All posts by marilyn jaye lewis

writer, editor, publisher, thinker -- all-around joyful gal!

All Righty! We’re Gonna Try Not To Look at Porn Here Today!!

It wasn’t my fault, actually. It was Valerie’s.

I was just killing time, waiting for her phone call because she texted me early yesterday morning, to say she had finished the layout for the cover design of The Guitar Hero Goes Home and would send it over momentarily and then call me to discuss it…

I didn’t want to get too involved with anything important because I would only get interrupted when her phone call came. So, of course, I was looking at even more Hentai 3D Monster Porn. (See my posts from the last 2 or 3 days…) (To be fair, there is a whole lot of that stuff, gang, and the deeper you dig into it, the more your mind just gets totally blown.)

But, actually — in all seriousness– part of it is research, although I’m not going to say for what.

Anyway. Hours were flying by. Literally. Hours. Monster Porn-filled hours.

I went out to the yard and took care of all the flowers. I had lunch. I looked at the mail. Paid some bills. Looked at the phone for perhaps a text from Valerie. An update of sorts. Nothing.

So I looked at more monster porn. And gradually it became less about “research” and more about: holy shit, this stuff is fucking insane. (I actually totally love 3D hentai, and hentai monster porn is my all-out favorite, mostly because the minds that create this stuff astound me.)

Eventually, I got a text from Valerie, saying that the phone call wasn’t gonna happen (oh really?) and then I called my dad. I had dinner. I streamed some more of Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries (I’m back to season 1 because I’m done with all the newer seasons now and don’t want to let it go, and have discovered that I don’t recall any of the episodes from season 1 because it was 8 years ago, so it’s once again, brand new to me).

And then, the evening was so fucking lovely — just the most amazing evening for mid-August. So I sat at the kitchen table, gave one happy eye to Miss Fisher and the other deeply happy eye to my phone, where upon I began looking at even more Hentai 3D Monster Porn and was finally forced to admit to myself that the screen was way too small on the phone…

So I closed down the house for the night, even though it was only 7:30pm and even though the evening was so fucking lovely, and I went back upstairs to the 14-inch-screen on the  laptop and spent the rest of the night in my room.

By the time I was finally indescribably supersaturated with monster porn, it was pitch dark outside. Jesus, you know?? I could not believe myself. Even though, technically, I did do other things throughout the day yesterday, I was basically looking at monster porn for 12 hours.

(And it was actually really fun.)

However. You know. You don’t want to have a day like that twice in a row. You might start to feel like a slacker.

So.

There is a very good chance Valerie is calling me this afternoon, but I’m not going to plan on it. I’m going to just get to work here. I know that if she doesn’t call me today, she will call tomorrow, so I’m going to focus on Thug Luckless: Welcome to P-Town and just see how the day unfolds.

I can’t tell you how beautiful it is again here today, gang. Just another truly stunning day.  My new vacuum cleaner hasn’t arrived yet, but I’m actually really excited about getting it. I love getting new vacuum cleaners.  And even though I vacuumed the whole house on Sunday (before the old vacuum cleaner exploded), the house already needs to be vacuumed again. (The joys of 7 strictly indoor cats…) So I can’t wait!! I hope it arrives today.

Meanwhile…

The Nick Cave Instagram feed announced this morning that this upcoming weekend is when they will show all those videos that fans have sent in of themselves and/or their bands, doing covers of songs by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds. Apparently, every entry will play on the Bad Seed TeeVee channel. So tune-in and watch everybody!! And then one winner will be selected.

(And the lucky winner will not win £200 wallpaper from cavethings.com…)

Load image into Gallery viewer, Hyatt Girls Wallpaper
Hyatt Girls wallpaper

(I really love that wallpaper but I cannot wrap my mind around the £200 price tag right now.  Even though I don’t have a room in this house wherein I could actually hang that wallpaper, still.  You know. I’d like to buy it and maybe save it for the next house, or my room in the nursing home. At least, I’d be assured to get visitors in my old age…)

Well, all right. I’m gonna get started here today. For real, this time. Have a great Wednesday, wherever you are in the world!! Thanks for visiting, gang. I leave you with a dirty song about a man in love with another man’s truck….(or is it?? You decide!!). The Traveling Wilburys’ “Dirty World” from the 1988 album,The Traveling Wilburys, Vol. 1. Okay! Enjoy, gang. I love you guys. See ya!

“Dirty World”

He loves your sexy body, he loves your dirty mind
He loves when you hold him, grab him from behind
Oh baby, you’re such a pretty thing
I can’t wait to introduce you to the other members of my gang

You don’t need no wax job, you’re smooth enough for me
If you need your oil changed I’ll do it for you free
Oh baby, the pleasure would be all mine
If you let me drive your pickup truck and park it where the sun don’t shine

Every time he touches you his hair stands up on end
His legs begin to quiver and his mind begins to bend
Oh baby, you’re such a tasty treat
But I’m under doctor’s orders, I’m afraid to overeat

He loves your sense of humor, your disposition too
There’s absolutely nothing that he don’t love about you
Oh baby, I’m on my hands and knees
Life would be so simple if I only had you to please

Oh baby, turn around and say goodbye
You go to the airport now and I’m going home to cry
He loves your…

Electric dumplings
Red bell peppers
Fuel injection
Service charge
Five-speed gearbox
Long endurance
Quest for junk food
Big refrigerator
Trembling Wilbury
Marble earrings
Porky curtains
Power steering
Bottled water
Parts and service

Dirty world, a dirty world, it’s a fucking dirty world

© 1988 – George Harrison, Tom Petty, Bob Dylan, Jeff Lynne,  Roy Orbison

Happy Tuesday to All You Groovy Cats & Kittens!!

Another splendid day here in Crazeysburg. I hope you’ve got similar weather wherever you are in the world.

If you follow zodiac-celestial things, you are likely aware that we have a killer new moon going on right now. And by “killer” I only mean that it’s one of those new moons that cause emotional chaos and are putting most people on edge.

So if you’re feeling a little crazy and don’t know why — by Thursday , everything should work itself out quite nicely.

I hope.

My world is actually kind of fine.  The trip into town yesterday was effortless. I managed to get there and back and do the marketing in a little over an hour, which means I must have been speeding in both directions, because it’s not really possible to get to town and back, let alone also do the marketing in less than an hour and a half if you’re going the speed limit…

I got a wonderful little text from my ex-husband in NYC last evening. Well, he’s not in NYC right now. He and one of his brothers rented a pick-up truck and took a drive out West. And yesterday, they reached Montana — West Yellowstone, to be exact, where my friend Kevin lives from May to October. (This is the Kevin who keeps his 1965 VW camper van in my barn all summer). I had told Wayne to look up Kevin when they got to West Yellowstone.

Well, lo & behold, the text came last evening with photos of Wayne (my ex) and Kevin — both smiling happily!!!! It was so cool. And guess what was in the background of one of the photos? Kevin’s other 1965 vintage VW camper van!! Only that one was sky blue and the one Kevin keeps here is dark green.

1965 VW Split Screen 11 Window Camper Van – Left Hand Drive ...
This is not Kevin’s but his camper in Montana looks like this.

It was just so nice to see them together in the photos. And so weird to think the two of them have now met — no one who I have become friends or acquaintances with since 2003 has ever met Wayne. It’s so odd that the one and only person who now has met him would be Kevin. In Montana, no less. Thousands of miles from here.

My chat yesterday with the other Kevin — the man who is directing my play — was just so great, gang. I am so excited about this staged reading getting underway. And some early feedback I am getting from actors and tech people regarding the actual play (meaning they read the script), is kind of blowing me away.  It means so much to me that they are able to relate to what I’ve written about Helen LaFrance’s life.

As you are likely aware, here in America, a faction of the black entertainment community has come down really hard on white people telling the stories of black lives. Which is why the original reading that was set to happen in June came to a screeching halt during the nationwide riots. And also why I was beginning to fear my play would never be produced in the US and would have to be produced in another country.

Well, I can’t tell you how happy the early feedback is making me feel (from black actors telling the director).  I’m still trying to keep a low profile, though, in all of this because I want the play to speak for itself, and for the attention to be on Helen’s art and life, not on whoever wrote the play.

But I am indeed very quietly excited out here in the middle of Nowhere, Ohio. I have been working on this project for 8 years now.

By the way, we have decided to make the reading entirely free to stream, and we’ll likely keep it free for at least a couple of weeks after the initial event, and then make it password protected after that. But please try to watch it!! Since it won’t happen until Sunday evening, November 8th, there is plenty of time for me to constantly remind you!!

(It will stream on YouTube, here on this blog, on the Tell My Bones web site and Facebook page, and on a number of other entertainment-based web sites.)

Well, speaking of web sites that are “entertainment” based, I was streaming more hentai 3D monster porn yesterday when I unfortunately stumbled upon what looked like a front for really horrible porn that uses young Asian women who are most probably victims of human sex trafficking.

It absolutely turned my stomach. If you have had enough experience with producers of  professional porn, the difference in “regular” porn — even BDSM porn — and porn that exploits slavery and uses actual slaves against their will is often glaringly obvious: the women (or children) look terrified, demoralized, drugged and/or half-dead.

I reported the company on the National Human Trafficking website. It’s hard to say if anything can come from it — the “production” company is based in Los Angeles, but the videos themselves were from Asia.

You know, if you live in the US, and you think any type of human trafficking is going on — porn, prostitution, or labor-related– you can easily report it anonymously, through sending a message or live chat on their website (humantraffickinghotline.org/), calling them 1-888-373-7888 ( TTY: 711) or texting them, 233733.

That stuff just makes me so sick. I just can’t tell you.

On another topic…

Nick Cave sent out a Red Hand File today that was one of those really eloquent ones.  Be sure to set aside plenty of time to read it and take in the full scope of it. I am, of course, just kidding. It’s one of those replies that is only one word. But, still — it was a really good word. You can read it here.

Well, all righty!! That’s it for today, gang. Depending on whether or not I hear from Valerie today, I’m either working on the finishing touches for the publication of The Guitar Hero Goes Home, or I’m working on some new stuff for Thug Luckless: Welcome to P-Town.

And in the middle of all of it, I eagerly await the arrival of my new vacuum cleaner!!

So, have a terrific Tuesday, wherever you are in the world. Thanks for visiting. I leave you with my breakfast-listening music from this morning — “Right Now I’m A-Roaming”, 1997, Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds. (It’s come out on a  few things, but I know it from their 2005 collection B-Sides & Rarities.) I’ve posted it here a couple of times before, but here it is again! So, enjoy. I love you guys. See ya!

“Right Now I’m A-roaming”

When I get home, I’m gunna clean up my house
When I get home, I’m gunna kick out that mouse
When I get home, I’m gunna put things in order
but right now, right right now, right now I’m a-roaming

When I get home, I’m gunna make that call
When I get home, I’m gunna talk it through
When I get home, I’m gunna straighten it out
but right now, right now, right now I’m a-roaming

When I get home, I’m gunna give up the booze
When I get home, I’m gunna get me some food
When I get home, I’m gunna quit them drugs
but right now, right now, right now I’m a-roaming

When I get home, I’m gunna call my mother
When I get home, I’m gunna cook her some dinner
When I get home, I’m gunna invite my brothers
but right now, right right now, right now I’m a-roaming

When I get home, I’m gunna see my little boy
When I get home, I’m buy him a little toy
When I get home, he’s gunna jump for joy
but right now, right right now, right now I’m a-roaming

When I get home, I’m gunna unpack my bags
When I get home, I’m gunna waash these dirty rags
When I get home, I’m gunna pack ’em up again
but I’m gunna go, I’m gunna go, I’m gunna go right back roaming.

© – 1997 Martyn Casey, Mick Harvey, Conway Savage, Thomas Wydler, Nick Cave

Yesterday Was Wonder-Filled!

Okay, well, sorry I didn’t post here yesterday. But I did, indeed, have just a splendid little day.

I started out thinking I was going to post here, as I usually do, but then I got on the treadmill and made the mistake of streaming another episode from Season 3 of Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries while on the treadmill, and had so much fun that from that moment forward, my entire day went off onto its own little primrose path.

I split the day between streaming even more episodes from Season 3 of Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries, and streaming many happy hours of hentai 3D monster porn (do not watch those videos if you have an issue with questionable consent — and if you do, consider yourself forewarned). (In a big way.)

And then I spent some time with my many flowers — it was just a stunningly perfect day yesterday. Sunny, warm, but not too hot. And I also cleaned the house a little bit.

And here’s a great thing: I had to order a new vacuum cleaner!!  I knew my other one was getting ready to bite the dust, as it were.  Not just too many years of cat hair but also cat litter, which I think takes a really heavy toll on a vacuum cleaner.

Anyway, I used mine yesterday until the very last second, when the motor got really loud and I could start smelling smoke… But I was still able to vacuum the whole house except for the stairs. So any available, perhaps somewhat “disposable” income that could have been used for buying something really cool at Nick Cave’s cavethings.com went instead toward buying an exciting new vacuum cleaner…

Oh well. But be sure to check that cavethings.com  link there because new items are coming soon!! (I, personally, am still holding out for the collection of tiles and I am hoping they won’t cost £300, but I’m not really holding my breath…)

Load image into Gallery viewer, THE ‘DREAD’ TILESWell, gang, the plans for the online staged reading of my play Tell My Bones get more and more exciting. I believe we have a firm date for the pre-recorded “live” stream: Sunday evening (Eastern Time, but I don’t know the exact time yet) November 8th. With rehearsals beginning in October.

I have a phone call with the director here in a few minutes that will update me on all the latest plans and I just can’t tell you how excited I am that so many talented people are getting onboard.

Okay, well it is Monday, which means that, once the phone call is over, I drive into town to get the groceries, and then once I get back home, I plan to finish reading Whatever Comes My Way: Travels in the Netherlands by my friend, Roger Gaess. And once that is done, I start reading a new (as yet unpublished) novel by another good friend, Mark Pritchard, who lives out in San Francisco. So, even while I didn’t actually do any work whatsoever yesterday, my daily calendar of things to focus on is really continuing to help me stay on top of all this stuff I need/want to do.

All righty, gang. I’m going to close this and get ready for my phone call. Yesterday, was the 43rd anniversary of the death of the King. Yes — Elvis Preseley. I found out on Instagram yesterday that the last song Elvis ever sang (at home on his piano) was “Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain” (a Country & Western standard, written by Fred Rose). So I’m leaving you with that today. Thanks for visiting, gang!! I hope you have a great Monday, wherever you are in this beautiful world. I love you guys. See ya.

“Blue Eyes Crying In The Rain”

In the twilight glow I see her
Blue eyes cryin’ in the rain
When we kissed goodbye and parted
I knew we’d never meet again

Love is like a dyin’ ember
Only memories remain
Through the ages I’ll remember
Blue eyes cryin’ in the rain

Some day when we meet up yonder
We’ll stroll hand in hand again
In a land that knows no partin’
Blue eyes cryin’ in the rain

© 1947 Fred Rose

All the Joys of Getting There!!

Yes, yes, yes!! I am almost done with the manuscript side of things; now just waiting for Valerie to finish up the cover art layout. Then I have to run a test print of the book, and THEN …

The Guitar Hero Goes Home will get published. Finally. Yay!!

And then I can focus on finishing up the other 4 (FOUR!!!) books that are in one or another stages of progress around here.

And then, at some point in the not-yet-foreseeable future, I’m going to finish writing Down to the Meadows of Sleep, but that novel is way on the back burner for now. Even though I  love it. But it is a magic realism murder mystery, and in order to make it truly work, I need to give it 110% of my attention. And right now, I have about .006% of attention to give anything on any given day.

Okay!! Don’t get jealous or anything, but here are my current reading materials!! Combined, they come to about 1000 pages of dry boring informative reading!!

These slim pamphlets were recommended by the entertainment attorneys who taught that recent webinar I took on equity financing vs. debt financing for securing film funding, etc., regarding Abstract Absurdity Productions.

You can’t tell from the angle of this photo, but both books are, well — not slender at all.

(I hope this doesn’t disappoint you, or anything, but I actually do love reading books like this. So I’m looking forward to tackling them.)

Okay, onward to other topics!!

I don’t know if you’re into Russell Brand or not, but he has a channel on YouTube and on Instagram where basically he just gives his opinion on things, and I actually really enjoy watching it. I guess because I almost always agree with him — funny how easy it is to enjoy people you agree with!

His current installment is about the WAP video with Cardi B. and Megan Thee Stallion. I’ve posted the Russell Brand video down below today.

If you haven’t seen the WAP video, it’s gotten some people really upset — calling it porn and saying it’s sending women’s empowerment back one million years, etc.

It’s not a type of music I enjoy listening to– regardless of the gender identification of whoever’s singing it– and being a hardcore fan of hardcore porn, I’d rather just watch (hardcore) porn.

But to me, the WAP video is just plain old commercialism with an emphasis on Capitalist extremism. It isn’t even art.  I look at a video like that, and I don’t really see the reason to get so upset. All they want is for your testosterone to hit your wallet somehow — and preferably as quickly as possible. That’s it. You know, stop looking if it’s bothering you.

For me, the only way that video would upset me is if I was being, for some reason, forced to watch it rather than being allowed to watch a million other things on Pornhub. Then I’d be super upset. But I did indeed like Russell Brand’s take on it. (I think I’m way more of a Capitalist than he is, but still, I agreed with him.)

All right! So on to the very best news imaginable — I hope it’s not too soon to say this!! But this fall (somewhere around late September to mid-October) a theater production company based in Harlem will be producing a live stream staged reading of my play, Tell My Bones. Finally!!!!!!

I am so excited, gang, I cannot even tell you!! The production company is Harlem Shakespeare Festival (aka Take Wing and Soar Productions). They primarily fund all-black productions of Shakespeare and other classics, but they are producing a reading of my play under their auspices, and the woman who runs the company will be reading the role of Helen LaFrance (Sandra decided a few months back that she  wanted to read the role of Wanda — the character that has the new (old) song about lynchings, which left the Helen role wide-open and available for somebody awesome).

I am just so excited. I will keep you posted. And I hope you’ll buy a ticket to watch the streaming event, if it streams in the country you live in.

Okay. I guess I better scoot and get back to work on the manuscript. I should have it totally completed today. I hope you enjoy your Saturday, wherever you are in the world. Thanks for visiting, gang!! I love you guys. See ya.

Well, Sorry I’m So Late!!

I started off the morning going right into working on getting the manuscript ready for publication (The Guitar Hero Goes Home).

Getting very, very close, gang!! Finally! Spent quite a bit of time on the phone yesterday with Valerie, so the cover design is also almost done.

Late yesterday afternoon, when I was closing up shop for the day, two official reviews for the novel came in and I was just so happy, gang. Since the novel is experimental fiction, I know it is not going to appeal to everyone. And since it’s not erotic fiction, I’m guessing it will be a tricky sell to most of my regular readers.

So far, though, the feedback I’m getting from the advance readers who are male has been really, really good. I have gotten no feedback from any female readers yet. So I guess we’ll just see.

But here is M. Christian’s review and it really made my whole night:

“As arousing as it is heartfelt, as lyrical as it is penetrating, as meaningful as it is wild and untamed … I can give no greater praise for Marilyn Jaye Lewis’s The Guitar Hero Goes Home than to say this is a book written by a wonderful writer at the height of her powers.  HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!”

And he swore that he actually meant that; he wasn’t just being nice…

It’s tricky when you know the people who are giving you the feedback — are they just being nice, etc. But I’ve decided to just go ahead and allow myself to feel good about it. Because it puts me in a really great headspace about the whole project.

Okay. Well, I don’t really have anything much to say today because my focus has basically been on getting this book ready to go to print. However, I’m into Season 3 of Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries in the evenings and I have not seen any of these episodes before so that’s really exciting!! The show is just so fun.

So I will close this brief — and very late — post. I hope Friday has been great to you, wherever you are in the world!! I leave you with a Broken Record podcast on YouTube fromTuesday — Malcolm Gladwell talking to Rick Rubin about Tom Petty. So enjoy, gang. And thanks for visiting!! I love you guys. See ya.

And so it continues…

We’re getting closer to getting this darn novel published, finally.

Although the email that came from Valerie during the night, in response to my email to her regarding the cover design was: “OMG! What are all these words?!?!”

To be fair, though, I had been texting her with many emojis and leaving anxious voice mails, indicating, in a sort of very stressed out way, that I was “having issues” regarding the layout…

However, I’m confident that today, we will get it all figured out!!

And soon — very soon — that novel will finally be published!!

On a similar note, sort of — I heard from M. Christian the other day that one of our publishers was trying to locate me because they had a royalty check for me and had no clue where I was living anymore!

Well, that’s exciting — a royalty check. But it made me wonder how many other publishers have lost track of me? I still get royalty checks at our apartment in NYC, and that has not been my mailing address since 2003. So I was thinking that maybe I ought to do something about updating everybody. One of these days.

Anyway.

Well, as much as I tried to drag my feet on it, I have officially watched the final episode of Endeavour in Season 7. I cannot believe how long it takes to get the new episodes and then it’s over in a heartbeat (3 nights!!) and then you must wait another whole year.

I remember way back in the Dark Ages of my wee bonny girlhood, how different it was! A TV season lasted about 30 weeks, and then went into reruns all summer long, and then in mid-September, shortly after the new school semester had started, the new TV season began!!

OMG, it was so exciting. I couldn’t wait to see the new seasons of I Dream of Jeanie, Bewitched, That Girl; or The Brady Bunch and The Partridge Family  — to see how everyone had changed and grown and what kind of new hairstyles everyone had, and all the new fashions. It was so cool. It was just so exciting. (Okay, I was really little.)

I was so in love with David Cassidy (from The Partridge Family) back then that, when I was 10, it managed to practically ruin one of our family vacations for me.

David Cassidy, 1970s teen idol, has died at 67
David Cassidy — what’s not to love??

David Cassidy was going to be the special guest at Cleveland’s Thanksgiving Parade that year (1970),  kicking off the Christmas season in downtown Cleveland, but my family and I were on a vacation in the Caribbean. In the sunshine.  In a private little villa with its own private swimming pool, only a few steps from a beautiful beach and the Caribbean sea…

St. Thomas Beach Shore Excursion with Sightseeing & Shopping

…and I was heartsick because I couldn’t be in freezing cold, snowy downtown Cleveland, to watch David Cassidy ride in a parade and wave for 3 seconds at a mob of screaming little girls!!

Blizzard in Cleveland Ohio - 1950 - Euclid Avenue | Cleveland ohio ...
Cleveland in Winter

Too funny to think about it now — what I wouldn’t give to be hanging out in a private little villa with my own swimming pool.  Even though I had a good time during the day — the beaches were so beautiful, and it was my first exposure to steel drum music and I thought it was incredible; still, I would literally cry in my bed at night, knowing that I would miss David Cassidy in the parade…

(It was not TV-related, but there was another time when my parents forced me to take a really lovely family trip during summer vacation and it caused me to miss The Osmond Brothers performing live at the Ohio State Fair!! You can easily see that my childhood was tortuous…)

The Osmonds (Everything is Beautiful【Grammy 1971】LIve ...

Okay, well that was an unexpected trip down memory lane…

Yesterday, Nick Cave sent out a Red Hand File that was really good — all about his take on Cancel Culture and the role of mercy in a tolerant society. You can read it at that link there. It  was really well stated, gang.

Well, I gotta get started here! There is so much work still to do on the publication stuff today. I hope you’re having a nice Thursday, wherever you are in this COVID-infused world. Thanks for visiting, gang! I’m going to leave you with a hit song from 1964 that I always loved.  It’s Calypso, but no steel drums, or anything. “Shame and Scandal in the Family” by Shawn Elliott (this is based on a 1943 song, that had different lyrics, but these were the lyrics I grew up on). It’s too fun! So enjoy. I love you guys. See ya!

“Shame and Scandal in the Family”

Woe is me
Shame and scandal in the family
Woe is me
Shame and scandal in the family

In Trinidad there was a family
With much confusion as you will see
It was a mama and a papa and a boy who was grown
He wanted to marry, have a wife of his own
Found a young girl that suited him nice
Went to his papa to ask his advice
His papa said: “Son, I have to say no
This girl is your sister, but your mama don’t know”

Oh, woe is me
Shame and scandal in the family
Oh, woe is me
Shame and scandal in the family

A week went by and the summer came ’round
Soon the best cook in the island he found
He went to his papa to name the day
His papa shook his head and to him did say
“You Can’t marry this girl, I have to say no
This girl is your sister, but your mama don’t know”

Oh, woe is me
Shame and scandal in the family
Oh, woe is me
Shame and scandal in the family

He went to his mama and covered his head
And told his mama what his papa had said
His mama she laughed, she say, “Go man, go
Your daddy ain’t your daddy, but your daddy don’t know.”

Oh, woe is me
Shame and scandal in the family
Oh, woe is me
Shame and scandal in the family

©  1943, 1965 Sir Lancelot; Lord Melody

The Delights of Pre-Publication Continue!!

I spent all day yesterday working on the pre-publication stuff for The Guitar Hero Goes Home and here’s something really interesting that you might want to make note of:

If, two years ago, you thought you were going to write your novel really quickly and then just toss it up on Amazon’s Kindle & Create Space and so you used a manuscript writing template from Amazon that was in Beta-testing mode and then life went on and on and men you loved died and it was horrible and it took a year to finish writing the very short novel and by then you thought you’d send it around to small presses because the responses you were getting to separate chapters of the novel were extremely positive and so, a year later, when not a single small press replied to you, you decided to publish it yourself, as a small press and not necessarily as a Create Space press, and so you went through the process of attempting to format your manuscript as a non-Amazon POD…

And you then  discover that the Amazon Beta-testing template never made it to Alpha and it no longer exists and your manuscript is now locked into that template and you cannot remove it!!!!! Try as you might!!!

And even though it doesn’t look like it’s stuck in that template it actually IS…

And even though you try every way you can think of to try to trick the manuscript into thinking it is in fact no longer stuck in that Beta-testing template, and you run it through the manuscript processing machine, you realize that it has in fact tricked you, AGAIN, and it is still stuck in the template.

And so you stare hard at your computer screen for just a really long time and say things like, “Fuck, this can’t be possible” and “I am not retyping this whole fucking manuscript!” and “Shit, fuck” — stuff like that.

And then Valerie doesn’t return your texts or your calls and you have not only a lot of stuff to relay to her about the cover design, but you also wish to tell someone/anyone how insane this fucking non-removable template is and that you want to shoot yourself and you want someone/anyone to say how bad they feel for you!

(She did eventually text me back, but it was long after I was done fucking with that manuscript for the day.)

Anyway. Round 2. Guess who’s publishing The Guitar Hero Goes Home as a Create Space press? Because the template at least meets the measurements they need for the pages to print correctly.  Funny, right? The best laid plans of mice and men just lead you right the fuck back to where you were when you started writing the novel 2 years ago.

Just amazing.

Okay!! That said — I’m planning on having a really great day today, even though I will be once again spending the entire day trying to get this novel one step closer to publication. We shall see how that goes!! And if it goes poorly, at least Valerie has promised to call mid-afternoon today, so I will have someone to loudly complain to if need be!!

Well, that’s kind of it around here, gang.  My day was rather narrow in scope yesterday. I did watch one more episode of Endeavour, and another episode of Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries, so I was at least in heaven last evening!! (But (heavy sigh) only one episode of Endeavor left. Then a whole year must pass before the next one…)

I hope you have a great Wednesday unfolding for you, wherever you are in the world!! Tropical Fuck Storm dropped a new single last night, “Legal Ghost.” (This is a slightly different version of a song that Gareth Liddiard and Rui Pereira released in the 90s.) I leave you with that today!!  Enjoy! And thanks for visiting. I love you guys. See ya.

“Legal Ghost”

She said come in, wipe your feet
I walked in off the street
Into her room yeah it looked pretty bad
She made me read the report
And after all her contortions
I met her legal ghost, her legal ghost, her legal ghost

They went and burned his body
And then they burned his clothes
Yeah but it doesn’t really matter who you sleep with now, you’ll always sleep alone
So it may as well be me, I got nowhere to be
I’ll probably hang around
Yeah just you, me, us two, and your legal ghost
Your legal ghost

For once the cops ain’t calling for ya
But ya know that kid she can’t stay with ya
And see only thing you’ve got coming is just the spaces that are left by all the things that go
Like your legal ghost, your legal ghost, your legal ghost

It doesn’t really matter who you sleep with now you’re just a legal ghost
It doesn’t really matter who you speak with now you’re just a legal ghost
It doesn’t really matter who you talk to now you’re just a legal ghost
It doesn’t really matter where you walk to now you’re just a legal ghost
A legal ghost
You are a legal ghost

Ah but don’t the walls seem harder now?
Ain’t the corners just a little darker now?
Now your faith has failed you
Even a paper trail
Leads to your legal ghost
Your legal ghost
Your legal ghost
Your legal ghost

It doesn’t really matter who you sleep with now you’re just a legal ghost
It doesn’t really matter who you speak with now you’re just a legal ghost
It doesn’t really matter who you talk to now you’re just a legal ghost
It doesn’t really matter where you walk to now you’re just a legal ghost
A legal ghost, you are a legal ghost

It doesn’t really matter who you sleep with now you’re just a legal ghost
It doesn’t really matter who you speak with now you’re just a legal ghost
It doesn’t really matter who you talk with now you’re just a legal ghost
It doesn’t really matter where you walk to now you’re just a legal ghost
It doesn’t really matter if you hang around you’re just a legal ghost
It doesn’t really matter if you stay in town you’re just a legal ghost
You know I know that you know you are a legal ghost
You are a legal ghost, a legal ghost, a legal ghost

© 2020 Gareth Liddiard

Well, It’s That Kind of Day

My prayers go out to Jimmy Lai, and all of Hong Kong, really. I hope he survives his arrest — lives to see freedom again. I wouldn’t put money on it but I hope I’m wrong.

I hope Chicago survives its utter, all-out insanity.

You know, what goes on in Portland and Seattle — that insanity doesn’t bother me as much, because both Washington and Oregon are States with a long history of progressiveness, Socialism, etc.  That’s their thing. If they want to destroy their streets in the name of Socialism, that’s their thing.

But Illinois is not that type of State and to see the massive looting and rioting and murders and a sort of orgy of crime going on in the name of “progressiveness” is just unbelievably sad to me. If you look up the definitions of the words “progressive” and “crime spree” it will be interesting which definition you think is most suitable for what’s going on now in Chicago. You know, based on the functioning of your own brain and its ability to understand concepts.

And of course the main news outlets that cater to the progressives downplay all the violence, the mass shootings (Chicago — 2,249 people have been shot so far in Chicago this year –and Washington DC, where shootings have spiked 45% this year over last year).

I guess those news outlets want to keep everyone’s focus on de-funding the police, and mass shootings and violent riots would maybe tend to destabilize that goal.

You know, there are areas that can work just fine with a smaller police presence, but America, overall, is just way too violent even in a good year to de-fund the police.

It’s also interesting to note that people I talk to personally — friends still living in NYC — who talk about how violent it has also gotten there now and how they are making plans to move away;  you don’t see that desire for a mass exodus reflected in the news much, do you? They try to make it sound as if this unbelievable resurgence in crime is what the people want…

And the riots in Beirut right now as they try to uproot Hezbollah from their government. It’s interesting that the NY Times is all over that, but if you look at the online news coming out of the Middle East, they are not all over that Hezbollah angle. They put a  whole different spin on it.

It shows you that the media is always up to something. Best to trust your gut and your brain. If something quacks like a duck, it’s a duck.

Okay.

I spent most of this morning not wanting to do what I’d planned to do. I stayed in bed longer than I normally do. I did yoga instead of aerobics. I called my dad at the appointed time, but when he didn’t answer, I just turned off my phone. I don’t feel like talking to people right this minute.

I’m supposed to work with Peitor today on a new script for Abstract Absurdity Productions.  I don’t know if we actually will — I haven’t heard from him yet. I hope we do, but if we don’t, I have a ton of work to do on The Guitar Hero Goes Home (formatting , pre-publication work) because over the next several weeks, I’m going to be a guest on two podcasts, promoting, among other things, my new novel!

It would behoove me to actually have that new novel in the  marketplace by then.

The first podcast is a new show, hosted by Ralph Greco, Jr and M. Christian.

And the other podcast is hosted by  Dr. Amy Marsh and M. Christian.

These are both sex-positive podcasts and if you drop in and listen you will likely be astounded and amazed by the many, many sex-positive topics I have contained here in my brain on any given day.

My trip into town yesterday to buy the groceries was actually quite wonderful because I broke down and bought two different types of indescribably yummy ice cream bars!!! I bought a box of the Magnum minis (nowhere near as high in calories as the real things), and then some organic strawberry ice cream  bars dipped in organic dark chocolate. (Also not very high in calories!)

I can assure you with absolute confidence that both brands are incredibly delicious!!!

And you know how I get about ice cream when the world is stressing me out — nothing works better at calming me down.

You know, we don’t have crime here in Crazeysburg. I am absolutely quite serious about that. Crime here is negligible. And we have a very small police force — but it does contain one white woman, one African American man, and two white men.  We are, like, the perfect village in the middle of nowhere. We don’t even really have the virus here, either. One thing we are, though, is one giant speed trap. You can either go 25 mph, or 35 mph. That’s it. And it would behoove you to pay close attention to those speed limits if you ever decide to come visit me because they will get you. That’s how City Hall makes it’s money since there’s no real crime…

And it gets harder and harder to want to leave Crazeysburg.  It really does.  It’s actually not so crazy here.

Okay. Well, I’m gonna get started here. I’m way behind schedule. I hope you have a terrific Tuesday, wherever you are in the world.  I’m still listening to Dylan’s 2009 album, Together Through Life. Today I’m leaving you with this somewhat timely song, “Beyond Here Lies Nothin'”. This is the official video, which is really violent, but it’s the visual statement Dylan wanted to make. And it is a good song. Okay, make it a good day for yourself, okay? I love you guys. See ya.

“Beyond Here Lies Nothin'”

Oh well, I love you pretty baby
You’re the only love I’ve ever known
Just as long as you stay with me
The whole world is my throne
Beyond here lies nothin’
Nothin’ we can call our own

Well, I’m movin’ after midnight
Down boulevards of broken cars
Don’t know what I’d do without it
Without this love that we call ours
Beyond here lies nothin’
Nothin’ but the moon and stars

Down every street there’s a window
And every window’s made of glass
We’ll keep on lovin’ pretty baby
For as long as love will last
Beyond here lies nothin’
But the mountains of the past

Well, my ship is in the harbor
And the sails are spread
Listen to me, pretty baby
Lay your hand upon my head
Beyond here lies nothin’
Nothin’ done and nothin’ said

© 2009 Bob Dylan, Robert Hunter

Really Gotta Scoot, Gang!!

It is already super, super, SUPER sunny here today, and it’s going to be very hot. So I want to get an early start into town to get the groceries.

I don’t want to complain, though, because the rest of the week is supposed to be overcast and full of thunderstorms. Of course the crops need the rain. But anyway. I’m going to try to make the best out of the sun today, but stay out of it as much as I can.

Last night’s episode of Endeavor was definitely worth waiting one year for. (I noticed in the opening credits last night that it’s actually spelled the British way: Endeavour. Only took me 7 years to notice this.)

I’m not crazy about watching it on the flat screen TV with the firestick 4, though, because it is so intensely HD that it has that “live” look to it — the “film” quality is completely gone. I actually wound up switching halfway through it, and going back to watching it on the iPad.

But everything else looks okay on the firestick 4, although it still seems so weird to have the TV in the kitchen.  I was watching a special about Viking Warrior Women last evening and suddenly noticed that I actually had both my legs — bare feet included — up on the kitchen table  while I was leaning back in my chair (!!!). Jesus. That’s a little too bohemian for me…

Anyway. Where to put the TV is the worst of my troubles right now.

Today is “reading other writers’ works” day! So I’ll be back in the Netherlands (mentally), reading Whatever Comes My Way: Travels in the Netherlands, by Roger Gaess. Today, I’m going to find out about Zwolle, Eindhoven, Venlo, and Maastricht! (I don’t know if I’m going to find out how to pronounce the names of those cities, but I feel certain that we’re going to find out where all the bars are!!)

Yesterday was a bit of a washout.  I wrote nothing new on Thug Luckless: Welcome to P-Town. I simply could not get the brain to function properly — it just kept drifting away from me (see yesterday’s post re: how the morning started out). That stuff kind of depresses me when it happens, but oh well. The week’s over. On Friday, I can get back to work on Thug Luckless.

By late yesterday afternoon, I finally gave up on trying to write. So I streamed some things on  the TV, waiting for the magical hour of 9pm, when Endeavour came on. I watched the above-mentioned Viking Warrior Women thing (fascinating, actually), and then another great episode of Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries. And then I also watched Napoleon Dynamite.

I had never seen that movie. It was a huge hit among teenagers back when it came out, but I was 44 when it came out! Anyway, I know that now it’s sort of culturally iconic so I wanted to finally watch it. I really enjoyed it. It was a very sweet & touching film, overall. And I did laugh out loud at a lot of it.

I took a walk over to the cemetery, too. Not to look at the graves, so much, as to see the panorama of cornfields.  The cornfields are everywhere around here, and the corn is really tall now. It’s so pretty to look at it. For as far as the eye can see now, the valleys are filled with rows and rows of corn, and then the valleys are surrounded by green hills, covered in trees. Just really pretty to look at. Helps me forget all the COVID nonsense.

Meanwhile, more wonderful developments re: Tell My Bones. I’ll keep you updated when I can start blogging about it. I’m super excited by the potential prospects.

Okay, that’s it today, gang. I’m going to head into town now. Have a great Monday, wherever you are in the world!! Thanks for visiting. I leave you with my listening music from this morning — Bob Dylan, “It’s All Good,” from his Together Through Life album (2009). (Below is a live version, the only version I could find, but it’s all good!!!) All righty! Enjoy. I love you guys. See ya!

“It’s All Good”

Talk about me babe, if you must.
Throw out the dirt; pile on the dust.
I’d do the same thing if I could
You know what they say? They say it’s all good.
All good.
It’s all good.

Big politician telling lies;
Restaurant kitchen all full of flies.
Don’t make a bit of difference; don’t see why it should.
But it’s alright, cause its all good.
Its all good.
Its all good.

Wives are leavin’ their husbands; they’re beginning to roam.
They leave the party and they never get home.
I wouldn’t change it even if I could
You know what they say, man, it’s all good.
It’s all good.
All good.

Brick by brick, they tear you down.
A teacup of water is enough to drown.
You oughta know, if they could, they would
Whatever goin’ down, it’s all good.

All good.
Said it’s all good.

People in the country, People on the land.
Some of them so sick they can hardly stand.
Everybody would move away if they could
Its hard to believe but its all good.
Yeah…

Well widows cry; the orphans plea.
Everywhere you look there’s more misery.
Come along with me babe, I wish you would.
You know what I’m sayin’, it’s all good.

All good.
I said it’s all good.
All good.

Cold blooded killer stomp into town
Cop car’s blinkin’, something bad goin’ down.
Buildings are crumblin, in the neighborhood.
But there’s nothing to worry about, cause it’s all good.
It’s all good.
I say it’s all good.

Gonna whistle and blow it in your face.
This time tomorrow I’ll be rollin’ in your place.
I wouldn’t change a thing even if I could.
You know what they say?
They say it’s all good.
It’s all good.
It’s all good.

© 2009 Bob Dylan

A Whacked-Out Sunday is Certainly Underway in Crazeysburg!

Just one of those days, gang.

I did not want to get out of bed (eventually, though, I did).

I did NOT (capital letters there) want to get on the treadmill this morning, but after sitting on the edge of my bed and staring at stuff for almost 2 hours, I finally forced myself to go downstairs and get on the fucking treadmill.

Then I showered. Washed my hair. I have all the earmarks of someone who’s actually doing stuff here this morning, but I am struggling to make that happen.

Mostly, I know how depressed I can get if I avoid doing stuff, so I try to just make it happen. Plus, I’ve lost 7 pounds now. 5 more pounds and I’m back to pre-COVID weight. So I don’t want to lose sight of that.

Well, that documentary on Creem Magazine (Creem: America’s Only  Rock & Roll Magazine), was really good.  I can’t emphasize enough how that magazine shaped my perception of myself and music and New York City in the 1970s, and had a lot to do with me moving to NYC in 1980 (rather than to Nashville, which was where a lot of people said I should have moved).

It was really cool to see the interviews with some of the musicians who were around my age, who were also just as influenced by Creem. It was quite a magazine, there was just nothing like it.

The documentary is mostly about the people who started it and how & why it got started, and the personalities involved (many of the writers there became quite well known). Lots of 1970s-excesses, though, which lead, sadly to suicides and accidental deaths by overdose.

Plus, the zine was so indescribably politically incorrect that by today’s standards, people now would start twitter-storms and social media hate bombs. All that nonsense. There was never a racial problem with Creem — because back then, the music from the black communities and the white communities usually mixed. But the writers at Creem were often insensitive to absolutely everyone’s feelings — expecting the people they wrote about to stand up for themselves (they did!). And they were also writing simply to provoke and to get readers worked up and involved.

The magazine was actually really fun. And fucking funny. (For the reader, anyway.) I definitely enjoyed watching the documnetary and taking that trip down memory lane, where people weren’t so intensely hung up on stuff (politics).

Plus, I miss rock & roll. Which is just basically dead now.

Creem magazine's wild misfit days of sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll

All righty. Good news continues to develop regarding Tell My Bones, but I still can’t blog about it. But it’s certainly helping me feel like there is something on the horizon besides more and more COVID and more and more shouting about politics.

I’m hoping to just focus on Thug Luckless: Welcome to P-Town today, but then tonight!!! Season 7 of Endeavor begins on PBS!!!!! And I, for one, cannot wait!!

Amazon.com: Watch Masterpiece: Endeavour, Season One | Prime Video

Well, I think that’s about it for today, gang.  I hope you have a terrific Sunday, wherever you are in this wonderful world.  Thanks for visiting. I leave you with the Everly Brothers this morning! I am currently listening to their Greatest Hits during the wee small hours of dawn. And this is certainly one of them: “Love Hurts.” (If you’re too young to know who the Everly Brothers were, they were actual brothers from Kentucky who sang and harmonized together like angels.) (Egos eventually got too big and they split up, but before that happened, they had tons of huge hits.) Okay, well, enjoy! I love you guys. See ya.