Jeepers McCreepers, gang. The kittens just won’t quit this morning.
Can you say:
“Jesus fucking Christ, do NOT tell me you just knocked over my ENTIRE cup of Coffeeee!!!!”
“Jesus fucking Christ, will you STOP chewing on my phone charging cord??!!” (times 4)
“Jesus fucking Christ, who the fuck just THREW UP??!!”
That’s a little bit of what it’s been like around here this morning — in my room. The rest of the housecats are as quiet as little mice.
I had so much extra time this morning and I was planning on really just relaxing in bed with my cup of coffee before heading out for my shift.
But I had to switch over to Plan B and I have no real clue what Plan B is…
**********
Anyway.
Yesterday turned out to be reasonably okay, regarding having to work a double on the 4th of July.
My 94-year-old Japanese man and I will go get sushi/sashimi today, because Peony Bistro was indeed closed for the holiday yesterday. But we had a nice time just hanging out in his air- conditioned living room, chatting about Hong Kong, Tokyo, NYC — and all his many memories from the past.
And, as always, my shift with the woman who has returned from Florida flew by in a nano second. I left there just as fireworks were getting ready to start all over the place. (And I even got to see some fireworks as I was pulling up into Crazeysburg — one of my neighbors was putting on a really impressive show in his backyard.)
So, I’m just trying to face forward, you know? And hope that things come together soon and I can stop having to work on holidays, and I can start just sitting at my desk again and writing everyday.
***************
Nick Cave sent out a Red Hand File yesterday about his songwriting process. It was very interesting — and very different from any songwriting process I ever experienced. He said, in part:
“The hard part for me, the most agonising and uncertain part, the part that keeps me up at night and makes me a complete pain in the arse through the day, is in the initial creation. That is, the unpredictable arrival of those first two lines….”
Tonight and tomorrow night in Paris!! TWO sold out shows, neither of which can you attend if you don’t already have your precious ticket!! Alas…
****************
Okay. I don’t have much to post about today. I’m not only focused on trying to get my suitcase packed as minimally as possible, I am also a little out of sorts mentally, since my prized morning Cup o’ Joe ended up all over my night table AND all over 3 brand new books!!!
But here’s what I’m grateful for– the coffee didn’t spill all over me in the bed, and the coffee mug didn’t break… because I only have about 17 million other coffee mugs to choose from…
I’m going to be out of here early tomorrow morning, in that Uber heading to the airport (an hour from here), but I will probably post something from my hotel tomorrow evening.
Enjoy your Saturday, wherever you are in the world.
Thanks for visiting.
I love you guys. See ya!
*****************
Not me this morning… but it’s something to aim for.
A song I have LOVED since the very first moment I heard it on my AM radio.
It was 61 degrees Fahrenheit when I woke up this morning! I even had to turn the fans off because it was “too cool”… Yay!!
The day should really just be fantastic out here in the Hinterlands. I am really looking forward to it.
I won’t say that I wish I had the day off, but I kinda wish I had the day off. I got so much done yesterday and I would love to just hang out in this beautiful weather and work on the novel.
But, alas… the caregiving work continues.
Still, Sandra and I got the finishing touches done on the play yesterday, so we are ready for NYC next week.
In case you forgot, we’ll be staying here! The Empire Hotel:
Oh, and I watched this, on Sandra’s request. I had to sign up for HBO-Max, which I did, but then promptly cancelled the subscription after watching the film because I have way too many subscriptions going on over here. but anyway– I loved it!!!!
Enigma
I thought this documentary was so well done and really just very informative about the Paris and London TS/TV scene in the late 1950s and early 1960s.
I already knew a little about Amanda Lear because she was connected to David Bowie in the 70s, but I knew nothing about any of the rest of it. Very, very interesting. And very well done.
****************
And just FYI — if you are new to the blog. Yes, I support Trump. Yes, I follow Q. Yes, I was a digital soldier for General Flynn throughout the fake Biden regime and no, I don’t regret a minute of that indescribably time-consuming, and sometimes frightening, work. And yes, I am AGAINST allowing children to make irreversible decisions about their gender identity — it is hard enough for adults to make informed decisions about that.
However —
Yes, I am part of the LGBTQ+ community and have been, since, like, FOREVER. And most of the LGBTQ+ friends I still have (the ones who are still alive, anyway, most of them died from AIDS) are old school, like me, and also tend to be pro-Trump, pro-USA, pro-US Constitution, pro-Protect the Children.
******************
On that note!! Back to our program!!
THANK YOU, once again, to all of you who are already downloading my eBooks over at the Smashwords Summer Sale! Which started yesterday! (Details HERE. Adults Only!! Bisexual/Fetish Erotica.)
It always makes my heart sing just a little bit when I see those downloads getting underway, since these particular eBooks are really, really OLD. They’ve been around forever! I love it that people still read them.
I still remember every story I wrote, every publisher I worked with, every editor and every underground zine — the whole sh-bang, What a great time it was, gang.
***************
Also, a huge thank you to readers in the UK who are downloading the Kindle edition of Neptune and Surf, which was my first book, originally published by the legendary Richard Kasak at Masquerade Books, NYC, in 1999. (The rights are now owned by Hachette UK, as part of their Modern Erotic Classics series.)
Things like this, gang, all these years later, just make me really happy. So thank you, UK readers, whoever you are!
I hate this cover, but I love this book!
***************
Okay! Well.
I’m still a little concerned about leaving all these cats with a cat sitter who won’t actually be staying in my house (in the past, my birth mom would stay here and take care of the cats while I was gone, but now there are too many cats and she has gotten too old). I’m worried about them being alone too much. But other than that, I am finally starting to get excited about going back to NYC.
I think this break in the weather helps, since it makes everything just feel “lighter,” you know? Now that I can think straight again, I want to just have some fun.
And I can’t stress enough what a great feeling it is — for both Sandra and me — to be undertaking this version of “The Guide to Being Fabulous” rather than the version that was ultimately produced in Toronto back in 2023.
It has been a long, long time coming. And after having watched Enigma on MAX, I now feel that, more than ever, Sandra’s story needs to be told in a way that doesn’t short change her entire life.
It’s exciting, gang.
************
Other than that, there’s not much going on!
I should probably close this and get ready to go to town. It’s another afternoon with my favorite 94-year-old Japanese man.
Have a wonder-filled Wednesday, wherever you are in the world.
Thanks for visiting.
I love you guys. See ya!
**************
Okay. Here’s this!
I saw this on Instagram the other day, but I didn’t know it was on YouTube!! So here you go!
The Stones’ New Single | Tribute to Clifton Chenier | June 25, 2025 | The Rolling Stones
All kinds of cool things are on sale over there to help you beat the heat, or whatever it is you’re trying to beat….
Yet again, some of my favorites are on sale!! Including, but not limited to;
The Hotel Girls Notebook — $12.00 (plus tons of shipping to the USA) (Only adults can look at the image below, thank you very much for your cooperation)
The fantastic Happy Tea Set, the whole set, or separate pieces of it! The Happy Tea Pot, $68.00 (plus all sorts of overseas shipping fees!)
Up Jumped the Devil Milk Jug! $40.00 (no shipping Oops! Tons of shipping there, too!)
That milk jug commemorates one of my absolute favorite Nick Cave songs of all time!!!
“Up Jumped the Devil”, Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds, 1988, from the incredible album, Tender Prey.
**************
Here’s this!
Not only because I love this photo so much, but also because my great-great grandmother was a full-blood Blackfoot Indian, and judging by the date listed below, she very well might have known Chief Two Guns White Calf! I think that is so cool.
***********
And speaking of guns…
I am really, really thinking I will have to cancel my monthly membership at the shooting range, gang. I am only getting one day off a week these days, and it is going to continue for the rest of the summer.
I’m going to call over there today and see if maybe I can just temporarily suspend my membership until Fall. We’ll see. I hate to do it, but I have` absolutely no time. And I just keep paying and paying and paying…
************
Okay, well. have I had some intense shifts the last couple of days. In a good way, but still intense.
I saw the retired Minister and his wife on Sunday evening and it was great. He is making such great progress. He was lucid the entire time I was with him, and he talked a lot about his ministry, as well as when he first decided to become a Christian when he was in his teens (he is 80 now).
It was an amazing evening, but as usual it sort of wiped me out emotionally.
Ditto, my shift with my favorite client who is back from Florida. For different reasons, although she is a retired Chaplain, so it was all in the same vein.
I still don’t understand WHY ON EARTH I decided to return to this type of work, but clearly, all of this is on my path right now for a reason.
Oh, and oddly enough!! In my novel-in-progress, The Curse of Our Profound Disorder, that I am working on after a 26-year hiatus… the father in the story is a retired Minister. And the upcoming remainder of the novel is primarily about HIM.
Hmmm…….
**************
On the home front —
I downloaded all the forms I need to fill out in order to apply for that USDA home-improvement loan/grant for low-income seniors living in rural areas.
We’ll see if I can get those filled out before I leave for NYC, but something tells me it would be pushing my luck. I have some stuff I need to do on the play today, and today is my only day off.
But at least I have the forms!!
Home improvement in the Hinterlands!
*************
And I think that’s it for now!
I have to finish doing the laundry then get focused on “The Guide to Being Fabulous”!
Have a terrific Tuesday, wherever you are in the world!
Thanks for visiting.
I love you guys. See ya!
*************
Yes, the Annie Murray kick continues around here!
How can you NOT love this one, gang??? One of her first hits — “Snowbird.”
Anne Murray, “Snowbird”, 1969. From her album, This Way is My Way. Enjoy, gang!!
“Snowbird”
Beneath this snowy mantle cold and clean The unborn grass lies waiting For its coat to turn to green The snowbird sings the song he always sings And speaks to me of flowers That will bloom again in spring
When I was young My heart was young then, too Anything that it would tell me That’s the thing that I would do But now I feel such emptiness within For the thing that I want most in life’s The thing that I can’t win
Spread your tiny wings and fly away And take the snow back with you Where it came from on that day The one I love forever is untrue And if I could you know that I would Fly away with you
The breeze along the river seems to say That he’ll only break my heart again Should I decide to stay So, little snowbird Take me with you when you go To that land of gentle breezes Where the peaceful waters flow
Spread your tiny wings and fly away And take the snow back with you Where it came from on that day The one I love forever is untrue And if I could you know that I would Fly away with you
Yeah, if I could you know that I would Fl-y-y-y-y away with you
I once again have this thing called a BRAIN. I can BREATHE. I can actually walk across the room without feeling like I’m going to faint!!
Yay!!
And it occurred to me, gang, this home improvement loan that I’m at least going to apply for — I guess I will add getting Central AC in with the things that should get done around here.
I really never wanted AC in this specific house because of all the great windows and the usually great cross-breezes. But when I first moved in, I did get all the duct work done so that Central AC can be easily installed. And after what I just went through this past week — at least having the option to turn on AC would probably be a really smart thing to do.
Me, being smart!!
Me, the rest of the time!!
**************
Yesterday was a really good day. Not only was it FILLED with rain and thunderstorms out here in the Hinterlands, I also had a really wonderful time with my favorite 94-year-old Japanese man.
We talked a lot about his past, his incredible father, his life in Hong Kong, in Tokyo, and the years he attended a small college in Kansas for his Ministerial Degree — we talk about this stuff all the time, because his long-term memory is fantastic. However, this time, through a sort of heroic mental effort, he said to me as I was getting ready to leave: “Without you, Marilyn, I would have no reason to remember what a wonderful life I’ve had. I appreciate you so much.”
It is kind of astounding that he was able to express himself in that specific way, since his short term memory is extremely faulty, to say the least, and using his brain in the “present” is very difficult for him. To be able to help someone give the gift of his whole life back to himself, is, well — I don’t know. It overwhelms me, but in a good way.
And this evening, I’m back with the former Minister and his wife, and I’m really looking froward to that. I had such an interesting time with them last week.
And, luckily, ALL my clients have Central AC, so I at least have a brain when I’m working…
************
Okay, so I am officially getting myself into “going to NYC” mode around here. Even though I have 7 shifts between today and next Sunday, when I leave for the airport, I’m trying to focus more on that feeling of freedom I get when I am in NYC.
Add to that, the feeling that Sandra and I are finally going to get the version of “The Guide to Being Fabulous” that we had always envisioned — I would really much rather dwell on that than on all the shifts I have to work this week!!
*******************
This was really, really worth listening to, gang. If you have 22 minutes, check it out. FYI — Warren G. Harding was another President from Ohio who was allegedly and/or officially murdered. [Direct link gives you more control over the ads!]
I saw this great photo last night. It’s from the show they did in Rochefort, France on Wednesday — Nick Cave and Colin Greenwood:
*************
And I think that’s it for right now! I want to actually try to do some yoga today, before heading out for my shift.
Tomorrow morning I have to leave the house around 6:30AM, so I won’t be posting to the blog.
Enjoy what’s left of your weekend, wherever you are in the world!!
Thanks for visiting!!
I love you guys. See ya!!
*************
Okay. Bear with me!! I’m on an Annie Murray kick around here!!!
I love this song, gang. I’ve posted it here before, but I really just love it. It’s been filling my kitchen the last couple of mornings. And, truthfully, I would love to be able to sing a song like this for somebody, someday. We shall see… I’m not dead yet!
Anne Murray, “You Needed Me”, 1978, from her album Restoring The Past. Enjoy, gang.
“You Needed Me”
I cried a tear, you wiped it dry I was confused, you cleared my mind I sold my soul, you bought it back for me And held me up and gave me dignity Somehow you needed me
You gave me strength to stand alone again To face the world out on my own again You put me high upon a pedestal So high that I could almost see eternity You needed me, you needed me
And I can’t believe it’s you I can’t believe it’s true I needed you and you were there And I’ll never leave, why should I leave, I’d be a fool ‘Cause I finally found someone who really cares
You held my hand when it was cold When I was lost, you took me home You gave me hope when I was at the end And turned my lies back into truth again You even called me friend
You gave me strength to stand alone again To face the world out on my own again You put me high upon a pedestal So high that I could almost see eternity You needed me, you needed me You needed me, you needed me
Yes, all those thunderstorms we were supposed to have yesterday, and the “cooler” temperatures and less humidity….(that I predicted were not really going to come!)
We got maybe a handful of rain, around 8PM. And of course the temperatures soared back into the mid-90s Fahrenheit. Bright sunshine EVERYWHERE. Another ungodly hot & humid day yesterday.
Somehow, I managed to get all the groceries and cat food, etc. (a total of 5 stores) yesterday after my shift. I got everything that needs to be here while I’m in NYC.
And I got everything put away, all the litter boxes cleaned, various cats got fed, I watered all the flowers outside (roses are BLOOMING!!), in time to call Sandra right at 5PM…
But my brain was fried. It was so fucking HOT.
Sandra: “Really? You’re having a heatwave there? It’s been really nice around here. Mid-70s every day.”
Just hearing that made me want to faint…
Anyway.
I don’t know how everything gets done here, because I am almost brain-dead. And even the house is clean. Like, I mean, the whole house. I look around and I barely remember doing that. On top of the heatwave, my shifts increased like crazy the past couple weeks. So I feel like I’m never even home. But apparently I am, and I am still on top of everything. (That thought is exhausting, right there.)
But guess what happened last night??!! I was already in bed, drifting to sleep in the oppressive heat when it started:
YES!
Last night was the 4th of July fireworks over at the ballpark. I missed the whole thing. I was under the impression the fireworks were going to be on Monday, June 30th, and I was really excited because I’ll have the whole evening off as well as the following day, but, alas, that was the “rain date” in case they got rained out last night (LOL).
That really disappointed me, gang. And I was too wiped out to even think of getting out of bed, getting dressed, and going out to the yard to watch them.
BTW — in all the smaller towns and villages around here, they don’t do the fireworks on the actual 4th because they can’t compete with the HUGE “Red White & BOOM!” celebration that goes on in downtown Columbus, over the river, on the actual 4th of July.
Anyway. It’s over. And I missed them.
My life feels so weird these days that it actually feels creepy. Like it isn’t even my real life.
***********
I hate to maybe jinx it, but today is SUPPOSED to be a nice day. Much lower temperatures, less humidity. So far, it is a really really perfect summer day but the day is young….
We’ll see.
*************
So I have only ONE DAY off before I have to leave for NYC next Sunday.
I do have some minor edits that I need to do on the play before I leave town. But other than that, I’m ready to go. Money, credit cards, new clothes, stocked up on all my supplements, the Ubers are reserved, the cat-sitter is triple checked!
It’s really interesting to see how my brain actually does work even when it feels “dead” from all the heat. (The heat wave is supposed to be over as of tonight.)
So now, all I really need to do is breathe and let myself get excited about the PLAY!
You know, as far as my career goes, I have zero complaints. I have done everything I ever wanted to do as a writer, and then some. And especially after I quit the music “business” and got into publishing in NYC, I had a really wonderful career — as a writer, editor, publisher, teacher. I really have no complaints.
Even considering how the traditional publishing world that I worked in completely disappeared after self-publishing and eBooks took over, I don’t at all lose sight of the fact that I had a really, really great career in traditional small-press publishing while it existed.
And I really love that I was a big part of that world while it existed. And I met and worked with such amazing people, from all over the world.
I have wonderful memories and no complaints.
That said, though — WOW! The fact that our play is finally heading to Off-Broadway, even while it was never an actual goal of mine when I first moved to NYC, it just blows me away, gang. I honestly can’t believe it. I love theater so much. And I just really, really want to have some FUN now. I can’t believe that pre-production stuff gets underway in just about a week. Wow.
So I have to remind myself to take some time to breathe and be happy.
I might actually do that today!!
**************
Okay, I think that’s it! I better scoot and get ready to head to town for my shift.
I hope you have a fun Saturday, wherever you are in the world.
Thanks for visiting.
I love you guys. See ya!
**************
Here’s a blast from the past!
Another one of those songs that I totally forgot about but which I used to love!!
Carly Simon, “That’s the Way I’ve Always Heard it Should Be”, 1971 (!! — okay, so why was I listening to & loving depressing songs like this when I was 11??). And at age 65 now, I have 2 marriages done and long gone. Too late now to “change my tune”!! All right. Enjoy, gang!
“That’s The Way I Always Heard It Should Be“
My father sits at night with no lights on His cigarette glows in the dark The living room is still I walk by, no remark I tiptoe past the master bedroom where My mother reads her magazines I hear her call sweet dreams But I forgot how to dream
But you say it’s time we moved in together And raised a family of our own, you and me Well, that’s the way I’ve always heard it should be You want to marry me, we’ll marry
My friends from college they’re all married now They have their houses and their lawns They have their silent noons Tearful nights, angry dawns Their children hate them for the things they’re not They hate themselves for what they are And yet they drink, they laugh Close the wound, hide the scar
But you say it’s time we moved in together And raised a family of our own, you and me Well, that’s the way I’ve always heard it should be You want to marry me, we’ll marry
You say we can keep our love alive Babe, all I know is what I see The couples cling and claw And drown in love’s debris You say we’ll soar like two birds through the clouds But soon you’ll cage me on your shelf I’ll never learn to be just me first By myself
Well O.K., it’s time we moved in together And raised a family of our own, you and me Well, that’s the way I’ve always heard it should be, You want to marry me, we’ll marry We’ll marry
It’s not quite as hot around here since I last posted, but the increase in humidity more than compensates for that.
Luckily, thunderstorms are supposed to visit us for most of the day. I hope this is true, because they keep saying that — for the last few days — and the thunderstorms haven’t happened. Even though they are clearly visible, approaching on the horizon, they never arrive. Just some light rain. Hence the increased humidity.
I try very, very hard to think straight in high humidity but I am not always entirely successful, gang. I simply can’t breathe right, so there’s not enough oxygen getting to my wee bonny brain!
(And I still can’t help but think that all these White Hats who are pretending that China is our enemy, that Russia is our enemy, that Iran is anyone’s enemy at this point, that Netanyahu wasn’t already dealt with a long time ago…. okay. Methinks these same folks are once again fucking with the weather!)
(Call me crazy!! Whether or not it’s conspiracy-theory related, there is a good chance that I’m crazy about all sorts of things so it’s safe to call me crazy, however… there is still something wacky about this weather!)
Me, just generally crazy.
******************
Yesterday was insane.
I was with my favorite client who has recently returned from Florida. All was well until — for privacy reasons I can’t go into the details — I had to drop everything and take her to urgent care.
From there, the entire day went kaflooey! (For some odd reason, I’m being told “kaflooey” is not a word!!) I wish I could tell you why it went kaflooey, just so you could have deep sympathy for me! But I can’t. It is sufficient to say, the urgent care “experience” made me feel like I was losing my mind.
And it had nothing to do with anyone who worked at the urgent care facility…
But it also made me have to work late — by half an hour. And I had that plumber coming!!
But long story short — I got home in time for the plumber. And it was a husband & wife plumbing team. They were really nice. And they fixed my issue in the upstairs ancient bathtub, but they told me that really all those old pipes and fixtures have to be replaced. And that I really, really need to get a water softener put in, because that’s what’s killing the pipes and fixtures. (My house is 126 years old and the upstairs bathtub was installed in the 1940s.)
Anyway! Loyal readers of this lofty blog know that I have no problem whatsoever applying for low income home improvement grants for senior citizens living in rural areas!!!
In fact, I got my home a beautiful new roof that way!! At no cost to me.
So, here’s hoping, a grant from the USDA to update my plumbing will be in my foreseeable future.
Meanwhile, the tub drain is working great for the first time since I bought this house… for now, anyway.
Very happy, for now, anyway!
*******************
Apparently, yesterday was Colin Greenwood’s birthday!!
Colin Greenwood Happy Birthday!
And speaking of the Nick Cave solo tour with Colin Greenwood on bass…
Here’s a photo from the show in Rochefort, France. the other night. Most of the better images were videos. Not many photos that weren’t from hopelessly far away:
And I have to say, that people keep uploading images and videos from the Hamburg shows and it really seems like those shows were kind of spectacular.
Next shows up are in Paris, July 5th & 6th, but both shows are sold out. Only 2 shows left in the entire tour that have tickets available. Buy tickets here.
*************
Well, on the kitten front…
Bobby Joe (one of 2 kittens that we recently noticed are actually males), managed to give himself a terrific black eye, from all his jumping and leaping and going generally nuts when he’s playing with the other kittens.
A couple days ago, in the really dreadful high heat, his eye began to look horrible. It rolled up in his head and other awful looking – gooey things. So I started lightly swabbing the eyelid with colloidal silver and, voila, it is getting back to normal at a wicked pace! It is almost completely fine already.
This makes 3 cats in less than a year who have had serious eye issues that were — thank God — completely fixed with colloidal silver, gang. (It works on humans, too, of course! Ears, eyes, sinuses, or taken internally. But only twice a day, no more than 10 days in a row.) (I’m not a doctor. I’m not giving you health advice. just sayin’ what works over in our neck of the woods…)
*************
Today, I’m back with my favorite 94-year-old Japanese man, and I believe it is sushi-sashimi day!! Assuming he feels up to it! It will be nice to just hang out with him — assuming no medical emergencies. We shall see!! (I can’t stress enough how much fun we have whenever we are together, gang.)
*************
Okay. I guess I better scoot.
Enjoy your Friday wherever you are in the world.
Thanks for visiting.
I love you guys. See ya!!
*************
I rediscovered this song the other day!! I’d forgotten all about it.
Holy shit, do I love it. It is not only prime Rodney Crowell songwriting, but also Emmylou Harris at the peak of her career.
I definitely used to include this in my sets when I was a singer-songwriter in NYC.
“Leaving Louisiana in the Broad Daylight”, 1978. From the album, Quarter Moon in a Ten-Cent Town. Enjoy, gang!!!
“Leaving Louisiana in the Broad Daylight”
Mary took to running with a travelin’ man Left her momma crying with her head in her hands Such a sad case, so broken hearted She say mom, I got to go, I gotta get outta here I gotta get out of town; I’m tired of hanging around I gotta roll on between the ditches
It’s just an ordinary story ’bout the way things go Round and around nobody knows, but the highway Goes on forever, that ‘ol highway rolls on forever Lord she never would’ve done it if she hadn’t got drunk
If she hadn’t started running with a travelin man If she hadn’t started taking those crazy chances She say daughter, let me tell you ’bout the travelin kind Everywhere he’s goin’ such a very short time He’ll be long gone before you know it, he’ll be long
Gone before you know it She say never have I known it when it felt so good Never have I knew it when I knew I could Never have I done it when it looked so right Leaving Louisiana in the broad daylight
This is down in the swampland, anything goes It’s alligator bait and the bars don’t close It’s the real thing down in Louisiana
Did you ever see a Cajun when he really got mad When he really got trouble like a daughter gone bad It gets real hot down in Louisiana
The stranger better move it or he’s gonna get killed He’s gonna have to get it or a shotgun will It ain’t no time for lengthy speeches There ain’t no time for lengthy speeches She say never have I know it when it felt so good
Never have I knew it when I knew I could Never have I done it when it looked so right Leaving Louisiana in the broad daylight It’s just an ordinary story ’bout the way things go Round and around nobody knows, but the highway goes on forever There ain’t no way to stop the water
Glory hallelujah, gang! As if I didn’t need more on my plate!!
“Yes, please, I’ll have some more!”
Something caught my eye this morning that alerted me to these new facts:
Bobbi Jo is, in fact, Bobby Joe.
And Betty Jo needs a new name…. Arrrgggh!
Since my beloved 2-legged Billie Jo is still indeed a female, I guess I have to give her name to Betty and now Betty will be Billy Joe. (Or I could just call them all by the same name. I don’t think they will ever know the difference.)
But there we have it! I’m going to have a summer full of expensive visits to the new veterinarian! And here I’d thought I only had one (neutered) male in the house and could take all the time I wanted…
“Why does it take so long for those 2 little things to show up?”
Oh, and another happy thing!!!
My upstairs bathtub drain is completely backed up. Nothing accents a house full of overwhelming heat and humidity like a tub full of stagnant water!!
Well, I’m planning to remove the water. But I really, really, really don’t want to call a plumber…. I ordered a Zip-It. So we’ll see, although I don’t feel too encouraged. A (hopefully really, really good-looking) plumber is likely in my immediate future, too.
***************
Good news, though! Yay!
After posting that photo I took of the poor heat-stroked kittens (see the end of yesterday’s post), I did finally open the bedroom door yesterday. I propped a box fan in the doorway, and stacked some hard cover books precariously on top of the fan, in the event that any cats wanted to try sailing over the top of the fan, in either direction.
Well, it worked! I only had one cat try to get into my room yesterday afternoon, and the books and fan tumbled noisily to the floor and it scared the bejeezus out of him — and all the other cats & kittens! And so that took care of that. No one else tried it.
Now, the kittens and the Mommy-cat stay in the room, and the other cats stay out. And we all get some air circulating in here, finally!!
Today is supposed to be the final day of the actual heatwave. And I have to say, gang — you know me and my conspiracy theorist friends!! There is something truly strange about this heatwave. 93 degrees Fahrenheit isn’t usually this unbearable.
The summer temperatures here have always gone into the 90s at some point, but it never felt like this. (And, add to that, the White Hat WWIII scenario, pushing people to the “boiling point”… hmmm.)
Anyway. It’s not just me thinking stuff like this.
Valerie in Brooklyn texted yesterday and said, “What the fuck is going on with this weather?? What are they doing to us now?? We always have heat in NYC in the summer, but it’s nothing like this. I can’t even breathe.”
Well, I digress a bit.
Today is the final day of the heatwave, although the weather won’t be really enjoyable until the middle of next week. But just getting these temperatures out of the 90s will be such a relief. (And I’m not talking about music or fashion, because, you know, the 90s were kinda cool — if I can mix metaphors all over the place.)
**************
Okay!
The shooting range sent out an email this morning, a reminder that a new shooting club starts there today. So I won’t be going to the range today, either. All the lanes will be filled up during the time when I usually go.
And it means I won’t be going to town to visit those clients who are in rehab until maybe Thursday.
Which means ANOTHER day to sit and work on the novel!! Yay!!
What a blessing, gang. To suddenly have all this time (unbearably hot as it’s been) to sit and work on the novel. It has been such a long time. And FYI — all the sections and songs we will be working on for the rehearsals of the play (in 2 weeks!!!) are already completed. So I get to just truly focus on the novel. It feels so great.
*******************
Nick Cave sent out a really incredible Red Hand File this morning. At least, it moved me a whole lot. Even though he was referencing what he does spiritually to prepare to go on stage (and then blow people the fuck away!), it resonated with me so much — how it feels to go into my clients’ homes and face life, mortality, love, loss, the quality of being human — and all the people from my own past and from my clients’ pasts who “show up” in spirit and spend time with us while I’m there.
He said, in part:
“…I appeal to these individuals, and many more, much like a devout person might petition the saints for assistance. I remember all these people and I feel a deep spiritual empowerment, so that when I take to the stage, I am carried along by this unearthly fraternity and their special powers. For me, this is an immense strength – an energy that illuminates what is truly meaningful and what is not. Communing with the dead is, in that respect, as clarifying an exercise as anything can be. We are quickly reminded of what matters and what does not. …”
[Below, a photo of an old friend of Nick’s who just passed away.]
David “Dud” Green
***************
All righty!
Laundry got done yesterday. And the light housecleaning got done, too! And the backed-up water can sit in the tub for now (I have another shower downstairs), so this means I’m going to get back to The Curse of Our Profound Disorder.
Have a terrific Tuesday, wherever you are in the world!!
Thanks for visiting.
I love you guys. See ya!
******************
Blast from the 90s past, gang!
“Pass the Dutchie”, 1995, from the album Thump’ N Reggae Jamz by Musical Youth. Stay cool and enjoy, gang!!
I took some of those freezer-pack thingies from the freezer last night, wrapped them in cotton tea towels and brought them up here for the kittens to sleep on top of and they love them.
So that makes me feel a lot better. They were really suffering from the heat in here.
Luckily, I have a ton of those freezer-packs. I get them whenever I buy something perishable from my favorite local health food store !!!
Comfrey Corner of Heath
Also, just to keep the kittens occupied during the heatwave–
I moved a baby grand piano into my room. They love playing on it!! And I get to listen to some really soothing music while I work on the novel…
Anyway.
Yes, it’s fucking HOT. But somehow, I’m dealing with it. I currently have 3 fans in here.
And what’s frustrating is that, the minute you leave this room, the rest of the house is not that bad — 17 open windows, and ceiling fans; the air really circulates. I did my yoga out in the hallway yesterday and it was fine.
I am so tempted to just open the bedroom door and see what Little Blackie would do — would she keep on attacking the other cats, now that the kittens are a lot older? If she does, it’s just too hot right now to deal with the pandemonium that would ensue so I’m afraid to find out.
“Oh no! Not again!!”
*************
Well, yesterday was really something.
I had that new client who is a retired minister. He has cognitive impairment, along with some other intense health issues. But the wife was there the entire time, taking care of him. They were both really nice people.
And of course it broke my heart — the wife’s full-time occupation now is taking care of her husband. They have a beautiful home but since she has no time for anything else, the house is sort of an absolute wreck. (I see that all the time now, too.) And I can’t help but think of what the house was like when they first moved in — when they were younger, celebrated holidays with family, etc. It must have been so beautiful in that house.
And things like that always make me wonder what will happen to my own house as I get older and older; will I stop being able to take care of it?? And then I miss the days when I was younger, whether or not I was married, I always had dinner parties. Always entertained. That part of my life is already over.
So it was another one of those emotionally intense evenings for me, since, as always, God stepped in.
The wife had also studied at a seminary (a very well known one in Ohio), so we had some conversations about Biblical Archeology and other unexpected topics, since all three of us had studied for the ministry in one capacity or another.
Then midway through my shift, she asked if I minded watching the movie, “Fiddler on the Roof.” I was absolutely fine with it! I love that musical — it was a favorite of mine when I was growing up, since it’s a thoroughly Jewish musical.
But I wasn’t prepared for how it would make me feel — the memories it would bring back — watching that movie all these years later. I’ve seen the play many times, but I only saw the film once — with my family, back when it opened in theaters in the fall of 1971 (!!).
A time when my entire extended family was still very, very Jewish. But my parents were already constantly fighting with each other, and I was already getting deep into my own private world. Constantly retreating into it, because my mother’s rage was pretty much off the charts all the time back then.
And yet… all these years later. Just the memory of being in the car with my family, as we drove home from the movie — a movie I had absolutely loved, since I already knew all the songs by heart.
And now, basically everyone in my family is dead. This was over 50 years ago (!!). how does it happen, gang? The flying of time.
I kept these feelings to myself while watching the movie, because I am there strictly for their needs, not to burden them with my own drama.
But when this scene (below) came on — it floored me. I still know this song by heart, and I played it a lot on our record player when I was a little girl but I hadn’t thought of it in years. Not only that, but our family– the entire extended family — always honored the Sabbath by lighting the Shabbat candles back then and saying the Hebrew prayers.
I got really choked up while watching this and I had to of course act like nothing was wrong at all– “Sabbath Prayer”:
And when this song came on — forget about it!! Luckily, it’s just a really moving song, whether or not you’re Jewish, and even the Minister and his wife got a little choked up, too — “Sunrise, Sunset”:
Well, one of the many feelings I was feeling as I left their home last night, was how grateful I was that when my dad died, he had no cognitive impairment at all. He remembered me right up util he went into the coma.
His last words to me on the phone were: “Don’t come today! I’m not feeling very well.”
Later that day, he was in the coma and the hospice nurse was telling me that I’d better get there as soon as possible…
*************
Okay.
Today, I think I will stick around the house, enjoy the oppressive heatwave and work on the novel — and also get some light housecleaning done.
Tomorrow, the Agency would like me to stop in at the rehab and visit those 2 clients of mine who are in there because it looks like they’ll be in there a long time… The shooting range is on the way to the rehab, oddly enough, so I guess tomorrow will be about that.
***************
Oh my god!!
I just turned around and saw this! The poor little things. It is really HOT.
***********
Last night in Hamburg! Several photos this time from the 2nd night of sold out shows. Nick Cave and Colin Greenwood.
The next show is on Wednesday, in Rochefort, France. Tickets are still available for that one. Buy them here.
************
Enjoy your Monday, gang, wherever you are in the world!
Thanks for visting.
I love you guys. See ya!
*************
I leave you with another great one from “Fiddler on the Roof” !!
“Miracle of Miracles”. Enjoy, gang.
“Miracle of Miracles”
Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles- God took up Daniel once again, Stood by his side and- miracle of miracles- Walked him through the lion’s den!
Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles- I was afraid that God would frown, But like he did so long ago, at Jericho, God just made a wall fall down!
When Moses softened Pharaoh’s heart, that was a miracle. When God made the waters of the Red Sea part, that was a miracle too! But of all God’s miracles large and small, The most miraculous one of all Is that out of a worthless lump of clay, God has made a man today.
Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles- God took the tailor by the hand Turned him around and- miracle of miracles- Led him to the promised land!
When David slew Goliath (yes!), that was a miracle. When God gave us manna in the wilderness, that was a miracle too. But of all God’s miracles large and small, The most miraculous one of all Is the one I thought could never be: God has given you to me.
It’s not so much that the heat is off the charts, or anything. It’s that I can’t open my bedroom door, yet, because of the kittens and Mommy-the-Attack-Cat still being in here. So the air just can’t circulate.
The rest of the house is a lot better than my room is – even with all 3 windows open and the turbo fan going full blast in here.
However. I don’t have to be at my new client’s house until 3PM, so I have quite a few hours here to work on the novel. So I’m drinking coffee and trying to keep the brain working. I don’t want to waste the day, melting into a brain-dead heap on the bed.
*************
This was interesting. About the Nazareth inscription — an ancient tablet thought to be an edict by the Emperor Claudius. Even considering it might have absolutely nothing to do with Jesus’ tomb, it is still very interesting.
Ancient Engraving: Jesus’ Resurrection Clue? (12 mins):
***************
This was from the sold out show last night in Hamburg.
The theater looks like a real architectural gem, but performing in it seems like it would be sort of creepy. Since, like, if anyone opened fire on you there would be absolutely nowhere to run…(It’s a complete circle of the audience surrounding the stage.)
Anyway! Nick Cave is that tiny dot at the piano, “dead” center!
Tonight’s show in Hamburg is also sold out. But as of now, there are still tickets available for Wednesday’s show in Rochefort, France. Check here. (Then you’re out of luck until mid-July, in Italy.)
And here’s this, because I am so tired of life right now, but I still love this song…
*************
Well, yesterday was kind of amazing, gang. Both of my favorite clients, back to back — and they couldn’t be more different from each other. But it wiped me out.
I spent 3 hours first thing in the morning with that favorite client who is back from Florida and we had another really great time. We did not stop talking. Time flew by again. And she said, “I love your intellect! You have a mind like a steel trap! When I talk with you, I feel the cobwebs coming off of my own intellect. It feels so good to really TALK with someone again.”
And of course that made me feel really good because I feel the very same thing about her (we talk a lot about Christian theology, etc.).
But she went on to say that she wants me to be scheduled with her regularly, but I have no control over that. She has to be the one to call the Agency and specifically request me (which I think she will, but I wasn’t supposed to tell her that because it’s considered taking shifts away from other caregivers). Anyway, I told her I would speak to my supervisor Monday morning and ask if they can please rearrange my schedule to include her.
Which I am definitely going to do, but when I looked at my schedule this morning — except for next week and the week I’m in NYC, my schedule is BOOKED SOLID through mid-August and except for July 4th, she is NOWHERE on my schedule and I just don’t understand why they did that. But also, my schedule is booked solid with clients who have cognitive impairments. Meaning, no conversations of any real depth for the next 2 months…
Even though I care about all of my clients, it gets to be overwhelming — especially when here is this client that I get along with so great who has no cognitive impairment whatsoever.
Well, I’ll see what I can possibly do tomorrow to change that.
****************
Another thing she said that really hit home for me–
She is also good with guns. Her husband was an expert marksman. His rifle collection is still upstairs, and all his medals and honors and plaques are over the fireplace. He taught her how to use a gun a long time ago, and she was surprisingly good at it, too.
I told her about my sudden impulse to go to the shooting range and learn how to use a handgun back in December — and then discovering that I was actually really good at it
Very matter-of-factly, she said, “That was God. You’d better listen. Keep at it.”
And then that feeling I’d been having lately, that I should give up my membership at the shooting range to save money, completely evaporated. I saw this endeavor of mine in a whole new light.
*********
Other than that — this fatigue from the heat and lack of air; this fatigue from constantly caring for people and for cats and for plants and for everything that can be considered a living thing… And missing all the ones who have already passed on…
Yes, I feel just unbelievably tired and, with that feeling, I get tired of living. Like, life just goes on and on and on, and all those things I used to love about living life everyday — the older I get, the more gone those things are.
And then I spend my days with people who are truly in the final chapters of their lives, who have outlived almost everything they knew, and I don’t even know what to think anymore. I just want everything to stop.
However.
I am really happy about where the novel is going. This feeling that it’s a miracle that, 26 years later, I know how this novel needs to end. And that’s exciting. So that keeps me going.
And even though I’m worried about how things will go with the cat sitter and all these cats everywhere while I’m in NYC (and the need to make sure KonTiki gets enough food outside, too, because the raccoons eat ALL of her food at night.)
Anyway, aside from worrying about that, whenever I think about the trip to NYC, and being in the rehearsal room, finally working on “The Guide to Being Fabulous” the way we intended it to be — and NOT being alone, for a change!!!
We are finally back to some gorgeous weather around here — after a couple of days of rain, thunderstorms, and those ridiculous high winds.
[Picture moi: at 2AM, in my summer nightgown and my raincoat and flip-flops, out in the high winds and driving rain, trying to keep everything on my porches from blowing clear down the road…]
It’s over now!!
However… a heat wave is on it’s way.
Yes. Relentless sun and temps in the mid-90s Fahrenheit for the next several days. But I’ll take it.
**************
Yesterday was a great day, disregarding the weather.
I spent 5 hours (!!) with that wonderful client who is back from Florida now. She and I had such a great afternoon. I just love the conversations that she and I have. She is so passionate, funny, smart, well-traveled — and she’s 88 and has seen so much of life (she was a chaplain until she retired).
Really, the time just flew. I have no idea if the Agency will be putting her on my schedule again or not. I sure hope so, but we shall see.
(They’re starting me with a new client on Sunday evenings — a retired minister. United Church of Christ. Only minor cognitive issues and his wife will be there the whole time, which always makes the job easier. Should be very interesting.)
When I got home yesterday, it was still early afternoon, so not only was I able to do yoga again, for a change, I was also able to work on the novel for a few hours.
It felt incredible — to just be able to get lost in the writing again.
*********
Okay. There is not much to post about today. But here’s this!! Yay!
Tomorrow, the tour resumes in Hamburg, Germany. Tickets are sold out. But there’s a show on Wednesday in Rochefort, France that still has tickets available!!
***********
And I think that is it. I have a phone appointment scheduled with Social Security here in a few minutes. (They’re trying to take all my retirement money away, so you can guess I’m pleased as punch about that!)
After that, I gotta scoot to town and see my favorite 94-year-old Japanese man!!
Enjoy your Friday, wherever you are in the world.
Thanks for visiting.
I love you guys. See ya!
***********
All righty!!!
Yesterday’s driving-back-from-town music!!
I absolutely LOVE this song, gang. Never get tired of it! I have a crystal clear memory of hearing it on the school bus radio in Cleveland, back in 1969. Not that I liked it or didn’t like it when I was 9, but it was such a memorable song….
Anyway!! It’s a great song for driving along those backroads now.
Merle Haggard, “Okie From Muskogee”, 1969. Enjoy, gang!!
“Okie From Muskogee”
We don’t smoke marijuana in Muskogee; We don’t take our trips on LSD We don’t burn our draft cards down on Main Street; We like livin’ right, and bein’ free.
We don’t make a party out of lovin’; We like holdin’ hands and pitchin’ woo; We don’t let our hair grow long and shaggy, Like them hippies out in San Francisco do.
I’m proud to be an Okie from Muskogee, A place where even squares can have a ball. We still wave Old Glory down at the courthouse, And white lightning’s still the biggest thrill of all.
Leather boots are still in style for manly footwear; Beads and Roman sandals won’t be seen. And football’s still the roughest thing on campus, And the kids they still respect the college dean.
And I’m proud to be an Okie from Muskogee, A place where even squares can have a ball. And we still wave Old Glory down at the courthouse, And white lightning’s still the biggest thrill of all.
We still wave Old Glory down at the courthouse, In Muskogee, Oklahoma, USA.
Marilyn's Room 