Tag Archives: The Curse of Our Profound Disorder

What A Relief!

October 3, 2025 marilyn jaye lewis Leave a comment

Wow, even though I know I will need to tweak the pages I wrote yesterday, it feels incredible to have finally finished that novel!

I already alerted the publisher that I will be sending over the manuscript soon, but first I will have to read through it again from start to finish, and make sure it all holds together by the end.

And I’ll also be sending it over to Wayne. And I will be eager to hear his response, since he is always honest with me. And has basically read everything I’ve ever written.

Wayne, reading basically everything I’ve ever written.

**************

And not only did I spend about 7 hours on the novel yesterday, I spent an additional TWO HOURS on the phone with Sandra.

Things in that part of my world are going to get really busy soon, and that is a double-relief — regarding finally having finished the novel. I am really going to need the brain-space to be able to focus.

(I will talk more about that incredible project when I can, gang.)

Meanwhile, she has a quick theater piece that she’ll be doing at the end of October, but I didn’t get enough notice, so I can’t get to NYC to see it. So I’m a little disappointed.

But I have decided that next week, I’m going to talk to my supervisor at the Agency again and, even though I really hate to do it, I’m going to ask to be removed from one of my accounts because it takes too much time and energy for me. I just don’t have the stamina for it. I have to be able to focus on the writing now, too.

***********

I don’t really have much to say today, gang. I’m sort of wiped out from yesterday — but in a good way. I’m wiped out but I feel such a sense of relief.

And pretty soon here, I have to leave for town and get my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man ready for our adventure at the clubhouse!! (I’m hoping that his private nurse had him shave yesterday, because he really hates shaving and he really needed a shave when I was over there on Wednesday. We shall soon see!)

But it’s a perfect fall day here today and I feel pretty confident that we’re going to have a really great adventure!

***********

I want to mention here — if you’re a long-time reader of this lofty blog, you might remember this episode in my life during the vax crisis a few years ago, when I was the night manager at the old train station-turned bar/coffee shop.

I met a young woman there who had recently had a miscarriage after her mom had forced her to get the c*vid vax. And then after that, her menstrual cycle was totally screwed up and she could not get pregnant again. She was devastated and when she went to her doctor to tell him (rather emotionally) that the vax had killed her baby and totally fucked up her body, he wound up committing her to a psych ward for 72 hours (!!). (They literally carted her away against her will.)

By the time she and I met, she was in a really bad place, emotionally. But when she told me what had happened to her, I got her on an intensive natural supplement protocol to detox her body from the vax right away.

Within 2 months, her menstrual cycle got back to normal and she was thrilled. Just really, really happy.

And yesterday, I’m very happy to say, she gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby girl. Yay.

(I think this guy is smiling with me right now, from wherever he is.)

Jack Red Eagle, Lakota Sioux Medicine Man

************

And I think that’s it.

And in the back of my brain, I’m waiting to see which project I will undertake next — aside from my work with Sandra, that is. I have 2 memoirs in progress, 3 additional novels in progress, and a memoir that I haven’t even started yet, but that I’ve been making notes on for over a year already.

So we shall see.

Enjoy your Friday, gang, wherever you are in the world!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

**********

I leave you with this!

Strange as it may seem, but in its own way, it fueled the final pages of The Curse of Our Profound Disorder.

Michael Jackson, “In Our Small Way”, 1972. From his wonderful album, Got To Be There. Enjoy, gang.

“In Our Small Way”

Maybe you and I can’t do great things
We may not change the world in one day
But we still can change some things today
In our small way

Empty words are not enough
Where there’s hurt, we’ll be a crutch
When there’s thirst, we’ll fill each other’s cup
Because we care, we love
Enough to share (Enough to share)

[Chorus]
Maybe you and I can’t do great things (Do great things)
We may not change the world in one day
But we still can change some things today (Today)
In our small way

In despair, we’ll be the hope (Be the hope)
And the prayer that frees the soul (Frees the soul)
We’ll be there to share each lonely road (Lonely road)
Because we love, I know (I know)
We care enough, yeah (We care enough)

[Chorus]
Maybe you and I can’t do great things (Do great things)
We may not change the world in one day
But we still can change some things today (Today)
In our small way

[Bridge]
Just a little time is all it takes (Just a little time is all it takes)
What a difference just a smile can make, you’ll see (We’ve got)
Love is all we need (We’ve got love, yeah)

[Chorus]
Maybe you and I can’t do great things
We may not change the world in one day
(But we still) But we still can change some things today
In our small way
(La-la-la la-la-la-la-la) Ooh
(La-la-la-la la-la-la la-la) Ooh
(La-la)
(La-la la-la la-la-la-la-la)
(La-la-la-la la-la-la la-la)

c – 1972 Elliot Willensky, Christine Yarian, Beatrice Verdi

Let’s Get this Party Started!

September 20, 2025 marilyn jaye lewis Leave a comment

Somewhere. please. Let’s have a party already. So much cool stuff is happening! (But we’re not supposed to talk about it…)

Anyway.

I will just quickly post again that I am doing my very best to NOT TOUCH this current psyop. It seems exceedingly apparent that they want to push the chaos as far as they possibly can. The world over.

Hence, Phil’s really strange and (IMO intentionally) frustrating livestream last night. (You can watch it here.)

Personally, I am relying on Mike King right now, because he is quick and to the point (i.e., his latest: Fake Bibi Denies Fake Murder of Ch*rlie K**k). And Mike King doesn’t seem to be invested in this seeming mandate to push the chaos instead (although he does indeed acknowledge it.).

But on a slightly different note — I found this next bit extremely exciting.

FakeNews7 reposted it from Derek Johnson yesterday. It is really long so I’m only copying the part I liked best (since, obviously, I have basically invested my entire career in protecting the 1st Amendment):

“…But the importance is this is an Emergency Power by the President.

Restricting Telecommunications.

Title 47: Telecommunications.

PDJT has posted twice the Appeals Court upheld the Ban on Associated Press from being at White House and MAR.

Schiff confirms this.

A confirmation is more than the confirmation of the AP.

That’s confirmation of the Wartime Order in place.

47 United States Code §606 is titled: WAR POWERS of the President.

If they’re upholding a ban in 2025… it means the ban was put into place long before.

PDJT has HAMMERED ABC, NBC, CNN, PBS, NPR, and now they’re working on MSNBC.

The only way employees can be fired via a Freedom of Speech / Press is under a WARTIME ORDER.…”

[the full post is here]

****************

Okay. Onward.

Well, I’m a little bit frustrated because my new blue-light-blocking reader glasses already broke! The right side arm thingie snapped in two last night. And it turned out it was not easy to fix and now they are extremely uncomfortable to wear.

I’ve already ordered another pair — different company. Although I did read a lot of comments that these types of glasses, in general, break really easily.

I’m not going to get too upset about it, though. Because the main thing is that these blue-light-blocking readers have a made a HUGE difference in my eyes. And so quickly. And I’m just so glad to have them at all — even the broken ones. (And they are not expensive.)

***********

I’ve been wanting to post about this for a few days, but kept getting overwhelmed by my actual life. (As a caregiver, that is.)

Anyway.

It is a free online book event, one-hour. It will be recorded if you can’t attend the whole thing.

It is being offered by Internet Archives. It is FREE, 1 hr. Thursday, Sept. 25 at 1PM Eastern time.

Book Talk: After Disruption: A Future For Cultural Memory

“The digital age is burning out our most precious resources and the future of the past is at stake. In After Disruption: A Future for Cultural Memory, Trevor Owens warns that our institutions of cultural memory—libraries, archives, museums, humanities departments, research institutes, and more—have been “disrupted,” and largely not for the better. He calls for memory workers and memory institutions to take back control of envisioning the future of memory from management consultants and tech sector evangelists…” (more at link below)

Get your FREE ticket here.

************

This photo alone made my entire evening!

An update from Wayne’s outing with his brothers yesterday:

Honestly, I cannot believe these guys are all officially in their 70s now. When Wayne and I first got married, they were all in their late 30s…

************

And here’s this!

First–

Keith, in Berlin in 1973:

And second–

I kept forgetting to post this, too:

The Rolling Stones Have 13 New Songs Ready — A Mysterious Album Is “Nearly Finished” — (3 minutes)

“The Stones aren’t done yet. Insiders confirm that 13 brand-new tracks have already been recorded for their next album. Mick Jagger says they’re “three-quarters through,” while Marlon Richards insists it’s “nearly finished.” No title, no artwork, no release date — just the silence before the storm. When it drops, it won’t just be an album. It will be an event.”

************

And the good news on the caregiving front is that my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man’s family goes back home this morning.

So life gets back to normal today. (They’re coming back in October, but we’ll deal with that in October.)

I’m anticipating a quiet day with him today. We shall soon see.

The Agency asked me to pick up a new client on Monday, my day off, and since I need the money, I said okay. The drive there and back is on one of those really beautiful backroads here in Muskingum County, so that part will be nice, except that it’s supposed to rain on Monday. But we’ll see how it goes.

It will probably be pretty even in the rain, right?

***************

And I think that is it for now.

Enjoy your Saturday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

**************

Driving to town music from yesterday!

Yes, I’m still playing the soundtrack to Pack Up the Planation LIVE 1985, by Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers.

They do a great live version of this song — written by John & Joan Sebastian, but the Everly Brothers had a hit with it in 1972.

“The Stories We Could Tell”. Live, by Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, at the Hammersmith Odeon, London, 1985. Enjoy, gang!

“The Stories We Could Tell”

Talkin’ to myself again
Wondering if this travelin’ is good
Is there something better we’d be doing if we could
And oh the stories we could tell
And if this all blows up and goes to hell
I can still see us sittin on the bed in some motel
Listenin’ to the stories we could tell

Remember that guitar in a museum in Tennessee
And the nameplate on the glass brought back twenty melodies
And the scratches on the face
Told of all the times he fell
Singin’ every story he could tell
And oh the stories it could tell
And I bet you it still rings like a bell
And I wish we could sit back on the bed in some motel
And listen to the stories we could tell

So if you’re on the road tracking down here every night
And you’re singin’ for a livin’ ‘neath the brightly colored lights
And if you ever wonder why you ride this carousel
You did it for the stories you could tell
And oh the stories we could tell

And if this all blows up and goes to hell
I can still see us sittin on the bed in some motel
Listenin’ to the stories we could tell
I can still see us sittin on the bed in some motel
Listenin’ to the stories we could tell

c- 1972 – John and Joan Sebastian

Yes, Today’s the Big Day!

September 18, 2025 marilyn jaye lewis Leave a comment

Wherein I drive to a really beautiful small town, 30 miles from here, called Coshocton. And I have my very first doctor’s appointment in 24 years….

Not the doctor’s office…just a random shot of Coshocton

And even though it is another really stunning day here and the drive will be gorgeous, I will be very, very happy when the appointment is over.

I’m going to smile and be cheerful and cooperative, though, and not act like a Big-Pharma-Medical-Mafia-hating Conspiracy Theorist…

***********

So, this morning has been interesting. Guess who I heard from for the first time in 17 months??

The woman who is the actual owner of 5 of my cats. The ones that I call the “foster cats”.

It was really good to hear from her, primarily because I had feared the worst — that maybe she had passed away. I won’t go into why I thought that.

But she and her husband are getting their lives together now and will soon have an apartment of their own.

It would mean that all of their stuff would finally be out of my barn. And it of course would also mean that 5 of the cats will be out of my home.

Of course it breaks my heart, because now I love all of them, but it would also be a relief. Obviously. I have way too many cats.

We’ll see, though. Just because I heard from her, doesn’t mean I will hear from her again.

*************

Yesterday was a rough one, gang.

I was with my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man, and if you’ve read yesterday’s post, you know that he has family at the house this week, pretending to “winterize” his house, when really they are trying to fix it up to get it easier to get the house on the real estate market basically the minute he dies.

It is astounding to me that they don’t see that he totally knows what they’re doing. They don’t see what they’re putting him through, emotionally.

The only thing that’s “wrong” with him is short term memory loss. He can still perceive things. It was so hard for me to not show the family how angry I was with how they’re going about all this.

When I got there, there was total chaos all around the outside of the house, but he was inside, dressed, and sitting in his chair in the living room. He smiled and quietly said to me, “Get me away from them.”

So off we went to Peony Bistro for sashimi and sake, then we went to the Nature Preserve and just sat in the car for an hour. And he told me everything that he fears is getting ready to happen. And most of his fears, I felt, were kind of right on the money…

I won’t go into all of it, but thankfully, my Supervisor from the Agency called me when I got home yesterday, so that I could “update her” while getting everything off my chest (and eventually calm down). She was so supportive.

Yes, he is losing his interest in living. But that doesn’t mean take his house right out from under him. (His house and property are worth a fortune.)

**************

Okay.

This arrived in the mail yesterday!

In the recent zoom call with his private Patreon group, James Tabor spent some time going over this film from 2002.

It aired on the History Channel (2002), and it was directed by Simcha Jacobovici, who is a close friend and colleague of James Tabor’s, and whose work I really enjoy.

Even though a lot of things have come to light about this ossuary since 2002 (great things!), I am still looking forward to watching it.

************

But meanwhile, I am re-watching THIS and just loving it:

Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers – Pack Up the Plantation Live! 1985 (1 hr 37 mins):

And I’m also listening to the soundtrack of it in my car. (Yes, I am no longer listening to “songs I played a lot 6 years ago” but that does not mean I graduated past 1985…)

When Tom Petty sang live he was incredible. He usually gave a whole different emotional spin to his songs than what came across on the studio recordings. And the songs still sound so immediate and personal — and like he hasn’t been dead for almost 8 years already.

This track, where he (and the audience) sing “Breakdown” is really well known, but I especially love all the stuff he says/sings at the end!

***********

And I listened to this while getting dinner ready last night and I thought it was fantastic. I especially loved the part about “Now.” (At about the 6-minute mark) (Ignore the title, that’s just click-bait.)

🌟 Get Ready for WILD Blessings – The Universe Is About to Amaze You 👑 Abraham Hicks 2025 (15 mins):

**********

And here’s this!!

For no reason. Just because!!

Nick Cave.

This will absolutely NOT be my attitude in the doctor’s office today!!

************

Phil is planning to go live tonight at 9PM, but check here later to confirm!

************

And that is it for now. I need to get some stuff done before heading out to Coshocton.

And then once I’m back from Coshocton, I hope to get some writing done!!

Enjoy your Thursday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

**********

Yes, as you saw yesterday, my breakfast-listening music is not too different from what I’m listening to in the car right now!!

Breakfast-listening music!!

From 2015. A collection of Live Radio Broadcasts from the 1970s. And I’m mainly listening to the 3rd CD right now, because it has a lot of live duets with Bob Dylan.

Since it is essentially Fall now, I decided it was time to move on from The Monkees and go back to Tom Petty.

When he played live, he covered a lot of songs that had been hits by other artists. Here he sings with Bob Dylan — a favorite song of mine by John Hiatt & Ry Cooder, “Across the Borderline.” Enjoy, gang.

“Across the Borderline”

There’s a place where I’ve been told
Every street is paved with gold
And it’s just across the borderline
And when it’s time to take your turn
Here’s a lesson that you must learn
You could lose more than you’ll ever hope to find

[Chorus]
When you reach the broken promised land
And every dream slips through your hands
Then you’ll know that it’s too late to change your mind
‘Cause you’ve paid the price to come so far
Just to wind up where you are
And you’rе still just across the borderline

Up and down thе Rio Grande
A thousand footprints in the sand
Reveal a secret no one can define
The river flows on like a breath
In between our life and death
Tell me, who’s the next to cross the borderline?

[Chorus]
And when you reach the broken promised land
Every dream slips through your hands
And you’ll know it’s too late to change your mind
‘Cause you pay the price to come so far
Just to wind up where you are
And you’re still just across the borderline
Now you’re still just across the borderline

c – 1982 John Hiatt, Ry Cooder, Jim Dickinson

All righty! Happy Wednesday!

September 17, 2025 marilyn jaye lewis Leave a comment

Wow, yesterday was so amazing around here.

But first, here’s this:

A friend over in Newark sent me this shot she took of the candlelight vigil in the Square last night. It looks like it was a complete success!

*************

And before I forget–

Phil is supposed to be going live tonight, starting at 10PM eastern time. Be sure to check here later to confirm.

**************

Nick Cave was back with his Red Hand Files yesterday! And what a great one it was, too. Brief, but he explained everything he’s been up to during his break from the Files, and he said the Red Hand Files is now officially 7 years old (!!) — and also, he answered a question about love & freedom, saying in part:

“I thought on your question, Mies, ‘Did love mean freedom to me?’ I reflected on the things that matter most to me on this earth – my family, friends, those within my sphere of influence, my music, my writing, my spiritual life, and the health of the world in general, all these elements that, together, constitute a life lived lovingly. Mies, these things seem far from freedom. Instead, they are forms of containment that place demands upon us, sometimes greatly so. The pursuit of love involves feelings of duty and responsibility, as well as sacrifice, hard work, resilience, patience, forgiveness, and understanding. These are the structural bonds within which supreme love can flourish…“

You can read it in full HERE.

************

Tomorrow, I ostensibly have another day off.

However.

Since being put on Medicare when I turned 65, I now have to have “a doctor.” And since next Thursday, a nurse from the insurance company is coming to my house to give me my “annual check-up” (insurance-speak for “we might not want to insure you if you don’t let us come over”), I have to have the doctor in place by then.

I am not a fan of traditional medicine, as all of you probably know by now. And I have not been to a doctor in 24 years. But back when I was on Welfare — during the fake lockdowns — they put me on Medicaid and assigned me a doctor “near me”. (30 miles away.)

When I was finally able to get off Welfare, I looked into the doctor they had assigned me and I actually liked his credentials! He has a degree from the University of Pikeville, in Kentucky (!!), where most of my ancestors are from. And more importantly — the University of Pikeville teaches Osteopathic Medicine (and is connected to a Presbyterian Church). (FYI: “Osteopathic medicine is a distinct branch of healthcare that emphasizes the body’s inherent ability to heal itself. “)

So I made a note of the doctor’s name and phone number, etc., and decided that if I was ever forced to have a doctor, he would be it.

And now that I’m forced to have a doctor, when insurance/medical-type people ask me who my doctor is, I always say him but I haven’t actually ever met him.

But tomorrow afternoon, I will be meeting him. Officially. And he will become “my doctor.” So that everything can go smoothly when the insurance-nurse comes next week. And then they can go back to leaving me alone for another year.

(If you know me AT ALL, you know that I’m just super thrilled about all of this — having to give ANY of my free time to doctors and insurance companies. However, on we go.)

*********

On a related note…

If you know me at all, then you also know that I am 100% totally into natural healing. And I always have been, even though for the first 40 years of my life, I also went through the motions of “going to doctors”. Then I basically gave up and said, I need a different path…

In my current novel-in-progress, The Curse of Our Profound Disorder, there is a character based in certain key ways on a Lakota Sioux Medicine Man, Jack Red Eagle, that I knew briefly back in the mid-1980s.

At that time, he had left the Reservation in Oklahoma and was living in a cabin in the woods outside of Nacogdoches, TX. And he was a practicing Medicine Man. He was in his early 60s and looking for someone to train to take over his practice. He wanted to retire. He thought I had what it took to be a Medicine Woman.

We corresponded briefly, I went to Texas, it turned out I was really good at it, and it freaked me the fuck out because I was only 24 years old… (plus I was a singer-songwriter in NYC. I couldn’t see myself moving to a cabin in the woods in East Texas to heal people when I hadn’t even learned yet how to heal myself).

Anyway. So I have a character in my novel, created around Jack Red Eagle. And I created that character 26 years ago, when I first started writing (almost all of) this novel.

As I’ve been revising the novel, and moving forward with it, I had toyed with the idea of changing the character’s name to Jake instead of Jack — but I kept coming back to the very strong feeling that the character’s name needed to be Jack (my character is Jack Kicking Eagle, and he’s in his 30s). And as I first read over the novel, after not having read it in 26 years, I was sort of overwhelmed by how spiritual the character was.

Anyway. I have to focus now on the ending of the novel. And so I do a lot of sitting and staring. And yesterday, I kept getting the feeling that I should dig out those old letters from Jack Red Eagle and read over them. I hadn’t read them in 40 years.

So I finally went and dug them out of storage. And WOW. They blew me away. Not just the unbelievable similarities between what the real Jack believed and what my character believes (like, verbatim, after not having read those letters in 40 years), I was also overwhelmed by what a high opinion Jack Red Eagle had had in my mental/spiritual abilities to heal, way back then.

In fact, he had told me that he was certain I had Native American blood in me (because of certain things I was just sort of eerily familiar with), and this was a few years before I met my birth father and discovered I was indeed descended, in part, from the Black Foot Indian Nation in Montana.

I googled Jack Red Eagle yesterday, and found out he had died back in 1992. And he is buried here, in a very, very old cemetery in Nacogdoches:

And then, of course, through all of this, I kept feeling like he was communicating with me (in spirit) and once I found out he was actually dead, then I knew he was.

And then I “found” a photo of him that I didn’t know I had.

And then I found a frame that it fit into and so I framed it and put it on my bedroom wall! (It’s over by my ministerial ordination certifications.)

Anyway. Wow. Suddenly, he was back in my life and I got the profound feeling that it was HIS essence that had been telling me that the character in the novel had to stay as Jack and not be changed to Jake.

And once I saw — after reading over the original letters yesterday — that my character already had all of the real Jack’s beliefs, etc., I was kind of overjoyed about all of it.

Anyway. Long story short:

Jack Red Eagle, back in my life after 40 years!

************

Okay, I gotta scoot!!!

I gotta head to town and see my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man. And he has family in town today, “winterizing” the house — and this is making my Japanese man very unhappy. He feels like they just want him to die so they can sell the house…

I’m guessing it will be an emotionally tricky day. I’m hoping to just whisk him off to Peony Bistro, and get sashimi and sake. We’ll see how that goes.

Meanwhile. Have a wonder-filled Wednesday, wherever you are in the world!!

Thanks for visting.

I love you guys. See ya!

**********

Breakfast-listening music!!

Yes, you guessed it!! Too fucking FUN!! (I have it on a bootleg CD, with better sound quality).

Bob Dylan’s classic, Everybody Must Get Stoned, by Tom Petty live NYC! Enjoy, gang.

It sure is hitting the fan, isn’t it?

September 14, 2025 marilyn jaye lewis Leave a comment

But I am seriously not gonna go there.

I think I have an idea of the script they might be working from, an overview maybe? — they are pushing utter chaos. From all corners. And multiplied by the National Guard already in place in — what? — 19 States?

I’m not touching it. But it’s looking pretty good. IMO.

*********

Meanwhile.

Here’s more from the Stones in the RCA recording studio in Los Angeles in 1965 (photos by Gered Mankowitz)–

I love how (the late-great) Ian Stewart is looking right at the camera:

And just FYI, Keith was barely 22 years old in 1965!!

************

Before I forget–

Ever since I upgraded to the iPhone 16e, my eyes have really been killing me. Even though the phone goes to “night” during the night, I can’t do the “night” setting all day long. It also hurts my eyes. And I have the brightness turned down as low as I reasonably can while still being able to see the screen…

I have a blue-light filter on my laptop, but I can’t find one on the iPhone 16e.

So I bought a pair of those “reader” glasses that filter out blue light and, WOW, gang! Immediately, my eyes felt so much better.

Not while looking at the phone — my eyes didn’t bother me while I was looking at the phone, it was when I was done looking at the phone and trying to live the rest of my life. My eyes were really going downhill fast.

These blue light blockers instantaneously made a difference in how everything looks when I’m done looking at the phone. I am so glad I decided to try them.

*************

I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.

I said I wasn’t going to keep posting photos of Nick Cave from now until January 17th, when the next tour starts…

But here’s this!

Just so beautiful. And not just the hair…

************

And as for everything else…

I got a couple of loads of laundry underway here. And I also have to do some quick vacuuming.

Then it’s all about The Curse of our Profound Disorder until I have to leave for my shift with the retired Minister and his lovely wife later this afternoon!

Then 3 more days off this coming week!

Yes, I have no clue how I can afford to live on 4 shifts a week for the remainder of the month, but I guess we’re gonna find out!!

I really, really, really need to get the novel done, so that I can send it off and then focus on the upcoming projects with Sandra.

And as soon as I can tell you more about all this, I will!

***********

And I think that’s it.

Have a beautiful Sunday wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

*********

I leave you with this!!

Yes, I have now moved to the playlist of “songs I was listening to 6 years ago”. As if 5 years ago wasn’t enough of a mindfuck… (Who on Earth thought up this idea to create playlists of songs I had in heavy rotation so many years ago??)

Well, first off, it’s heavy on the Tom Petty. And Nick Cave. And Lyle Lovett.

But I leave you with this!

Another treasure from my wee bonny girlhood, that apparently I was once again re-visiting heavily when I was 59.

“Father and Son” by Cat Stevens, from his 1970 album, Tea for the Tillerman.

I really, really loved this song when I was about 12, alone in my room. I’m guessing you can readily grasp why. But it’s interesting that all these years later, when it came on the playlist while I was driving to town yesterday — I realized I can still relate, but now from the other side.

Okay. Enjoy, gang,

“Father and Son”

[Father]
It’s not time to make a change
Just relax, take it easy
You’re still young, that’s your fault
There’s so much you have to know
Find a girl, settle down
If you want you can marry
Look at me
I am old, but I’m happy
I was once like you are now
And I know that it’s not easy
To be calm
When you’ve found something going on
But take your time, think a lot
Why, think of everything you’ve got
For you will still be here tomorrow
But your dreams may not

[Son]
How can I try to explain?
When I do, he turns away again
It’s always been the same
Same old story
From the moment I could talk
I was ordered to listen
Now there’s a way
And I know that I have to go away
I know, I have to go

[Father & (Son)]
It’s not time to make a change (Away, away, away)
Just sit down, take it slowly
You’re still young, that’s your fault (I know)
There’s so much you have to go through (I have to make this decision)
Find a girl, settle down (Alone)
If you want you can marry
Look at me (No)
I am old, but I’m happy

[ Son & (Father)]
All the times that I’ve cried (Stay, stay, stay)
Keeping all the things I knew inside
It’s hard
But it’s harder to ignore it (Why must you go)
If they were right, I’d agree (And make this decision)
But it’s them they know, not me (Alone)
Now there’s a way
And I know that I have to go away
I know, I have to go

c – 1970 – Cat Stevens/ Yusuf

Just a quick howdy from the Hinterlands

September 13, 2025 marilyn jaye lewis Leave a comment

If you saw my update from late yesterday afternoon, you can guess that I am in good spirits around here.

I am of course very aware of all that is going on out in the rest of the world. If you have followed this blog for any amount of time, you already know what side I’m on and what I am likely to believe right now.

I think it is an astounding plan and I am quietly amazed by how well it’s going. That’s all I really want to post about it, though.

From Mike King —

“***Nice work, ‘Charlie.’ Enjoy your new life.***“

************

Other than that, things really are quiet around here. But that’s an okay thing.

I’m heading out soon to see my favorite 95-year-old Japanese man. I am trying to get the very most out of every moment with him these days, gang, because he is definitely expressing — in no uncertain terms — that he has had a really wonderful life and he is “ready to go upstairs”. And since his recent 95th birthday, his energy is definitely changing,

His private nurse is trying hard to come up with ways to change his outlook; to re-engage him. But she thinks like a nurse, and I think like a minister. Obviously, I will feel a true emptiness whenever it is that he ends up crossing over. I have enjoyed every single moment of knowing him.

However, I feel it is my duty to him to support his flow, his journey, to simply be beside him in the moments he has left here. Not to fight against his spirit. So my concentration these days is just in being there with him and sharing in all the joy he remembers from a life that has been very well lived.

But it is intense, gang — that moment when I walk in his kitchen door now. One of these days, and obviously we don’t know when, but one of these days everything will be over.

Meanwhile…

***********

Here’s this.

A fun photo of Keith and Charlie, taken in the RCA recording studio in Los Angeles, in 1965. Photo by Gered Mankowitz.

**********

And I guess I’m not going to post a photo of Nick Cave every single day between now and January 17th, when the Bad Seeds’ tour of Australia gets underway, so we can just part with this, for now:

Nick and Conway. Doing what we all loved doing back then!

I’m guessing there will be photos on Sept. 23rd. We shall see!

Meanwhile, Autumn is really right around the corner now. Summer is done.

**********

I’m going to try to get a tiny bit of editing work done on The Curse of Our Profound Disorder before I head to town this morning, so I’m gonna scoot.

Enjoy your Saturday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

***********

I leave you with this!

This song is the ONLY song on the playlist from “songs I was listening to 5 years ago” that was actually a new song 5 years ago!

The absolutely only song! And the playlist lasts one hour.

I really loved the Ghosteen album when it came out. So much. But as time goes on, I just find that it gets sadder and sadder for me, and it is so hard to listen to.

When this song came on, it surprised me that it was on the list. And the intensity of the song was just sort of spellbinding.

Anyway. I leave you with a song that was actually a new song, 5 years ago!

Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, “Waiting for You”, 2019. From Ghosteen. Enjoy, gang.

“Waiting for You”

All through the night we drove
And the wind caught her hair
And we parked on the beach
In the cool evening air
Well, sometimes it’s better not to say anything at all

Your body is an anchor
Never asked to be free
Just want to stay in the business
Of making you happy
Well, I’m just waiting for you
Waiting for you
Waiting for you
Waiting for you
Waiting for you
Waiting for you

A priest runs through the chapel
All the calendars are turning
A Jesus freak on the street
Says He is returning
Well, sometimes a little bit of faith
Can go a long, long way

Your soul is my anchor
I never asked to be freed
Well, sleep now, sleep now
Take as long as you need
Cause I’m just waiting for you
Waiting for you
Waiting for you
Waiting for you
Waiting for you
Waiting for you
To return
To return
To return

c – 2019 Nick Cave

Think

September 11, 2025 marilyn jaye lewis Leave a comment

That’s all I’m going to post about yesterday.

Tonight, Phil goes live at 7PM. Primarily because today is the anniversary of 9-11. But also, because of Charlie Kirk.

Check here later to confirm, but I seriously HOPE he does not cancel.

**************

Okay.

I’m posting late because Bobby McGee and Freddie McFee had their post-surgery follow-up visit to the vet this morning, and they passed with flying colors.

They are now free to go on with their frisky little lives!

************

Okay.

So as of this moment, I have the rest of the day off.

I’ve already taken my walk — and, wow, what a gorgeous morning it is out there. Unbelievable.

I sure could use an afternoon, hanging with my Q-following friend at Tequilaville — yesterday wore us both out.

But as luck would have it, we’re having lunch together on Monday — to belatedly celebrate her recent birthday — at Three Tigers Brewing Co in Granville!! So I’m just going to hang around here today and write.

***********

Here’s this.

From Instagram yesterday–

I’m posting this because he was my cousin. He was actually first cousins with my Grandma — my favorite person on Earth. Their fathers were brothers. They all came over from Poland together, in the early 1900s.

Star of stage & screen in the 1930s & 40s, John Garfield:

Oh, and here’s this:

“…Near the end of his life, in an effort to clear his name, Garfield began work on an article for Look magazine, in which he would denounce communism without “naming names”; his lawyer advised him to concede that he had been “duped” into contributing time and money to communist front groups.^[11] He then arranged to meet with the FBI to press his case. At the meeting, however, the FBI representatives showed him a dossier on his wife Roberta (known as “Robbe”), which included her old Communist Party membership card and cancelled checks to events sponsored by the party, and said that the FBI would clear him if he signed a statement betraying Robbe as a Communist. Garfield instead responded with an angry expletive and walked out of the meeting.^[11] Writer and director Abraham Polonsky, who worked with him on two films, stated that Garfield ‘defended his street boy’s honor and they killed him for it.‘”

[Hmmm… murdered for his alleged politics. Where have we heard that before?]

Oh, and here’s a photo of me and my older brother with my Grandma, my above-mentioned favorite person on Earth, on the shores of Lake Erie, in Cleveland, in 1966.

And just for your information — she was raped to death (her heart exploded) in her hospital bed, after open-heart surgery, at age 89. In Cleveland. My favorite person on Earth.

The shit never stops, does it, gang?

***********

Onward.

Okay.

From last night’s sold out show in Luxembourg!

The alleged set list, but it seems that sometimes they veer from the official list. Still, the fantastic enocre (sometimes known as “an encore”) continues:

And Nick (and Colin) apparently took in some art yesterday. Here’s Nick:

And also —

Nick with a happy fan yesterday:

No, I’m not going to say a single solitary THING about how short his hair is here… I’m only going to say that whoever is in charge of ensuring his hair is *never* above his shoulders, needs to be re-assigned to a different task, pronto.

Okay! And from the actual show!!

And tonight, is the FINAL show of the tour!!

I suddenly got extremely tired…

***********

And here’s this again, just because, gang, you have no idea how much this is helping me move forward around here! It’s taped to my wall now, by my desk, and I read it constantly. And I work on the novel.

*********
And that’s it for now.

I love you guys. Let’s just hang in there.

And enjoy our Thursday, wherever we are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

See ya.

**********

Again, from the playlist of 5 years ago!!

Kind of suits today, doesn’t it?

Don Henley, “The End of the Innocence”. 1989. From the album of the same name. Play it quietly. Look up at the sky. Remember everything you’ve ever known in your life. And then enjoy, gang.

“The End Of The Innocence”

Remember when the days were long
And rolled beneath a deep blue sky
Didn’t have a care in the world
With mommy and daddy standin’ by
But “happily ever after” fails
And we’ve been poisoned by these fairy tales
The lawyers dwell on small details
Since daddy had to fly

But I know a place where we can go
That’s still untouched by men
We’ll sit and watch the clouds roll by
And the tall grass waves in the wind
You can lay your head back on the ground
And let your hair fall all around me
Offer up your best defense
But this is the end
This is the end of the innocence

O’ beautiful, for spacious skies
But now those skies are threatening
They’re beating plowshares into swords
For this tired old man that we elected king
Armchair warriors often fail
And we’ve been poisoned by these fairy tales
The lawyers clean up all details
Since daddy had to lie

But I know a place where we can go
And wash away this sin
We’ll sit and watch the clouds roll by
And the tall grass waves in the wind
Just lay your head back on the ground
And let your hair spill all around me
Offer up your best defense
But this is the end
This is the end of the innocence

Who knows how long this will last
Now we’ve come so far, so fast
But, somewhere back there in the dust
That same small town in each of us
I need to remember this
So baby give me just one kiss
And let me take a long last look
Before we say goodbye

Just lay your head back on the ground
And let your hair fall all around me
Offer up your best defense
But this is the end
This is the end of the innocence

c – 1989 – Don Henley, Bruce Hornsby

A happy Wednesday from the Hinterlands!

September 10, 2025 marilyn jaye lewis Leave a comment

Well, the writing went great yesterday. And one of the great things about when writing goes great — is being able to read it over afterwards and realize it still needs work.

To me, that’s a good thing — knowing when I’ve got something but it could still be tighter.

I’m going to try to get back to it quickly here this morning, because I’ve got back-to-back shifts again today and won’t have time to do any writing when I get back here later tonight.

However, it will be 2 great shifts today!

My favorite 95-year-old Japanese client!!

Followed by enough time to stop for lunch again HERE:

OOPS! Of course, I meant HERE — at the Subway that’s around the corner from where my adorable client Molly used to live:

And BTW, they play the best music there — Classic Country. The real stuff, from the old days!

And then, off to my next favorite client — the retired Chaplain who is back from Florida!!

************

Okay!

Finished watching the documentary “Sad Vacation — The Last Days of Sid and Nancy'” last night. It was sad, but good. Definitely a trip down Memory Lane. Not a particularly happy trip, but it did bring back memories.

While watching it, I suddenly recalled that I was away at college when all that happened to Sid and Nancy. I remember how shocking it was back then (Fall, 1978).

I went to college so briefly (3 months) that it was sort of shocking just to think I have any memories at all from that time away at school. But I do.

I hated college — my parents forced me to go. All I really wanted to do was go to NYC and be a singer-songwriter, but they both were, like: NO. You’re going to college.

I was really smart, and graduated in the top of my class in high school — was one of 2 Valedictorians. Graduated with Honors, etc. But that didn’t mean I wanted to keep doing it. At all. I absolutely hated school.

Anyway. So I was forced to go to college — I went here:

I made every effort to attend classes but the classes were so fucking boring. Honestly, the old TV show from 1969, Room 222, was way more interesting than college was!! Honestly. It really was. And it was a show about high school. (What a great show.)

So I eventually said: Fuck this. And quit going to classes and mostly stayed around my dorm room and watched reruns of M*A*S*H…

…and just generally got drunk with my roommates in the evenings (they were all studying to be Engineers). (Oh, and the ubiquitous sex and sex and sex and sex….) (with both guys and gals) (It was the 1970s, after all…)

Until it was time to go home for Christmas and I informed my family that I had dropped out.

They were super excited to hear that!

HOWEVER– after a quick move out to California (hated it there, too), and then back to Ohio to work in a factory (hated it there, too) — I eventually wound up in NYC — YAY!!. Became a singer-songwriter– YAY!!

AND– got a degree in Audio Engineering there in 1981, as luck would have it. Top of my class.

*********

Okay!!

I did start watching “Room 37: The Mysterious Death of Johnny Thunders” last night. It is intense. I can tell it’s going to be creepy, but that’s all I can discern, so far.

***********

And now I gotta scoot, so here’s this!!

TONIGHT!!

In Luxembourg!! The first of 2 sold out shows and then Nick Cave’s Solo Tour of Europe with Colin Greenwood on bass comes to a close!!

So, wake up and get moving, gang!! It’s almost showtime!!

Probably my most favorite photo of Nick Cave and Rowland S. Howard from the old days. Here, they are *most likely* thinking about how boring college is…

**************

And that’s it. I’m outta here!

Enjoy your Wednesday, wherever you are in the world!!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

*************

I leave you with this!!

Another song from that playlist of songs I was listening to 5 years ago!!! (That playlist is a real mindfuck, gang, but in the best way.)

Bruce Springsteen, “The Price You Pay”, 1980. From his fantastic album, The River. Which, as fate would have it, came out right before I moved to NYC!! Okay. Enjoy, gang.

“The Price You Pay”

You make up your mind, you choose the chance you take
You ride to where the highway ends and the desert breaks
Out on to an open road, you ride until the day
You learn to sleep at night with the price you pay

Now with their hands held high, they reached out for the open skies
And in one last breath, they built the roads they’d ride to their death
Driving on through the night, unable to break away
From the restless pull of the price you pay

Oh, the price you pay, oh, the price you pay
Now you can’t walk away from the price you pay

Now they come so far and they’ve waited so long
Just to end up caught in a dream where everything goes wrong
Where the dark of night holds back the light of the day
And you’ve gotta stand and fight for the price you pay

Oh, the price you pay, oh, the price you pay
Now you can’t walk away from the price you pay

Little girl, down on the strand with that pretty little baby in your hands
Do you remember the story of the promised land?
How he crossed the desert sands and could not enter the chosen land
On the banks of the river, he stayed to face the price you pay

So let the game start, you better run, you little wild heart
You can run through all the nights and all the days
But just across the county line, a stranger passing through put up a sign
That counts the men fallen away to the price you pay
And girl, before the end of the day
I’m gonna tear it down and throw it away

c – 1980 Bruce Springsteen

A Terrific Tuesday is Underway!

September 9, 2025 marilyn jaye lewis Leave a comment

I don’t know about you, gang, but I slept great last night.

Part of it was because of the weather. Part of it was because I knew I had another day off today (yes– the Agency has texted me 3 times already to pick up shifts on my days off, but I have declined all of them).

Most of it, though, is because I’m getting such great work done on the novel-in-progress, The Curse of Our Profound Disorder.

Even though I managed to take a walk yesterday, do yoga, and listen to another lecture in the course about Protestant Reformation, I was still able to get 6 hours of work done at my desk on the novel.

To me, that’s heaven.

And during dinner, I started to watch this — I’m about halfway through:

I follow one of the producers of the film on Instagram and she posted something about the film yesterday, so I started watching it.

It’s a documentary from 2016, that pretty convincingly proposes that Sid Vicious did not kill Nancy. That basically the NYPD didn’t want to waste time investigating a death involving a bunch of junkies.

It’s a sad movie, but it’s really good:

“Sad Vacation is an up close and personal account of the tumultuous and stormy relationship between Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen and how it ended in Room 100 of the Chelsea Hotel. This films pulls no punches and reveals the facts through personal friends, insiders and witnesses. Includes interviews with Sylvain Sylvain (New York Dolls), Bob Gruen, Walter Lure and many more.”

Trailer:

Next movie up, will be this one:

Room 37: The Mysterious Death of Johnny Thunders

From 2019:

“Famed rock and roll guitarist Johnny Thunders arrives in New Orleans to attempt to put his life back together after a battle with addiction, but instead, a series of events propels him deeper into chaos.”

It didn’t get great reviews, but I’ve been wanting to watch it for a while now, since I really loved everything about the NY Dolls — the good, the bad, and the ugly. So I decided it will be next in line, finally.

Trailer:

**************

And here’s this–

I loved these guys!

I was so sad when River Phoenix died. It’s one of those days I’ll never forget, actually.

My Own Private Idaho (1991) is one of my all-time favorite films.

I pretty much loved all the films Gus Van Sant has made.

Many years after “Idaho”, I found myself working in the home office of Gus Van Sant, Sr. (Gus’s dad), at a time in his life when he and his wife were living in Ohio. I got the job solely because I was a writer from NYC, and I was friends with the woman who cut Gus Sr.’s hair out at his golf club.

I didn’t ask for the job, he simply asked me if I wanted to work for him, because he needed help at the office.

It turned out that Gus Sr. was Gus Jr.’s Business Manager, so I learned a lot about the business end of film financing at that job. But beyond that, Gus Sr. was an incredible man. Unbelievably kind and supportive. One afternoon, the subject of River Phoenix came up and Gus Sr. said to me: “We all had dinner one night, while they were filming ‘Idaho’. And that young man was very troubled.”

That was all he said and it spoke volumes.

*******

Anyway.

Here’s this!

More shots on Instagram from the new Dior “Sauvage” campaign. However, you know the rules, gang — if he’s not smoking we can never be 100% positive it’s really Johnny Depp. It could be a body double. Heck, it could be AI for all we know:

(And this reminds me — when are we going to be able to watch “Modi: Three Days on the Wing of Madness” on Amazon Prime in the US??)

***********

And here’s this!

From outside the Baden-Baden show the other night — Nick Cave and an automobile!

And TOMORROW!!

Nick Cave’s Solo Tour of Europe with Colin Greenwood on bass begins to come to a close! 2 back-to-back sold out shows begin in Luxembourg, and then the tour is over.

(But see yesterday’s post about what is up for Nick Cave on Sept. 23rd!)

**********

And that is it, I think.

I want to get back to the novel. I am really excited to see what hits the page today!

And FYI, I printed out that Kerouac quote I posted yesterday and I taped it to the wall in front of my desk. And it really, really does just keep making me smile, gang. I feel like the spirit of Kerouac is really in there, cheering me on.

BTW, the quote is taken from a story in a collection of his unpublished works that came out in 1999 — Atop an Underwood: Early Stories and Other Writings:

“It includes writings from Kerouac’s high school years, poetry, short stories, essays and other previously unpublished works. “

If you’re too young to know what an Underwood was , it was a popular brand of typewriter. I have since ordered the book! I can’t wait to read it.

***********

And that’s that!

Have a terrific Tuesday, wherever you are in the world!

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

*************

I leave you with this! Breakfast-listening music!!

Still on a Monkees kick around here, but we are up to their 3rd album — another great one! The Monkees — Headquarters (1967). It was a #1 Album on Billboard and it went double-platinum.

This was the first album of theirs that I was able to buy with my own money. My Aunt Sylvia gave me a birthday card in the summer of 1967 (also known historically as The Summer of Love!!) that included a 5 dollar bill in it!! Wow, was I excited! Back then, you could buy record albums for under $5. So I bought Headquarters for myself, for my 7th birthday.

This song was amazing back then — and really appropriate, politically, for 1967 — and it’s kind of even more amazing now. All politics aside. A real gem, written by the famous songwriting duo Barry Mann and Cynthia Weil.

“Shades of Gray”, 1967. The Monkees. Enjoy, gang.

“Shades of Gray”

When the world and I were young
Just yesterday
Life was such a simple game
A child could play

It was easy then to tell right from wrong
Easy then to tell weak from strong
When a man should stand and fight
Or just go along

[Chorus]
But today there is no day or night
Today there is no dark or light
Today there is no black or white
Only shades of gray

I remember when
The answers seemed so clear
We had never lived with doubt
Or tasted fear

It was easy then to tell truth from lies
Selling out from compromise
Who to love and who to hate
The foolish from the wise

But today there is no day or night
Today there is no dark or light
Today there is no black or white
Only shades of gray

[Instrumental Break]

It was easy then to know what was fair
When to keep and when to share
How much to protect your heart
And how much to care

But today there is no day or night
Today there is no dark or light
Today there is no black or white
Only shades of gray

[Outro]
Only shades of gray

c-1967 – Barry Mann, Cynthia Weil

Saying Goodbye to Summer

September 7, 2025 marilyn jaye lewis Leave a comment

Technically, we still have about 2 more weeks until summer officially ends, but wow, gang. Summer is like gone around here.

Down into the 40s Fahrenheit every night now. Furnace is on in the mornings. Leaves are starting to change color and fall to the ground (or all over my car, depending on where it’s parked).

In the afternoons, it still gets up into the 70s, so it’s really nice. But at the same time, it no longer feels like summer at all.

************

Okay.

Not much to post about today, because I am still in that really weird mood — not depressed, really, but just sort of dumbfounded by how fast time flies and how everything just keeps changing and changing and changing.

I know it’s supposed to be this way, but for some reason, ever since my dad died, everything feels sort of pointless. As if — why do things happen at all if everything is just always changing?

And yet underneath it all, is the current of things that constantly stay the same. For instance, my coffee mug here on my desk right now: A souvenir from Chicago, when I took a trip there with Mark Pritchard in 1999…

THAT stuff doesn’t change, but that also dumbfounds me — how can this coffee mug be 26 years old already???

It has moved with me seven times!

Everything important changes — like the homes and the people and the cats who were with me in them — but the coffee mugs stay the same…

Honestly, stuff like that is all over my brain these days.

*********

And speaking of everything changing–

Here’s this.

The no-longer-with-us David Johansen in his glam rock period:

Richard Hell (of the bands Television, and the Voidoids)– who is, miraculously, still alive. In NYC, in 1977:

**********

And here’s this!!

While we wait for the 2 sold out shows in Luxembourg next week (9/10 and 9/11), which will signify the end of Nick Cave’s Solo Tour of Europe with Colin Greenwood on bass!

From my desktop stash!

Nick Cave — just waiting. And smoking. And looking good while doing it…

**********

From James Tabor– more from the upcoming New Testament Conference, online at the end of the month..

Did Jesus Really Do Miracles? Dr. Dale Allison Weights In (39 mins):

*********

And that’s all.

I want to take a look at the novel-in-progress before Sandra calls to discuss the play. And then I’m heading out for my shift with the retired Minister and his lovely wife (and probably a couple of episodes of “Love Boat” and “Daniel Boone”, if all goes as it usually does).

Enjoy your Sunday, wherever you are in the world.

Thanks for visiting.

I love you guys. See ya!

**********

And here’s this!

Enough said.

Bob Wills & his Texas Playboys, with their classic, “Time Changes Everything” from 1940. Enjoy, gang.