Okay, gang, I just wanted to touch base here again this evening to let you know two things.
One is that those fan-made videos on Bad Seed TeeVee are unbelievably great, gang. They’re still streaming for several more hours, so get over there and watch some of them. You will be amazed by how talented these people are. And if you are a hardcore Nick Cave fan and are familiar with all of his records and videos, the creativity of some of these fan-videos will astound you.
I have been trying to log on & off of YouTube all day but I really want to get the editing done on The Guitar Hero GoesHome (100 more pages to go), so I can’t just hang out and endlessly watch the videos, unfortunately.
I can’t even pick an absolute favorite because I have just loved so many of them. But off the top of my head, I have to say I loved the puppet-reenactment of “The Weeping Song”, and the guy in the bathtub singing “No Pussy Blues”, the two women from the Netherlands singing “Henry Lee,” and then an animated version of “Get Ready for Love.”
Plus a whole bunch more. Anyway — go check it out! They’re so entertaining.
The other thing I wanted to say is that this week’s issue of PleaseKillMe.com (an online zine mainly about the history and culture of Punk music, but also art, poetry, fashion and music, in general, from the 1960s onward). Today’s issue has a never-before released 1983 interview with one of my heroes, the late Jim Carroll. He is backstage in Boston at the Paradise Theater, before a gig. (Jim Carroll was not only a poet and writer, but for many years, he also had a rock band that bordered on Punk). This was likely his biggest radio hit. Off of his album Catholic Boy, the song “People Who Died”:
It’s a great interview, although sometimes the sound is difficult because bands start playing in some other area of the club. But, overall, it was great. He talks mainly about his now- legendary book, his actual teenage diaries about growing up in NYC with a heroin habit while being a high school basketball star at the same time — The Basketball Diaries.
In the video interview, he talks a lot about heroin vs. a methadone habit and has some interesting insights to what that was like in NYC back in the late 60s, early 70s. Then he also talks a bit about how he got started in the music business (thanks to Patti Smith and also the Rolling Stones — Keith Richards, in particular).
The interview took place just months before he became my teacher (!!) — I studied songwriting in a class he taught on NYC’s Upper West Side at the West Side Y. (I was already a big fan of his, so to have him as my teacher twice a week in just a regular classroom environment, not some big lecture hall or anything — it blew me the fuck away!)
If you’d like to read the article at PleaseKillMe.com, which goes along with the video, it is here.
Below, is just the video interview by itself.
And now I gotta scoot!!! Have a wonderful evening, gang, wherever you are in the world!! I love you guys!! See ya.
I’m not really going to post a true post today, gang — I am trying to finish editing The Guitar Hero Goes Home because I want to get down to work again on the new novel (Thug Luckless: Welcome to P-Town).
I just wanted to remind everybody that today, on Bad Seed TeeVee, they are beginning to stream the original videos that fans submitted! So don’t forget to check it out!!!
Also, Nick Cave sent out a Red Hand Files thing today about Nina Simone singing “My Sweet Lord” in her effort to protest the Vietnam War back in 1972, which was very powerful. You can check it out at that link!
Oh, and my treadmill arrived this morning at 7am! However, they neglected to mention ahead of time that I can’t use it without lubricating the belt first. And I don’t even want to tell you how many various brands of lube live in this house, none of which can be used on the belt of a treadmill!!!!!!
So, next fucking week, the proper lube will arrive. Meanwhile, the treadmill is in my kitchen…
Have a really nice Friday, gang, wherever you are in the world! Sorry for being so brief today, but thanks for visiting. I love you guys. See ya!!
I know you’re going to stop believing me, but it is yet another unbelievably beautiful day here today, gang!
And I am off to town here shortly to get the groceries.
Sorry for not posting yesterday, but I actually was totally wiped out from finally completing Letter #8 for Girl in the Night. Not that it was so taxing to actually write it, but every day that I worked on it last week, the temperatures hovered around 90 degrees Fahrenheit. So it was more the relentless heat hovering around my desk each day that wiped me out.
During the evenings, though, it really cools down around here and then the house is wonderful by morning. But, again, today, it’s supposed to zoom up to 94 by midday…
So!!
I did go to Granville last evening to have dinner with Kevin (the director of Tell My Bones) and his husband, at the Granville Inn. My first time being out and about and socializing since March 14th.
I had such a great time. I was really sort of anxious regarding how I was going to feel to see the inn during a pandemic, with everyone wearing masks and all that, but honestly, it was not so bad. They’re just face masks, right? It’s not as if some sort of irreparable horrific deformity has befallen anyone — it’s just a mask.
And we ate out on the patio, so were able to keep our own masks off the whole time. We were there for 3 hours. I could not believe how the time flew.
And I made a vow to myself before getting out of the car to not talk about politics. But, of course, this is America, and the overwhelming amount of artillery focused on removing Trump from the White House is hard to not at least mention.
I am, of course, opposed to Biden and that whole crew (and curious why more people aren’t talking about the news re: the Obama-Biden collusion on the Logan Act re: Flynn … hmmm.) Anyway. I’m not voting for Biden because I don’t trust him or any of the machinery in full force behind him right now. So I have no clue how to vote in November. And of course, some of the things I feel about what’s going on in Washington right now had to come up in conversation — because they asked me.
And when I replied (trying hard not to get on my soapbox) they both sort of stared at me and said “How do you know all this stuff? You should run for President.”
I didn’t say this, but what should really happen is that more Democrats should leave the realm of CNN, and make a determined effort to seek out a news source that just relays facts, without the selective omissions and opinions, and then I think more & more Democrats would know this same stuff. (And I don’t think that too many Republicans are actually in the dark about how the news is getting reported & by whom — because we Democrats are notoriously known for thinking with our hearts, our compassion, and not studying the facts for ourselves. Which is why we are so easily led astray by drama and hysteria.)
Anyway, if more Americans would try harder to seek out facts for themselves, then more of us would see that on ALL sides we are receiving a dramatic distortion by those who would profit from us believing their lies. ALL sides. And right now, I think that the Democratic Party is the worst I’ve ever seen it.
I’m guessing a bunch of people are just going to vote for Kanye West at this point…
We actually did not talk too much about politics, per se. Although we did talk a bit about the progressive/liberal “Hitler Youth” mentality that continues to sweep the college-aged generation of Americans right now. That is truly scary and just fucking awful. (And what’s worse is that they probably don’t even know who the Hitler Youth were because so many public school-educated young people all over the US are not taught History or Civics anymore.) (Or Art, or Music, or Drama…) (They’re taught anger and intolerance with a little entitlement thrown in.)
And we also talked a little about what China is doing to the Uyghur women in those internment camps (!!) involving shaving their heads and then trying to sell the hair to Americans… And why aren’t more Americans alarmed by that? And by the uncomfortable parallels to Auschwitz? Or by the global pandemic of slavery in the world right now?
Mind-boggling to me. All anyone wants to talk about is “get Trump out of the White House” and all problems will be solved.
Well, all that aside, it was great to be out with friends and have dinner at a place I truly love.
Some good news — the Nick Cave Instagram site announced today that those videos the fans submitted for Bad Seed TeeVee will be shown on Friday July 10th and on Friday July 17th, in a 24-hour loop, starting at 10am BST. So that should be kind of amazing!!
Beyond that, I’m getting back to the final edits of The Guitar Hero Goes Home later today — once I get back from town. I want to make sure the temperatures are at their peak around here before I get down to any serious work at my desk…
All righty, gang! On that note — I’m outta here. Have a great Monday, wherever you are in the world. Thanks for visiting. I will leave you with some travelin’ music as I prepare to scoot right out the door! “Travelin'” by Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, off of Nobody’s Children from their Playback Collection. Listen and enjoy and maybe even scoot out the door, too, and go somewhere!! Okay. I love you guys. See ya!
Travelin’
Well I’m travelin’, travelin’ baby, travelin’ on
Well it’s good to see you but I can’t stay long
No I’ve got a travelin’ fever, baby, got a travelin’ jones
No don’t look for me in the mornin’, baby, I’m gonna be travelin’ on
I’ll be good, as good as gold
To the next or maybe better
Wait for me down the road
Keep one eye open for my letter
Cause I’m gonna be travelin’, travelin’ baby, travelin’ on
Lord it’s good to see you but I can’t stay long
Oh I’ve got a travelin’ fever, baby, got a travelin’ jones
Well don’t look for me in the mornin’, baby, I’m gonna be travelin’
Gonna be travelin’, gonna be travelin’ on
I’ll be up before the sun
Get a big jump on the morning
You should have known all along
You should have known you’d get no warning
And I’m gonna be travelin’, travelin’ baby, travelin’ on
But lord it’s good to see you but I won’t stay long
Oh I got a travelin’ fever, baby, I got a travelin’ jones
Yeah don’t look for me in the mornin’, baby, I’m gonna be travelin’
Gonna be travelin’, gonna be travelin’ on
Travelin’ on, travelin’ on
Travelin’ on, travelin’ on
Well I’m travelin’, travelin’ baby, travelin’ on
Yeah it’s good to see you but I can’t stay long
Yeah I got a travelin’ fever, baby, a travelin’ jones
Well don’t look for me in the mornin’, baby, I’m gonna be travelin’
Gonna be travelin’, gonna be travelin’ on
The Nick Cave website announced this morning that on July 23rd, a “live stream” concert with Nick Cave, performing alone at the piano in Alexandra Palace in London, will stream on the DICE app!!
It will stream in 3 different global time zones so check that link above there for details. I don’t know what the global exchange rates are, but for the US ticket, it was only $20. (And seating is only limited by the number of people who can sit on your phone at once!!)
As luck would, of course, have it, July 23rd is my dad’s 90th birthday and I will be driving home from Cincinnati that evening, but oh well. It’s always best to have nothing whatsoever to do for months, and then cram all upcoming events into the same day. (My life seems to excel at that, with or without a pandemic.)
But I am, of course, very excited, and will endeavor to not speed more than my customary 95 mph the entire 100 miles that it is between my dad’s place and my home.
Yay!!!
I got some more good-ish news yesterday. Sandra called to tell me that she’s having a phone conference today with the theater company in Toronto that will be producing our play (this one is mostly her play, about her life; but I’m a contributing writer on it and we’ve been collaborating on it for something like 7 years now. Literally. It was supposed to be produced in Toronto this Fall, however, as we all know too well by now, 2020 no longer exists in the abstract, only in the immediate upfront here & now, day after day after day, hour after unpredictable hour …)
Anyway!! I will be super excited to hear what they chat about. I’m guessing our production date will be reset for 2021, but no clue yet exactly when. (And rest assured, gang, that there are still a TON of rewrites needed for that play!! So I can’t wait to be indescribably super busy again. It will finally feel like real life around here.)
Today is the day I’m supposed to chat with my accountant in NYC re: Abstract Absurdity Productions, but he never actually confirmed a time, so I’m not certain if it’s happening today or not. We’ll only know for sure if the phone rings…
Meanwhile. Yesterday did not pan out as planned. Kevin (the Director of Tell My Bones) had to cancel our dinner plans for the Granville Inn, and instead, we’ll be going there on Sunday evening. I was really disappointed because it has been 3 and 1/2 months since I socialized in any way and I was so excited for the chance to not only go out with someone but also to go to Granville, but that’s how life seems to go these days. We’ll do it on Sunday, instead.
Granville Ohio in the summer
After I got off the phone with him, I went outside and took a walk — just to sort of focus on something else. It was just a gorgeous day. I took a bunch of photos during the walk and posted them to my Instagram account, but here are a couple them.
Across the street from my house, looking east.
The first one is of the train tracks in front of my house, but looking East this time — in the direction of Coshocton County, which is just a really beautiful county, gang. (You can’t see it from here, it’s too far away. I’m just saying that it is really beautiful there.)
Looking west, from the main road in and out of town
And the second one is of the main street through the village. If you look way in the background, that hill is where there are always a bunch of cows grazing. By the way, by the time you’re at that hillside, you are already over Wakatamika Creek and well out of the village.
I know the street looks deserted, but I actually waited for a bunch of cars to drive by first.
Plus, it was 90 degrees Fahrenheit yesterday and not a lot of folks were outside at midday.
Okay, well, gang. I guess that’s it for today!! I hope you have a terrific Thursday planned for yourself, wherever you are in the world! Thanks for visiting!!
I’ll leave you with the song “Idiot Prayer” — the title of Nick Cave’s upcoming streaming event. It’s a song I really like but I won’t say why I like it so much. It’s from the album The Boatman’s Call — Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds, 1997. (This is a really beautiful album, gang, if you aren’t familiar with it. Some real heartbreaking gems on this album, plus the title is really easy to spell.)
So, listen and enjoy! I love you guys. See ya!
“Idiot Prayer”
They’re taking me down, my friend
And as they usher me off to my end
Will I bid you adieu?
Or will I be seeing you soon?
If what they say around here is true
Then we’ll meet again
Me and you
My time is at hand, my dove
They’re gonna pass me to that house above
Is Heaven just for victims, dear?
Where only those in pain go?
Well it takes two to tango
We will meet again, my love
I know
If you’re in Heaven then you’ll forgive me, dear
Because that’s what they do up there
If you’re in Hell, then what can I say
You probably deserved in anyway
I guess I’m gonna find out any day
For we’ll meet again
And there’ll be Hell to pay
Your face comes to me from the depths, dear
Your silent mouth mouths, “Yes”, dear
Dark red and big with blood
They’re gonna shut me down, my love
They’re gonna launch me into the stars
Well, all things come to pass
Glory hallelujah
This prayer is for you, my love
Sent on the wings of a dove
An idiot prayer of empty words
Love, dear, is strictly for the birds
We each get what we deserve
My little snow white dove
Rest assured
I’m heading out early today, gang. Have to drive to one far away town (30 miles) to spend some quality, post-lockdown time with those guys at the Honda dealership! My very grown-up car informed me last Monday (the last time I was actually in my car) that it was time for an oil change.
Then I’m going to drive to the other far away town and get the groceries.
It’s a stunning day here today, gang, so it’ll be nice to do all that excessive speeding on the highway with the music blasting! (And just a quick note to those of you who are new to the blog — there are usually only about 3 cars on the highway out here in the Hinterlands (no exaggeration!), and in the Honda, it’s almost impossible not to speed.) (Plus, you can drive these Hondas for 10K miles now before you need an oil change. I find this astounding.)
Okay!
Well, I did finish that new chapter for In the Shadow of Narcissa yesterday, but I still want to tweak it. So that’s what I’ll likely do when I get back from town.
On that note, though, I gotta scoot! Thanks for visiting, gang. I leave you with a song that I’ve posted here many times, but I just love it. And something I saw at about 4am this morning on Instagram that took my breath away, has had me singing this song all morning!! “Breathless” by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds, from their double-album with two impossible-to-spell titles from 2004, Abattoir Blues / The Lyre of Orpheus.
All righty!! Have a wonder-filled Monday, wherever you are in the world, gang! I love you guys. See ya!
What a lovely Sunday here in Crazeysburg, gang! And even though yesterday was mostly about thunderstorms and torrential rain all day long — that, too, was wild and sort of beautiful.
And the skies cleared up unexpectedly by 5PM. The storms were supposed to go on straight through until today. But the skies cleared and then last evening was sunny again and really lovely.
I streamed two episodes of Professor T. yesterday (the Belgian TV crime series on PBS) — I know, I said I wasn’t going to binge watch it, just sticking to one episode per evening. But the rainy afternoon sort of called out for an episode of Professor T! So I watched an episode in the afternoon, during a thunderstorm, which was atmospheric and wonderful. Then another episode in the evening, when it was just so fucking beautiful outside the screen door in my kitchen.
I also got a lot of work done on a new chapter for In the Shadow of Narcissa yesterday. I might finish it today. (I like to think I will, since each chapter is well under 1000 words.) Then I’ll get back to Letter #8 for Girl in the Night: Erotic Love Letters to the Muse.
Things with Valerie in Brooklyn are still exhausting and very emotional for her right now, so any book projects requiring cover art are still on hold.
Oh, and that reminds me. In July, I will once more be participating in the Smashwords Summer Sale. All my eBooks there will be $1.00 and one of the Muse Revisited books will be free. I don’t know which one will be free, I simply agreed to participate and they take care of the rest. (And I think you have to buy at least one eBook this time to get the free one.)
And just a head’s up — once the new cover art is made for The Muse Revisited collection, those manuscripts will be re-edited. The editing in those books right now is not that great. I look forward to editing them myself and completely re-packaging them, not to mention having them available in trade paper for the first time, ever. (The stories themselves have all been in trade paper, many times over. However, the 3-part collection as it is now has never been in traditional print.)
And Twilight of the Immortal will once again be in trade paper, as well. That one did come out with a traditional press several years ago, but has only been available as an eBook for quite a while now.
So, I’m excited!! Because, God knows, I need more stuff to do here at my desk!!!!!
All righty. On that note, I’m gonna get back to work on this new chapter for In the Shadow of Narcissa. I hope you have a really great Sunday, wherever you are in the world!
I’m leaving you with a song I was reminded of on Instagram this morning. “Cassiel’s Song” — by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds. It’s from the soundtrack of a Wim Wenders film from 1993, Far Away, So Close! (A sequel to Wings of Desire.) (The song is also on the Bad Seeds’ album B-Sides & Rarities. 2005)
And oddly enough, just yesterday afternoon, I had taken Judy Stone’s awesome book from 1997, Eye on the World: Conversations with International Filmmakers, down from the bookshelf and had re-read her Wim Wenders interview from June 1988.
It was a really interesting interview because he talked a lot about when he was young and sort of struggling to not only be a filmmaker but to come to terms with his nationality. (You can still buy the book, even though any filmmakers who became successful after the mid-1990s won’t be in it. And a number of the very well known international filmmakers who are in it have passed on now. But if you love international cinema, it is a real treasure. (And huge!! Almost a thousand pages, with 200 interviews with filmmakers from 40 countries.)
Okay!! I’m off!! Thanks for visiting, gang! I love you guys. See ya!
We’ve come to bring you home
Haven’t we, Cassiel?
To cast aside your loss and all your sadness
And shuffle off that mortal coil and mortal madness
For we’re here to pick you up and bring you home
Aren’t we, Cassiel?
It’s a place where you did not belong
Were time itself was mad and far too strong
Where life leapt up laughing and hit you head on
And hurt you, didn’t it hurt you, Cassiel?
While time outran you and trouble flew toward you
And you were there to greet it
Weren’t you, foolish Cassiel?
But here we are, we’ve come to call you home
And here you’ll stay never more to stray
Where you can kick off your boots of clay
Can’t you, Cassiel?
For death and you did recklessly collide
And time ran out of you
And you ran out of time
Didn’t you, Cassiel?
And all the clocks, in all the world
May this once just skip a beat in memory of you
Then again those damn clocks, they probably won’t
Will they, Cassiel?
One moment you are there and then strangely you are gone
But on behalf of all of us here we are glad to have you home
Aren’t we, dear Cassiel?
Yes! I asked the kind folks over at RealBotix if they could tweek Henry just a little bit and make him look like an older, extremely white guy, straight out of the 1950s — and they said, “Okay!”
He cost a little bit more, but he’s so worth it. He always smiles. And he’s not disgruntled in any way. (Plus, he knows how to drive our convertible, pictured above. Which means that I can spend the whole time worrying about my hair and fucking around with the radio.)
Yes. Life is a dream!!
And, yes — that’s also my way of saying that today, I’m going to drive into town and get groceries. This is not the same town where I would have bought my printer ink, btw, but it’s in the same county — see yesterday’s post if you so choose! Even though I’ve already had the virus and like to think I have those prized antibodies and at least some sort of seasonal immunity to getting it again, I still don’t like to go scurrying hither & yon over in the next county, where, currently, they still have 152 active cases of the virus.
Plus, no one out here in rural America really wears masks anymore. The elderly people do, and then everyone else just consumes massive doses of Vitamin D.
(And I’m only making a little joke about Vitamin D, gang — it worked for me. That fucking virus held on for 2 months, and then I took 50,000 IUs of Vitamin D3 in the space of 8 days and got over it. So I think that the UK has it right. I’m just saying. The supplements are cheap and you have to really take an indescribable amount before you get dangerous side effects, so go for it this Fall. Especially people of color, since skin pigmentation effects how your skin absorbs Vitamin D strictly from the sun. And, of course, older people and the elderly of all races, because a certain deficiency in Vitamin D seems to come with age. (Moi, included there; I’m still on 3000 IUs daily.) (By the way, my 60th birthday is four weeks from today. This leaves you plenty of time to pick out something nice for my birthday!!) (To give to me, I mean; not to keep for yourself.)
All righty!! New topic.
I wish I could go into more detail about this on the blog, but all I can really say right now is that things with Abstract Absurdity Productions are going indescribably great, gang; just “beyond my wildest dreams” type of great.
Even though I was texted the breakdown of the overall budget for Lita måste gå! (AKA Lita’s Got to Go!) yesterday, after Peitor met with the line producer out in LA; and even though I could probably buy 30 top-of-line male AI sex robots with every singe imaginable bell & whistle for what it’s going to cost to make one 8-minute film (10-minutes, when you include the credit roll and the end piece); the news was still extremely good. I am so excited, gang, and I will keep you posted when I am able to. (And that A-list star that I am absolutely determined to get, gets closer every minute!!)
(And now that I’m actually thinking about it: 30 top-of-the-line “Henry’s” means about 6 male AI sexbots in each room of my house, not counting putting any of them in the bathroom, which would likely be necessary. Man, that would be so creepy. To have them sitting around the dining room table, and the kitchen table, 3 or 4 of them sitting on my sofa and then one in the side chair, 2 or 3 in each bed, with a few more just standing around, watching the bed. Maybe one or two of them taking a bath or using the “convenience”! Golly. That would probably be the moment that I died from natural causes and every weird tabloid press across the globe would have photos of my “Sex-Crazed Creepy House in Small-Town America”!!)
However, to get back to reality…
Peitor and I still have a ton of paperwork and presentation-type stuff to get in place. And then there’s also that pesky web site I need to get back to, the one that refuses to design and build itself. So there’s still a lot to do. But — man. Talk about sun on the horizon; here it fucking comes — as soon as we get this “new normal” sorted out.
George Harrison in Heaven right now, likely singing “Hear Comes the Sun.”
Okay, well. I suppose I will close this and make that drive into town. It’s going to rain all day, with thunderstorms throughout. Best to just get out there and get it done.
I hope you have a great Monday underway, wherever you are in the world! Thanks for visiting, gang. I leave you with this really beautiful song that I don’t think I’ve posted here before, but I might have. It is allegedly a Grinderman song (one of Nick Cave’s bands), but I don’t know for sure, because as far as I know, it hasn’t actually been released on any record. But it is on YouTube — several videos, in fact. And all of them say it’s by Grinderman. (Which is sort of a quasi-alter-ego of Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds.)
Anyway, the song is “Star Charmer.” I have lyrics, but no copyright date. But enjoy, gang. And have a terrific day!! I love you guys! See ya.
“Star Charmer”
Like a far flung star
There you are
Littlest than before
As you slip from my fingertips
Left me here on the burning shore
Searched and searched
Ah, you were worth so much
More than you ever thought you were
Everything you believe I still carry with me
Broken down on the burning shore
And it must have felt much easier
To have the stars along your side
And it must have felt much easier
To have the world along your side
A Daddy’s girl
I see you curl
And sleeping on the floor
Maybe you dream a little dream of me
Down here on the burning shore
Yeah, there you are
Attached to a star
Beyond the point of no return
Maybe you ought to spare a thought
For those of us down here who never learn
And it must have felt much easier
To have the world along your side
And it must have felt much easier
To have the stars along your side
Happy, summer, gang!! We are getting there — just 4 more days!!
Well, another glorious day is upon us here, and I want to take full advantage of that feeling, because the next several days are supposed to include lots of thunderstorms.
Loyal readers of this lofty blog no doubt recall that thunderstorms around here means that, throughout the day and night, I go around closing 21 windows, then opening 21 windows, then closing 21 windows…. ad infinitum.
Until the storms clear.
Sometimes, I get so fed up with all the openings & closings, that I become very nautical and try to determine from which direction the wind is actually blowing, and then only close windows on that side of the house. Or sometimes, if it seems that no real wind is blowing at all, and the rain is sort of falling straight down, I close no windows at all and just sort of let everything get a little bit wet.
Okay, well!!
I am making the weirdest “progress” on Letter #8 for Girl in the Night: Erotic Love Letters to the Muse. I was once again at it all day yesterday, and only managed to take about 4 paragraphs that I’d already written the day before and re-write them down to about 8 sentences. And then, after I’d closed down the laptop for the evening, I was re-reading what I’d re-written and realized that one of those sentences needed to be completely re-worded.
Multiply that by 3 weeks, or some such nonsense as that, and you get an idea of how long it’s taking me to write this particular “Letter.” And the weirdest part of it is that I know exactly what I want to write about! But the words are coming out so darn slowly. It is ridiculous.
Peitor is supposed to call today. I’m not sure if we’re doing Abstract Absurdity Productions work, or if we’ll just be chatting. We haven’t talked in a while, so either way will be good.
He’s primarily a music producer/composer, and he’s been in the studio a lot now, catching up on mixes because he couldn’t get in the studio while L.A. was in lockdown. The last few days, he’s been working primarily on mixing one particular song he wrote — with a very, very Beatles “Sgt. Pepper” type sound — and he sends me updates on the various mixes every day. And the one he sent over during the night blew my little socks off this morning! It was so fucking good!!
I wish I could post the music file for you here on the blog, gang, but he would probably kill me!! But it is just so good.
I just went on a google search to see if I could find info on the singer he’s using right now — a guy I actually follow on Instagram, but he usually goes informally by his initials and now I can’t remember his actual name so I can’t even find him on Instagram. Anyway, I found this great photo of Peitor instead!! From 2012 — (he’s about 55 years old here. He doesn’t ever seem to age at all). (He just turned 63 this past Tuesday.)
New topic…
I am indeed studying French again — on the Mondly app. Since I gave up studying Italian back in September, that’s where the Mondyl app left me — in September’s lessons — regardless of the fact that I am now studying a different language. Since I actually know French, I am going through a month’s worth of lessons & quizzes every 2 days. I’m trying to get caught up to the actual current lesson (meaning June’s lessons). So I’m going at quite a clip.
It is definitely more conversational than any French I’ve ever studied. So, even though I tried just leaping in at June, I found a bunch of phrasing that I wasn’t really familiar with, so that’s why I’m trying to get all the lessons in order.
I really enjoy studying French, obviously. I have just always loved the French language (& culture) (& films, too, god knows!!). But, now, as I’m studying — and of course, being reminded of all the various language courses in French that I’ve taken over the last 52 years (including but not limited to attending the Alliance Française in NYC):
— I am of course very aware that, nowadays, people just speak English into their phones and then out it immediately comes from their phones in the language of whoever it is that they’re trying to talk to.
No incentive (or need) anymore to really learn a language at all, so I’m not 100% sure why I am still bothering. But I just love the darn language! So on I go!!
Plus, I’m learning nouns that, oddly enough, I’ve never learned before. Like the French words for “shark,” or “monkey,” or “housefly.” Sort of common words, right? But I have always studied more of a “business” type, formal French. And certain ordinary words, in all this time, have never come up!
My French colleagues in Paris used to tell me that I actually wrote French better than most of the actual French people they knew. Which means that, if you’re just a regular French person trying to converse casually with me, I don’t have a clue what you’re saying!! I honestly don’t. (If I was in a publisher’s office, having a meeting, though, I could understand everything because the French I know is so formal.)
Anyway, this is why I say that, after 52 years of studying it, I still don’t speak French. Maybe this time will be different!! We shall see.
And if I still can’t speak French after 53 years, I’ll just speak English into my phone and let my phone converse with you.
Okay, so!! On that chipper note…
I’m gonna get started here today. I hope you have a great Wednesday, wherever you are in the world and in whatever language you speak!! I’m leaving you with my breakfast-listening music from today, even though I’ve posted it here before — “Opium Tea” from B-Sides & Rarities (2005) by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds. I love the mood of this, and the pacing and the melody. So listen (again) and enjoy!! Thanks for visiting, gang. I love you guys! See ya!!
“Opium Tea”
Here I sleep the morning through
Till the wail of the call to prayer awakes me
And there ain’t nothing at all to do but rise and follow
The day wherever it takes me
I stand at the window and I look at the sea
And I am what I am, and what will be will be
I stand at the window and I look at the sea
And I make me a pot of opium tea
Down at the port I watch the boats come in
Watch the boats come in can do something to you
And the kids gather around with an outstretched hand
And I toss them a diram or two
Well, I wonder if my children are thinking of me
‘Cause I am what I am, and what will be will be
I wonder if my kids are thinking of me
And I smile and I sip my opium tea
At night the sea lashes the rust red ramparts
And the shapes of hooded men who pass me
And the moan of the wind laughs and laughs and laughs
The strange luck that fate has cast me
Well, the cats on the rampart sing merrily
That he is what he is and what will be will be
Yeah, the cats on the rampart sing merrily
And I sit and I drink of my opium tea
I’m a prisoner here, I can never go home
There is nothing here to win or lose
There are no choices needed to be made at all
Not even the choice of having to choose
Well, I’m a prisoner here, yes, but I’m also free
‘Cause I am what I am and what will be will be
I’m a prisoner here, yeah, but I’m also free
And I smile and I sip my opium tea
The house is clean. The laundry is well underway. The fridge is full of food. The weather is unbelievably perfect. I at least look like I’ve lost some more weight today but I’m not gonna get on the scale and find out for sure, I’m just going to assume that I did!!
And the cell phones seem to be up & running again!! (T-Mobile claims it was an “IP traffic-related” issue, but I’m sure we all know it was really another white anarchist domestic terrorist attack…)
But, regardless — it’s over! Today is officially perfect!
Okay.
I am going to try to make some significant progress on Letter #8 for Girl in the Night: Erotic Love Letters to the Muse. It has been such slow-going around here. But I’m feeling like today could be the day where a bunch more words are going to finally come out and land on the page!! We shall see!
One of the things I really like about this collection is that each “Letter” comes out so differently. And I honestly never know what to expect from them until they do come out. And, obviously, since these are memoirs, they are intensely personal, which can also be very illuminating (to me, I mean). And then each of the finished “products” (each letter) sets me apart from myself and I become an observer of my life for a few minutes.
It is a very cool process, even though it’s also almost stupidly personal at the same time.
And another thing I love is knowing that I’m self-publishing everything from now on. I don’t have to worry about whether publishers or booksellers are going to be uncomfortable with what I’m writing about.
You know, back in 1999, when Neptune & Surf came out, the largest bookstore chain in America, Barnes & Noble, refused to carry the book — the same book that the Guardian newspaper in England called one of their Top Ten picks for summer reading that year. If a person went into a Barnes & Noble here in the States and asked for it to be ordered for them personally, the store would do it, but they refused to carry my book in their stores because of the novella, “Gianni’s Girl”. It offended them beyond belief. Even though the publisher had made sure (for once) to put a beautiful, non-sex-related cover on the book — it still didn’t help.
(And Trump actually had nothing to do with that!! Can you imagine?? Life used to suck a lot, even back then!!)
Well, a lot has changed since 1999, still, it is so mentally liberating to just write now and not worry about how I’m going to pitch the thing to an editor somewhere.
The plays and the movie scripts are different. They’re sort of eternally evolving processes that are always collaborative, in a sense. A lot of input along the way from others in those projects . But my books are still just me, by myself, sitting at my (indescribably tiny) desk, writing.
All righty. Well, I need to get going here. Finish the laundry and then call my dad — with the phones out for so many hours yesterday, I was not able to call and check in with him. So I need to do that.
I hope you are having a terrific Tuesday, wherever you are in the world, and that maybe your weather is as perfect there as it is here today. Not too hot, but totally sunny and just so peaceful. (And I am still totally obsessing about getting some flower boxes in that barn window, gang, so I need to figure out what the heck I can do about that!) Meanwhile…
I leave you with a song I haven’t listened to in awhile, but it came up on Instagram this morning, so I leave you with that today — “Babe, I Got You Bad”, from Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds’ B-Sides & Rarities (2005). (I think I’ve posted it here before, but here it is again!!)
Okay, enjoy. And thanks for visiting, gang. I love you guys! See ya!
“Babe, I Got You Bad”
Babe I got you bad
Dreaming blood-wet dreams
only madmen have
Baby I got you bad
I wish to God I never had
And it makes me feel so sad,
O, Baby I got you bad
Yeah, Babe I got you bad
I long for your kiss,
for the turn of your mouth
Your body is a long thing
Heading South
And I don’t know what I’m talking about
All of my words have gone mad
Ah, baby I got you bad
Seasons have gone wrong
And I lay me down in a bed of snow
Darling, since you’ve been gone
well my hands, they don’t know where to go
And all of my teeth are bared,
I got you so much I’m scared
Ah, baby I got you bad
With the sweep of my hand
I undid all the plans
that explode at the moment I kissed you
on your small hot mouth
and your caramel limbs
that are hymns to the glory that is you.
Look at me darlin’ it’s sad sad sad
Look at me darlin’ it’s sad sad sad
Baby I got you bad
Smoke billowing from the bridges
and the rivers we swim in are boiling
My hands are reaching for you everywhere
but you’re not there, or you’re recoiling
and a weary moon dangles from a cloud
Oh honey, I know it’s not allowed
To say I got you bad.
I don’t know about you guys, but I’m having the hardest time trying to live through the morning over here.
I’m so done with the news. I guess we should just encourage everybody to go ahead and exercise their 2nd Amendment right to own firearms and protect themselves; this way we no longer have to worry about hair-trigger cops being called in to deal with “situations” anymore, and we can just all shoot one another.
Don’t have to worry anymore about race, creed, gender, religion, etc., etc., and cops.
That horrible American problem — solved. (We’re absolutely stellar at killing one another, though, so no problems there.)
And now there are all these weirdos out there (women, obviously) who want international legal regulations in place regarding AI sex robots, because the robots are getting too life-like and it’s disturbing the highly educated human women, and they’re worried that too many people (men) will get alienated from real live people (meaning, you know, people who shoot each other all over the place in this country…) As if it’s anyone’s business how alienated people want to become in the privacy of their own homes.
You know, I, for one, recall all sorts of intensely intense scenarios that me and my little girlfriends imposed on Barbie — with and without her fabulous clothes on — yet they never created laws about how we could treat her. It was never stark-raving-naked Barbie and all the things we subjected her to that upset & alienated me; it was those real-live fucking alienated men who raped me who actually upset me.
For godsakes, let them rape their sex dolls instead. Why the fuck do we need to make international laws about it? Nice as it is of those women to worry so much about random, nameless men, getting too much alone-time at home with their helpless dolls.
Also…
I loved how the various news outlets jumped so furiously on Fox News for allegedly portraying the Seattle autonomists (autonomous-ists?) as carrying guns… Later in the day, the Seattle autonomous-ists said, “well, yes, we do carry firearms — to protect ourselves from white supremacists…”
Christ, you know? I’m just done. No more fucking news without first imbibing heavily in drugs…(I’d say “booze,” but you know, booze puts on weight!! Much like this COVID 19 pandemic quarantine shit!)
So. I’m just done.
Unfortunately, I can’t take drugs and write worth a darn so I’m stuck being intensely 100% sober in every way. I’ve decided, instead, to put all sorts of barricades up between me and “the news.”
But on that auspicious note… I am making very good progress on Letter #8 — oddly enough, titled: “The Choice to Kill” — for Girl in the Night: Erotic Love Letters to the Muse. It’s going really well but it is also slow-going, only because I’m trying to capture so many complex things in a very few, tightly written pages. But I’m still happy with it.
(And, yes, I have completely developed a bona fide habit of having an unlit, filter-less cigarette in my mouth now whenever I’m sitting at my desk. I don’t think I’m ever gonna light it, but I have gone through that whole pack of Chesterfields that I bought several months ago, and now I’m halfway through a pack of Pall Malls.) (Because I’ve noticed that the filters snap off more easily from Pall Malls…) (Life in Crazeysburg these days…)
Oh! And I do indeed have a new barn door!! Yay!! However, that idea I had the other day, about putting some sort of flower box in the barn window? I’m having a lot of trouble finding planter-hardware that will fit the 8-inch width of the window ledge, without it being some sort of DIY, which I am not at all handy with. To say the least.
The widest planter- hardware I can find only fits a 6-inch window ledge. And I must say, though, that I sound quite interesting, saying, “No — I’ve got to have 8-inches!”
(More drugs, please.) (But it is super-cool that at my rapidly advancing age, people are still so ready to accept that a thing like size would still be at the forefront of my needs…)
All right. Jesus Christ. Here’s hoping that this day helps me reclaim some sort of sanity.
You know, not only is it Arbor Day here in America – thankfully, a holiday that honors trees, and that no race, religion, creed, or gender felt it necessary to appropriate from any other one — it is also the “anniversary” of my first suicide attempt. For some unknown reason, that date has always stayed with me — for 45 years now. So I’m going to try to look for and then tally all the reasons why I’m so darn glad that I lived long enough to see this glorious fucking day unfold before me, in all its splendor.
On that note, I’m going to get going around here, gang. Enjoy your Sunday. Please. And thanks for visiting. I leave you with more Bee Gees breakfast-listening music from this morning!! Another spot-on song from their Spirits Having Flown album (1979): “Love You Inside and Out” (lyrics in video). But I’m also leaving you once again with Nick Cave’s version of “Cosmic Dancer” because I popped onto Bad Seed TeeVee, as I am wont to do, and it was playing again. And this song is one of the few songs around my house right now that makes me feel like — somehow, someway — I’m gonna survive this fucking fucked-up thing I call my American life. Enjoy, gang. I love you so much, guys. See ya.
Marilyn's Room 