Tag Archives: The Muse Revisited Vol 1- 3 by Marilyn Jaye Lewis

It’s Good to Think & to Be Smart!

Yes, that is my gentle reminder to you that today is the final day of the Smashwords sale, wherein all of my eBooks that are published with them are FREE to download, in any and all eReader formats.

I’m guessing, though, that you’ve already done that. Still. It’s good to think and to be smart. LOOK at your desktop or at your eReader device! If my eBooks are not in there [Twilight of the Immortal; Freak Parade, and The Muse Revisited Volumes 1-3.], then you’ve forgotten to download them and must hurry and do that today. The final day.

Or at least until the month of July, wherein, Smashwords does it all over again…

However, this means that in those months between January and July, you will have to pay 3 and sometimes as much as 4 dollars to download each of these books. Yes – I said 3 or 4 dollars! It looks like this: $3 or $4. And we don’t want to go that route, do we? Because then, I personally – as the writer- would actually receive most of those dollars. And that could set a very dangerous precedent. I might expect you to start purchasing my newer books forever after that. So let’s just avoid all that potential unpleasantness and go download those books today.

All righty!

Well, unfortunately, the merriment of the holidays is over and I seriously have to get back to work around here.  Someone in LA, who shall remain nameless, had the nerve to email me on New Year’s Eve – albeit, on Pacific Time, so to her, it was not yet dangerously close to the actual moment of merriment. But still. I get an email late last night explaining when & where & how I need to begin the endless hours of Skyping with producers re: my pilot script.

I so don’t want to do this, people, and yet I so have to. It was stressful just looking at the email. Because it isn’t actually Skype – it’s “Skype-like” and so I have to download yet another app and learn how to use it and how to send my script, etc. And I have about 24 hours to figure it out. And I still have not revised my show bible.

I know. I said I was doing it. I also said I was going to stop texting the guy I’m in love with because he’s really busy now and I wanted to give him some space… However, even though I opened the show bible Word file every single day for the past several days, I would simply look at it and my brain would just sort of glaze over with inertia. I got nothing done.

And so now, someone is going to say, “Okay, let’s see what you did!”

ME: “Nothing. I did nothing.”

Not gonna go over well.

THEM: “We were under the impression you were serious about your script and really wanted our input here.”

ME: “I’m not sure what I was thinking when I said that.”

Anyway.

So I kinda gotta scurry around here and get things in shape.

And this also means I will go back to my non-holiday blogging schedule of posting once or twice a week, instead of every day.

Plus, I’ve decided to go back to writing in my journal more and stay offline whenever possible. I’m seriously trying to break my texting habit.  Frankly, I really wish I were addicted to smoking instead of texting. I could light up in the privacy of my own world and just sit & think & smoke, instead of dashing off yet another annoying: “Plus, I just wanted to be clear about…[fill in the blank about what on earth it is that I could possibly be more clear about].”

And with smoking, at least you get that awesome nicotine rush.

Okay, gang. Off I go! Enjoy your New Year’s Day festivities, wherever you are! Thanks for making a quick trip here part of your busy day. Sending you great big bunches of love! See ya!

And I also text…

Oh for heaven’s sake, people!

Okay, I’m just kidding. Nothing makes me happier than having readers download my books, whether or not they’re free.

But, seriously, this is getting insane. I have no clue where all these people are coming from. The numbers long surpassed the amount of followers I have on my blog.  And I only advertised the Smashwords sale on my blog. And only deranged lunatics would download the same eBooks over & over & over, ad infinitum.

And I like to think my followers are not deranged lunatics. It reflects better on me when they aren’t. My followers are all really cool, smart people!

Anyway, it just astounds me.  Where do they come from? And now people are starting to download Freak Parade like crazy. I have no clue why all of the sudden that happened.

And what’s funny is that almost no one downloads Twilight of the Immortal. It has erotic sex scenes in it, but it is certainly not graphic sex. And it is really well written fiction. But nobody wants it! They’d rather have, I don’t know, 5 pages of graphic fellatio or something. It’s just so funny.

I’ll tell you, though, sometimes I read over these old stories (from The Muse Revisited Series) and I am frequently flabbergasted.  The short story titled August on the Lake (in Vol.3) was written expressly for a French publisher and was immediately translated into French (as Aout sur le lac). I think the only English version of the story is in The Muse Revisited.

I was told that, in French, it was a really beautiful story. That it was literature and not the usual smut. (Thank you. I like to think that my entire life is beautiful literature and not the usual smut! Anyway.) I’d forgotten that it was written specifically for a French publisher and for an anthology about: Yes,  fellatio.  And as I re-read it, years after its publication, I was dumbfounded. Why would I go on & on about fellatio here? It was not a topic my work was ever really known for. It actually made me uncomfortable to re-read it. Like, What the hell was on my mind when I wrote this strange story that seems to be, in a lot of ways, about my second husband?

Eventually I figured it out. But really, I don’t remember any of my stories verbatim.  And if I happen to re-read one, it becomes brand new to me, and I’m reading it as any other reader would and oftentimes the stories are a little shocking. Yes, even to me. If a story wasn’t written  for a specified topic, then the stories almost always reflect something that’s going on in my mind, my world, my relationships, my life. (A reflection, not a memoir…) And sometimes it’s just too intense to revisit it.

“Awake in the Dream of Life” was only published once in print (although it’s included in the eBook, Dirty Filthy Lovely: Dark Erotica). A woman originally published it, even though she wasn’t really happy about it but she wanted me in her anthology of popular women writers so she published it – I guess in the category of: Popular Women Writers Who Are Out of Their Fucking Minds.

When I re-read the story several years ago, I was, like, Holy Moly. No wonder women were upset by this story. Men loved it, of course. Men into BDSM, I mean. One of my long-time publishers at the time read the piece and said it was the best thing I ever wrote but that he could never publish a story like that; he wouldn’t want to deal with the reader backlash.

At the time, I just could not understand why people were so upset. But I was in such a bad place and had no clue my mental state had sunk into that. Happily, though, it is now documented for all time! Because I’m a writer and I write stuff and out it goes — into the world!

I’m not even really kidding, you know? It’s one of the reasons I don’t actively seek “followers” on any of my social media accounts. If you want to be following me, thank you. That’s great. It is. But you have to actually want to be here of your own volition because only God knows what I am going to wind up putting into your world.

It was one of the reasons I was actively seeking obscurity. I had no control over the amount of people coming into my world by way of my writing. In the old days, I had thousands and thousands of people reading my blog every day. And those weren’t “followers” because there was no such thing back then. They were actual readers, every day. And nothing I could think or do or say was private anymore. Including, naturally, my family.

MOTHER: “Are you really that much of a drunk??!! Is that all you do is sit around and drink booze??!!”

ME: “Um, no, I was just being funny on the blog.”

COLLEAGUE IN SOME FOREIGN COUNTRY: “Is that what you really think about my writing??!!”

ME: “Um, no, I was just being funny on the blog.”

FATHER: “Is that what you really think about the President of the United States??!!”

ME: “Um, yes, that’s what I really think about the President of the United States.”

And for that comment, I was promptly disowned, disinherited, cast off, forgotten by my adoptive father. Seriously. Blogs can be a real pain, and sometimes damaging to me, when people are actually reading them.

But my attempts to live here in Crazyland in obscurity have come to naught.  I mean, I don’t want my career to be obscure. I just wanted my private life to be obscure within the town I am living. But it just doesn’t work if you have a blog that people read. Obscurity is an impossibility.

The other day, when I said that Kara was my only friend out here in the Hinterlands, someone wrote to me, personally, and reminded me that she was my friend, too. Oh gosh.  Of course you are. I’m so sorry if I hurt your feelings. I had no idea you were reading my blog…

And then also the other day, my niece, who doesn’t live too awfully far from Crazyland, sent me a link to an essay she wrote. She wants to be a writer, like me. It was a good piece of writing, but it was all about how she struggles with depression.

And I was, like: No, no, no! This is not acceptable. You were born to have a life that was better than mine.

When my niece was born, it was at a time in my life and in my marriage when I was coming to grips with the fact that I was going to remain childless. I was so excited for my brother when his daughter was born. And I was excited for me, too. A little girl, connected to me, who gets to have a much, much better life than mine was. A life not full of the garbage I had to deal with. And yet, all these years later, she’s dealing with depression. And here I blog about my crippling depressions and I guess I make it seem somehow okay.

But it’s not. It’s not an acceptable way to live. Her life is supposed to be better than mine.

Well, how is she supposed to know that, I had to ask myself; if you ignored her for most of her life?

Because I had a falling out with my brother – but the outcome for my niece was still the same. I was gone from her life from the time she was 4.

Choosing obscurity, choosing to isolate – I see now that it isn’t really very fair to other people, because they still exist. I know I still have to find a balance between the people who are toxic to me and the people who aren’t; and how to protect my private life but still be a public writer. But I’ve got to deal with it.

That balance is tricky for me, but I’m learning. When I consulted that reader in London a couple weeks ago, as a Christmas present for myself, I knew I was having some very serious problems with my mind. I needed help finding my balance; to feel grounded again, to get clarity.  How to show up in the world as myself, and not to detach and dissociate.

The reader in London was so helpful to me. He really was. He told me what I needed to work on, 3 times a day for twenty minutes each time. And he said, “Stick with it, and in 3 days things will begin to turn around. And if you stay with it for a month, you will be amazed by the difference in your life.”

Well, he was certainly correct.  Everything is changing, sort of at warp speed. And I think this indescribable frenzy of eBook downloads is part of the river of change. That flow. Suddenly, more and more people are also following the blog, and all my other social media accounts. People are just suddenly showing up, you know? Including my niece. And yesterday, even Mob Guy #2 returned very suddenly and said, “Please, Marilyn. Come on.  I’m still waiting for you to come back to me.”

What the heck??!! Where did you come from all of the sudden??!! (My answer was still no, but it was nice to be so suddenly thought of, so intensely.)

I mean, it’s certainly not bad stuff, but it is a lot of stuff. And I have to step up and be accountable for all of it, even the stuff that I totally fucked-up and can’t repair, because I’m not obscure. I do exist in the world. So. It has been very, very interesting. To say the least.

Okay, you guys have a wonderful weekend. Thanks for visiting Crazyland!! I’m always happy to see your bright, shining faces. I love you guys! Take care and see ya.

PS: I don’t actually live in Crazyland. It’s a play on words – on the name of the actual town I live in, which was founded by  a Mr. Samuel Frazey in 1828.

Like White on Rice, Gang!

The downloads of free eBooks are happening so fast and furiously that I have to wade through a literal ton of ping! alerts just to get to my actual email.

And 99% of those downloads are still for The Muse Revisited Volumes 1 through 3. The downloads are now far surpassing Christmas Day, which, until the days after Christmas, was my busiest download day in 10 years.

I’m not complaining, I just don’t really understand it.  The stories are really old. And yet it’s like a feeding frenzy.

And then – also on the day after Christmas – my year-end royalty check came from a publisher who’s been selling eBook editions of my 3 erotic romance novels for 10 years now (originally published in print by Barnes & Noble way back in 2004). And this same publisher also publishes a collection of my dark erotica, Dirty Filthy Lovely. Again, a collection of stories written a long time ago, and published in numerous print markets before being put out to pasture as an eBook.

Really old stories. I mean, really old. And I’m still getting checks. Or whiplash, in the case of this current download frenzy on Smashwords that keeps sending these ping! alerts to my iPhone, which only send my head spinning to my iPhone screen in breathless hopes that the guy I insulted beyond belief has suddenly realized he likes vitriolic vipers who are out of their fucking minds and so is finally texting me again — but au contraire!

Don’t mind us, says the iPhone screen. We just wanted a little more of your porn.

AAAaaarrrrghhhh.

I also got a really lovely Christmas card from Little Brown & Company in the UK. A huge publisher.  Known hugely for publishing incredible literature.

Why am I getting this lovely Christmas greeting from such an awesome publisher, I wondered blankly. Upon investigation, I discovered, Oh! Because they’re my publisher!

They’re the ones who publish Neptune & Surf . I didn’t know that! They bought the rights from somebody who bought the rights when Hachette took over the world.

Yes, another really old pornographic book that is still in print. And in just a handful of days, guys, that book will have been in print continuously, without interruption, for 20 years!!!!!

I sometimes even get letters in the mail from Virgin Publishing in the UK – forwarded to me from my ex-husband in NYC who still lives in our incredibly beautiful apartment on the Upper West Side but I am not bitter, gang. Not in the slightest… it does not bother me one bit that I lost everything I had in the world.  Except for my guitar. But I see these letters and I think, Hmm. Why is Virgin Publishing writing to me? And it’s, you know, because they own the rights to a German translation of a filthy dirty story I wrote a million years ago that now German people cannot get enough of.

Jesus.

You know, I bring this up because in the month of January, I have to spend a whole heck of a lot of time on Skype – several hours a week, for the entire month – working with some producers in LA to make sure I’m presenting my CLEVELAND TV pilot script in the best possible way. The production company that has already optioned the pilot has “strongly suggested” I do this. So I’m doing it. On Pacific Coast time. Which means, during my nighttime hours, when I’m already brain dead, I have to have these Skype conferences to nitpick my pilot script. All because I am an unproven writer in a new market. So even while everyone loves this TV pilot and its premise, especially this new revised version (because – yes! It now has sex in it!), no one will put money into it until I can get someone with a track record to attach to it.

I don’t even want to be a TV writer. I don’t. I just want the “created by” credit here. I want this particular show to be out in the world because I get the distinct impression the characters are going to matter to people.

ME: So. You like the writing. Everyone agrees it’s a good idea. But as a writer here, I’m “unproven.”

Hmm. Something’s really weird here. I can’t quite put my finger on it. “Unproven.” I see. Meanwhile the pings! continue…

All righty. I gotta get crackin’ here. Within these last few days of December, I have to re-write the show bible to match the revised version of the TV pilot script. So, onward!

Thanks for visiting, gang. Have a really blessed day. I love you guys!!

In honor of the Solstice, I guess

I woke-up happy today. Really happy. Probably for the first time in several weeks.

As the year winds down, I’ve updated the site. I draw your attention to the right side of the screen there (if you’re on a cell phone, this occurs all the way at the bottom of the post).

This is yet another demo from my early singer-songwriting days in Hell’s Kitchen, NYC. Early 1980s.  I always loved this song.

This demo, “Click Click Click,”  from early 1984, was recorded first on the 4-track in my bedroom, and then taken to the 8-track in my boyfriend’s bedroom, where he added drum machines and some sort of synthesizer keyboard tracks.

When this song finally got produced in 1986 by a Grammy-winning producer  who will remain forever nameless, he made it into a power rock ballad, a la Joan Jett. This could not have been a worse choice, since I can’t carry off anything whatsoever Joan-Jett-like onstage. The only Joan-Jett-ish thing I can do, actually, is listen with great joy to “Bad Reputation” and “I Hate Myself For Loving You” over & over & over.

Anyway. In my head – and hopefully on the new recordings – I hear more live percussionists than you can possibly imagine. Perhaps a stadium full! We shall see, gang.

I also updated the excerpt from The Muse Revisited. This one is from Volume 1, and is a short story entitled Muriel the Magnificent.

This is the very same story I got into hot water with over at Amazon when I first published Volume 1 of The Muse Revisited  in 2010 and they insisted I delete the whole section about Muriel getting spanked by her father when she was 7 years old.

This pissed me off enormously for 2 reasons: 1.) It was a great piece of NON-EROTIC writing that sets up the whole rest of the story (!!); and 2.) Amazon was already selling it in traditional book form and had been selling it for about 10 years!!!!! Suddenly, they were refusing to allow me to publish it without deleting that passage.

And, yes, dear readers, I finally caved. I censored my own writing to please the behemoth Amazon.

So if you bought Volume 1 of The Muse Revisited as a Kindle eBook, this particular story has been edited to remove anything whatsoever that could possibly be construed as questionable between Muriel and her dad when she is 7 years old. Even though the entire rest of the story is indeed pornographic…

Every other edition of this story, including over at Smashwords, was published in its original version.

The story was written in 2000 expressly for The New English Library Book of Internet Stories; Published by Hodder and Stoughton UK

Reprinted in Best New Erotica 2001, Published by Constable & Robinson UK

And again, I want to take this moment to thank every single reader, editor, and publisher in the UK over the years and currently, as well as, and in particular, the Guardian newspaper over there. You put my work on the map, gang. And have kept it there since 1999. Thanks.

In the unlikely event that you haven’t guessed it by now: This story contains sexually explicit material that will not be suitable for all readers.

On that note, enjoy a wonderful Solstice, folks.  The video below , which helped brighten my outlook on life enormously when I was about 21, should also  help enormously in the Solstice celebrations today!

Okay. Thanks for visiting. You mean more to me than words can say! Take care, gang, and see ya!

 

 

Listen up, you cats & kittens!

UPDATE: There were some formatting errors in The Muse Revisited Volume II: Erotic Novellas & Longer Works, specifically in Necessary to her Good and A Picture in a Frame. If you are having trouble downloading this volume, please try again later today.

 For anyone who already downloaded this title and wants the corrected version, this title will remain free for one more week.

This is it, gang. The final countdown. You have until midnight tonight, Pacific Time, to download any/all of my eBooks that are published on Smashwords — for FREE.

After that, you will have to cough up at least three — and often as much as FOUR — whole dollars to download those same eBooks! (Or, of course, wait until the Winter Sale, where everything becomes free again…) (Its no wonder I never make any money, is it??)

However, that said… I really appreciate that so many of you have taken the time to download my books.  Here, again, are the direct links. And, as always, here is my Extreme Cautionary Warning to those readers who have only known me as an (award-winning!!) script writer:

Freak Parade and The Muse Revisited Volumes 1-3 are exceptionally explicit (award-winning!) literary erotica, often with bisexual BDSM themes and with overtones of what is now termed  “questionable consent”. These titles are not aimed at the average reader and could be considered upsetting or extremely offensive.

However, Twilight of the Immortal is historical fiction, not literary erotica.

If you’d like to know more about any of these titles before downloading, use the drop down menu on the  upper right of this page, under “About Marilyn Jaye Lewis”.

Here are the links to my titles on Smashwords:

Okay, thanks for visiting! See ya!

 

The clock is ticking!!

There are only 12 days left to download for FREE all of my eBook titles that are published on Smashwords!

A ton of you (well, hundreds) have already taken full advantage of this opportunity in the last 20 days! There are only 12 days left to get over there and download for free.

If you’re new to the blog, or to my earlier career, Freak Parade and The Muse Revisited Volumes 1-3 are exceptionally explicit (award-winning!) literary erotica, often with bisexual BDSM themes and with overtones of what is now termed  “questionable consent”. These titles are not aimed at the average reader and could be considered upsetting or offensive.

However, Twilight of the Immortal is historical fiction, not literary erotica.

Here are the links to my titles on Smashwords:

Okay, thanks for visiting! Have a  wonderful weekend, wherever it takes you. See ya!

 

 

Smashwords Summer eBook Sale Begins Today

As promised!

All my titles published on Smashwords, in all eReader formats, are entirely free to download for the month of July.

Here are the links to my titles on Smashwords:

Enjoy, gang! Have a terrific Sunday, wherever you are in the world! Thanks for visiting. See ya.