Remember that I said I was back on social media platforms, to promote the new novel??
I just got a friend request on Facebook, from one of my former writing students!! How cool!!
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Okay. Back to our regularly scheduled program!
So, back in 1971, I started to get completely obsessed (and I mean, obsessed) with wanting to know who my birth dad was. (And that topic is basically the core idea of my upcoming memoir about my life in the 1970s, Joy: The Shortest Season.)
I stayed obsessed for 16 years. It was impossible to find out who my birth dad was, because no one knew.
And when I finally obtained a copy of my original birth certificate — in 1985, I petitioned the State of Ohio to have my adoption files opened — on the birth certificate, it had 2 really, really sad things: that my birth mom had only been 13 when I was born, and that my father was “Unknown.”
I won’t go into all the details of everything, because you can read the memoir (after I write it)!
But I will say, that I immediately found my birth mom, who was glad to have me back but who refused to say who my dad was.
And also that the man who I was eventually told was my dad — a cousin who had gone to school with my mom told me what the rumors had been back then — was not in fact my dad.
However, that guy’s mother — a lovely woman named Mary who lived in a small town in Ohio, whom I went to visit in 1987 — knew exactly who my birth dad was. She didn’t tell me — although she showed me an old photo of her son’s best friend and asked me if I thought I looked like him. I did!! But she didn’t say more than that.
And then, one night a couple months later, alone in my paradise apartment on E. 12th Street in NYC, I was watching a rerun of the Andy Griffith Show and got a phone call. A long distance phone call; a man calling from Reno, Nevada.
ME: “Hello?”
HE (a thick hillbilly accent): “Is this Marilyn?”
ME: “Yes.”
HE: “Well, Marilyn. My name’s Don May. And I think I’m your father.”
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That is the short version. But my life changed overnight. Finally.
And that was the beginning of finding out what it meant to be descended from the pioneering May family.
And somewhere in there, I learned that I was cousins with Louisa May Alcott — there were Mays all over Kentucky, but also all over New England. And they were all related.
Eventually I realized that back when I was still a young girl, and still obsessing about who my “real” father was, there were hidden clues to his identity all over my world.
For instance, I loved Donny Osmond. And Donald was my birth dad’s name.
I also loved David Cassidy, and he and my birth dad had the same birthday: April 12th.
I loved the Rod Stewart song, “Maggie May,” from 1971.
I grew up in Cleveland, where the most popular department store was the May Company.
And at my adoptive grandparents’ home, there were 2 old books on the upstairs bookshelf that really appealed to me a lot; books that had belonged to my adoptive mother, Marcia, when she was growing up: Little Women and Aunt Jo’s Scrap Bag, both by Louisa May Alcott, who I already knew was a famous writer.
But for some reason, Aunt Jo’s Scrap Bag really stuck out and I ended up taking that book home with me and keeping that book, and I still have it.
It’s an edition published in 1929:
Here’s the inside cover — my adoptive mom’s Aunt Molly had given her the book (and oddly enough, I was almost named after that Aunt Molly, until my adoptive dad got his way and named me after Marilyn Monroe instead):
And here’s the beautiful title page, from a book that is now almost 100 years old:
So, it was thrilling to eventually discover, years later, that I was related to Louisa May Alcott, the writer (and by then, I had just become a published writer, myself).
But what thrilled me even more–
After my birth dad passed away in 1999, I began getting letters from his older sister, who lived in North Carolina, whom I had never met.
She sent me beautiful letters, along with old photos of my dad from various eras of his life– from little boy on a farm, to sailor in Vietnam. Really lovely letters. I still have all of them.
Here’s a sample — Yes, a letter from my Aunt Jo:
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There are a couple more things I discovered just yesterday , between Louisa May Alcott and the surname “Peabody”, in my new novel The Curse of Our Profound Disorder, but I won’t go into all that right now.
Just wanted to share some of all this today.
Okay.
Oh my goodness! My previous writing student just texted from Facebook: “Hi! How’ve you been?” (I haven’t seen him in about 10 years… where to begin???)
All righty!!
Thanks for stopping by again! Have a great Monday.
Honestly, gang — today is the most beautiful day of the year so far. It didn’t seem like it would ever come.
It is just gorgeous out there. And WARM!! No clouds. And no high winds!! And it is the first of my 2 days off in a row!!
All the windows in the house are open, so the cats couldn’t be happier — the sound of birds singing is basically filling the house.
Just the feeling of fresh air and all this sunshine — wow, has it helped put my mood through the roof. Finally.
As I mentioned the other day, I’m planning to spend these 2 days off getting the Spring cleaning done. And I’m actually really looking forward to it. Mostly, finally getting the carpets really clean. And after that, I can focus better on the writing stuff that needs my attention — AKA: The Caiaphas play.
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Okay!!
Immediately following a WhatsApp text, dashed off from me to Wayne at 5AM this morning—
ME (texting): “Is your camera broken?”
Then this photo appeared! As if by magic!
The Lewis boys, at their lodge in the Australian Outback!!
Wayne, center, his brothers on either side! Methinks the sister-in-law is taking the photo…
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This was so cool.
When I was with the retired Minister and his lovely wife and cat yesterday —
The lovely wife and I always enjoy talking about local history and little known facts that she discovers about this area of Ohio.
And yesterday — wow! I had no idea about this, gang!! But she discovered that Frazeysburg (where I live) “served as a crucial waypoint within the Muskingum Valley and central Ohio routes of the Underground Railroad.” (The secret routes slaves used to escape slavery and get to Canada before & during the Civil War.)
I guess just another reason why I love this village so much. You can really feel the spirits here, and they are generally really good.
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From Ronnie Wood! You can pre-order a new signed print of his collage, “Back in Your Life”, HERE.
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And speaking of pre-ordering!
You can pre-order the eBook edition of the interview with Nick Cave — On the Fragility of Life — by ERIS gems, HERE!
“A conversation of rare depth and tenderness, On the Fragility of Life finds Nick Cave reflecting on love, loss, faith, and the fragile beauty of being alive. What emerges is a luminous meditation on mourning and meaning—unflinching, compassionate, and filled with the kind of grace that only grief can teach.”
And, well, okay–
Speaking of Nick Cave!!
A couple photos of Nick Cave — listening to the muse, perhaps??
And I guess a photo from after the muse… At an Arts Fair in London. I love his expression!!
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Johnny Depp’s production company is in the news today!!
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On a sad note….
46 years ago today, Ian Curtis, of Joy Division, left us (by suicide):
And while we’re here, I always LOVED this song. Joy Division, “Atrocity Exhibition” from their album Closer, 1980:
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And I know this post is already really long…
So I will post it and then, I will do a separate post, with more from what I wrote about yesterday, regarding Louisa May Alcott being one of my cousins.
So I will be back in a little bit!
Enjoy your Monday, wherever you are in the world!
Thanks for visiting.
I love you guys. See ya! (soon.)
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Let’s temporarily close with this!
Yes!
From the retro boombox next to my bed!
I love this song and it is perfect for today!!
The Traveling Wilburys’ “End of the Line,” 1988! Enjoy, gang!
“End Of The Line”
Well it’s all right, riding around in the breeze Well it’s all right, if you live the life you please Well it’s all right, doing the best you can Well it’s all right, as long as you lend a hand
You can sit around and wait for the phone to ring (End of the Line) Waiting for someone to tell you everything (End of the Line) Sit around and wonder what tomorrow will bring (End of the Line) Maybe a diamond ring
Well it’s all right, even if they say you’re wrong Well it’s all right, sometimes you gotta be strong Well it’s all right, As long as you got somewhere to lay Well it’s all right, everyday is Judgment Day
Maybe somewhere down the road aways (End of the Line) You’ll think of me, wonder where I am these days (End of the Line) Maybe somewhere down the road when somebody plays (End of the Line) Purple haze
Well it’s all right, even when push comes to shove Well it’s all right, if you got someone to love Well it’s all right, everything’ll work out fine Well it’s all right, we’re going to the end of the line
Don’t have to be ashamed of the car I drive (End of the Line) I’m just glad to be here, happy to be alive (End of the Line) It don’t matter if you’re by my side (End of the Line) I’m satisfied
Well it’s all right, even if you’re old and gray Well it’s all right, you still got something to say Well it’s all right, remember to live and let live Well it’s all right, the best you can do is forgive
Well it’s all right, riding around in the breeze Well it’s all right, if you live the life you please Well it’s all right, even if the sun don’t shine Well it’s all right, we’re going to the end of the line
c- 1988 – George Harrison, Bob Dylan, Jeff Lynne, Thomas Earl Petty, Roy K. Orbison
The confetti is because I had a very involved dream last night, about getting the “Marilyn’s Room” mini-podcast up and running here soon, and in the dream, there was all this confetti flying around.
I was really happy.
And I was drinking from a really colorful coffee mug — that I thought I actually owned in my waking life. However, when I went to retrieve it from my kitchen cupboard this morning, when the coffee was ready, I discovered that I had only dreamed that I owned this colorful mug. And I had to settle for a different mug with flowers all over it.
Which could mean that a new very colorful coffee cup is waiting in my future!! (But I kinda hope not, since I already have about 50 or 60 assorted coffee cups and mugs that almost never get used since the cats are avid caffeine-abstainers.)
Not mine
Speaking of cats–
Here’s a bunch of cats I found in the hall outside my bedroom last evening when I emerged to use the bathroom.
I have no idea where they came from , or who they belong to, but, actually, they were still here this morning when I awoke (multiplied by, you know, a bunch of others):
From left: Freddie McFee, Cuddles McGee, Billie Jo, Angie, Queenie, Saffie Sue
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Yes, I did get the printer up & running yesterday, and even though it is practically the same printer I had before, it was WAY easier to set up than the last one was.
So I still have all my hair — I didn’t tear any of it out!!
And now I can get back to promoting the new novel, along with getting the notes ready for when I write the play about Caiaphas in its entirety in June.
Right.
(I’m gonna really try, though, and write that play, gang. Honestly.)
And if you recall, on Friday, I posted a photo from Instagram having to do with the cemetery where one of my ancestors is buried — Louisa May Alcott.
When I googled the exact location of the cemetery, I got side-tracked by a bunch of stuff about Louisa and her dad, Amos Bronson Alcott. It was stuff I’d already known, but I have to say that the amount of coincidences between her life (and some of her writing) and mine, just astound me.
Oh, but also — loyal readers of this lofty blog no doubt recall that the May family (my birth dad’s side of my ancestors, and Louisa’s mom’s side) have a reputation for being really intense people (after the Revolutionary War, they practically settled the entire state of Kentucky, sort of) —
Here is what Louisa’s dad said about her as a child: “After Alcott’s birth, Bronson kept a record of her development, noting her strong will, which she may have inherited from her mother’s May side of the family.”
(I’ll go into more of that May-family thing and my own life tomorrow.) But it all just sort of astounds me.
Louisa May Alcott in 1870
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Since I didn’t post yesterday, I have a bunch of “here’s this’s” stacking up. So I will probably save some for tomorrow’s post.
And, if you recall, starting tomorrow, I have 2 days off in a row from caregiving, so I am planning to do the spring cleaning! Yay!
And once that’s out of the way, I can focus on getting all my flowers and plants ready and out on my various porches so that life around here will be ready for summer!! (And then somewhere in all that I’ll head to NYC…)
And speaking of NYC–
If you’re in the area and support the rights of LGBTQs, on June 9th the NYC LGBT Historic Sites Project is having a really cool conversation. Free to all but space is limited, so you need to make a reservation (HERE):
“Spanning the 1930s through the late 20th century, the program will reflect on their lasting impact and what that legacy means today.”
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But meanwhile–
Here’s this!!
From Jo Wood (Ronnie’s previous wife)– Mick and Ronnie on a boat off San Francisco!!
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A couple of great ones from Phyllis Stein!!
Iggy!!
In a “shirt” by Michael Schmidt:
And Keith, not smoking and walking past some taffeta! (With comments from Keith’s son, Marlon!)
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And speaking of Keith (when am I not??) —
Here’s this!
Keith smoking, with Marlon when he was still too young to make comments or to type!!
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And speaking of smoking!! (When am I not??)
I think Rowland S. Howard is smoking here, not sure — onstage in Germany in 1982!
And Rowland with the rest of the Birthday Party, in Germany in 1982 (clearly in that one “no smoking” area of Germany in 1982):
And speaking of Nick Cave not smoking!! (See photo directly above!)
Here, he and Colin Greenwood are not smoking in Poland, in 2024! (I know I’ve posted this before (in 2024, in fact), but I just love this photo!!)
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And I’d better stop now because I have stuff I gotta do here before I head out to see the retired Minister and his lovely wife and cat!
Oh, by the way. As part of promoting the new novel, I’ve gotten back on social media. For many years, I was only on Instagram (and Substack and Stage 32). But now I’m back on a few more.
I am not actively following people (yet) but if you are on any of these platforms and want to follow Marilyn Jaye Lewis, please do!!
LinkedIn, X, BlueSky, Good Reads, and Facebook. (And Instagram, Substack, and Stage 32.)
And if the “Marilyn’s Room” mini-podcast does indeed get off the ground — confetti and all– and you have writing or art you want to promote, let me know!!
Okay!!
Have a beautiful Sunday, wherever you are in the world.
Thanks for visiting.
I love you guys. See ya!
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Let’s close with this!!
Since I am reading the Tom Petty & Me memoir by Jon Scott–
Here is the actual recording that finally broke Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers across radio stations all over America!! (Proving that they were a rock & roll band and not Punk.)
“Breakdown” performed live at Capitol Studios, in Hollywood, November 11, 1977. The rest was history (finally). Enjoy, gang.
“Breakdown”
It’s alright if you love me It’s alright if you don’t I’m not afraid of you runnin’ away, honey I get the feeling you won’t
There is no sense in pretending Your eyes give you away Something inside you is feeling like I do We said all there is to say
Baby Breakdown, go ahead and give it to me Breakdown, honey, take me through the night (Take me, baby, breakdown, ooh) Breakdown, now I’m standin’ here, can’t you see? Breakdown, it’s alright It’s alright, it’s alright
Breakdown, go ahead and give it to me Breakdown, honey, take me through the night (Take me, baby, breakdown, ooh) Breakdown, now I’m standin’ here, can’t you see? Breakdown, it’s alright It’s alright, it’s alright
Although, around here, Friday just means that I’m getting ready to work the entire weekend.
And starting next week, I’m picking up a couple of double shifts on Fridays, but the evening shift will be out here in Muskingum County, on a farm way out in the woods. And since it’s Spring, it will still be light out when I have to drive the 30 miles back home.
So, I’m okay with it.
Meanwhile!
Surf’s up in Australia for the Lewis family!!
The first photo from Wayne arrived on WhatsApp last night! I think I saw it at around 3am and it just made me feel so happy!
Wayne with his 2 brothers and a sister-in-law
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And in case you needed to see this…. (I know I did)…
Yet another photo from yesteryear of Jack Kerouac typing!!
And in case you’re curious —
Through my birth dad’s side of the family, I am cousins with Louisa May Alcott! (Through her mother’s side). Maybe I should go visit this cool place! You know, go on the road …
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And I don’t want to , you know, start trouble or anything, but there appears to be a veritable plethora of lighters in this world–
Keith, contemplating lighters
And I still have not received my really cool Tom Petty Zippo lighter!!
You never know, though, I might get lucky and actually receive it sometime!!
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Speaking of Tom Petty!!
From yesterday–
And last evening, I did begin reading that new book I got the other day, about Tom Petty, written by his long-time record promoter, Jon Scott:
It’s really good, but I did start to cry while reading it.
I had a rough day yesterday, so I was really emotionally worn out, but also I never really knew any of the details about why the first album by Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers took so long to break in America. (It was a hit in England first.)
Just reading about what total dickheads the record company was toward them with that first album — even knowing that the story had a happy ending, it still just made me cry.
That said, I am hoping today will be a better day.
It’s sunny and should be nice all day. And I’m taking my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man out to the Rural King to start getting his baskets of flowers for his back deck! (Although Annie was the one who always did that, but we are trying to just move forward and get stuff done and not get too sad.) However, about every half hour or so:
HE (quietly): “Annie is gone now?”
ME:” Yes, she’s gone.”
HE: “She didn’t tell me, you know.”
ME: “I know, she didn’t tell me, either.”
(That she had cancer.)
And later today, I’m picking up my new printer from Best Buy. So my writing/promoting world can get back on track…
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In the meantime–
Here’s a photo of the Stones looking almost happy in 1977!
Photo by Ken Regan
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And in case you also needed THIS —
Here are two more photos of Nick Cave & Blixa Bargeld — this time, doing that thing where they keep their eyes open!! (Or behind a pair of shades, as the case may be…)
And while we’re at it — here’s this fantastic song from Iggy Pop, 1986 — “Shades,” co-written by David Bowie, from Iggy’s incredible album Blah-Blah-Blah. I love this song!!!
“Shades”
You gave me a present The paper was blue and green I unwrapped it with pleasure These are the best shades I’ve ever seen You can be my girlfriend Forever and a day I never thought I was worth much Or that anyone would treat me this way
[Chorus] I’m not The kind of guy Who dresses like a king And a really fine pair of shades Means everything And the light that blinds my eyes Shines from you It makes me come in the night It makes me swim with delight I like this pain I like this mirror I like these shades
I could have had a problem I might have never followed through The other guys are in trouble They wouldn’t listen to a girl like you These shades say something I’ll bet they cost a lot I hope I don’t break ’em I hope we don’t break up
A reminder that the soundtrack for the TV series, “The Death of Bunny Munro” is available for streaming HERE on the platform of your choice!
And there is an upcoming documentary about Kylie Minogue on Netflix — launching Wednesday May 20th — which will have music contributions and some comments from Nick Cave!
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And I think that is going to be it for today, gang!! I’m gonna head out soon and get the whole thing moving all over again.
Enjoy your Friday, wherever you are in the world!
Thanks for visiting.
I love you guys. See ya!
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Let’s close with this.
I find it a little creepy and I still have not been able to watch it all the way through.
It is allegedly not AI — it features “doubles”, actual actors. But still. God knows, I prefer the original “old” Stones to fake ones…
Anyway. The new official video from the Rolling Stones for “In The Stars”. (You can pre-order the upcoming new album, Foreign Tongues, HERE.) Enjoy, gang.
As in: Sayonara, baby!! Kiss the printer goodbye!!
After about an hour of trying everything imaginable to fix it, I got onto the Best Buy app and just bought a new one. It will be ready for me to pick up on Friday.
AND– it was actually cheaper than I could have ever imagined!! (When did printers get so affordable??)
I’m just not gonna stress over any more shit right now, you know? Just get a new printer! But it did totally wreck the creative flow I was having with Caiaphas…
Meanwhile, I’m hoping that the backup ink cartridges I have will fit the new printer. I tried to buy the closest model I could find to the old one. We shall see.
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In other good news!!
The guy in NYC finished reading the review copy of The Curse of Our Profound Disorder!! He really liked it. He said, among other things, that he had gotten “emotionally invested in what happened to Jem” (the protagonist).
He ultimately said: “Bravo! It reads like a true fairy tale — in the best sense of that categorization.”
As soon as the book becomes available for sale, he’ll review it on Amazon for me.
Meanwhile, if you want to pre-order it, you can do that HERE. Thank you!!
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You know, I keep forgetting to mention here that I don’t think “Wild Thing” works at the Rural King anymore.
The last 5 times I’ve been there — different days, different times — he hasn’t been at the checkout counter. Well, maybe they moved him to a different department (the guns & ammo section??), I don’t know. I usually only buy cat food and then pay and go.
Well, wherever he is — Paris, perhaps?? Brushing up on his French?? — I hope he’s having the best life!!
“Excusez-moi, où est le toit ?”
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Okay. I kinda gotta get moving here and head to town soon. It is a really lovely day today, though. I hope my clients want me to go out and run a bunch of errands!!
I don’t have many “here’s this’s” today but–
Here’s this!!
Keith and Mick in California, in 1969! Photo by the legendary rock photographer, Ethan Russell:
And Keith, smoking while going somewhere and looking happy, while also wearing a grey suit and some shades!!
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I loved this!!
Eric Burdon turned 85 yesterday!!
Posted by his grandchild:
And here’s this, while we’re at it! “Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood,” by Eric Burdon and the Animals, 1965!
(BTW — I quoted the chorus to this song as my comment accompanying my Graduation photo in my Senior High School Yearbook, 1978.)
“Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood”
Baby, do you understand me now Sometimes I feel a little mad But don’t you know that no one alive Can always be an angel When things go wrong I seem to be bad
But I’m just a soul whose intentions are good Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood
Baby, sometimes I’m so carefree With a joy that’s hard to hide And sometimes it seems that all I have to do is worry And then you’re bound to see my other side
I’m just a soul whose intentions are good Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood
If I seem edgy I want you to know That I never mean to take it out on you Life has its problems and I get my share And that’s one thing I never meant to do Because I love you Oh, Oh baby don’t you know I’m human Have thoughts like any other one Sometimes I find myself long regretting Some foolish thing some little simple thing I’ve done
I’m just a soul whose intentions are good Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood Yes, I’m just a soul whose intentions are good Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood Yes, I’m just a soul whose intentions are good Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood Yes, I’m just a soul whose intentions are good Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood …
c – 1965 – Sol Marcus, Bennie Benjamin, Gloria Caldwell
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And from Nick Cave Official yesterday:
And here’s this!!
Nick Cave in London, in 2022!
Interesting composition, no?
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And that is it.
I really gotta scoot!
Have a terrific Tuesday, wherever you are in the world!!
Thanks for visiting.
I love you guys. See ya!
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Okay, we’ll close with this!!
One of those songs I recognized from the very first piano note–
As it came out of the Oldies FM Radio Station on my retro boombox, when I was getting ready for bed last night. I could not help but sing along!
“Tiny Dancer,” Elton John. From his classic, Madman Across the Water, 1971. Enjoy, gang.
Day 2 in absolute mental overload — but the brain is still working just fine.
I am of course referring to the commitment I made to write an entire play about Caiaphas in the month of June (wherein I will also be in NYC for 4 days). (See yesterday’s post if you missed it.)
I have to say, gang, just going over the piles of notes — alone — will take an entire month, but I’m still moving forward. And I feel really good about it.
This bit of monologue floored me. (First, let me just point out that Caiaphas’ entire reputation for being the man behind killing Jesus is based on basically one line in the New Testament and it basically only states that the “trial” went on in his home. It was more the doings of his father-in-law and brothers-in law (also High Priests), but after 70 AD, Pharisaic Christians wanted to re-frame that. Hence, my desire to write a play about how a man’s horrific reputation, which, throughout eternity has basically been false, is seen from that man’s POV in the afterlife.)
Anyway. I digress.
I came across this scribbled bit of monologue in my notes from 2014 and I loved it:
(Caiaphas speaking): “The bounty I gave to the world because I gave it a picture of the crucifixion of God’s son.”
FUCK, right??!! Think of everything that has come from it: Religions, wars, art.
Anyway.
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Okay.
So I’m in a good place. I’m not losing my mind or living in overdrive. My only –albeit small — regret, is that I didn’t write the whole play back in 2016, when all the notes were fresh. (Most of the notes are historical and archeological, and now it’s looking like I gotta read all that stuff again.)
Easy-peasy!
But I’m okay.
And yesterday, since it was Mother’s Day, I had a nice phone chat with my birth mom, finally.
Yes! I called her on the phone and she actually answered it.
But it appears that on Friday and Saturday, the other daughters, granddaughters and great-granddaughter, celebrated Mother’s Day with her in various lovely ways.
And my brother was going to be stopping by later in the afternoon yesterday, so she was sitting alone in her living room with nothing to do and so when the phone rang, she answered it.
Yes! Call mom! She might answer it!
She sounded in good spirits and that always makes me feel great.
Regarding all the caregiving stuff in my world, though, it is still a bit overwhelming and I have to make a dedicated effort to draw some sort of inner emotional lines for myself. We’ll see how that goes. But meanwhile.
Oh! I finally finished watching the Netflix film, “Je m’appelle Anjeta” last night, and I really just loved it, all the way through. It was so fun!
And, speaking — sort of — of France (the movie is in Swedish and French and takes place in Provence), I’m still studying my French every evening and, after studying French for something like 57 years now–
This past week, I learned 3 new words. Well, I’m always learning new words, but these 3 are for common, ordinary things, but I am JUST NOW learning them. I find that so weird.
The words are:
Plafond (ceiling)
Grenier (attic)
Toit (roof)
I guess, you know, I’ve always needed to learn about stuff that didn’t involve looking up in any way. But I just find that so weird. After all these years. And I did not even realize that I did not know these words.
ME (all over Paris): “Excusez-moi, où est le toit ?” [“Excuse me, where is the roof?”]
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Okay!
Yesterday was not only Mother’s Day (here in the USA) — it was also this guy’s heavenly birthday!
Happy Heavenly Birthday to Sid Vicious!
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And here’s this!
Keith, doing something he’s really good at besides smoking– being HAPPY!
And here’s this!
Keith and Mick, not smoking at a soundcheck in Malmo, Sweden, in August 1970. (I think they are singing that classic Beatles’ song, “Help,” but I’m not 100% sure.)
Photo by Jan Persson
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I loved these!!
Nick Cave not smoking in a brownish suit!
And Nick Cave not smoking onstage in Hamburg in June, 1982!
And don’t forget!!
If you missed the Hamburg gig in 1982, Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds will be all over Germany this summer and tickets are still available! Buy them HERE!!!
******** And I think that is it, gang!
It is, of course, my illustrious day off.
Laundry is already done!
No vacuuming is needed today!! (I will give you a moment to pick yourself up off the floor after that shocking remark!)
And all that I gotta do now is take a deep breath and, I guess, dive into a truckload of notes I made 10–12 years ago, sort them all out, and create a play!
Enjoy your Monday, wherever you are in the world, gang.
Thanks for visiting.
I love you guys. See ya!
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I leave you witih this!
Morning-listening music!!
I had it on “repeat” through most of breakfast.
I love this song so much. (It reminds me of most of my family, on my birth dad’s side, going back 150 years…)
Recording the song caused Tom Petty a lot of problems:
Story of Tom Petty punching a wall in 1984 breaking his hand (2 mins):
Originally from the album, Southern Accents, Tom Petty & the Heartbreaker’s “Rebels”, 1985. (This is an alternate take, from his posthumous collection, An American Treasure.) Enjoy, gang!
“Rebels”
Honey, don’t walk out, I’m too drunk to follow You know you won’t feel this way tomorrow Well, maybe a little rough around the edges Or inside a little hollow I get faced with some things sometimes That are so hard to swallow, hey!
I was born a rebel, down in Dixie On a Sunday mornin’ Yeah with one foot in the grave And one foot on the pedal I was born a rebel, born a rebel
She picked me up in the mornin’ And she paid all my tickets Then she screamed in the car Left me out in the thicket Well I never would’ve dreamed That her heart was so wicked Yeah but I keep coming back ‘Cause it’s so hard to kick it, hey, hey, hey
I was born a rebel, down in Dixie On a Sunday mornin’ Yeah with one foot in the grave And one foot on the pedal I was born a rebel, born a rebel
Even before my father’s father They called us all rebels As they burned our cornfields And left our cities leveled I can still feel the eyes of those blue-bellied devils Yeah, when I’m walking ’round tonight Through the concrete and metal, hey, hey, hey
I was born a rebel, down in Dixie On a Sunday mornin’ Yeah with one foot in the grave And one foot on the pedal I was born a rebel, born a rebel
I was born a rebel, down in Dixie On a Sunday mornin’ Yeah with one foot in the grave And one foot on the pedal I was born a rebel, born a rebel
But, man, life just keeps getting so fucking weird that I never really know if I’m having a good day until it’s, like, basically over.
However.
So far, today is seeming pretty good. It’s sunny. I have the day to myself. The only thing on the “List of Things to Do” besides yoga and washing my hair, is, of course (always) this:
Oops! Excuse me. Of course, I meant this:
Oh! Shoot!! Sorry. No, I meant THIS:
Yes. This.
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Yesterday was, overall, sort of lovely.
My favorite 95-year-old Japanese man is now very aware that Annie has died. And he’s sad but handling it very well. We had a good day together, and early tomorrow morning, I’m heading over there to help him get into his suit and tie in order to go to the funeral.
He said about 7 times yesterday that he doesn’t want to go to the funeral. But we’ll see what happens in the morning, when his stepson comes by to get him.
Meanwhile, his daughter has requested that I be the new primary contact person for her dad, now that she’s back in Seattle.
The Agency asked me how I felt about that and, obviously, I said “okay”, since it all landed in my lap anyway, when Annie suddenly went into the coma and then died. (And then I suddenly had to find out who/where his Primary Care Doctor was and go to the office and explain what had happened and who I was; then find out where he got his prescriptions filled and go pick them up; and find out who and where his favorite barber is; and then find someone to cut his lawn this summer because the boy who did it last summer moved away; and then go to the grocery store, and then, you know, go to the grocery store, and then, yesterday, yes, go back to the grocery store….)
All the stuff Annie always did. For 8 years…
Anyway.
Of course I will do it.
But I also have a new novel coming out and I’m trying to find people who will give the book an advance review online, and trying to get my profile updated on the various social media sites. And get that weekly mini-podcast underway and launched with my best friend Valerie in Brooklyn, who desperately needs a new iPhone and who always seems to be at the dentist’s. And Sandra & I have a play that has a Staged Reading Off-Broadway in NYC in November. And we might or might not be writing a new TV pilot this summer — we don’t know yet.
While I’m also taking care of 17 love-filled, happy cats…
So I feel a little overwhelmed…
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However!
Tomorrow, after I get my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man into his suit and tie, I’ll be heading over to the old train station to get my review copy back from Wendy and then– !!
Having lunch there with my friend Steve!! The guy I’ve been friends with since we were 11 years old, and who has texted me sort of repeatedly for the last 5 months, wanting to know when we can go out to lunch again…
So tomorrow is finally the day and that will be nice.
Having lunch with the only person left on Earth who’s known me since I was 11.
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And then this morning, for God only knows what reason, I found myself suddenly thinking:
ME (suddenlythinking): I should go to Columbus more often. Go to the theater and see more plays….
WTF???
You know, where did that come from??? Did it have something to do with that dream I had the other night, that I had moved back into my old house and was really happy???
I have no fucking idea.
Me, when I have no fucking idea.
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Okay.
Meanwhile!!
I am watching this movie on Netflix and LOVING it!! (It’s in Swedish and French, with nothing but tons of subtitles so my eyes get a little tired, but I love it!)
“Je m’appelle Agneta”:
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And here’s this!
Keith! At Redlands, in 1966:
And Keith! Not at Redlands, and not in 1966!
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And here’s this!!
“The Weeping Song” from 1990, because I love this video and because I’ve been listening to The Good Son album a lot lately (such a great album):
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And I think I’ll close this with that. (And NO! I’m not going to say: “I can ‘t believe this video is 36 fucking years old already… where is the fucking time going??”)
I’m just going to leave it. With no comment about TIME.
And get on with my day.
Maybe hop in the car and drive all the way to fucking Columbus and see a play…
Meanwhile!
Enjoy your Thursday, wherever you are in the world.
Thanks for visiting.
I love you guys. See ya!
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I leave you with this!
My making-the-bed music from this morning!
From Keith’s 2015 album, Crosseyed Heart, his version of the classic, “Goodnight Irene.” Enjoy, gang.
It’s Primary Election Day here in Ohio, so I had to go out and do that thing.
But I am back!
I don’t know if it’s just me, gang, but things feel so weird today.
For one thing, I had so many vivid dreams last night. Like someone was trying really, really hard to tell me something.
In one dream, I was in the house I owned about 10 years ago. I was unpacking and moving back in. And I was really happy about it, but it was as if I was returning there from having been in a sort of coma.
All the cats were there and happy I was back. And then at one point, an official sort of woman — don’t know how to describe her — brought in my Aunt Sylvia, my Great Aunt Gertrude, and my grandfather!!
All of these relatives have been dead for a really long time. But they were all really happy to be back and I was so happy to see them. (They were from my adoptive maternal side of the family.)
In another dream, I literally could not keep my eyelids open and I was going around doing important stuff (including drivingon the freeway) with my eyes shut — trying really hard to lift my eyelids so that I could see.
But there was a lot more to the dreams than that, and all of it was totally lucid dreaming. Not something I’ve done in a really long time. So that, in itself, felt really strange.
But I did get the impression, when all the dreams were over, that I’ve been “asleep in the dream of life” for a few years or something and I’m trying to wake up again.
However — wasn’t it sort of like this image I posted yesterday??? About letting anxiety take a back seat for awhile?? Too weird!!
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Okay. Anyway.
I voted. I have the day off. I’m not super happy about losing all that money for today — Tuesdays are good money days for me. But I’ve decided that I will try to just stay relaxed (that’s my new “idea” — to relax). And have a good day.
It’s too fun. It opens with a “studio surveillance system” — you click on the various cameras and get grainy black & white footage of the Stones in the studio, making the new album. Some of the cameras “don’t work.”
Anyway. It’s fun. And then you can also enter the main web site.
Tonight, Mick Jagger is going to be on late night TV, I guess introducing the new single from the upcoming album. Methinks I will not be awake, but I feel pretty certain I will get bombarded with it all over Instagram tomorrow morning…
Meanwhile, here’s this!
From 60 years ago… the original Rolling Stones:
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NewFest Pride announced their film line-up that will launch Pride Month in NYC.
There will be big outdoor screenings, but if you no longer live anywhere near NYC — you can get a virtual pass, and watch the films online.
There are many different options for purchasing passes to the screenings and parties and Q&A’s in NYC HERE.
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And by accident, last night I re-listened to chapters 12 -17 of TheDharma Bums on YouTube! I was listening to something else and trying to skip the ad, when it suddenly took me to a totally different video that I had listened to several months ago.
But I was quietly very happy with this twist of fate! I love that book. (Chapters 12 -17):
And I think maybe it was Jack, once again helping me make peace with the ever-upcoming release of The Curse of Our Profound Disorder and how it will likely be a book that won’t sit well with people….
Jack’s spirit is really good at helping me come to terms with that.
Jack Kerouac in Greenwich Village, NYC — looks like late 1940s or early 1950s.
I did get a really wonderful text from Wendy yesterday, saying she had finished reading the novel. It was difficult for her to get through (see yesterday’s post), but she liked how everything was resolved in the end.
And she also said: “If you don’t have a book launch, how will people know the book is out?”
Which, obviously, is a very good point…
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Okay. Well, on a somewhat different note!
Here’s this! So similar to yesterday!
Keith, drinking Jack Daniels onstage!
And so here’s the follow up to what I alluded to yesterday about my dad’s parenting skills in 1972:
I was 12, and closed up in my bedroom, as usual. I was always closed up in there, listening to music or playing my guitar and writing songs.
My dad came in and told me that my grandmother (his mother) had just called to tell him that Karen and I had been drinking whiskey and smoking cigarettes.
ME: “How’d she know about that?”
HE (laughing but trying hard not to show it): “You mean it’s true?”
ME: “Yeah. But how’d she know?”
HE: “She saw you. You weren’t doing a very good job of trying to hide it. Do you even like whiskey?!”
ME: “No, but Karen does.”
And then my dad went on to tell me that I was too young to drink whiskey and smoke cigarettes, and that if I was going to keep on doing it, I better try harder to not get caught.
HE: “If you do get caught again, then I’m gonna look like I can’t control my own daughter. And then I’m gonna get angry.”
It is sufficient to say that, forever after, I tried really hard not to get caught drinking whiskey and smoking cigarettes… the rest of the stuff I got up to, not so much.
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All righty!
And here’s this!
Nick Cave in Berlin, 1986! Similar, but different! (I think I posted this one not too long ago, but it came up again today!)
And this!!
Nick and Blixa in the 80s!! Yay! (Apparently having no trouble at all keeping their eyes open…)
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And with that, I should close this, because the morning is almost gone around here.
Have a terrific Tuesday, wherever you are in the world, gang.
Thanks for visiting.
I love you guys. See ya!
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Let’s close with this.
Morning-listening music!!
From Full Moon Fever, Tom Petty’s totally addictive “The Apartment Song”!! 1989. Enjoy, gang.
For some reason, I just love that ad (above). The energy of it. And it reminds me of all the times I’ve made great progress — here at this very desk, in this very Old House — writing.
A not-so-long-ago time of my life that I want to return to now at all times…
I never actually smoked Pall Malls, although my parents did in our first house in Cleveland. Then they switched to Larks:
And of course Eddie Van Halen (or at least his guitar) famously smoked Pall Malls:
And my birth mom still smokes Pall Malls, which is why there was a pack of them that I found in a kitchen drawer in this old house, several years ago, when I was craving an unlit cigarette that I could snap the filter off of and then sit with at my desk, and write….
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Wait!
First of all, I have to say THIS:
I did get a text from my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man’s daughter yesterday and she is not — AT THIS TIME — planning to put him in a nursing home!!! Those plans are on hold, sort of indefinitely.
Yay!!
Which means that many more tiny vodka cocktails are in our (his) future!!
Yesterday, his wooden leg was being wonky again so we didn’t go out for sashimi & sake (he’s getting a brand new leg on Tuesday). And late in my shift, he was sort of staring at the little end table next to his recliner, where upon there were 2 unopened bottles of protein drinks, some Greek yogurt, an organic ham sandwich, and a little bowl of organic non-GMO potato chips…and the little framed photo of his dad in Tokyo in 1957.
ME: “Are you looking for something?”
HE: “A gallon of vodka.”
So I promptly went to the fridge and got him about an ounce of the Smirnoff pre-mixed cocktail thingie that he loves. And he was delighted.
He also had great mental clarity yesterday, although, sadly, it was about his private nurse:
HE: “What’s going on with Annie? Is she still in the hospital?”
His daughter will be telling him the sad news later today, so I just said that I didn’t know. But I was so relieved that he remembered her name and that she’s been gone for a couple of weeks now.
So, overall, it was a great day but emotionally, I was still worn out.
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Okay.
Here’s this!
I was lying in bed this morning with my coffee. A few of the cats were on the bed with me, happily dozing. The sun was up and it was a beautiful Sunday morning.
Then I heard something clutter to the floor, so I sat up in bed and disturbed all the furry slumberers. But discovered that Calico had selected some reading materials for us from the bookshelf!!
Princess perusing our reading materials for today, selected by Calico.
The Stoned Apocalypse, an erotic classic about the 1960sby Marco Vassi, 1993 edition from Masquerade Books.
The Sick Bag Song by Nick Cave, hard cover, 2014 (and I was, you know, absolutely stunned that this book has been out for 12 years already. Christ. Where does the fucking time go??? But what a great book.)
And the navy blue book is a journal that I bought at the Kirtland Temple in 2018, when I was friends with 2 wonderful young Mormon missionaries. Two blonde girls, from out-of-State.
Original Mormon church from the 1830s, near Cleveland
The Kirtland Temple was incredible, btw. I am so glad I went there. But I forgot that I even had this journal. I opened it and on the inside cover, I’d written that Gus Van Sant, Sr. had died on Jan. 13, 2022. And I had also scribbled the Portuguese chorus from Nick Cave’s stunning song “Foi Na Cruz”.
In the actual journal, on the opening page, I’d written “January 2, 2020” but the entry itself is torn out.
And then the next page is from January 6, 2022, and it is one line from the poem “You, Dr. Martin” by Anne Sexton:
From breakfast to madness
And the rest of the journal that I’d forgotten I even had is totally blank!
And then as I was putting the books back on the bookshelf, right next to where the forgotten journal had been sitting was a composition theme notebook, so I pulled that out and discovered it was filled with all sorts of notes from plays and screenplays I was working on in 2014!!
Oh my god! So many incredible backstory notes for “Cleveland’s Burning” — a TV pilot that was in development forever with Bohemia Group Originals out in LA, until it came to a screeching halt with the scamdemic.
And then — I am not exagerrating (although I am misspelling “exaggerating”) — there were amazing scribbled notes for my in-progress play about the historical Jesus — “The Gospel According to Caiaphas”!! A play that is heavily influenced by Tom Stoppard’s 1967 masterpiece, “Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead.”
Crap, you know??? When am I going to get all this stuff done??
I’m guessing there are no amount of Pall Malls in the world that can give me actual TIME, but once I get the time, here’s hoping they will still be manufacturing Pall Malls.
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Well, okay.
Other interesting news– apparently my press release for the upcoming release of my forever-in-progress-but-finally-published novel The Curse of Our Profound Disorder, was also picked up by the Columbus Dispatch!!
Yes!! The main newspaper of the city of my rather un-illustrious birth to a 13-year-old Pall Mall-smoking girl!!
Wow. I was kinda stunned to see that. But I figured, you know, my feelings about Columbus and all the terrible things that happened to me there aside, I should probably send that newspaper a review copy…
What it looks like when I get an idea
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Okay.
I do have to get some stuff done around here before I head out to see the retired Minister and his wife and lovely cat.
So, here’s this!!
Bob Dylan!! Photographed by Bent Raj at Kronborg Castle in Elsinore, May 1st, 1966. Smoking! In black & white!
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And here’s this!!
2 of my intensely influential literary influences, together in Greenwich Village, NYC, in 1969!!
Patti Smith and Jim Carroll, on Minetta Street!!
(A street that became my stomping ground in 1982. There was a very small folk club there that’s gone now, but I used to hang out there all the time. In fact, the very first time I played “She Ain’t No Virgin At All” — alone with my guitar, I had just written the song the night before — was in that little club on Minetta Street. AND! In 1984, when I brought the demo of the song to the songwriting class I was taking with Jim Carroll at the West Side Y, and he played the tape in class, he said: “I have no advice for this. This song is perfect.” Below is that demo.)
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And here’s Keith smiling onstage, in a blue shirt!
And Keith onstage in 1975 (that Holy Year of Our Lord), in a mostly red shirt!
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And as luck would have it–
I was looking through all the movies I have in my Amazon Prime account last evening, and when I came upon “20,000 Days On Earth” — the Nick Cave film from, yes, 2014!! — which I’ve watched about 3 times, but it’s been a while since I last watched it, and I was thinking that I’d really like to watch that again…
Anyway, this still from one of my favorite scenes from that film was in my hashtag feed on Instagram this morning!
Methinks I’ll probably start watching it again tonight!
And here’s this!!
Nick Cave in the wind in Hamburg, 2024!!
Soon enough, it will be 2036, and I’ll see this photo again and I’ll think: Fuck, that was 12 years ago!! Where is the fucking time going??!!
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And with that, I think I will close and get stuff done before I have to head to town.
Enjoy your Sunday, gang, wherever you are in the world.
Thanks for visiting.
I love you guys. See ya!
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Let’s close with this!
I kid you not, gang, when this song came on the Oldies FM Radio Station on the retro boombox as I was making my bed this morning and was singing loudly along to the chorus, the cats came prancing in with their tails up high and they just seemed so frisky and happy. I think they really liked the feel of the chorus to this wonderful song!!
From 1984, by Jon Parr, “St. Elmo’s Fire (Man in Motion)”. Theme song from the movie, “St. Elmo’s Fire.” Enjoy, gang!! We sure did!!
“St. Elmo’s Fire (Man In Motion)”
Growin’ up You don’t see the writing on the wall Passin’ by Movin’ straight ahead, you knew it all
But maybe sometime if you feel the pain You’ll find you’re all alone Everything has changed
Play the game You know you can’t quit until it’s won Soldier on Only you can do what must be done
You know in some way You’re a lot like me You’re just a prisoner And you’re tryin’ to break free
I can see a new horizon Underneath the blazin’ sky I’ll be where the eagle’s flyin’ Higher and higher
Gonna be your man in motion All I need’s this pair of wheels Take me where the future’s lyin’ St. Elmo’s Fire, ooh
Burnin’ up Don’t know just how far that I can go (Just how far I go) Soon be home Only just a few miles down the road
I can make it I know I can You broke the boy in me But you won’t break the man
I can see a new horizon Underneath the blazin’ sky I’ll be where the eagle’s flyin’ Higher and higher
Gonna be your man in motion All I need’s this pair of wheels Take me where my future’s lyin’ St. Elmo’s Fire
I can climb the highest mountain Cross the wildest sea I can feel St. Elmo’s Fire Burnin’ in me, burnin’ in me
Just once in his life A man has his time And my time is now I’m comin’ alive
I can hear the music playin’ I can see the banners fly Feel like your man again And hope ridin’ high
Gonna be your man in motion All I need’s this pair of wheels Take me where my future’s lyin’ St. Elmo’s Fire
I can see a new horizon Underneath the blazin’ sky I’ll be where the eagle’s flyin’ Higher and higher
Gonna be your man in motion All I need’s this pair of wheels Take me where the future’s lyin’ St. Elmo’s Fire
I can climb the highest mountain Cross the wildest sea I can feel St. Elmo’s Fire burnin’ in me
Burnin’ Burnin’ in me I can feel it burnin’ Ooh, burnin’ inside of me
The weather is very sunny today but still really cold.
Nevertheless, my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man and I decided yesterday to go out for sashimi & sake today. Now that his private nurse is gone, he hasn’t been out for lunch since he and I went to the golf course last Friday.
When I’m around him, it’s easy to get my energy into a good place and keep things upbeat and happy, so I’m looking forward to going out with him today if he feels up to it. But I have to say, gang, that on a deep level, it feels to me like everything has changed.
The feeling of loss is like a blanket over everything in that house now. He knows something is missing but he doesn’t know what. He also knows that something big in his life has changed forever. He doesn’t remember his private nurse’s name, or who she was, or anything like that — he only knows that there was a girl who used to come see him but that she had to go to the hospital.
His daughter is going to tell him everything when she sees him in person, tomorrow.
Since his daughter has been texting me the last couple of days about her upcoming trip, I finally decided to just text her this morning and ask her if she’s planning to put her dad into a nursing home soon. I want to start getting the hanging flower baskets for his back deck, but it’s a lot of money to spend if he won’t be there much longer.
We’ll see what she replies. But I’m thinking that I already know what she’s going to say.
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On a happier front…
It looks like Rasha’s mom and her little baby will be staying here, to take care of Rasha and all the other cats, while I’m in NYC.
This is such a relief to me. I’ve been worried that all these cats now — including Rasha, who is still unwell — will be too much for my birth mom to really handle, even though she’s happy to do it. (My birth mom is 79 now.)
I feel so much better about this arrangement, though. Because the girl knows full well that Rasha is sick, since Rasha is her cat. It’s not going to be any sort of unhappy surprise for her.
And I also talked to a friend of mine yesterday about her and her husband staying here the last weekend of September, when I go to North Carolina for James Tabor’s conference thingie. They had offered to cat-sit before, so she’s thinking they probably will.
And by September, Rasha’s mom should be in her own place and able to take Rasha back. So that is potentially another huge relief.
Now all I want is for my birth mom to just come out here and visit for a few days, just to hang out again. To smoke and drink beer (her, not me).
What I would really like her to do at this point is answer her phone... she’s not a really big phone-answering kinda gal.
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Anyway.
So there’s good stuff going on and sad stuff going on. But meanwhile, here’s this!
If you’re too young to know that Patti Hansen used to be not only a top super model in the late 70s, early 80s, she also had a reputation for being a real party girl!! (To me, she always just seemed like a down-to-earth girl from Staten Island.) It did not surprise me a bit that Keith fell in love with her.
Anyway! Here they are in 1981, and Patti does not seem to be in any way intoxicated!!
And here’s this!
Keith smoking in 1972, maybe overdoing the guitar thing a little bit…
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And here’s this!
Nick Cave!
I’m thinking “just out of the shower” but not 100% sure:
I’m also thinking the reason my really cool Tom Petty zippo lighter has not arrived yet is because they sent it to Nick Cave!! (Not 100% sure on that, either, just thinkin’…)
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And that’s it.
I guess I better get moving here and plan on having a great day, come what may!
Enjoy your Saturday, wherever you are in the world.
Thanks for visiting.
I love you guys. See ya!
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Let’s close with this!
Something else that reminds me of the old New York…with the old skyline and everything.
“The Critic” is also free now on Tubi!! I loved this show. I’d forgotten all about it! (From 1994-95.) Enjoy, gang.
Marilyn's Room 