It Was Just One of Those Days Here in Crazeysburg!

Because I fell and bruised my thigh beyond my ability to comprehend (if you are on your computer, you can see my Instagram photo from yesterday down below, which shows the awesome bruise and just how swelled up it got), I wound up spending a huge portion of yesterday in bed.

Not because I couldn’t walk, but because the pain was excruciating.

But today, even though the bruise is obviously still there and still swollen, the pain is really minimal.

And, while CBD oil did nothing to stop that kind of pain, it did calm me the fuck down and made everything in my world seem manageable. And by “manageable” I guess I mean  “just go to bed and stream The Monkees and forget about everything else in the world. ”

Oh, and I should mention here that I wound up liking that documentary, Hey, Hey We’re The Monkees, which I had started watching the other day. It was very informative and emotional.

Anyway. I also slept a lot yesterday, seeing as how I was already in bed. I didn’t get out of bed until after 5am today, which is later than I’ve been doing for quite a few weeks now.

So nothing new has been done to the new short story “Novitiate.” And at this point, if it is getting confusing:

  • The Guitar Hero Goes Home is now available in print with the corrected cover and the corrected text. (Also eBook — Amazon)
  • “Half-Moon Bride” will be available as a stand alone eBook in a few weeks (with my new publisher)
  • 1954 Powder Blue Pickup will be coming out in print before the year is over,  also with my new publisher
  • “Novitiate” will be part of what I currently call The Muse Revisited Vol. 4, which will also include my more popular “taboo erotica” short stories and novellas from the scope of my career. That will come out in print with my new publisher, as well, but probably not until early 2021 (especially if I don’t quit falling down on my kitchen porch).

So that’s what’s going on there, in erotica land.

In non-erotica land, the staged reading of my play, Tell My Bones, will premier online on Sunday evening EST, November 22nd. It will be free, but you will need to RSVP at an eventbrite link, which I will give to you when I have it. And if you miss the premier, you will have a window of maybe 3-5 days to watch it anyway.


So Cave Things announced yesterday that you can pre-order the following really cute picture discs, each have one song on them from Idiot Prayer: Nick Cave Alone at Alexandra Palace, which is being released as an album and also a film in November. Here are the picture discs, drawn by Nick Cave (I believe they are each £30, except that there are only 500 copies in each title, so you need to pre-order right away).

And with that, I’m also gonna close. So have a really nice Wednesday, wherever you are in the world. Thanks for visiting, gang!! I love you guys. See ya!!








A Wee Bit on the Rainy Side Today

Rainy days in October are really beautiful in Ohio.

When I was six years old, in the first grade in school in Cleveland, our class had a little “field trip.” It consisted of spending part of our lunch hour taking a walk around the block, where there were lots of big old houses and old trees, to look at the autumn leaves.

It wasn’t supposed to be raining for the field trip, but it was. And so we all had on our little rain coats and rain hats, and took our walk in the rain. And I thought that the fall leaves, clinging to the wet sidewalk in the rain, were the prettiest things I’d ever seen. And I never forgot it.

Now, whenever there’s a rainy day in October, and autumn leaves are clinging to a wet sidewalk, no matter where I am in the world, I always remember that moment in Cleveland when I was six.

Another part to that story, though, is that it happened when my adoptive grandfather was retiring down in Columbus, and so there was a big retirement party for him — but only for the adults. And so my parents went down to Columbus for the party and my older brother went to stay overnight with one of his school friends, but I was sent to stay overnight with friends of my parents who lived close to the school and so could drive me there the following day. (The following day was the day of our big field trip to see autumn leaves.) And I remember that my mom had packed my lunch for the field trip in a little brown paper bag and she gave it to the lady of the house I was spending the night at.

To me, it was such a big deal that my mom had packed my lunch because back in those days, we didn’t eat lunch at school, we always came home for lunch and then went back to school for the afternoon. So I just thought that was the coolest thing, that I had a little brown paper bag with my lunch in it and that my mom had made it for me before she went out of town.

I was really scared to be away from home for a night, and to be in a house where I didn’t know anyone. The family had an older girl and an older boy — they were a lot older than me, teenagers. And I was going to be sleeping in one of the twin beds in the older girl’s room, and I remember that she was so incredibly nice to me, because I was crying in the dark, and she told me not to be scared — that my mom and dad would be coming to get me after school the very next day.

But what I vividly recall is the older boy had a butterfly collection down in their family room, which was in the basement. It was quite an extensive collection and I had never seen anything like it before. Of course, nowadays, I would freak out because I don’t like to think of anything being killed simply for a “collection,” but back then, I didn’t know anything about stuff like that, and I just thought the butterflies were quite amazing.

The boy explained everything about it to me, how he caught them, how they were killed, and then mounted. And he explained what each one of the butterflies were named, etc. He must have been extremely patient to spend so much time with a 6 year-old girl who was on the verge of crying the whole time because her parents had “left her there, all alone.” I just remember that he was so nice. He was something like 17 or 18 years old already.

Even though that memory has followed me to places all over the country and in different cities all over the world, it’s kind of poignant that today, I am looking at fall leaves on a rainy sidewalk, back in Ohio 54 years later, but it’s my own house now. (Photo below.)

And I wonder if those two teenagers are even still alive now, you know? They certainly could be, but they’d be over 70 years old.

You know, it really just seems like yesterday. I can’t really believe it.

Okay, gang. I’m gonna scoot. Have a beautiful Monday, wherever you are in the world. Thanks for visiting. I love you guys. See ya!

The rainy world outside my house today.

“Hold On Girl”

I know about the guy who treated you so bad,
He took your love and then just walked away.
I know that you have got a reason to be sad
But help is on its way.

Hold on girl be a little bit stronger,
Hold on girl wait a little bit longer,
Hold on girl, help is on its way.

I know you feel as though your world is at an end,
But you don’t have to live with yesterday.
I promise you the sun is gonna shine again,
And help is on its way.

Hold on girl, now that we are together,
Hold on girl, things are gonna be better,
Hold on girl, help is on its way.

© 1967 Jack Keller, Billy Carr, Ben Raleigh

A Gentle Little Sunday in the Hinterlands

Okay, gang. Happy Sunday!

It is so quiet and lovely and autumnal around here this morning. I am really in “slow” mode, just taking it easy.

Oh, guess what? After refusing to get on my bathroom scale for a couple of months now because of all that frustrating COVID 19 weight that I couldn’t seem to budge, I decided to weigh myself today and I’m at my goal weight. The weight I prefer to be at all the time  when there is no fucking virus going around. This means I lost 13 pounds without even trying. So even while the virus is starting to spike again the world over, I lost my stupid COVID weight. Yay.

Before I forget, M. Christian has a reading of a brand new queer/BDSM/cyberpunk story, “Kintsugi,” that just went live on the Nobilis Sci-Fi Erotica Podcast. (Chris is not reading it, Nobilis is reading it.) You can listen to it here:

And speaking of erotica… it was slow-going with “Novitiate” yesterday. (My current erotic short story that is in progress.) (Oh, I also noticed that many typos occur, and one occurred in the excerpt I posted here the other day — where I suddenly call “Paula” by the name of “Paul,” which makes for an interesting and rather abrupt plot twist. However, it is actually just Paula, throughout! I’ve made the correction to the excerpt.)

Anyway, I hope I make better progress with the story today. I know what I want to say, but so many scenes seem to want to collide in my head at once, and not all of them really need to be in the story. So I am having trouble sorting it all out and then getting it onto the page in a way that I actually like.

On a different note, last evening I began streaming a re-edited documentary on The Monkees. (Hey, Hey We’re the Monkees, originally made in 1997.) I’m not sure if I’ll keep watching it or not. Two of the Monkees are now dead (Davy Jones and Peter Tork), and who knows if the remaining two have now changed their view on the whole experience. But I think I might just like to keep enjoying the reruns and remembering how happy that show made me in my childhood. The Hey, Hey We're the Monkees: The Monkees, Davy Jones,  Michael Nesmith, Peter Tork, Micky Dolenz, Paul Mazursky, Ward Sylvester,  Peter Noone, Don Kirshner, Bobby Hart, Jeff Barry, Chip Douglas, David

I did already know that the actors were not 100% happy with the experience of being a “Monkee”, but I’m not sure I need to know every single bit of it. We’ll see, I guess. (For instance, Mike Nesmith has maintained over the years that the album More of the Monkees was one of the worst albums in the history of the world. When, in fact, it is one of the best. And back in the early 1980s, when I was a folksinger in Greenwich Village, Peter Tork sometimes played one of the clubs I played at, and he was really just a basket case, mentally, at that point in his life. And it stemmed from the whole Monkees experience.)

And I never did get to finish watching the Ronnie Wood documentary last week, which kind of sucks. Because it wasn’t my fault that the darn stream kept buffering until it finally just froze up. And then I never got time to get back to it during that window of 72 hours. However, I did really love the Bill Wyman documentary, and that Brian Jones documentary, sad as it was. So I guess I’ll survive!

Okay. I think that’s really it for today, gang. I guess I will get my Sunday morning started here (I’ve actually been up for 6 hours already, so that gives you an idea of just how slow I am taking things today!) I hope you have a wonderful Sunday going on, wherever you are in the world. Thanks for visiting.  I leave you with a song I’ve left you with many times before, but it always makes me feel really good about Tom Petty, so here it is again. “You and Me,” from off of his Last DJ album of 2002. All righty, enjoy. I love you guys. See ya!

Still Alive & Well!!

Yes! I am talking about the petunias!

There is a layer of frost on my grown-up car this morning. There is frost on the rooftops. Frost on the lawns and on all the autumn leaves lying all over the lawns. And yet, the petunias are doing just fine.

I guess it has to be a real killer “killer frost” to faze these petunias.

So that was a sort of little happy burst of wonder when I went downstairs for breakfast this morning at 4am.

I also saw that another new song was dropped for the upcoming album, Idiot Prayer: Nick Cave Alone at Alexandra Palace. And this one is actually a new song — “Euthanasia.” It was in my Amazon music library this morning. I just love this song. It is so pretty.

And while I’m thinking of it, I forgot to post yesterday that Nick Cave sent out another Red Hand File on Thursday that was very interesting, regarding a reader’s concerns about Narcotics Anonymous and stemming the seemingly endless tide of heroin addiction. You can read it here.

And also this morning, someone from Europe that I follow on Instagram, who only posts photos and quotes (in English) of various  writers and poets from all over the world, asked if he could quote me on his page today. I was so flattered. In all honesty, I love his page because I have found out about some really interesting writers and poets from South America and Europe by following his page.

He quoted from the ending of Neptune & Surf, and I sent him a photo of me, taken by Valerie while we were at Coney Island. This was during the years that I was actually writing Neptune & Surf. (N & S takes place on Coney Island in 1955.) (The photo is from 1994 or 1995.)

Since I now know how to capture people’s Instagram feeds, I share it with you here. (I really was so touched, gang.)

So my morning has been off to a pretty good start around here today.

I’m planning on just spending the day working on the new erotic short story, “Novitiate.” I’m at one of those junctures where the story begins to just go off the charts in terms of the eroticism, so it requires 110,000,000 % of my concentration.  (Luckily, I’m not prone to exaggerate, otherwise I’d probably throw some really huge number out there…)

Okay, now, on a more serious note.  I have to very soberly question what’s up with the new Tom Petty album — Wild Flowers & All the Rest. Slavish devotee of Tom Petty’s that I am, he (and Rick Rubin, the producer) had said over the years that there were something like 25 additional songs that were not included on the original album, but that Tom Petty had wanted to release on a follow-up to Wildflowers some day.

And this new album has been touted for many, many months (years?) as that album. However, even while there are 54 (!!) songs on this new album, there are only 6 (!!) songs on this collection that I would consider to be actually new, never-heard-before songs.

There are many songs that are never-before-heard versions of songs we already know — meaning they are his home demos. Or perhaps songs with their original lyrics, that wound up changing when the songs were eventually released on other albums. Or “live” versions of songs, etc.

But there are only 6 songs that I don’t recall ever hearing before, ever.  So where are the other 19 or so “brand new songs”?

I’m wondering if, next October, when we once more commemorate the anniversary of his death, they will be releasing the all-new Oops We Forgot to Include These follow-up to the follow-up of Wildflowers

I’m not 100% super happy about this, gang.

Anyway.  On we go, right?

Okay, sometime next week, I think I will finally be a guest on one of M. Christian’s podcasts (he co-hosts two podcasts), discussing The Guitar Hero Goes Home, and probably also talking positively about sex-positive topics. I will keep you posted!! I will try hard to speak like a grown-up. We shall see if I succeed or not. (Although I have already told them I will discuss anything except politics and the virus. So I’m not sure if there are any grown-up topics left…)

Regardless, I’m excited!!

Okay, let me get started here, folks. I hope you have a great Saturday underway, wherever you are in the world! I leave you with my breakfast-listening music from this morning. I was once again back to More of The Monkees! This one, another great tune penned by Mike Nesmith, a member of the group, “The Kind of Girl I Could Love”.  I truly love this song, it is so upbeat (well, I love the whole album). Play it loud. And enjoy. Thanks for visiting, gang. I love you guys. See ya!!

“The Kind Of Girl I Could Love”

Girl, you look mighty good to me
And I know that you’ve got to be
The kind of girl I could love.

You’ve got the sweetest pair of eyes
And your kiss would be paradise
The kind of girl I could love.

You do something to my soul
That no one’s ever done.
If you’re looking for true love
Then let me be the one.

Girl, deep in my soul I’m sure
And my heart has no doubt that you’re
The kind of girl I could love.
The kind of girl I could love.
[Repeat and fade]

© 1967 Michael Nesmith, Roger Atkins

One of Those Mornings

I awoke at 3:56am today, and the first thing I did was check my Amazon music library for the new Tom Petty album (which I apparently paid for at 12:01 am) and the only things in there were the 5 songs they had already dropped weeks ago…

So, after breakfast, journaling, meditation, cleaning up after 7 cats, etc., I spent about 15 minutes just trying to find the actual customer service page on Amazon. Then it took close to 30 more minutes to straighten out the problem.

I haven’t listened to it yet but at least now it is there. And I hope the rest of the day is just easy-peasy…

Yesterday, there was something on Instagram indicating that some of Nick Cave’s fans don’t like Cave Things because they feel it is mercenary and exploitative. And I guess he has been “cancelled” by some of his “cancel culture” fans because of it.

I do think the stuff is really expensive, but it kind of amuses me.  Plus, I am a capitalist, and I feel that if the market will bear it, then one should reap the rewards of it.

I certainly would do it if I thought anyone on Earth would pay me £300 plus shipping for anything whatsoever.

On a similar note, though — yesterday was a little depressing for me. The Guitar Hero Goes Home is not exactly selling like hotcakes, and no one has reviewed it, except for the initial reviews I got before the book was published. So there it languishes. Even though, because it is experimental fiction and not erotic fiction, I did not really expect it to sell that great. And I was sort of hoping that after I died, there would be some sort of market for it. And I’m actually really okay with that. But what depressed me, was that I scrolled through the out of print book titles of mine that are being sold on Amazon and they are once again,  going for extremely high prices.

For instance, a copy of Entangled Lives, selling for $967 plus $3.99 shipping (I’m guessing that Nick Cave autographed it…) (Just kidding.). A mass market paperback of Neptune & Surf selling for $132 plus $3.98 shipping.  Seven “new” editions of a hardcover version of When the Night Stood Still — each selling for $98.96 plus shipping, and that book never came out in hardcover, ever, so that’s just criminal all the way around.

What bothered me most was that a print edition of Twilight of the Immortal is selling for $244.99 plus shipping, and that edition is full of typos, which is why I canceled the contract with that publisher and pulled it from stores all over the world. And then hired a professional editor to edit the eBook edition. But it doesn’t really matter too much, does it?

And I felt two things: why can’t people pay those kinds of prices while the books are still in print and I can benefit from it in some way? And why is there more of a market for my out of print books, than for a brand new one that is just now “in print”?

I can’t really answer that.  But it makes me kind of sad — that my name is worth more than my actual living self.

So that sort of helped yesterday feel sucky. (But it does bode well for that idea that The Guitar Hero Goes Home will sell great after I’m dead…)

Otherwise, I did get some writing done on the new erotic short story (“Novitiate”). And in case you haven’t seen it yet, I posted a brief excerpt from it last night.

So, you know, it’s a sort of “onward” kind of day around here.

Tonight will be that killing frost, so I spent some time saying goodbye to the petunias yesterday.  And we shall see what next summer brings.

Other than that, I don’t really have too much to say here today, gang.

I leave you with last night’s listening music.  “Heart of Gold,” by Neil Young, from off of his incredibly great album Harvest (1972). Listen and enjoy. Have a wonder-filled Friday, wherever you are in the world. And thanks for visiting, gang. I love you guys. See ya.

Excerpt from “Novitiate”

Okay, gang, well even though I sent a one-page excerpt from “Half-Moon Bride” to the publisher today,  I am not going to post it here on the blog because that story is so insane, that reading any part of it separate from the complete story just makes it sound like the weirdest piece of pornography ever.

Eventually, you will be able to read the excerpt on the publisher’s website, but until then, you’ll just have to take my word for it — “Half-Moon Bride” is insane. (Of course, I mean that in the best possible way…)

I have decided, however, to post an excerpt from the new short story that I’m writing, “Novitiate.” This is toward the beginning of the story, and amounts to about  5pages. The story will run about 30 pages, total, so there is a whole lot more that happens after this. But these opening pages introduce you to the 2 main characters, Paula and Dave. It is Summer 1966, just before the 4th of July. Paula is soon going to be willingly initiated into a secret Group that Dave belongs to, one that believes in Free Love, group sex, gang bangs, etc.

Again, this is sexually graphic material and won’t be suitable for all readers, so please be forewarned!! Thank you!!


(This is a work in progress! Please excuse any typos.)

Excerpted from “Novitiate”
© 2020 Marilyn Jaye Lewis

Dave kissed her some more and now let his hand slide down inside her cotton panties, his fingers slipping into her pussy hair. She had her legs spread wide for him now. He could feel that she was already wet. “Don’t forget about Terri,” he warned her. “She’s pretty rough, you know. Worse than most of the guys.”

“I know,” Paula said quietly.

“She’s going to try to humiliate you in front of all of them. But just keep up with her. Let her have her way. Do whatever she tells you to do. Because I’ll tell you a secret.”

“What?” Paula was all ears.

“The guys love to see girls get humiliated by Terri. And if you can take what she dishes out, they are really gonna go for you. Plus, when some other girl gets initiated into the group, maybe it’ll be your turn to humiliate that one. You think you’d like that?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never been with a girl.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes, I’m serious.”

“Even though you go to that fancy college for girls? I thought they all got into serious pussy in those private girls’ schools.” Dave playfully slid his fingers around between her slippery pussy lips to emphasize his point.

“Well, if they do,” Paula confessed softly, spreading her legs wider, “they haven’t been doing it with me.”

“Uh-oh. It looks like we have an audience,” Dave whispered to Paula suddenly.

It was the two guys from behind the Dairy Queen – they were still smoking cigarettes but now they’d wandered into the field; they were blatantly watching Dave and Paula make out.

“You know them, though, right?” Paula asked.

“Yeah. A little. They’re harmless – just horny. What do you think, should we give them a show?”

“You mean, make out in front of them?”

“Yeah, but you know – show some real skin. Get down and dirty. You want to?”

Actually, the idea really appealed to Paula, but she didn’t want to come right out and say it. “If you want to,” she said.

“Let’s do it. It’ll be good practice for you. But let’s act like we don’t see them. It’ll make for a better show.”

They resumed kissing, acting as if they were the only two people for miles.

Bravely, Paula started it, by inching her dress up to her waist, so that it would be easy for them to see her summer legs – tanned and bare, except for her sandals – and that Dave’s hand was down inside her pink panties.

Paula moaned into Dave’s kisses then, really swirling her tongue around in his mouth. Until this very moment, having an audience while making out had only been a thing she’d fantasized about – now her heart was actually beginning to race. Dave couldn’t help but notice the sudden difference in Paula’s kisses. She was always a good kisser, but this was different. He figured that if Paula got this excited over showing her panties to a couple of guys who were watching from a distance – wait until she’s actually showing her pussy, he thought. And then he figured that she was going to do just fine at the Group’s campground, at the center of an all-out gangbang for an entire week’s initiation.

Feeling inspired, he took his hand out of Paula’s panties, sat up and then pulled her panties straight down – all the way to her ankles.

“Dave!” Paula gasped, hoping that the guys hadn’t heard her. She was trying to appear blasé about all this, but she hadn’t been expecting him to do that.

He worked her panties free of her little summer sandals and tossed them beside her onto the grass.

“There, that’s better,” he said quietly as he laid down next to her again. “This’ll keep them interested.” Then he lightly kissed her face, whispering, “Spread those legs wide again, baby. Give them a good look.”

Paula did as he told her to do. She parted her legs again, but showing her pussy now, and she knew she was the center of attention; she could literally feel their eyes from across the field, trying to look between her legs. She was so excited now, that when Dave’s fingers went up her hole, it felt electrifying.

They kissed like that for a while – mashing their tongues together like crazy, with Dave’s fingers up Paula’s hole. And he was doing that thing he did – getting his fingers in deep and rubbing them around up there, while pressing the palm of his hand right up against her stiff little clit – rubbing it at the same time. It always felt so good when he did that. It made Paula spread her legs wider while they kissed. She was rocking her pussy hole all over Dave’s fingers now.

“Is this enough?” Dave finally said. “Should I tell them to leave? Or do you want to keep going?”

“Let’s keep going,” she whispered. “At least for a little bit.”

“Okay, baby,” Dave said quietly, easing his fingers out of her pussy. “Why don’t you lean over me a little so that I can unzip the back of your dress.”

Dave laid down in the grass and Paula leaned over him to give his mouth some more of her tongue, while he reached behind her and unzipped her sundress.

And while he was at it, he unhooked her bra, too.

It was too exciting. Paula almost couldn’t believe it. She knew what Dave was going to do; he was going to pull down the top of her dress so that he could suck her nipples and fool around with her tits. They did this kind of thing all the time, but never with an audience.

As casually as she could, she sat up and let Dave slide her sundress down her arms and then push it down around her waist. Then he slid her bra off of her, too.

She was completely topless. Her tits just right out there – naked – for both of those guys to see.

Dave pulled her back down onto the grass and began sucking on her tits. First one nipple, then the other, then back again. While his fingers went right back up her slick hole, his palm rubbing against her clit again.

Oh my god, Paula moaned quietly; her nipples were always so sensitive, but this time, it felt unbelievable. Her tits in Dave’s mouth. Her pussy hole full of Dave’s busy fingers while her legs were spread. She always loved making out with Dave, but having this sudden audience made her feel so – she wasn’t sure what: erotic. That’s what it was. To be watched felt so erotic.

“Come here,” Dave suddenly said, grabbing her by the thigh and pulling her over on top of him, until she was straddling him. Then he pulled her head down to his, to suck some more of her tongue, but making sure the bottom of her dress was bunched up high around her waist now, giving their audience of two an impressive view of Paula’s wide-open pussy.

“You like that?” he asked her quietly. “Knowing they can see you down there?”

“Mm hm,” she said, starting to breathe heavy. Truthfully, she was nervous, but so horny. She couldn’t believe how exciting it felt – to be spread open and on view to whoever was behind her; to whoever wanted to see. She didn’t care now if there was a whole crowd of guys, just as long as they wanted to see.

“Are we going to go all out?” he said.

“If you want to.”

“You want me to take my dick out and we can just start fucking – with you riding it? Or you could turn around and suck my dick for a while. I bet that would probably give them a real thrill.”

She hadn’t thought of that. She was completely game. “Okay,” she said. “I’ll do it.”

Trying not to look directly at them, she turned herself around and straddled Dave – just facing away from him now. Her bare tits were totally on display while she unbuckled Dave’s belt, then unzipped his jeans and took out his cock. It was thick and erect and she gave it a couple of strokes – trying to be casual, trying to give them a good show. Then, taking her time, she leaned down and began to suck it – to actually suck Dave’s dick in front of those guys. She sucked it in and out of her mouth; nice and slow, up and down, up and down; with her tits just right out there and her nipples hard.

Two total strangers, she thought. Strangers to her, anyway. Watching her. Watching her suck Dave’s dick.

The sun was already sinking lower in the sky, but Paula figured it was still light enough for the two guys to see what they wanted to see. And then to her delight, Dave slid Paula’s hips down towards his face, until her pussy was planted right on his mouth.

With or without an audience, that felt incredible.

It was a first for Paula.

Dave had already eaten her out a number of times this summer – more than any other guy ever had, making her actually come with just his tongue. And in return, she’d given him blowjobs – he’d even told her she was good at it, sometimes coming in her mouth and she would swallow it. But this position – where they both did it to each other at the same time? This was brand new for Paula and it felt so good. And to have an audience for it! An audience of two horny guys.

Dave had her spread wide back there, keeping her clit exposed and licking it, wiggling her clit with his tongue – just the way she liked it. It was the thing she fantasized about, alone in her bed at night, hours after a date with Dave had ended. She was always able to make herself come a second time with her fingers – thinking about him licking her down there and how crazy it always felt to come in his mouth. No other guys she’d dated were ever that patient. Dave was the first guy who kept at it with his tongue until she came.

But tonight – she was in no hurry to come. Tonight, it was the show that mattered more. And if Dave didn’t ease up on her clit, she was going to come

“What’s the matter?” Dave asked quietly, as Paula scooted off his face.

“Nothing,” she said, turning around now to face him again. “I just don’t want to come yet.”

He laughed at her. “I’ve never seen you this horny. You really like to be watched, don’t you?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “I guess. This is my first time.”

“Those guys are getting pretty close to us – did you know that?”

“No,” she replied coyly, as she scooted all the way down between Dave’s legs and took his dick in her mouth again – only this time, she was on her knees in the grass with her naked ass in the air.

“Oh fuck,” Dave laughed again. “You’re not being fair to them, you know?”

Paula didn’t answer him. She was too busy sucking his stiff dick in and out of her mouth, and pushing her ass out, making sure it was easy to see her soaking pussy.

Oh god,” he groaned. “Paula, I’m gonna fucking come – you are totally turning me on right now.” He pushed her head off of him; he wanted to catch his breath. “Those guys are looking right at your pussy. They’re going to come over here.”

Paula stayed on her knees between Dave’s legs, kept her ass arched and her pussy right out there. “What should I do if they do?” she asked him quietly.

“Whatever you want, baby. I’m right here. No one’s going to hurt you. Do you feel like fucking a couple of guys tonight?”

“I don’t know,” she said softly.

“Well decide,” he told her, “because they’re coming right over here. You guys want something?” he called out to them.

Too nervous now to even move, Paula stayed planted between Dave’s legs, his hard dick right in front of her face, her pussy wide open and in the air. She was too nervous to even turn around and look at the guys, but she knew they were standing right there – right there – and that they could see everything.

“We just wanted to look,” one of the guys said. “It didn’t seem like you guys cared that we could see you.”

And the other one echoed, “Yeah, man, we just wanted to look.”

Dave replied, “You just wanted to watch her suck my cock? Or did you actually want to fuck her?”

Paula couldn’t believe her ears. She blushed and smiled at Dave and then took his dick back into her mouth. It was all she could think of to do. But she made sure to suck it nice and slow again.

“Oh fuck,” the first guy said. “You mean, we could actually fuck her?”

In response, Paula scooted her knees a little farther apart in the grass.

“She seems willing,” Dave told him.

“Oh fuck,” the guy said again. “Oh fuck, yeah, I’ll fuck her! If she wants it, I’ll fuck her.”

Paula couldn’t believe it was happening. She heard the guy unzip his jeans. She was too worked up now to so much as glance at him, afraid that she’d come to her senses if she made eye contact with either one of them; she tried to just focus on sucking Dave’s dick. He was getting so hard.

Her mouth sucked it steadily in and out, in and out. Her head moving nice and slow – up and down, up and down.

And then it was really happening – the guy was kneeling behind her, and his dick was actually going into her. He was guiding it in, pushing it, and then his stiff cock opened her soaking pussy hole all the way up. And it felt so good! A total stranger was down on his knees behind her, sticking his dick in her pussy and fucking her. Really fucking her! She couldn’t believe it.

Mmm, she moaned, her mouth full of Dave’s thick cock.

The guy held tight to her hips as he pounded his cock pretty hard into her hole. Paula moaned and groaned all over Dave’s dick. Really sucking it now while the guy fucked her like crazy.

“Oh shit,” Dave suddenly said. And he grabbed Paula’s head and began pumping his dick quickly into her mouth. She could barely keep up with it. “Oh shit, oh yeah,” he said. “Suck my dick, suck my dick.” And then he was coming in Paula’s mouth! It happened that fast. She tried to swallow it down but she felt overwhelmed; the guy was fucking her so hard now. “Oh fuck, yeah,” the guy was saying. “Fucking yeah – look at her suck that cock.”  And the force of his fucking – it was making her grunt uncontrollably – how was she supposed to swallow Dave’s cum when that guy behind her was fucking her so hard?

But she tried. She swallowed what she could but mostly she just made a big mess all over the crotch of Dave’s jeans. Oh oh oh, she grunted repeatedly now. It felt so good.

The guy was coming in her. Coming. Already. And fucking her so hard. He slammed it into her pussy. Fuck yeah, fuck yeah, he kept saying.

Paula was looking right at Dave now, while the guy behind her pounded her pussy relentlessly. Oh god, oh yeah, she said, over and over, panting and grunting in rhythm to the guy’s cock jerking up inside her, unloading his cum in her. She couldn’t help it. It felt incredible. Oh god, she grunted again. While Dave smiled at her and sort of shook his head.

Then, just as quickly as the guy had come in her, he was finished and pulled out. And to her surprise, Dave said, “Next?”

Oh god, she thought. Oh god. She couldn’t believe it.

But it was happening. She heard the next guy unzipping his jeans now. Only now, Dave was putting his own dick back inside his jeans and he moved out from under Paula and now he sat right in front of her and just watched, as the second total stranger planted himself between her spread knees and pushed his cock right into her hole.

“Oh shit,” she said softly, because now it was just her, alone, on her elbows and knees out in the field, her entire dress bunched around her waist as she got herself fucked from behind by another stranger – while Dave sat and watched.

“Oh fuck,” she said a little louder – because this second guy’s cock was kind of big; it was really stretching her open back there. And he had a tight hold on her hips, making sure she was taking every inch of him. “Oh fuck, oh fuck,” she said again, over and over. She was really getting a pounding now. And her pussy was taking every bit of it. “Shit,” she spluttered now. “Shit!”

Then the first guy came into view and sat down in the grass next to Dave. Paula couldn’t help but look right at both of them as they lit a couple of cigarettes and then just sat there and smoked, and watched her get fucked.

Oh god, oh god, yes – she chanted, even though now she was kind of embarrassed by how good it felt. And the guy didn’t seem anywhere close to coming. Fuck, fuck, she panted. “Oh fuck!” – the guy drove into her pussy hard that time and got in there too deep. Shit! she cried.

She planted her knees farther apart to steady herself. Yeah, yeah, oh fuck.

It was the hardest fucking she had ever gotten; her fingers were digging into the grass now to try to hold on. Each time the guy hammered his cock into her hole, her knees slid farther along the grass, so he would grab her hips tighter and pull her right back. “Oh shit!” she cried, again and again, as the stranger’s cock went in, over and over, going way too deep. Really nailing her hole each time and stretching her pussy beyond belief.

And he wouldn’t come. He just wouldn’t come. He was having the time of his life, fucking Paula’s tight little pussy until she didn’t think she could take it anymore.

And Dave and the other guy sat and smoked and watched every second of it.

The fireflies were starting to rise up out of the field and the sun was almost gone from the sky now. And every time the guys took drags on their cigarettes, the little fireballs glowed bright red in front of her.

Oh oh oh oh, Paula grunted out uncontrollably with every punishing thrust. She felt delirious. The guy simply wouldn’t come. Until suddenly, the guy fell down on top of her, pushing her naked tits right into the grass, and, her legs spread so wide now, he pinned her down under his weight and hammered into her hole so hard and so fast that she had no doubt he was finally coming.

And the fact that he was hollering, “Fuck! Shit! Shit!” right in her ear, was only some noisy extra proof.

Excerpted from “Novitiate”
© 2020 Marilyn Jaye Lewis

A Glorious Thursday Before the Frost!

Yes, tomorrow is allegedly bringing with it a killer frost, and so I will be bidding a fond adieu to all my petunias today.

Even though I don’t usually grow petunias, because of the virus, I wasn’t able to get what I usually like to plant in the flower boxes on the porches. However, the petunias made me really, really happy this summer. Just a constant riot of color — not to mention one of the flower boxes on the front porch served as home base to my lovely toad. (Through his impeccable patience, I eventually learned how to not water his head when watering the petunias…) (Nobody stares at you quite as patiently as a toad with water on his head.)

And in honor of tomorrow bringing the first real frost, today is an amazingly lovely fall day.  Cool but not cold, sunny, with gorgeous leaves everywhere — most of them still on the trees for as far as the eye can see.

And I’m doing laundry. This is the time of year where I start to bring out the flannel sheets for my own bed – the bottom sheet, only. I don’t usually need all the flannel sheets until closer to Thanksgiving (late fall).

So everything is changing and I am doing totally okay with it. I’m not morbidly missing the summer. (We’ll see how tomorrow goes — the “new” Tom Petty album drops tomorrow. It might make me really sad and really miss the summer, but we’ll just wait and see.)

Tom Petty Wildflowers & All the Rest

I keep thinking that, one of these days, life will just be fine and I’ll be okay with everything that comes my way. (I’ve been thinking this for 60 years now, but that fact should not cloud our judgment! Today could end up being the very day when suddenly I am forever totally okay with everything…)


Well, the publisher needs an excerpt from “Half-Moon Bride” to put on their website, and they suggest that it be, you know — erotic. To get people to want to read more of the story (i.e., to buy it).

So I’m reading it over for the first time since I wrote it, trying to process this whole insane story. It is just, like, pornographic from start to finish, gang, so where do you jump in and create an “excerpt”? You kind of have to read it from start to finish, to get any real grasp on it. Separating out even the smallest segment of it just ends up seeming like utterly insane porn, in my opinion.  (Two hermaphrodites on their wedding night; one extremely giant-sized, the other one rather petite (and a truly clueless virgin). And if you don’t know those facts ahead of time, then it really comes off sounding insane.) (i.e., the clueless virgin loses her virginity while trying to come to terms with also suddenly having a P-spot and her first erection…) (aka: the joys of hermaphrodite sex!!)

9,384 Laughing High Res Illustrations - Getty Images

But the publisher needs me to do this ASAP, because they asked for it last week, so I need to figure out an “excerpt” that will not make me seem like the most insane writer in the annals of recorded history.

Once I do that, I will get back to work on the newest erotic short story around here, “Novitiate.” (If I can come up with excerpts from either story that seem tame enough for the blog, I will post them this evening. We’ll see!)

And over at Cave Things, a new charm is coming soon that I’m sure you’ll want to grab as soon as it’s available:

Isn’t that cute?? I’m guessing it will cost about £300 (plus shipping) and sell out in about ten minutes…

All right, well. I need to go downstairs and check on that laundry and finish making the bed. I hope you have a lovely Thursday wherever you are in the world and in whatever season it is where you are!! I leave you with my driving  to town & back music from yesterday. This is such a great song for driving really fast on an almost empty highway, with blue skies and gorgeous fall trees all around you for miles and miles and miles. I hadn’t listened to this song in years.  Rod Stewart’s legendary version of “Rhythm of My Heart,” from his 1991 album, Vagabond.  Needless to say, to get the full effect of this song, you have to turn the volume up to eleven

Okay!! Thanks for visiting, gang. I might be back tonight to regale you with brand-new literary “erotica”. We’ll see how it goes. I love you guys. See ya!

“Rhythm Of My Heart”

Across the street the river runs
Down in the gutter life is slipping away
Let me still exist in another place
Running under cover of a helicopter blade

The flames are getting higher in effigy
Burning down the bridges of my memory
Love may still be alive somewhere someway
where they’re downing only deer
a hundred steel towns away

Oh the rhythm of my heart is beating like a drum
with the words “I love you” rolling off my tongue
No never will I roam for I know my place is home
where the ocean meets the sky
I’ll be sailing

Photographs and kerosene light up my darkness
light it up, light it up
I can still feel the touch of your thin blue jeans
Running down the alley I’ve got my eyes all over you baby
Oh baby

Oh the rhythm of my heart is beating like a drum
with the words “I love you” rolling off my tongue
No never will I roam for I know my place is home
where the ocean meets the sky I’ll be sailing
I’ll be sailing

Oh I’ve got lightning in my veins
shifting like the handle of a slot machine
Love may still exist in another place
I’m just yanking back the handle
no expression on my face

Oh the rhythm of my heart is beating like a drum
with the words “I love you” rolling off my tongue
Never will I roam for I know my place is home
where the ocean meets the sky
I’ll be sailing

Oh the rhythm of my heart is beating like a drum
with the words “I love you” rolling off my tongue
No never will I roam for I know my place is home
where the ocean meets the sky
I’ll be sailing

The rhythm of my heart is beating like a drum
with the words “I love you” rolling off my tongue
Never will I roam for I know my place is home
where the ocean meets the sky
I’ll be sailing

© 1986 Traditional;  & John Capek, Marc Jordan

Day #2 On the CBD Oil !!

The neck pain is absolutely gone. Yay.  And I’m not quite as “relaxed” as I was yesterday morning, but I am still very relaxed and in an incredibly great mood. So we’ll just see how it progresses.

Anything to stay off of Advil and Tylenol.

The best news of all, though, is that we FINALLY have the cover art fixed for The Guitar Hero Goes Home, and the formatting is also fixed. So that didn’t take too long, right? Just a couple of fucking months.

But I am just so happy, gang. Even though the eBook has been fine from the beginning, I am finally feeling like the “book” is actually done. Another “baby” alive in the world for me. To live indefinitely. I never get tired of that feeling.

The first time I went from being published in underground zines, to being published in an actual book,  was when I sold the story “The Birthday Party” to Masquerade for an anthology called The Unmade Bed (1997):


9780739406519: THE UNMADE BED Twentieth Century Erotica

And I was so excited.  What an incredible thrill. And it wasn’t my best story — it was really tame compared to what I normally write — but it did seem to be popular, and it went on to get published a few more times over the years. But I can’t remember where. I know Alyson Tyler published it in The Happy Birthday Book of Erotica, or something like that. And it’s in one of the Muse Revisited collections.

(I’m a really great sales person, aren’t I? “It’s out there somewhere, all you have to do is find it. Let me know how it goes.”)

When my first book came out, (Neptune & Surf, also from Masquerade), I was over the moon!!  And since for whatever reason, Wayne (my husband at the time) wasn’t willing to celebrate with me, I went out for drinks with Christy Cassidy and Nan Kinny — and Nan was one of my absolute heroes, a true role model for me. I just loved her. (She’s not dead, they just moved away and I haven’t seen either of them in ages.) Nan was one of the founders of the legendary On Our Backs magazine, the first hardcore dyke BDSM porn magazine. It was out of San Francisco. And I just worshiped her and what she had accomplished with that magazine.

ON OUR BACKS; Entertainment for the Adventurous Lesbian Vol. 11, No. 01,  January/February 1995: (1995) | Alta-Glamour Inc.

Anyway, Christy and Nan were both really happy for me. And it was the very best feeling, having a book come out. And I never get tired of the feeling, gang. I absolutely never do.

Although, one thing I will say is that, usually, no one celebrates with me. The only people who are excited for me are people who are colleagues in some way — in the industry. “Regular” people — friends and family –always distance themselves from my books. Even people that I’m very close to — friends/lovers who might have stories or whole books dedicated to them, or serve as the inspiration for some of my early stories. No one wants to be publicly connected to what I write. Which makes me  sad, but I’ve gotten used to it. And I find ways to celebrate on my own. So this is how I celebrated last night!! (We’re drinking CBD tea!!) (Just kidding…)

80 Best Antique /Vintage Child's Tea Sets images in 2020 | kids tea set,  vintage children, childrens tea sets


So. I’m going to get started here. It is a really lovely fall day here in Crazeysburg. I hope it’s equally lovely wherever you are in the world today! Thanks for visiting. I’m leaving you with two things — the same song, but two different titles, and two different singers. “Weeping Annaleah” by Tom Jones, and “Sleeping Annaleah” by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds. (A song written by the great Mickey Newbury and Dan Folger.)  Contrast and compare!! And enjoy. All righty. Have a great day, wherever you are!  I love you guys. See ya.

Goodness Gracious!

Yesterday, I was having some minor pain issues in my neck and that hip joint again, so rather than take Tylenol or Advil, which I hate to take, I decided to try CBD oil for the first time.

Well, it actually works just fine as a pain medication but, man, does it relax me.  (Translation: I don’t feel like doing a fucking thing!)

I’m not sure if I’ll take it again, or not. I guess we’ll just wait until I get more pain issues, since it does indeed work for pain. But me feeling truly relaxed is not a sight that is often seen…

So I got nothing done on the new erotic short story yesterday (“Novitiate”). I hope today will yield even a tiny bit more than that! We shall see.( I’m still feeling rather relaxed and I took the CBD oil yesterday.)

I did get a sample of what the postcard announcing the reading of  my play is going to look like, though. It’s different from the other image I posted recently (I see there is a typo, so ignore that):

The “New Heritage” group is the Harlem production company. So I’m excited, gang!!

And I also found this exciting, although it has nothing to do with me. The discovery of a 2000-year-old mikveh (Jewish ritual bath) in the Lower Galilee — this is from the Second Temple Period in Israel, the time of Jesus. And of course the Galilee was the area Jesus practiced in. You can read the details of the excavation by the Israel Antiquities Authority here. The mikveh is in the lower right hand corner. It was found on the property of a 2000-year-old farm.

The farm with the ritual bath (lower right). Okay, well, there is absolutely nothing else going on here right now because I am sort of in la-la land.  I’m hoping this will change at any moment!!

Meanwhile, I’ll close this and drink some more coffee and stare.

I hope you have a terrific Tuesday, whatever you’re doing and wherever you are in the world. Thanks for visiting!! I leave you with a song I was thinking about here this morning. I’ve posted it on the blog before, but here it is again. Sometimes I take this song really personally:  “Waiting for You” from the Ghosteen album by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds (2019). Lyrics are in the video. So listen (and read along) and enjoy!! I love you guys. See ya.