Tag Archives: not smoking

Best Morning of Christmas Eve, Ever!

For some reason, all day yesterday, I kept thinking about that concert film from 2018, Distant Sky: Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds Live in Copenhagen. I really wished I could re-watch it. I kept thinking about how great it would sound on my new speakers, plus I just really loved that concert and wanted to see it again.

You know, I have a private email address that only about 6 people know. Two of my friends have it; one of my ex-husbands has it (the other ex-husband only texts me on my phone); and then about 3 business-related people have it. It’s so that I can be sure that emails coming from any of those people never wind up in the junk folder, and never get lost among a ton of spam emails. I won’t ever accidentally delete it, or not see that it’s there the moment it arrives.

There’s only ever about 3 active things in that inbox, and right now they’re all emails from the director of my play. Around 2:30am, though, I saw that my ex-husband (in Seattle) had emailed me. It was no less than 8 animated Christmas gifs, the one posted above being among them! I find it so funny & sweet that he does that, because he’s Chinese, Buddhist, born & raised in Singapore — and he sends me the most Westernized depictions of Christmas imaginable.  It’s so funny. But he also said something really sweet to me and it was just the best little Christmas email to get at 2:30am.

And then at about 6am this morning, I was still in bed and checked that email inbox again and, lo & behold, Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds had written to me!! They never write to me at that email address — they only use my main one that the whole world knows!!

Well, upon closer inspection, it turns out that YouTube has that email address  — and they were the ones actually writing to me. But it was to tell me that Distant Sky: Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds Live in Copenhagen had just been uploaded to YouTube!! And that I could start watching it right that very second if I wanted to!

Fucking-A, right??!! Yay. I seriously really was thinking about that movie all day yesterday. I’m so happy!

I know… I’m committed to making this effort to watch only new things. (You’ll notice, though, that being “committed to making an effort” has a glaring loophole in it — you can see it a mile away.) Plus, it’s Christmas — who watches anything new on Christmas? I think it’ll be cool if I can manage to get through the next 2 days without watching It’s A Wonderful Life or A Christmas Carol or The Bishop’s Wife or Holiday Inn, or even some sort of old foreign film about Nazis in Paris at Christmas or something like that.

We’ll see how it goes. I am, though, going to SERIOUSLY make an effort to not sit at my desk. I am going to try to avoid the hypnotic pull of it. I really am.

Even though, last evening at the Granville Inn, I ran into Kevin — the director of my play — and his husband, Christopher. And so now all I want to do is work on some revisions of the play! But last night, Kevin — who greeted me with this amazing hug and a big smile and said really joyously, “I love you!” and it left me a little breathless because it’s been quite a while since anyone has done that to me — but he also said, “We’re not discussing work until after the holiday, okay?!”

And I said, “Okay!!” And I’m gonna try to stick to that. I really am. And if that means I’m forced to re-watch Distant Sky: Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds Live in Copenhagen in order to not sit down at my desk, well, you know….

I’m actually so glad that I looked really nice last evening. I was hoping to run into that older man — that widower who’s a transplanted New Yorker — because he’s really interested in my play and I wanted to give him one of the Christmas cards. He’s been really sick, but I was wondering if maybe he was feeling better and would stop in at the Inn before Christmas. So I had actually washed my hair and it was behaving splendidly — you know, silky and bouncy and just really full and not as if half of it had just fallen out in the shower and was hanging around the bathtub drain…(such is the life of hair at age 59 and a half). Plus, I had decided to wear make-up– eye make-up, that is. I never wear any other make-up anymore, even though I have a ton of it and I love make-up; I just hate wearing it now because it adds about 20 years to my face. And I spend 17 trillion dollars a year on products that ensure I look 15 years younger than I am when I roll out of bed each morning and so that I can go out bravely into the Hinterlands and have much younger people gush breathlessly that I don’t look anywhere near as old as I am!

I don’t want to ruin all that by wearing anything more than eye make-up.

But anyway. Last night, there I was, actually looking really good for a change. And I had on these cute little silver earrings shaped like cats in Santa hats with tiny bells on them (a gift from Kara last Christmas) and my little gold “Joy” pin with the tiny rhinestones. I just looked really tastefully festive and sort of “grown-up-ish.” In short: I looked nothing like how I usually look and then I ran into my director and his husband! So I thought privately to myself: oh, yay! they’ll think I look like this all the time…

All righty. Enough of that.

Nick Cave was either up really late or up very early, because I also got a Red Hand Files thingy in my (other) inbox just before dawn! I only know it’s about Christmas. I haven’t read it yet. But you can read it here if you so choose!

Right now, I’m gonna get more coffee, finish up the laundry, brush my teeth, admire my still-behaving hair in the mirror, and then get in my grown-up car and join the throngs of people who, comme moi, decided to save all their grocery shopping for Christmas Eve day — the worst traffic day of the whole year, even in a small town.

Then I will come home, not smoke Chesterfields, not drink bourbon, not sit at my desk and write… but still have a really great Christmas Eve!!

Okay. I leave you with this. It still breaks my heart to pieces (I loved this man and they killed him). But there’s still a lot of joy left there, too, gang. Death doesn’t kill love, it only transforms it. So play it loud and rejoice. And thanks for visiting. I love you guys. See ya!

Oh, Joy!!


Late last night, I stopped in at the gas station here in Crazeysburg because I ran out of milk again!! And I couldn’t possibly face the morning without milk for my coffee, whether the milk was organic and fresh from the farm, or non-organic and fresh from the gas station.

When I got up to the counter to pay, lo & behold! Right there in front of me, for the first time in Crazeysburg ever — or at least since I’ve been here — there were packs of Chesterfield cigarettes for sale!

My favorite cigarettes of all time.

The very reason I gave up smoking was because you could not find Chesterfields for sale anywhere in Ohio once I had moved back here from New York.

These cigarettes at the gas station were the “new” Chesterfields, with the modern packaging and filter tips. Now produced by Phillip Morris. I have no idea if they’re still the same tobacco or not. The old Chesterfields were initially filterless, and smoking just one would knock you on your ass. They seemed to have triple-nicotine. And since, back then, I always drank 101 proof Wild Turkey bourbon, filterless Chesterfields made drinking that bourbon an absolute joy! You could be both drunk and buzzed all night long.

Image result for chesterfield kings cigarettes
The old Chesterfields. Produced by Liggett & Myers.

But I was so indescribably thrilled to finally see Chesterfields for sale in Ohio again — and on such prominent display in the gas station in Crazeysburg — that I automatically asked for a pack. Then I paid for it and took it, along with my jug of milk, to the car. Got in the car. I was in such great spirits! There were Christmas lights on all the houses up & down the street, and strung all over the fence in the town square (which is sort of a triangle). The black night was frosty but super clear — all the stars were shining.

I put the key in the ignition and then thought: What the fuck?! Why did I just do that? I don’t smoke.

I have not smoked in years! It was so wild. But I took them home anyway. I was just so happy to possess them again, even though they don’t look remotely the same as they used to:

 I just LOVE this! Obviously, the point was supposed to be the new packaging but it’s so funny that Nick Cave is all over the photo! Well. Such are photos taken at my desk…

You can see that the new packaging is super boring, but anyway.

So. On another topic altogether.

Here is a really cute photo of my great-niece. She is almost two years old. Her name is Stevie. I haven’t met her yet. She’s the granddaughter of the sister I don’t really get along with too well. In fact, I have never even met Stevie’s mom — my actual niece, my sister’s daughter. I was always sort of the persona non grata in that sister’s life because she found me maddeningly opinionated and a wee bit on the super-duper liberal side.

However, my mom and my other sister have always kept me abreast of my niece’s world and have always sent me photos. And so now my niece is married and has a daughter. (I have photos of the wedding, too, though I was not invited…) (I do get invited to funerals, though, so that’s really fun — you know, to be thought of when  everybody’s feeling wretched and devastated…) Anyway, she’s a cutie!!

All righty!!

I’m getting super excited that Christmas is basically here. I’m guessing I’ll go on a diet on Thursday. I actually am getting really sick of chocolate. I’ve eaten so much of it in the past week. I’m so ready to be normal again — or my version of normal, which is really just wide open in every area of my life.

I’m gonna close this because I gotta scoot! I gotta take some stuff to the post office, and the post office here in Crazeysburg only stays open for a couple hours in the early morning, and then a couple hours in the mid-afternoon. And if I want my stuff to get anywhere before the end of the year, I gotta get to that post office post-haste!

Have a great Monday, wherever you are in the world and to wherever it takes you. Thanks for visiting! I love you guys! See ya!!

Thug Luckless says: “Smoke your way to a merry Christmas!”