Tag Archives: love

Sorry I’m Late!

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It’s Primary Election Day here in Ohio, so I had to go out and do that thing.

But I am back!

I don’t know if it’s just me, gang, but things feel so weird today.

For one thing, I had so many vivid dreams last night. Like someone was trying really, really hard to tell me something.

In one dream, I was in the house I owned about 10 years ago. I was unpacking and moving back in. And I was really happy about it, but it was as if I was returning there from having been in a sort of coma.

All the cats were there and happy I was back. And then at one point, an official sort of woman — don’t know how to describe her — brought in my Aunt Sylvia, my Great Aunt Gertrude, and my grandfather!!

All of these relatives have been dead for a really long time. But they were all really happy to be back and I was so happy to see them. (They were from my adoptive maternal side of the family.)

In another dream, I literally could not keep my eyelids open and I was going around doing important stuff (including driving on the freeway) with my eyes shut — trying really hard to lift my eyelids so that I could see.

But there was a lot more to the dreams than that, and all of it was totally lucid dreaming. Not something I’ve done in a really long time. So that, in itself, felt really strange.

But I did get the impression, when all the dreams were over, that I’ve been “asleep in the dream of life” for a few years or something and I’m trying to wake up again.

However — wasn’t it sort of like this image I posted yesterday??? About letting anxiety take a back seat for awhile?? Too weird!!

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Okay. Anyway.

I voted. I have the day off. I’m not super happy about losing all that money for today — Tuesdays are good money days for me. But I’ve decided that I will try to just stay relaxed (that’s my new “idea” — to relax). And have a good day.

We’re gonna see how that goes.

I just feel so fucking strange.

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Okay. Did you visit the Rolling Stones web site yet??

It’s too fun. It opens with a “studio surveillance system” — you click on the various cameras and get grainy black & white footage of the Stones in the studio, making the new album. Some of the cameras “don’t work.”

Anyway. It’s fun. And then you can also enter the main web site.

Tonight, Mick Jagger is going to be on late night TV, I guess introducing the new single from the upcoming album. Methinks I will not be awake, but I feel pretty certain I will get bombarded with it all over Instagram tomorrow morning…

Meanwhile, here’s this!

From 60 years ago… the original Rolling Stones:

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NewFest Pride announced their film line-up that will launch Pride Month in NYC.

There will be big outdoor screenings, but if you no longer live anywhere near NYC — you can get a virtual pass, and watch the films online.

There are many different options for purchasing passes to the screenings and parties and Q&A’s in NYC HERE.

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And by accident, last night I re-listened to chapters 12 -17 of The Dharma Bums on YouTube! I was listening to something else and trying to skip the ad, when it suddenly took me to a totally different video that I had listened to several months ago.

But I was quietly very happy with this twist of fate! I love that book. (Chapters 12 -17):

And I think maybe it was Jack, once again helping me make peace with the ever-upcoming release of The Curse of Our Profound Disorder and how it will likely be a book that won’t sit well with people….

Jack’s spirit is really good at helping me come to terms with that.

Jack Kerouac in Greenwich Village, NYC — looks like late 1940s or early 1950s.

I did get a really wonderful text from Wendy yesterday, saying she had finished reading the novel. It was difficult for her to get through (see yesterday’s post), but she liked how everything was resolved in the end.

And she also said: “If you don’t have a book launch, how will people know the book is out?”

Which, obviously, is a very good point…

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Okay. Well, on a somewhat different note!

Here’s this! So similar to yesterday!

Keith, drinking Jack Daniels onstage!

And so here’s the follow up to what I alluded to yesterday about my dad’s parenting skills in 1972:

I was 12, and closed up in my bedroom, as usual. I was always closed up in there, listening to music or playing my guitar and writing songs.

My dad came in and told me that my grandmother (his mother) had just called to tell him that Karen and I had been drinking whiskey and smoking cigarettes.

ME: “How’d she know about that?”

HE (laughing but trying hard not to show it): “You mean it’s true?”

ME: “Yeah. But how’d she know?”

HE: “She saw you. You weren’t doing a very good job of trying to hide it. Do you even like whiskey?!”

ME: “No, but Karen does.”

And then my dad went on to tell me that I was too young to drink whiskey and smoke cigarettes, and that if I was going to keep on doing it, I better try harder to not get caught.

HE: “If you do get caught again, then I’m gonna look like I can’t control my own daughter. And then I’m gonna get angry.”

It is sufficient to say that, forever after, I tried really hard not to get caught drinking whiskey and smoking cigarettes… the rest of the stuff I got up to, not so much.

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All righty!

And here’s this!

Nick Cave in Berlin, 1986! Similar, but different! (I think I posted this one not too long ago, but it came up again today!)

And this!!

Nick and Blixa in the 80s!! Yay! (Apparently having no trouble at all keeping their eyes open…)

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And with that, I should close this, because the morning is almost gone around here.

Have a terrific Tuesday, wherever you are in the world, gang.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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Let’s close with this.

Morning-listening music!!

From Full Moon Fever, Tom Petty’s totally addictive “The Apartment Song”!! 1989. Enjoy, gang.

My new “go to” when the brain is trying to surface!!

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For some reason, I just love that ad (above). The energy of it. And it reminds me of all the times I’ve made great progress — here at this very desk, in this very Old House — writing.

A not-so-long-ago time of my life that I want to return to now at all times…

I never actually smoked Pall Malls, although my parents did in our first house in Cleveland. Then they switched to Larks:

And of course Eddie Van Halen (or at least his guitar) famously smoked Pall Malls:

And my birth mom still smokes Pall Malls, which is why there was a pack of them that I found in a kitchen drawer in this old house, several years ago, when I was craving an unlit cigarette that I could snap the filter off of and then sit with at my desk, and write….

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Wait!

First of all, I have to say THIS:

I did get a text from my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man’s daughter yesterday and she is not — AT THIS TIME — planning to put him in a nursing home!!! Those plans are on hold, sort of indefinitely.

Yay!!

Which means that many more tiny vodka cocktails are in our (his) future!!

Yesterday, his wooden leg was being wonky again so we didn’t go out for sashimi & sake (he’s getting a brand new leg on Tuesday). And late in my shift, he was sort of staring at the little end table next to his recliner, where upon there were 2 unopened bottles of protein drinks, some Greek yogurt, an organic ham sandwich, and a little bowl of organic non-GMO potato chips…and the little framed photo of his dad in Tokyo in 1957.

ME: “Are you looking for something?”

HE: “A gallon of vodka.”

So I promptly went to the fridge and got him about an ounce of the Smirnoff pre-mixed cocktail thingie that he loves. And he was delighted.

He also had great mental clarity yesterday, although, sadly, it was about his private nurse:

HE: “What’s going on with Annie? Is she still in the hospital?”

His daughter will be telling him the sad news later today, so I just said that I didn’t know. But I was so relieved that he remembered her name and that she’s been gone for a couple of weeks now.

So, overall, it was a great day but emotionally, I was still worn out.

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Okay.

Here’s this!

I was lying in bed this morning with my coffee. A few of the cats were on the bed with me, happily dozing. The sun was up and it was a beautiful Sunday morning.

Then I heard something clutter to the floor, so I sat up in bed and disturbed all the furry slumberers. But discovered that Calico had selected some reading materials for us from the bookshelf!!

Princess perusing our reading materials for today, selected by Calico.

The Stoned Apocalypse, an erotic classic about the 1960s by Marco Vassi, 1993 edition from Masquerade Books.

The Sick Bag Song by Nick Cave, hard cover, 2014 (and I was, you know, absolutely stunned that this book has been out for 12 years already. Christ. Where does the fucking time go??? But what a great book.)

And the navy blue book is a journal that I bought at the Kirtland Temple in 2018, when I was friends with 2 wonderful young Mormon missionaries. Two blonde girls, from out-of-State.

Original Mormon church from the 1830s, near Cleveland

The Kirtland Temple was incredible, btw. I am so glad I went there. But I forgot that I even had this journal. I opened it and on the inside cover, I’d written that Gus Van Sant, Sr. had died on Jan. 13, 2022. And I had also scribbled the Portuguese chorus from Nick Cave’s stunning song “Foi Na Cruz”.

In the actual journal, on the opening page, I’d written “January 2, 2020” but the entry itself is torn out.

And then the next page is from January 6, 2022, and it is one line from the poem “You, Dr. Martin” by Anne Sexton:

From breakfast to madness

And the rest of the journal that I’d forgotten I even had is totally blank!

And then as I was putting the books back on the bookshelf, right next to where the forgotten journal had been sitting was a composition theme notebook, so I pulled that out and discovered it was filled with all sorts of notes from plays and screenplays I was working on in 2014!!

Oh my god! So many incredible backstory notes for “Cleveland’s Burning” — a TV pilot that was in development forever with Bohemia Group Originals out in LA, until it came to a screeching halt with the scamdemic.

And then — I am not exagerrating (although I am misspelling “exaggerating”) — there were amazing scribbled notes for my in-progress play about the historical Jesus — “The Gospel According to Caiaphas”!! A play that is heavily influenced by Tom Stoppard’s 1967 masterpiece, “Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead.”

Crap, you know??? When am I going to get all this stuff done??

I’m guessing there are no amount of Pall Malls in the world that can give me actual TIME, but once I get the time, here’s hoping they will still be manufacturing Pall Malls.

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Well, okay.

Other interesting news– apparently my press release for the upcoming release of my forever-in-progress-but-finally-published novel The Curse of Our Profound Disorder, was also picked up by the Columbus Dispatch!!

Yes!! The main newspaper of the city of my rather un-illustrious birth to a 13-year-old Pall Mall-smoking girl!!

Wow. I was kinda stunned to see that. But I figured, you know, my feelings about Columbus and all the terrible things that happened to me there aside, I should probably send that newspaper a review copy…

What it looks like when I get an idea

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Okay.

I do have to get some stuff done around here before I head out to see the retired Minister and his wife and lovely cat.

So, here’s this!!

Bob Dylan!! Photographed by Bent Raj at Kronborg Castle in Elsinore, May 1st, 1966. Smoking! In black & white!

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And here’s this!!

2 of my intensely influential literary influences, together in Greenwich Village, NYC, in 1969!!

Patti Smith and Jim Carroll, on Minetta Street!!

(A street that became my stomping ground in 1982. There was a very small folk club there that’s gone now, but I used to hang out there all the time. In fact, the very first time I played “She Ain’t No Virgin At All” — alone with my guitar, I had just written the song the night before — was in that little club on Minetta Street. AND! In 1984, when I brought the demo of the song to the songwriting class I was taking with Jim Carroll at the West Side Y, and he played the tape in class, he said: “I have no advice for this. This song is perfect.” Below is that demo.)

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And here’s Keith smiling onstage, in a blue shirt!

And Keith onstage in 1975 (that Holy Year of Our Lord), in a mostly red shirt!

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And as luck would have it–

I was looking through all the movies I have in my Amazon Prime account last evening, and when I came upon “20,000 Days On Earth” — the Nick Cave film from, yes, 2014!! — which I’ve watched about 3 times, but it’s been a while since I last watched it, and I was thinking that I’d really like to watch that again…

Anyway, this still from one of my favorite scenes from that film was in my hashtag feed on Instagram this morning!

Methinks I’ll probably start watching it again tonight!

And here’s this!!

Nick Cave in the wind in Hamburg, 2024!!

Soon enough, it will be 2036, and I’ll see this photo again and I’ll think: Fuck, that was 12 years ago!! Where is the fucking time going??!!

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And with that, I think I will close and get stuff done before I have to head to town.

Enjoy your Sunday, gang, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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Let’s close with this!

I kid you not, gang, when this song came on the Oldies FM Radio Station on the retro boombox as I was making my bed this morning and was singing loudly along to the chorus, the cats came prancing in with their tails up high and they just seemed so frisky and happy. I think they really liked the feel of the chorus to this wonderful song!!

From 1984, by Jon Parr, “St. Elmo’s Fire (Man in Motion)”. Theme song from the movie, “St. Elmo’s Fire.” Enjoy, gang!! We sure did!!


“St. Elmo’s Fire (Man In Motion)”

Growin’ up
You don’t see the writing on the wall
Passin’ by
Movin’ straight ahead, you knew it all

But maybe sometime if you feel the pain
You’ll find you’re all alone
Everything has changed

Play the game
You know you can’t quit until it’s won
Soldier on
Only you can do what must be done

You know in some way
You’re a lot like me
You’re just a prisoner
And you’re tryin’ to break free

I can see a new horizon
Underneath the blazin’ sky
I’ll be where the eagle’s flyin’
Higher and higher

Gonna be your man in motion
All I need’s this pair of wheels
Take me where the future’s lyin’
St. Elmo’s Fire, ooh

Burnin’ up
Don’t know just how far that I can go (Just how far I go)
Soon be home
Only just a few miles down the road

I can make it
I know I can
You broke the boy in me
But you won’t break the man

I can see a new horizon
Underneath the blazin’ sky
I’ll be where the eagle’s flyin’
Higher and higher

Gonna be your man in motion
All I need’s this pair of wheels
Take me where my future’s lyin’
St. Elmo’s Fire

I can climb the highest mountain
Cross the wildest sea
I can feel St. Elmo’s Fire
Burnin’ in me, burnin’ in me

Just once in his life
A man has his time
And my time is now
I’m comin’ alive

I can hear the music playin’
I can see the banners fly
Feel like your man again
And hope ridin’ high

Gonna be your man in motion
All I need’s this pair of wheels
Take me where my future’s lyin’
St. Elmo’s Fire

I can see a new horizon
Underneath the blazin’ sky
I’ll be where the eagle’s flyin’
Higher and higher

Gonna be your man in motion
All I need’s this pair of wheels
Take me where the future’s lyin’
St. Elmo’s Fire

I can climb the highest mountain
Cross the wildest sea
I can feel St. Elmo’s Fire burnin’ in me

Burnin’
Burnin’ in me
I can feel it burnin’
Ooh, burnin’ inside of me

c – 1984 Jon Stephen Parr

Hoping this is on the horizon today!

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The weather is very sunny today but still really cold.

Nevertheless, my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man and I decided yesterday to go out for sashimi & sake today. Now that his private nurse is gone, he hasn’t been out for lunch since he and I went to the golf course last Friday.

When I’m around him, it’s easy to get my energy into a good place and keep things upbeat and happy, so I’m looking forward to going out with him today if he feels up to it. But I have to say, gang, that on a deep level, it feels to me like everything has changed.

The feeling of loss is like a blanket over everything in that house now. He knows something is missing but he doesn’t know what. He also knows that something big in his life has changed forever. He doesn’t remember his private nurse’s name, or who she was, or anything like that — he only knows that there was a girl who used to come see him but that she had to go to the hospital.

His daughter is going to tell him everything when she sees him in person, tomorrow.

Since his daughter has been texting me the last couple of days about her upcoming trip, I finally decided to just text her this morning and ask her if she’s planning to put her dad into a nursing home soon. I want to start getting the hanging flower baskets for his back deck, but it’s a lot of money to spend if he won’t be there much longer.

We’ll see what she replies. But I’m thinking that I already know what she’s going to say.

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On a happier front…

It looks like Rasha’s mom and her little baby will be staying here, to take care of Rasha and all the other cats, while I’m in NYC.

This is such a relief to me. I’ve been worried that all these cats now — including Rasha, who is still unwell — will be too much for my birth mom to really handle, even though she’s happy to do it. (My birth mom is 79 now.)

I feel so much better about this arrangement, though. Because the girl knows full well that Rasha is sick, since Rasha is her cat. It’s not going to be any sort of unhappy surprise for her.

And I also talked to a friend of mine yesterday about her and her husband staying here the last weekend of September, when I go to North Carolina for James Tabor’s conference thingie. They had offered to cat-sit before, so she’s thinking they probably will.

And by September, Rasha’s mom should be in her own place and able to take Rasha back. So that is potentially another huge relief.

Now all I want is for my birth mom to just come out here and visit for a few days, just to hang out again. To smoke and drink beer (her, not me).

What I would really like her to do at this point is answer her phone... she’s not a really big phone-answering kinda gal.

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Anyway.

So there’s good stuff going on and sad stuff going on. But meanwhile, here’s this!

If you’re too young to know that Patti Hansen used to be not only a top super model in the late 70s, early 80s, she also had a reputation for being a real party girl!! (To me, she always just seemed like a down-to-earth girl from Staten Island.) It did not surprise me a bit that Keith fell in love with her.

Anyway! Here they are in 1981, and Patti does not seem to be in any way intoxicated!!

And here’s this!

Keith smoking in 1972, maybe overdoing the guitar thing a little bit…

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And here’s this!

Nick Cave!

I’m thinking “just out of the shower” but not 100% sure:

I’m also thinking the reason my really cool Tom Petty zippo lighter has not arrived yet is because they sent it to Nick Cave!! (Not 100% sure on that, either, just thinkin’…)

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And that’s it.

I guess I better get moving here and plan on having a great day, come what may!

Enjoy your Saturday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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Let’s close with this!

Something else that reminds me of the old New York…with the old skyline and everything.

“The Critic” is also free now on Tubi!! I loved this show. I’d forgotten all about it! (From 1994-95.) Enjoy, gang.

So this is where THAT’S going

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A grey Tuesday morning here in the Hinterlands. It’s supposed to get sunny later. We’ll see.

But my overall mood — I’m really battling an entire brain full of grey rain.

Yesterday afternoon, my wonderful day off came to a screeching halt when I got a phone call from Seattle. It was my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man’s daughter. She has never called me before — she rarely even texts me. She had awful news — and she was just as shocked by the news as I was.

Her dad’s private nurse — who has been with the family for 6 or 7 years now (she was the private nurse for his 2nd wife when she got ill), and who has had “health problems” for the last week or so, is dying.

As in — in hospice already, in a coma, with only a few days left to live.

I had no clue she had cancer. She’s about 20 years younger than me, and always seemed full of energy and life.

So, not only am I stunned that I will never see or speak to her again, but it also sounds like I’m going to be needed to pick up more responsibilities — time-wise — with my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man, and even though he matters so much to me, I am just not prepared to take on anything else. I’ve been aiming all my energy and attention at the writing projects.

We shall see.

I immediately called my supervisor at the Agency yesterday and asked her to please start lining up some additional caregivers for him. But since this is catching us all out of the blue, I might have to pick up some extra hours until the schedules can be arranged. I will find out more later today. But I have been praying, gang, that they find people right away, even though, obviously if they need me, I won’t say no.

The daughter is flying in from Seattle on Sunday, just for 2 days, and she hopes to take her dad to say goodbye to the nurse, if she is still alive by then.

I’m also worried that with the nurse gone now, and since she oversaw his meds, his doctor appointments, his trips to the barber, his lawncare service, etc., there’s even more reasons for the daughter to put him in a nursing home now.

I’m really trying to just sort of ignore everything I’m feeling and just see where everything falls. I think it’s called avoidance, but it’s almost the best I can do right now.

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Meanwhile, before I forget.

A continued thank-you to everyone who is buying 1954 Powder Blue Pickup.

After all these years of watching it sort of float out there in limbo, it really makes me feel so happy to see people have access to it again.

If you missed my post yesterday, I believe the eBook edition is free to download all this week, with or without Kindle Unlimited.

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That’s really kind of it for my brain right now, so here are few “here’s this’s”.

The beautiful Charlie Watts at Villa Nellcote in 1971, during the recording of an album that certainly changed my 12-year-old life forever: Exile On Main St.

And I’m not kidding you when I say that I actually have the very same creamer that’s on the table there. It’s by Johnson Brothers/Wedgewood Group. Back then, the dishes were made in England. (I have the whole set, service for 8.) (I’m a dish-a-holic, if you’re new to the blog. I live alone and yet have more fine china than you can possibly imagine.)

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A very early shot of Keith! 1963:

And then a few years later… he switched out wearing the watch for a pair of handcuffs:

And here’s Keith with Robbie Shakespeare and Sly Dunbar, the greatest reggae rhythm duo that ever lived:

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Oh!

Here’s Cuddles McGee this morning, looking out the bedroom window:

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And some more wonderful old photos of Nick Cave.

A multi-patterned Nick in London, 1989:

I don’t know where or when or photo-by-whom, but I love this:

And this one is by Mike Owen:

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And that’s it for now.

My best friend Valerie in Brooklyn and I had a great phone chat yesterday — before the call from Seattle came in.

We are aiming to start the mini-podcast of “Marilyn’s Room” in mid-May. And we’re hoping to have 2 if not 3 episodes out there before I leave for NYC in mid-June. We might even try to do a mini-podcast from my hotel room in NYC, or someplace where we can be in the same room together while we tape it.

That’s the plan, anyway. (And wow, did she tell me a really fun story from the early 80s that she’d never told me about!!! It involved Debbie Harry!!)

So even though I’ve known Val since 1983, there are still great stories for me to hear, too!

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Okay.

I gotta put on my “I’m happy and here to help you” face and scoot to town to see my clients for today.

Have a terrific Tuesday, wherever you are in the world, gang.

Thanks for visiting. (And for buying my books. It means so much to me.)

I love you guys. See ya!

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Let’s close with this.

The awesome Debbie Harry, onstage with Blondie — 1978!

“One Way or Another”. Enjoy, gang.

Brain Starting to Function!!

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I’ve been having a really nice morning out here in the Hinterlands, and now my brain is actually putting in an appearance, too!

So it should be a nice day-off.

Yay!

Before I forget — it looks like the eBook edition of 1954 Powder Blue Pickup is totally FREE to download this week, with or without Kindle Unlimited. The link is HERE.

And that said — a continued thank you to all of you who have continued to purchase the book!! I just appreciate it so much.

I was actually glancing through the book last night for the first time in a few years, and I just want to say that I don’t remember writing all that filthy dirty stuff!!!

Actually, I do remember.

I remember every moment of it because the Muse was in high gear throughout the writing of that book. (I originally wrote it for Black Lotus Books, and they designed the cover, which I love. But the company soon closed down when they couldn’t get a distributor.)

Anyway, whenever I’m working on a novel, I always have an unlit, unfiltered cigarette in my mouth — usually a Pall Mall, because they are the closest thing to a Chesterfield that is still in circulation.

I haven’t smoked a lit cigarette in about 16 years. Luckily, I never had a real smoking habit. I was what was called a “social smoker” — I smoked when cocktails or wine were lurking about.

Anyway, I remember NOT smoking an entire pack of unfiltered Pall Malls while writing 1954 Powder Blue Pickup (whenever a cigarette got too soggy, I tossed it out) and I remember the Muse being a sort of palpable presence throughout that book. Which is the very best feeling when you’re trying to write something under a deadline.

All these years later, though — skimming through it last night. Man. Non-stop sexual shenanigans!!

ME (thinking): “Christ! Did I really go there??”

Yes, I really did.

What’s in those Pall Malls?!

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Okay!

Since it’s my day-off, I’ve got a load of laundry going. And at some point, I need to walk over to the dollar store and buy a can of coffee.

I usually buy hoity-toity fairtrade coffee from somewhere in Central America that “is characterized by balanced acidity, distinct tasting notes (chocolate, nutty, fruit), and a clean finish”, etc., etc.

But I ran out this morning. I guess my brain was elsewhere when I did the grocery shopping in town on Friday. And I absolutely need my coffee in the mornings, so I’m not going to get picky. (The dollar store actually has an interesting brand of coffee from Vietnam. It tastes, well, interesting.)

Other than that, despite living in a veritable cat sanctuary these days, I am hoping to have a totally relaxing day. And I really hope it includes finally completing that short story that STILL only needs about 400 more words… we shall see.

Not me! Since this gal appears to be smoking a lit pencil…

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This just in!!

Ronnie Wood has added a show in Barcelona on Saturday, September 12th! Buy tickets HERE!

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And this also just in!

“The Original Series Soundtrack for Jo Nesbo’s Detective Hole by Nick Cave & Warren Ellis is out now on digital and streaming services.”

You can LISTEN NOW!

I have already added it to my library on Amazon Music, but haven’t listened yet.

Even though the series is streaming now on Netflix, when I read stuff like this:

“We loved working on this adaptation – Harry Hole’s murky, morally complex world has been brought to life in all its darkly brutal glory, and it was an honour to work with the legendary Jo Nesbø.“ – Nick Cave

Methinks that I will likely be skipping the series itself. Just gonna listen to the music part.

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Which sort of reminds me — I’m really loving the Czech documentary about Libuse Jarcovjakova on Metrograph, “I’m Not Everything I Want To Be” (2024):

“In Soviet-occupied Prague, a young female photographer embraces wild nights of rebellion, desire, and resistance to conformity. Through thousands of her raw and candid photographs and personal diaries, I’M NOT EVERYTHING I WANT TO BE traces her twenty-year quest for freedom and self-acceptance.”

I started watching it last night, but since it’s all in subtitles, my eyes kinda wore out, but I’m hoping to finish it tonight.

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And meanwhile–

Here’s this!!

A lovely photo of George Harrison, almost smiling in Los Angeles:

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And a few of Keith!!

Keith, with a guitar, smoking. I don’t know where or when:

Keith, with a guitar, not smoking, I don’t know where or when, but it probably only lasted a minute — the not-smoking part, I mean:

And Keith, not smoking with his dog, his Bentley, probably London, probably 1966, etc.:

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And last but certainly in no way least!!!

Nick Cave!! Smoking and multi-tasking onstage in Melbourne, 1990!!

And here’s this upbeat little ditty. Excuse me, here’s the above-mentioned song!

“The Carny”

And no-one saw the carny go
And the weeks flew by
Until they moved on the show
Leaving his caravan behind
It was parked out on the south east ridge
And as the company crossed the bridge
With the first rain filling the bone-dry river bed
It shone, just so, upon the edge
Away, away, we’re sad, they said

Dog-boy, atlas, half-man, the geeks, the hired hands
There was not one among them that did not cast an eye behind
In the hope that the carny would return to his own kind
And the carny had a horse, all skin and bone
A bow-backed nag, that he named “Sorrow”
Now it is buried in a shallow grave
In the then parched meadow

And the dwarves were given the task of digging the ditch
And laying the nag’s carcass in the ground
And boss Bellini, waving his smoking pistol around
Saying, “The nag is dead meat”
“We can’t afford to carry dead weight”
The whole company standing about
Not making a sound
And turning to dwarves perched on the enclosure gate
The boss says “Bury this lump of crow bait”

And then the rain came hammering down
Everybody running for their wagons
Tying all the canvas flaps down
The mangy cats growling in their cages
The bird-girl flapping and squawking around
The whole valley reeking of wet beast
Wet beast and rotten hay
Freak and brute creation
Packed up and on their way

The three dwarves peering from their wagon’s hind
Moses says to Noah “We shoulda dugga deepa one”
Their grizzled faces like dying moons
Still dirty from the digging done
And Charlie, the eldest of the three, said
“I guess the carny ain’t gonna show”
And they were silent for a spell
Wishing they’d done a better job of burying Sorrow

And as the company passed from the valley
Into higher ground
The rain beat on the ridge and on the meadow
And on the mound
Until nothing was left, nothing at all
Except the body of Sorrow
That rose in time
To float upon the surface of the eaten soil

And a murder of crows did circle round
First one, then the others flapping blackly down
And the carny’s van still sat upon the edge
Tilting slowly as the firm ground turned to sludge
And the rain it hammered down
And no-one saw the carny go
I say it’s funny how things go

c – 1986 – Nick Cave

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And I believe that is it!

Have a great Monday, wherever you are in the world!!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

************

I leave you with this!

Late-night listening music!!

I just love this song, gang.

From Tom Petty’s first solo album, Full Moon Fever — which recently turned 37 years old!!

“A Face in the Crowd,” 1989. The original official video. Enjoy, gang.

“A Face In The Crowd”

Before all of this ever went down
In another place, another town

You were just a face in the crowd
You were just a face in the crowd
Out in the street, walking around
A face in the crowd

Out of a dream, out of the sky
Into my heart, into my life

And you were just a face in the crowd
You were just a face in the crowd
Out in the street, thinking out loud
A face in the crowd

Out of a dream, out of the sky
Into my heart, into my life

And you were just a face in the crowd
You were just a face in the crowd
Out in the street, walking around
A face in the crowd

A face in the crowd
A face in the crowd
A face in the crowd

c – 1989 Tom Petty

I wish Sunday morning went on all day!!

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It’s not raining here, but it’s really grey and cool, and since it’s Sunday, it makes me feel like just being lazy all day.

Here were some of us being lazy about an hour ago — Freddie and Calico snuggling against my legs, on the bed; Cuddles McGee on the corner of my desk:

And here’s a couple of the things we were listening to while I had my coffee (in bed):

These hymns startled the cats because usually they prefer rock & roll…. so I switched back over to rock & roll!

Anyway.

The lawncare guy has already been here and my lawn looks great!! (He got here at 8:15AM. I’m curious if my neighbors appreciated that…)

And my Sunday shift with the retired Minister and his lovely wife and cat starts earlier now, so I don’t really have time to just hang out and do nothing…

So I’m up, and dressed (after being awake for 5 hours) and now here I am.

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If you saw my post from late yesterday afternoon, you know that yesterday was a really great day.

My trip to NYC is set. And my books are selling on Amazon!!

Plus, my shift with my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man was just terrific. About 5 minutes after I got there yesterday, he was up and dressed — had his wooden leg on, his hearing aides in, his glasses on, his teeth in and he had even made his bed. He was still beaming and just so happy from our trip to the golf course on Friday. He made his way into the kitchen and said: ‘Thank you so much for that beautiful trip yesterday!”

He brought it up many times during my shift. It had made him so happy.

I find it so interesting, how he can remember our trips there so well, when he has almost no short term memory. Clearly, when he’s completely engaged in something, his mind connects. (He always remembers when we go out for sashimi & sake, too. And he remembers that I get off the freeway whenever possible and take the backroads, which are so beautiful. He always says: “You are the only one who takes me on this road. I love this road.” I love it, too.)

Anyway. We had another really great afternoon yesterday, just hanging out and chatting in his living room. He was thoroughly engaged.

Several times during the afternoon, he sang me the chorus of “You Are My Sunshine.” (So, yes — the thought of this man stuck a nursing home with no visitors, just waiting to die, breaks my heart. I have not heard anything more from his daughter, but she communicates through the private nurse, who has been really sick this past week.)

Obviously, I’m hoping his daughter will change her mind. But if he does get put away, I can’t imagine not visiting him all the time. And where I would find the time to do that, who knows…

Some neighbors are taking him to a guitar concert tonight in Granville. His neighbors all adore him, too. He is going to love that concert.

Just some random Japanese guy, 72 years ago…

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Since I get home earlier now on Sundays, this evening I’m planning on watching this on Metrograph:

I’m Not Everything I Want to Be (Directed by Klára Tasovská, 90- mins, 2024):

“Oft referred to as the Nan Goldin of Czechoslovakia, Libuše Jarcovjáková chronicled after-dark Prague in the 1970s and ’80s, her photographs of let-it-all-hang-out gay clubs, factory hands working the third shift, and clandestine parties giving a picture of communist-era Czechoslovakia very different from the official one. Klára Tasovská’s candid and compelling documentary provides Jarcovjáková with a platform to tell her story: that of one woman’s tireless search for liberation in an era of state repression.”

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And a slight, though none-the-less cryptic update regarding the streamer channel, BET+, closing down in June — a few of their shows have moved over to Paramount+, and Sandra will be shooting another episode of “The Miss Pat Show” with them in late June — and having a “discussion” with a couple of the producers who have seen our TV proposal and who also moved over to Paramount+….

So I’m extremely, well, interested.

However, this also means that when I’m in NYC in mid-June, I will be able to focus on just hangin’ out in NYC and seeing old friends (we’ll be working on the play later in the summer):

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Okay!

Here’s this!

A triple-play!! And of course, it’s from Phyllis Stein!

Patti, Bob –and Keith!! At the Bitter End in Greenwich Village, 1975!! (And I played on that same stage in the early 1980s, gang. What a history that stage had!! It was so cool.)

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This next one was very long but very informative and had a few photos. But here is the main gist:

Gram Parsons at Harvard in 1965:

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Which, of course, leads to Keith!

I liked these photos because they were just sort of a little strange — Keith, staring at something:

And Keith and Mick backstage in 1972 — on the phone??

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And I loved these!

Two photos of Nick Cave and Blixa Bargeld in Japan in November, 1985. Photos by Midori Tsukagoshi:

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And I believe that is it for now!

I’m going to do a little yoga and then get ready for my drive to town!

Have a great Sunday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

************

This is what the cats insisted on listening to after the Sunday-hymn-singing was over!!

A few great ones by The Kinks!

I have narrowed it down to the 2 that they seemed to like best!! (And it turned out they were also long-time favorites of mine!)

From 1981, “Better Things,” from the album, Give the People What They Want:

“Better Things”

Here’s wishing you the bluest sky
And hoping something better comes tomorrow
Hoping all the verses rhyme
And the very best of choruses to
Follow all the doubt and sadness
I know that better things are on the way

Here’s hoping all the days ahead
Won’t be as bitter as the ones behind you
Be an optimist instead
And somehow happiness will find you
Forget what happened yesterday
I know that better things are on the way

It’s really good to see you rocking out and having fun
Living like you just begun
Accept your life and what it brings
I hope tomorrow you’ll find better things
I know tomorrow you’ll find better things

Here’s wishing you the bluest sky
And hoping something better comes tomorrow
Hoping all the verses rhyme
And the very best of choruses to
Follow all the doubt and sadness
I know that better things are on the way

I know you’ve got a lot of good things happening up ahead
The past is gone, it’s all been said
So here’s to what the future brings
I know tomorrow you’ll find better things
I know tomorrow you’ll find better things
I hope tomorrow you’ll find better things
I know tomorrow you’ll find better things

c – 1981 – Ray Davies

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And from 1983, “Come Dancing,” from the album, State of Confusion. Enjoy, gang!!

“Come Dancing”

They put a parking lot on a piece of land
Where the supermarket used to stand
Before that they put up a bowling alley
On the site that used to be the local Palais
That’s where the big bands used to come and play
My sister went there on a Saturday

Come dancing
All her boyfriends used to come and call
Why not come dancing?
It’s only natural

Another Saturday, another date
She would be ready but she’s always make them wait
In the hallway in anticipation
He didn’t know the night would end up in frustration
He’d end up blowing all his wages for the week
All for a cuddle and a peck on the cheek

Come dancing
That’s how they did it when I was just a kid
And when they said come dancing
My sister always did

My sister should have come in at midnight
And my mum would always sit up and wait
It always ended up in a big row
When my sister used to get home late

Out of my window I can see them in the moonlight
Two silhouettes saying goodnight by the garden gate

The day they knocked down the Palais
My sister stood and cried
The day they knocked down the Palais
Part of my childhood died, just died

Now I’m grown up and playing in a band
And there’s a car park where the Palais used to stand
My sister’s married and she lives on an estate
Her daughters go out, now it’s her turn to wait
She knows they get away with things she never could
But if I asked her I wonder if she would

Come dancing
Come on, sister, have yourself a ball
Don’t be afraid to come dancing
It’s only natural

Come dancing
Just like the Palais on a Saturday
And all her friends will come dancing
Where the big bands used to play

c – 1983 – Ray Davies

Wow, gang

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The official Press Release for The Curse of Our Profound Disorder went out over the weekend and I am absolutely thrilled with the results thus far.

The book doesn’t officially come out for 5 more months, so I will keep you posted with how the PR goes as the month of August winds down.

But as of right now, I couldn’t be happier. It got picked up by a few press wires in the UK and a bunch in the US.

And from there, it even got picked up by the Cincinnati Enquirer! (If my dad were still alive — he lived in Cincinnati — he would have been really thrilled.) (Yes, the very same city where I absolutely hated going to college — I dropped out after the first quarter — was the very first significant site to pick up the press release for my new book!!) (Makes having gone to college there for 3 agonizing months totally worth it!!)

Me! In college! Just add copious amounts of bisexual sex… yes, 1978 looked good on me!

I find this next part very interesting — today, if you enter my name and the book’s title into Google, the AI description absolutely nails the fucking book! It astounds me. Because, you know, no one has read the book yet. Just me, Wayne, and the publisher — Valerie hasn’t finished reading it yet. Review copies have not gone out anywhere.

Here is the Google AI description, in part:

Key aspects of the novel:
Protagonist: Jemima Callahan, who is born to a teen mother and is the illegitimate daughter of a town preacher. 

Plot: Chronicles Jemima's journey from a troubled childhood with abuse in foster care to her life as a young woman surviving on the streets, and eventually finding a new direction. 

Themes: Coming-of-age, trauma, identity, generational pain, survival, and societal taboos, particularly around sexuality. 

Central conflict: Jemima's search for her father, Reverend Parker Peabody, and the hope that he will live up to the idealized image her mother created.

I’m really just happily amazed by the whole process. I am so glad I hired that PR firm.

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Okay, for some reason, I am getting a really late start here this morning, although the second load of laundry is already underway.

It is, of course, my day off. And the first day off wherein ALL workmen and repair guys have completed all the upgrades to This Old House (& barn) and so the day is completely and utterly mine.

And it is a gorgeous day here, although it is really cold. I had to cover up the rose bushes last night so that the frost wouldn’t kill them.

Anyway, I’m not sure why my brain seems to be lagging here this morning, but I am hoping (really) to get some writing done today. I still have that one short story that needs about 400 words before it is complete.

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Anyway–

Here’s this!

Piccadilly Circus, in London, as it looked in the mid-1970s!

This was exactly how it looked when I made my first trip to London, in 1976. And yes! I was 16. And yes — since it was the 1970s, why wouldn’t I have had copious amounts of booze and then some sex with a Greek taxi driver in his taxi, late in the August evening, just off of Piccadilly Circus??? While my mom was waiting back at the Kensington Hotel…

(I am absolutely not kidding you, gang — if you weren’t alive in the 1970s, you just wouldn’t understand this! Anyway…)

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And here’s this!

I have no idea how he got his hair to do this, but I’m guessing he encountered electricity in some way?

Warren Ellis, end of tour!!

Warren, saying goodbye to that room with the view…

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And here’s this!

The last known photo of George Harrison and John Lennon together — in Los Angeles, in the mid 70s:

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And here’s Keith!!

Having no problems in NYC in 1988! (Press promo for his first solo album, Talk Is Cheap.)

Photo by Timothy White

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Here’s Keith again. Only with Mick, in 1967! Just sort of hanging out, I guess.

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And here are these!!

Two more classics of Nick Cave!!

Nick, not smoking while wearing shades and standing near a peace lily!

Nick, smoking, while not wearing shades and not standing near a peace lily!

I could stare at this photo all the fucking time, but I’m already having enough trouble getting anything fucking done around here…

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And with that!!

I guess I will get back to that laundry now, maybe do some vacuuming, and then focus on some short story writing!!

I hope you have a great Monday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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I leave you with more breakfast-listening music!

Still have the Best of Sam Cooke CD in the kitchen juke box!

I love this song. It is so “yesteryear”! I find it sort of addicting, it just feels so nice and so non-threatening.

“Having A Party”. Sam Cooke. 1962. Enjoy, gang.

“Having A Party”

We’re having a party
dancing to the music
played by the DJ
on the radio
the cokes are in the icebox
the popcorn’s on the table
me and my baby, we’re out here on the floor

So listen, Mr. DJ
keep those records playing
’cause I’m having such a good time
dancing with my baby

Everybody’s swinging
Sally’s doing that twist now
if you take request, I….
I got a few for you
play that song called Soul Twist
play that one called I Know
don’t forget the Mashed Potatoes
no other songs will do

Let me tell you Mr., Mr. DJ
why don’t you keep those records playing
’cause I’m having such a good time
dancing with my baby

Having a party–yeah
everybody’s swinging–oh we’re
dancing to the music–yeah
on the radio–oh we’re
having a party–man
everybody’s swinging–yeah
dancing to the music–yeah
on the radio–say it one more time

We’re having a party–yeah
everybody’s swinging–oh we’re
dancing to the music–yeah
on the radio (song fades and ends)

c- 1962 – Sam Cooke

A glorious day!

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Yes, even though the TV weatherman up in Columbus on Tuesday, said that today was going to be a rainy, lousy day, I stood firm in my conviction that the weatherman didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about and that it was going to be gorgeous today, and I was correct!!

It is just stunning out there this morning. And all the dogwood trees are in bloom (including the ancient one outside my kitchen window), and all the other trees have their baby “spring-green” leaves. No wind today, either!! And the sky is so blue.

Today, of course, is the day that my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man and I go to the golf course to have lunch at the incredible clubhouse with the stunning views! (Photos don’t actually come close to capturing how it feels to walk into this dining room and see miles and miles of trees and rolling foothills and sky, sky, sky!)

It is in honor of today being the day that both his 2nd wife (the love of his life), and my dad passed away (in different years). We are expecting the pleasure of their company, in spirit, at the clubhouse today!!

And the last time we were there (Christmas), I was expecting it to be our final time there together, because I was planning on retiring in January.

Today, will be a wee bit intense for me because, if my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man’s daughter does indeed stick him in that awful nursing home, this could likely really be our last time at that lovely place together. But I am going to just try to make it the best day, ever. Because being present today, here & now, is all that ever really matters.

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Okay!

Well, my best friend Valerie in Brooklyn and I finally had a chance to catch up on the phone yesterday afternoon!

We are trying to brainstorm (can you “try” to brainstorm, or do you simply brainstorm?) about the best way to structure our upcoming mini-podcast, “Marilyn’s Room”. My writing, her paintings. And then just chat for a few minutes — probably about the free & unbridled years of living in NYC in the 1980s!!

SHE (under her breath): “When I was selling cocaine to absolutely everyone who worked at the Museum of Modern Art…well, maybe I shouldn’t bring that up.”

ME (enthusiastically): “No, no! Bring it up!! Just don’t name any names. But it was 40 years ago already. Most of those folks probably aren’t even alive anymore.”

So it could be entertaining and very, very informative!!

Just don’t expect any make-up or fancy hairdos, gang. The use of a comb is likely going to be the extent of the glamor…(Our minds are still really glamorous, though, and I think that’s the best part of aging gracefully. We shall soon see!)

We’re also thinking, though, that if anyone out there has their own writing or art to promote and wants to chat for 10 minutes, we can have “guests”!!

So keep that in mind, gang. (And don’t name names, for godssakes, but do “elude” in enough detail that we can figure out who you’re referring to on our own!!)

*********

All righty!

From Variety yesterday:

“Johnny Depp Earns Huge CinemaCon Applause and Debuts Scrooge Transformation in ‘A Christmas Carol’ First Footage“

Photo by Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images

“…Paramount debuted a first-look at the Yuletide release during its presentation to movie theater owners at CinemaCon on Thursday, with Depp taking the stage in Las Vegas.

“Depp entered The Colosseum at Caesar’s Palace to wild applause and catcalls from the rafters. ‘It really has been an extraordinary privilege,’ Depp said on stage, about being asked by director Ti West to take on the role, calling the tale of Scrooge one ‘I have been obsessed with since I was a little child.'”

However, this part here makes me think I might not be seeing this in a movie theater, where I can’t fast-forward through anything:

“…as the ghosts who visit Depp’s Scrooge are intricate, terrifying apparitions not suitable for the whole family.”

Yikes. I am my whole family! Anyway. The complete article is HERE.

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And from Ronnie Wood:

You can pre-order his new print, D’Orsay Blue Horse, at a special price before April 24th and also get a free, green “Wild Horses” t-shirt!!

See details and order HERE.

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I love this photo of Keith!! (I printed it out and it went right on to my wall!!)

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And here’s this!!

Nick Cave smoking at his mom’s house! (He might also be drinking a cup of tea, but I’m not 100% certain about that…)

Photo by Andrew Southam

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And I actually have more “here’s this’s” for today, but I’m out of time!

I gotta scoot and head to town on this absolutely gorgeous day.

Have a great Friday, wherever you are in the world, gang!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

**********

Through some blessing and/or miracle, the chorus to this song was going through my head when I awoke at 3:45AM, trying hard not to think about this being the 2nd anniversary of my dad’s death because I just don’t want to be sad today.

I do think there was some type of angelic interference because I have not so much as thought of this song — let alone sang the chorus to it over and over in my head upon awakening — in ages.

“Everything Is Beautiful”, 1970. Ray Stevens. Enjoy, gang.

You guessed it! Absolutely NOT me!

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I’m really trying though, gang. To find that inner peace this morning.

And yesterday was a very good day with my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man. I’m hoping today will be the same. (See yesterday’s post.)

Yesterday, we went out for sashimi and sake, and a strange thing happened when the fortune cookies arrived. We both got the same fortune — but his had a typo in it:

When I got to his house yesterday morning, before I woke him, I set out a really cool old photo of his dad, from 1957. Small. About 5 x 7. It’s in a lovely old frame, too. I set it on the small table next to his recliner.

I found the photo in his dining room, but it was stuck back behind a bunch of larger photos, so you couldn’t even see it.

Anyway. When he discovered this photo next to his chair, it absolutely delighted him. (His dad is 88 years old in the photo. His dad was 60 years old when my favorite Japanese man was born.)

Honestly, this photo made his day. He kept holding it and staring at it. (If I remember, I’ll try to get a photo of the photo today and post it here. His dad is standing on the front porch of that house he designed that is a House Museum in Tokyo now.)

I also told him that next Friday is supposed to be a really gorgeous Spring day. And since the trees everywhere are now getting their bright green leaves that he loves, the views at the clubhouse at the golf course should be beautiful.

But it’s also going to be April 17th next Friday. And I reminded him that both his second wife (the love of his life) and my dad died on April 17th (several years apart). So I suggested we go have lunch at the golf course in honor of that — and that most likely the Spirits of his wife and my dad will join us for lunch.

This idea basically overwhelmed him with joy.

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All righty.

From the RollingStonesBrasil channel a few minutes ago on Instagram. This is in translation mode:

There was also a very, very short audio snippet from the new Stones single posted to “the Cockroaches” WhatsApp but now I can’t find it! But it sounded really good — even though it was only about 5 seconds.

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Okay!!

The print edition of my 2011 novel, Twilight of the Immortal is indeed back in print, at least on Amazon.

This is the same edition that had been up there for, I guess, 15 years, but for some reason, had suddenly un-published itself when I republished the eBook edition. Anyway. It’s back. But it is a little cheaper now: $15 plus shipping.

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And here’s a curious — but really nice — thing.

In the 15 years that I have been self-publishing, my best friend Valerie in Brooklyn has designed a lot of my book covers (including the one above, based on a photo of the Silent Film actress, Bebe Daniels, in 1921).

But for whatever reason, Valerie hasn’t actually read most of my books. And this goes way back to the beginning of my career in short story & fiction publishing — 1988. (Valerie and I have known each other, in every sense of the word, since 1982.)

I had asked her recently (“begged” is probably a better word) to please read The Curse of Our Profound Disorder, because I wanted to enter it into literary contests and I couldn’t figure out what category it goes in. I had sent her the Word file for it several months ago, but she never read it.

So she promised to read it and, last evening, she sent a text saying, in part: “Wow, Emmy!! The writing is incredible!!”

That made me feel incredible.

So yesterday was a pretty okay day, on many levels.

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Okay.

Here’s this.

George Harrison doing his Krishna thing:

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And from Dana Petty, posted late last night. (And according to old interviews with Tom, Dana — his second wife! — was also the love of his life. He adored that woman so much. They married after she helped him quit heroin.)

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And here’s this!

The Ramones. No explanation needed.

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And here’s this!

Johnny Thunders. Probably no explanation needed here, either.

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And here’s this from my private desktop stash. Just because my soul needed this kind of inspiration this morning.

Nick Cave. I don’t remember when, where, or photo-by-whom. I just love it.

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And that is it for now.

Tomorrow, I’m taking the day off because I’m taking that screenwriting webinar in the late afternoon. So that means 2 days off in a row again. Yay! (However, an “AC install fire drill” is scheduled to happen on Monday at 8AM…)

At some point, I will also be catching up with Sandra to see where we’re at with (all 3 of) our current projects (TV, theater, movie). (I’m guessing that she will call as soon as the AC install guys actually show up…)

Meanwhile, enjoy your Saturday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya.

************

Let’s close with this. Just because it suits my mood.

Me. Song written in 1984. Demo from 1994. Enjoy, gang.

Mother with the Gun

It’s been so long
Since I held my man
In my arms without a fire in my head;
It’s been so long
Since I laid with him
Side by side without the rage of one regret.

CHORUS I
I had this dream that I took all I could take
Pulled a .38 and blew my man away
And both our kids had seen
What I had done
And the Press called me the ‘Mother with the Gun.’

It’s been so long
Since I earned my pay
Without feeling I’d been chained down 
to the ground;
It’s been so long
Since I made my way
Sure and proud without
The shame of kneeling down.

CHORUS II
I had this dream that I took all I could take
Pulled a .38 and blew my boss away
And both my kids had seen
What I had done
And the Press called me the ‘Mother with the Gun.’

It’s been so long, now
Since I’ve been old enough
I’ve got the wisdom that you get
From bearing pain;
But now my kids it seems
Just make the same mistakes;
Will I sit back and watch it
All go down again?

CHORUS III
I had this dream that I took all I could take
I called an agency and gave my kids away
I signed a paper to ensure we’d stay apart
And the Man called me the mother with no heart.
I had this dream that I took all I could take
And I woke up this morning feeling far away
And there’s a man fading with the setting sun
His voice is shouting, “Come on, lady, drop the gun…”

© 1984 Marilyn Jaye Lewis
First of May Songs, BMI

Happy Easter! Happy Birthday!!

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For some inexplicable reason, I slept in until 5:38AM today!!

And of all the mornings to oversleep — the kittens’ birthday today and Easter Sunday!

But a good time was had by all. The Happy Birthday breakfast (or “Happy Easter”, if you didn’t turn 1 today!):

4 out of the 6 pictured here have a birthday today!
And it’s Billie Jo’s birthday today, too, but she likes to eat off by herself in the family room, so that other ravenous cats don’t steal her food! (She’s the one who was born without her 2 back feet.)

And apparently my 14-year-old cats, who had birthdays on St. Patrick’s Day and who spend most of their time in the guest bedroom upstairs, liked their Easter breakfast just fine!!

And then the birthday toys came out in the kitchen!

And Kon Tiki and 3 of her furry friends joined us for Easter breakfast today, out on the kitchen porch. In the dark. Serenaded by a bunch of singing birds — and the sound filled the whole village.

We also had a wonderful — and really big!! — ‘possum join us for breakfast out there, too!

All before the sun came up.

And oddly enough, even after oversleeping, I’m still exhausted! Cannot imagine why…

But it was a beautiful morning.

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And Happy Easter, if you celebrate it, gang.

James Tabor re-posted this last night. It’s difficult to listen to, if you are sort of viscerally attached to Jesus of Nazareth, the man (as I am). But it’s worth watching because of all the archeological /historical stuff. (And by “Mafia”, Tabor is referring here to the family of High Priests in Jerusalem at that time, who were hellbent on first mortifying and then executing Jesus.)

Jesus Archaeology # 13 Killing Jesus–The Mafia Backstory (29 mins):

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Yesterday was strange.

My favorite 95-year-old Japanese man’s week-long visit with his daughter was a success. But by yesterday, I knew he was exhausted and was very patiently waiting for it to be over. (She flew back home late yesterday afternoon.)

He even said as much to me — that he wanted her to go — when he and I were alone in his bedroom.

I found that part to be sort of astonishing, since his brain doesn’t work too great in the “here & now”. Yet he had enough mental faculties to express himself to me very quietly, without being rude to his daughter.

The problem was that he doesn’t like people to clean his house and his daughter would not stop cleaning. She cleaned EVERYTHING. All week long.

I understood where she was coming from emotionally, and she knew that all the cleaning was upsetting her dad, but she felt compelled to “take care of him”, in that sense.

Yesterday sort of reached the pinnacle, since it was her last day. And I spent my entire shift being cheerful and chatty and patient and supportive with each of them — trying to balance the energy between those two so that everything would stay peaceful.

Plus, she had confided in me that she is enrolling him in Hospice now, which is of course her decision and I understand why it makes sense to her, but it was really startling to me. (I’ve been with him several days a week for the past 18 months; his physical health is perfect. )

Anyway.

It was a relief to get out of there.

And from there, I went to do all the grocery shopping. Even though the stores were kind of crowded, since it was the day before Easter. But it kind of helped me clear my head.

And then, in the parking lot, while heading to my car, pushing my bags of groceries in the grocery cart, a woman who looked to be about 80, in complete distress, called out to me: “Please, please! Can you help me?”

ME (leaving my cart and going to her): “Yes I can.”

Without even knowing what she needed help with. It was just that call of distress from someone in need. Off I went.

I did eventually move my grocery cart over to my own car, and luckily what she needed help with, I was able to fix for her. (A problem with her car.)

And as I drove away, I was just sort of stunned. I was really glad that I’d been able to help her, so that she could drive herself home and feel safe and probably collapse…

…while I drove home to take care of 17 abandoned and/or rescued cats. In my 125-year-old home that through some miracle of grace, I manage to keep in really good shape…

What the fuck has my life become, right?

I was fucking exhausted.

And as I pulled up to my house, the neighbors across the road — the one who had dug my car out from under 4 feet of snow a few months ago — had no less than 10 pickup trucks parked along the side of their house. Happy guys outside, tinkering with the trucks. Kids running around, laughing, playing with toys. Obviously getting ready for Easter.

It was breathtaking, all the activity over there. And that was what I had always wanted, always assumed I would somehow have — a huge family, right?

Yesterday just wiped me out.

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However!

A great big thank you to whoever is pre-ordering The Curse of Our Profound Disorder !! It is already showing up in the sales ranking on Amazon!

I really, really appreciate it. (You can pre-order the print edition on Amazon US here, but it is available for pre-ordering at pretty much all online bookstores.)

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All righty!

Here’s this.

I’m not familiar with this photographer, but apparently she has passed away. Here are a couple of her photos, though. One of Richard Hell, and one of Iggy Pop:

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And here’s this!

A classic photo of Keith — it’s hard to see it here, but he’s wearing his “Marilyn” t-shirt:

And here’s this — no, not being taken off to jail, just being escorted through the crowd!

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And in honor of Easter!

A classic photo from yesteryear — of Nick Cave and a bunny!!

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And I believe that is it for now!

I have my shift later today with the retired Minister and his lovely wife and cat. I guess it will be an interesting way to “celebrate” Easter.

And then not only do I have tomorrow off, but also my best friend Valerie in Brooklyn and I are planning on having a catch-up chat on the phone!! Yay.

Okay. Enjoy your Easter, or have a good Sunday if you don’t celebrate Easter, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

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Let’s close with this.

This is a video that I play a lot on my phone for my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man. He loves this song (and this video).

The classic from Louis Armstrong, “What a Wonderful World.” Enjoy, gang.