Tag Archives: Down to the Meadows of Sleep: The Hurley Falls Mystery Marilyn Jaye Lewis

Indeed. Curiouser and Curiouser

Hmmmm.

So Prince Philip has died “peacefully in his sleep” while at “Windsor Palace.” Enough said.

And the fake B * den continues to unravel in public, setting the scene for his Amend 25 take-down.

I would not be at all surprised if, at this point, they announce that the fake Queen of Eng l and will be our new fake pres i dent.

I don’t have much to report about my own life today. I did spend an hour on the phone with my ex in Seattle last evening, as we tried to wrap our minds around the idea that today is our 40th wedding anniversary… or would be, had we stayed married.

It was a fun chat. And most of it we spent going over the various reasons why we refuse to get vaxed. And then all the foods we should eat everyday in order to stay healthy and mentally vibrant right up until the very moment that we die anyway!

It’s funny. I absolutely cannot believe that he will be 65 in 2 months. I know where the time went — I’m very well aware of every moment of the last 40 years. I simply can’t believe we’ve made it this far.

Well, a local repairman came by yesterday and fixed all the wind damage that was done to the various soffits along my roof. He did such a great job. (The other guy, who was supposed to come 2 weeks ago, never showed up and then never answered his phone again… Oddly, that happens a lot around here.) I am so happy. The house finally looks pretty good again.

And while he was out there working, I managed to get a lot of cleaning done downstairs. So it wasn’t how I had panned for my day to go (I was planning to write at my desk all day), but it was still a really productive day.

Oh, and I had a really nice chat with a writer in England yesterday, too. We’ve texted over the past year, but this was the first time I ever heard his voice. That great British accent. So cool.

Human beings in my life again!! Yay!!

And today is going to be another gorgeous day here, gang. I hope it’s the same wherever you are in the world.

Okay.

Nick Cave sent out a Red Hand File yesterday that was really cool. About a little boat-rowing escapade, 30 years ago, and Warren Ellis reciting a poem… You can read about it here.

All righty. The sunny day beckons!! Thanks for visiting, gang. Have a really nice Friday, wherever it takes you (and try not to wear your mask, wherever it is you’re going to…) I love you guys. See ya!

********************************************

Below: Ni cho las V en ia min and Alan Foun t ain discuss [17] and military intel (20 mins):

Below: C* vid girl going absolutely bonkers. (Oddly, the video is more viral than C*vid ever was.) Turn off your TVs, gang! Start thinking again!! (6 mins):

Below: Do Not Miss This! As suspected, this is what the PCR test is putting up your nose. Multiply those little nano bots times a million, and call it the va cc ine. (6 mins):

Below: R * d P * l l 78 News (26 mins):

Below: P * trio t str eet f ighter, More great intel on s u e z c a n al and d**p st * te (55 mins):

Below: A few days old but really interesting. Sean St o ne interviews author and therapist Dr. Colin Ross (52 mins):

Below: X * 2 R * port Awesome again! (46 mins):

40 Years Ago….

Tomorrow marks 40 years since my first marriage.

My ex and I are still very close, even though we went for the entirety of my second marriage without being in touch.  And when he did suddenly get back in touch with me, about 5 years ago, it was as if no time had passed whatsoever. We are in touch now several times a day (online). And the very weird thing is that he is now in his mid-60s, while I am now 12. (I was 20 when we got married  — in NYC, at City Hall — and he was 25.)

This is the apartment building we lived in back then. It still looks exactly the same, except that there used to be a Japanese restaurant on the ground floor.

The Camelot Apartments - New York, NY | Apartments.com

Life is just funny, isn’t it? 

Truthfully, he is an amazing man and always was. We just get along lots better when we aren’t married.  (We were married for 9 years.) But he helped me get through a couple of really difficult years in my life (when I first moved to NYC from Ohio), and he was very, very supportive of me when I became a professional singer-songwriter there, in late 1981. I don’t know that I would have found the courage to do that if he hadn’t been so encouraging of me. Plus, he eventually helped me get off drugs and quit drinking so much.

Okay.

As always, nowadays, there are two very distinct streams of life going on out there in the world.  Those who seem to be drinking the Kool-Aid with a vengeance and sort of barreling toward their own early demise; and those who are participating in the Great Awakening and finding more and more and more reasons to be joyful and joyfully astounded, everyday.

I will give you a brief “for instance.” 

On Instagram the other day, I posted a photo I took from on top of a local ancient burial mound (where I eat my lunch everyday) and said something about the giants/Anunnaki and the ancient Hebrew  stone tablets they were buried with 2000 years ago, etc. And a very very long-time friend of mine who still lives in NYC, who was originally from Ohio, basically told me that I was bat shit crazy and that he tried to g ** gle stuff about all that and found nothing.

Well, for heaven’s sakes.  I wrote back and told him: first:) get off g ** gle.

Then I got on duckduckgo, entered “Anunnaki and Ohio” and in a nano second, more links than I could shake a stick at immediately popped up. So I sent him the first link from a video about it on YouTube and told him, quite enthusiastically, to go check it out!!

So, like — right?? Either you’re sleeping or you’re not. And you can call me bat shit crazy all you want, but I’m the one over here in my wide-open, m*sk-less, vax-less Hinterlands, having a beautiful life and enjoying my beautiful mind, and having  wonderful lunches high atop those sacred burial mounds, wondering about who they really were back then and who these many ETs are today.

For whatever reason, I love the Anunnaki, gang. And I am one of those people who believe that there was a benevolent branch of them (and that maybe there still is).  And that chances are they were the Nephilim, right? Probably they were. Obviously, I don’t know for sure.  But it sure is interesting that the 2000-year-old skeletons of giants were unearthed around here and that they had stone tablets buried with them, with the 10 Commandments carved on them in ancient Hebrew…

In fact, visit this museum in Coshocton, Ohio, and see those Holy Stones:

Visit Coshocton

Or read this:

The Ancient Giants Who Ruled America: The Missing Skeletons and the Great  Smithsonian Cover-Up: Dewhurst, Richard J.: 9781591431718: Amazon.com: Books

If I’m bat shit crazy, well, a whole lot of other people are, too. I’m okay with that. At least my mind is going places and I’m writing a new novel.

Well, on a sad note, some of those Canadians are officially off the charts insane.  They closed that church again, where the pastor was calling the police Nazi Gestapo because they were  invading the church while it was having an Easter service and no one was wearing (the utterly useless) m*sks.

Everyone, locally, seems to be in enthusiastic support of the church being shut down. Clearly, an entire town is drinking Kool-Aid. They’re probably also staying safe and getting vaxed… I guess we’ll find out, a year or two from now.

The [17] podcasters that I follow have all seem to come to the same conclusion that I recently did; we’ve got to allow people to be free to choose. If people are unwilling to do the research, and choose to get the m R N A’s, then it is their choice and there’s not much more we can do. It’s going to be sad, though, if people you are close to, or people in your family, begin to fall victim to the predicted health concerns during the next flu and cold season. 

Still, it is vital that we support their freedom to choose because it underscores our freedom to choose something different.

If you haven’t read it already, and have the stomach for it, you can search for a PDF called Scenarios for  the Future of Technology and International Development, by the Rock e  f e  ll er F ou nd at ion, 2010. It’s horrific, but their plan is in full play right now, all over the world, because the Rock e  f e  ll er F ou nd at ion was counting on most people, the world over, to be just plain stupid.

Well. all right. I’m gonna finish the laundry and get to work on my new novel. Have a really great day, wherever you are! Thanks for visiting, gang. I leave you with this awesome song, in honor of my anniversary tomorrow, even though the song is really sad and perhaps not entirely appropriate to my own marriage! But what a great song. Another one from the 1997 album, The Boatman’s Call, by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds. Enjoy, gang!! I love you guys. See ya!

People Ain’t No Good

People just ain’t no good
I think that’s well understood
You can see it everywhere you look
People just ain’t no good

We were married under cherry trees
Under blossom we made our vows
All the blossoms come sailing down
Through the streets and through the playgrounds

The sun would stream on the sheets
Awoken by the morning bird
We’d buy the Sunday newspapers
Never read a single word

People, they ain’t no good
People, they ain’t no good
People, they ain’t no good at all

Seasons came, seasons went
The winter stripped the blossoms bare
A different tree now lines the streets
Shaking its fists in the air

The winter slammed us like a fist
The windows rattling in the gales
To which she drew the curtains
Made out of her wedding veils

People, they ain’t no good
People, they ain’t no good
People, they ain’t no good at all

To our love, send a dozen white lilies
To our love, send a coffin of wood
To our love, let all the pink-eyed pigeons coo
That people, they just ain’t no good

To our love, send back all the letters
To our love, a valentine of blood
To our love, let all the jilted lovers cry
That people, they just ain’t no good

It ain’t that in their hearts they’re bad
They can comfort you, some even try
They nurse you when you’re ill of health
They bury you when you go and die

It ain’t that in their hearts they’re bad
They’d stick by you if they could
But that’s just bullshit baby
People just ain’t no good

People, they ain’t no good
People, they ain’t no good
People, they ain’t no good at all

© 1997 Nick Cave

****************************************

Below: Ch * r lie W * rd Q & A from Ireland with M ar tin  (26 mins):

Below: ni ch o las V en iam min and Jason [17] Update: ( 58 mins):

Below: Wil P a r a normal: Hitler did the same thing with the yellow star. PLEASE LISTEN. (16 mins):

Below: P * trio t str ee t fighter and Bishop L arry G aiters, off the charts (2 hrs 19 mins):

Below: X * 2 R * Port Financial (17 mins):

Below: X * 2 R * port (46 mins):

Another Great Day in the Hinterlands!!

Can you feel the energy shift in your part of the world, gang??

All over the place, pockets of people are gathering — and not wearing masks.  State Governors are declaring v a x passports unconstitutional.  That vaxes are choices.  That enough is enough.

Everywhere, all over the world, people are taking (mostly) peacefully to the streets.

More and more intel indicating that Tr ***p will likely be back for the 4th of July. (And also, that he never actually left…)

There are some great podcasts posted below today, too. Try to listen to them if you have time, gang. P *  trio t str eet fighter had great intel re: S u e z C ana l on his tipping point radio show Monday night.  He has also begun a Tuesday night special class on the U S  C on stit u tion, in case you are of the younger generations who were not taught about it in school.

Learn the Con st it tuion and KNOW YOUR RIGHTS!

N i ch olas Ven i a min had a great chat with a Pharma insider  (also below) that was very insightful re: all aspects of c * vid and the vaxes. But he also warns (as are other podcasters,  warning about SPARS) that a stronger strain of cor ona vir  us will be coming at the end of this year, and that this is where those folks who are getting vaxed  now (assuming they live through that) are going to get serious medical complications caused by the m R N As.  This will be where the depopulation aspect of the experimental vaxes will likely start kicking in.

(However, according to gene d e c ode, there are things you can do to remove the vax from your system, involving borax and activated charcoal. You have to search for it on duckduckgo.)

And people who did not get the vax need to maintain their immunity protocols:

    • High doses of Vitamin C
    • High doses of Vitamin D3
    • Zinc + Magnesium
    • Quercetin

In addition to the above, I personally add elderberry, echinacea, raw local honey, and organic apple cider vinegar (with the mother).

And FYI: stock up on elderberry now (!!), because there is going to be a worldwide shortage of elderberry next season (due to a crop shortage that already happened this year).  It’s going to be hard to get elderberry in the Fall and will also be expensive.

So by Fall, gang, you need to make sure you’re maintaining an immunity-boosting routine, every day.  (And also some sort of prayer/meditation/visualization routine, every day — starting right now.) (And don’t forget to add things to your diet that help decalcify the pineal gland, and also detox from heavy metals!!) (Yes, my life is truly that insane, gang. But this is war. Seriously.)

Okay!

We have 10 of our 21 windows open here in the house and the birds are signing (also singing!!) like crazy outside and the cats couldn’t be happier. It’s going to get cooler again at the end of the week, but for right now, we’re remembering what summer is like and we’re getting excited!

I’m hoping against hope that I’ll have enough money to buy my flowers and plant them in May, and also be able to pay my lawncare guy all summer.  I hope that wherever you are in the world and whatever season it is in your hemisphere, that you are finding reasons to rejoice on the Earth today.

Okay. Check out the podcasts below, gang. They were really informative and inspiring. I leave you with the song “Carnage” again, from the great new album Carnage (2021) by Nick Cave & Warren Ellis!! Enjoy!! Have a great Wednesday, and thanks for visiting!! I love you guys. See ya.

*******************************************

Below: Ni ch o las  Ve nia min chats with Ph ar ma Exec. VERY INFORMATIVE!  (1 hr):

Below: P *  trio t str eet fighter. First hour has great intel re: all aspects of the S u e z C ana l — do not miss!!; then U S C on sti tu tion (2 hrs):

Below: P o d e st a arrest and Tr **p back for 4th of July (28 mins):

Below: R * d P * l l 78 News (will the truth about fake  c i a – g e or g e fl o yd  case finally come out? Can you say “fentanyl overdose” gang??!!) (25 mins):

Below: X * 2 R * port: This was awesome! Listen and SHARE!!  (48 mins):

Good Morning, Crazeysburg!!

Another glorious day awaits us here in the Hinterlands!

Okay.  So what’s up?

Apparently, we are getting closer and closer to unveiling the scenario of taking the fake  B*den out and putting our beloved fake k a m al a (she of nonstop mirth and merriment) in as the new fake p r e s id ent of the bankrupt U S  corporation (once known as the Un i ted S tates).

Meanwhile, below ground, on s o ci al me d ia, Dan S c * v ino is pushing out the comms at a rapid pace. All but saying that Tr ***p is still in charge and due to return at, like, any moment. Of course, just how soon, waits to be seen. (But how come, every single time we see any news footage of Tr **p, his allies, his admin, his family — all of them are smiling and couldn’t seem happier or more at peace? I want whatever they’re drinking, okay??)

And the vax news, or course, couldn’t be worse.  A very informative 20-minute video is below, explaining in detail what the vaxes do once inside the human body. Not pretty, gang. But share it with anyone you know who might be sitting on the fence about getting the vax.  Sadly, it is seeming — more and more everyday — that anyone getting onboard with the vax is too brainwashed now by O p er a tion  M ock ing bird to see reason, or to be persuaded against getting it. So I’m guessing we simply have to let those folks go as the casualties of war. But if anyone  at all that you know  seems still in doubt, be sure to let them know how serious, and irreversible, these dangers  to the human body are. These simply are not va  c c in es.  This time next year, there’s a very real chance that many will have died from the simple common cold, and the remaining ones will become hybrid A.I./humans, no longer in control of their own bodies and easily tracked by 5G.

Science fiction couldn’t be scarier than these vaxes, folks. Especially the Mo deRNA.  The f a u ci – g a t es attempt at de pop ula  tion and world domination.

Also, the new news is that not only is your life insurance null and void if you die from any complications from the experimental vax, but your health insurance won’t be liable to cover your medical expenses anymore.  Because you are willingly participating in an experiment.  The research, side effects, potential harm is all available to you. If you still choose to participate in the experiment, you are then on your own.

Good luck with that.

Okay. It’s official: my plate is really full once again. I have narrowed it down to 2 projects for now. Completing the erotic short story, “Novitiate,” and then sending off The Muse Revisited Vol. 4 to the new publisher. And working on the first section of Down to the Meadows of Sleep (the first 50-60 pages), writing up an outline for the novel/series, and sending that off to the other publisher.

Even though I can’t imagine finding enough time to do any of that, and also keep up with the [17] podcasters every day/night, and go to the job at the health food store, and workout, and get the news down here on the blog each morning; I’m still really happy to have some deadlines. It keeps me focused.

All right, I’m gonna scoot. Have a terrific Tuesday, wherever you are in the world! I leave you with my breakfast-listening music from this morning: “Lime Tree Arbor,” by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds, from their phenomenal album, The Boatman’s Call (1997). Enjoy. And thanks for visiting, gang! I love you guys. See ya!

******************************************************

Below: Ch * r lie W * rd and Mel K weekly chat (34 mins):

Below: What they don’t tell you about the va cc ines ( starts at the 3 minute mark) (20 mins):

Below: R * d P * ll 7 8 News: Obstruction of Forensic Vote Audit (16 mins):

Below: X * 2 R * port (42 mins):

He Rose and Everything Turned Out Great!!

Happy Easter Monday, gang!

I hope you had a great day yesterday, whether or not you honor Easter. In its strictest sense, it celebrates rebirth, which is something we can all feel joyful about.

The weather here was stunning yesterday and it promises to be the same today and tomorrow. So I guess Spring is really moving in now. I hope that you’re feeling the shift into Hope wherever you are in the world.

There was not a ton of news yesterday, since it was Easter. I have a few videos below that are of interest.

One thing I keep forgetting to do, though, is to post the documentary: The Fall of the Cabal, by Janet Ossebard. It is from 2020, but if you haven’t seen it yet, you must! (She is hard at work on the the follow up documentary.)

It is 3 hours long but it moves at quite a clip. It is so well done that you can barely catch your breath and then it’s over. (And it has a very uplifting endling, so stick with it.) This will give you a solid background in [17], and in the R  o t sch ilds, the Ro cke fellers, the Dutch and British monarchies and their connections to N a z is, and their roles in the current horrible situation that has unfolded across the world. Also the S a t a nic ritual abuse and mu rd  er of chi ld  ren.  Also the Ca b a l’s connection to some very high profile deaths that were allegedly suicides — famous hangings from doorknobs. (i.e. L’wren Scott  was connected to a R o tsch ild, so her death might not have anything whatsoever to do with Mick Jagger’s infidelities.)

Anyway. Make time to watch it. And pay close attention to what she says about J f k J r.

Okay, I got some great work done on The Hurley Falls Mysteries Down to the Meadows of Sleep. I’m very happy with it. And the same publisher also pitched me the idea yesterday of following up my erotic romance novels from 20 years ago with some new installments. So I’m guessing I’m gonna be super busy, folks!!

I couldn’t be happier.

Meanwhile. It looks like dangerous insanity continues to reign in places like the U K and Spain (new m* sk mandate in Spain requires m* sks at the beach and while swimming in the ocean. In what universe can this possibly make any sense? This is strictly about control.) So whether you pray traditionally, or if you visualize, or meditate, people all over Europe and in Israel need our highest vibrations now, gang.

Okay. I’m gonna scoot. Have a terrific Monday, wherever you are in the world. Keep your thoughts in your place of empowerment. We will rise above this together, better than before! Thanks for visiting. I love you guys. See ya!

********************************

Below: Dave N * no Rod riguez: The Dam is Breaking: (9 mins):

Below: Michael J * co Update: Weapons of mass destruction and dead chil d r en on ” ever given” in S u e z c a nal (41 mins):

Below: This went viral. A priest in Canada tells the gestapo Nazi cops to get out (3 mins):

Below: Ni ch olas Ven ia min talks with RDS about the upcoming p* trio t tour to take back America (41 mins):

Below: X * 2 R * port (46 mins):

What Could Be More Exciting?!

Yes! I’m doing laundry! Lots of it!

I’m hoping that if I can focus on something besides every single solitary thought that’s in my head, it will help me get better. We’ll see.

I know I don’t have pneumonia, because I feel absolutely perfectly fine except for this inability to breathe normally. If I lie perfectly still in bed, I breathe normally. And in fact, I sleep great. I’m feeling absolutely fine. But as soon as I get out of bed and start moving around, the out-of-breath thing starts in again and I am just so fucking tired of it. This is Day 17 already.

Anyway.

I’m still loving Vienna Blood (PBS) but I am already halfway through the final episode. I hope they are going to plan on making a Season 2.  The writing is a tiny bit uneven, because I feel like they’re trying to cram too much plot from the novels into a 45-minute episode, which means suddenly a chunk of dialogue will happen that is purely exposition and it kind of sticks out from the rest of the story. But it’s negligible, and if you aren’t a writer, you might not even notice it at all. It does make me want to read the novels, though.  (Vienna Blood is based on the Max Lieberman novels by Frank Tallis.)

And actually on a similar note… I am seriously considering just starting my own small press again. I mentioned this in a post a few days ago.  But now I’m actually really thinking about it. First, just to put into Print on Demand my own titles, and then maybe consider publishing other writers who are super fringe. I have to really think about it, though, because it would mean looking into actual distribution and marketing if I published other writers, too. And I’m already — virus notwithstanding — a tad bit busy.

I’ve been wanting to get Twilight of the Immortal back into print with an updated cover, instead of just having it as an eBook. And then publish Blessed by Light, In the Shadow of Narcissa, Girl in the Night: Erotic Love Letters to the Muse, Thug Luckless: Welcome to P-Town, Down to the Meadows of Sleep: The Hurley Falls Mystery, and  maybe do Print on Demand editions of The Muse Revisited collection, and finally clean up all the typos in those specific eBook collections.

Part of the allure of it is knowing that I don’t have to worry about the content and how it would fit into someone else’s marketing agenda. I can make it as hardcore as I want (without going off into those areas where I’m looking at prison time again, of course…) The main problem with most of my work has always been that it’s both too literary and too erotic.  And now it needs to be one or the other to appease most small presses these days.  (Plus, I’ve gotten just ridiculously tired of waiting to hear back from other small presses who simply just never get back to you.)

So I’m really considering it. The investment is in the cover design, but other than that, the cost to produce each book is negligible. Between my popularity among international book piraters and the state of small presses now, I don’t know that it even makes financial sense to give up a portion of my rights to small presses anymore. Better to give a cut to the actual printer (what’s left after hemorrhaging potential profits to book pirating, I mean) and then just try to arrange readings when I’m off hither and yon doing the various film & theater projects.

Which reminds me that the other play I’m doing with Sandra (with the fluctuating title) that’s being produced in Toronto, has been pushed from this Fall off to the misty glades of 2021. So I’m guessing it will premiere on June 3rd, when I’ll be with my new friends in Switzerland to see Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds…

(As usual, I sure hope I’m kidding about that.)

Okay. Well. It is going to be a really gorgeous day here today. It was pretty yesterday, but it was cold. Today, it is going to be super sunny and really mild. I can probably open some windows around here, which always makes me so happy!!

And I am hoping to spend less time in bed today. I really am. I so want to be past this virus and start writing again. We shall see.

I hope you guys are all in a good space on this wonderful Monday in Pandemic Land.  I’m gonna go finish up the laundry now, check in with my dad, get another cup of coffee. Thanks for visiting, gang! I leave you with some very fun Ringo Starr music from I don’t even remember when — the 1970s? “The No No Song,” which of course, I can attest to now, but when it was an actual hit, I was quite far from it… (if you don’t know what the heck I’m talking about, you gotta listen to the song! The lyrics are in the video, gang!) Okay. Enjoy!! I love you guys. See ya!

Before I Say Goodnight…

Interesting day here, gang.

I did take a look at the manuscript for the novel-in-progress, Down to the Meadows of Sleep: The Hurley Falls Mystery, and I really liked it! So I’m going to do a little work on that and see where it takes me. (I haven’t done any work on it since the summer of 2018 — right when I met the man that I fell in love with who then died.)

My ex-husband in NYC called me this morning to see how I was getting along, and I told him about my problem with focusing right now, and he encouraged me to focus on writing as little as one page a day, on any project at all, so that I could begin to feel like I was making some progress. And so I did that and it really worked. I feel a lot better.

And apparently the Vice President of the United States, Mike Pence, reads my blog, because I saw him doing an interview today on Instagram (of all places) wherein he talked about the number of people in the US who were taking the Covid 19 virus test and testing negative, and he said that these are the numbers currently:  just under 10% in this country test positive for the virus, and over a million tests have been administered now. So that was good to hear, even though they expect that the next 2 weeks will see the virus peaking in this country.

I mentioned here recently that my ex-husband in Seattle emails me several times a day now to give me information about the virus, or to make me laugh, or just to inform me about things, in general — I wrote him this afternoon about the anxiety I feel whenever I have to leave Muskingum County and go into the next county, where they do have the virus (so far, we don’t). And how it kind of takes me a while to get back to normal after that.

And he emailed me this in return and it meant so much to me. It brought tears to my eyes. (This is a man I married 39 years ago, as of April 9th — a very long time ago. We haven’t been married anymore for a very long time, but he and I have been through a lot together — married or not.)

And so I’m sharing it with you, gang, as I say goodnight, close down my computer and go down to the kitchen to stream another episode of DCI Banks.  Listen to it and think of a friend who loves you, okay? (It’s probably me!!) Thanks for visiting. I do love you guys. Stay well. See ya.

“You’ve Got A Friend”

When you’re down and troubled,
And you need some love and care,
And nothing, nothing is going right
Close your eyes and think of me,
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night.

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I’ll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I’ll be there
You’ve got a friend

If the sky above you grows dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind begins to blow
Keep your head together and call my name out loud
Soon you’ll hear me knocking at your door

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I’ll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I’ll be there
And I’ll be there, yes I will.

Now, ain’t it good to know that you’ve got a friend
When people can be so cold?
They’ll hurt you, yes, and desert you
And take your soul if you let them,
Oh, but don’t you let them

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I’ll come running to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I’ll be there, yes I will.
You’ve got a friend

You’ve got a friend
Ain’t it good to know, you’ve got a friend?
Ain’t it good to know?
Ain’t it good to know?
Ain’t it good to know, you’ve got a friend?

Oh yeah, now
Oh, you’ve got a friend
Yeah, baby
You’ve got a friend
Oh yeah…
You’ve got a friend

© 1971 Carole King

Yeah, well…

Man, is it windy here, gang. You would not believe it. It began yesterday, continued all through the night, and continues this morning.

The wind was so strong, in fact, that it blew a couple sections of my neighbor’s privacy fence completely away, along with many individual slats in their fence.

However, you will notice by the photo below, that these missing segments of fence in NO WAY assist any of my dead leaves in their mission to get into my neighbor’s yard!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know. Isn’t it terrible? This situation with my dead leaves? Lest you think my sloth has gone unpunished — when I opened my back door this morning to get that photo, the wind blew just a ton of mouldery-spore allergen type stuff right up my sinuses and now I have a colossal sinus headache.

And now that the President has declared that our lockdown will continue to at least the end of April, if not actually the end of May, I honestly cannot imagine, at this point, that I won’t be raking those fucking leaves. God knows, I’ll have nothing but time… I’ll be really hard pressed to come up with a viable excuse for not raking them. I mean, I do own a fucking rake… and I know how to use it…

And in all honesty, if that segment of my neighbor’s fence that’s closest to my god-awful accumulation of dead leaves did give way, and suddenly all my dead leaves blew into his yard? Wow, I get the feeling he would be so fucking pissed at me.

So, yes, this morning, I resigned myself to this notion that I am going to have to rake those darn leaves.

Meanwhile.

Yes, our lockdown is set to continue — for maybe even as much as 2 more months. And with this in mind, I laid awake last night, wondering if maybe I might not want to get out the manuscript for Down to the Meadows of Sleep: The Hurley Falls Mystery, and read it over and maybe work on that right now? (See last evening’s quick post.)

If I recall correctly, I’m about 50 pages into it.  Even though it’s a murder mystery set primarily in a graveyard, it’s also sexy and funny and upbeat and quirky. So it might be good for my brain right now. I’m going to at least read it over and see.

Even though I have all this time to myself during this pandemic, I’m having trouble focusing on which project-in-progress of mine I really want to focus on.

I’m having trouble focusing, just in general. For me, because I lived in NYC during the AIDS crisis and during 9/11, those two tragedies were much harder for me to cope with than this current pandemic. During the AIDS crisis, literally dozens of my friends died quick & horrible deaths in the span of about 2 years — this was before anyone really understood what was killing them. And then 9/11 was sort of just unspeakable.

I have the type of PTSD that comes from a lifetime of physical, sexual, & mental abuse (C-PTSD, also called Complex Trauma Disorder). And even though Wayne and I were officially separated by the time of 9/11, we still lived in the same apartment but he was stuck in the South of France and couldn’t get a plane back to NYC. I had just gotten out of the hospital because of a bad MERSA infection that no one could figure out how I’d gotten, and they’d also had to do a biopsy on something in my throat because they thought I might have cancer — and then 9/11 happened in the midst of that and so I was in full-blown C-PTSD that entire time, and I was all alone in the (quite lovely) apartment, going nuts.

And whether or not you were alone, NYC during and post-9/11 was absolutely awful. And that is an understatement.

And now, even though I know this current pandemic is real and that for people who die from it, it is a really awful death, I’m still living in a place that hasn’t been touched by the virus and absolutely everything in my immediate world is exactly the same, except for social distancing in the store. My C-PTSD has remained absolutely dormant during a pandemic.

It is really just so strange. And yet all of my friends are in areas that are really hard hit by the virus, and of course that affects me, emotionally. So even though I have all this enforced time alone, it is really hard for me to focus. I sit at my desk, but I can’t focus in any meaningful way.

Perhaps switching to a novel that’s more fantasy and has nothing to do with reality as we know it, will help.

And speaking of social distancing, after my walk through the cemetery yesterday, I stopped in at the dollar store to buy two vital items: bathtub drain un-clogger and Hershey’s chocolate syrup! (Yes, I did buy more ice cream the other day; I was back to needing comfort food amid all those organic fruits & vegetables & yogurt & grains. And I ran out of chocolate syrup.)

Well, I went down that aisle that has the chocolate syrup in it, and there was a man standing right where I needed to be, and the store was almost out of chocolate syrup — I could readily see that from my social distance of 6 feet away — and yet I had to keep practicing social distancing. I could not get closer than 6 feet to that guy. So I tried patiently waiting for him to move, and then finally, such was my need to get my hands on one of those two remaining bottles of Hershey’s chocolate syrup, I finally said to him, “I’m really sorry, but I need to be right where you’re standing please.” (A sort of polite way of saying “Could you please move?”)

He sort of just looked at me, wondering, I’m sure, why I seemed 12 yet had all this long, silver windswept hair, and then he begrudgingly moved an additional 6 feet away.

Other than that though, so far, life is pretty much the same.

Although I am sleeping at really weird hours now.  I fell deeply asleep at 10PM last night, woke at 10:30, feeling like I’d slept at least 3 hours and was astounded to discover it had only been 30 minutes. Then I fell back to sleep until about 3 AM and then was texting back & forth with Kara for quite awhile.

Kara is always up at 3 AM, smoking cigarettes and drinking an espresso and trying to get some peace from the 6 wild dingoes that live with her. (They are not actually wild dingoes, but they are domestic dogs that were illegally bred with wild dogs and she rescued them and saved them from euthanasia. Much like me living with 7 feral cats that I rescued, never dreaming I was going to have to live with 7 wild animals for the rest of their natural lives  — and it started out as 12 of them…)  Anyway. Kara was awake, too, and so we were texting. We text every day.  Then I slept for 3 more hours. Then I got up.

It’s like that every day now — I either sleep too much or too little, but always at weird hours. And when I’m awake, I can’t focus. Even when I’m streaming those reruns of DCI Banks, I pause it every few minutes, then I get up and pace around and look out the windows and wish I still smoked and still drank because it seems like it would maybe give me something to really focus on, and then I sit back down and continue watching the show. It’s just weird.

But, still, you know — I feel really grateful for every moment. And all the moments that come on the heels of those.

Okay. On that note… I will get the day underway here, take a look at that manuscript and see how I feel about it.  Get another cup of coffee & hope it kills this sinus headache.  I hope this finds you doing well, wherever you are in the world. Thanks for visiting, gang. I’m still really only listening to Dylan’s “Murder Most Foul.” So, for now, I’ll just say that I love you guys. See ya!

If you listen carefully, gang, you can hear Dylan’s “Murder Most Foul” coming from that open window there. Okay. See ya!

After My Walk!

Hello again!

Since it is SO beautiful out today, I took another walk over to the cemetery. I tried to take better photos this time.

These are a couple of the founders of this town, along with Eliza, one of the wives that I mentioned the other day,  who all feature largely  in my novel-in-progress Down to the Meadows of Sleep: The Hurley Falls Mystery.

If you’re not familiar with this particular title, all of the dead residents of the cemetery (the founders) are alive & well in the town’s afterlife and they try to help the people who are currently alive & living in the town solve a murder.

I’m on my kitchen porch, blogging on my phone, so here’s hoping the photos post correctly!!

(PS: Cold weather is coming back tomorrow, so I’m going to really try to enjoy this beautiful evening. See ya! I love you guys!)

John Wimmer, one of the founders of the town, with a whole lot of the beautiful town behind him there! Those will all be green cornfields soon enough!

Eliza, Sam’s much younger wife. She died at age 36 — in my novel, they were eternally in love with each other, which is why she only outlived hm by 13 years.

A better shot of Sam’s crypt than the one I took the other day. He was the main founder and the man my town is named after.

Another shot of Sam’s crypt, along with my lovely shadow!!