sit at my desk today and do some tweaking on the novel.

Now I don’t have to be anywhere until late tomorrow afternoon, when I go to my shift with the retired Minister and his wife (and cat).

Oh, and remember how, yesterday, I had made up my mind to tell the Agency next week that I need to drop that one account that I just don’t have the stamina for?

Guess who contacted the Agency, saying what a wonderful caregiver I was? That I was so gentle and patient? Yes. The very same client.

Ack!!

So, obviously, that’s beautiful. But now I can’t really tell the Agency to remove them from my schedule…

**************

So on we go.

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Okay, well at least there is THIS!!

From Instagram this morning!! Wow.

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And now I’m going to go down to the kitchen and get another cup o’Joe —

–and take a look at this novel that’s on my laptop!! (and btw — I got an email from the publisher yesterday, saying that she was “very excited to review this manuscript”, so I really wanna get at it. And get it off to her!)

Okay. Enjoy your Saturday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visting.

I love you guys. See ya!

***************

I leave you with this. Just’ cause it still keeps me hanging in there. Okay. See ya.

Aiming for another triumph today!

Okay, so I have the day off today, but I have chores and stuff to do around this crazy cat-filled house, so I’m trying not to get frustrated.

As always, I really, really, really just want to focus on the novel. I made such great progress on Tuesday.

I am so close to writing “The End”, gang. So we shall see.

*********

First off!

I found the best pair of glasses at the eye place yesterday! I just love them. They are those kind that seem almost rimless — like you’re not even wearing glasses.

They will be ready on October 14th! Finally, I will be able to stop trying to see things through a pair of cracked lenses. Yay.

Unfortunately, I had to choose between getting a blue-light-blocking filter, or an anti-glare filter. And since I have a really intense stigmatism, I had to get the anti-glare, or driving at night would become absolutely hopeless. So I will have to keep the blue-light-blocking readers, too.

But on we go.

Yes! I was able to find these EXACT glasses! Can’t wait! Now I just need a new hair stylist, to help me capture that “natural” look!.

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Speaking of fashion!!

Maybe, just maybe, the actual Johnny Smoke DEPP was at the Dior Womenswear Spring/Summer 26 show in Paris yesterday! (He wasn’t smoking, so, you know, it’s hard to be certain.)

However…

There were tons of photos on Instagram, yesterday, and I chose this one:

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And the official trailer for the TV-streamer adaptation of Nick Cave’s wonderful novel, The Death of Bunny Munro, dropped yesterday, too!

The actors don’t look anything like how I pictured the characters to look in my head, but it still looks like it might just follow the novel pretty closely. I guess we’ll see! (Well, I don’t actually know if we’ll be able to see it in the US, but I hope so!!)

“After his wife’s death, a sex-addicted door-to-door salesman and self-professed lothario Bunny Munro (Matt Smith) takes his young son on a chaotic sales tour around Brighton and beyond, where he is forced to confront what kind of man—and father—he really is.” (1 min):

And just to refresh your memory–

My copy of the novel!! I read it in 2 days! (Only putting it down the first night when my eyes gave out.) What a fun book this was. (Well, I mean, you have to preface that “fun” comment by who’s making it…) Anyway.

************

My shift yesterday with my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man was really great, gang.

I don’t want to get my hopes up or anything. It wasn’t like he was suddenly altogether fine. But he was focused and had more clarity than he’s had in a while. We talked about all kinds of cool things yesterday and he was able to keep up with all of it.

Tomorrow, we will return here for lunch!

The beautiful clubhouse at the golf course, that has those fantastic views!

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Other than that, though, gang, I kinda have to scoot!

I really want to make some progress in the novel today — which also includes tweaking what I wrote on Tuesday. (Plus, I have a phone chat with Sandra today and you never know what those chats will do to my writing schedule!!)

I’ll close with this, since today is the 8th anniversary of Tom Petty’s passing:

For about 2 hours this morning — from the moment I woke at 4:45AM, until breakfast was all over — I played “Southern Accents” live. (Not the version I posted yesterday. The version that’s on “The LIVE Anthology”. It is breathtaking.)

Well, I miss him, gang. What more can I say?

*************

Enjoy your Thursday, wherever you are in the world!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you, guys. See ya!

**************

Let’s leave with this!

A beautiful song, written after his divorce from Jane, his heroin addiction, his detox, then his marriage to Dana and the start of his new life.

Also from “The LIVE Anthology,” a really great version of “Square One” (originally from his solo album, Highway Companion, 2006).

Enjoy, gang.

“Square One”

Had to find some higher ground
Had some fear to get around
You can’t say what you don’t know
Later on won’t work no more
Last time through, I hid my tracks
So well I could not get back
Yeah, my way was hard to find
Can’t sell your soul for peace of mind

Square one, my slate is clear
Rest your head on me my dear
It took a world of trouble, it took a world of tears
It took a long time to get back here

Try so hard to stand alone
Struggle to see past my nose
Always had more dogs than bones
I could never wear those clothes
It’s a dark victory
You won and you also lost
Told her you were satisfied
But it never came across

Square one, my slate is clear
Rest your head on me my dear
It took a world of trouble, it took a world of tears
It took a long time to get back here

Square one, my slate is clear
Rest your head on me my dear
It took a world of trouble, it took a world of tears
It took a long time to get back here
Square one, my slate is clear
Rest your head on me my dear
It took a world of trouble, it took a world of tears
It took a long time to get back here

c- 2006 Tom Petty

Triumphant!

Yay. Yesterday was a really productive day, gang.

It took a while for the words to start coming, but I ended the day with 5 new pages in Chapter 14. And, as I mentioned in yesterday morning’s post, the chapter took a whole new turn that I hadn’t been expecting.

And I can now see the end of the novel. Meaning, I now know how it ends. I’m guessing 10-15 more pages, but we’ll see!

Getting there!! Finally!!

*************

These two new books arrived yesterday! (Like I didn’t have enough reading to do!!)

The Complete Works of Josephus. Well, I’m not planning on sitting down and reading that anytime soon (1150 pages). I just wanted to have it in print. Instead of in short digital files here and there in folders on my desktop. Between Josephus and Eusebius — these are the earliest mentions of the historical Jesus, with Josephus being the first source. But Josephus’s works also contain an amazing amount of detailed history from Jesus’s time (and James’s and John the Baptist’s), since Josephus lived in, essentially, the same era of Jerusalem, the Galilee and Rome as they did.

The Lost Mary: Rediscovering the Mother of Jesus is the new book by James Tabor!! I am into Chapter 2 already. It promises to be a really thorough document about what we can actually know about Jesus’ mother, the historical Mary. (Meaning — everything the theologians purposely left out of the New Testament about her, in order to better position Jesus Christ as being Divine.)

James Tabor’s short promo for the new book (5 mins):

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In other exciting news!! And sort of related!!

Today is the day that I go here after my shift —

— and FINALLY get new glasses.

I have needed new glasses forever. Something like 2 years already. And it’s going to help a lot with all this reading I’m trying to do.

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Here’s this!!

From Instagram. A very rare find, indeed!!

A photo of Keith Richards with a guitar and a cigarette!!

I don’t think it completes my set of 17 hundred trillion photos of Keith with a guitar and a cigarette, but I bet it’s getting close!!

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And someone posted this back on Nick’s birthday last week, but I just saw it yesterday.

He looks a little, well, “stressed” but I don’t think I’ve actually ever seen this photo before.

Nick Cave, some time, some place.

************

Regarding the tone of everything going on out there right now — Truthers are predicting we have finally entered Red October, with the 10 days of darkness and EBS coming post haste.

I guess we shall see, gang. But it all still seems pretty exciting to me. Meaning, underneath all the noise.

And Mike King has an interesting update about the National Guard.

************

Okay, I think that’s it for now.

I want to take a quick look at the novel before I scurry out the door and head to my shift with my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man!

And then, tomorrow– another day off before my October schedule sort of becomes the schedule from Hell…

Have a wonder-filled Wednesday, wherever you are in the world!!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

***********

With the 8th anniversary of Tom Petty’s death coming tomorrow, I leave you with this.

A really great version of “Southern Accents” from the “Pack Up the Plantation LIVE 1985” movie.

“Southern Accents” , from the album of the same name (1985), is a song Tom wrote primarily about the death of his mother. Such a beautiful song, but this live version is just spectacular.

Enjoy, gang.

“Southern Accents”

There’s a southern accent, where I come from
The young ‘uns call it country
The Yankees call it dumb

I got my own way of talkin’
But everything is done, with a southern accent
Where I come from

Now that drunk tank in Atlanta’s
Just a motel room to me
Think I might go work Orlando
If them orange groves don’t freeze

I got my own way of workin’
But everything is run, with a southern accent
Where I come from

For just a minute there I was dreaming
For just a minute it was all so real
For just a minute she was standing there, with me

There’s a dream I keep having
Where my mama comes to me
Then kneels down over by the window
And says a prayer for me

I got my own way of prayin’
But every one’s begun
With a southern accent
Where I come from

I got my own way of livin’
But everything gets done
With a southern accent
Where I come from

c – 1985 Tom Petty

Well, here’s hoping today is splendid

Although it didn’t get off to its most auspicious start. But we’ll see.

For some reason, I am so tired this morning. And after breakfast, I went back to bed with my cup of coffee, as I always do, but this time, instead of meditating, I fell back to sleep for over an hour.

Ack!

But here I am at my desk now and on we go.

************

So, yesterday was really frustrating. Even though I took the walk, did the yoga, studied the Protestant Reformation lecture, studied French.

I also sat at my desk for about 5 hours and NOTHING came. NOTHING.

I tweaked a tiny bit from Chapter 13, but nothing new for Chapter 14 hit the page. Even though I have a page of notes on things that need to be in Chapter 14. Nothing came.

I finally gave up, closed down the laptop. Did the yoga. Studied the lecture. Made dinner. Then got in the shower...

And suddenly — in the shower, water of course spraying all over me — suddenly, Chapter 14 began regaling itself to me. With many details, including conversations between characters. It couldn’t have been more different from the page of notes I’d already been staring at for 5 hours…

Wow.

So of course, I had to hurry up, dash out of the shower — basically dripping wet and wrapped in a towel — go to my desk and scribble down the notes as quickly as I could before they went off to the ether.

Me, yesterday —

OOPS! No, I meant — ME, yesterday —

So, this is a GOOD thing! And I’m hoping that these new notes make it to the page today.

We shall soon see, gang. When I read over the notes this morning, I was really happy with the direction they were going in.

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Before I forget — whoever updated my Wikipedia page — Wow, thank you!

I hadn’t actually looked at it in years, and yesterday I saw that some novels had been added. Thank you!

***********

Okay.

Here’s this from yesterday!

I glanced over and saw Bobby McGee asleep under the printer stand next to me! Too effing cute!!

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Okay.

Here’s this!

It’s back from Sept. 23rd, when Nick Cave got the new Honorary Doctorate, but I just saw it yesterday. I think it’s the only photo I’ve seen from that day where he was actually smiling!

And dark & early this morning…

Nick Cave sent out a new Red Hand File. It was kind of intense. I was actually kind of amazed that he was willing to answer that specific question — about where he stands on things, currently. Because it seems like then everybody goes after him for what he says. But answer it, he did!

He says, in part (and this is decidedly only in part):

“…I do not believe that silence is violence, complicity, or a lack of courage, but rather that silence is often the preferred option when one does not know what they are talking about, or is doubtful, or conflicted – which, for me, is most of the time. I am mainly at ease with not knowing and find this a spiritually and creatively dynamic position. I believe that there are times when it is almost a sacred duty to shut the fuck up….”

You can read it in full HERE.

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Meanwhile…

I’m kind of keeping my one stray eye on the talk going on right now in Virginia with Hegseth, Trump and military leaders.

It’s intense.

Not a direct quote from Hegseth but close: “No more dudes in dresses… no more gender delusions. We are done with that shit.”

Needless to say, that only piles on the stress regarding certain projects currently going on in my life (for 11 years). (i.e., “The Guide to Being Fabulous”). But on we go.

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Okay, I guess I better close this and get to work on The Curse of Our Profound Disorder.

I hope you have a terrific Tuesday, wherever you are in the world!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

**********

I leave you with this!

Late night listening music!!

(I really love my new boombox! I was playing Disc 1 of this 4-CD collection last night, after dark, in my bed. Windows open. Crickets. Fall breeze. So cool.)

One of my TOP 5 all-time favorite Tom Petty songs!

“Here Comes My Girl,” 1979. From Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers’ The LIVE Anthology, 2009. Enjoy, gang.

“Here Comes My Girl”

You know sometimes, I don’t know why
But this old town just seems so hopeless
I ain’t really sure, but it seems I remember the good times
Were just a little bit more in focus

But when she puts her arms around me
I can somehow rise above it
Yeah, man, when I got that little girl standing right by my side
You know, I can tell the whole wide world “Shove it!” Hey!

Hey, here comes my girl, here comes my girl
Yeah, she looks so right, she is all I need tonight

Every now and then, I get down to the end of a day
I have to stop, ask myself why I’ve done it
It just seems so useless to have to work so hard
And nothin’ ever really seem to come from it

And then she looks me in the eye, says, “We’re gonna last forever”
And man, you know I can’t begin to doubt it
No, ’cause it just feels so good and so free and so right
I know we ain’t never gonna change our minds about it

Hey, here comes my girl, here comes my girl
Yeah, she looks so right, she is all I need tonight

Watch her walk

Yeah, every time it seems like there ain’t nothin’ left no more
I find myself havin’ to reach out and grab hold of somethin’
Yeah, I just catch myself wonderin’, waitin’, worryin’
About some silly little things that don’t add up to nothin’

And then she looks me in the eye, says, “We’re gonna last forever,”
And man, you know I can’t begin to doubt it
No, ’cause it just feels so good and so free and so right
I know we ain’t never gonna change our minds about it

Hey, here comes my girl, here comes my girl
Yeah, she looks so right, she is all I need tonight

That’s right
That’s right!

c- 1979 Tom Petty, Mike Campbell