Tag Archives: Tell My Bones: The Helen LaFrance Story

Hello, Autumn

Today, before I leave for my shift, I’m officially taking all the summer decorations off the porch and putting out the fall stuff.

I don’t have much fall stuff — maybe, like, 2 things. But it is definitely time to put the summer stuff back into the barn until next year.

And just FYI — I am the ONLY person left in my entire neighborhood who still has her summer stuff out on her porch! Everyone else has long ago switched to fall.

***********

Okay.

Yesterday was much more intense than I was expecting. Even though my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man’s family was, indeed, gone, they left PILES of junk all over the place, and did not order a special bulk pick-up truck to come haul it away.

My client was more upset yesterday than he’d been all week. I was a wreck by the time I got home yesterday. I was just so emotionally worn out from all of it.

Anyway.

We did find this yesterday, and it cheered him — 2 photos of the USS General Gordon, the ship that my client came back to the States on in 1948, when he was 17 years old. After the war, the ship was used as a passenger ship between Japan and the US. My client’s father had bought him a one-way, first-class ticket when the war was over, so that my client could move back to NYC and start his life. My client has wonderful memories of being 17, and on that ship, not knowing what was in store for him in the US, but he was really, really excited.

USS General Gordon
USS General Gordon

**************

And here’s this!

This overwhelmed me and actually kind of made me feel a little discouraged.

In anticipation of my new boombox arriving soon, wherein I will be able to study French from my old cassettes instead of relying on the language apps on my phone —

These are only the cassettes, books, study materials that are actually on the book shelves in my room. This doesn’t count what I still have in storage .

And when I skimmed through the text book that accompanies the “French in Three Months” cassettes above, I was so disheartened to see just how much French I actually used to know!!

One random page out of many!

I used to do business with French publishers a lot, so I used to actually need to know French. But I have always loved the language, since I was a little girl, when my Grandma first taught me how to sing “Frere Jacques” and taught me some simple French words. (She also taught me a little bit of Yiddish!!)

I have studied French, officially, since I was about 9 years old, back in Cleveland, and then I never stopped. (And even when I was confined to the mental hospital for 6 months at age 15, my mother arranged for a French tutor to come visit me once a week, anything to try to keep me engaged with living.)

And, you know, this doesn’t count that I also studied Chinese (Mandarin), and Hebrew. I used to really know these languages (and these alphabets), too.

It’s overwhelming, reacquainting myself with how much I used to know that I’ve essentially forgotten.

And this doesn’t count the brief times I studied Spanish, Italian, and German, and Portuguese.

That feeling of: where did the time go? And also the feeling of: Why keep bothering?

However. I will.

*************

Okay, here’s this.

It sort of took my breath away because I looked at it and realized: that was where my heart was; that’s where my heart has always been. This weird photo is my whole life.

It looks so strange from this angle, and yet, even from this angle, I know it so well:

The island of Manhattan. Also known as New York City!

*****************

And here’s this!!

This is a pre-cursor to tomorrow, which is Nick Cave’s birthday:

One of my all-time favorites!!

And then on Tuesday, this happens:

So, I’m guessing we will have more “official” Nick Cave photos then!

***************

Okay.

After finding those letters, and the photo, from Jack Red Eagle the other day, and thought that I could not be any more astounded by my own life–

While yet again looking for something entirely different yesterday evening, I found a folder that had all the letters my birth father had written to me.

He did not write many because usually we talked on the phone. A lot. In fact, he was always making these rules about how we had to stop talking long distance (which was expensive back then) and write letters instead. But that never lasted long.

Re-reading this specific letter yesterday, blew me away. And what’s interesting about the envelope is that he didn’t put my last name. I was still a professional singer back then and I went by “Marilyn Jaye.” My birth dad was so proud of my songwriting. He was also a songwriter, guitar player and singer (blues/country). I also like how he wrote “Suite 5” when that was truly a hellhole apartment!

This whole idea of “Time” and how it has really been getting to me this past year, well, finding those letters from my birth father is just a prime example of what I can’t process:

I first became obsessed with finding my birth dad when I was 12. It took me 17 years to find him. I knew him after that for 10 years before he died, and now he has been dead for close to 27 years. And that relationship was the most important journey of my entire life.

I just don’t get it. “Time” and what it is. (Although I am doing better about reminding myself to focus on “NOW” and allowing for how the past shaped the now, and to find joy in that.)

**************

Okay!!

I guess I’ll get outside and get the summer stuff into the barn. And try to do a little writing before heading out to see the retired Minister and his lovely cat! OOPS! Of course, I meant WIFE!!

Enjoy your Sunday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiitng.

I love you guys. See ya!

************

In keeping with everything fucking with my head these days–

I’m still listening to the 3-CD collection of Tom Petty live radio broadcasts (Transmission Impossible), but this morning, I switched to the 1st CD.

I hadn’t heard it in a long time. In fact, someone I loved very dearly, also named Tom, was still alive and in my life — and also a huge Tom Petty fan — the last time I listened to it.

I was literally sitting at the breakfast table, eating my breakfast when this particular song came on, and so many memories of the “old” Tom just flooded me. And the song lyrics always captured what we were about. Even though it’s an old song, I vividly remember the first time he and I heard Tom Petty’s version, together. And how in love we were. (For 2 months, before he died.)

I started to cry right there at the breakfast table this morning.

He’s been gone 7 years this month. When the fuck did that happen?

This is an old Dave Clark Five song, by the way. From 1965. TP & the HBs knock it out of the park.

Okay. Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, “Any Way You Want It”, 1987, Live at the Coliseum. Enjoy, gang.

“Any Way You Want It”

Any way you want it
You can call me any day, hey, hey, hey
Any way you want it
You can always hear me say, hey, hey, hey

It’s all right (it’s all right)
It’s all right (it’s all right)
It’s all right (it’s all right)
It’s all right (it’s all right)
Any way you want it
That’s the way it will be

You don’t want money
You don’t want a diamond ring, hey, hey, hey
You say you want my lovin’
More than any other thing, hey, hey, hey

It’s all right (it’s all right)
It’s all right (it’s all right)
It’s all right (it’s all right)
It’s all right (it’s all right)
Any way you want it
That’s the way it will be

Any way, any way you want it
That’s all right by me
Any way, any way you want it
That’s the way it will be

Any way you want it
You can call me any day, hey, hey, hey
Any way you want it
You can always hear me say, hey, hey, hey

It’s all right (it’s all right)
It’s all right (it’s all right)
It’s all right (it’s all right)
It’s all right (it’s all right)
Any way you want it
That’s the way it will be

Any way, any way you want it
That’s all right by me
Any way, any way you want it
That’s the way it will be

Any way you want it
You can call me any day, hey, hey, hey
Any way you want it
You can always hear me say, hey, hey, hey

It’s all right (it’s all right)
It’s all right (it’s all right)
It’s all right (it’s all right)
It’s all right (it’s all right)
Any way you want it
That’s the way it will be
That’s the way it will be
That’s the way it will be
That’s the way it will be

c – 1965 Dave Clark

Let’s Get this Party Started!

Somewhere. please. Let’s have a party already. So much cool stuff is happening! (But we’re not supposed to talk about it…)

Anyway.

I will just quickly post again that I am doing my very best to NOT TOUCH this current psyop. It seems exceedingly apparent that they want to push the chaos as far as they possibly can. The world over.

Hence, Phil’s really strange and (IMO intentionally) frustrating livestream last night. (You can watch it here.)

Personally, I am relying on Mike King right now, because he is quick and to the point (i.e., his latest: Fake Bibi Denies Fake Murder of Ch*rlie K**k). And Mike King doesn’t seem to be invested in this seeming mandate to push the chaos instead (although he does indeed acknowledge it.).

But on a slightly different note — I found this next bit extremely exciting.

FakeNews7 reposted it from Derek Johnson yesterday. It is really long so I’m only copying the part I liked best (since, obviously, I have basically invested my entire career in protecting the 1st Amendment):

“…But the importance is this is an Emergency Power by the President.

Restricting Telecommunications.

Title 47: Telecommunications.

PDJT has posted twice the Appeals Court upheld the Ban on Associated Press from being at White House and MAR.

Schiff confirms this.

A confirmation is more than the confirmation of the AP.

That’s confirmation of the Wartime Order in place.

47 United States Code §606 is titled: WAR POWERS of the President.

If they’re upholding a ban in 2025… it means the ban was put into place long before.

PDJT has HAMMERED ABC, NBC, CNN, PBS, NPR, and now they’re working on MSNBC.

The only way employees can be fired via a Freedom of Speech / Press is under a WARTIME ORDER.…”

[the full post is here]

****************

Okay. Onward.

Well, I’m a little bit frustrated because my new blue-light-blocking reader glasses already broke! The right side arm thingie snapped in two last night. And it turned out it was not easy to fix and now they are extremely uncomfortable to wear.

I’ve already ordered another pair — different company. Although I did read a lot of comments that these types of glasses, in general, break really easily.

I’m not going to get too upset about it, though. Because the main thing is that these blue-light-blocking readers have a made a HUGE difference in my eyes. And so quickly. And I’m just so glad to have them at all — even the broken ones. (And they are not expensive.)

***********

I’ve been wanting to post about this for a few days, but kept getting overwhelmed by my actual life. (As a caregiver, that is.)

Anyway.

It is a free online book event, one-hour. It will be recorded if you can’t attend the whole thing.

It is being offered by Internet Archives. It is FREE, 1 hr. Thursday, Sept. 25 at 1PM Eastern time.

Book Talk: After Disruption: A Future For Cultural Memory

“The digital age is burning out our most precious resources and the future of the past is at stake. In After Disruption: A Future for Cultural Memory, Trevor Owens warns that our institutions of cultural memory—libraries, archives, museums, humanities departments, research institutes, and more—have been “disrupted,” and largely not for the better. He calls for memory workers and memory institutions to take back control of envisioning the future of memory from management consultants and tech sector evangelists…” (more at link below)

Get your FREE ticket here.

************

This photo alone made my entire evening!

An update from Wayne’s outing with his brothers yesterday:

Honestly, I cannot believe these guys are all officially in their 70s now. When Wayne and I first got married, they were all in their late 30s…

************

And here’s this!

First–

Keith, in Berlin in 1973:

And second–

I kept forgetting to post this, too:

The Rolling Stones Have 13 New Songs Ready — A Mysterious Album Is “Nearly Finished” — (3 minutes)

“The Stones aren’t done yet. Insiders confirm that 13 brand-new tracks have already been recorded for their next album. Mick Jagger says they’re “three-quarters through,” while Marlon Richards insists it’s “nearly finished.” No title, no artwork, no release date — just the silence before the storm. When it drops, it won’t just be an album. It will be an event.”

************

And the good news on the caregiving front is that my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man’s family goes back home this morning.

So life gets back to normal today. (They’re coming back in October, but we’ll deal with that in October.)

I’m anticipating a quiet day with him today. We shall soon see.

The Agency asked me to pick up a new client on Monday, my day off, and since I need the money, I said okay. The drive there and back is on one of those really beautiful backroads here in Muskingum County, so that part will be nice, except that it’s supposed to rain on Monday. But we’ll see how it goes.

It will probably be pretty even in the rain, right?

***************

And I think that is it for now.

Enjoy your Saturday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

**************

Driving to town music from yesterday!

Yes, I’m still playing the soundtrack to Pack Up the Planation LIVE 1985, by Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers.

They do a great live version of this song — written by John & Joan Sebastian, but the Everly Brothers had a hit with it in 1972.

“The Stories We Could Tell”. Live, by Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, at the Hammersmith Odeon, London, 1985. Enjoy, gang!

“The Stories We Could Tell”

Talkin’ to myself again
Wondering if this travelin’ is good
Is there something better we’d be doing if we could
And oh the stories we could tell
And if this all blows up and goes to hell
I can still see us sittin on the bed in some motel
Listenin’ to the stories we could tell

Remember that guitar in a museum in Tennessee
And the nameplate on the glass brought back twenty melodies
And the scratches on the face
Told of all the times he fell
Singin’ every story he could tell
And oh the stories it could tell
And I bet you it still rings like a bell
And I wish we could sit back on the bed in some motel
And listen to the stories we could tell

So if you’re on the road tracking down here every night
And you’re singin’ for a livin’ ‘neath the brightly colored lights
And if you ever wonder why you ride this carousel
You did it for the stories you could tell
And oh the stories we could tell

And if this all blows up and goes to hell
I can still see us sittin on the bed in some motel
Listenin’ to the stories we could tell
I can still see us sittin on the bed in some motel
Listenin’ to the stories we could tell

c- 1972 – John and Joan Sebastian

Yes, Today’s the Big Day!

Wherein I drive to a really beautiful small town, 30 miles from here, called Coshocton. And I have my very first doctor’s appointment in 24 years….

Not the doctor’s office…just a random shot of Coshocton

And even though it is another really stunning day here and the drive will be gorgeous, I will be very, very happy when the appointment is over.

I’m going to smile and be cheerful and cooperative, though, and not act like a Big-Pharma-Medical-Mafia-hating Conspiracy Theorist…

Me. Faking it.

***********

So, this morning has been interesting. Guess who I heard from for the first time in 17 months??

The woman who is the actual owner of 5 of my cats. The ones that I call the “foster cats”.

It was really good to hear from her, primarily because I had feared the worst — that maybe she had passed away. I won’t go into why I thought that.

But she and her husband are getting their lives together now and will soon have an apartment of their own.

It would mean that all of their stuff would finally be out of my barn. And it of course would also mean that 5 of the cats will be out of my home.

Of course it breaks my heart, because now I love all of them, but it would also be a relief. Obviously. I have way too many cats.

We’ll see, though. Just because I heard from her, doesn’t mean I will hear from her again.

Me, most days.

*************

Yesterday was a rough one, gang.

I was with my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man, and if you’ve read yesterday’s post, you know that he has family at the house this week, pretending to “winterize” his house, when really they are trying to fix it up to get it easier to get the house on the real estate market basically the minute he dies.

It is astounding to me that they don’t see that he totally knows what they’re doing. They don’t see what they’re putting him through, emotionally.

The only thing that’s “wrong” with him is short term memory loss. He can still perceive things. It was so hard for me to not show the family how angry I was with how they’re going about all this.

When I got there, there was total chaos all around the outside of the house, but he was inside, dressed, and sitting in his chair in the living room. He smiled and quietly said to me, “Get me away from them.”

So off we went to Peony Bistro for sashimi and sake, then we went to the Nature Preserve and just sat in the car for an hour. And he told me everything that he fears is getting ready to happen. And most of his fears, I felt, were kind of right on the money…

I won’t go into all of it, but thankfully, my Supervisor from the Agency called me when I got home yesterday, so that I could “update her” while getting everything off my chest (and eventually calm down). She was so supportive.

Yes, he is losing his interest in living. But that doesn’t mean take his house right out from under him. (His house and property are worth a fortune.)

**************

Okay.

This arrived in the mail yesterday!

In the recent zoom call with his private Patreon group, James Tabor spent some time going over this film from 2002.

It aired on the History Channel (2002), and it was directed by Simcha Jacobovici, who is a close friend and colleague of James Tabor’s, and whose work I really enjoy.

Even though a lot of things have come to light about this ossuary since 2002 (great things!), I am still looking forward to watching it.

************

But meanwhile, I am re-watching THIS and just loving it:

Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers – Pack Up the Plantation Live! 1985 (1 hr 37 mins):

And I’m also listening to the soundtrack of it in my car. (Yes, I am no longer listening to “songs I played a lot 6 years ago” but that does not mean I graduated past 1985…)

When Tom Petty sang live he was incredible. He usually gave a whole different emotional spin to his songs than what came across on the studio recordings. And the songs still sound so immediate and personal — and like he hasn’t been dead for almost 8 years already.

This track, where he (and the audience) sing “Breakdown” is really well known, but I especially love all the stuff he says/sings at the end!

***********

And I listened to this while getting dinner ready last night and I thought it was fantastic. I especially loved the part about “Now.” (At about the 6-minute mark) (Ignore the title, that’s just click-bait.)

🌟 Get Ready for WILD Blessings – The Universe Is About to Amaze You 👑 Abraham Hicks 2025 (15 mins):

**********

And here’s this!!

For no reason. Just because!!

Nick Cave.

This will absolutely NOT be my attitude in the doctor’s office today!!

************

Phil is planning to go live tonight at 9PM, but check here later to confirm!

************

And that is it for now. I need to get some stuff done before heading out to Coshocton.

And then once I’m back from Coshocton, I hope to get some writing done!!

Enjoy your Thursday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

**********

Yes, as you saw yesterday, my breakfast-listening music is not too different from what I’m listening to in the car right now!!

Breakfast-listening music!!

From 2015. A collection of Live Radio Broadcasts from the 1970s. And I’m mainly listening to the 3rd CD right now, because it has a lot of live duets with Bob Dylan.

Since it is essentially Fall now, I decided it was time to move on from The Monkees and go back to Tom Petty.

When he played live, he covered a lot of songs that had been hits by other artists. Here he sings with Bob Dylan — a favorite song of mine by John Hiatt & Ry Cooder, “Across the Borderline.” Enjoy, gang.

“Across the Borderline”

There’s a place where I’ve been told
Every street is paved with gold
And it’s just across the borderline
And when it’s time to take your turn
Here’s a lesson that you must learn
You could lose more than you’ll ever hope to find

[Chorus]
When you reach the broken promised land
And every dream slips through your hands
Then you’ll know that it’s too late to change your mind
‘Cause you’ve paid the price to come so far
Just to wind up where you are
And you’rе still just across the borderline

Up and down thе Rio Grande
A thousand footprints in the sand
Reveal a secret no one can define
The river flows on like a breath
In between our life and death
Tell me, who’s the next to cross the borderline?

[Chorus]
And when you reach the broken promised land
Every dream slips through your hands
And you’ll know it’s too late to change your mind
‘Cause you pay the price to come so far
Just to wind up where you are
And you’re still just across the borderline
Now you’re still just across the borderline

c – 1982 John Hiatt, Ry Cooder, Jim Dickinson

A really, really, really unusual world!

In my room, I mean.

But first — there’s this:

If you live anywhere near Newark, Ohio and want to participate, this candlelight vigil is tonight–

If you are not familiar with this area, be prepared — it is small but loaded with restaurants, theaters, offices and it is really hard to find a place to park, even in the best of circumstances.

The Square in downtown Newark, OH

***********

And here’s this!

As soon as I posted to the blog yesterday, naturally Nick Cave’s Official Instagram account released the announcement about July 31, 2026!

And it is this!!

“I am thrilled beyond words to return to my beloved Brighton with The Bad Seeds to play Preston Park. It’s a homecoming! It’s going to be big, bad and beautiful. An epic show!!!” Nick Cave

[I think “big, bad, and beautiful” and “epic” are all euphemisms for pandemonium, but we shall see! — Ed.]

Presale for tickets begins next Thursday, Sept. 25th, 10AM UK time. You can register here for presale access.

Meanwhile, here’s this!

Nick Cave and Rowland S. Howard at school in Melbourne, 1975 — already contemplating the pandemonium in Brighton, 2026…

***************

And here’s this–

Keith at home at Nellcote, in the South of France, 1971 (he is about 27 years old):

And just in case you have any interest in this whatsoever —

This is the very photo that first made me fall in love with Keith Richards when I was just turning 12!! I first saw it while alone in my room, naturally!

Photo by Norman Seeff, Los Angeles 1972, Exile on Main St promo.

My room was in this house (in Columbus, OH) , and as luck would have it, the window to my room is on the upper left and now — lo! these many decades later! — totally hidden by the tree:

And here’s this, just because it sums up my whole entire life — The Beach Boys, from 1963, “In My Room” (!!):

************

There is an Iraqi dinar update from yesterday. You can find it on Sara Hopps telegram channel HERE.

“$1 dinar notes are out and articles are being published. Let’s see how the rest of this day plays out…. But things are moving and now IRAQ 🇮🇶 is finally taking major steps! This is an excellent start on a Monday!”

*************

And now we can go back to the title of this post — “A really, really, really, unusual world”.

And it refers, of course, to my room.

I decided to dust the bookshelves in my room this morning, because they haven’t been dusted since Spring, and — lo! and behold! — what did I find but these 2 textbooks that I totally forgot I had!

They were not my textbooks, but given to me by a friend back in 2020. They had been his textbooks and, since I have that Ministry Degree, he thought I would appreciate them.

And I did! And I appreciate them anew this morning!! Wow.

2 textbooks about the Reformation! The one on the left is HUGE. And that slim volume, The Western World, focuses solely on Martin Luther, John Calvin, and Saint Theresa of Avila.

I’m guessing that at this point in my life, I am simply meant to learn all I can about the Protestant Reformation without even leaving my room. Who knew?

And I have to add, yet again, that this series of lectures I’m currently taking (about the Protestant Reformation) continues to basically blow my mind every single day. And not always in a good way — considering the amount of executions, violence, etc.

And here’s this.

From yesterday.

I posted these 2 photos to my Instagram page. I posted the first one because I thought it was kind of amusing that I am once again really falling behind in my current reading. On my night table:

And then, after I came home from having lunch with my girlfriend, yet another highly anticipated book was waiting for me on my kitchen porch!!

Now on my night table…

And yesterday morning, before I even left for lunch, I ordered THIS book because a friend in France had recently read it and it sounded really great! So that, too, is on its way! (I ordered it in English translation, though.)

And sort of in a similar vein —

I also ordered one of these yesterday!!

To keep by my bed. Because it has a CASSETTE PLAYER!!!!

And honestly, gang, I have been noticing that it was so much easier for me to study Chinese and French in the old days because I used cassettes. I don’t know — the in-depth quality of the lessons was just so much better than what I have access to on my language-learning phone apps.

And since I still have ALL those various cassettes (and the accompanying textbooks), but no handy cassette player– wow! This little boombox from Jensen was so affordable! (Plus, I will be able to easily play CDs in my room, now, too!)

*********

So, basically, between studying and now READING all about the Protestant Reformation. And STILL studying French. And re-studying Mandarin, Chinese. And finishing my novel-in-progress, The Curse of Our Profound Disorder. And working on our play, “The Guide to being Fabulous,” readying it for Off-Broadway, along with the NEXT unbelievably awesome project with Sandra that I still can’t post about ….

I am now and forever, as I always have been for decades and decades, going to be in my room.

And with that, I want to get started on the writing for today, since I have the day off!!

*********

Have a terrific Tuesday, wherever you are in the world!!

Thanks for visiting!

I love you guys. See ya!

**********

Okay!!

Another song from my “songs I was listening to 6 years ago playlist” and yes, as it turns out, it’s another great song from my wee bonny teenage girlhood!!!!

When this song was a (smash) hit, I was going through probably the nadir of my existence. 1974 was one of the worst years of my life. And this song is so upbeat and so full of kindness and so hopeful. I just loved it. (Apparently, I loved it again when I was 59!!)

Billy Swan, “I Can Help”, 1974! Enjoy, gang!!

“I Can Help”

If you got a problem
Don’t care what it is
If you need a hand
I can assure you this

I can help
I got two strong arms
I can help
It would sure do me good to do you good
Let me help

It’s a fact that people get lonely
Ain’t nothing new
But a woman like you
Baby should never have the blues

Let me help
I got two for me
Let me help
It would sure do me good to do you good
Let me help

When I go to sleep at night
You’re always a part of my dream
Holding me tight and
Telling me everything I wanna hear

Don’t forget me baby
All you gotta do is call
You know how I feel about ya
If I can do anything at all
Let me help

If your child needs a daddy
I can help
It would sure do me good to do you good
Let me help

When I go to sleep at night
You’re always a part of my dream
Holding me tight and
Telling me everything I wanna hear

Don’t forget me, baby
All you gotta do is call
You know how I feel about you
If I can do anything at all
Let me help

If your child needs a daddy
I can help
It would sure do me good to do you good
Let me help

c- 1974 Billy Swan

Great Day Underway!

Yes!! The Agency texted me TWICE already this morning, wanting me to pick up some urgent shifts today and tomorrow — however!!

LUNCH is on my horizon for today!! With my Q-following girlfriend, as we belatedly celebrate her birthday at 3 Tigers Brewing Co in Granville! And I’m not missing that for anything.

And then, of course, tomorrow, I need the whole day to work on getting the novel ever closer to its ending. (And I still have no clue how this novel ends, gang. The pages just keep coming out of me, with me having no clue beforehand what is getting ready to hit the page.)

**********

Still no word from Nick Cave’s Official Instagram page about what the announcement about July 31, 2026 is going to be!

Everyone’s sort of just waiting…

*************

And here’s this!!

2 remarkably different looks sported by another one of my treasured heroes who is long gone now–

Lou Reed:

And here’s this, in case you never heard it before– a demo of my song, “Lou”, from 1984. (This version, recorded by me and Peitor Angell, when we were hanging around his apartment, back in the very OLD days, when he lived on Broadway in Manhattan.)

(When I then played this demo for my incredible friend Bob Cato at Columbia Records, he said, “Why on Earth are you singing like that?? What am I supposed to do with this??”)

(Although, an earlier demo, of just me and my guitar in my room on E.12th Street, was given directly to Lou by my good friend Joe Queenan.)

"Lou"

Come watch the rain
Wipe out the ballgame and
Strike-out the names
Of players who’d gamble
With needles and dreams
In a game that’s as ruthless
as whiskey on speed

Who’ll call the game
On account of the rules being
Too tough to save
Any losers who’d forfeit
In a halo of fear?
Well, shame takes a holiday,
Let’s have a beer

CHORUS:
Fight, and maybe you’ll find
A reason to smile
At the end of the line
Why don’t you fight?
Maybe you’ll win
And you’ll have some stories to tell
For trying

Strike up a tune
For those who surrendered
And ducked out too soon;
Vice in the shadow
Was no easy crime
Let’s make it a double
For auld lang sine

You carve your name
In seasons of anger
of laughter and fame
To warn of the dangers
In packaging pain
For lives that get tossed
On account of the rain

© 1984 Marilyn Jaye Lewis
First of May Songs, BMI

*********

Here’s this–

The day after the notorious, horrific Altamont Concert in 1969.

Keith and Charlie, leaving California:

***********

This really amused me.

Back in the late 1990s, I was reading a collection of letters written by Edgar Allan Poe. And in the foreword, it said that he was living on the Upper West Side in Manhattan — around W.84th and Broadway — when these specific letters were written.

I lived at W.98th and West End Avenue at the time, so I used to stroll around W.84th, trying to imagine which old brownstone he might have lived in!!

Well, who knew????

There weren’t even any apartment buildings up there back when he lived there!!

Here’s this!

I definitely would have noticed an old farmhouse in the nieghborhood, if it had still been there…

The “old” neighborhood…

************

And I think that might be it for now. I’m gonna get myself ready to head to town for lunch.

BTW, it is another really gorgeous day. I am really looking forward to just hanging out and relaxing (and laughing) with my girlfriend.

Okay. Enjoy your Monday, wherever you are in the world!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

***********

Yes!

Another one from the playlist from 6 years ago!!

Okay, this one just astounded me, gang.

When I was in my teens, my adopted mom LOVED Neil Diamond. So we always played his records together.

I remember this song (and album) extremely well. What a great album it was. It came out when I was still living at home, age 16, in 1976.

Beautiful Noise (seriously, a great album, produced by Robbie Robertson):

When the song below came on the playlist yesterday — when I was driving to my shift — it was one of those feelings, gang. It sent a chill right through me.

I realized that this song totally captured what it was like when I moved to NYC and had, what I refer to as, “my life” there. And how it feels now to remember it all. I almost cried right there in the car. Wow.

Anyway. “If You Know What I Mean”, 1976. From Beautiful Noise. Enjoy, gang.

“If You Know What I Mean”

When the night returns just like a friend
When the evening comes to set me free
When the quiet hours
That wait beyond the day
Make peaceful sounds in me

Took a drag from my last cigarette
Took a drink from a glass of old wine
I closed my eyes and I could make it real
And feel it one more time

Can you hear it, babe
Can you hear it, babe
From another time, from another place
Do you remember it, babe

And the radio played like a carnival tune
As we lay in our bed in the other room
When we gave it away
For the sake of a dream in a penny arcade
If you know what I mean
If you know what I mean, babe

And here’s to the songs we used to sing
And here’s to the times we used to know
It’s hard to hold them in our arms again
But hard to let them go
Do you hear it, babe
Do you hear it, babe

It was another time
It was another place
Do you remember it, babe

And the radio played like a carnival tune
As we lay in our bed in the other room
When we gave it away
For the sake of a dream in a penny arcade
If you know what I mean
If you know what I mean
If you know what I mean
If you know what I mean

If you know what I mean, babe
If you know what I mean

c – 1976, Neil Diamond

It sure is hitting the fan, isn’t it?

But I am seriously not gonna go there.

I think I have an idea of the script they might be working from, an overview maybe? — they are pushing utter chaos. From all corners. And multiplied by the National Guard already in place in — what? — 19 States?

I’m not touching it. But it’s looking pretty good. IMO.

*********

Meanwhile.

Here’s more from the Stones in the RCA recording studio in Los Angeles in 1965 (photos by Gered Mankowitz)–

I love how (the late-great) Ian Stewart is looking right at the camera:

And just FYI, Keith was barely 22 years old in 1965!!

************

Before I forget–

Ever since I upgraded to the iPhone 16e, my eyes have really been killing me. Even though the phone goes to “night” during the night, I can’t do the “night” setting all day long. It also hurts my eyes. And I have the brightness turned down as low as I reasonably can while still being able to see the screen…

I have a blue-light filter on my laptop, but I can’t find one on the iPhone 16e.

So I bought a pair of those “reader” glasses that filter out blue light and, WOW, gang! Immediately, my eyes felt so much better.

Not while looking at the phone — my eyes didn’t bother me while I was looking at the phone, it was when I was done looking at the phone and trying to live the rest of my life. My eyes were really going downhill fast.

These blue light blockers instantaneously made a difference in how everything looks when I’m done looking at the phone. I am so glad I decided to try them.

*************

I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.

I said I wasn’t going to keep posting photos of Nick Cave from now until January 17th, when the next tour starts

But here’s this!

Just so beautiful. And not just the hair…

************

And as for everything else…

I got a couple of loads of laundry underway here. And I also have to do some quick vacuuming.

Then it’s all about The Curse of our Profound Disorder until I have to leave for my shift with the retired Minister and his lovely wife later this afternoon!

Then 3 more days off this coming week!

Yes, I have no clue how I can afford to live on 4 shifts a week for the remainder of the month, but I guess we’re gonna find out!!

I really, really, really need to get the novel done, so that I can send it off and then focus on the upcoming projects with Sandra.

And as soon as I can tell you more about all this, I will!

***********

And I think that’s it.

Have a beautiful Sunday wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

*********

I leave you with this!!

Yes, I have now moved to the playlist of “songs I was listening to 6 years ago”. As if 5 years ago wasn’t enough of a mindfuck… (Who on Earth thought up this idea to create playlists of songs I had in heavy rotation so many years ago??)

Well, first off, it’s heavy on the Tom Petty. And Nick Cave. And Lyle Lovett.

But I leave you with this!

Another treasure from my wee bonny girlhood, that apparently I was once again re-visiting heavily when I was 59.

“Father and Son” by Cat Stevens, from his 1970 album, Tea for the Tillerman.

I really, really loved this song when I was about 12, alone in my room. I’m guessing you can readily grasp why. But it’s interesting that all these years later, when it came on the playlist while I was driving to town yesterday — I realized I can still relate, but now from the other side.

Okay. Enjoy, gang,

“Father and Son”

[Father]
It’s not time to make a change
Just relax, take it easy
You’re still young, that’s your fault
There’s so much you have to know
Find a girl, settle down
If you want you can marry
Look at me
I am old, but I’m happy
I was once like you are now
And I know that it’s not easy
To be calm
When you’ve found something going on
But take your time, think a lot
Why, think of everything you’ve got
For you will still be here tomorrow
But your dreams may not

[Son]
How can I try to explain?
When I do, he turns away again
It’s always been the same
Same old story
From the moment I could talk
I was ordered to listen
Now there’s a way
And I know that I have to go away
I know, I have to go

[Father & (Son)]
It’s not time to make a change (Away, away, away)
Just sit down, take it slowly
You’re still young, that’s your fault (I know)
There’s so much you have to go through (I have to make this decision)
Find a girl, settle down (Alone)
If you want you can marry
Look at me (No)
I am old, but I’m happy

Son & (Father)]
All the times that I’ve cried (Stay, stay, stay)
Keeping all the things I knew inside
It’s hard
But it’s harder to ignore it (Why must you go)
If they were right, I’d agree (And make this decision)
But it’s them they know, not me (Alone)
Now there’s a way
And I know that I have to go away
I know, I have to go

c – 1970 – Cat Stevens/ Yusuf

Just a quick howdy from the Hinterlands

If you saw my update from late yesterday afternoon, you can guess that I am in good spirits around here.

I am of course very aware of all that is going on out in the rest of the world. If you have followed this blog for any amount of time, you already know what side I’m on and what I am likely to believe right now.

I think it is an astounding plan and I am quietly amazed by how well it’s going. That’s all I really want to post about it, though.

From Mike King

Nice work, ‘Charlie.’ Enjoy your new life.

************

Other than that, things really are quiet around here. But that’s an okay thing.

I’m heading out soon to see my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man. I am trying to get the very most out of every moment with him these days, gang, because he is definitely expressing — in no uncertain terms — that he has had a really wonderful life and he is “ready to go upstairs”. And since his recent 95th birthday, his energy is definitely changing,

His private nurse is trying hard to come up with ways to change his outlook; to re-engage him. But she thinks like a nurse, and I think like a minister. Obviously, I will feel a true emptiness whenever it is that he ends up crossing over. I have enjoyed every single moment of knowing him.

However, I feel it is my duty to him to support his flow, his journey, to simply be beside him in the moments he has left here. Not to fight against his spirit. So my concentration these days is just in being there with him and sharing in all the joy he remembers from a life that has been very well lived.

But it is intense, gang — that moment when I walk in his kitchen door now. One of these days, and obviously we don’t know when, but one of these days everything will be over.

Meanwhile…

***********

Here’s this.

A fun photo of Keith and Charlie, taken in the RCA recording studio in Los Angeles, in 1965. Photo by Gered Mankowitz.

**********

And I guess I’m not going to post a photo of Nick Cave every single day between now and January 17th, when the Bad Seeds’ tour of Australia gets underway, so we can just part with this, for now:

Nick and Conway. Doing what we all loved doing back then!

I’m guessing there will be photos on Sept. 23rd. We shall see!

Meanwhile, Autumn is really right around the corner now. Summer is done.

**********

I’m going to try to get a tiny bit of editing work done on The Curse of Our Profound Disorder before I head to town this morning, so I’m gonna scoot.

Enjoy your Saturday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

***********

I leave you with this!

This song is the ONLY song on the playlist from “songs I was listening to 5 years ago” that was actually a new song 5 years ago!

The absolutely only song! And the playlist lasts one hour.

I really loved the Ghosteen album when it came out. So much. But as time goes on, I just find that it gets sadder and sadder for me, and it is so hard to listen to.

When this song came on, it surprised me that it was on the list. And the intensity of the song was just sort of spellbinding.

Anyway. I leave you with a song that was actually a new song, 5 years ago!

Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, “Waiting for You”, 2019. From Ghosteen. Enjoy, gang.

“Waiting for You”

All through the night we drove
And the wind caught her hair
And we parked on the beach
In the cool evening air
Well, sometimes it’s better not to say anything at all

Your body is an anchor
Never asked to be free
Just want to stay in the business
Of making you happy
Well, I’m just waiting for you
Waiting for you
Waiting for you
Waiting for you
Waiting for you
Waiting for you

A priest runs through the chapel
All the calendars are turning
A Jesus freak on the street
Says He is returning
Well, sometimes a little bit of faith
Can go a long, long way

Your soul is my anchor
I never asked to be freed
Well, sleep now, sleep now
Take as long as you need
Cause I’m just waiting for you
Waiting for you
Waiting for you
Waiting for you
Waiting for you
Waiting for you
To return
To return
To return

c – 2019 Nick Cave

Off to town soon!

And it is another really stunning day!

I’ll be seeing my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man today. And it’s our day to get sashimi and sake. And maybe stop at the Nature Preserve again on the way home, because it is such a beautiful day.

Although, sometimes we just sit in the car with the windows open and look at all the nature, because he is sometimes too tired to get out of the car and be in all the nature.

Still, there is plenty of nature to look at!

Spring Valley Nature Preserve, Granville

And then it’s also my day to run some quick errands in town on my way home, but it should still be an easy, lovely day. We shall see!!

**********

Phil did indeed do his live last night.

The conclusions he comes to about Charlie Kirk essentially match what Mike King said yesterday morning.

Here is Phil’s replay of you missed it .

Charlie Kirk – September 11th, 2025 (2 hr 24 mins):

************

And here’s this!

First off, Nick Cave‘s official Instagram site announced this morning that on September 15th there will be an announcement about something that will happen on July 31, 2026! Yay! What could be more exciting??

And here’s this!

The final set list of Nick Cave’s Solo Tour of Europe 2025! Practically the best encore ever!! (I don’t actually know what would be the “Best Encore Ever”, I’m just sayin’ this one is really great!)

And a few photos from the final night of the tour — in Luxembourg:

And here’s this!!

**********

Okay!

And if you saw my cryptic update from yesterday afternoon

Wow, gang.

I am getting ready to be CRAZY busy. Again. And so I must take every moment I can for what’s left of September to FINISH The Curse of Our Profound Disorder, and then get it off to the publisher, poste haste– and to Wayne!! So that the novel can finally be done (first draft, at least) and I can, once again, clear my desk for some Sandra-related projects that will likely take over my life.

Yay!

We shall see, gang. I will let you in on more details as talks progress.

Meanwhile, we’re really happy over here.

**********

And I guess that’s it for now. I gotta scoot.

Enjoy your Friday, wherever you are in the world!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

**********

I leave you with this!

I’m not sure when I’m gonna stop playing that playlist from 5 years ago

What a weird time warp it creates: “Here! Listen to some songs you loved listening to 5 years ago, that were already really old songs 5 years ago!”

And it turns out, I still love them so now I can’t quit playing them!!

Ironically, here’s this for today!!

Tom Petty, “Time to Move On”, 1994. From his wildly successful solo album, Wildflowers. Enjoy, gang.

“Time To Move On”

It’s time to move on, time to get going
What lies ahead, I have no way of knowing
But under my feet, baby, grass is growing
It’s time to move on, it’s time to get going

Broken skyline, movin’ through the airport
She’s an honest defector
Conscientious objector
Now her own protector

Broken skyline, which way to love land
Which way to something better
Which way to forgiveness
Which way do I go

It’s time to move on, time to get going
What lies ahead, I have no way of knowing
But under my feet, baby, grass is growing
It’s time to move on, it’s time to get going

Sometime later, getting the words wrong
Wasting the meaning and losing the rhyme
Nauseous adrenaline
Like breakin’ up a dogfight
Like a deer in the headlights
Frozen in real time
I’m losing my mind

It’s time to move on, time to get going
What lies ahead, I have no way of knowing
But under my feet, baby, grass is growing
It’s time to move on, it’s time to get going

c – 1994 Tom Petty

Think

That’s all I’m going to post about yesterday.

Tonight, Phil goes live at 7PM. Primarily because today is the anniversary of 9-11. But also, because of Charlie Kirk.

Check here later to confirm, but I seriously HOPE he does not cancel.

**************

Okay.

I’m posting late because Bobby McGee and Freddie McFee had their post-surgery follow-up visit to the vet this morning, and they passed with flying colors.

They are now free to go on with their frisky little lives!

************

Okay.

So as of this moment, I have the rest of the day off.

I’ve already taken my walk — and, wow, what a gorgeous morning it is out there. Unbelievable.

I sure could use an afternoon, hanging with my Q-following friend at Tequilaville — yesterday wore us both out.

But as luck would have it, we’re having lunch together on Monday — to belatedly celebrate her recent birthday — at Three Tigers Brewing Co in Granville!! So I’m just going to hang around here today and write.

3 Tigers Brewing Co

***********

Here’s this.

From Instagram yesterday–

I’m posting this because he was my cousin. He was actually first cousins with my Grandma — my favorite person on Earth. Their fathers were brothers. They all came over from Poland together, in the early 1900s.

Star of stage & screen in the 1930s & 40s, John Garfield:

John Garfield

Oh, and here’s this:

“…Near the end of his life, in an effort to clear his name, Garfield began work on an article for Look magazine, in which he would denounce communism without “naming names”; his lawyer advised him to concede that he had been “duped” into contributing time and money to communist front groups.[11] He then arranged to meet with the FBI to press his case. At the meeting, however, the FBI representatives showed him a dossier on his wife Roberta (known as “Robbe”), which included her old Communist Party membership card and cancelled checks to events sponsored by the party, and said that the FBI would clear him if he signed a statement betraying Robbe as a Communist. Garfield instead responded with an angry expletive and walked out of the meeting.[11] Writer and director Abraham Polonsky, who worked with him on two films, stated that Garfield ‘defended his street boy’s honor and they killed him for it.‘”

[Hmmm… murdered for his alleged politics. Where have we heard that before?]

Oh, and here’s a photo of me and my older brother with my Grandma, my above-mentioned favorite person on Earth, on the shores of Lake Erie, in Cleveland, in 1966.

And just for your information — she was raped to death (her heart exploded) in her hospital bed, after open-heart surgery, at age 89. In Cleveland. My favorite person on Earth.

The shit never stops, does it, gang?

***********

Onward.

Okay.

From last night’s sold out show in Luxembourg!

The alleged set list, but it seems that sometimes they veer from the official list. Still, the fantastic enocre (sometimes known as “an encore”) continues:

And Nick (and Colin) apparently took in some art yesterday. Here’s Nick:

And also —

Nick with a happy fan yesterday:

No, I’m not going to say a single solitary THING about how short his hair is here… I’m only going to say that whoever is in charge of ensuring his hair is never above his shoulders, needs to be re-assigned to a different task, pronto.

Okay! And from the actual show!!

And tonight, is the FINAL show of the tour!!

I suddenly got extremely tired…

***********

And here’s this again, just because, gang, you have no idea how much this is helping me move forward around here! It’s taped to my wall now, by my desk, and I read it constantly. And I work on the novel.

*********
And that’s it for now.

I love you guys. Let’s just hang in there.

And enjoy our Thursday, wherever we are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

See ya.

**********

Again, from the playlist of 5 years ago!!

Kind of suits today, doesn’t it?

Don Henley, “The End of the Innocence”. 1989. From the album of the same name. Play it quietly. Look up at the sky. Remember everything you’ve ever known in your life. And then enjoy, gang.

“The End Of The Innocence”

Remember when the days were long
And rolled beneath a deep blue sky
Didn’t have a care in the world
With mommy and daddy standin’ by
But “happily ever after” fails
And we’ve been poisoned by these fairy tales
The lawyers dwell on small details
Since daddy had to fly

But I know a place where we can go
That’s still untouched by men
We’ll sit and watch the clouds roll by
And the tall grass waves in the wind
You can lay your head back on the ground
And let your hair fall all around me
Offer up your best defense
But this is the end
This is the end of the innocence

O’ beautiful, for spacious skies
But now those skies are threatening
They’re beating plowshares into swords
For this tired old man that we elected king
Armchair warriors often fail
And we’ve been poisoned by these fairy tales
The lawyers clean up all details
Since daddy had to lie

But I know a place where we can go
And wash away this sin
We’ll sit and watch the clouds roll by
And the tall grass waves in the wind
Just lay your head back on the ground
And let your hair spill all around me
Offer up your best defense
But this is the end
This is the end of the innocence

Who knows how long this will last
Now we’ve come so far, so fast
But, somewhere back there in the dust
That same small town in each of us
I need to remember this
So baby give me just one kiss
And let me take a long last look
Before we say goodbye

Just lay your head back on the ground
And let your hair fall all around me
Offer up your best defense
But this is the end
This is the end of the innocence

c – 1989 – Don Henley, Bruce Hornsby

A happy Wednesday from the Hinterlands!

Well, the writing went great yesterday. And one of the great things about when writing goes great — is being able to read it over afterwards and realize it still needs work.

To me, that’s a good thing — knowing when I’ve got something but it could still be tighter.

I’m going to try to get back to it quickly here this morning, because I’ve got back-to-back shifts again today and won’t have time to do any writing when I get back here later tonight.

However, it will be 2 great shifts today!

My favorite 95-year-old Japanese client!!

Followed by enough time to stop for lunch again HERE:

OOPS! Of course, I meant HERE — at the Subway that’s around the corner from where my adorable client Molly used to live:

And BTW, they play the best music there — Classic Country. The real stuff, from the old days!

And then, off to my next favorite client — the retired Chaplain who is back from Florida!!

************

Okay!

Finished watching the documentary “Sad Vacation — The Last Days of Sid and Nancy'” last night. It was sad, but good. Definitely a trip down Memory Lane. Not a particularly happy trip, but it did bring back memories.

While watching it, I suddenly recalled that I was away at college when all that happened to Sid and Nancy. I remember how shocking it was back then (Fall, 1978).

I went to college so briefly (3 months) that it was sort of shocking just to think I have any memories at all from that time away at school. But I do.

I hated college — my parents forced me to go. All I really wanted to do was go to NYC and be a singer-songwriter, but they both were, like: NO. You’re going to college.

I was really smart, and graduated in the top of my class in high school — was one of 2 Valedictorians. Graduated with Honors, etc. But that didn’t mean I wanted to keep doing it. At all. I absolutely hated school.

Anyway. So I was forced to go to college — I went here:

I made every effort to attend classes but the classes were so fucking boring. Honestly, the old TV show from 1969, Room 222, was way more interesting than college was!! Honestly. It really was. And it was a show about high school. (What a great show.)

So I eventually said: Fuck this. And quit going to classes and mostly stayed around my dorm room and watched reruns of M*A*S*H

…and just generally got drunk with my roommates in the evenings (they were all studying to be Engineers). (Oh, and the ubiquitous sex and sex and sex and sex….) (with both guys and gals) (It was the 1970s, after all…)

Until it was time to go home for Christmas and I informed my family that I had dropped out.

They were super excited to hear that!

“We’re just so proud of you!!”

HOWEVER– after a quick move out to California (hated it there, too), and then back to Ohio to work in a factory (hated it there, too) — I eventually wound up in NYC — YAY!!. Became a singer-songwriter– YAY!!

AND– got a degree in Audio Engineering there in 1981, as luck would have it. Top of my class.

*********

Okay!!

I did start watching “Room 37: The Mysterious Death of Johnny Thunders” last night. It is intense. I can tell it’s going to be creepy, but that’s all I can discern, so far.

***********

And now I gotta scoot, so here’s this!!

TONIGHT!!

In Luxembourg!! The first of 2 sold out shows and then Nick Cave’s Solo Tour of Europe with Colin Greenwood on bass comes to a close!!

So, wake up and get moving, gang!! It’s almost showtime!!

Probably my most favorite photo of Nick Cave and Rowland S. Howard from the old days. Here, they are most likely thinking about how boring college is…

**************

And that’s it. I’m outta here!

Enjoy your Wednesday, wherever you are in the world!!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

*************

I leave you with this!!

Another song from that playlist of songs I was listening to 5 years ago!!! (That playlist is a real mindfuck, gang, but in the best way.)

Bruce Springsteen, “The Price You Pay”, 1980. From his fantastic album, The River. Which, as fate would have it, came out right before I moved to NYC!! Okay. Enjoy, gang.

“The Price You Pay”

You make up your mind, you choose the chance you take
You ride to where the highway ends and the desert breaks
Out on to an open road, you ride until the day
You learn to sleep at night with the price you pay

Now with their hands held high, they reached out for the open skies
And in one last breath, they built the roads they’d ride to their death
Driving on through the night, unable to break away
From the restless pull of the price you pay

Oh, the price you pay, oh, the price you pay
Now you can’t walk away from the price you pay

Now they come so far and they’ve waited so long
Just to end up caught in a dream where everything goes wrong
Where the dark of night holds back the light of the day
And you’ve gotta stand and fight for the price you pay

Oh, the price you pay, oh, the price you pay
Now you can’t walk away from the price you pay

Little girl, down on the strand with that pretty little baby in your hands
Do you remember the story of the promised land?
How he crossed the desert sands and could not enter the chosen land
On the banks of the river, he stayed to face the price you pay

So let the game start, you better run, you little wild heart
You can run through all the nights and all the days
But just across the county line, a stranger passing through put up a sign
That counts the men fallen away to the price you pay
And girl, before the end of the day
I’m gonna tear it down and throw it away

c – 1980 Bruce Springsteen