Tag Archives: writing

Excerpt #1: Thug Luckless: Welcome to P-Town

July 26, 2020 marilyn jaye lewis Leave a comment

Okay, gang. Today my post is really short because it’s my day to work on Thug Luckless and I don’t want to get too distracted.

Guess what?? During the night, the hydrangea next to my kitchen porch finally bloomed!! I took this photo just as the sun was coming up, around 6am.

It’s a gorgeous day here in Crazeysburg, but it is supposed to get really hot again, so I’ve already done the treadmill for today. And I’m planning to just sit here at my desk and work on the new novel and hope that the heat doesn’t get unbearable by midday.

As the title of this post implies, I’m going to post my first excerpt from Thug Luckless: Welcome to P-Town.

Even though it’s a philosophical novel, it is also going to be hardcore erotic. This excerpt is not sexually explicit, though. I just like the way it flows.

For readers new to the blog: the title character, Thug Luckless, is an abandoned sexbot, alone in the post-apocalyptic city of P-Town. (And it’s not Provincetown, Rhode Island — it’s called P-Town for a different reason.) The novel is told from Thug’s POV. His owner, Mavis, dies unexpectedly from an aneurysm while in the middle of having sex with Thug, and no one in the town knows how to turn him off. So he wanders the town; is always “willing & able” to have sex with anyone who approaches him, but he becomes increasingly less willing as time goes on and he gradually develops self-awareness. However, he is still not able to stop having sex, even though he wants to, because nobody can turn him off. (The premise is Pinocchio-esque in certain ways.)

All righty. The excerpt is followed by some of my treadmill music from today!! I was listening to Nocturama (2003), by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds, and the song is “Bring It On.”

Okay, gang. Enjoy your Sunday!! Thanks for visiting. I love you guys. See ya.

*********************************************

Excerpt from Thug Luckless: Welcome to P-Town. (Approx. 1 & 1/2 pages)

Taken from Part One: Mavis Says Goodbye
© 2020 Marilyn Jaye Lewis

In the truck, it was unnerving – packed in that crate. I couldn’t move. And it was dark. Darker than anything I could remember since getting the eyes. Plus, there was stuff all over me. Tiny little flecks of it. Even though I had the clothes on, I could still feel it.

When the lid was pried open – finally – there she was. Mavis. My angel with a crowbar. She’d come to my rescue, like I’d hoped somebody would. She was kind. She smiled a lot – starting from the very moment that she said “hello, you” and took me out of the crate.

And she was really smart. Right away, she got rid of that remote. There was none of that zapping me from across the room. Those times in the factory, during the tests – I always felt invaded.

Whenever Mavis needed me to do something specific, she came up close to me and put her hands right on me, gently feeling for the buttons. Her fingers – that was something really comforting. It felt nice when Mavis touched me.

I miss Mavis.

* * *

“There used to be stars up there,” Mavis said, sitting up. “Do you know what stars are?”

It was my first time having a conversation. The images came slowly. I waited for the picture to come into the front of my head – to the screen – and then I focused on it: Stars. Shining gaseous lights in the heavens. Seen as distant diamonds in a black night sky.

Although not in P-Town. You could no longer see stars in the skies of P-Town.

“Yes,” I told her, sitting up, too. “I know what stars are.”

She handed me my cigarette. Out of politeness to her, it was never lit. She had trouble with her lungs. Because of the accident.

I stuck the cigarette in the corner of my mouth. It stayed there unlit while we had our conversation.

“Before the accident at the plant,” she continued, “the sky was full of stars. I was married then. Well, I should say that my husband was still alive then. We used to come up here some nights and make love. Under the stars.”

“Make love,” I said. I waited for the image to come, and then I focused: Fucking. What she and I had just been doing. That’s all that came. “There’s some confusion,” I told her. “Make love is not coming up.”

“What we were just doing,” she explained. “Making love is what you and I were just doing.”

“Fucking,” I said. “Fucking is to make love?”

She shrugged her naked shoulders. “Yes,” she said. “With us, it is. Remember that, okay?”

“Okay.” I felt the word fucking being erased, and in its place: Make love.

“Are you cold?” she asked. “Do you want to get dressed and go back inside?”

“I don’t know,” I replied. “Are we cold?”

She stood up and I watched her pull her dress back on. “I think so,” she said. “Let me help you.”

Up there on the roof, Mavis dressed me. I watched her, learning her movements. Committing them to my inner screen. I watched her fingers button the front of my shirt. Then I looked into her face. She was the very same height as I was. I could see directly into her eyes. On the screen inside of my head there were flowers; fields and fields of flowers. “Pretty,” I said.

Mavis smiled. She took the cigarette out of my mouth for a moment and then kissed me.

“You’re pretty, too,” she said. “Now, let’s go back downstairs.”

“We’re cold?” I asked.

“Yes, honey.” She linked my arm with hers. “We’re cold.”

****************************************

“Bring It On”

This garden that I built for you
That you sit in now and yearn
I will never leave it, dear
I could not bear to return
And find it all untended
With the trees all bended low
This garden is our home, dear
And I got nowhere else to go

So bring it on
Bring it on
Every little tear
Bring it on
Every useless fear
Bring it on
All your shattered dreams
And I’ll scatter them into the sea
Into the sea

The geraniums on your window sill
The carnations, dear, and the daffodil
Well, they’re ordinary flowers
But they long for the light of your touch
And of your trembling will
Ah, you’re trembling still
And I am trembling too
To be perfectly honest I don’t know
Quite what else to do

So bring it on
Bring it on
Every neglected dream
Bring it on
Every little scheme
Bring it on
Every little fear
And I’ll make them disappear

So bring it on, bring it on
Bring it on
Every little thing
Bring it on
Every tiny fear
Bring it on
Every shattered dream
And I’ll scatter them into the sea

And What A Fine Saturday It Is!

July 25, 2020 marilyn jaye lewis 1 Comment

So far, I’m sticking to my new schedule and it has been really effective. I got the new flash-memoir piece written and sent off for possible inclusion in a new anthology. We’ll see. It’s a new market for me — well, it’s a new LGBTQ+ small press.

And now I am at last getting ready to get back to work on Thug Luckless: Welcome to P-Town!! And I am really excited about that.

Sometime in the near future (?) I am going to be a guest on two different podcasts. I think primarily to promote my new novel The Guitar Hero Goes Home. But it could end up being that I just promote my delightful self, in general, and chatter away about many sex-positive things. I will keep you posted.

It is such a beautiful day here today. And overall I just feel so much calmer. Having that new weekly schedule has organized my life, overnight. I wake up, I look at the calendar on my wall, it tells me what I’m scheduled to work on today, and my life instantly falls into line. I don’t have to look at my desk, from one pile to another, and feel guilty before the day even starts because I’m not getting enough done.

Well, onto other topics.

I finally gave up on Quibi. I didn’t want to. I loved the whole idea of it and I loved the series, “Agua Donkeys” but that series is long over and I don’t like anything else they’re offering. And, after chatting with Valerie in Brooklyn the other day, and she reminded me that there is a new season of “Agatha Raisin” on Acorn TV — and I love “Agatha Raisin” and I love Acorn TV — I decided it would be a better way to spend my money, so I cancelled Quibi and I re-signed-up for Acorn TV and then watched the first episode of Season 3 of “Agatha Raisin” last evening and was just delighted from start to finish.

I used to subscribe to Acorn TV, and to Hulu, and to Netflix, and also to CBS Special Access, but then I cancelled everything except PBS Passport and Amazon Prime. It was just way too much TV. I also cancelled regular cable TV because of that — just too much. And its just me all by myself here. So it was just ridiculous.

I hate spending too much time in front of the TV (or streaming stuff on my iPad). It makes me feel like my whole life is drifting away from me. And even though there are TONS of shows on Acorn TV that I just love, I am going to try to not get all-out addicted to it. Of course, now that I have my trusty treadmill, I can sort of buffer the guilt-effect by doing the treadmill while streaming too much TV…

However, I did just pre-order the new Amazon firestick 4k. I did this because I really, really wanted to watch that Nick Cave solo concert on my smart TV the other night — the TV I inherited when my stepmom died that has sat on the floor in the dining room, gathering dust for 6 months.

However, when I went to hook it up, I remembered that I didn’t have the AC cable to plug the darn thing into the wall! And that’s why it’s sitting there gathering dust! That pesky electricity current that TV sets seem to really thrive on.

Anyway, I was chatting on the phone with Valerie when I suddenly remembered I needed to order the AC cable and at that point she urged me to get the 4k firestick because it was on sale… And since, if my friends told me to jump off a bridge, I would of course do it, I went ahead and ordered the firestick 4k along with the new AC cable.

[In America, when you tell your parents you want to do something because your friends are doing it, they say, “If your friends wanted you to jump off a bridge with them, would you do that, too?”] [It is best to reply “no,” but it is almost impossible to not reply instead, “What does that have to do with anything?!”]

Little by little, TV is inching its way back into my life. I can only assuage my conscience by reminding myself of that trusty treadmill…

And it’s not that I am that much of a workaholic that I can’t have something wonderful like Acorn TV again. I don’t mind not working, especially at night. But what I do mind is how easy it is for something like “Agatha Raisin” to lead to a nice bottle of St. Emilion and some Camembert, and then the next thing I will know is that I will have gained 20 pounds or something. Putting on weight is indeed something I have a real aversion to.

Okay. Well. Not that it’s even possible to find any bottle of St. Emilion, let alone a nice one, out here in the Hinterlands. Still, it’s the whole idea.

Anyway. Enough of my insanity. All craziness aside, I do love Acorn TV and I was sad to give up on Quibi because I loved the premise so much, but I simply wasn’t watching it anymore. None of the shows appealed to me. And almost every show on Acorn TV appeals to me.

Okay, gang. Let me get back to Thug Luckless here. I hope you are having a great Saturday, wherever you are in the world!! Thanks for visiting, gang. I leave you with the official trailer for Season 3 of “Agatha Raisin”. Enjoy. I love you guys. See ya!

Okay, Now We REALLY Gotta Get Organized!!

July 24, 2020 marilyn jaye lewis Leave a comment

It has come to my attention that I now need to set up a weekly calendar, setting aside one specific day each week for concentrating on one specific thing. So that each week can become a little more productive.

For instance, those of you who are (extremely patiently) awaiting feedback, suggestions, opinions from me on something you’re in the process of writing, have already written, or have even already published — I am now going to set aside one day a week to focus strictly on reading other writers’ works and finally replying to them.

So if you are one of those people patiently waiting on me to get back to you, I am going to make sure I focus on it and get back to you in a meaningful way as soon as I can.

But please just make a note — if you’re a new writer, I’m happy to give suggestions or feedback , however, if you’re asking me for actual editing, I charge for that. I am negotiable and flexible with my fees, though (i.e., a single parent who is still in college and working part-time — I will try hard to find a fee you can afford). I also am open to the idea of trading — if you’re an established writer needing an editor, and if you’re also good at editing, I’m always happy to trade projects for “free” editing. But, you know, if I give you a 45-page chapbook to edit, it wouldn’t seem fair to give me a War & Peace-length novel to edit in return!!!

Anyway. I’m flexible!!!

So now I’m going to have set days when I’m writing, set days when I’m reading, set days when I’m brainstorming on new ideas, and set days to work on my once-again-growing Abstract Absurdity Productions “to-do” list.

I guess you can see that my work load has gotten a little out of control yet again.

All righty!!

So, this arrived yesterday!! It was waiting on my porch when I got home from my dad’s house.

Ethan Russell probably took every single iconic photo of the Beatles and the Rolling Stones from my wee bonny girlhood! And I mean every single one.

The Rolling Stones | Rolling stones keith richards, Keith richards ... — Book jacket for Ethan Russell Photographs

He also took equally iconic photos of the Who, Janis Joplin, The Doors, etc. — all photos that I also remember well from my girlhood. But those ones of the Beatles and the Stones were just a huge part of my life. And having them all collected under one cover is just kind of astounding to me, you know? He took so many of the photos that are truly ingrained forever in my brain, from a time when I loved all those musicians so much.

This was a Kickstarter campaign, and this was the second issue of the book. I don’t know if you can actually just buy the book somewhere. But if you can, it is worth every penny.

Okay, also yesterday — I believe that I was the very last person on planet Earth to finally get the stream last night for Idiot Prayer: Nick Cave Alone at Alexandra Palace. At least that’s how it felt!! From those hours even before dawn yesterday, people in Australia and Asia were already posting to Instagram all their many comments and photos of the concert they were already watching. And then as the day unfolded, everyone all over Europe started doing the same thing. And then — finally – at 10pm Eastern time, the concert started streaming in my kitchen, and when I posted my own post to Instagram, absolutely everyone all over the world, except me, was already sound asleep… or so it felt!

But, wow, gang — the concert was just beautiful. 90 minutes of him alone at the piano, just singing one song after another and the time flew. He sang one brand new song (I think it’s brand new), “Euthanasia,” that was so captivating. And I thought to myself, Wow I am going to remember every word of this! But of course, when I woke up this morning, I discovered I couldn’t even recall one word of it. But it was beautiful. I do remember that.

Oh, here’s something amusing. If you recall, a couple months back, I posted the Einstürzende Neubauten song, “Wedding,” to the blog. It’s one of the songs off their new album, Alles in Allem. And I commented that I thought the song was about a wedding but that, knowing Einstürzende Neubauten, it might not be about a wedding at all. And, if you watched that Q&A I posted the other day with Blixa Bargeld, you, like me, discovered that “Wedding” is actually a neighborhood in Berlin.

So there we have it!! Indeed: not about a wedding at all.

Okay. I have a “to-do” list here that is longer than anything you can possibly imagine, gang — including a phone conference with Peitor in a couple hours for Abstract Absurdity Productions work. (We will be discussing which micro-script(s) we need to begin writing next Tuesday.)

And first, I need to write up that weekly calendar and post it to the wall!!! (Wait – no!! First, I have to go down to the kitchen and get another cup of coffee, then call my dad, then write up that calendar — then actually start working.)

So I’m gonna scoot. Have a great Friday, wherever you are in the world. On my trip down to see my dad (about a 3-hour drive each way), I listened to The Good Son, a Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds album from 1990. I usually listen to the song “Foi Na Cruz” over and over and over when I put on The Good Son CD in the kitchen, or stream it from my phone in the car. I just love the groove of that song, and once I start playing it, I can’t seem to ever move on to the rest of the CD anymore.

However, in the car, I just let the whole album play (several times) and was really astounded to rediscover what an incredible album it is. Every single song on it is a gem. (And two songs from it were huge hits: “The Ship Song,” and “The Weeping Song.”)

But when I got almost to the end, and “The Witness Song” came on, it was like turning a corner and seeing your long-lost best friend suddenly standing there!! I had totally forgotten what a killer song it is. Just fucking awesome. So on my 3-hour drive back home yesterday, I played “The Witness Song” on repeat for the entire 3 hours. And it made the trip just fly, gang. It felt like a 20-minute drive. It really did.

So that is what I leave you with today!! Enjoy!!! (Play it loud.) Thanks for visiting. I love you guys. See ya!

“The Witness Song”

Yeah, yeah
Well, well
I took a walk down to the port
Where strangers meet and do consort
All blinkered with desire
And a winter fog moved thickly on
A winter fog moved thickly on
A winter fog moved thickly on

Now, who will be the witness
When the fog’s too thick to see

And I saw a friend beside a wall
Her hands were raised in supplication
And her face I could not see at all
And I raised my hands in rage
And brought them down again
And we entered through the eastern door
And I entered through the eastern door
And she entered through the eastern door

Now, who will be the witness
When you’re all to blind to see
O yes, yes, yes

And time gets somewhat muddled here
But no matter, no matter
Here come the events all tumbling down
Now, beyond the wall was a great garden
Into which we passed
Me and my friend
And the place was all overgrown with weeds
And behold from its centre there rose a great fountain
The fountain with the healing waters
And we knelt down by the rim
And I dipped my hand in
And she dipped her hand in too
And I said “Are you healed?”
And she said “Well are you healed?”
And I said “Yes, I’m healed”
And she said “Well, yes I’m healed then too”
And I said “Babe, you are a liar”
“Babe, you are a liar”
“Babe, you are a liar, too”
Now, who will be the witness
When you’re all to healed to see

And I kissed her once, I kissed her twice
And made my way to leave her
And she raised her hand up to her face
And brought it down again
I said “That gesture, it will haunt me”
“That gesture it will haunt me”
And I left there by the eastern door
She left there by the western door

Now, who will be the witness there
When you’re blind and you can’t see
Who will be the witness there
When you’re all so clean and you cannot see
Who will be the witness there
When your friends are everywhere
Who will be the witness there
And your enemies have ceased to care

Let’s Get Ready to Party!!

July 21, 2020 marilyn jaye lewis 2 Comments

Wow, what an awful lot of busy-work emails I’ve had to attend to here this morning!!

However, now everything is done. Replies sent out, papers filed, bills paid, etc. For all intents and purposes we are now moving onward to my BIRTHDAY!!

I’m heading out to my dad’s first thing tomorrow morning, and might not post again until Friday. I’m not sure. Sometimes I like to post from my phone. We’ll see. But I’ll be at my dad’s (whose county is still basically under lockdown) for my birthday tomorrow, and his 90th birthday on Thursday, heading back home Thursday afternoon.

But, yes, tomorrow, I turn 60!! It is so hard to believe. And yesterday — if you don’t follow me on Instagram and don’t already know this — I got carded!! Yes!! Me!! I was 2 days away from turning 60 and the guy at the gas station asked to see my ID before he would sell me a pack of Pall Mall cigarettes.

(For non-Americans: being carded means that they want to see your legal identification to prove how old you are. In Ohio you must be 21 to buy cigarettes.)

I was so thrilled that there was some question about how old I was! (BTW, I still don’t smoke, but I do always have an unlit, unfiltered cigarette in my mouth now, every time I sit down at my desk to write. So I’ve now gone through an entire pack of Pall Malls.) (By the way, my parents smoked Pall Malls when I was a wee bonny toddler! Back then, they were filterless. Nowadays, I have to carefully snap the filters off.)

I guess I do dress sort of like a non-adult. I had on a baggy red t-shirt from the dollar store that says “LOVE” across the front of it. I had on baggy cargo shorts. Flip-flops. My sunglasses. And my hair is not only really long now, but I’ve been using this awesome daily leave-in conditioner from France — 94% pure organic avocado oil — and, for some reason, it has toned the silver in my hair way down, making it look almost white-blonde now.

So I’m guessing that all of it together, had a lot to do with that guy thinking I was WAY younger than I’ve been in decades!!!!

I was just so thrilled, you know? And it was funny because as I was taking out my Driver’s License at a gas station to prove I was 60 years old and legally allowed to buy a pack of Pall Malls (for $7) that I won’t actually smoke, I flashed back to being 13, buying a pack of Salem’s that I was indeed going to smoke, and not even needing to speak to a person in order to buy them — I just put my money in the cigarette machine that was located outside right next to the gas pump. And it was something like 3am when I was buying the cigarettes. I mean that seriously. I was out wandering around at 3am (I did that a lot at 13), and I just walked up to the machine and bought a pack of Salem’s for — (drum roll!!!!!) — 35 cents!!!

What’s also weird, is that back when I was 13, I looked a lot older than I was, and in restaurants, waiters would always ask me if I wanted a cocktail before dinner! Honestly. So weird, right? Now I have to prove that I’m old enough to buy a pack of cigarettes.

To refresh your memory: Marilyn Jaye Lewis at age 13

I love that it happened yesterday. I doubt it’s an all-out new trend, though, or anything.

Okay, well. There is a new Q &A with Blixa Bargeld about Alles in Allem,the new Einstürzende Neubauten album. It’s on YouTube and it is quite cool, and you can watch it right here:

And Nick Cave’s web site sent out a beautiful promo this morning for Thursday’s concert streaming event . (Ticket purchasing info is here.) Here is the brief promo:

And with that, I’m gonna scoot!! Thanks for visiting, gang!! Have a terrific Tuesday, wherever you are in the world! I love you guys. See ya!

Yes, Indeedy!!

July 20, 2020 marilyn jaye lewis 2 Comments

Today is the day we drive over to the next county to go get the groceries. (By “we,” I of course mean me and my sexbot, Henry — pictured with me above — who is a really good driver.)

And the next county over, is now back to being in Code Red with the fucking virus. Which really only means that you still have to wear your mask, but what it also means is that if you don’t wear your mask, you’re in trouble.

So here’s hoping that I can just get to town and back and get it over with without any drama. Loyal readers of this lofty blog perhaps recall that last Monday, my trip to town to get groceries involved “drama,” in the way of an expensive flat tire that made a normal hour and a half trip, turn into a 5 hour trip. And I really don’t feel like spending 5 hours in a county that’s back in Code Red.

Okay!!

Sorry I didn’t post yesterday, but the heat was just unreal. The heat index was up to 102 degrees Fahrenheit around here — a truly bright & relentlessly sunny day!! Until evening, when storms blew in and finally brought the temperatures down and I could think straight again.

I wanted to post yesterday morning, but instead I sat for a really long time staring at the blog, wondering how to form a coherent sentence and then type it. Finally, I gave up and collapsed back in bed.

Well, I have some exciting projects on the horizon!! Yes — more writing projects. These will be non-fiction, journalism-type projects, having to do with sex. Not erotic, just sexual health or sexual well-being. Or maybe even the new sexual frontier!! (There is one, by the way!! And Henry, my beloved sexbot, is a big part of it!!) (Alas, no — I still can’t afford a sexbot.)

But the writing projects are real. (And, yes, maybe even another web site. I know. I’m nuts. Anyway.) I have a phone conference on Thursday to start getting a better understanding of that.

Yes!! Something else to do on Thursday!! It begins with my dad’s 90th birthday in Cincinnati — and now I will have to drive back here to Crazeysburg in time for the phone conference. Then later Thursday night, Idiot Prayer: Nick Cave Alone at Alexandra Palace will happen!!

Don’t forget to buy your ticket!! As you can see here, seats are limited!! (Oh wait, it looks like that one available seat has already been claimed by Nick Cave…) I am of course, JUST KIDDING! You stream the concert on the DICE app and sit wherever you fucking want to sit!! Yay!!

Honestly, though. I can’t wait for this concert. I’m super excited.

And, in summation, I have some really cool projects coming up in my tidy little future that I will know more about on Thursday.

I don’t know about you, but I awoke to more bad news coming out of China — just be aware of it, people. I don’t think India is so far off the mark by banning Chinese phone apps, like Tik Tok and WeChat, because the apps are monitoring you, while you’re off being harmlessly silly on your phone! And this article from this morning by tech journalist, Shane Tews, didn’t make things sound any safer. In part, she says:

“…China wants to move away from the global internet’s ubiquitous architecture, which is based on TCP/IP, to a centralized model using government-approved standards.

“[But] China is leveraging policy and technology in an attempt to create a new protocol that is friendlier to Beijing’s goals and Chinese Communist Party ideals. China’s first National Cybersecurity Strategy described the need for the internet to be more structured to enable cyberspace as a “new territory for sovereignty.” Under President Xi Jinping, links between national security, cybersecurity, and technology have been reinforced and are a top policy priority…

“This is why the multi-stakeholder engagements that allow civil society to play a key role alongside industry, academia, and governments should be involved when national security and human rights could be affected. China’s rise in technical expertise will continue to fuel tension in these discussions. While China’s capabilities are often on par with or best in class for new technologies, it is abusing the realm of standards policy–setting in an attempt to take over governance of the internet. If this happens, the internet as we know it will quickly be diminished.” — China’s tech ambitions threaten to fundamentally change how the internet functions

The article is much more detailed than what I’ve included here. You can read it in full at that link above, if you don’t mind getting thoroughly depressed.

And if you do enjoy getting thoroughly depressed about China, then also keep this in mind — if you didn’t hear about this back in May:

“…backed by Beijing, Huawei and other Chinese telecoms companies are assiduously working to bend the international 5G standards process to their interests. In sum, discounting Huawei as an “inefficient . . . sloppy” competitor is belied by its relentless rise and current 5G position.

“As US intelligence officials pointed out [at the time], it was quite likely that these [Huawei] “glitches” were calculated, in that Beijing and Huawei aimed to hide future malware or backdoors within supposedly flawed software.” – Huawei Is Not A Paper Tiger

I know it seems like I’m being anti-China today, but I’m really only anti-Mainland Government, not the actual Chinese people.

But, if you’re an American Democrat, keep this in mind, too:

“Biden’s position on China is dangerous and not based in reality. For years the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) has been sending Chinese students to America’s top doctorate programs in order to gain access to university research labs. There, they steal intellectual property from the highest levels of U.S. science.

“Now, we know China’s dangerous handling of viruses in its own labs has led to one of the most devastating and fastest economic destructions in global history.” — Katie Pavlich, Joe Biden’s China Problem

This kind of stuff, gang. I knew so many mainland Chinese people when I lived in NYC and that kind of stuff was happening constantly, even back then — sending people over here to gather information to send back there. It’s real.

And I only keep bringing it up because I am so angry at the Democratic Party for purposely proposing a puppet candidate like Biden — like we’re stupid and can’t fucking see through all of this.

However, the eagerness of so many Democrats to want to vote for this guy is scariest of all to me.

Anyway. On that happy note, I intend to move on to the rest of my morning around here.

I hope you have a really good Monday planned for yourself, wherever you are in the world. For some reason, I was back to listening to Cat Stevens again last night — Tea For the Tillerman, from my wee bonny girlhood. Specifically, his hit song from that 1970 album, which I’ve posted here before, “Wild World”. I will leave you with that again today! You know, clearly, when it comes to the world, nothing ever really changes, does it, gang? All righty! I love you, guys. See ya!

One Phone Call Can Change Everything!!

July 18, 2020 marilyn jaye lewis Leave a comment

That’s right, gang!!

You could maybe have three projects on your desk that you’re toying with at least the idea of pouncing on at any moment — then you wisely collapse on your bed for a momentary nap, which will undoubtedly help you to decide which of the three projects you’re actually going to decide upon maybe doing…

And then Peitor suddenly calls you, finally, from West Hollywood, where he has been deeply entrenched for many, many days trying to finish song mixes while in a renewed state of California-lockdown, and at long last he is ready to tackle Abstract Absurdity Productions business, and interestingly enough, he has quite a list of things that, if you could just organize it all and get it to him before you speak to him again on Tuesday, it would help get things focused and you can then move forward simultaneously on a number of Abstract Absurdity projects quite quickly!

Yeah, so there you go. From a possible three things on your desk, to a sudden onslaught of seventeen things on your desk, needed before Tuesday…

All in one phone call!!

Of course, I don’t actually mind. I’m glad to have his attention again because we really have a ton of stuff to get back to. But it’s just funny. My life has always been like this — 17 projects at once, which only makes me pine for the days of 5 minutes ago, when I only had 3 projects at once.

But life is good. I’m getting used to the treadmill, but it is still a rather intense little gizmo. I’m thinking it could take me at least a week or more to get back to the stamina I once had. I find it just sort of astounding — what’s happened to my stamina in these 4 months of pandemic/lockdown weirdness (not to mention that for nearly 3 of those months, I was actually dealing with the virus itself).

I had another meltdown yesterday morning, but I’m thinking (hoping) that’s going to be it for awhile. I spent two hours on the phone with Valerie in Brooklyn, as she talked me down from the metaphorical ledge and afterwards, I finally felt on solid emotional ground again. (Family stuff, business stuff, emotional-heart stuff.)

And directly after the phone call with her, all those things started to fall back into place in my life again, or at least in my head. And I finally felt sane.

I know that everyone the world over has emotional turmoil stuff related to COVID 19 and all that it has wrought, but the past 10 days or so, seem to have just piled stuff onto me that I couldn’t handle. At all. But I think it’s over now. I hope.

I also noticed yesterday evening, while I was out watering my many petunias, that those flowers are really growing like gangbusters! I mean, they were just bursting up and out and just so gloriously colorful and healthy. I’m going to have to remember to take some photos of them.

And I realized (once again) that even when I’m truly out of my fucking mind, seemingly for days on end, I am able to nonetheless give meticulous attention to living things like flowers and 7 feral but extremely healthy and happy cats.

I manage to take care of myself, too, actually. Part of trying to rein-in the whole mental weirdness that ensues in me, is being so meticulous about what I eat and when I’m eating it and working out in some way. You know. Trying to hold onto a routine so that I don’t go completely under.

And yet, when I come completely out from under — I look around and think, wow, I can’t believe I remembered to do all this. (Which is why people who know me, or see me, but don’t read my blog, have no clue that I am completely out of my mind.)

All righty!!!!

Well, I’m gonna get moving here. I hope you have a great Saturday, whatever you’ve got planned and wherever you are in the world. Yesterday, Bluenote Records released an album of previously unreleased tracks from Art Blakey & The Jazz Messengers from 1959. If you’re a fan of Moanin’ then you will love this new album Just Coolin‘. I leave you with the title track today. So enjoy. Thanks for visiting, gang!! I love you guys. See ya.

This Little Guy Kicked My Butt!!!

July 17, 2020 marilyn jaye lewis Leave a comment

No — not the bears, and not the guy hollering that dinner is served.

I am, in fact, referring to this!! The no-frills, manual, inexpensive TREADMILL:

I put it together yesterday, after the all-important lube arrived.

Oh, and guess what? Once I unwrapped and untaped the flywheels, deep inside there was a little bottle of lube!! I didn’t need to wait a whole fucking week!

I guess it would have been nice if the instruction manual made it clear that there was a bottle of lube included, but that it was tucked away deep in the packaging, because I did, indeed search for it, but I had no clue I had to unwrap absolutely everything in order to find it…

Anyway. Water under the bridge now!! Because now I have just a ton of treadmill-belt lube in the house! Not likely to run out for a few years.

So. Yes. This harmless-looking treadmill kicked my butt yesterday. Because the slowest speed it goes is 3.2 miles an hour.

Now, in Olden Times, I could easily walk 3.2 miles in an hour (in NYC-speak, that’s about 50 blocks in an hour; very easy to do). But if you — like me — haven’t needed to walk anywhere in any sort of hurry since March 14th, suddenly going at a speed of 3.2 mph is actually quite a clip!!

Plus it was REALLY humid here yesterday and the temperature inside the house was 89 degrees Fahrenheit. So that made a sudden jaunt at 3.2 mph rather overwhelming.

HOWEVER!! I love this little thing. And it does fold up really easily, except that the handles do not fold down, so it ends up needing a lot of space, even when folded. But it does have a nice, battery-operated computer that tracks mileage, speed and time elapsed. Which is all I need. And since it’s manual, I don’t need to set it up anywhere near an electrical outlet. So I really love this thing. I’m planning on losing ten pounds on it later today…

Okay!!

Oh, here’s something astounding. Now there is a rabid anti-Trump Republican-PAC faction, trying to make Trump-hating waves in Ohio. Republicans. Well, Republicans “against COVID -19” so they hate Trump. (I think it might be wiser to aim that anger at China, but that’s just me…) (Oh, and are you seeing the random news items from all over the Western world that Wuhan lab technicians fled China and defected to the West? And that France, Britain and the FBI are, you know, I don’t know — gathering information from them? It will be really interesting to see if this is true.)

Okay!! This weekend on Bad Seed TeeVee, all those fan-made videos will be streaming nonstop. You should check it out when you can, because those videos people made are just so cool.

And a new contest was announced on the Nick Cave Instagram site this morning, where musicians can submit videos of themselves performing Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds songs and then the winners can be on Bad Seed TeeVee, too. Or perhaps just get autographed slides? I’m not actually clear on that…

But lots of interactive Nick Cave stuff going on this summer, gang.

You know, it was brought to my attention yesterday that one of my few remaining publishers would likely be willing to publish any/all of my upcoming books — erotic or not. And while it really cheered me considerably for a little while, the more I thought about it, the more it just made sense to publish all my own stuff from now on. (Part of that is wanting control over my cover design.)

But it did make me feel really good.

All righty. Well, I’m still contemplating that flash/memoir piece for submission to an upcoming anthology. I’m not 100% sure yet. But if I do write it or if I don’t, the next thing I can’t wait to settle back into is Thug Luckless: Welcome to P-Town. So here’s hoping I make a firm decision about that today.

Have a wonderful Friday, wherever you are in the world, okay? Thanks for visiting. I leave you with my late-night listening music from last night — in fact, I fell asleep while listening to this. Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, LIVE, singing a cover of the Bobby Womack song, “I’m In Love.” (1982, Wembley Arena, London England) Listen and, if at all possible, fall in love and enjoy. I love you guys. See ya.

Just A Real Onslaught Today, Gang!

July 16, 2020 marilyn jaye lewis Leave a comment

But the good news is that the special lube for the treadmill belt will arrive sometime today, and I can finally put that treadmill together and start using it.

I actually am really looking forward to it. I love treadmills. And even though I actually really like the current aerobics workout I’ve been doing lately, it’s still a video that I have to log on to. With a treadmill, I can stream anything I feel like watching, or just listen to music, or listen to something more spiritual. I like having those options.

The onslaught mentioned above, refers to a bunch of private stuff I can’t go into detail about on the blog. I can only say that some of it is family stuff that is truly distressing me, but there’s nothing I can do about it. Some of it has to do with really distressing stuff a business partner is going through, that affects me, sort of by proxy.

And then also just some private affairs of the heart which are just challenging me beyond belief around here, gang. But onward. End-times come when they come, and I just have to learn how to change. I’m actually pretty good with change, once I get past the heartache of it, you know? This one is a doozy, though.

If you follow me on Facebook, you probably saw that I re-posted the Balladeer’s post of an interesting video of black businessmen discussing on an interview show about how, in his private life, Trump had given the black businessmen private business loans that saved their businesses and he did not make them ever pay him back. And also a black fashion model that Trump dated for several years in the 90s, all out in the open and everything, and she’s quoted as saying that he is not racist, there just aren’t that many people of any color that he actually likes.

I don’t know. I just like to throw everything into the mix and just think about it, about what a dangerous weapon the press can wield on all sides. (Meaning, there doesn’t seem to be any real reasons to think that Trump is “racist.”)

Okay. Well, Nick Cave sent out a Red Hand Files thing today. You can read it here, if you so choose! He was his usual eloquent self. And don’t forget to buy a ticket for the streaming event next Thursday evening, Idiot Prayer: Nick Cave Alone at Alexandra Palace.

I did manage to get off those review copies of The Guitar Hero Goes Home yesterday afternoon. (Going to long-time colleagues who know my work very well, who will be supplying cover blurbs. So it will be interesting to see how they react to/review something that’s so unlike anything I’ve written thus far.)

Still trying to figure out a name for the publishing company, and still trying to figure out if I will eventually want to publish other writers or not. That decision plays a huge role in how I will format the final manuscript and where I want to house the files to publish the POD version of the novel. That last part is a huge consideration that I need to come to a decision about.

(Meaning, if I just want to self-publish, I can go to CreateSpace and publish the novel by later this afternoon! Assuming Valerie had the cover art completed, which she doesn’t. But if I think I’ll want it to be an actual small press, I need to house it somewhere that gives me better access to international markets.)

So, I guess I need to come to a decision…

All righty, then. I guess I’d better get started here. I had another one of my little meltdowns for most of yesterday so I didn’t make any headway on the flash/memoir piece I want to write. I think my meltdown for today is already over, so I hope to just get some good work done today, and then get that treadmill put together this evening!!

I’m also hoping the treadmill will help stave off these many meltdowns I’m having. I don’t want people to feel like they can’t call me, or confide in me, or write to me or need me for something that astounds me. And I also don’t want to have a heart that grows cold & insane and forgets how to love, you know? But when the shit storms come to this house in the middle of nowhere — and they do — it’s always just me alone, now, trying to handle everything without losing my temper or falling to pieces.

Oh, and I want to mention something really weird here. Last night, after the lights were out and I was in bed, thinking I was going to fall asleep, I suddenly, out of the blue, decided to google George Harrison.

I love George Harrison but I know next to nothing about his life. Usually, when I love musicians, I love their music and don’t really need to know anything else. There are a couple of exceptions: That Conversations with Tom Petty book, by Paul Zollo, that came out in 2005, absolutely blew me the fuck away, because Tom Petty was never a man to tell anything personal to the press. So I never really knew anything about him at all. Then that book came out and he was talking about everything under the sun; truly personal stuff as well as his various inspirations behind every single song he ever wrote.

And Keith Richards, of course. Not only because his memoir, Life, from 2010, was astoundingly detailed and wonderful, but because Valerie in Brooklyn used to work for Keith & Patti back when the girls were still really young. And so I know these really personal things about Keith’s life that are delightful but really private.

And then, of course, Nick Cave’s Red Hand Files and then his In Conversations tour, brought a whole lot about his life to light and so now I know that.

But normally, I’m just into the music. So, I googled George Harrison and found out all this stuff about him that I never, ever, ever knew. Stuff that kind of astounded me — because (!!) — as I lay in bed in the dark after reading all that stuff, I was struck by the similarities between him and the character that I randomly named “George” in The Guitar Hero Goes Home.

Long time readers of this lofty blog no doubt recall that, three summers ago now, I suddenly began writing The Guitar Hero Goes Home out of thin air (back then, I thought it was called Blessed By Light). It just started coming to me from out of nowhere when I was sitting at the kitchen table one day, like it was being dictated to me and I was scribbling it down while it came. I have no clue where that novel came from or why I wrote it, and it’s not like anything I’ve ever written before. So this “George” character is just so fucking odd. Not that they are identical twins, or anything, But the number of similarities between the character in the book named “George” and the stuff I never knew about George Harrison and now know — it was just so peculiar.

Okay. On that note, I’m really gonna scoot now. Have a good Thursday, wherever you are in the world. Thanks for visiting. I hope life is being really good to you today. (You know, if God had come to me moments before I was born, and showed me even a general blueprint of my life and how it was going to live, and then said to me, “Are you sure you wanna go through with all this?” I would have said no, and gotten the heck out of that womb…) Anyway. Let’s move on. I love you guys. See ya.

Outta My Fucking Mind!!

July 15, 2020 marilyn jaye lewis 2 Comments

Honestly.

Yesterday wound up being a not very good day for me, energy-wise.

Yes — even though it was Bastille Day and we should have been rejoicing over those 7 people who were liberated from the Bastille prison in Paris 300 years ago! My mood just kept tanking. I had to do battle with depression all day yesterday, yet again.

You know, I looked up some stuff about what raises serotonin levels, since I seem to have a sort of permanent problem with this lifelong depression. And it turns out that — yes! — my intensely boring diet is packed to the brim with everything that’s good for raising serotonin levels. Plus, I work out.

So.

Then I looked up the various things that lower serotonin levels, and I do none of those things.

But then I read that childhood abuse and trauma “is associated with low serotonin transporter binding in vivo in a major depressive disorder.”

Meaning: creating a permanent problem.

That was really cheery fucking news! But you know, I am one of those people that seriously hates being held captive by shit like this. So that, of course, kind of depressed me, too.

Then, since I clearly was not going to get a break from it all on my own after having been battling it all day and, come hell or high water, I wanted to get a good night’s sleep and be in a better place today, I took 1/18th of a piece of a Tylenol PM, and it helped me sleep great. However, I woke up to my usual happy coffee this morning, and the caffeine colliding with what was left of the diphenhydramine HCI (from the Tylenol PM) in my system, has given me the most amazing case of intensely overactive jittery nerves.

So, yes — everything’s going splendidly!! (And I’m now awaiting the huge amount of protein I just ate to kick in and combat the nerves…)

But this means that I got nothing productive accomplished yesterday. But, I’m not depressed today so I’m planning on having a much better day today.

I need to write up a synopsis for The Guitar Hero Goes Home, so that I can send the manuscript off to receive its — hopefully– stellar back cover blurbs, and then I want to start working on that flash/memoir piece for possible publication in an upcoming anthology. So I am very hopeful that today will be a really good day.

The Nick Cave web site sent out a note from Nick Cave today, about the upcoming Idiot Prayer: Nick Cave Alone at Alexandra Palace. It was quite cool! You can read it here. And, of course, buy tickets here (this is a streaming event through the DICE app. You don’t actually go anywhere except possibly to your kitchen to get snacks!!)

And on that promising note, I’m gonna scoot here, gang. Get this day underway. I hope you enjoy your Wednesday, wherever you are in the world. Thanks for visiting!! I leave you with absolute utter silence today, only because I’ve been too depressed to listen to music. However, I feel confident that will change! All righty. I love you guys. See ya.

Wow, What An Eventful Day!!

July 14, 2020 marilyn jaye lewis Leave a comment

Yesterday, that is.

Right after I posted to the blog yesterday morning, I got into the car to drive into town and get the groceries. I stopped at the little ATM drive-thru at the edge of town there, but the ATM was temporarily out-of-service.

What I was able to do, though, was somehow gouge the fuck out of my rear tire. I drove about 1/8th of a mile from the ATM, when I heard something not at all pleasant coming from the back end of the car. I pulled over, got out, and lo & behold, a very flat tire.

So then I had to wait for roadside assistance to come change the tire. (Yes! I was a mere 5 minutes from my house…)

But here are some good things about that:

- It was a gorgeous day!!
- My phone service had been going in & out all morning, but after a feverish prayer to the god of cellphone service, on my second attempt to call roadside assistance, the phone came back on and stayed on the rest of the day
- I don’t have to pay for roadside assistance, it comes with my Honda lease
- Basically everyone who passed me on the road stopped and asked it I needed any help, which was so nice
- I saw a bald eagle land in the field across from me, and then take off again, and those wings are incredibly HUGE. It was breathtaking!!
- The guy from the roadside assistance came in 20 minutes!!
- The guy was really nice!
- My Honda comes with a great spare tire because it is brand-new
- I drove straight to the town where the Honda dealership is once the tire was changed, before going to get the groceries, and they had the tire I needed, I could afford the tire I needed without having to put it on a credit card, and they were able to take me right away without an appointment
- I hung out in the Honda waiting room and played around on Instagram until they finished changing my tire (behaving not as if I will be 60 next week, but as if I am still 12!!) (Yay!!)
- Last but not least, this was my view while I waited for roadside assistance:

The view from my car while I waited for roadside assistance.

It was definitely not a bad day.

The only thing I sort of regret is that, by the time I was able to get to the grocery store, I was really hungry so I bought all kinds of cool stuff that I never buy!!

For instance: organic grilled veggie pizza that I will eat in its entirety all by myself; many assorted non-GMO, organic, salty, not-at-all-fat-free snacks; and high-protein, low-fat mint chocolate chip ice cream bars!!

And the entire time that I was putting all these no-no’s into my shopping cart (“no-no’s” only because I live alone so I will eat all of this stuff all by myself), I kept reminding myself not to worry; that I have a treadmill now!! (And all I need is for that special treadmill-belt-lube to arrive, so that I can feel motivated to actually assemble the treadmill and — you know — use it.)

So there we go!! A perfect day!! (And to be honest, it wasn’t until I opened the cupboard this morning to get out my non-GMO, organic flax & pumpkin seed granola (that fools my body into thinking it is not post-menopausal but is, in fact, way, way, way pre-menopausal), that I saw all those happy snacks awaiting me!! And I got super happy myself!!

Oh, and when I finally got back from town, that set of stoneware appetizer dishes all covered in flowers that I had ordered the other day, had arrived! And they are really pretty. (Of course, it’s sort of sad that I will never ever ever use them!!)

But, anyway — they’re mine.

All righty. So I got nothing done yesterday at my desk. However. Today, I want to do a straight read-thru of The Guitar Hero Goes Home, to see how it reads from start to finish now. (Plus, it looks like M. Christian and Ralph Greco, Jr. are willing to blurb it and/or review it!!!)

Then I am going to toy around with a short flash fiction/memoir type piece for submission to an upcoming anthology. Then, get back to work, finally, on Thug Luckless: Welcome to P-Town.

So that’s my day!! (First, I’m gonna finish the laundry, though. So, you can see –life is just super exciting!)

All righty. Another gorgeous day here in Crazeysburg. I am gonna get at it. I hope you have a terrific Tuesday, wherever you are in the world. Thanks for visiting, gang. Today, I leave you with a Rock & Roll Hall of Fame video from 2012 — a tribute to George Harrison, that includes Tom Petty and Jeff Lynne in truly fine voice (two of the Traveling Wilbury’s, btw, which included George, Roy Orbison, and Bob Dylan); the tribute here also includes George’s son, Dhani. But hold out for Prince’s guitar solo, gang! It comes in at the 3:20 mark on the video and lasts about 3 minutes. It is truly an awesome guitar solo. Just so much love in it.

The whole piece is just really joyous! “While My Guitar Gently Weeps.”

Okay, so listen and enjoy. And have a great day. I love you guys. See ya.