Just A Snuggly Little Morning!

Yes, it snowed during the night!

It’s not exactly a winter wonderland, but there is a covering of snow on everything here in Crazeysburg.  Mostly, it’s just super cold here today. The high will be 23 degrees Fahrenheit. So I’m happy to just sit here at my desk today and write — and  drink coffee. The laundry is already well under way…

I’m expecting just a really nice, quiet day.

If you saw the photo I posted the other day of the remains of the old coal bin under the basement stairs, it won’t surprise you to learn that this house is old enough to have had fireplaces in every room.  The dining room still has a fireplace, but it’s only decorative now — it was boarded up a long time ago.

The boarded-up fireplace in the dining room — another room that only the cats use because I rarely ever set foot in there!

The fireplaces that were in the two bedrooms are completely boarded up and plastered over, still, you can see where they used to be. I love trying to imagine what the rooms were like when the fireplaces were in them and in active use.

A previous owner had a wood-burning fireplace in the family room, which is now stored out in the barn. (This house was a rental property for several years before I bought it and in Ohio, it’s illegal to have wood-burning stoves in rental units.) (Fire hazards.)

I’ve toyed with the idea of having it brought inside and re-installed. The connection to the chimney is still accessible in the wall, I just have it covered over with a free-standing bookcase. But honestly — these days, I am never in my family room, either, so it would only be for the cats. Plus, I can barely find time to do things like wash my hair and make my bed. I can’t even imagine having to stop whatever I’m doing at my desk and go put more wood in the fireplace. Or — God forbid — have to go outside and bring in more wood when I run out. I just don’t see it happening. Unless I hire some sort of a permanent live-in handyman, or something. You know, to keep things looking as if someone — besides 7 cats — actually lives in here.

However, I have always loved living in places that had fireplaces, working or not. Growing up, we almost always had at least one, if not two, fireplaces in the house. And even in NYC, most of the apartments I lived in had fireplaces. That hellhole tenement on E.12th Street, where I lived for 9 intense years, had two fireplaces — one in the living room and one in the kitchen!! That was too cool. I loved that. The building had been built in 1895, and had been built specifically to house the teeming amounts of poor immigrants on New York’s lower east side, so I’m guessing that was their source of heat for a really long time.

I was the last person to live in that specific apartment before it got “gentrified.” As tenants moved out, one by one, the landlord would cosmetically update each apartment — board-up and plaster over the fireplaces and then lay down new wood floors, to make the floors seem level (which they weren’t– they constantly sloped in the direction of the East River). And then, overnight, they jacked-up the rent astronomically. And, of course, found plenty of people willing to pay for that fake “renovation.”

But as run down as it was when I lived there it sure had character. I loved those old wood floors and those fireplaces, and the old iron bathtub in the kitchen. It had a front door to the living room, and also a back door to the kitchen. And it was filled with spirits — just like this house I’m in now. Friendly and very active spirits, from a hundred years (or more) of lives being lived at whatever intensity. I loved that part about living on E. 12th Street — the spirits of old New Yorkers were so close back then.

But now it’s just gentrified. No character. Just really expensive.

Well, I know, you can’t just live in the past. Progress is usually a good thing. But in America, it’s hard to find places that retain any sort of real character. In order to do that, the people who live there have to work hard at keeping large-scale commerce out.  Fast-food chains and box stores, specifically. Keeping that stuff out really does help keep a place peaceful and sane — and low crime. Plus tons of trees. There are always plenty of tress in areas where they aren’t constantly building something.

Anyway, I like it. And it’s not as if the people here in this little village, in these intensely old, quirky houses, don’t drive nice cars and have smart phones and flat screen TVs. Everyone’s on the Internet.  In fact, one night last summer — it was so funny: everyone was out and taking a stroll, really late in the evening. I mean, like after 10 PM — so many people out strolling. Why? Because the Internet was down! And almost everyone here has the same internet provider. No TV, no smartphones. So let’s just go out and stroll and talk to each other. It was very amusing.

Okay. I’m gonna finish up the laundry and get to work on that last page of the play! Have a terrific Tuesday, wherever you are in the world and whatever the weather.  Thanks for visiting, gang. I love you guys. See ya.

“Our Town”

And you know the sun’s settin’ fast
And just like they say, nothing good ever lasts
Well, go on now and kiss it goodbye
But hold on to your lover
‘Cause your heart’s bound to die
Go on now and say goodbye to our town, to our town
Can’t you see the sun’s settin’ down on our town, on our town
Goodnight

Up the street beside that red neon light
That’s where I met my baby on one hot summer night
He was the tender and I ordered a beer
It’s been forty years and I’m still sitting here

But you know the sun’s settin’ fast
And just like they say, nothing good ever lasts
Well, go on now and kiss it goodbye
But hold on to your lover
‘Cause your heart’s bound to die
Go on now and say goodbye to our town, to our town
Can’t you see the sun’s settin’ down on our town, on our town
Goodnight

It’s here I had my babies and I had my first kiss
I’ve walked down Main Street in the cold morning mist
Over there is where I bought my first car
It turned over once but then it never went far

And I can see the sun’s settin’ fast
And just like they say, nothing good ever lasts
Well, go on now and kiss it goodbye
But hold on to your lover
‘Cause your heart’s bound to die
Go on now and say goodbye to our town, to our town
Can’t you see the sun’s settin’ down on our town, on our town
Goodnight

I buried my Mama and I buried my Pa
They sleep up the street beside that pretty brick wall
I bring them flowers about every day
But I just gotta cry when I think what they’d say

If they could see how the sun’s settin’ fast
And just like they say, nothing good ever lasts
Well, go on now and kiss it goodbye
But hold on to your lover
‘Cause your heart’s bound to die
Go on now and say goodbye to our town, to our town
Can’t you see the sun’s settin’ down on our town, on our town
Goodnight

Now I sit on the porch and watch the lightning-bugs fly
But I can’t see too good, I got tears in my eyes
I’m leaving tomorrow but I don’t wanna go
I love you, my town, you’ll always live in my soul

But I can see the sun’s settin’ fast
And just like they say, nothing good ever lasts
Well, go on, I gotta kiss you goodbye
But I’ll hold to my lover
‘Cause my heart’s ’bout to die
Go on now and say goodbye to my town, to my town
I can see the sun has gone down on my town, on my town
Goodnight
Goodnight

c – 1992 Iris DeMent

Now, That’s A Man Who Knows How to Say, ‘I Love You’…

I am speaking of Tom Jones, of course.

For some unknown reason, I woke up this morning bordering on feeling really depressed and the voice in my head was singing “I (Who Have Nothing).”   If you don’t know this song, I of course will regale you with it at the bottom of this post.

If you’ve read my novel Freak Parade (and who hasn’t? ), you no doubt already know that I love Tom Jones — and have since I was a wee bonny lass, that’s for sure. I guess that’s a polite way of saying that he’s been around forever. (Because I’ve already been around forever and he’s been around even longer than that!)

Anyway. Boy, that man can sing. And because he can be so passionate, so deep, so emotional and powerful — because of those very things, I really couldn’t manage getting on YouTube before the sun was even up in order to listen to that (really old) intensely emotional song. Even though I really wanted to, because I thought it might give me some insight into why I would wake up singing it when I haven’t actually heard that song in years.

But I really just can’t listen to Tom Jones at 5:30 in the morning. (I guess if I was married to him or something, I could listen to him at 5:30 in the morning. Of course, he’s probably not actually singing at 5:30 in the morning. Who knows what he’s doing at that hour? It could be that he’s actually just sleeping. Anyway.)

So I got out of bed instead, and tried to focus on not feeling depressed. I’ve made good headway with 4 of the cats. Huckleberry and Doris — the two who always accompany me to the bathroom first thing in the morning, are now letting me pet them several times in a row. Mind you, I have to be peeing in the dark while this is going on , but I will take whatever meager crumbs of love that I can get. But it’s really so cute. They really seem to like being petted in this small way. Huckleberry has started purring — a thing I never heard her do in these 7 years. And Doris will actually bat at my hand if I pet Huckleberry for too long without petting her, too.

But if I pet them for one moment longer than they deem appropriate, they nip at me and scratch.

And Weenie and Scottie now both allow me to pet them one time before I set their bowls of food down in front of them in the morning, but that’s it. If I try to pet them more than once, they bite. Still, it’s progress. (It only took 7 years to be able to pet a cat once….)

I’m patient, if nothing else. And that was actually kind of why I was depressed this morning — sometimes I just feel like giving up. Just that sense of “why do I do all this every day; day in, day out?” And I of course mean everything in my life when I say that — not just this business of trying to permanently foster an entire colony of feral cats.

For the most part, I’m actually really happy. But some days, I wake up and look at it all – life, I mean — and I think: not this again; didn’t I do all this just yesterday, and every single solitary other day before this one? For what? What’s the goal here? Is there in fact a goal? A reason to be here, beyond just doing the same darn thing every single day? What is life, anyway? What does all this mean?

And then I can quickly spiral downward from there, if I’m not careful. Man, it can happen really quickly.

So I do try really, really hard to distract myself from thinking like that. And the cats — as un-demonstrative as they are — they can be very good at distracting me. And I do honestly think, on some really deep level, that that’s why they’re here. To distract the heck out of me.

Anyway, after breakfast, I went back up to my room to meditate, but I just didn’t feel like it today.  So I got on YouTube and finally listened to Tom Jones sing “I (Who have Nothing)”. And, man, that fucker can sing.  I’m still not sure why I woke up with that song in my head — it did indeed remind me of Freak Parade, and of all that was going on in my life when I began writing that novel back in 2005 (or I should say, all that had happened to me before then, which made me write the novel). But maybe, on some deep level,  my ears needed to hear the entire Universe, in the guise of Tom Jones, say “I love you” in that indescribably overpowering way. (And he doesn’t seem to be straining himself, or anything, when he sings like that; it just comes out.)

Well, I don’t actually really know what anything is about. I know I have the day ahead of me and I want it to be productive and maybe even joyful. I guess we’ll see.

There was yet another Red Hand Files newsletter thing today that Nick Cave sent out. I felt terrible reading it. I shouldn’t have posted anything on my blog the other day about  some of the things people write in and say to him. So if you read what I posted, just delete it in your head. And I will attempt to mind my own business (a thing that is sometimes exceedingly hard for me to do).

Okay. I’m gonna get started here. Work on the play. Set the Italian lessons aside for a moment. Get back to thinking in English. Have a wonderful Monday, wherever you are in the world. Thanks for visiting, gang. The video I’m leaving you with is poor quality, visually, but the sound is what’s important, and it’s incredible. All right. I love you guys. See ya.

“I (Who Have Nothing)”

I, I who have nothing
I, I who have no one
Adore you, and want you so
I’m just a no one,
With nothing to give you but, oh
I Love You

He, He buys you diamonds
Bright, sparkling diamonds
But believe me, dear when I say,
That he can give you the world,
But he’ll never love you the way
I Love You

He can take you anyplace he wants
To fancy clubs and restaurants
But I can only watch you with
My nose pressed up against the window pane
I, I who have nothing
I, I who have no one
Must watch you, go dancing by
Wrapped in the arms of somebody else
When darling it’s I
Who Loves you

I Love You
I Love You
I Love You
c- 1970 Jerry Leiber, Mike Stoller, Giulio Rapetti, Labati Donida

Stepping back to re-focus

Sometimes, even when I know that the stuff I’m trying to say is in there — inside my brain— I just can’t get a clear signal. You know, like a radio dial. I’m tuning and tuning, but not landing on that clear signal that lets everything come in crystal clear.

I’m talking about the final page of dialogue for the play— in case I’m not being crystal clear!

It’s not coming. So I’ve decided to focus on my Italian lessons instead. Just get my brain involved in something else.  And then maybe when I shift my focus back to the play, the dialogue I need to hear will be there.

Even though I’m not sure now if the retreats will be held in Italy or England, I paid for a year in advance for the Italian lessons so I’m just going to keep studying it until either the year is up, or I end up needing to keep studying it indefinitely.

I am not very good at Italian.  My mind still wants to shift back into French. And like any language I’ve ever studied, except for Mandarin Chinese, which I was strangely good at speaking, I just do so much better reading a new language than speaking it. So the moment I’m not actually looking at the Italian lessons, I forget everything I just learned. Yet the moment I take another quiz, even if it’s the monthly quiz that goes over everything to date— well, then I remember absolutely everything. So I have no idea why I can’t simply recall all this stuff when the lessons aren’t in front of me.

But anyway. I’ve decided to focus on Italian for awhile. Give the play a wee little rest.

It’s a beautiful morning here. It doesn’t seem to be as cold as it’s been the past few mornings.

The other morning when I was out in my car along the main road, this one group of cows that I really love did something so cute! If you’ve never been around a group of cows— meaning standing right with them or in their midst— they are quite curious creatures. They will all look at you, at the same time, the moment you appear. It’s a strange sensation, because they’re so large.

Anyway, I group the main road here by the animals. First there’s a huge group of cows on a hill. Then a smaller group of cows in a pasture right by the road. Then a group of chickens. Then horses with a couple of cows. Then another large group of cows on a hill. Then more chickens. Then you get closer to town.

Well it’s that group of about 20 cows that are near the road that I just love, because whenever I drive past them, they’re just so close. I love looking at them. The other day, the guy who owns them was installing some new feeders. Another guy was helping him. And all the cows were standing sort of in a circle, surrounding the men, just very curiously watching what they were doing. It was so funny looking! It was just the sweetest thing.

Anyway. I do love animals.

Okay, I’m gonna scoot. Have a great Sunday. Since I’m still in bed, I’ll leave you with a photo of my bedroom door, from the bed just now. I love how the light is hitting it. I’m not sure why I love this door so much, but I do. It’s one of the few doors that are original to the house, so the door and the iron door knob are 119 years old.

All right. Thanks for visiting!! I love you guys. See ya.

The view if my bedroom door from the bed just now.

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Just Some Thoughts on a Celebration, of Sorts…

Since most of my readers do not come from the United States, and are more likely to have a cognizant awareness of who Nick Cave is — I’m guessing that most of you already know that Ghosteen, the new album by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds, has been declared the Album of the Decade, by Metacritic, which tallies the accumulated critical scores that a movie, album, or game receives. And Ghosteen received the highest ratings across the board, to land it in the top spot for the entire decade.

Ghosteen Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds

It’s a wonderful achievement, but it’s also an announcement that is just so poignant to me that it’s hard to be truly “happy” about it. I am glad, though.

Assuming this is not your first visit to this blog then you are well aware that I love this album, but still find it just devastating to listen to. I can rarely listen to the whole album all the way through. I usually have to stop it at some point and just breathe, you know? Walk away.

Sometimes I only get as far as “Waiting For You” before that happens — that’s only the 3rd song in. Most of the time, I can get as far as “Galleon Ship” and then I have to stop. I don’t know why “Galleon Ship” is so hard for me, but it is. I have a really tough time listening to that one without it totally breaking my heart.

I don’t know for sure if this is true, but I heard that their album Skeleton Tree is the #5 album of the decade. Of course, both of these albums have to do with the death of one of Nick Cave’s sons. But I think it’s accurate to say that a lot of  Skeleton Tree had already been recorded before his son was killed.  But Ghosteen — I don’t see how that album could have come into existence if his son hadn’t died, and so that’s why it’s just so hard for me to join in all the Instagram hoopla over it being the Album of the Decade. Honestly, I can only see the trade-off. And it’s too poignant. What the death of a child does to the parents, and to the family. Not to mention what it does to the child’s private world — other children; lives that have nothing to do with the parents or the family. Or with art.

Yet all of that had to happen for the art to have even needed to be expressed.  And it is amazingly beautiful art — and I am glad that it’s getting honored everywhere. I am. But it’s still just so sad.

Okay, I’m going to get back to work here, gang. I’ll leave you with this, if you haven’t already heard it. Thanks for visiting. I love you guys. See ya.

“Galleon Ship”

If I could sail a galleon ship
Long, lonely rider across the sky
Seek out mysteries while you sleep
And treasures money cannot buy

For you know I see you everywhere
A servant girl, an empress
My galleon ship will fly and fall
Fall and fly and fly and fall deep into your loveliness

And if we rise my love
Before the daylight comes
A thousand galleon ships will sail
Ghostly around the morning sun

As the city rises up
As the city rises up
As the city rises up
As the city rises up

For we are not alone, it seems
So many riders in the sky
The winds of longing in their sails
Searching for the other side

And if we rise my love
Oh my darling, precious one
We’ll stand and watch the galleon ships
Circle around the morning sun

c – 2019 Nick Cave

Blogging from bed! What could be nicer??

It is a truly frosty morning out there, gang, so I decided to stay snuggled in bed a while longer. Drink my coffee. Watch the world get light outside the windows. Blog on the phone instead of at the  computer at my desk.

I did indeed get the porches cleared off yesterday. Everything is put away in the barn. Everything is ready for winter. Me, as well. I guess I’m ready for winter. I sure hope my birth mom will come back and help me decorate for Christmas. I would love that so much. We’ll see.

The play is not finished, even though I really do only have about a page to go. I’m still not getting the exact understanding of it. There’s going to be a sort of cacophony of dialogue that builds from Helen’s past and I’m not exactly sure yet how to do that.  But I know it’s in there — I can feel it trying to form inside me. I just need that moment of clarity and it will all come out.

Well, WordPress informs me that it’s our anniversary!  I have been blogging with WordPress for 12 years already. Is that, like, insane or what??!! I maintained a couple different blogs here over the years that were not my “main blog”. The main one was at Go Daddy for a very long time before I switched over to WordPress exclusively. But wow — 12 years. That just kind of shocked me, I really hate when time just gallops away.

Oh, an interesting update on my insane bathroom scale! I actually gained 7 pounds this morning while standing on it. That was a first! The scale has actually been working just fine for a few weeks now, so I have no idea what causes it to suddenly go weird like that. But I thought that was kind of funny.  I jumped off of it in a hurry, though. You know, thinking that if I stood on it for too long, I might gain 20 pounds, or something equally unwieldy…

Anyway, I have nothing really to report today. I’m just having a snuggly little morning. All’s right with the world here in Crazeysburg. My cats are quite cozy and enjoying having the heat kicking on all the time.  They hang out primarily in the family room in colder months. I put fleece throws on everything and so they all snuggle into the various throws. It’s kind of cool to walk through the family room, en route to the coffee pot in the kitchen, and see 7 cats snuggling contentedly everywhere, just staring at me.

If it weren’t for these cats, I wouldn’t have this cool old house. Well, I had 8 cats when I bought the house. But I would have settled for something much more plebeian without them. I bought the house because I needed the space for all these cats! As you know, I, personally am either up in my room or in the kitchen. The rest of the house is for them. (To throw up in and cough up hair balls in and to shed all over. But they sure are nice to look at!!)

Okay!! Gonna scoot.  I’m gonna think & stare for awhile and try to tap into the vibes of the play.

Have a super cozy Saturday wherever you are in the world, gang! Thanks for visiting. I love you guys. See ya!

the 3 feral kittens I rescued back at the old house— before they exploded into the colony I have now that no one would adopt!!

Not Free & Not Legal

I feel like Friday is now my day to want to scream at people.

Neptune & Surf is not in the public domain or anything close to it. Even if you are an Asian gaming site currently offering free downloads of the alleged “Blue Moon” version of this book, it is not legal to do it.

I know that used copies of this specific edition currently cost anywhere from $45 to $125 — and who wants to pay that? Actually not me –however, it still doesn’t mean that the Blue Moon edition is legal to download.

Neptune & Surf, Blue Moon edition

While Barney Rosset is indeed dead and Blue Moon was shuttered many years ago, the rights to Neptune & Surf are controlled by Hachette UK, and if any of you gentle readers have not read Neptune & Surf yet, and feel the irresistible urge to read it immediately and cannot afford the 99 cents  (or whatever paltry amount the Kindle edition costs) in order to download it legally; if it’s a choice between a humble bowl of soup and a lowly crust of bread, or legally buying Neptune & Surf — just contact me for godssakes.

This is getting really annoying….

Please do not patronize pirates. I’d really appreciate that, gang.

Thanks for visiting. See ya.

Just a Great Big Bunch of Joy All Over the Place!

First of all, Ghosteen, the new Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds double album, is officially out today!! Go buy it, perhaps along with one or more of its various and sundry merchandising options!!

Ghosteen Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds, out today

I was indeed informed yesterday that my very own copy of  the CD was put in the mail to me yesterday (I can even track its shipping progress, if I’d like to), and it is guaranteed to arrive on Friday November 22nd !!!! WTF!!

I mean, it is totally my fault for being so impatient. Pre-ordering it from the UK, instead of waiting until it was available for pre-ordering at Amazon US (which was something, like, later that same afternoon).  And then, of course, God knows I was too busy to go into Amazon UK and cancel the pre-order and then re-order it at Amazon US — because that would have taken about 5 minutes, and I usually save those 5 extra minutes I have each day for using the bathroom…

Anyway. When I got the cheerful email yesterday, alerting me of the CD’s successful send-off somewhere in my general direction, I was really irritated with myself. That’s two weeks away. It’s like how shipping was in olden-times…

However, it’s not as if I don’t constantly listen to it already on my phone and on my iPad, and have it practically memorized. I don’t actually need the CD in my life. So I’ll just look on it as a happy little perk — one day, in the mysterious and far distant future, I’ll look out my kitchen door, and there it will be, sitting happily on my porch in the wilds of Muskingum County, after its long, and no doubt colorful and adventure-filled, voyage from England.

(Meanwhile, all 14 of my neighbors here in Crazeysburg, 33% of whom work at the Amazon warehouse 25 miles from here, will have been happily listening to their own US-distributed copies of the Ghosteen CDs that whole entire time…)

Okay. One more Nick Cave thing…

He sent out another Red Hand Files letter-thingie today; a sort of follow-up to the one he sent out a couple of days ago, about Transcendental Meditation. You can read it at that link there, if you so choose. I would say that his response today was charitable (which is an adjective, meaning “apt to judge others leniently or favorably” and which is probably why he meditates).

And so, onward.

Yes!! I made amazing progress with the play yesterday — finally. I made it through that chunk of dialogue — and I was really happy with it.  And then a great big bunch of stuff poured out on its heels, that I was also really happy with.

And today, I have maybe a page left?? Honestly, I am that close to finally being done.  One page. (Until they need more rewrites, that is.)

And on that note, I’m gonna scoot. I have to pay some bills here before I totally forget again and have a bunch of hard-working office-drones from hither & yon politely wondering if I’m asleep or dead or on drugs. (None of the above. What I am is super day-dreamy these days.)

So I’m gonna pay bills. Then I’m gonna put on my Wellies, and my scarf and mittens and my arctic coat, and drag all the various flower pots and summer lawn accoutrements back into the barn for the winter (the frost and snow flurries did indeed arrive, and now all the impatiens are done). Then I’m gonna pour myself another cup of coffee and sit my quite comely behind back down at the computer and FINISH THE PLAY!!!! (Again!!!!!)

Have a wonderful Friday, wherever you are in the world, gang! Thanks for visiting. I leave you with this — but, you know, go BUY IT. (I can’t really link your purchasing options here because my readers come from all over the world. But I’m sure you know where you buy your music.) All righty! I love you guys. See ya.

“Bright Horses”

The bright horses have broken free from the fields
They are horses of love, their manes full of fire
They are parting the cities, those bright burning horses
And everyone is hiding, and no one makes a sound
And I’m by your side and I’m holding your hand
Bright horses of wonder springing from your burning hand

And everyone has a heart and it’s calling for something
We’re all so sick and tired of seeing things as they are
Horses are just horses and their manes aren’t full of fire
The fields are just fields, and there ain’t no Lord
And everyone is hidden, and everyone is cruel
And there’s no shortage of tyrants, and no shortage of fools
And the little white shape dancing at the end of the hall
Is just a wish that time can’t dissolve at all

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, well, this world is plain to see
It don’t mean we can’t believe in something, and anyway
My baby’s coming back now on the next train
I can hear the whistle blowing, I can hear the mighty roar
I can hear the horses prancing in the pastures of the Lord
Oh the train is coming, and I’m standing here to see
And it’s bringing my baby right back to me
Well there are some things that are hard to explain
But my baby’s coming home now, on the 5:30 train

c – 2019 Nick Cave & Warren Ellis

I’m Super Really Serious This Time!!

I will not linger here this morning, since I was not only here on the blog 3 times yesterday, but I was also online, texting & emailing a LOT yesterday because of Helen’s birthday stuff. And so today, I must go into the isolation booth and remain there…

My biggest challenge right now –and all week — has been one single chunk of dialogue, if you can believe it.

The character’s name is: A White Man From Mississippi. And he is the type of art gallery owner that both gouges the art buyer and rips off the artist (one step away from being a thief). But he is also a carnival barker. So everything he says has to come out in that exhorting, intensely fake, creepy/menacing loud way.

However, he has to sound genuine — not just like a buffoon or something. And in this specific chunk of dialogue that is really vexing me,  he’s confronting one of Helen’s grandson’s, who is fucked up on pills and booze, and has just robbed Helen of her life’s savings and caused her to have a paralyzing stroke, so she can never paint again.

The White Man From Mississippi (gallery owner/carnival barker) is belittling the grandson for being such a loser; his petty thievery killed the goose that laid the golden egg. Whereas he, the White Man From Mississippi (more of a master thief), has access to all the golden eggs if he wants them and can buy & sell them, over & over & over, eternally, at whatever prices the market can bear.

And then the staging is such that the White Man From Mississippi is sort of like God & the Devil, talking down to the intoxicated grandson from Heaven, while all of Helen’s dead loved ones and ancestors, sing a really slow and drawn out stanza from the slave hymn, “I Want to Be Ready to Walk in Jerusalem Just like John.”

It’s gonna take up maybe 3 minutes of stage time, but it’s taking me FOREVER to get it right!!!!!!

I was bordering on not wanting to get out of bed at all this morning, I am getting just so frustrated with it, but here I am. So, onward.

Oh, if you saw — the music has been switched out again. It’s another one of my folk songs that was on vinyl. It came out in 1982, and is now on Smithsonian Folkways Records — the specific record is “Women in Song,” from July 1982.

My song, “One Thing Leads to Another,” is about a roommate I had while in the mental hospital, whose dad had been raping her regularly, until she became a drug addict and sort of went crazy.

It was really strange to hear her talk about her life because she was so matter of fact about it.  And the rapes always happened on Thursday nights, because it was her mom’s bowling night — that little fact always struck me as just so creepy.

I wasn’t super nice to her, because I thought she was really strange and I was, you know, forced to share a room with her. Of course, we were both only 15, and I was seriously fucked up with my own mental problems, so I couldn’t really grasp (until a few years later) what her problem really was. She would talk about sex with her dad as being really fun and exciting, so I thought: well, then what’s the big deal?

Something like that. I wasn’t totally heartless, or stupid, but she was so hard to talk to. She was really in denial and way off in la-la land, but I couldn’t really empathize because I had all my own issues that I was drowning in.

Anyway, so that’s that song.

Okay! I’m gonna scoot!! And try to nail this thing before I totally lose my mind.

Have a wonderful Thursday, wherever you are in the world!! I leave you with more breakfast music from Angel Clare — and this one is just too cool. It’s a medley that is just brilliant and really just messes with your whole soul, in a truly glorious way, but you have to hear the whole song.

Oh, which reminds me! Amazon UK informed me that the arrival of the Ghosteen CD (Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds) is imminent in my very near future!!! (Yes, it is being shipped to me from the UK, because I pre-ordered it the moment it was available to pre-order, and didn’t wait the handful of moments for it to be available for pre-ordering in the US, and so, rather than have it shipped to me from the Amazon warehouse that is literally 25 miles from me, it’s shipping to me from the UK…. Well, that’s me, in a nutshell.)

Okay, enjoy!! Thanks for visiting. I love you guys! See ya!

Gosh! It’s Just So Grueling Being A Playwright!!

I know, I know, I know!!!

I am actually (kind of) working! I’ve also been texting everybody I know some of those wonderful photos of Helen (see post below this one), and so, got distracted. (And made dinner — macaroni & cheese!!)

But I am getting back to work here, and in honor of snow coming our way tomorrow, I have officially switched from the black chemise to the winter PJs and have lowered the heat (a little bit). (You can tell by how my desk chair is scooted out from my desk, though, that I actually am sort of working…)

Okay, see ya! For real this time… I love you guys! Enjoy your evening, wherever you are in the world!

Goodbye to the chemise until next spring!!
Hello to practicality… (heavy sigh) (but stylish winter PJs!!!) (This is actually my 12th winter in these PJs!) (Perhaps I should go shopping one of these days…)

Photos from Helen LaFrance’s 100th Birthday

Here is a selection of photos of Helen that Wanda took at Helen’s 100th birthday celebration in Mayfield, Kentucky this past Saturday. There were over a hundred photos to choose from, so I’m just choosing a few of Helen herself.

I just love this black & white portrait. She looks so regal.
A nice close-up
Helen at the church where her celebration was held
A version of Helen’s famous “Church Picnic- Homecoming” painting is held up above her. She made many “Church Picnic” paintings over the years. Gus Van Sant Sr owned a version of this painting, it was displayed over his fire place, and there were 150 distinct tiny people painted at the picnic! It was an incredible painting to see in “real life.”

I’m so glad to see Helen looking so lively and alert. She looks just wonderful.

Okay, with this lovely incentive, I’m gonna get back to work here… See ya!

The world of author Marilyn Jaye Lewis