Happy Palm Sunday if you celebrate it, gang.

And Happy Pesach, if you celebrate Passover, which began yesterday evening.

My adoptive maternal grandmother’s table literally looked like the photo below on Pesach. It was a huge holiday for us. We did it mostly in Hebrew, with some English. It took HOURS for the dinner to be over. I won’t say I didn’t enjoy it, but, as a little girl, it felt like the ceremony/meal would never end.

But the ending of the evening was fun — by then, my grandfather would have hidden the afikoman, and the children at the table had to go find it. (We always did.) And then my grandfather gave us each a silver dollar. Then we said the final prayer and the night was officially over.

As I got a little older, and celebrated the seder with friends whose families were Reformed Jews (we were Conservative), and they did the whole ceremony in English — I could not believe how fast it went! Suddenly the meal is served and then, just as suddenly, it was all over. Frankly, it made me wonder why they even bothered.

For many years, I was the youngest in my family, and so this was my part in the ceremony — reciting the Ma Nishtana, or the 4 Questions:

I can still recite it by heart. It was a big deal to me.

Nowadays, I think of Passover as being Jesus of Nazareth’s final meal before his arrest — not so much the Israelites wandering in the desert for 40 years. But I did inherit all of my grandmother’s fine porcelain china (complete service for 12) and some of her seder pieces and her white linen tablecloth with 12 linen napkins, so it’s all still with me.

Okay! Anyway,

It is a really lovely Sunday morning here in the Hinterlands. And the guy who takes care of my lawn is already here, mowing the grass!

Laundry is underway. And something like 1700 cats have been fed.

Here’s a photo from yesterday — when the kittens officially opened their eyes:

And here’s this from yesterday!

I did indeed take my favorite 94-year-old Japanese client out for sashimi (and sake — for him) and, as usual, our fortune cookies were uncanny!! (Well, at least I hope that mine will prove to be uncanny really, really soon!)

What’s interesting, though, is that this time, he actually agreed to read his fortune and he was startled by it, since, of course, his primary language is Japanese. His is the top, mine the bottom:

And here’s this–

When my favorite 94-year-old Japanese man was working his way through night school at NYU in NYC in the early 1950s, he worked as a TV repairman during the day. TVs were basically brand new back then, and they looked exactly like this!

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I will probably take a walk today, since it is so pretty out, but other than that, I will be here at my desk working on the TV pilot script!

On another note, I’m finding that I’m really struggling to not be sad — with the one-year anniversary of my dad’s death approaching on Thursday.

I had such an intense dream last night — a man was coming into the living room to rape me, and I went running into my dad’s bedroom, shouting, “Help me, Dad, help me!” But my dad was near-dead with cancer and was struggling to even move.

Oddly, though, there were several other younger men in the bedroom and in the house, who did help me. And when I woke up and was thinking about the dream, I figured the other men were probably spirits of some kind. In real life, the times I was raped and otherwise sexually assaulted, my dad didn’t even live in the same town as I did. And at that point in my life, I was literally on my own in everything. I couldn’t go to my mother for any kind of help at all. I couldn’t go to anyone. For many complex reasons, the 1970s were both the most amazing and horrifying years of my life.

But somehow, even though the dream was a little disturbing, it felt like closure for me. It really did. The spiritual part of it.

I’ve posted this photo here before, and it’s a little creepy-looking. My dad is still alive here — my stepsister texted me this photo one morning, about 4 months before he died, to assure me that my dad was sleeping soundly and was, basically “fine.” But the photo really upset me at the time , because to me, my dad looked dead.

Anyway, my dad looked exactly like this the day before he died, when I went to visit him for the last time. And now I’m glad I have the photo, because it is my last photo of my dad and it reminds me of my last time with him.

I held his hand and sang to him that final day — “Release Me”. I won’t go into the story behind that song again, I’ve posted it here before, but it was in honor of my dad and his very difficult life with my mother and his final release from all that.

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And I think that’s it for now!

Gonna finish the laundry and get started on the script.

Have a wonderful Palm Sunday if you celebrate it, gang.

Thanks for visting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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I leave you with this!

As a very young girl in Hebrew school, this was my absolute favorite song!! I used to sing it all the time, actually. Even when I wasn’t in school.

Today, it brings back such wonderful memories for me.

“Hinei Ma Tov” — which comes from the first verse of Psalm 133. Even if you don’t speak Hebrew, listen to this! It’s so wonderful!! (And it includes English translation.)

Okay, enjoy, gang. And rejoice.

Yes! It’s another gloomy day here in the Hinterlands! You know how much I love that. However —

Yesterday, gang, was a really interesting day for me.

First off, Peitor and I continue to get some really keen interest in our TV Pilot and series proposal, stemming from Series Mania in France a couple weeks back.

We still have a lot of work to do on revising the script — we’ve mapped it all out, we just need to actually format it into scenes and put it in the script. But we are both seriously energized about the interest we’re getting.

I have FOUR (!!) days off from caregiving this coming week. One day will be set aside to drive down and visit my dad’s grave. Half a day will be set aside for practicing at the shooting range (apparently spending spiritual time with my other dad — my birth father — whose heavenly birthday is tomorrow, btw. He would have been 80 !!! I cannot process this. He is eternally about 43 in my mind.)

Anyway, the rest of the time off will be spent on the script. (Oh, and looking after newborn kittens!!)

(Oh, and guess who kept walking back & forth past my kitchen porch yesterday, checking out the little straw-filled cat houses? The little girls from next door!!!! I know they are trying to find the kittens!!!!! (Who are here inside with me now.) Here’s hoping, though, that their mom will let them adopt at least one!!)

Okay, anyway. I digress.

So the reason yesterday was so interesting for me — I had a conversation with the woman who cleans house for the clients I was with yesterday. We talked about a lot of things — mostly Medicare, insurance in general, her grown kids & their lives, the scary health situations with most of my clients.

And I came away from that realizing that I have a really incredible life.

Even on my limited income these days, I still own my own home with a very low mortgage, I lease a brand new Honda that NEVER breaks down, I am really seriously healthy, my debts are manageable now, I live in a village that is peaceful, quiet, safe, with about zippo crime. I have had a wonderful career (and it isn’t over yet), and I somehow managed to get the most amazing insurance guy who has made the whole Medicare thing a truly affordable breeze for me.

I’m usually so focused on making sure the bills are paid, feeding 729 cats, getting to all my various clients on time, not feeling emotionally drained by the time I get home, etc., that I haven’t stepped back and gotten a broad view of my life, in general, for quite a while — and now, compared to the average person in the next county.

Wow.

But on that happy note — I gotta scoot. Another day awaits with my favorite 94-year-old Japanese client!! And who knows what sorts of jaw-dropping coincidences will be revealed today?! We shall soon find out.

Okay!!

Enjoy your Friday, wherever you are in the world, gang.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!!

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Here’s this!! The countdown to Good Friday and Easter continues!!

James Tabor – Last Days of Jesus Pt 2–What Got Him Killed? (8 mins):

I slept in this morning because yesterday wound up being a really, really, REALLY draining day.

I am hoping that today will be completely different.

But this is just a quick post, because I gotta leave here soon. And if all things seem good with him when I get to his house, my favorite 94-year-old Japanese client and I will be going here:

Sashimi — and sake (for him).

It’s been raining a lot here so we probably won’t stop at the nature preserve, but I guess we’ll see. He really loves doing that.

Tomorrow should be a really nice day for me — my Q-following girlfriend from town and I are meeting for lunch after my shift. Going to our favorite place — Tequilaville!!

I really, really need a break. I need to have some fun and laugh and relax with someone who knows me well and who is not a client. Even though I really love my clients.

Hopefully, I’ll have enough energy when I get home later today to do some more work on the pilot script. We still have a few more revisions we want to do. But I’m still really happy with the direction the changes are going in.

Which reminds me —

I love this show!! It is so much fun. Valerie in Brooklyn turned me on to it last week. “Ludwig,” a BBC murder mystery series starring David Mitchell. There are 3 episodes so far on BritBox.

Okay, that’s it. I gotta scoot!

Enjoy your Friday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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An old favorite…

Yes, I wish it would quit raining, but, as we are constantly reminded when we say that: “April showers bring May flowers!” So I’m trying to be okay with it.

At least the weather is warm — no jackets necessary, for now. AND — my dogwood is blooming!

It’s an ancient dogwood tree, outside my kitchen window, but two seasons ago, it suddenly sprang an entirely new tree from it’s trunk and that one is blooming like crazy right now. (The older part of the tree takes a little longer, but it’s full of buds.)

Anyway. When I saw the dogwood blooming when I came home yesterday, it made me really happy.

I had a rough day yesterday with my favorite 94-year-old Japanese client. I’m not sure what caused the setback, but when I arrived, he was already dressed and sitting in his wheelchair in the kitchen — right in front of the kitchen door. Totally silent. He scared the heck out of me when I let myself in because he is usually still asleep in bed.

The hard part for me was that he didn’t recognize me. He didn’t know who I was. I could see he was really struggling with it, so I just tried to act normal, do what I always do, say what I always say, and as the day went on he mostly got his bearings — I’d say 99%.

That depresses me when it happens, but it had been a really long time since it last happened, so it was hard. But I had to hide all of those feelings in order to not alarm him — which makes it even harder on me.

And today, I have a different client. She is in really bad shape. She is very emotionally attached to me when I’m there, so that is exhausting, too — and, again, I can’t show it.

Anyway. I’m working hard to stay aligned with myself.

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If you signed up for those White House text messages, then I’m sure you got the link to Trump’s speech yesterday — explaining Liberation Day.

Not just tariffs but the colossal amount of money that various countries and companies have committed to giving to the US.

From George News yesterday afternoon — (includes news footage):

“HAPPY LIBERATION DAY, AMERICA! 🇺🇸💰

President Donald J. Trump has secured nearly $5,000,000,000,000 in investment and trade commitments from across the globe.”

If you missed his speech, you can see it in easy segments HERE.

My understanding is that within 6 months, we should start to see some remarkable affects to our overall economy because of this.

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There’s also this from Trump — which should help us all enormously:

“Speaker of the House Mike Johnson and Senate Majority Leader John Thune have been working tirelessly on taking the next step to pass the plan for our ONE, BIG, BEAUTIFUL BILL, as it is known, as well as getting us closer to the Debt Extension necessary to continue our great work. The Senate Budget plan gives us the tools that we need to get our shared priorities done, including certain PERMANENT Tax Cuts, Spending Cuts, Energy, Historic Investments in Defense, Border, and much more. We are going to cut Spending, and right-size the Budget back to where it should be. The Senate Plan has my Complete and Total Support. Likewise, the House is working along the same lines. Every Republican, House and Senate, must UNIFY. We need to pass it IMMEDIATELY!”

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Okay, with that, I guess I gotta scoot.

Enjoy your Thursday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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The other day, I picked up a used Best of Neil Diamond CD at the Dollar Store. So that’s what I’ve been playing in the mornings.

What I find interesting is that most of these hits, I remember primarily from his live album, Hot August Night (1972), which both my mom and I listened to constantly back then. (My adoptive mother was a huge Neil Diamond fan.)

So listening to the original versions of these hit songs, the way they first sounded on AM radio, and not listening to them “live”, is sort of jarring. But in a good way. It makes the songs sound more immediate and intimate, and in some cases, heartbreaking.

As I’ve been re-listening to the song “Shilo”, it sort of stops me short now, because I see the parallels now between the lyrics and how my own life was back then — although from a girl’s point of view, and my “Shilo” was my imaginary birth father in my head.

If you’re new to the blog — I suffered from mental illness for most of my life, stemming from relentless mental, emotional, physical and (later) sexual abuse. I lived about 90% of my waking hours in an imaginary world. Especially when I was at home. And I didn’t talk very much. If I wasn’t alone in my room, I usually sat quietly and stared.

Anyway. All of this comes back to me while listening to this song. But it’s a beautiful song.

“Shilo” by Neil Diamond. Here is the Hot August Night version (1972) — the one I knew best. Enjoy, gang.

“Shilo”

Young child with dreams
Dream every dream on your own
When children play
Seems like you end up alone
Papa says he’d love to be with you
If he had the time
So you turn to the only friend you can find
There in your mind

Shilo, when I was young
I used to call your name
When no one else would come
Shilo, you always came and we’d play

Young girl with fire
Something said she understood
I wanted to fly
She made me feel like I could

Held my hand out, I let her take me
Blind as a child
All I saw was the way
That she made me smile
She made me smile

Shilo, when I was young
I used to call your name
When no one else would come
Shilo, you always came and you’d stay

Had a dream and it filled me with wonder
She had other plans
“Got to go” and I know that you’ll understand
I understand

Shilo, when I was young
I used to call your name
When no one else would come
Shilo, you always came

Come today
Shilo
Shilo

c- 1968 Neil Diamond

Okay, it’s officially April 2nd.

Allegedly, today is “Liberation Day,” but I have no idea what that will end up meaning.

I’ve heard it could involve something with the new tariffs. I’ve heard it will be the final closure of the IRS — the IRS building in DC has been closed down for years, and officially became part of the US Treasury. But people speculate that now it will be gone for good. I don’t know.

I also saw this from Laura Aboli this morning:

“So April 2nd is Liberation Day…🤔

The Coinage Act of 1792 was passed by Congress on April 2, 1792 establishing the United States Mint and set up the country’s first standardized monetary system.

-It created the dollar as the official unit of currency (NOT the Federal Reserve Note)

• It established a gold-to-silver ratio of 15:1 (NOT the ~90:1 ratio we see today)
  -It required an “impression emblematic of liberty,” the word “Liberty,” and the year.
  -It set harsh penalties for Mint employees who debased coins —up to death, reflecting how seriously they took currency integrity. (Our currency has been debased ~97% since the Fed was created in 1913)

Anyone think it’s a coincidence that Trump picked that date?”

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Meanwhile, I guess we just have to wait and see.

Speaking of the IRS, I actually enjoyed getting my taxes done yesterday. I had it done for free by the AAPR over at the Senior Center. (Which I found out yesterday used to be an Amish restaurant — it was so beautiful inside. So much gorgeous wood everywhere.)

The woman who did my taxes was about my age and she was so cool. I could easily be friends with her. I loved her sense of humor, as well as her hints that she was likely a Truther in her off-hours.

I owe money to the Fed, as usual. Not nearly so much this year as in years gone by ($90). But I’m getting money back from the State and can just turn it over to the Feds as soon as it arrives.

And on we go.

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Sad news this morning.

Val Kilmer passed away from pneumonia, after having lived for many years with throat cancer.

I loved Val Kilmer! I thought he was an incredibly fun actor. If you never saw the movie “Tombstone“, what are you waiting for???? He was so great playing Doc Holliday in that movie! Just a stunning performance. Funny, powerful, subtle.

During the summer of lockdowns, he created a limited edition coffee mug, with one of his (many) famous lines from that film: “I have not yet begun to defile myself”. I bought the cup immediately — in honor of his passing, I’m actually using it right now — and I posted several photos of it to Instagram (summer 2020):

And then Val Kilmer, himself, posted my post! Read to the bottom of two shots:

And then I found this other photo on my phone this morning — it got me sort of wistful because not only was my iPad still usable back then (you can see it to the left of my coffee cup — I used it constantly before it became obsolete), but my glorious maple tree was still outside my window back then. I loved that tree SO MUCH:

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If you never saw “Tombstone” watch these clips:

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Okay.

I gotta scoot and head out to see my favorite 94-year-old Japanese man.

Enjoy your Liberation Day, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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RIP Val Kilmer. You were such a treasure!

Of course, we shall see as it actually unfolds.

But — I have the day off, again. 3rd day in a row.

And the sun might actually come out today! Yay.

And yesterday — some things happened for which I am grateful!!

1.) My furnace went out — just when the temperatures were dropping back down to freezing. Not so “yay”. But the repair guy got here by 3PM. And had it fixed in about 5 minutes. And it only cost me $195 — which includes maintenance for a whole year on 3 appliances (including the furnace).

I had actually been thinking lately about getting a home warranty, since all my appliances are aging, and so this was actually a relief for me. And at a price I can actually afford. (How weird is that, actually??)

2.) Since I never get any money back from my taxes anymore, I always just file at the last minute. But this year, I decided to go back to using AARP’s free tax service for Seniors, rather than just doing it all online, since I am currently paying off some back taxes. (Having a past balance due makes it sort of impossible to do online.)

Yesterday morning, I realized that today, April begins, so I called the Senior Center to schedule with AARP to do my taxes for free — and they had ONE(!!) spot left for the entire season!! And it was for this morning!! And so I got the final slot!!

I found that very cool. So whoever is looking out for me and sending me these subliminal hints — thank you!!

And, just generally, my caregiving schedule is a lot easier this month — some of the hours have changed. So my workdays should be less stressful for a little while.

All in all, I woke up this morning feeling like I could actually handle being alive, and it’s been awhile since I felt that way first thing in the morning. So, yay!!

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I have some work to do on the pilot script this afternoon, but not too difficult. So it really should be a nice day.

And regarding yesterday on the shooting range (see yesterday’s posts) — I wanted to say that my birth dad’s energy came through again! He was definitely there — in my head. Sometimes I could mentally “feel” him, lining up the shot. And when I felt that happening, I would suddenly hear Jimmy Cliff singing “Vietnam” in my head!! (My birth dad was a Navy SEAL and served in Vietnam throughout that entire war. ) Wow, gang. It was such an amazing feeling.

I cannot tell you the last time I heard Jimmy Cliff’s record, “Vietnam”. Probably back in the early 80s. So it’s not like it’s a song I have thought about at all.

I didn’t tell my instructor that this was happening in my head. No reason to have them think I’m completely nuts over there. However, whenever that would happen in my head — with the song, etc. — the bullseye would be unbelievably on target. To the point where the instructor would actually say, “that one was incredible”.

So. Wow.

All righty.

I guess I better get moving here and head over to the Senior Center. (Oddly enough, it’s about 3 feet from the shooting range.)

Have a terrific Tuesday, wherever you are in the world!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!