The weather is very sunny today but still really cold.
Nevertheless, my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man and I decided yesterday to go out for sashimi & sake today. Now that his private nurse is gone, he hasn’t been out for lunch since he and I went to the golf course last Friday.
When I’m around him, it’s easy to get my energy into a good place and keep things upbeat and happy, so I’m looking forward to going out with him today if he feels up to it. But I have to say, gang, that on a deep level, it feels to me like everything has changed.
The feeling of loss is like a blanket over everything in that house now. He knows something is missing but he doesn’t know what. He also knows that something big in his life has changed forever. He doesn’t remember his private nurse’s name, or who she was, or anything like that — he only knows that there was a girl who used to come see him but that she had to go to the hospital.
His daughter is going to tell him everything when she sees him in person, tomorrow.
Since his daughter has been texting me the last couple of days about her upcoming trip, I finally decided to just text her this morning and ask her if she’s planning to put her dad into a nursing home soon. I want to start getting the hanging flower baskets for his back deck, but it’s a lot of money to spend if he won’t be there much longer.
We’ll see what she replies. But I’m thinking that I already know what she’s going to say.
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On a happier front…
It looks like Rasha’s mom and her little baby will be staying here, to take care of Rasha and all the other cats, while I’m in NYC.
This is such a relief to me. I’ve been worried that all these cats now — including Rasha, who is still unwell — will be too much for my birth mom to really handle, even though she’s happy to do it. (My birth mom is 79 now.)
I feel so much better about this arrangement, though. Because the girl knows full well that Rasha is sick, since Rasha is her cat. It’s not going to be any sort of unhappy surprise for her.
And I also talked to a friend of mine yesterday about her and her husband staying here the last weekend of September, when I go to North Carolina for James Tabor’s conference thingie. They had offered to cat-sit before, so she’s thinking they probably will.
And by September, Rasha’s mom should be in her own place and able to take Rasha back. So that is potentially another huge relief.
Now all I want is for my birth mom to just come out here and visit for a few days, just to hang out again. To smoke and drink beer (her, not me).
What I would really like her to do at this point is answer her phone... she’s not a really big phone-answering kinda gal.
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Anyway.
So there’s good stuff going on and sad stuff going on. But meanwhile, here’s this!
If you’re too young to know that Patti Hansen used to be not only a top super model in the late 70s, early 80s, she also had a reputation for being a real party girl!! (To me, she always just seemed like a down-to-earth girl from Staten Island.) It did not surprise me a bit that Keith fell in love with her.
Anyway! Here they are in 1981, and Patti does not seem to be in any way intoxicated!!
And here’s this!
Keith smoking in 1972, maybe overdoing the guitar thing a little bit…
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And here’s this!
Nick Cave!
I’m thinking “just out of the shower” but not 100% sure:
I’m also thinking the reason my really cool Tom Petty zippo lighter has not arrived yet is because they sent it to Nick Cave!! (Not 100% sure on that, either, just thinkin’…)
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And that’s it.
I guess I better get moving here and plan on having a great day, come what may!
Enjoy your Saturday, wherever you are in the world.
Thanks for visiting.
I love you guys. See ya!
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Let’s close with this!
Something else that reminds me of the old New York…with the old skyline and everything.
“The Critic” is also free now on Tubi!! I loved this show. I’d forgotten all about it! (From 1994-95.) Enjoy, gang.
Well, at least for now, the Agency has added NO ADDITIONAL shifts or hours to my schedule. So it’s looking like they have found other caregivers to help out at my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man’s house.
Today will be, well, I don’t know if “interesting” is the right word. But his daughter will be calling him from Seattle while I’m at his house today, to tell him that his private nurse — the nurse who has been a constant presence in his home since about 2018 and taken such great care of him — is dying and will never be coming back.
I don’t know how he will process it. I really don’t. It might go right over his head, at first. But eventually it will register with him. Ultimately, I know he will say that she’s gone to a better place. But how he will actually feel about it — I just don’t know. We’ll soon find out.
Yesterday was rough for me, but today, at least so far, I’m better. One thing about this job — death is part of it. But this one really came out of left field.
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This morning, gang. Wow. Actual royalties in my checking account from Amazon!
And also!! After having been banned for 5 years, and back on sale for less than a week–1954 Powder Blue Pickup is ranked #41 in Historical Erotica!!!!! Thank you so much, gang. This just makes me so happy.
The eBook is still FREE on Amazon Kindle, with or without Kindle Unlimited. But I think that ends today. I’m actually not sure. But the eBook is HERE.
1954 Powder Blue Pickup is absolutely for Adults Only. Thank you!!!
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Tomorrow is my day off. And once again, I am hoping to complete that short story that still only has about 400 more words to go.
I think back on my life, and up until that scam-demic and the lockdowns, I spent so much time every day, getting my writing done. And now, it’s like whacking my way through an emotionally draining jungle of distractions, just trying to get even an hour to write each day, where my brain and heart are focused.
I come up with weird thoughts, like: Am I not getting enough coffee? You know, I cannot figure out how to get back to my old life. I have so much new writing I want to do. Not just to finish the short story that’s been hanging on forever (which is under a deadline now), but I really, really want to get down to writing the memoir about my life in the 1970s.
To the point where I say to myself, Please, God, don’t let me die before I have a chance to write that book!!
Not to mention, an almost-complete erotic memoir, Girl in the Night: Erotic Love Letters to the Muse, and the half-finished erotic novella, Novitiate ’66. And the not even halfway started non-erotic novel, Down to the Meadows of Sleep. And the almost finished non-erotic flash memoir about my childhood years being raised by a narcissist, In the Shadow of Narcissa. And 3 barely started scripts for streamers that have nothing to do with Sandra. And 2 plays.
All this stuff on my desk.
Anyway. On we go. At least it’s finally getting better!
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Okay.
Here’s this!!
Keith.
Wow, did this make me smile. I don’t think I need to explain why:
And not-so-smiling, but boy, do I remember Keith in 1978!! Keith had finally kicked heroin after the horrible drug bust in Toronto, in ’77.
Keith in South Salem, NY, 1978:
And here’s Keith looking really seriously sleepy (?) at the Excelsior Hotel in Rome, in 1984:
Photo by Luiano Viti
Just because he quit heroin finally, didn’t mean he quit doing other stuff. I remember when my best friend Valerie in Brooklyn was working for Mica Ertegun in the early 90s and doing some specialized painting in Keith’s house in Connecticut, she used to tell me that he’d go down to his basement recording studio at, like, 8 in the morning, with a glass of Vodka and Orange Crush…. something like that.
Anyway….
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Here’s this!
A wonderful blast from the past!
Nick Cave and Blixa Bargeld in 1985!
And from the not so distant past at all!
Nick Cave decides to take John & Yoko’s advice and “Give(s) Peace A Chance”!
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Here’s this, while we’re at it —
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And I think that’s it because I gotta get ready to head to town and see what this day with my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man is going to bring.
Have a wonder-filled Wednesday, wherever you are in the world.
Thanks for visiting.
I love you guys. See ya!
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Let’s close with this, while we’re still at it.
From the Oldies FM Radio Station on the retro boombox next to my bed this morning.
From John & Yoko’s final album together, Double Fantasy. Which was released two days after I arrived in NYC (released November 17, 1980), and I remembered looking at the album cover displayed in the window of a record store in Midtown Manhattan and just feeling so happy to see John Lennon looking so happy (and sounding so happy, finally).
My very first hero, gang. I really was so happy for him.
When I was 11, his massive interview in Rolling Stone Magazine introduced me to a new side of Bob Dylan that I’d never seen, to Brian Jones and the Rolling Stones, helped me see Elvis in a whole new way, and tons of other musicians and types of music.
I loved music. By then, at age 11, I played violin, piano, and guitar. (In fact, music was what made me want to go live in NYC in the first place, back when I was only 7 years old.)
Then Lennon was assassinated a couple of weeks later, on December 8, 1980. Jesus. NYC in the 80s was just so intense.
Anyway. When this came on the radio this morning right as I was getting out of bed, my whole adult life went walking across my brain. (And of course, it only made me want to write about it…)
“Watching the Wheels” from Double Fantasy, 1980. Enjoy, gang.
A grey Tuesday morning here in the Hinterlands. It’s supposed to get sunny later. We’ll see.
But my overall mood — I’m really battling an entire brain full of grey rain.
Yesterday afternoon, my wonderful day off came to a screeching halt when I got a phone call from Seattle. It was my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man’s daughter. She has never called me before — she rarely even texts me. She had awful news — and she was just as shocked by the news as I was.
Her dad’s private nurse — who has been with the family for 6 or 7 years now (she was the private nurse for his 2nd wife when she got ill), and who has had “health problems” for the last week or so, is dying.
As in — in hospice already, in a coma, with only a few days left to live.
I had no clue she had cancer. She’s about 20 years younger than me, and always seemed full of energy and life.
So, not only am I stunned that I will never see or speak to her again, but it also sounds like I’m going to be needed to pick up more responsibilities — time-wise — with my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man, and even though he matters so much to me, I am just not prepared to take on anything else. I’ve been aiming all my energy and attention at the writing projects.
We shall see.
I immediately called my supervisor at the Agency yesterday and asked her to please start lining up some additional caregivers for him. But since this is catching us all out of the blue, I might have to pick up some extra hours until the schedules can be arranged. I will find out more later today. But I have been praying, gang, that they find people right away, even though, obviously if they need me, I won’t say no.
The daughter is flying in from Seattle on Sunday, just for 2 days, and she hopes to take her dad to say goodbye to the nurse, if she is still alive by then.
I’m also worried that with the nurse gone now, and since she oversaw his meds, his doctor appointments, his trips to the barber, his lawncare service, etc., there’s even more reasons for the daughter to put him in a nursing home now.
I’m really trying to just sort of ignore everything I’m feeling and just see where everything falls. I think it’s called avoidance, but it’s almost the best I can do right now.
After all these years of watching it sort of float out there in limbo, it really makes me feel so happy to see people have access to it again.
If you missed my post yesterday, I believe the eBook edition is free to download all this week, with or without Kindle Unlimited.
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That’s really kind of it for my brain right now, so here are few “here’s this’s”.
The beautiful Charlie Watts at Villa Nellcote in 1971, during the recording of an album that certainly changed my 12-year-old life forever: Exile On Main St.
And I’m not kidding you when I say that I actually have the very same creamer that’s on the table there. It’s by Johnson Brothers/Wedgewood Group. Back then, the dishes were made in England. (I have the whole set, service for 8.) (I’m a dish-a-holic, if you’re new to the blog. I live alone and yet have more fine china than you can possibly imagine.)
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A very early shot of Keith! 1963:
And then a few years later… he switched out wearing the watch for a pair of handcuffs:
And here’s Keith with Robbie Shakespeare and Sly Dunbar, the greatest reggae rhythm duo that ever lived:
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Oh!
Here’s Cuddles McGee this morning, looking out the bedroom window:
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And some more wonderful old photos of Nick Cave.
A multi-patterned Nick in London, 1989:
I don’t know where or when or photo-by-whom, but I love this:
And this one is by Mike Owen:
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And that’s it for now.
My best friend Valerie in Brooklyn and I had a great phone chat yesterday — before the call from Seattle came in.
We are aiming to start the mini-podcast of “Marilyn’s Room” in mid-May. And we’re hoping to have 2 if not 3 episodes out there before I leave for NYC in mid-June. We might even try to do a mini-podcast from my hotel room in NYC, or someplace where we can be in the same room together while we tape it.
That’s the plan, anyway. (And wow, did she tell me a really fun story from the early 80s that she’d never told me about!!! It involved Debbie Harry!!)
So even though I’ve known Val since 1983, there are still great stories for me to hear, too!
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Okay.
I gotta put on my “I’m happy and here to help you” face and scoot to town to see my clients for today.
Have a terrific Tuesday, wherever you are in the world, gang.
Thanks for visiting. (And for buying my books. It means so much to me.)
I love you guys. See ya!
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Let’s close with this.
The awesome Debbie Harry, onstage with Blondie — 1978!
I’ve been having a really nice morning out here in the Hinterlands, and now my brain is actually putting in an appearance, too!
So it should be a nice day-off.
Yay!
Before I forget — it looks like the eBook edition of 1954 Powder Blue Pickup is totally FREE to download this week, with or without Kindle Unlimited. The link is HERE.
And that said — a continued thank you to all of you who have continued to purchase the book!! I just appreciate it so much.
I was actually glancing through the book last night for the first time in a few years, and I just want to say that I don’t remember writing all that filthy dirty stuff!!!
Actually, I do remember.
I remember every moment of it because the Muse was in high gear throughout the writing of that book. (I originally wrote it for Black Lotus Books, and they designed the cover, which I love. But the company soon closed down when they couldn’t get a distributor.)
Anyway, whenever I’m working on a novel, I always have an unlit, unfiltered cigarette in my mouth — usually a Pall Mall, because they are the closest thing to a Chesterfield that is still in circulation.
I haven’t smoked a lit cigarette in about 16 years. Luckily, I never had a real smoking habit. I was what was called a “social smoker” — I smoked when cocktails or wine were lurking about.
Anyway, I remember NOT smoking an entire pack of unfiltered Pall Malls while writing 1954 Powder Blue Pickup (whenever a cigarette got too soggy, I tossed it out) and I remember the Muse being a sort of palpable presence throughout that book. Which is the very best feeling when you’re trying to write something under a deadline.
All these years later, though — skimming through it last night. Man. Non-stop sexual shenanigans!!
ME (thinking): “Christ! Did I really go there??”
Yes, I really did.
What’s in those Pall Malls?!
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Okay!
Since it’s my day-off, I’ve got a load of laundry going. And at some point, I need to walk over to the dollar store and buy a can of coffee.
I usually buy hoity-toity fairtrade coffee from somewhere in Central America that “is characterized by balanced acidity, distinct tasting notes (chocolate, nutty, fruit), and a clean finish”, etc., etc.
But I ran out this morning. I guess my brain was elsewhere when I did the grocery shopping in town on Friday. And I absolutely need my coffee in the mornings, so I’m not going to get picky. (The dollar store actually has an interesting brand of coffee from Vietnam. It tastes, well, interesting.)
Other than that, despite living in a veritable cat sanctuary these days, I am hoping to have a totally relaxing day. And I really hope it includes finally completing that short story that STILL only needs about 400 more words… we shall see.
Not me! Since this gal appears to be smoking a lit pencil…
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This just in!!
Ronnie Wood has added a show in Barcelona on Saturday, September 12th! Buy tickets HERE!
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And this also just in!
“The Original Series Soundtrack for Jo Nesbo’s Detective Hole by Nick Cave & Warren Ellis is out now on digital and streaming services.”
I have already added it to my library on Amazon Music, but haven’t listened yet.
Even though the series is streaming now on Netflix, when I read stuff like this:
“We loved working on this adaptation – Harry Hole’s murky, morally complex world has been brought to life in all its darkly brutal glory, and it was an honour to work with the legendary Jo Nesbø.“ – Nick Cave
Methinks that I will likely be skipping the series itself. Just gonna listen to the music part.
“In Soviet-occupied Prague, a young female photographer embraces wild nights of rebellion, desire, and resistance to conformity. Through thousands of her raw and candid photographs and personal diaries, I’M NOT EVERYTHING I WANT TO BE traces her twenty-year quest for freedom and self-acceptance.”
I started watching it last night, but since it’s all in subtitles, my eyes kinda wore out, but I’m hoping to finish it tonight.
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And meanwhile–
Here’s this!!
A lovely photo of George Harrison, almost smiling in Los Angeles:
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And a few of Keith!!
Keith, with a guitar, smoking. I don’t know where or when:
Keith, with a guitar, not smoking, I don’t know where or when, but it probably only lasted a minute — the not-smoking part, I mean:
And Keith, not smoking with his dog, his Bentley, probably London, probably 1966, etc.:
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And last but certainly in no way least!!!
Nick Cave!! Smoking and multi-tasking onstage in Melbourne, 1990!!
And here’s this upbeat little ditty. Excuse me, here’s the above-mentioned song!
“The Carny”
And no-one saw the carny go And the weeks flew by Until they moved on the show Leaving his caravan behind It was parked out on the south east ridge And as the company crossed the bridge With the first rain filling the bone-dry river bed It shone, just so, upon the edge Away, away, we’re sad, they said
Dog-boy, atlas, half-man, the geeks, the hired hands There was not one among them that did not cast an eye behind In the hope that the carny would return to his own kind And the carny had a horse, all skin and bone A bow-backed nag, that he named “Sorrow” Now it is buried in a shallow grave In the then parched meadow
And the dwarves were given the task of digging the ditch And laying the nag’s carcass in the ground And boss Bellini, waving his smoking pistol around Saying, “The nag is dead meat” “We can’t afford to carry dead weight” The whole company standing about Not making a sound And turning to dwarves perched on the enclosure gate The boss says “Bury this lump of crow bait”
And then the rain came hammering down Everybody running for their wagons Tying all the canvas flaps down The mangy cats growling in their cages The bird-girl flapping and squawking around The whole valley reeking of wet beast Wet beast and rotten hay Freak and brute creation Packed up and on their way
The three dwarves peering from their wagon’s hind Moses says to Noah “We shoulda dugga deepa one” Their grizzled faces like dying moons Still dirty from the digging done And Charlie, the eldest of the three, said “I guess the carny ain’t gonna show” And they were silent for a spell Wishing they’d done a better job of burying Sorrow
And as the company passed from the valley Into higher ground The rain beat on the ridge and on the meadow And on the mound Until nothing was left, nothing at all Except the body of Sorrow That rose in time To float upon the surface of the eaten soil
And a murder of crows did circle round First one, then the others flapping blackly down And the carny’s van still sat upon the edge Tilting slowly as the firm ground turned to sludge And the rain it hammered down And no-one saw the carny go I say it’s funny how things go
c – 1986 – Nick Cave
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And I believe that is it!
Have a great Monday, wherever you are in the world!!
Thanks for visiting.
I love you guys. See ya!
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I leave you with this!
Late-night listening music!!
I just love this song, gang.
From Tom Petty’s first solo album, Full Moon Fever — which recently turned 37 years old!!
“A Face in the Crowd,” 1989. The original official video. Enjoy, gang.
“A Face In The Crowd”
Before all of this ever went down In another place, another town
You were just a face in the crowd You were just a face in the crowd Out in the street, walking around A face in the crowd
Out of a dream, out of the sky Into my heart, into my life
And you were just a face in the crowd You were just a face in the crowd Out in the street, thinking out loud A face in the crowd
Out of a dream, out of the sky Into my heart, into my life
And you were just a face in the crowd You were just a face in the crowd Out in the street, walking around A face in the crowd
A face in the crowd A face in the crowd A face in the crowd
It’s not raining here, but it’s really grey and cool, and since it’s Sunday, it makes me feel like just being lazy all day.
Here were some of us being lazy about an hour ago — Freddie and Calico snuggling against my legs, on the bed; Cuddles McGee on the corner of my desk:
And here’s a couple of the things we were listening to while I had my coffee (in bed):
These hymns startled the cats because usually they prefer rock & roll…. so I switched back over to rock & roll!
Anyway.
The lawncare guy has already been here and my lawn looks great!! (He got here at 8:15AM. I’m curious if my neighbors appreciated that…)
And my Sunday shift with the retired Minister and his lovely wife and cat starts earlier now, so I don’t really have time to just hang out and do nothing…
So I’m up, and dressed (after being awake for 5 hours) and now here I am.
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If you saw my post from late yesterday afternoon, you know that yesterday was a really great day.
My trip to NYC is set. And my books are selling on Amazon!!
Plus, my shift with my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man was just terrific. About 5 minutes after I got there yesterday, he was up and dressed — had his wooden leg on, his hearing aides in, his glasses on, his teeth in and he had even made his bed. He was still beaming and just so happy from our trip to the golf course on Friday. He made his way into the kitchen and said: ‘Thank you so much for that beautiful trip yesterday!”
He brought it up many times during my shift. It had made him so happy.
I find it so interesting, how he can remember our trips there so well, when he has almost no short term memory. Clearly, when he’s completely engaged in something, his mind connects. (He always remembers when we go out for sashimi & sake, too. And he remembers that I get off the freeway whenever possible and take the backroads, which are so beautiful. He always says: “You are the only one who takes me on this road. I love this road.” I love it, too.)
Anyway. We had another really great afternoon yesterday, just hanging out and chatting in his living room. He was thoroughly engaged.
Several times during the afternoon, he sang me the chorus of “You Are My Sunshine.” (So, yes — the thought of this man stuck a nursing home with no visitors, just waiting to die, breaks my heart. I have not heard anything more from his daughter, but she communicates through the private nurse, who has been really sick this past week.)
Obviously, I’m hoping his daughter will change her mind. But if he does get put away, I can’t imagine not visiting him all the time. And where I would find the time to do that, who knows…
Some neighbors are taking him to a guitar concert tonight in Granville. His neighbors all adore him, too. He is going to love that concert.
Just some random Japanese guy, 72 years ago…
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Since I get home earlier now on Sundays, this evening I’m planning on watching this on Metrograph:
I’m Not Everything I Want to Be (Directed by Klára Tasovská, 90- mins, 2024):
“Oft referred to as the Nan Goldin of Czechoslovakia, Libuše Jarcovjáková chronicled after-dark Prague in the 1970s and ’80s, her photographs of let-it-all-hang-out gay clubs, factory hands working the third shift, and clandestine parties giving a picture of communist-era Czechoslovakia very different from the official one. Klára Tasovská’s candid and compelling documentary provides Jarcovjáková with a platform to tell her story: that of one woman’s tireless search for liberation in an era of state repression.”
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And a slight, though none-the-less cryptic update regarding the streamer channel, BET+, closing down in June — a few of their shows have moved over to Paramount+, and Sandra will be shooting another episode of “The Miss Pat Show” with them in late June — and having a “discussion” with a couple of the producers who have seen our TV proposal and who also moved over to Paramount+….
So I’m extremely, well, interested.
However, this also means that when I’m in NYC in mid-June, I will be able to focus on just hangin’ out in NYC and seeing old friends (we’ll be working on the play later in the summer):
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Okay!
Here’s this!
A triple-play!! And of course, it’s from Phyllis Stein!
Patti, Bob –and Keith!! At the Bitter End in Greenwich Village, 1975!! (And I played on that same stage in the early 1980s, gang. What a history that stage had!! It was so cool.)
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This next one was very long but very informative and had a few photos. But here is the main gist:
Gram Parsons at Harvard in 1965:
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Which, of course, leads to Keith!
I liked these photos because they were just sort of a little strange — Keith, staring at something:
And Keith and Mick backstage in 1972 — on the phone??
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And I loved these!
Two photos of Nick Cave and Blixa Bargeld in Japan in November, 1985. Photos by Midori Tsukagoshi:
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And I believe that is it for now!
I’m going to do a little yoga and then get ready for my drive to town!
Have a great Sunday, wherever you are in the world.
Thanks for visiting.
I love you guys. See ya!
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This is what the cats insisted on listening to after the Sunday-hymn-singing was over!!
A few great ones by The Kinks!
I have narrowed it down to the 2 that they seemed to like best!! (And it turned out they were also long-time favorites of mine!)
From 1981, “Better Things,” from the album, Give the People What They Want:
“Better Things”
Here’s wishing you the bluest sky And hoping something better comes tomorrow Hoping all the verses rhyme And the very best of choruses to Follow all the doubt and sadness I know that better things are on the way
Here’s hoping all the days ahead Won’t be as bitter as the ones behind you Be an optimist instead And somehow happiness will find you Forget what happened yesterday I know that better things are on the way
It’s really good to see you rocking out and having fun Living like you just begun Accept your life and what it brings I hope tomorrow you’ll find better things I know tomorrow you’ll find better things
Here’s wishing you the bluest sky And hoping something better comes tomorrow Hoping all the verses rhyme And the very best of choruses to Follow all the doubt and sadness I know that better things are on the way
I know you’ve got a lot of good things happening up ahead The past is gone, it’s all been said So here’s to what the future brings I know tomorrow you’ll find better things I know tomorrow you’ll find better things I hope tomorrow you’ll find better things I know tomorrow you’ll find better things
c – 1981 – Ray Davies
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And from 1983, “Come Dancing,” from the album, State of Confusion. Enjoy, gang!!
“Come Dancing”
They put a parking lot on a piece of land Where the supermarket used to stand Before that they put up a bowling alley On the site that used to be the local Palais That’s where the big bands used to come and play My sister went there on a Saturday
Come dancing All her boyfriends used to come and call Why not come dancing? It’s only natural
Another Saturday, another date She would be ready but she’s always make them wait In the hallway in anticipation He didn’t know the night would end up in frustration He’d end up blowing all his wages for the week All for a cuddle and a peck on the cheek
Come dancing That’s how they did it when I was just a kid And when they said come dancing My sister always did
My sister should have come in at midnight And my mum would always sit up and wait It always ended up in a big row When my sister used to get home late
Out of my window I can see them in the moonlight Two silhouettes saying goodnight by the garden gate
The day they knocked down the Palais My sister stood and cried The day they knocked down the Palais Part of my childhood died, just died
Now I’m grown up and playing in a band And there’s a car park where the Palais used to stand My sister’s married and she lives on an estate Her daughters go out, now it’s her turn to wait She knows they get away with things she never could But if I asked her I wonder if she would
Come dancing Come on, sister, have yourself a ball Don’t be afraid to come dancing It’s only natural
Come dancing Just like the Palais on a Saturday And all her friends will come dancing Where the big bands used to play
The weather is perfectly splendid, for one thing! Which means I will get to go outside later and take a walk and just see all the stuff that’s turning green and blooming all over the indescribably peaceful village today.
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As far as miracles go…
Now that I’ve transferred The Muse Revisited Collection from Smashwords over to Amazon Kindle, the eBooks are actually selling again. And not the “free downloads with Kindle Unlimited” but actually selling.
I find this astounding. But in a good way! (The collection has been available for well over a decade, and it is a collection of my erotic fiction from 1997-2009). (Yes! That means that the “newest” piece in the collection is 17 years old already…)
I am going to try to move A Man In Her Arms & Other Stories over to Kindle, as well. Both in print and eBook. I say “try” because I have to start the formatting from scratch with that one, and sometimes that stuff makes me a little looney — it used to be so much easier in olden times.
But I am also going to see if Amazon will let me re-publish 1954 Powder Blue Pickup with Kindle, as well. We’ll see how it goes this time.
Back when I first released it, in late 2021, I was up to my eyeballs in 5gw stuff and Amazon was doing some seriously destructive shit to my career and they were remarkably effective at it.
But now that that seems to be over, I’m gonna try to slide 1954 Powder Blue Pickup back in there and see if it sticks this time.
I love that book so much and it gets more and more difficult for people to find it.
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Another miracle!
If you google my name with The Curse of Our Profound Disorder, now Barnes & Noble comes up!!
They have not carried my books in, like, forever.
I used to have a really, really GREAT relationship with B&N. You used to be able to walk into any B&N in the English-speaking world, and find all of my books for sale there.
And their online bookstore used to carry everything, too.
But now that — what was once — the really burgeoning world of literary erotica has been almost thoroughly erased, BN.com has carried maybe 2 or 3 of my books that are still with traditional publishers.
Anyway, when I saw B & N come up on Google this morning, I was once again really, really thrilled with my decision to go with a private PR firm for my new novel.
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And speaking of the new novel–
Yesterday, I was able to drop off an advanced review copy to the bookstore in Granville, Ohio, that said they will carry my book (!!).
And I was also able to stop in at the old train station, where I used to be the night manager, and lend my dear friend Wendy a review copy, as well. She is helping me brainstorm the whole book launch party thing in September.
It was such a thrill to see her face light up when she saw me walk in to the station, carrying my book! And she gave me a big hug and was just so excited for me.
You know, in the old days, when I actually had people in my life and not just cats, I would have gone to some great restaurant and celebrated.
So it felt really great to hand the book to Wendy. Plus, she is planning on buying the book from the bookstore in Granville in September. And she also said that a couple of the customers from the station who remember me from the old days are really excited about the book, too, and will be buying it at the Granville bookstore, too.
So that makes me feel really, really great, because the owner of the bookstore will get to make some sales.
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And in other miracle-news!
I paid all the bills this morning and I still have money left over…
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All righty!
On a somber note–
Today is the anniversary of the death of Johnny Thunders, who died on this day in 1991.
About 8 years ago, Wayne made us both T-shirts: “Johnny Thunders for President”. So in honor of Johnny’s passing, we are both wearing our T-shirts today.
Here’s me in mine:
RIP, Johnny Thunders.
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I would have posted this yesterday, if I hadn’t had a weird morning.
They ran the opening ceremony in NYC live on Instagram, so it was really cool to watch it happen:
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And over the weekend, Patti Hansen and her daughters and 2 of her grandchildren did a special Mother’s Day ad campaign for Burberry, and yesterday, Patti, Alexandra, and Theodora posted a bunch of photos and videos on Instagram. (Theodora is currently pregnant with her second baby.)
Patti and Alexandra, with comments from Alexandra and Theordora:
Alexandra with her 2 kids
Theodora with her neice
And on a related note–
A great photo of Keith from the 1980s, taken by Ronnie’s then-wife, Jo Wood:
And just proof, in case you needed it, that Keith has been able to play the piano for a really long time now:
He sent out a Red Hand File this morning, wherein he discussed the various podcasts he has time to listen to and some of the books he’s had time to read!! (You can read about those HERE.)
He also said that he is:
“… looking forward to reading Andy Beta’s biography of Alice Coltrane, Cosmic Music, which I’ve just ordered. Thanks for the recommendation, Peter, I had no idea it had come out (I’ve sent a copy to Warren too).“
And apparently Warren received his copy quite speedily as he already posted this today:
And Nick added:
“…I am back in my office writing lyrics at the moment and am particularly in need of quiet, so that the words can find their way – and so that I have something to sing when I go into the studio next week with Warren to begin what may, in some far-flung future, when all the stars align and the planets clap their hands in joy, amount to the next Bad Seeds record.”
The only thing I am completely certain of about today is that I will take a walk later, do some yoga, and VACUUM!!!!
Other than that, we’ll just see what unfolds. (Oh, and BET+, the streamer channel, has announced that they are closing down on June 11th, so that sort of makes the “TV proposal” life a little interesting around here…)
Anyway.
Life seems really fluid right now, so I have no idea what is likely to happen at any given moment.
Enjoy your Thursday, wherever you are in the world.
Thanks for visiting.
I love you guys, See ya!
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I leave you with this!
From my retro boombox next to my bed this morning!
I have always loved this song, from the first moment I heard it, and as fate would have it — it was a huge hit on the Top 40 radio when I went to visit my birth dad in Fallon, Nevada for the first time (1989).
He and I were standing in my stepsister’s living room — I was meeting her for the first time, too — and this song came on her radio.
I quietly thought to myself at that moment that I would never forget that moment, ever, and would think of it every time I heard that song.
And 37 years later, that turned out to be completely and entirely true.
Love and Rockets, “So Alive”, 1989. Enjoy, gang.
"So Alive"
I don't know what color your eyes are, baby But your hair is long and brown Your legs are strong, and they're so, so long And you don't come from this town
My head is full of magic, baby And I can't share this with you I feel I'm on a cross again, lately But that's nothing to do with you
I'm alive, huh, huh, so alive I'm alive, huh, huh so alive
Your strut makes me crazy Makes me see you more clearly Oh, baby, now I can see you Wish I could stop Switch off the clock Make it all happen for you
I'm alive, huh, huh, so alive I'm alive, huh, huh so alive
I don't know what color your eyes are, baby But your hair is long and brown Your legs are strong, and they're so, so long And you don't come from this town
My head is full of magic, baby And I gotta share this with you I feel I'm on top again, baby That's got everything to do with you
I'm alive, huh, huh, so alive I'm alive, huh, huh so alive Doo-doo-doo Doo-doo-doo Doo-doo-doo Doo-doo-doo Doo-doo-doo Doo-doo-doo Ooh
c- 1989 - Daniel Gaston Ash / David Jay / Kevin Haskins
The official Press Release for The Curse of Our Profound Disorder went out over the weekend and I am absolutely thrilled with the results thus far.
The book doesn’t officially come out for 5 more months, so I will keep you posted with how the PR goes as the month of August winds down.
But as of right now, I couldn’t be happier. It got picked up by a few press wires in the UK and a bunch in the US.
And from there, it even got picked up by the Cincinnati Enquirer! (If my dad were still alive — he lived in Cincinnati — he would have been really thrilled.) (Yes, the very same city where I absolutely hated going to college — I dropped out after the first quarter — was the very first significant site to pick up the press release for my new book!!) (Makes having gone to college there for 3 agonizing months totally worth it!!)
Me! In college! Just add copious amounts of bisexual sex… yes, 1978 looked good on me!
I find this next part very interesting — today, if you enter my name and the book’s title into Google, the AI description absolutely nails the fucking book! It astounds me. Because, you know, no one has read the book yet. Just me, Wayne, and the publisher — Valerie hasn’t finished reading it yet. Review copies have not gone out anywhere.
Here is the Google AI description, in part:
Key aspects of the novel: Protagonist: Jemima Callahan, who is born to a teen mother and is the illegitimate daughter of a town preacher.
Plot: Chronicles Jemima's journey from a troubled childhood with abuse in foster care to her life as a young woman surviving on the streets, and eventually finding a new direction.
Themes: Coming-of-age, trauma, identity, generational pain, survival, and societal taboos, particularly around sexuality.
Central conflict: Jemima's search for her father, Reverend Parker Peabody, and the hope that he will live up to the idealized image her mother created.
I’m really just happily amazed by the whole process. I am so glad I hired that PR firm.
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Okay, for some reason, I am getting a really late start here this morning, although the second load of laundry is already underway.
It is, of course, my day off. And the first day off wherein ALL workmen and repair guys have completed all the upgrades to This Old House (& barn) and so the day is completely and utterly mine.
And it is a gorgeous day here, although it is really cold. I had to cover up the rose bushes last night so that the frost wouldn’t kill them.
Anyway, I’m not sure why my brain seems to be lagging here this morning, but I am hoping (really) to get some writing done today. I still have that one short story that needs about 400 words before it is complete.
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Anyway–
Here’s this!
Piccadilly Circus, in London, as it looked in the mid-1970s!
This was exactly how it looked when I made my first trip to London, in 1976. And yes! I was 16. And yes — since it was the 1970s, why wouldn’t I have had copious amounts of booze and then some sex with a Greek taxi driver in his taxi, late in the August evening, just off of Piccadilly Circus??? While my mom was waiting back at the Kensington Hotel…
(I am absolutely not kidding you, gang — if you weren’t alive in the 1970s, you just wouldn’t understand this! Anyway…)
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And here’s this!
I have no idea how he got his hair to do this, but I’m guessing he encountered electricity in some way?
Warren Ellis, end of tour!!
Warren, saying goodbye to that room with the view…
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And here’s this!
The last known photo of George Harrison and John Lennon together — in Los Angeles, in the mid 70s:
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And here’s Keith!!
Having no problems in NYC in 1988! (Press promo for his first solo album, Talk Is Cheap.)
Photo by Timothy White
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Here’s Keith again. Only with Mick, in 1967! Just sort of hanging out, I guess.
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And here are these!!
Two more classics of Nick Cave!!
Nick, not smoking while wearing shades and standing near a peace lily!
Nick, smoking, while not wearing shades and not standing near a peace lily!
I could stare at this photo all the fucking time, but I’m already having enough trouble getting anything fucking done around here…
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And with that!!
I guess I will get back to that laundry now, maybe do some vacuuming, and then focus on some short story writing!!
I hope you have a great Monday, wherever you are in the world.
Thanks for visiting.
I love you guys. See ya!
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I leave you with more breakfast-listening music!
Still have the Best of Sam Cooke CD in the kitchen juke box!
I love this song. It is so “yesteryear”! I find it sort of addicting, it just feels so nice and so non-threatening.
“Having A Party”. Sam Cooke. 1962. Enjoy, gang.
“Having A Party”
We’re having a party dancing to the music played by the DJ on the radio the cokes are in the icebox the popcorn’s on the table me and my baby, we’re out here on the floor
So listen, Mr. DJ keep those records playing ’cause I’m having such a good time dancing with my baby
Everybody’s swinging Sally’s doing that twist now if you take request, I…. I got a few for you play that song called Soul Twist play that one called I Know don’t forget the Mashed Potatoes no other songs will do
Let me tell you Mr., Mr. DJ why don’t you keep those records playing ’cause I’m having such a good time dancing with my baby
Having a party–yeah everybody’s swinging–oh we’re dancing to the music–yeah on the radio–oh we’re having a party–man everybody’s swinging–yeah dancing to the music–yeah on the radio–say it one more time
We’re having a party–yeah everybody’s swinging–oh we’re dancing to the music–yeah on the radio (song fades and ends)
After I left my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man’s house, I went to downtown Newark — Ohio, not New Jersey, as my best friend Valerie in Brooklyn mistakenly said: “You’re driving to New Jersey??!!”
Which is about a 12-hour drive from here. So, no. I made a 10-minute drive…
I went to this newly restored building, called The Historic Arcade. Wow, was the vibe there fantastic, gang. I just loved it. The whole block, in fact, reminded me of Cleveland, a long time ago. Here’s what the Arcade looks like now:
Yesterday, two friends were sponsoring an Arts Fair there, and I wanted to stop in and see the art, and also see their new fine arts & antiques gallery.
So imagine the above scene, lined on each side with artists displaying their creations.
No CGI, no AI, nothing digitally enhanced. Just good old art created by human beings in Ohio.
For me, it was breathtaking, because I hadn’t been to any kind of art show in a really long time. The energy is so different from the type of energy I’m usually up to my eyeballs in, and I just loved it. Plus, I had no idea The Arcade even existed, since I don’t spend much time in Newark, except to see clients in their homes.
I will definitely be going back. The Arcade has a couple of eateries, but also a used bookstore! And just some other really cool shops.
And my friends’ art gallery was wonderful: Ball Hill “petit galerie” at The Arcade. Here is a photo from their website (please note 2 actual Helen LaFrance paintings on the wall, foreground right, top & middle — the barn, and a day at the races!!):
You can’t really see it from this photo, but at the front of the gallery were two chairs on a sort of raised area, and I wondered if maybe a book signing/reading would work in there this September??
I’m not really sure, but I mentioned it to Kevin (my friend — one of the owners), and he wasn’t really sure, either. It’s narrow and small, with a lot of breakable glass and porcelain antiques in the middle. But he was going to give it some thought. I only know about 4 people in this entire area, so I don’t think it would be hard to ask the four of them to “please stand perfectly still” during the entire event…
Anyway! I really just loved the place so we’ll see.
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Before I forget, all 3 volumes in The Muse Revisited collection are now up and available for sale on Amazon Kindle. They are free if you have Kindle Unlimited.
These are eBooks only. And very, very old. They have never been in print.
It’s probably easiest to just visit the page here on the blog, for the new links to Amazon, and it also lists the table of contents for each book.
Please remember that all the books in this series are 100% absolutely for ADULTS ONLY!!!! Thank you.
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Okay!
Let’s catch up a little.
Friday, April 17th, was Keith’s daughter Angela’s birthday!!
From Keith:
And RollingStonesBrasil posted this:
Keith, in 2013, with Angela and her daughter, Ava Melody:
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And here’s this!
A couple of older photos that I love!
Keith, smoking onstage in maybe 1965?? Not sure.
Keith with a rose, not smoking, in front of his Bentley. Maybe 1966?
Photo by Gerard Mankowitz
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Apparently, yesterday was the 32nd anniversary of the release of this amazing album!!
Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds! Let Love In.
And I guess we should take a moment to revisit this amazing classic!! “Red Right Hand”. From Let Love In, 1994!
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And I realize that this film is about 754 years old already, but if you haven’t seen it yet, what is taking you so long???
The retired Minister and his lovely wife and cat (well, I’m not sure how much input the cat had with this decision), anyway, they decided they wanted to change my hours on Sundays.
So starting today, I will be with them all afternoon, instead of into the evening. So I can’t go to the meetup. But I am really glad that on Sundays from now on, I should be home by 6PM. Yay!!
So, enjoy your Sunday, wherever you are in the world!
Thanks for visiting.
I love you guys. See ya!
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It was another one of those interesting mornings.
I woke up singing a song from the old Broadway musical, “Paint Your Wagon”! A song I really love, but hadn’t thought of in about 40 years.
I was 18 when I saw a road-show version of “Paint Your Wagon” in Columbus, and I loved the whole show, but this song blew me away. It really did. I had to go out and buy the Original Broadway Cast album the next day, so that I could hear this song over and over and over.
I always dreamed that this song, in its own way, would someday come true for me. So far, it hasn’t happened. But how weird that I got out of bed singing it this morning, at 5AM, at the top of my voice and all the cats came scampering in!!
I found this version of the song this morning on YouTube. From 2016. They do a really lovely job.
“I Talk to the Trees”, Lerner & Loewe. “Paint Your Wagon”. 1951. Enjoy, gang.
Yes, even though the TV weatherman up in Columbus on Tuesday, said that today was going to be a rainy, lousy day, I stood firm in my conviction that the weatherman didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about and that it was going to be gorgeous today, and I was correct!!
It is just stunning out there this morning. And all the dogwood trees are in bloom (including the ancient one outside my kitchen window), and all the other trees have their baby “spring-green” leaves. No wind today, either!! And the sky is so blue.
Today, of course, is the day that my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man and I go to the golf course to have lunch at the incredible clubhouse with the stunning views! (Photos don’t actually come close to capturing how it feels to walk into this dining room and see miles and miles of trees and rolling foothills and sky, sky, sky!)
It is in honor of today being the day that both his 2nd wife (the love of his life), and my dad passed away (in different years). We are expecting the pleasure of their company, in spirit, at the clubhouse today!!
And the last time we were there (Christmas), I was expecting it to be our final time there together, because I was planning on retiring in January.
Today, will be a wee bit intense for me because, if my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man’s daughter does indeed stick him in that awful nursing home, this could likely really be our last time at that lovely place together. But I am going to just try to make it the best day, ever. Because being present today, here & now, is all that ever really matters.
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Okay!
Well, my best friend Valerie in Brooklyn and I finally had a chance to catch up on the phone yesterday afternoon!
We are trying to brainstorm (can you “try” to brainstorm, or do you simply brainstorm?) about the best way to structure our upcoming mini-podcast, “Marilyn’s Room”. My writing, her paintings. And then just chat for a few minutes — probably about the free & unbridled years of living in NYC in the 1980s!!
SHE (under her breath): “When I was selling cocaine to absolutely everyone who worked at the Museum of Modern Art…well, maybe I shouldn’t bring that up.”
ME (enthusiastically): “No, no! Bring it up!! Just don’t name any names. But it was 40 years ago already. Most of those folks probably aren’t even alive anymore.”
So it could be entertaining and very, very informative!!
Just don’t expect any make-up or fancy hairdos, gang. The use of a comb is likely going to be the extent of the glamor…(Our minds are still really glamorous, though, and I think that’s the best part of aging gracefully. We shall soon see!)
We’re also thinking, though, that if anyone out there has their own writing or art to promote and wants to chat for 10 minutes, we can have “guests”!!
So keep that in mind, gang. (And don’t name names, for godssakes, but do “elude” in enough detail that we can figure out who you’re referring to on our own!!)
“Johnny Depp Earns Huge CinemaCon Applause and Debuts Scrooge Transformation in ‘A Christmas Carol’ First Footage“
Photo by Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images
“…Paramount debuted a first-look at the Yuletide release during its presentation to movie theater owners at CinemaCon on Thursday, with Depp taking the stage in Las Vegas.
“Depp entered The Colosseum at Caesar’s Palace to wild applause and catcalls from the rafters. ‘It really has been an extraordinary privilege,’ Depp said on stage, about being asked by director Ti West to take on the role, calling the tale of Scrooge one ‘I have been obsessed with since I was a little child.'”
However, this part here makes me think I might not be seeing this in a movie theater, where I can’t fast-forward through anything:
“…as the ghosts who visit Depp’s Scrooge are intricate, terrifying apparitions not suitable for the whole family.”
Yikes. I am my whole family! Anyway. The complete article is HERE.
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And from Ronnie Wood:
You can pre-order his new print, D’Orsay Blue Horse, at a special price before April 24th and also get a free, green “Wild Horses” t-shirt!!
I love this photo of Keith!! (I printed it out and it went right on to my wall!!)
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And here’s this!!
Nick Cave smoking at his mom’s house! (He might also be drinking a cup of tea, but I’m not 100% certain about that…)
Photo by Andrew Southam
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And I actually have more “here’s this’s” for today, but I’m out of time!
I gotta scoot and head to town on this absolutely gorgeous day.
Have a great Friday, wherever you are in the world, gang!
Thanks for visiting.
I love you guys. See ya!
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Through some blessing and/or miracle, the chorus to this song was going through my head when I awoke at 3:45AM, trying hard not to think about this being the 2nd anniversary of my dad’s death because I just don’t want to be sad today.
I do think there was some type of angelic interference because I have not so much as thought of this song — let alone sang the chorus to it over and over in my head upon awakening — in ages.
“Everything Is Beautiful”, 1970. Ray Stevens. Enjoy, gang.
I’m really trying though, gang. To find that inner peace this morning.
And yesterday was a very good day with my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man. I’m hoping today will be the same. (See yesterday’s post.)
Yesterday, we went out for sashimi and sake, and a strange thing happened when the fortune cookies arrived. We both got the same fortune — but his had a typo in it:
When I got to his house yesterday morning, before I woke him, I set out a really cool old photo of his dad, from 1957. Small. About 5 x 7. It’s in a lovely old frame, too. I set it on the small table next to his recliner.
I found the photo in his dining room, but it was stuck back behind a bunch of larger photos, so you couldn’t even see it.
Anyway. When he discovered this photo next to his chair, it absolutely delighted him. (His dad is 88 years old in the photo. His dad was 60 years old when my favorite Japanese man was born.)
Honestly, this photo made his day. He kept holding it and staring at it. (If I remember, I’ll try to get a photo of the photo today and post it here. His dad is standing on the front porch of that house he designed that is a House Museum in Tokyo now.)
I also told him that next Friday is supposed to be a really gorgeous Spring day. And since the trees everywhere are now getting their bright green leaves that he loves, the views at the clubhouse at the golf course should be beautiful.
But it’s also going to be April 17th next Friday. And I reminded him that both his second wife (the love of his life) and my dad died on April 17th (several years apart). So I suggested we go have lunch at the golf course in honor of that — and that most likely the Spirits of his wife and my dad will join us for lunch.
This idea basically overwhelmed him with joy.
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All righty.
From the RollingStonesBrasil channel a few minutes ago on Instagram. This is in translation mode:
There was also a very, very short audio snippet from the new Stones single posted to “the Cockroaches” WhatsApp but now I can’t find it! But it sounded really good — even though it was only about 5 seconds.
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Okay!!
The print edition of my 2011 novel, Twilight of the Immortal is indeed back in print, at least on Amazon.
In the 15 years that I have been self-publishing, my best friend Valerie in Brooklyn has designed a lot of my book covers (including the one above, based on a photo of the Silent Film actress, Bebe Daniels, in 1921).
But for whatever reason, Valerie hasn’t actually read most of my books. And this goes way back to the beginning of my career in short story & fiction publishing — 1988. (Valerie and I have known each other, in every sense of the word, since 1982.)
I had asked her recently (“begged” is probably a better word) to please read The Curse of Our Profound Disorder, because I wanted to enter it into literary contests and I couldn’t figure out what category it goes in. I had sent her the Word file for it several months ago, but she never read it.
So she promised to read it and, last evening, she sent a text saying, in part: “Wow, Emmy!! The writing is incredible!!”
That made me feel incredible.
So yesterday was a pretty okay day, on many levels.
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Okay.
Here’s this.
George Harrison doing his Krishna thing:
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And from Dana Petty, posted late last night. (And according to old interviews with Tom, Dana — his second wife! — was also the love of his life. He adored that woman so much. They married after she helped him quit heroin.)
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And here’s this!
The Ramones. No explanation needed.
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And here’s this!
Johnny Thunders. Probably no explanation needed here, either.
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And here’s this from my private desktop stash. Just because my soul needed this kind of inspiration this morning.
Nick Cave. I don’t remember when, where, or photo-by-whom. I just love it.
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And that is it for now.
Tomorrow, I’m taking the day off because I’m taking that screenwriting webinar in the late afternoon. So that means 2 days off in a row again. Yay! (However, an “AC install fire drill” is scheduled to happen on Monday at 8AM…)
At some point, I will also be catching up with Sandra to see where we’re at with (all 3 of) our current projects (TV, theater, movie). (I’m guessing that she will call as soon as the AC install guys actually show up…)
Meanwhile, enjoy your Saturday, wherever you are in the world.
Thanks for visiting.
I love you guys. See ya.
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Let’s close with this. Just because it suits my mood.
Me. Song written in 1984. Demo from 1994. Enjoy, gang.
Mother with the Gun
It’s been so long Since I held my man In my arms without a fire in my head; It’s been so long Since I laid with him Side by side without the rage of one regret.
CHORUS I I had this dream that I took all I could take Pulled a .38 and blew my man away And both our kids had seen What I had done And the Press called me the ‘Mother with the Gun.’
It’s been so long Since I earned my pay Without feeling I’d been chained down to the ground; It’s been so long Since I made my way Sure and proud without The shame of kneeling down.
CHORUS II I had this dream that I took all I could take Pulled a .38 and blew my boss away And both my kids had seen What I had done And the Press called me the ‘Mother with the Gun.’
It’s been so long, now Since I’ve been old enough I’ve got the wisdom that you get From bearing pain; But now my kids it seems Just make the same mistakes; Will I sit back and watch it All go down again?
CHORUS III I had this dream that I took all I could take I called an agency and gave my kids away I signed a paper to ensure we’d stay apart And the Man called me the mother with no heart. I had this dream that I took all I could take And I woke up this morning feeling far away And there’s a man fading with the setting sun His voice is shouting, “Come on, lady, drop the gun…”