Tag Archives: Girl in the Night: Erotic Love Letters to the Muse by Marilyn Jaye Lewis

We Have Nothing To Wear But Fear Itself!!

This is, of course, a play on Roosevelt’s famous advice to Americans during WWII: “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.”

And Roosevelt’s advice is indeed quite timely today.

What we know about the v*rus is that there is no p*n d*m *c. It’s fake. It’s manufactured to scare people, to bankrupt them if at all possible, and to remove their constitutional rights.

And all of the scientists and researchers who write papers or give announcements about the proof that this virus p*n d*m *c is fake, get blocked and censored here in the US by social media and mainstream media.

(If you are new to the blog, you can scroll through the past couple of weeks and get links to all of those papers and videos  in places where they have not been blocked.)

Yes. There are indeed a bazillion more people allegedly testing positive, allegedly all over the world. Although more and more people have stories of testing false positive (meaning they immediately test negative) and then only the positive test is reported. Even nurses are seeing it. And saying — in utter exhaustion — “what the fuck is with these crazy tests?”

And most importantly, there are not tons of people dying from the virus. They are dying from other stuff, and sometimes the virus is part of it.

There are at least 4 therapeutics that will cure the average person of the virus. The virus is basically the flu.  And even the CDC’s statistics here in the US do not bear out that this is a p*n d*m *c. It is a flu, and people who would be compromised by the flu are in danger of getting really sick from C* VID. But if you’re an average person, you have a 99.997% survival rate, even without therapeutics.  It’s a flu.

And of course, we now have 2 very effective vaccines ready to hit the market. With a third (Oxford in the UK) gaining in effectiveness.

But there is, of course, a worldwide fear that, along with getting the vaccine, people will have a chip introduced into their bodies that will make them track-able by whoever it is out there that is seriously trying to control us through fear and by trying to violate our rights to free speech and to assemble (also known as m* sks and l* ck d* wns).

I personally do not take vaccines. A lot of people don’t because they have become deregulated (you can’t sue the kind folks who make them if something goes horribly wrong…). But a lot of people still believe in vaccines. It eases their fears. And so they have the right to have access to them.

However, yesterday, I heard two horrifying things. One was from the UK — that even with the 95% effective Pfizer vaccine that the UK has already approved, people in the UK should be prepared to continue wearing m* sks “for years.”

Okay. So. Rather than believe that insanity, that fear-mongering and that depression shit; instead, ask yourself whose payroll  that guy is actually on, and if he isn’t being bribed, is he being blackmailed?

Those are the only two questions we should all be asking now. The only two. Because everyone knows — the dictators and tyrants especially (here in the US, they are also called by titles such as “Governor” and “Mayor”) — that this is not a p*n d*m *c, it is fake, otherwise they would be too frightened to constantly break their own m* sk and l*ck d*wn rules.

A case in point — as always — is out in Los Angeles. This short video made me cry yesterday. This poor woman! It is similar to the video I posted yesterday about the restaurant owner in Michigan.

The virus is really, really smart. It knows to infect only small businesses and not huge movie studio companies.

People, this has got to STOP. Actual lives are at stake. And not from any virus.

And here’s a quick follow-up on the Staten Island protest, where it details how in  Airstrip One, if you voted for Tr**p, your establishment is in l*ck d* wn. If you didn’t, you get to  stay open (because that darn virus knows who votes for whom…).

The other thing that I found horrifying yesterday was that there is a new proposal here in the US from Federal Democrats re: that stimulus bill (which tyrants and dictators created the need for, since Tr**p left it up to the States to decide how to “manage” the virus), that if you are willing to take the vaccine, you could get a $1500 stimulus check.

Yes. They’re going to pay people — bribe them with maybe some money to buy food or pay some rent — if they will take the vaccine??!! Otherwise, you don’t get the money.

It made me truly fear, for the first time — what ARE they going to try to administer along with that vaccine???

Why do they want to pay desperate people to take it??

And the always charming, endearing, selfless Mayor of Ch* c*go is intimating that she wants to make the vaccine mandatory in Ch* c*go… (unconstitutional, btw).

TWO QUESTIONS, that’s all. Just two fucking questions:  Whose payroll is that woman actually on, and if she isn’t being bribed, is she being blackmailed?

FOLLOW THE FUCKING $$$

Well, after I listened to the X*2 R* p*rt last night, and once I got to approximately the 33 minute point in the podcast (posted down below), the fake virus information got seriously alarming. So I did some research on which article he was talking about.

You can do it, too. The article is readily available but I strongly suggest using d* ck d* ck go.

The article is all about the 22 internationally-based scientists who are currently asserting that the R T * P C R test that was “developed” specifically to test for C* VID, was purposely developed to create an 80 -97% false positive:

[…]due to a non existent gold standard which would be the virus itself.

[…] At the heart of the controversy lies the fact that the creators of the most commonly used test, the R T-P C R, published instructions for how to test for S* RS C* V 2 “without having virus material available,” in their own words, relying instead on the Ch* n* se scientists’ genetic sequence published on the internet.

[…] Dr. C* rbett, a Ph.D., and retired RN elaborated: “There are 10 fatal errors in this Dr* sten test paper. Public Health England is a co-author on it. All the public health authorities across the EU have co-authored this paper. But here is the bottom line: There was no viral isolate to validate what they were doing. The P C R products of the amplification didn’t correspond to any viral isolate at that time. I call it ‘donut ring science.’ There is nothing at the center of it. It’s all about code, genetics, nothing to do with reality, or the actual person, the patient.

You have to read the article, gang. Please. It is not long. It is right here. And the scientific details of it will enrage you.

It also sites an article I posted a link to here several days ago, about the paper out of Wu h*n that studied over 9 million test cases and determined that:

Virus cultures were negative for all asymptomatic positive and repositive cases, indicating no “viable virus” in positive cases detected in this study.

If you live in Germany, you likely already know all about this fake P C R test that was created to generate false positives,  because there is a team of lawyers suing the Government there, as well as starting a Class-Action lawsuit here in the US and in Canada, and probably Australia, as well. But the German lawsuit maintains that 2 of the 3 main perpetrators of this fr*ud are from Germany. The 3rd perp being the head of the W H O…

(And Tr**p pulled the US out of the W H O. Go figure…)

Please make time to watch the video directly below. It has been around for a month already, but other videos that interview this lawyer have been blocked already on Y *u T * be.

He has successfully sued Deutschbank and VW  in the past , and won, so he is not just a small-time lawyer. He is working with three other lawyers — together they are suing Germany for perpetuating this fake p*n d* m*c.

He goes into details about the fake positive test, how it got started and by whom and why, and he identifies who the puppets are, but we still need law suits to find out who is really pulling the strings. Thankfully, lawyers all over the world are preparing lawsuits against their own governments now, as well, based on all this information that the mainstream media is trying hard to block from you.

And my guess is that, whoever is behind the virus fr*ud is also behind the US el*c t*on fr*ud.

FOLLOW THE FUCKING $$$

Also: LISTEN!! He explains it all again here — there is NOTHING to be afraid of! Except the fucking vaccine!!!!

https://soundcloud.com/ulf-bittner/dr-reiner-fuellmich-about-crimes-against-humanity-and-corona-fraud-part-2-2020-11-24

 

Nothing But Good News Around Here, Gang!!

Of course, that’s because I’m really good at finding the bright side to stuff when I really, really want to.

But, honestly, things in general seem to be getting more encouraging, in that more and more evidence of e*l*ction fr*ud is coming to light, along with the unbelievable amount of c*ns* rsh* p going on in this country; and more and more people are finding out that the virus is no longer a threat, and so more and more people are questioning what the actual reasoning could be behind forcing us to be muzzled (i.e., m* sks) and not gather in groups where we could easily share information and maybe get really, really angry

And so, in a sense, all of that is good.

And on the vaccine front — both the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines are on a fast track to getting approved and reaching the US public. And the Oxford vaccine has apparently reached a 90% effective rate in the UK.

The Oxford vaccine is the one funded by AstroZeneca, wherein a video went viral on F B re: the use of an aborted fetus in the vaccine.

This was a hoax, people — as I had tried to warn some of the women I knew who were falling for it.  I believe it was purposely aimed at Christians to keep them afraid of the vaccines, and therefore under the thumb of the powers that be who continue to want the masses to be controlled by the fake virus p*n d* m*c.

The Oxford vaccine is based on a chimpanzee adenovirus vaccine vector — an adenovirus that causes the common cold in chimpanzees…

So, um, that might not make you feel any happier. Still, we need to support these vaccines and get them to market as soon as they are deemed effective and safe. Having the vaccines is the only way to break the worldwide stranglehold they are placing on us with the fake p*n d* m*c.

And since there are now four therapeutics to cure the average person of the virus there’s no real need to take a vaccine unless you are still afraid of catching the virus.

Two videos below explain this very well. (X*2 R*p *rt and Tucker Carlson.)

And in v*t*r fr*ud-lated news, D*n B*ng*n*’s video goes into great detail about those urban v*te dumps that happened in the contested States.

So it won’t be much longer, gang, that the mainstream media will be able to keep insisting that it was a free and fair el*c t*on.

On other, sort of related fronts…

Nick Cave sent out a Red Hand Files yesterday addressing the BBC’s decision to censor words from the amazing Christmas song by The Pogues, “Fairytale of New York” (1987), on the radio.

A lot of non-Irish, non-NYC-Americans do not know this 33 year-old song, but it is a truly amazing song. And from Nick Cave’s response, I’m guessing the chief word the BBC wants to censor is the word “faggot.”

It’s kind of amazing to me to think that anyone, anywhere might accidentally hear that word in a legendary, 33-year-old song on the radio and have it completely destroy them, psychologically, for the rest of their lives. I mean, why else would you need to censor something?

In my experience, I’ve heard far worse things said about women in wildly popular rap songs and, rather than listen to them and have them scar me psychologically for the rest of my life, I simply turn them off.

You can read Nick Cave’s always eloquent response here, if you so choose. Among other things, he says:

“One of the many reasons this song is so loved is that, beyond almost any other song I can think of, it speaks with such profound compassion to the marginalised and the dispossessed.”

And Cave Things sent out a new item that would (seriously) make a great Christmas gift for me, so feel free to, you know, buy it and send it to me!!

It only costs £40 plus shipping!!!!! (I have been assured that in US dollars, this currently equals a mere $53.36, plus shipping….) (Yes, a book of Nick Cave quotes that you can also keep track of birthdays in. Yes, a sort of journal. Like the kind you can buy at the dollar store for, like, a dollar! But without any pre-printed Nick Cave quotes — you would have to add the quotes yourself to the dollar store version. So I think that a little over 50 x $1, plus shipping is a terrific price for a book with pre-printed NC quotes, which is allegedly handmade by monks in Denmark!!!!) (Honestly, buy it for me. I would love to have one!!)

Okay. So.

We did get snow during the night!!!! It looks kind of pretty!! It’s enough snow to be all over the lawns and the cars, but not enough to stay on the streets or sidewalks so there is no fear that I might have to break my “no-shoveling” rule!! Yay. So that’s pretty great.

And other than that, gang, there is just so much news going on right now that I have had little else on my mind. But I do have to start getting some more writing done here, because I have 3 short stories due in January, and I need to finish “Novitiate,” in order to turn in The Muse Revisited Vol. 4 to the publishers, and then get back to work on the new novel, Thug Luckless: Welcome to P-Town. (And then finish Girl in the Night: Erotic Love Letters to the Muse and turn that in, and then finish In the Shadow of Narcissa and self-publish it….)

So, you know. Lots to do here.

Okay, I’m going to get moving here. Thanks for visiting, gang! I love you guys. See ya!

If you have school-aged children, this video will not make you happy but please watch it anyway, it’s only about 7 minutes:

Both of these were awesome. Try to listen to the whole thing:

Terrific, as always!!

Autumn Has So Totally Arrived!

48 degrees Fahrenheit; the sun didn’t come up until 7am; the leaves are changing all over the neighborhood; I did indeed prune the hydrangea yesterday morning…. The flowery  summer wreaths are off the doors — replaced with the ones for fall. I put away the porch furniture.

Now all I have left to do is wait for summer to get here…

All righty! I won’t get far with that attitude, will I? No.

So instead of wishing that life were totally different, I’m going to spend the day ignoring the world beyond Crazeysburg and just doing non-writing work today:

  1. finish formatting 1954 Powder Blue Pickup and send it off to the publisher today.
  2. fix the formatting on the print edition for The Guitar Hero Goes Home. And then upload it to Amazon and hopefully stop tinkering with it and keep it there once and for all.
  3. set up the web site for Marilyn’s Room Books and get that up and running.

Even though I will no longer be self-publishing any of my new erotica (which I am extremely happy about!), I will still put up the Marilyn’s Room Books site because I want all of my available titles to be in one place, regardless of who the publishers are.

Plus, I’m still planning to self-publish In the Shadow of Narcissa, since it’s not erotic. And also bring out a new print edition of Twilight of the Immortal.

If I’m not mistaken, gang, Girl in the Night: Erotic Love Letters to the Muse is going to be brought out in print and eBooks by the new publisher. (So that means I will finish writing it before the end of the year.)

But before that, I’ll be sending them The Muse Revisited, Volume 4 — yay!! But instead of it being strictly a print edition of my selected erotica from 1994 -2012, it’s going to be print and digital, and focus on my previously published hardcore BDSM stories, along with a brand new one that I will write here at any moment!!

So all of it is really exciting to me, gang. It really, really is.

Meanwhile, though, I just now realized (because I’m not dressed yet) that I am still wearing my summer PJs to bed every night. I suppose I have to make an adjustment there. Drag out the fall PJs.

It’s funny, but for most of my adult life, I hated summer — because I lived in NYC and I have a very low tolerance for high humidity. It makes me super cranky and makes my brain feel like it’s going to explode. And NYC summers are usually just the worst.

But ever since I moved into this amazing old house in the middle of nowhere, all of that has changed (mostly because of that man I fell in love with that first summer I lived here who died; he changed summer for me forever) — honestly, honestly, honestly; I cannot emphasize how much in the middle of nowhere this house is, gang. When you get off the highway that leads to the 3-mile, winding back road that leads to my village, there is a really big freeway exit sign and it says “LOCAL ATTRACTIONS” and there is absolutely nothing written on that sign! I’m so serious. It’s just amazing. Nothing is on the sign. It’s just a big blank sign. NOTHING is here, folks!!

However, there used to be a famous homestead out here but it’s been closed down, so they removed the listing but left the huge sign. (In fact, if you were to google my village, you’d discover that it was once home to the world’s largest apple basket — but no more. I have yet to lay eyes on that basket (below) because that homestead was closed down! Yet google seems to think it’s emblematic of where I live!)

Worlds Largest Basket of Apples in Frazeysburg Ohio Stock Photo - Alamy

So I’m guessing that, once I’m dead, the one thing on that freeway exit sign will be my house that will, by then, be a famous museum… (Probably because I was insanely crazy, had a house full of dead spirits talking to me all the time and had too many undomesticated cats, but I would prefer it to be a standing homage to my splendid writing…)

Yeah, well…

Robert Jordan Quote: “If wishes were wings, pigs would fly.” (9 wallpapers) - Quotefancy

Okay, on that happy note… I refuse to talk about politics or the debate.  I refuse to even think about it. I will simply buy a gun, I mean, VOTE, and get on with my life.

And now I will even get dressed and get to work around here. (Just FYI, I never sit down at the desk to blog before getting dressed, so I’m not sure what’s up with me today.)

Anyway.

Have a nice Wednesday, wherever you are in the world, gang. Thanks for visiting. I leave you with probably my most favorite Buddy Holly song from my wee bonny girlhood (even though I pretty much liked all his songs), “Everyday”  (1958) — because I want to feel hopeful about love, like when I was young (yay!!), instead of depressed by its utter absence around here, now that I’m old (yay!!)! So enjoy. I love you guys. See ya!!!

Enjoy the 4th, Everybody!!

I can’t tarry on the blog today because I am almost finished with Letter #8 for Girl in the Night: Erotic love Letters to the Muse.

I got so much done on it yesterday, gang. I was at my desk for 11 hours — in 90 Fahrenheit degree heat, so it was a bit exhausting. But I’m happy with how it’s going. It’s going to be one of the longer chapters.

In the middle of all my progress yesterday, I got a text from Peitor wanting to know if I was available for a “quick” conference call with the line producer (they are both in LA).

ME: I'm in the middle of another project right now -- how long will it take?

HIM: 10, 15 minutes the most.

ME: OK. but no Zoom, I don't want to be on camera

Well, an hour and fifteen minutes later… it actually was a great conference call, though, and I’m so happy we had it. I just keep getting more and more excited about Abstract Absurdity Productions, gang. Even though it’s still going to take a while to get things up and running and filming. Just some really talented and enthusiastic people are getting on board and they are being so helpful. We are so blessed.

Meanwhile…

Loyal readers of this lofty blog will no doubt recall the 4th of July coffee mug!! It comes out once a year. (It doesn’t look it here, but it’s way too small; instead of 3 refills of morning coffee,  I get about 17!!) (Which also means going up & down the stairs 17 times…).

But there you have it — my first cup of 4th of July coffee out on my kitchen porch at 6am this morning. It’s yet another gorgeous (hot) day here in Crazeysburg.

All right. I’m gonna close now. I want to get back to work on Letter #8.

If you live Stateside, and still like being an American, I hope you enjoy the 4th.

If you live elsewhere, have a great Saturday!! And thanks for visiting!!

Since so many Americans seem to hate America right now, I will forego anything patriotic and leave you, instead, with “La Marseillaise”. Who can find fault with that, right?! (Especially that final verse!! Yay!! Just an all-out testament to tolerance.) (If you don’t know “La Marseillaise,” it’s the French national anthem. They actually taught us this in elementary school in Cleveland. Nowadays, I don’t think they even teach our own national anthem in our elementary schools, let alone the national anthem of any other country’s…)

Well, all righty!! Enough!!. I love you guys!! See ya!

Thank Goodness for Small Towns

And I really mean that, gang.

Last night was the night that Crazeysburg did our fireworks in honor of the upcoming July 4th weekend. And living here, I have to say, you’d never know there was any unrest in the world in any way at all.

I’m guessing that over at the ballpark, where they set off the fireworks, they asked people to at least observe social distancing. I didn’t need to go over there because I could see everything from my kitchen porch. So I don’t know for sure. But everywhere else, it just felt like a regular, low key and wonderful, small town 4th of July holiday getting underway.

And I have to say that the full moon that’s getting underway now, too, was so beautiful last night that it was hard for me to focus on the fireworks! The moon was peaking through the really tall,  100-yr old pine tree in my neighbor’s backyard. And gently rolling clouds were setting off the moon like some sort of painting. It was just lovely. (And down on the ground, the fireflies were once again putting on an amazing display of their own.)

The little kids across the street — and they are really little — would scream every time a firework boomed really loud. It was so cute. (Not so cute for my poor cats, though. When I came inside, all 7 of them were hiding in my bedroom closet! It was so funny to see them all come spilling out of there about an hour after the noise was finally all over.) (The door to my bedroom closet doesn’t close all the way, so that’s their favorite place to hide. It’s a good-sized closet and easily fits 7 cats.)

Anyway. I’m gonna scoot for now because I made really great progress on Letter #8 for Girl in the Night yesterday and I want to continue the momentum. I might stop back and post again later.

Enjoy your Friday, wherever you are in the world!! Paul Weller’s new album, On Sunset,  finally dropped today, after many delays due to the virus causing shortages in the stuff they use to press vinyl records. But it’s out now and it is a really lovely album, gang. I leave you with the song “Village,” which actually dropped back in May, but I still really love it. Especially the way my life feels these days.

Okay, thanks for visiting!! I love you guys. See ya!

“Village”

Here I am, ten stories high
Not a single cloud in my eye
Not a thing I’d change if I could
I’m happy here in my neighborhood

And all the things I’ve never been, I’ve
Never seen, I don’t care much
And all the things I’ve never done, I’ve
Never won, I don’t care much

I never knew what a world this was
‘Til I looked in my heart
And saw myself for what I am
Found a whole world in my hands

And all the things I’m supposed to be
And all the things that you want from me
I don’t know why, I don’t know why
I don’t know why, I don’t know why

I don’t need all the things you got
I just wanna be who I want
I don’t need all the things you hold
In high regard, they mean nothing at all

And all the things I’ve never been, I’ve
Never seen, I don’t care much
And all the things I’ve never done, I’ve
Never won, I don’t care much

This village is where I’m from
It’s one place that I call home
You wanna show me another side
But I’ve got heaven in my sights

I never knew what a world this was
‘Til I looked in my heart
And saw myself for what I am
Found a whole world in my hands

And all the things I’ve never been, I’ve
Never seen, I don’t care much
And all the things I’ve never done, I’ve
Never won, I don’t

©  2020 Paul Weller, Jan Kybert

Yes, It’s That Kind of Wonderful Morning!!

Here in Crazeysburg, the cocks — excuse me — the roosters are out and about, which is always exciting, and it is yet another incredibly beautiful day!!

(I’m kidding about the roosters, gang. They don’t actually allow you to keep chickens and such here in the Village of Crazeysburg itself. You have to take 14 steps out of the village if you want to do that.) (And I’m not kidding about that part.)

But that reminds me:  A million years ago, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers did a live radio broadcast out of Chicago, where they did just a killer (sexy) version of Howlin’ Wolf’s “Little Red Rooster”!

(This whole broadcast is actually really great.  It totally kicks A. I don’t think it’s on an actual album or CD, but there is an MP3 download of it that you can get everywhere.)

Okay!! So!!

Today’s kind of a big day for me. Today is my big foray into Granville, Ohio, to have dinner with Kevin (Director of Tell My Bones) (in some future make-believe land, that is. All theater in NYC is shut down until 2021. I’m guessing NYC will never get back to normal, at this rate.)

Anyway. Kevin and I are having dinner at the Granville Inn and I have not done anything social, let alone been to the inn, since March 14th. I’m not entirely sure that I remember how to behave in public, but we’ll find out. Plus, this will be the first time I will put on my eye make-up in 3 and 1/2 months. So weird.

But I’m excited!! And also nervous. Because life is just plain different now. I’m guessing that if I let go of believing in anything I ever knew before, I should do all right.

Yesterday, I was working on Girl in the Night, and I guess I’ve just been doing too much typing these last few days, because the bones in the tops of my hands started to really hurt. So I took one extra-strength Tylenol and within minutes, my hands felt great but I was so sleepy I couldn’t even sit at my desk anymore! I had forgotten that those darn pills make me sleepy.

So the bulk of the day was not entirely productive, although I did have a nice day, regardless. And the lawn guy came to cut the grass, so the weedsyard — is looking really spiffy.

And of course, by 9pm, I was quite perky and wide awake. And remained that way for a few hours, but I didn’t really feel like working at that point. So, after streaming another episode of Professor T., I just laid around on my bed in the dark — well, with the lights out. My bedroom is never actually dark because of the streetlights outside my window.

But I laid around on my bed in the dark, stared out the window at the truly beautiful night, watching the blinks of the fireflies wane, and I listened to Phoebe Bridgers’ new album, Punisher.

I Know the End Lyrics Phoebe Bridgers | Punisher - Genius-Lyrics

It’s kind of a depressing album, but it’s still beautiful and the lyrics are great. If I were closer to her age and not old enough to be her grandmother, I would likely relate to it a bit more, but I still really love her way with words. (Although the entire album makes me think of the song “Chasing Cars” by Snow Patrol. So I ended up playing that beautiful, non-depressing song over & over, and then finally fell to sleep.)

But back to listening to Phoebe Bridgers — I was thinking, once again, how incredible it is for young women nowadays to be able to make any kind of music they want to; to write any kind of songs they want to and have them sound however they want them to sound.  Because it definitely didn’t used  to be that way.

Plus there’s room now for so many more women musicians and songwriters and performers. They used to sign about one or two per genre, and then get behind them for about 2 albums, as long as they proved to be massive hits.  Of course, back then, there was so much more money at stake for the various music industry gatekeepers, and all that’s been thoroughly “disrupted” now by everyone wanting so much music for free (and I won’t get political today, I’ll just say, that Socialist tendencies are so great, gang; it helps make everybody equally poor).

However!!

I do genuinely think it’s so great that women in music nowadays have so much more freedom to express what they want to express, however they want to express it. And I think that’s just so beautiful.

And something else that is amazingly beautiful, is the Red Hand Files thing that Nick Cave sent out today. You don’t even have to know his music, or know the album Ghosteen, to be able to appreciate what he has to say about love today. You can read it here if you are so inclined.

On that note, gang, I’m going to get started here.  I’ll leave you with both the beautiful song “Punisher,” by Phoebe Bridgers, and the equally beautiful though very different song “Chasing Cars,” by Snow Patrol. Relax and enjoy!! (Or float off into the stratosphere is probably more like it!!) But either way, thanks for visiting! I love you guys! See ya!

“Punisher”

When the speed kicks in
I go to the store for nothing
And walk right by
The house where you lived with Snow White
I wonder if she ever thought
The storybook tiles on the roof were too much
But from the window, it’s not a bad show
If your favorite thing’s Dianetics or stucco

The drugstores are open all night
The only real reason I moved to the east side
I love a good place to hide in plain sight

What if I told you I feel like I know you
But we never met?

And here everyone knows you’re the way to my heart
Hear so many stories of you at the bar
Most times alone and some looking your worst
But never not sweet to the trust funds and punishers

Man, I wish that I could say the same
I swear I’m not angry, that’s just my face
A copycat killer with a chemical cut
Either I’m careless or I wanna get caught
Ooh, I’m not

What if I told you I feel like I know you
But we never met?
It’s for the best

I can’t open my mouth and forget how to talk
‘Cause even if I could, wouldn’t know where to start
Wouldn’t know when to stop

© 2020  Phoebe Bridgers

Another Delightful Morning in Crazeysburg!!

So far, it’s been just an amazing summer.  The weather, I mean. And today is going to be yet another gorgeous day!

Before I forget, I did post another chapter yesterday on the In the Shadow of Narcissa website. This one is titled “I See God Everywhere.”

Also, yesterday — remember, a few days ago, I posted that photo of my new Val Kilmer coffee mug, with the Doc Holliday movie quote? I had also posted that photo on my Instagram feed and apparently Val Kilmer saw it, because he sent it out on his own Instagram feed yesterday. (The limited edition mugs are only available until tomorrow — July 1st.)

Well, that was a totally unexpected little thrill, however, it sent quite a number of scammers to my Instagram feed yesterday. Now that I’ve made my account public, anyone can follow me. But I patiently go through every single follower and block anyone that seems like a scammer, and they were coming all day yesterday.

And it was fun to have my picture posted there, too — the cup is sitting on the cafe table out on my kitchen porch:

 

 

 

 

My trip to town yesterday was splendid! I have never seen the Honda dealership so empty. I think there were maybe 5 people sitting in the waiting room (myself, included).  Most people wearing masks, but not everybody. But the seats were all placed 6-feet apart.

I kind of liked it, actually. Usually, it’s a mob scene in the Honda waiting room! And it can take forever for them to finish your car. I was there less than 30 minutes, and they had changed the oil, topped the fluids, rotated the tires, and even washed the car.  So, you know, one of the sort of “nice” things about the virus, I guess.

Tomorrow evening, Kevin (the director of my play) and I are finally going to go have dinner at the Granville Inn. I have missed that place so much, but I’ve had my trepidations about going there while it was easing out of lockdown because everyone has to wear masks. And I’m sort of afraid to see it like that.

Sunday Brunch - Review of The Granville Inn, Granville, OH ...
Those non-mask days of yesteryear…

But, tomorrow, we’re going! I’ve been hearing that it’s crazy busy there — meaning, busy while remaining at 50% capacity. So we’ll see. I haven’t been there since St. Patrick’s weekend.

Then on Thursday, I have a phone conference with my accountant in NYC, because Peitor and I have to formally set up Abstract Absurdity Productions. I always love talking to my accountant because he is always a straight shooter and I get off the phone sort of in renewed & devastating shock over just how fucking much every single fucking business-related thing costs.

Still. It’s better to know than to be surprised when you can least afford it.

And then sometime later this week, Peitor and I have a conference call with the line producer in LA to see just how we might be able to come up with a budget that doesn’t undersell our film but that doesn’t make all of us fall out of our chairs, either!!

Other than that, life is pretty much quiet around here. I’m going to be tackling Letter #8 again for Girl in the Night. I’m hoping that the unexpected detour into In the Shadow of Narcissa will help Letter #8 seem fresh & brand new today!! I do love the 3 and 1/2 pages I’ve written (and re-written and re-written) so far, but I really, really would like it to finally finish itself, you know? It’s dragging on forever.

So, on that note, I will take my leave, gang! I hope you have a terrific Tuesday, wherever you are in the world!! Thanks for visiting.  I leave you with one of my favorite songs from my wee bonny girlhood (mentioned in my new chapter for In the Shadow of Narcissa — I absolutely loved this song when I was little, gang, although a bunch of children were singing the version I knew back then): “This Land is Your Land” by the late, great Woody Guthrie.

All righty!! Enjoy. I love you guys. Have a great day. See ya!!

Gotta Love Summer, Gang!!

It’s not terribly hot here today, but we’re going to have nothing but high humidity and rain and thunderstorms all day and on into the night.

The good news (although I actually like rain and thunderstorms), but the true good news is that the problem I was having with my lungs after the virus — catching my breath during days of high humidity — that residual effect from the virus is almost completely gone.

So, apparently, I won’t have that problem for the rest of my life, as I was starting to fear. So that is some truly good news.

I don’t actually have a  whole lot to blog about today, mostly I am focused on my writing projects and the (ever-shrinking!!) To-Do list for Abstract Absurdity Productions.

I might actually try my hand at another chapter for In the Shadow of Narcissa. However, as I’ve stated here on the blog before, I’m not sure if I will keep posting the new chapters to the website or not. I am seeing sings (also signs!!) that it is being downloaded in foreign lands, probably by someone gearing up to pirate it.  In fact, they are probably annoyed that it’s taking me so long to finish the darn book!!!

I do apologize — my brain has not been working properly since something like early March…

Okay.

I checked out the new Tom Petty video yesterday — the one that is a sample of the upcoming Wildflowers Pt. 2 collection that is at long last in the works. (It’s called something else, though, that’s not the official title.) As I said yesterday, the “new song” that dropped yesterday, is a homemade demo he made of the song “You Don’t Know How it Feels” — a hit from his Wildflower solo album (1994).

I have to say that Tom Petty’s homemade 8-track demos (made when he was extremely famous and very rich) sound remarkably better than any 8-track homemade demos I ever made!!

The demo is okay, but the video, gang — I thought it was GREAT. It was created and directed by Ben “Blaze” Brooks and Aaron Hymes. And I just loved it. And I think that Tom Petty himself would have loved it. It’s posted below for today’s listening music!!

BTW, if you weren’t aware — Tom Petty was also an artist. In fact, he went to art school after high school but was quickly expelled for not attending classes because (according to his biography) he was too busy doing a bunch of, well,  sort of intimate stuff with some girl!!  Anyway — he drew, he painted. He was very talented in that way, too. So I think he would have loved the video these guys made because it relies on some of the iconic artwork Tom Petty did during his career.

Okay, on that note, I really gotta scoot!! But thanks for visiting, gang. I hope you enjoy your Saturday, wherever you are in the world!! I love you guys. See ya!

Almost Time to Harvest those Peaches!!

Can you believe it’s already late June?? Peaches are beginning to get ripe?  A moment ago, it was February…

I have, like, a hard time getting my mind around that. And even though we’re mostly out of lock down around here, and Kevin (the director of my play, Tell My Bones — whenever that manages to get off the ground again, sometime in 2021); well, he and I keep saying we’re going to meet for dinner at the Granville Inn — I keep sort of dragging my feet because I’m not sure I want to see that beloved place with everyone wearing masks.

But of course, if everyone thinks that way, then nothing will get back to normal.

Anyway. It’s late June and I still halfway feel like I’m still in lockdown mode. But part of that is okay because the evenings around here have just been splendid.

By late afternoon, I finally was able to pull myself out of what was happening to me yesterday, gang, but it got really really bad before I was able to do that.

I don’t know why, but sometimes, my triggers get hit so hard (by key people in my life) that the spiraling down just takes over and happens so fast. I get like a zombie; it’s so awful. At its worst point, I went out and took a walk, but I had to absolutely force myself.

I walked into the dollar store and bought vitamins that I didn’t even really need — clearly not someone hell bent on self-destruction, right?  Just trying to interact with reality. And with the nice lady behind the checkout counter. She smiled and said, “How are you today?” And I was forced to be fake and say, “I’m good. How are you?” But it helps. It really does — hearing my voice say that. It’s at least something that’s not telling me to die.

Then on my way back home, I ran into two older men (strangers) from the senior living complex, who were sitting on the bench in the town square (that’s really a triangle). One of them was old enough to need a walker, but both of them were just so friendly and so nice. They forced me to remember for a few moments that life is beautiful. That I have every right to live.

Just two of the angels who came to my assistance yesterday. (I rely on some truly beautiful unknown angels; I really do.)

This thing that happens in my brain has nothing to do with how I actually feel about myself here & now. It’s an old program, an old voice, that gets triggered. Usually, I can override it all by myself. But yesterday was one of the scarier days.

You know, back when Tom Petty managed to become a heroin addict at age 50, it dawned on me that it was never too late to become a heroin addict. Or when all those famous movie stars who became alcoholics in their later years,  wound up drinking themselves to death, it served to remind me that it was never too late to become an incurable alcoholic. And then, when one of my colleagues — a very well-known erotic photographer — jumped to his death from his balcony in San Francisco a couple years ago, when he was in his late 70s… It’s just that horrible reminder that I never know what my brain is likely to start telling me if I’m not incredibly vigilant.

I did manage to get some work done — focusing on “tasks” kept my mind from doing that horrible shit. At one point, though, I was on Instagram, looking up the suicide hashtag and interestingly enough, when you enter that hashtag, a little gatekeeper comes up with a link to “Get Help.”

That was actually enough to shake me out of my tunnel vision — should I get help? — but I proceeded to the hashtag anyway. To see what people who think about suicide had posted there. But then it actually led me to some Anne Sexton poems, so I decided to follow the Anne Sexton hashtag instead, and that got me to a much better place. And eventually, it got me right back to my desk.

So, I was able to get some work done on Girl in the Night , and also tackle a lot of the stuff on my To-Do list for Abstract Absurdity Productions. That kind of focusing helped turned down the voice in my head a lot.

And then somebody I care about so much came through so unexpectedly, in spades, yesterday, and I was able to completely break the spiral.

Speaking of Tom Petty — the battling Petty clan seems to be coming to some sort of agreement to move forward on those early Wildflower tracks that were never released. And today, at TomPetty.com, the first song from that batch will be debuted. An 8-track version of his song “You Don’t Know How It Feels.”

I’m not sure I need to hear an 8-track version of that specific song, but I am really eager to hear that Wildflowers Part 2 collection, whenever it comes out. (Plenty of unreleased songs that he actually wanted released are supposed to be on it.)

I don’t know if you tuned into the NASA YouTube channel to watch the guys go off on their space walk this morning — at one point, nearly 77,000 viewers were streaming it. Wow, they have to wear so much stuff to go out for a walk in space. But it was still nice to see that Russians and Americans can thrive together way the heck out in outer space!! (If you’re too young to remember the original “space race” — the USA and the USSR couldn’t have been less accommodating of each other back then. To put it extremely mildly.)

Well, all righty. I guess I will get to work here on this beautiful day. Today, I know it’s Friday!! I have all my faculties in working order here today. So I hope you are gearing up for a nice weekend, wherever you are in the world. Thanks for visiting, gang.

Today, I will leave you with Neil Diamond yet again, but a much more uplifting song than yesterday’s (which was also a favorite of mine, even though it was sad). This one today is one that I post here a lot. But it is such a great song! “Sweet Caroline.” Who can ever get tired of it?? And this is such a great version of it. Okay. Enjoy, gang. I love you guys. See ya!

Yay!! Let’s Talk about Film Budgets!!

Well, gang! Today is mostly going to be about Abstract Absurdity Productions work, now that the budget proposal has come in and we need to start hiring key people, bringing other people onboard.

Plus, I am actually planning on getting back to work on that website, if you can imagine that!! I have already been in touch with a “happiness engineer” here at WordPress so that I can quit floundering and, honestly, I really am going to finish that darn site as soon as I can.

Which doesn’t mean that I’m going to set aside Letter #8 for Girl in the Night. It just means that I am going to make more of an effort to get that website finished, because, of course, now we need it.

(And I also have that new film editing software that I have still not figured out how to use and I need to know how to use it for the web site content. However, to be fair, I’ve only been quarantined here at home for over 3 months now, so God knows, there was absolutely no time to sit around, learning new software…)

Pin by Leslea Parrish on Mid-Century: Family & Home Illustrations ...
Hard at work during the entire pandemic…

Seriously, though, I am really excited with Abstract Absurdity Productions’ recent developments and I will be eager to update you all as soon as I can.

Meanwhile, Nick Cave sent out a Red Hand Files letter-thing today, about the lack of politics in his songwriting style. As usual, it was very well stated and was very interesting. You can read it here, if you so choose.

Yesterday (June 22nd) was Kris Kristofferson’s 86th birthday. If you do not know who he is, he was an amazingly intelligent Country songwriter, who wrote some songs that became monster hits for Country & Western singers in the early-to-mid 1970s, primarily. He also put out his own albums with his own songs on them, and they were popular, but his songs tended to become just huge hits for other singers.

One of my favorite albums of his came out in 1971, and it was titled, The Silver-Tongued Devil & I.

The Silver Tongued Devil and I - Wikipedia

The songwriting on that album was very inspirational to me as a budding singer-songwriter throughout the 1970s. I played that record a lot. It’s not traditional “Country & Western,” the lyrics run much deeper. He’s more like the songwriters that were coming out of Los Angels in the late 1960s — a sort of Country Rock/Folk mentality. But Kristofferson was definitely embraced big-time in Nashville. (Although Janis Joplin had a huge rock/blues hit with his song “Me & Bobby McGee” before she died, and she was San Francisco-based.)

Some of his big hits for other singers include “Sunday Morning Coming Down” — Johnny Cash. “Help Me Make it through the Night” — every Country music singer imaginable. “For the Good Times” — Elvis Presley, along with many other singers. The list really just goes on forever.

It’s impossible to choose what would be my favorite song off that album because all of them are exceptionally well written, but I will leave you today with at least one of my favorites — this one was a hit on AM radio, at least it was in the part of Ohio where I lived back then: “Loving Her Was Easier (Than Anything I’ll Ever Do Again)”.

I cannot imagine that he is 86 years old now, but I hope his birthday was happy.

And on that note, I’m gonna get some more coffee here and get the day underway. Have a terrific Tuesday, wherever you are in the world. Thanks for visiting, gang! I love you guys. See ya!

“Loving Her Was Easier (Than Anything I’ll Ever Do Again)”

I have seen the morning burning golden on the mountain in the skies
Aching with the feeling of the freedom of an eagle when she flies
Turning on the world the way she smiled upon my soul as I lay dying
Healing as the colors in the sunshine and the shadows of her eyes

Waking in the morning to the feeling of her fingers on my skin
Wiping out the traces of the people and the places that I’ve been
Teaching me that yesterday was something that I’d never thought of trying
Talking of tomorrow and the money love and time we had to spend
Loving her was easier than anything I’ll ever do again

Coming close together with a feeling that I’ve never known before in my time
She ain’t ashamed to be a woman or afraid to be a friend
I don’t know the answer to the easy way she opened every door in my mind
But dreaming was as easy as believing it was never gonna end
And loving her was easier than anything I’ll ever do again

© 1971 Kris Kristofferson