Tag Archives: Sandra Caldwell The Guide To Being Fabulous

Everything’s Fantastic!!

When was the last time you heard me say that, gang??? (I will give you a few minutes to let you go over your notes and find out…)

Okay! Time’s up!

The correct answer is: You have NEVER heard me say that!!!!

I cannot remember a moment in all of my many, many moments here on Earth wherein everything has been fantastic — at the same time.

But everything is actually fantastic today. And, no, I didn’t do any housecleaning yesterday. And, no, I did not go to the shooting range, either. I stayed at my desk and worked. And also did a little yoga — although not at my desk.

And let me just add that trying to do yoga while closed up in a room with 4 frisky six-week-old kittens and a curious Mommy-cat, is not entirely relaxing. For some reason, they seem inordinately fond of yoga mats and they constantly get underfoot…

Not us…but a reasonable facsimile

Okay.

While I can’t publicly go into everything that’s fantastic right now, I can say this: I heard back from the agent in Helsinki, who reps the Finnish actor that we are keenly desiring will take the role of the Finnish crime boss in our TV series– and she said that he read the script and is “interested in the project”!!!!

That alone sent me zooming to the moon yesterday. I cannot tell you how badly Peitor and I both want that guy to be in that role!! It is such a fucking out there character, gang!!

Lest you forget — his “theme music” in the final moments of the pilot episode (in slow motion, no less) (yes, please play it and please play it LOUD):

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In other incredibly fantastic news, although the “news” was just a very short sentence — it still gave my heart a whole lot of hope, gang.

If you subscribe to my substack page, you may recall that last year, I unearthed a novel I had written back in the late 90s and after reading it over, I came to the conclusion that I was crazy to let the opinions of others affect how I felt about that novel back then. Even though it had won 3 writing awards. Publishers did not want to be associated with it. I stored the novel away and thought I would never look at it again.

When I did look at it again (25 years later), I was astounded to discover that it was almost finished. I had remembered it as being maybe halfway done. But it was practically done and I had buried it away. A novel that meant so much to me. (Back then, self-publishing was very different than it is now — it was really expensive, for one thing. And very hard to promote. It just wasn’t a serious option.)

Anyway, I intend to publish it, after I nail down the ending. But my preference of course would be that a traditional publisher publishes it, instead.

It is an intense novel and it offended a lot of editors who read it 25 years ago. (It is not erotica although it has a lot of sexually harsh and graphic scenes in it.) If Henry Miller or Bill Burroughs had written it, and if Barney Rosset had still been publishing back then instead of being retired, the novel might have had a chance at a Pulitzer Prize….

The late, great Barney Rosset, who did technically publish me once — his company picked up the mass market paperback rights to Neptune & Surf and published it, although by that point, he had retired.

Okay, anyway.

Long story short, I approached a small press yesterday, asking if they would read it and maybe have an interest in publishing it. And they at least wrote back that they “looked forward to going over the materials” I’d sent.

What can I say?? To the moon and back, gang.

I know it’s not a lot, it doesn’t mean that the novel will appeal to them, either, but just the thought of that novel maybe seeing the light of day and not as something else I yet again have to self-publish… wow.

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Okay, so yes!! I have a lot on my plate. Oh, and Sandra called me at 5:30AM this morning! And you know what? I had just that moment woken up! I’d overslept!! Most people know I’m usually up and out of bed by 5AM, so they don’t hesitate to call me before dawn, but Sandra felt terrible that she’d called me so early and I was a wee bit incoherent….

Anyway! Yes, my plate is really full. But I don’t care! It’s all a big bunch of happy projects for me.

And tonight!! THIS:

Dinner with Kara at the Granville Inn!! And our friend Wendy might also be coming!!! I text Wendy pretty frequently but I haven’t actually seen her since last Fall. So I am super excited!!

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And I think that’s it for now. I gotta read over some pages Peitor sent and then get to a client.

Have a terrific Tuesday wherever you are in the world!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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In an unlikely turn of events — I have not only given the kittens first names, but this morning, I suddenly gave them the usual last name that I give most of my cats: “McGee”. Currently, I have McFees and McGees in the house. And these new kittens have joined the ranks of the McGees.

And when Bobbie Jo jumped up on my bed this morning, while I was sitting there having coffee — I realized that her full name is now Bobbie Jo McGee!!

Wow! So I immediately regaled her with THIS song in its entirety and she seemed to really like my singing, gang! Well, at least she stopped cold and stared at me very intently.

Okay. Enjoy this moment, gang: Janis Joplin, singing Kris Kristofferson’s timeless classic, “Me and Bobby McGee”. See ya.

Getting Our Ducks in a Row!

I cannot decide what to do today, gang.

I really want to pop in at the shooting range but it is a cold and dismal day. Part of what I love about going to the shooting range is that drive over there — all back roads. All hills and trees and fields and cows. Hawks and the occasional eagle circling in the big blue endless sky.

I love that. Especially on my day off.

It’s just so gloomy today. Plus, I have a bunch of housecleaning that needs doing. So, part of me wants to just stay home and clean.

Still another part of me wants to forget about cleaning and just sit at my desk and write!!

Since Peitor is involved in scoring a film in Canada right now, I won’t be hearing from him today.

And — so far — Sandra doesn’t need me today, either. So I could just sit here and write….

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Here’s something you don’t often see around here these days — the kittens sleeping!!

And the 3 that have normal legs discovered — last night — how to get up on my bed and frolic around! It was so cute!!

But it was 1:28AM….

Oh, and lest me forget that I still have that family of amazingly adorable young cats that were abandoned left here by that young married couple a year ago…

One of them has learned a new skill! In the last 24 hours, THIS happened 3 times in the upstairs bathroom!!

(Yes, 3 complete jumbo rolls of TP in 24 hours because for some inexplicable reason I kept thinking he/she would stop doing it!)

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And we won’t even discuss THIS type of thing on 4 of my window screens….

Anyway.

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I had the coolest dream last night! It was so detailed and just so cool, so empowering. I can’t even begin to describe it. But the one thing I can easily describe:

Right before I awoke, I was singing the song below in the dream — every word of it. I hadn’t thought about this song in probably 58 years!! And I still knew all the words!

When I was a little girl in Cleveland, I used to sing this song in my bed at night. Really loudly, until my brother would shout “Shut up!” from his room across the hall…

Anyway. I took this song really, really seriously when I was a little girl. (I can’t even imagine what my parents were thinking, downstairs in the living room, trying to watch TV….)

But, I don’t know, gang — it seems like some sort of good sign that it came back to me all these decades later, in “a dream”:

"The Impossible Dream"

To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
To run where the brave dare not go

To right the unrightable wrong
To love pure and chaste from afar
To try when your arms are too weary
To reach the unreachable star

This is my quest to follow that star
No matter how hopeless, no matter how far
To fight for the right without question or pause
To be willing to march into hell for a heavenly cause

And I know if I'll only be true to this glorious quest
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm
When I'm laid to my rest

And the world will be better for this
That one man, scorned and covered with scars
Still strove with his last ounce of courage

To reach the unreachable star

c - 1965 - Mitch Leigh / Joseph Darion

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My life is at least interesting these days, if nothing else…

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Okay!

No Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds today. But here’s this again!! Just ’cause I love it:

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And other than that, I guess I will close this and just sit and try to figure out what I’m gonna do today.

I want to make good use of this wide-open day today, gang, because I have 6 shifts ahead of me this week (and every week after that, until I go to NYC). But I also have —

Dinner tomorrow night with Kara at the glorious Granville Inn!!

A late lunch on Saturday with my Q-following girlfriend at Tequilaville!!

So this week won’t be all about stress and work. But I still want to make today count for something.

Meanwhile, while I try to figure that out, enjoy your Monday, wherever you are in the world!!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

Another great day in the Hinterlands!

Wow, gang. What a beautiful day! And I have the entire day off …

Which means that I’ve already done 2 loads of laundry and I have a TON of reading to do before I call Peitor and we work on the TV pilot promo stuff later today.

Still. It is a day off from driving hither & yon, taking care of people.

But speaking of people that I take care of–

I had such a great time yesterday with my favorite 94-year-old Japanese man. We stayed in all day because the wind was beyond belief yesterday afternoon. But he had a great day, clarity-wise, and we talked a lot about so many things, especially about his dad, who also had an incredible life.

Here is a photo of his dad, from around 1930, when he was already retired but during the summer months, he ran a stall on the boardwalk in Ocean City, NJ. This was right at the time my client was born (his dad was 60 years old when my client was born):

My client’s dad, around 1930. Ocean City, NJ

The Ocean City boardwalk as it looked in 1930 (it is not too far from NYC, where my client was born):

And how about this incredible old hotel in Tokyo?

The Imperial Hotel, after it had a “face-lift” done by Frank Lloyd Wright:

My client and his father would frequent this hotel when they moved back to Tokyo in the 1930s. (The hotel has since been completely renovated and relocated and is now a Marriott, if I’m not mistaken.)

I have these photos because, when my client and I talk about “the old days”, I usually try to find photos on my phone of things he remembers from the past, so that he can “re-live” them a little bit more. His short-term memory is not great, but his long-term memory is phenomenal and I just like to keep him using his mind as much as possible when I’m with him.

The photo of his father is not from the Internet, though — it’s sitting out in the living room.

His father was wealthy, and when he moved back to Tokyo prior to the war, he had an enormous traditional Japanese house built that has since become a museum in Tokyo (!!). Just after the war, when the US military occupied Japan, American military officers (and sometimes their wives) occupied most of the rooms in the house. The family got 5 rooms — and the given officer and his wife would get 12 rooms!! (And the family had almost NO food, while the Americans had plenty.)

Anyway.

Another thing that blew me away — there was an American family that my client first lived with & worked for (ie. “Japanese houseboy”) when he first went back to NYC after the war, at age 17. This family was really, really good to him. They were instrumental in getting him trained to be a TV repairman, so that he could go out on his own, and they also helped him get into NYU to become an electrical engineer.

Anyway — we googled the wife of that family and she died in 2012, at age, 93, and she had 28 grandchildren and 26 great-grandchildren!!!

I was flabbergasted by that!! That would have been my dream, gang. To have a really, really huge family like that.

Anyway. Yesterday was really nice.

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Also, yesterday — the Bad Seeds’ Wild God Tour of North America came to an end!

About 99.9% of the images on Instagram, from the show at the Cruel World festival in Pasadena, were videos. And I wasn’t really crazy about the few photos I could find, but here’s one:

And it looks like Nick Cave is taking a HUGE 3 and 1/2 weeks off, before he starts his solo tour (with bass player) of Europe throughout June, July, August, and September!!

27 shows, gang, and almost ALL of them are already sold out. Literally.

Curiously, though, his show in Rome, Italy, on July 22nd still has tickets available. I’m guessing this is because it’s my 65th birthday and most of the people in Rome will probably be home, dedicating some sort of birthday shrine to me, but I’m not completely certain about that.

Anyway, we’ll see!

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Oh! Speaking of shrines to me…

More print book and eBook sales have posted in the various stats today!! Thank you, everybody. I really love seeing that.

I love that people are loving The Guitar Hero Goes Home — I really do appreciate that so much because I love that novel. But what really just makes my little heart beam to the moon and back, is when the original print edition of Neptune & Surf appears in the “Best Sellers” ranks, as it did again today.

Even though it’s ranked at #303,826 in Erotic Literature, it still means that somebody somewhere BOUGHT it! After 26 years since it’s original printing.

It had 6 editions over the years, in both English and French, and sold something like 100,000 copies overall (for literary erotic fiction, that is almost unheard of — and that doesn’t count when the entire book was illegally put into a torrent and downloaded for free by game boys, worldwide, about 10 years ago), but I never lose sight of how hard I worked on that first book of mine (it took me 4 years to write it), wondering if it would end up getting published and/or if anyone would ever buy it…

I gave up my songwriting career to sit at my desk and write that book and everyone I knew thought I was nuts to do that.

And I loved — so much — that Richard Kasak, the original publisher of the book, gave it such a non-sexual cover!! It meant that women, especially, could openly buy it in bookstores and easily read it on public transportation. It didn’t scream “SEX”. (Even though the book is completely 100% hardcore erotica.)

Anyway, gang. That made me so happy.

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All right, gang, I guess I better get moving here. The coffee’s all gone, the laundry is done, and I have a TON of reading to do here at breakneck speed!!

Enjoy your Sunday, wherever you are in the world!!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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No, I just can’t help it.

I always go back to Tom Petty eventually. I cannot stop loving him, even all these years later.

Breakfast-listening music!!

His totally Midwestern American coming-of-age ode to smoking weed!! Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers’ “Mary Jane’s Last Dance”. 1993. Enjoy, gang. I sure did!

“Mary Jane’s Last Dance”

She grew up in an Indiana town
Had a good-lookin’ mama who never was around
But she grew up tall and she grew up right
With them Indiana boys on them Indiana nights

Well, she moved down here the age of eighteen
She blew the boys away, was more than they’d seen
I was introduced and we both started groovin’
She said, “I dig you baby, but I got to keep movin’ on
Keep movin’ on”

Last dance with Mary Jane, one more time to kill the pain
I feel summer creepin’ in and I’m tired of this town again

Well, I don’t know, but I’ve been told
You never slow down, you never grow old
I’m tired of screwin’ up, tired of going down
Tired of myself, tired of this town

Oh, my my, oh, hell yes
Honey, put on that party dress
Buy me a drink, sing me a song
Take me as I come ’cause I can’t stay long

Last dance with Mary Jane, one more time to kill the pain
I feel summer creepin’ in and I’m tired of this town again

There’s pigeons down on Market Square
She’s standin’ in her underwear
Lookin’ down from a hotel room
The nightfall will be comin’ soon

Oh, my my, oh, hell yes.
You got to put on that party dress
It was too cold to cry when I woke up alone
I hit my last number, I walked to the road

Last dance with Mary Jane, one more time to kill the pain
I feel summer creepin’ in and I’m tired of this town again

c – 1993 Tom Petty

“It seems like she never thanks God that it’s Friday. I just don’t get it…”

Welcome to Friday, gang!

However. Around here, it is meaningless to me because, by Friday, I still have a ton of work ahead of me before I get something that looks like a day off.

This week, it will start on Sunday. Yay. And it won’t come a minute too soon.

Although Peitor sent me a THIRTY-FIVE page document this morning that I need to read over before we can proceed with the pitch deck for the TV pilot proposal.

So Sunday is looking a little less like a day off than I usually prefer.

But this is also happening on Sunday! Over at Metrograph.com!

“Join us on Metrograph at Home for the live streaming premiere of The Black Sea with an exclusive introduction and post-screening Q&A with filmmakers Crystal Moselle and Derrick B. Harden and comedian Kareem Rahma (Subway Takes) this Sunday, May 18 at 8pm EST.”

I’m excited! The trailer looks really great (FYI- for $5 a month, you can join Metrograph at Home, otherwise, the theater itself is in NYC at 7 Ludlow Street):

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From last evening — a quick photo of Bobbie Jo, Calico, and a little bit of Billy Jo and Betty Jo, and Blackie, too!!

And, yes, I have to stare at them for a few moments before I can figure out what their supremely complicated names are…

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Oops! Just got a call from Sandra. Wondering if I am free over the weekend to do some quick editing…

But I am, gang. I am! It’s what I signed on for.

I’m just really hoping that I can get to the shooting range on Monday, because it’s been 2 weeks now and I worry that I’m losing whatever progress I made last time (98 bullseyes out of 100 bullets).

I want to get to 100 out of 100, so that I can start working on my speed. What good is being a gunslinger if you take forever to aim????

But at least I now have the appropriate attire!! ( See yesterday’s post about the new sundresses.)

(But seriously, I would never wear a sundress while practicing at the shooting range. Those bullet casings fly back at you and when they land on your flesh, even for a nano second, they are burning hot and leave blisters!! Not a look I’m really going for. Least of all, at my age, when I need all the help I can get in the overall “allure” department…)

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Anyway!!

Okay, I think these two fantastic photos were from San Francisco:

And here’s this — for the final gig of the tour, tomorrow night (buy tickets here):

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I know you are going to think that I’m utterly insane … but last week, I decided to start studying Chinese again.

I studied Mandarin for many years in NYC, back in the 1990s, and I was at what was called the “college level”. But since I have no access to a bunch of people who speak Chinese anymore, I have forgotten most of it. And that frustrates me.

So I still study my French every morning on the Mondly app, but then I follow it with Chinese. It’s coming back to me, in tiny bits and pieces.

I couldn’t find my favorite textbooks (I know they are stored here somewhere, I just haven’t found out where yet), so I bought this new textbook on Amazon. It arrived yesterday:

It is unbelievably complicated. So now more than ever, I want to find my old textbooks. But in the meantime, I am making progress, little by little. Between the Mondly app and this new unbelievably complicated textbook.

And this phrase comes in really handy! Funny how it stuck with me over the years:

我的中文不太好。(Wǒ de zhōngwén bù tài hǎo.)

Translation: My Chinese is not too good.

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And I guess that’s it for now. I have to get on my merry way. There’s a 94-year-old Japanese man 30 miles from here who’s expecting to open his eyes and see me, gang.

HE: “Marilyn! My angel!”

ME: “You wanna get up now? Your coffee’s ready.”

Enjoy your fabulous Friday, wherever you are in the world!!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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Yes!! You had to know this was coming, eventually!!!

This incredible song, written by Townes Van Zandt in 1972. Emmylou Harris knocked it outta the park!!

And, yes, I sang this song a lot in my days on the Folk Music circuit in NYC. I sang it as a duet with Frank Mazzetti (who is actually still out there singing, somewhere in NY. He was wonderful, gang, and he basically discovered me).

“Pancho & Lefty”. From Emmylou’s album Luxury Liner, 1977. Enjoy!!

“Pancho & Lefty”

Livin’ on the road my friend
Was gonna keep you free and clean
Now you wear your skin like iron
And your breath’s as hard as kerosene
You weren’t your mama’s only boy
But her favorite one it seems
She began to cry when you said goodbye
And sank into your dreams

Pancho was a bandit, boys
His horse was fast as polished steel
Wore his gun outside his pants
For all the honest world to feel
Well, Pancho met his match you know
On the deserts down in Mexico
And nobody heard his dyin’ words
Ah but that’s the way it goes

All the Federales say
Could of had him any day
Only let him slip away
Out of kindness I suppose

Lefty, he can’t sing the blues
All night long like he used to
The dust that Pancho bit down south
Ended up in Lefty’s mouth
The day they laid poor Pancho low
Lefty split for Ohio
Where he got the bread to go
There ain’t nobody knows

Well, the poets tell how Pancho fell
And Lefty’s livin’ in a cheap hotel
The dessert’s quiet and Cleveland’s cold
So the story ends, we’re told
Pancho needs your prayer’s it’s true
But save a few for Lefty too
He only did what he had to do
And now he’s growin’ old
A few gray Federales say
Could have had him any day
Only let him go so long
Out of kindness I suppose

c – 1972 – Townes Van Zandt

A Breezy Wednesday in the Hinterlands!

I know — it looks like my apartment in Paris in the 1920s, but …

Wow. So this is a cool development, gang!

Already, my psychological stress level has diminished to the point where we had TONS of really intense thunderstorms here last night — which usually triggers my PTSD — and I breezed right through it!

I didn’t even flinch! I hung out happily on the bed with Blackie & the kittens and just kept watching my new absolute favorite show on Netflix:

“Midnight Diner: Tokyo Stories”. From 2019.

I love this beautiful opening to each episode. I never skip the intro (2 mins):

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If you saw my post yesterday, about the new Guitar Player interview with Joe Satriani and Steve Vai …

I know I’m getting older now, too — Steve Vai is my age, and Joe Satriani is 4 years older.

However, I remember them so well from the 1980s when they both had HAIR!!! I miss that.

Joe with hair
Steve with hair

They have a new album coming out, in case you missed that part. And a new single, with Glenn Hughes on vocals. “I Wanna Play My Guitar”:

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And to be fair: Me in the 1980s, when I also had hair!

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Oh wow, gang!!

So I guess you probably saw that all the stuff about “Pope Leo IV” was just a mistake!! A cruel lie, even!!

Here’s the new Pope!!

Pope Keith I

And while I’m at it — here’s this!!

Brian, Keith and Mick, 1965 — I love this photo:

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And on the kitten front —

Here’s something I bought that is a lifesaver!!

I was worried about using the vacuum cleaner anywhere near Blackie & the kittens because they are closed up in my room and cannot escape the scary noise.

This works great!! I’m so glad I bought it. Cat litter, cat hair, pieces of my chenille bedspread that the kittens have discovered is really fun to shred!! GONE!

I can actually sweep the entire upstairs in under 4 minutes. And it also works on uncarpeted floors, too. (Here’s a link on Amazon if you want one.)

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Okay, it looks like Cave Things is having a 40% Off sale on all prints!

My favorite is in stock AND 40% off, so if you need my address, just GOOGLE it!!

(Don’t use the Spring Garden St. address in Easton, PA, though, because I have not lived there in 20 years!! And someone other than me will receive this treasured item!!) (And, yes! It’s on sale now for a mere $245 plus a zillion in shipping fees!! I eagerly await its arrival, so thank you!!)

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And another photo from the show in Vancouver:

Tonight, they play San Francisco. Saturday, they play the festival in Pasadena. And then the tour is OVER!! Buy those final tickets here.

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On a happy note–

Next week is a big week for me, gang. On Tuesday, I have been invited to have dinner at the Granville Inn by my dear friend Kara!

And then on Saturday, after my midday shift, I’m having lunch with my favorite Q-following friend, at our favorite haunt — Tequilaville!!

Here’s a less warehouse-y looking shot than the one I usually post:

And here’s what it looks like inside:

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And that is it for now, because I gotta scoot!!

Have a wonder-filled Wednesday, wherever you are in the world!!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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Okay, I know. But we’re still on the Emmylou kick around here, and I can’t help it!!

Here’s the song she wrote in memory of Graham Parson’s after he died — and his body was burned at Joshua Tree:

But, to fulfill Parsons’ wishes, Kaufman and a friend stole both a hearse and his body and drove it to Joshua Tree. At Cap Rock Parking Lot, they poured gasoline into the open coffin and lit it, creating an enormous fireball. They were arrested and eventually fined $750.00, for stealing the coffin. 

At that point in time, Emmylou Harris was a backup singer for Graham Parsons. Afterward, she became a huge success on her own.

I definitely used to sing this song in my sets on the Folk Music circuit in NYC.

The beautiful “Boulder to Birmingham” from 1975. Enjoy, gang!!

“Boulder To Birmingham”

I don’t want to hear a love song
I got on this airplane just to fly
And I know there’s life below
But all that it can show me
Is the prairie and the sky

And I don’t want to hear a sad story
Full of heartbreak and desire
The last time I felt like this
It was in the wilderness and the canyon was on fire
And I stood on the mountain in the night and I watched it burn
I watched it burn, I watched it burn.

I would rock my soul in the bosom of Abraham
I would hold my life in his saving grace.
I would walk all the way from Boulder to Birmingham
If I thought I could see, I could see your face.

Well you really got me this time
And the hardest part is knowing I’ll survive.
I have come to listen for the sound
Of the trucks as they move down
Out on ninety five
And pretend that it’s the ocean
coming down to wash me clean, to wash me clean
Baby do you know what I mean

I would rock my soul in the bosom of Abraham
I would hold my life in his saving grace.
I would walk all the way from Boulder to Birmingham
If I thought I could see, I could see your face.

c – 1975 Emmylou Harris, Bill Danoff

Happy Mother’s Day!

What a glorious day it is today, gang!!

Not just flawless weather!! BUT —

I also got plenty of sleep last night. Wow!

Around 2 PM yesterday, when I was still with my favorite 94-year-old Japanese man, the agency began texting and calling me, and practically harassing me to work a longer evening shift last night than I was scheduled for.

And I said repeatedly that I absolutely could not and would not do it. I was already completely exhausted at 2 in the afternoon… It got intense.

However–

ME: “If you can find someone who wants to work my whole shift and they can also work later, then I’ll give up the shift.”

YAY!! It worked!! They finally found someone.

As I was driving the 30 miles home from my Japanese man’s house, they called and said that they didn’t need me to work the shift and they thanked me for being willing to give it up.

It’s SO FUNNY how, when I arrived at my house and got out of my car on a truly splendid Saturday afternoon and realized I had the night off ….. I suddenly wasn’t tired anymore. At all. Not even one little bit. I had a great evening!!

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A very Happy Mother’s Day to my wonderful birth mom, Cherie!

Here she is with my Uncle Jim, in Greenfield, Ohio, somewhere around the time I was born. I love this photo! It’s straight outta yesteryear:

I loved my Uncle Jim so much. I only got to know him for a handful of years before he died, but — as I have posted here before — he was the one who helped me find my birth father.

I remember so vividly one evening, right when I first met him (and my birth mom), he took me aside in the kitchen and whispered in urgency to me: “I don’t know who your father is, but if I did, I would tell you. I swear it. I don’t care what the others say, I would tell you.”

From the moment everyone found out my mom was pregnant with me, she steadfastly refused to ever tell anyone who my father was. I have one of those heartbreaking birth certificates that reads: Mother, age 13. Father, unknown.

My Uncle Jim was in his hospital bed, dying, and he unexpectedly called me on the phone.

HE: “I just found out who your father is.”

ME (in my dark, hellhole apartment on E. 12th Street , the phone to my sweaty ear): “Oh my god…” as my voice trailed off into profound and utter gratitude to the entire universe. At last.

Anyway, I loved my Uncle Jim. It turned out that he also had an illegitimate daughter that few people knew about. Because while he was married to my Aunt, he was not allowed to have anything to do with her. Even though his daughter lived right there in their little town. And even worked in the only grocery store there, and so he would see her all the time — watched her as she grew up– but wasn’t allowed to speak to her. Or she to him.

But the moment my Aunt died, my Uncle bought a brand new Cadillac and went and picked up his now fully-grown daughter and drove around town with her right there in the front seat –letting the whole fucking town know, finally, that she was his.

It made the rest of my family crazy, but I thought it was so incredibly cool!!

I was still a folksinger back then, and of course I wrote a song about it. I only remember part of the chorus:

In this car of my old man’s / we’ll run as fast as the racing wind

It was through his daughter that my Uncle Jim found out who my father was, because she had gone to school with my mom.

Anyway. I digress!

Happy Mother’s Day to my wonderful birth mom, Cherie!!

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And speaking of fathers and of father figures, etc. Here’s this!!

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And on another equally lovely topic here’s this, from the Mission Ballroom, but I can’t remember which city that was.

And it looks like they blew the roof off in Portland last night, gang! It looks like it was such an amazing show.

There are only 3 more regular shows left of the tour and then one show at a festival. 2 of the shows are already sold out, but you can buy tickets here for San Francisco and the festival in Pasadena!

(I’m not positive but I think they’ve added one final show to the end of the tour, but it’s here in Crazeysburg and the house venue only seats one and that ticket is sold out…)

Anyway!!!

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Okay!

I was crazy kind enough to pick up someone’s shift today because they wanted to have Mother’s Day off, so I gotta scoot!

But enjoy your Sunday, wherever you are in the world!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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Wow, gang. So after yesterday’s post with the Emmylou Harris song, I went on an all-out Emmylou Harris kick around here!

I can’t tell you how much I loved her, gang. She’s not dead, but she doesn’t make records anymore. And it was so cool to bring out all the old memories and sing along.

Her voice was absolutely right in my key, so I included a lot of her songs in my sets when I performed on the Folk circuit in NYC.

Anyway. Here’s this morning’s breakfast-listening music!

This goes out to the man I love!! He knows who he is!!

This is for all the hotel rooms in the world that we will never have!!! I love you, bambino. Enjoy your beautiful day, wherever you are right now!!

“I’ll Be Your San Antone Rose”

If they’ll play another love song
And if that Miller Hi-Life sign stays dim
And if you’ll keep my glass full of whiskey
I’ll whisper words I wish I’d said to him

Just ask me to dance all the slow ones
Hold me close and take me ‘cross the floor
I’ll gently lay my head on your shoulder
And pretend this never happened before

I don’t want to hear a sad story
We both already know how it goes
So if tonight you’ll be my tall dark stranger
I’ll be your San Antone Rose

I wish I could tell you I love you
I wish that he weren’t always on my mind
If wishes were fast trains to Texas
I’d ride and I’d ride, how I’d ride

c – 1977 Susanna Wallis Clark

It’s That Time Again!

Yes! It’s that time of the weekend where I try not to lose my fucking mind over all the shifts the agency has suddenly assigned to me for the rest of the month!!

ME (looking at my schedule on my phone at 6:45AM): “Jeepers, McGee! Doesn’t anybody else fucking work there??!!”

Unbelievable. I actually had to send an email to politely tell them to please trim back my hours. I had no less than 26 shifts between now and the end of May. That includes a stretch of 15 shifts in a row with no day off, and zippo time off for Memorial Day weekend. (And NO TIME to go to the shooting range…)

They, of course, have no clue about the TV pilot project or the play going to Off-Broadway. (They have no clue YET — I haven’t put in for those 3 weeks of needed time-off to go to NYC.) So they don’t know just how much of my mind I’m losing right now.

Luckily, I also got to wake-up to stuff like this today:

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This evening, I head back to that nice facility where I have the new patient. It is a short shift and the weather tonight will be just beautiful! So the drive there & back should be really nice.

But before then —

YES! I forgot to mention the other day that my favorite 94-year-old Japanese man did indeed get his teeth back! And we went out for sashimi and sake. And yesterday, we went to the Nature Preserve and he was bowled over by how GREEN everything has finally gotten.

And today — well, today, I’m not sure what we’ll do. It is just a splendid day and I want to make sure he gets to spend most of it outdoors.

Yesterday, he said to me: “You are symbolic of everything that has been good and beautiful in my life. I love spending these final days of my life with you.”

I could barely process the magnitude of that, gang. It sort of wiped me out. But what a beautiful man he is. And what an amazing life he has had.

But when I say that I’m exhausted, it’s not just the physical part of the job. It’s more the emotional part of it that gets to me.

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Okay, here’s this!

George and Nick and Carly in a store in Denver:

And tonight they will be in Portland, OR. Buy tickets here!! The next 2 shows are sold out.

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From James Tabor:

Were there Connections Between Jesus and the Dead Sea Scrolls Community? (25 mins):

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And I think that’s it! I gotta scoot!!

I hope you have a super Saturday, wherever you are in the world!!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys! See ya!

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I absolutely love Emmylou Harris. The first time I heard her sing this amazing song, I was 15 years old and driving down to Virginia with my dad. It came on the car radio and it just quietly blew me away.

I need songs like this today! Emmylou Harris, “One of These Days” from her incredible album, Elite Hotel, 1976. Enjoy, gang!

“One Of These Days”

I won’t have to chop no wood
I can be bad or I can be good
I can be any way that I feel
One of these days

Might be a woman that’s dressed in black
Be a hobo by the railroad track
I’ll be gone like the wayward wind one of these days

One of these days it will soon be all over cut and dry
And I won’t have this urge to go all bottled up inside
One of these days I’ll look back and I’ll say I left in time
Cause somewhere for me I know there’s peace of mind

I might someday walk across this land
Carrying the Lord’s book in my hand
Goin’ cross the country singin’ loud as I can
One of these days

But I won’t have trouble on my back
cuttin’ like the devil with a choppin’ axe,
Got to shake it off my back, one of these days

One of these days it will soon be all over cut and dry
And I won’t have this urge to go all bottled up inside
One of these days I’ll look back and I’ll say I left in time
Cause somewhere for me I know there’s peace of mind
There’s gonna be peace of mind for me, one of these days

c- 1972 Earl Montgomery

Life/Unbelievable!

I wish I was able to go into all the details of what’s been happening around here lately, but ALL of it is good.

And, of course, as these things go with me — ALL of it ends up being exhausting. Because I have to constantly switch my focus from one thing to the next to the next, all day long. While also giving my undivided attention to whichever client I am with during my shifts. (FYI – people WhatsApp me or text me all day long during my shifts. I have to wait until I have absolutely nothing else needing my immediate attention before I can even read them, let alone send back a “thumb’s up”.)

When I look back on everything I manage to stay on top of in, say, 10 hours on a given day, it’s just insane.

And the agency has been asking me to pick up more shifts and since I want to make sure I have enough money for the trips to NYC and to pay the cat sitter, I just keep saying “YES”.

But it’s ALL good. (Not to mention that each shift brings reasons to remind me that it’s all over in a heartbeat, gang, so JUST DO IT!)

AND– I talked to Peitor about inserting a scene into our TV series (not the Pilot script, but in season 2), that will be an homage to Tsai Ming-liang’s film “The Hole”. Using the Grace Chang cha-cha song, “Wo Ai Qia Qia” (1957) that I play all the time while driving and, after he saw the YouTube “Wo Yao Ni” footage I sent him from “The Hole”, he was ecstatic!! (I posted both of these here recently, but they are again.)

We’ve already started revising the specific scene, and it will be off the charts, gang. (Two of our characters are Gen Z, M/F fraternal twins from Singapore.)

If, one day down the road, you are streaming our TV show in the comfort of your own home, and a particular scene pops up that uses unexpected popular music from any given era, and which seems particularly off-the-wall — you can assure yourself that the scene was initially spawned in my wee bonny brain while driving on the backroads of the Hinterlands with the music blasting!!

No, I don’t drink and drive. It just feels like I do!

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Okay!! Kitten update!

A couple of them are eating solid food now and using the litterbox!! How do they figure this stuff out, gang??

The little family just now:

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Okay.

Two more photos from the show in Denver the other night! There was just something about these photos that I really liked.

Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds play Portland, OR tomorrow night. You can buy tickets here!

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And I think that better be it for today, gang. As always, I gotta scoot!

Have a fantastic Friday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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I don’t think this song needs an introduction. But this is the song that was playing in Denver when the photographer took the photos above.

“Red Right Hand”. Enjoy, gang!!

And It Begins Again!!

I’m seriously hoping, gang, that nothing went wrong at the dentist and that my favorite 94-year-old Japanese man has teeth again!!

I’m planning to FINALLY take him back here for sashimi and sake today, if all went well!

We shall soon see! (And it also means a trip back to the incredible restaurant at the golf club will be right around the corner!!)

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Okay, I am officially extremely tired here but I am so excited about developments with the TV Pilot package, and I’m over the moon with what’s happening with “The Guide to Being Fabulous” and the women who are working with us, helping to get the staged reading to the Off-Broadway stage.

It is such a thrill for me, gang. Not just to be finally taking it to NYC, but the fact that this will be the version of the play that is true to Sandra’s life. The professional caliber of the people getting onboard makes me feel pretty confident that people will finally get to see the play as Sandra and I have been envisioning it for so many years.

I can’t tell you how much this means to me. After 11 years.

A rarely seen photo!! Back when Sandra and I first started working on the play!

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The kittens this morning!!!

And way in the back, there (a close-up of Wee Bonny Billy’s eye!) —

They no longer hang out in their playpen at all. And they scamper all over the room — even Wee Bonny Billy, with his 2 lame legs. I now have to look down at my feet at all times, so as not to step on anybody.

They are too cute, gang.

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I started watching this show on Netflix last night and I love it!! From 2019, in Japanese with English subtitles: “Midnight Diner: Tokyo Stories”. Here’s the official trailer:

I also started watching this film on Metrograph, but I am only halfway through: “Leonor Will Never Die”.

So far, I love it. The plot is incredible. As an aging woman writer, it really gives me something to think about.

It’s a dramedy. From the Philippines. This is the plot:

“Leonor Reyes was once a groundbreaking figure in the Filipino film industry during its ragtag action cinema glory days, but now she struggles with old age, mounting bills, and the untimely death of her son. While revisiting an unfinished script about a fearless protagonist trying to avenge his brother’s murder, Leonor is struck on the head by a falling television set and knocked into a coma. As she lies unconscious in the hospital, fantasy and reality begin to blur when Leonor finds herself awake inside her script, becoming the hero of her own story.”

Here’s the trailer:

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Here’s another photo of Nick Cave in Kansas City the other night!

They play Denver tonight! You can buy tickets here!

And Nick Cave sent out a really beautiful Red Hand File yesterday morning, giving spiritual advice to a young woman whose father recently died. He said, in part:

I suspect your father will hear your words, but I do not know. At the very least, by acknowledging the sacred and mysterious nature of things, these words will impact the general condition of the world, not to mention your own injured heart. I believe we must take our subtle spiritual intuitions seriously and view them as the quintessence that underlies the ordinary world. The rejection of the sacred is the fundamental reason for our existential discontent. “I love you” and “I am sorry” spoken into the universe are two sentiments forever worth declaring….”

You can read it in full here.

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And I think that’s it for now!

Enjoy your Wednesday, wherever you are in the world!!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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I never play music when I have a client in the car, because I need to pay 125% to my driving.

But if I were going to play music today, while heading out for sashimi, it would be this!! A great song for driving on a sunny day!

I’ve posted this song here many times, but it is such a classic!! France Gall, 1964, “Laisse tomber les filles” !!! Play it loud and try really hard to stick to the speed limit. Okay! Enjoy, gang. (Remember: No dancing while the car is in motion.)

It Begins!

This will be a quick post today because I not only have my usual shift to get to this morning, but I have a couple of new files from Peitor to read before I leave — and then another Zoom call with Sandra the minute I get home this afternoon!

I’m extremely excited, gang. It is official!

This will be my schedule for NYC between now and October:

  • One week in mid-July
  • 5 days in late August/Labor Day
  • One week in mid-October

The reading will be one night — possibly two nights– October 13th and/or 14th. Yay!!!!!!

It has only taken 11 years to get to this point!! (Meaning, Off-Broadway. Not counting the world premiere we had in Toronto in October 2023.)

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Two videos from James Tabor:

Go with Me into the 1st century Jerusalem Tomb of the Shroud! (16 mins):

Do Mainstream Judaism, Christianity, and Islam Reflect Abrahamic Faith? (25 mins):

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If you’re a member of Simon Parkes’ Connecting Consciousness group, there will be a live ZOOM tonight at 7PM Eastern time, with Matt Roeske, of Cultivate Elevate.

You have to be a member to watch,. You can join here, but you might not get approved for membership before tonight.

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Phil is planning to go live tonight, too. Check here later to confirm. No time announced yet.

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Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds played to a sold out audience last night in Kansas City. Most of the posts to Instagram were videos, though (so far). But here’s a photo!

Tomorrow night, they play Denver! You can buy tickets here!!

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And that is it for now, gang! I gotta scoot!!

Have a terrific Tuesday, wherever you are in the world!

Thanks for visting!

I love you guys. See ya!

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Another one from the new Willie Nelson album, Oh What A Beautiful World. The song was written by Rodney Crowell & Guy Clarke — “Stuff That Works”. Enjoy, gang!

“Stuff That Works”

I’ve got an old blue shirt and it suits me just fine
I like the way it feels so I wear it all the time
I’ve got an old guitar that won’t ever stay in tune
But I like the way it sounds in a dark and empty room

I’ve got an old pair of boots that fit my feet just right
I can work all day and go out and dance all night
I’ve got a new used car that runs just like a top
Yeah I get the feeling it ain’t ever gonna stop

Stuff that works stuff that holds up
Is the kind of stuff you don’t hang on the wall
Stuff that’s real that stuff you feel
Is the stuff you always reach for when you fall

I’ve got a pretty good friend who’s seen me at my worst
He don’t care if I’m a blessing or a curse
But he always shows up when the chips are down
That’s the kind of friend I like to be around
Stuff that works

There’s a woman I love she’s crazy and she paints like God
She’s got a playground sense of justice she don’t give odds
I’ve got a tattoo with her name right through my soul
And I think everything she touches turns to gold
Stuff that works
Stuff that works

c – 1995 – Rodney Crowell, Guy Clarke